The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

Speaker 1 I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

Speaker 3 Not everybody could do this.

Speaker 4 We're thankful for you for being a viewer, a supporter of the show.

Speaker 6 It's been a long transformation. Without you, our genes are low and loose.

Speaker 7 And if she let me eat her booty, yeah, I'm gonna eat her booty.

Speaker 8 This is Mom's House Live, bitch!

Speaker 4 Why Makes Live is so exciting. This is our first one in a while.

Speaker 10 This is a big, big episode.

Speaker 11 I love you. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't need more.

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Speaker 4 What's everybody?

Speaker 4 It's time for the 800th episode of

Speaker 16 Your Mom's House.

Speaker 18 Woo! Woo! Isn't that wild?

Speaker 19 So many, Jeans.

Speaker 20 That's so crazy.

Speaker 6 We found 800 different ways to talk about brown

Speaker 6 injuries, cool guys.

Speaker 6 So amazing. Mental illness.

Speaker 4 800 episodes.

Speaker 6 Sexual things. Yeah.

Speaker 14 It's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 So today,

Speaker 4 yeah, this marks the 800th time we've done this podcast.

Speaker 6 It's amazing.

Speaker 4 Which I can't even wrap my head around this.

Speaker 6 It's just so many episodes. It's a blur.

Speaker 4 It's a blur.

Speaker 4 It's been through really

Speaker 4 a huge part of our life. I mean, that's all of it.
We've been doing this roughly 15 years now.

Speaker 4 So this was like we were

Speaker 4 married, but we had just gotten married.

Speaker 24 We were newlyweds, basically.

Speaker 4 We were in an apartment. apartment in Silver Lake.
This took us through.

Speaker 25 We've had two kids.

Speaker 16 I know.

Speaker 4 Family deaths. Yep.
We've had so many, we've moved homes, we've moved states.

Speaker 6 We've had your Invisalign.

Speaker 4 Invisalign, which one I would say of the last 15 years, the most traumatic thing that happened to either of us was Invisalign.

Speaker 2 To anybody in his family.

Speaker 4 Yeah, especially when they came off.

Speaker 23 I really hated that.

Speaker 6 It hurt so bad.

Speaker 4 You had some other shit, but Invisalign is really what I think this sticks with us.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so we're going to discuss some of those things. And plus, you know, there's, you know, other, you know, I'm saying,

Speaker 18 COVID, you know, 19 virus.

Speaker 4 There's a bunch of things that we can talk about.

Speaker 25 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4 Real quick to let everybody know, in two days, it is March 7th, and that means YMH Live 10 is coming. It is back.
YMH Live is back, 7.30 p.m. Central Time.
It's our biggest one yet.

Speaker 4 We're going to tell you some of the amazing details in a moment, but we have the great Dan Soder, one of the funniest comedians working today, is joining us live in studio.

Speaker 4 Of Of course, there are brand new original sketches and things that we've shot. We're giving away $10,000.
You can go to ymhstudios.com for more information there.

Speaker 4 Grab your ticket, and we will announce the winner live on the show right before the heavy segment. And don't miss the exclusive VIP post-show with the great cockroach, Josh Potter.

Speaker 4 So that's all happening March 7th, right here, ymhstudios.com.

Speaker 6 These sketches, by the way, that we're doing for this YMH live are, I think, the best we've ever done.

Speaker 6 It's so good.

Speaker 19 It's other level.

Speaker 4 I mean, it's, we should just say it who's going to be appearing.

Speaker 18 Yeah. Dare we?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think it's worth saying that

Speaker 4 we brought Tony John to town.

Speaker 26 Woo! So he came to town.

Speaker 6 He came to Austin. He did.
He did a sketch with us.

Speaker 4 He did. He came to town.
And we also have

Speaker 4 the great Will Blunderfeld, and he's close friend.

Speaker 16 Yep.

Speaker 18 Life partner, life coach.

Speaker 27 I'm shameless. I'm fearless.
I'm doubtless.

Speaker 6 That's what he says after he eats his comrade.

Speaker 21 And yeah, I'm shameless.

Speaker 6 I'm fearless. I'm doubtless.

Speaker 4 That is one of the times he says that.

Speaker 4 A really juicy anus workshop.

Speaker 7 Let's just say

Speaker 4 we

Speaker 4 had a workshop with him. It's incredible.
And on top of that, on top of all that, we have the one and only

Speaker 18 Charo.

Speaker 2 Charo. You don't like it?

Speaker 26 Tata there, retard.

Speaker 24 Charo did an amazing bit.

Speaker 31 Oh, me.

Speaker 4 So we have that. We have another,

Speaker 4 a crazy short film that we made. It's not even a sketch.
It's a short film.

Speaker 4 It's the biggest one we've ever done, and we're super excited. So I hope you'll join us.
And of course, I always have to remind people, and I'm happy to do it.

Speaker 4 A lot of people worry because it's called YMH Live. They're like, what if I can't be there live? You can still watch the show after the original live version.

Speaker 4 If you get a ticket, you could watch it Saturday, Sunday, the next week. It's viewable for you anytime.
It's just if you want to be there live as it happens, it's going to be 7.30 p.m.

Speaker 4 Central on March 7th.

Speaker 28 It's amazing.

Speaker 6 It's amazing. It's amazing.

Speaker 4 You ready to start the show?

Speaker 2 Amaze. Of course.

Speaker 21 All right, here you go.

Speaker 23 Of course.

Speaker 32 I just got my second foot job of all time. So, let's talk about it in Reddit one through ten.
Unfortunately, I would have to give this a seven out of ten.

Speaker 32 I did finish from it, surprisingly, and I did love it.

Speaker 32 I don't know, it's just something about the grip on the bottom of the feet, like the calluses, and when they curve it and grip it, it feels so good to me.

Speaker 32 I don't even look at the feet, I make eye contact the whole entire time.

Speaker 32 Last time, I didn't like it because she was the older lady, but this time she was my age, so I think that made a difference for sure.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, that would that would make all the difference.

Speaker 29 Don't bring anyone mother into this, your mom in the fucking sad.

Speaker 9 Well, welcome.

Speaker 6 Oh, get it, Tom.

Speaker 33 Mom, Segura.

Speaker 9 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 14 B, Z.

Speaker 6 Money giving for jobs.

Speaker 7 I I would do that just for cash that's easy

Speaker 16 with my paws and

Speaker 34 so easy

Speaker 32 I did finish from it surprisingly

Speaker 4 so it's pretty cool that he's

Speaker 4 my favorite thing is a young person going like this is some things I'll put out. Like, this is your digital footprint.

Speaker 36 Forever.

Speaker 4 No pun intended. That, like, yeah, I got a couple foot jobs recently, and you just do an online review of them for people.

Speaker 6 Yeah, because is the community so vast and various that they need a reviewer?

Speaker 6 It's not like buying a car.

Speaker 25 I don't think, yeah.

Speaker 4 He's also, he looks like he's fucking 19. No, this is, he's going to go in for an interview at some point where he'll be like, are you the foot job review guy?

Speaker 6 Or even a lady. Yeah.
He may be a dating person down the road.

Speaker 32 why did you feel compelled to post this i don't know what it is i can't really explain it like the grip is weird the texture is weird it's definitely weird but it feels good it's like trying octopus or squid like it's definitely different but it tastes good i will say the clarity does I will say the clarity does hit a lot harder than normal because it's like, damn, did I really just do that to a pair of feet?

Speaker 32 I didn't ask to do it this time. I was never going to ask again.
She asked, and I thought she was joking, but she actually kept on asking. So I was like, fuck fuck it, let's do it.

Speaker 4 Fuck it. Oh, well, that's cool.

Speaker 4 It is, I'll also, I'll say this. His analogy was fantastic.

Speaker 6 Yes, it is like trying to get a quid or octopus.

Speaker 4 You're like, this is not the normal thing I do.

Speaker 6 Well, he was saying, too, that the older broad has calluses, which definitely that adds up.

Speaker 6 It's just inevitable over time.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 6 You know, but how does she get the grip with the feet?

Speaker 6 Practice.

Speaker 4 You just got to practice.

Speaker 6 That's what I'm wondering: is how do you get a firm grip with the

Speaker 19 metals of your feed? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Wow. I'll show you.

Speaker 4 So anyway, it's cool that I have a feeling, and this is just my assumption here. Yeah.
This is not the only review this man has left. It'd be kind of maybe worth exploring what other reviews he puts.

Speaker 4 There's no way he's just like living life and decided this is a one-off.

Speaker 23 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 This person probably has a bunch of cool reviews.

Speaker 6 It's really risky to put it out there at 19.

Speaker 7 It's pretty young.

Speaker 33 He's young.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's not at the end of his life where he's made his money.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 4 The young doing,

Speaker 4 you know, not realizing what they're doing. So, this is one lane where he's obviously talking about busting nuts.
Here's another way that you could be young and kind of ruin things.

Speaker 39 What did you say about my second man? It just happened before. You know what? 1444 means.

Speaker 23 The number.

Speaker 39 14 minutes.

Speaker 39 Hill Hitler.

Speaker 40 Oh.

Speaker 41 Oh.

Speaker 39 Do you have a

Speaker 39 house?

Speaker 39 1444, yeah. I'm reporting him exactly.

Speaker 42 Yeah, you guys, dumbass bitches don't know shit.

Speaker 41 Oh, shit.

Speaker 40 Don't listen to him.

Speaker 39 No, no, no, no, no. Fat girl, fat girl.

Speaker 11 Yeah, what?

Speaker 28 Look, bitch.

Speaker 43 Come on, go.

Speaker 40 Say something about Mexicans. Say something about them.
Oh, Mexicans.

Speaker 9 No, exactly.

Speaker 40 When you get in a rattle,

Speaker 39 say something.

Speaker 41 You want to be a motherfucker.

Speaker 39 That's why you came. Do you want to know something about Mexicans?

Speaker 41 Yeah, I'm sure. Tell you something.

Speaker 42 You goddamn beaners

Speaker 6 should be sliced at the throat at the border.

Speaker 42 We should slice you

Speaker 42 goddamn beaners at the throat.

Speaker 43 You want to know why?

Speaker 39 Come here.

Speaker 40 Bring the camera in.

Speaker 39 No, I'm listening. I'm listening.

Speaker 40 I'm listening. Bring the camera in.

Speaker 43 Yeah, I'm listening.

Speaker 42 Why you goddamn beaners should be sliced at their throat?

Speaker 43 What?

Speaker 42 Listen. Yeah.
Because you guys are goddamn border hopper niggers.

Speaker 43 Wow. What?

Speaker 40 Mike tell us a dick. What's your name again?

Speaker 43 Wow. What's your name again?

Speaker 39 He shouldn't be drinking.

Speaker 44 He's only 21 years old and he.

Speaker 4 See, that sets you up for life. Yeah.

Speaker 7 This exists forever.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's a good one.

Speaker 4 It's a good one to put out there.

Speaker 6 That's a good one. Because, you know, in the 90s, maybe every now and then you'd meet a rando like that.
Yeah. And you're like, that guy's just fucked up.
And then you talk about it for years. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you'd be like, remember the guy?

Speaker 6 Remember that guy?

Speaker 25 And then you'd be like, this guy.

Speaker 24 This is the guy.

Speaker 6 Here, let me pass this around.

Speaker 4 No, and his life is over. His employment possibilities, his whole career trajectory.

Speaker 16 It's so fucking good.

Speaker 2 Fucking Bryce.

Speaker 42 Border Hopper niggas.

Speaker 6 Bryce just destroyed his future. And he probably had a good one because he's wearing a nice polo button.

Speaker 25 That might be a work.

Speaker 4 That looks like it's an actual, it's not like a choice from his closet.

Speaker 25 He might have been working this event.

Speaker 4 You know, and tied one on. Yeah.

Speaker 26 Hell Atler.

Speaker 25 Like when his boss is probably like, woo, wait a minute. What are you doing?

Speaker 28 What bitch?

Speaker 6 Wow. And not only that, I was.
He had a lot of notes.

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 6 And what's really interesting is that he pulled out Beaner, which is old school.

Speaker 18 It's old school, yeah.

Speaker 6 So somebody older than him is training him. Yeah.
That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 25 The kids for today, they don't remember.

Speaker 6 They don't know Beener. No.

Speaker 43 Goddamn Beaners.

Speaker 4 He is, he comes from a cool line of people.

Speaker 21 Right.

Speaker 6 Yeah. His mom and dad are saying this crap.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's not just him, man.

Speaker 23 They're pretty cool.

Speaker 13 Who 1444?

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 47 Wasn't this so stupid?

Speaker 36 He had it all.

Speaker 5 He hit, he got Hitler. Wow.

Speaker 4 He said, fat, you fat bitches.

Speaker 2 What's up, bitch?

Speaker 15 He said to kill people at that.

Speaker 4 Slice their throats. I thought he was going to be like, you know why you just slice your throats to the border?

Speaker 48 This is Mexican food's delicious. Yeah.

Speaker 49 Like, I thought he was going to turn it to the food.

Speaker 20 Which is true.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Wow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's hearing this speech from dad, I think.

Speaker 18 Oh, or uncle. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Somebody our age is training him.

Speaker 21 Taking our job.

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Speaker 4 The taking our jobs speech.

Speaker 6 It's the stupidest thing ever.

Speaker 4 The oldest, dumbest, most fucking ignorant speech of all.

Speaker 2 It really is. They're not.

Speaker 4 Coming here taking the jobs we want.

Speaker 18 The gardening jobs. What jobs?

Speaker 4 Do you want to pick strawberries? Like, do you realize that

Speaker 4 these people are willing to work 18 hours a day and not complain for all this shit that you it's unbelievable but no anyway but the problem is this guy never knew any beaners.

Speaker 6 You know what I mean? He didn't grow up around Mexicans the way that I did, you did in Latin culture. He does not, no respect

Speaker 53 for them.

Speaker 6 No, he has no respect, no, no knowledge. He doesn't know any Mexicans.
That's true. The country club he grew up in, he never met him.

Speaker 4 He didn't.

Speaker 4 He's going to get to know some now.

Speaker 4 He's going to have a whole new life experience now.

Speaker 6 You know, one good thing about

Speaker 42 the goddamn border hopper niggers.

Speaker 11 Is that you? Is that you?

Speaker 6 I was going to say that the one bright spot about MAGA and Donald Trump returning to office is that now these cool clips are resurfacing of a lot of Hitler clips, a lot of, you know, get them out of the country.

Speaker 6 They're taking our job clips. Those are really surfacing up now.

Speaker 4 It's making people poke their chest out again.

Speaker 6 Good. Getting comfortable.

Speaker 4 Well, get comfortable with it.

Speaker 4 You're going to have a whole cool bunch of things happen in your life. It's fun that you're young enough that you get to experience a full life now.

Speaker 47 A full life.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So anyway, we were, there's so many cool things to review and talk about. One of the things we were going to do is talk about some of the best moments of the last 100 episodes.

Speaker 4 One of the first things that comes to mind is episode 704. This is when Ryan and Ennie challenged each other to basketball.

Speaker 16 That was awesome.

Speaker 4 Do you remember? Is that, I remember how I couldn't believe how competitive any was. Like, you really dug deep.

Speaker 4 First of all, you were like one of the only black guys I ever knew that was like, I'm not good at basketball.

Speaker 5 I didn't play.

Speaker 4 It wasn't my obsession, like, growing up.

Speaker 24 Like, you just... I didn't.

Speaker 24 Yeah, well, that's my other half talking.

Speaker 18 Oh, right.

Speaker 45 I got two sides to this shit.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 But then you were like, I cannot let. my black half down exactly and I'm going to go all in.

Speaker 3 Exactly. Like, you know, the white me was talking for a minute, and then he said, any amount, any amount of money.
And Blackstout was like, you're going to take that nigga?

Speaker 14 You going to do that? Yeah.

Speaker 3 You all let him just clown you like that? I'm like, no, fuck that.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 3 But you committed.

Speaker 25 You committed. Hell yeah, I did.

Speaker 3 I fucking, I went to go, what's it called?

Speaker 50 To that coach.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Mr. Jasper, motherfucker trained me.

Speaker 4 A former pro, right? Wasn't he a pro?

Speaker 3 He was a...

Speaker 4 Like international player or something?

Speaker 37 Yeah, he was. Fuck, was he?

Speaker 3 Is it Denmark or some shit? But yeah, he was like 3v3 pro or something.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And yeah, he was great um but I mean I told him as soon as I met him I'm like look man I got no fundamentals I got no nothing just show me like one thing that I could do and I'll just do that be honest

Speaker 4 be honest when I ask you

Speaker 4 how did you describe your opponent to him

Speaker 3 I told him to watch I told him to look you're like here's a white guy he's kind of he's old ass white guy yeah I was like well because he he watched like yo he was invested man he got super invested into the into the show so he found the show he saw the whole thing and then he told me stuff where he's like god I forget what he said but he was like yeah the way that he talked about backing you up and then like lobbing it or some shit he's like people don't say that like he said he wasn't he played in college he did not play in college he's lying so I think I think you might have a chance here well I think what

Speaker 4 I think what Ryan was saying then was that he he didn't claim to play on a like a college team is that he played basketball in college in other words not for the school but it was just like part of his you mean like you mean like he played in the gym like yeah yeah like pickup games.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that's a weird way to say that, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I think when you say I played in college, that usually kind of means right, right.

Speaker 4 If somebody goes, I played in college, they're saying, right.

Speaker 19 It's like, I got you.

Speaker 25 Got you, got you.

Speaker 3 And that's why I understood. I'm like, yo, any amount of money, I get it.
Like, especially after I really did start to learn the game, I'm like, shit, all right.

Speaker 37 Like, real talk, though, if he was some.

Speaker 4 Did you play any more after that?

Speaker 54 No, not once.

Speaker 4 That was it.

Speaker 52 Not once. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That was your mission. Yeah, man, I don't like basketball.

Speaker 49 It's a good.

Speaker 35 Wow.

Speaker 4 It is still. It was such a fun day.

Speaker 45 It was such a fun day.

Speaker 7 You don't swim there.

Speaker 3 Right in the studio to try it clearly.

Speaker 24 I don't swim either.

Speaker 25 Go ahead. Get in there.

Speaker 6 You don't go in the ocean. Hell no.

Speaker 3 I don't swim either, but guess what?

Speaker 28 I'll beat you in some last two, nigga. Oh,

Speaker 9 sure.

Speaker 23 Let's get it. Ryan,

Speaker 4 you are the Ryan that everyone's talking about. So

Speaker 4 do you want to comment on anything that's been being said here? I'm sitting there in my office listening to everything he's saying.

Speaker 3 Can we hear him? You got to push the button, big man.

Speaker 38 I'm sitting in my office listening to everything he's saying. He's just lying left and right.
Yes.

Speaker 25 He's good at that. By the way,

Speaker 4 one of the things we'll get to is that, and he's a huge liar. Go ahead, Ryan.

Speaker 24 Can be.

Speaker 14 He can be. Can be.

Speaker 50 Jeez.

Speaker 38 He also lied saying that he wasn't training. He wasn't doing anything.

Speaker 50 I never said that.

Speaker 29 I never said I wasn't training.

Speaker 38 I never said it. But I did.

Speaker 25 What did you say?

Speaker 3 I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything.
No one said anything about training or not training.

Speaker 19 You just said. I didn't say what you were doing.

Speaker 3 You said nothing. No, you did not.
Why did you ask me that? Was it on the show? No.

Speaker 38 You can't be trusted. So anything I'm saying wasn't.

Speaker 7 Was it on the show? No, it wasn't on the show. Exactly.

Speaker 24 I work with you all day, unfortunately.

Speaker 50 So I talk to you a lot. You never asked me.

Speaker 21 I'm forced to.

Speaker 24 You never asked me.

Speaker 50 Okay, forget about that.

Speaker 38 Okay. You saying that I played in college?

Speaker 51 I would have never said I played in college.

Speaker 3 Oh, I'm pretty sure we have that on tape, too.

Speaker 38 Find it. I'll give you $1,000 of my own money if you're.

Speaker 25 Oh, my God.

Speaker 38 Right now.

Speaker 50 I'll give you.

Speaker 3 Well, I don't have a way to lose it.

Speaker 7 You need $1,000. You can't look it up right now.
But you also have to go find it.

Speaker 38 You have $1,000 to go find it.

Speaker 24 I think you did say that, though.

Speaker 25 No, I did not.

Speaker 4 But wait a minute.

Speaker 25 Here's the thing, though.

Speaker 4 Because we can get into the semantics of this.

Speaker 4 Are you saying that he was like, I I played basketball when I was in college, or

Speaker 4 I played college ball?

Speaker 38 I definitely didn't say I played college ball because that'd be a straight lie and anyone can look it up. But I also didn't say that I played in college.
Okay. I played in high school.

Speaker 3 You know what I will?

Speaker 25 I do remember him saying he played in high school.

Speaker 24 Maybe

Speaker 24 it's very different.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Maybe what happened was that maybe Tom said that you did. And so I was like, that's where I heard it.

Speaker 7 Don't blame it on Tom.

Speaker 37 Okay.

Speaker 3 Either way, I definitely heard that because he,

Speaker 55 the coach was saying,

Speaker 38 blame me again now that I'm actually back in shape.

Speaker 24 My knees aren't blown up.

Speaker 7 That's what I was going to ask.

Speaker 7 Nigga, please.

Speaker 24 It's easy.

Speaker 25 Nigga, please. Wait, wait.

Speaker 25 What does that mean?

Speaker 4 Translate that for us. What does that mean?

Speaker 25 It means no.

Speaker 24 No.

Speaker 7 How?

Speaker 24 But can I get paid, nigga?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 38 No, you chose not to give me paid.

Speaker 7 You chose not to.

Speaker 55 Chose what?

Speaker 50 What happened with the hair?

Speaker 38 You could have had long locks of hair.

Speaker 24 What do you mean?

Speaker 7 You got scared. What 10 G's said, nigga?

Speaker 3 You said any amount of money. What happened?

Speaker 38 No, you just wanted hair transition.

Speaker 24 No, no, I wanted

Speaker 38 after you guys.

Speaker 3 I wanted 10 G's, and y'all were like, that's an irresponsible amount of money. It's irresponsible for you to say any amount of money.

Speaker 7 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's crazy, nigga. 10 Gs.

Speaker 24 10 G's, baby. 10 G's.

Speaker 7 Even in my head's about to be.

Speaker 4 If you win a rematch.

Speaker 52 Hell no, ain't no rematch.

Speaker 3 10 G's.

Speaker 4 You wouldn't do it for $10,000?

Speaker 29 I already won $10,000.

Speaker 52 I'm out of here.

Speaker 3 We ain't doing another one so I could also not get paid for that.

Speaker 7 So was the bet for

Speaker 38 hair implants or $10,000?

Speaker 6 It was for hair implants.

Speaker 3 It was for $10,000. It was for $10,000, and then y'all said that it was irresponsible, and then we had to change the amount.
Wait a minute.

Speaker 10 it was for hair.

Speaker 24 The thing you were playing for was hair.

Speaker 3 But see, what I'm saying is we went to that because

Speaker 38 then you chickened out because you didn't want, you heard that there was a little blood, little micro needles, and you're like, oh, that's scared.

Speaker 6 They got scared.

Speaker 24 I remember what I was saying.

Speaker 4 You don't remember saying that you wanted this hair gaslighting all set up?

Speaker 38 What I'm saying is, well, how this started was...

Speaker 3 He's like, name any amount of money. Nadab was sitting in this chair, and you texted him that, and I said, nigga, 10 Gs.

Speaker 3 And then you were agreeing and it was like, okay, well, you, or you were saying, Tom, that, like, well, look, that's an irresponsible amount of money. Maybe we should do something else.

Speaker 3 So you forced, y'all forced me to come up with something else.

Speaker 7 So I was like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 The only thing I could think of is hair, I guess.

Speaker 6 We got to review the tape.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 6 I don't remember the conversation going that way. I remember asking, what do you want, any? And he goes, I'd like to have hair.

Speaker 24 I don't remember.

Speaker 4 And I remember setting up all the hair stuff.

Speaker 11 Yeah, we were going to send you to Turkey.

Speaker 24 I don't remember that.

Speaker 3 Listen, I'm not saying I didn't at a point agree to that. I'm just saying that that's not what I originally bet.

Speaker 24 Well, why don't you hear it?

Speaker 25 But wait, you're saying bet

Speaker 4 you're what you guys bet each other that amount?

Speaker 3 He said any amount of money. I think

Speaker 7 the dollars.

Speaker 24 And he's like, well, that should be no problem.

Speaker 3 I could use a nice, what'd you say, like a nice fucking pool with some shit. I don't know if you're a bad person.

Speaker 4 I think the reason that

Speaker 4 that was shot down was that

Speaker 4 even though you won, yes, you did.

Speaker 4 The idea that a boss,

Speaker 4 he's your employer, could take $10,000 if you had lost did feel like it's like an abuse to do.

Speaker 3 So, two things. Number one, don't say any amount of money that's making a bet.

Speaker 24 If you're going to say that, you better own up to it. Number two, I chose the money.

Speaker 3 I'm the one that chose the money.

Speaker 38 You're not wrong, but we didn't shake hands on $10,000. That's my point.
Sure. We started, yes, we started as going like, all right, any amount of money.

Speaker 38 And then, to Tom's point, we settled on something that would be entertaining not only for us, but something that you wanted, and also something that felt like more of a bet.

Speaker 4 You did say, seemed thrilled at the hair idea.

Speaker 3 I thought, again, I thought that that might have been a cool thing because, again, you were forced me to come up with something else. And I'm like, look, I like money.
I want money.

Speaker 3 I don't fucking want anything else, but fine. If I had to think of something.

Speaker 50 Okay. It's like, all right, fuck it.
I guess the hair.

Speaker 26 Okay.

Speaker 3 But then, yeah, once it was in my face, it's like, nigga, fuck it.

Speaker 24 I do think you should. I think you should rematch.

Speaker 18 I ain't want no man.

Speaker 4 I'll put $10,000 in cash on the table.

Speaker 53 Okay.

Speaker 24 I'll put it on the table.

Speaker 38 I'm joking. You killed me last night.
You destroyed me. Why wouldn't you want to play again?

Speaker 3 Because I don't like basketball.

Speaker 10 I already beat you, bro.

Speaker 52 What about swimming?

Speaker 6 Hold on. What about swimming? Right before Ryan came in, you said.
That's so crazy, too.

Speaker 17 You already, man, you already gave you the L.

Speaker 24 Like,

Speaker 3 how many L's do you want in your last name, though?

Speaker 33 Two L's. I'm three.

Speaker 33 Hallelujah.

Speaker 7 You want to be hype, Ryan? Hallela La Law. That's what you want to be.

Speaker 50 I'm 40 pounds.

Speaker 7 Like, how many L's do you want, nigga?

Speaker 38 My knees are back in shape. I'm now much stronger than you.
So come on, let's go.

Speaker 7 Oh,

Speaker 7 what about laps?

Speaker 6 Swimming laps. Annie, you said it right before you came in that you would swim laps.
You would learn to swim and swim laps against drive.

Speaker 4 I'm excited to kick off my UK and Ireland tour this weekend. I'll be in Dublin this Saturday, March 15 at 3 Arena.
Belfast for two shows at Waterfront Hall on March 16. First show is sold out.

Speaker 4 We added a second show. Manchester at AO Arena, March 19.
London at Ovo Arena, Wembley, March 20. Glasgow at Ovo Hydro, March 21st.
Nottingham at MotorPoint Arena, March 22nd.

Speaker 4 Cardiff at Utilita Arena, March 23rd. Go get your tickets at tomsegura.com slash tour.
I'll see you there.

Speaker 9 Mike.

Speaker 6 They say money can't buy you happiness. That might be true, but money sure can make you feel a lot of other things like stressed, guilty, overwhelmed.

Speaker 6 That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns.

Speaker 6 Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert.

Speaker 6 Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich.
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Speaker 6 Acorns Advisors, LLC, and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com/slash whamh.

Speaker 6 If you're like me, your mornings follow a familiar routine with coffee being essential since it's the one thing I absolutely need to jumpstart my day every day. I need it to be perfect.

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Speaker 7 Okay. Ryan, do you swim?

Speaker 38 I swim as a kid. I'm pretty good.

Speaker 24 Okay. Oh, that's what you said about basketball.

Speaker 7 Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 4 Do you want to swim? Will you swim laps for 10 G's? And neither of you has to give it up. I'll give it up.

Speaker 7 However,

Speaker 10 I would if I don't have to pay for the coach's time.

Speaker 50 I pay thousands of dollars for that shit.

Speaker 4 I'll pay for the swimming coach, too.

Speaker 55 Wow. I'll pay for the swimming coach.

Speaker 4 I'll pay for a swimming coach, and I'll put the 10 grand up and I'll give it to whomever wins.

Speaker 38 And I won't have a swimming coach. You won't? No, I don't need one.
Okay.

Speaker 6 This is fucking this is amazing.

Speaker 52 I won't either.

Speaker 3 I only did because I figured you would.

Speaker 6 But you don't know how to swim anymore.

Speaker 38 Because you figured I would know.

Speaker 4 Wait, do you not know how to swim?

Speaker 18 He's black.

Speaker 7 Not like that.

Speaker 7 I don't know how to swim.

Speaker 25 Ain't about not knowing.

Speaker 10 It's maybe about

Speaker 38 a swim instructor to learn first and then not a coach.

Speaker 19 Like, we'll both cease the coach. Figure that shit out.
Let him figure it out.

Speaker 24 Let him figure it out. Let him figure it out yet.

Speaker 56 Every water activity I've invited any to, he does not come.

Speaker 24 Surprise, nigga. He does that.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 52 I wonder why.

Speaker 56 But we planned a boat trip together. He's like, I'll help you pay for it.
And then he just didn't come.

Speaker 38 Remember when I took everyone out on the boat?

Speaker 50 I remember he came up.

Speaker 7 And he didn't show up.

Speaker 10 He's like, oh, I overslept.

Speaker 29 What are you talking about?

Speaker 24 I went on the boat.

Speaker 38 No, the day. No, you didn't.

Speaker 24 Not for my birthday.

Speaker 50 Not for the birthday, but

Speaker 24 no, but for the boat you rented, I went to the lake with y'all.

Speaker 57 Did he? Yes.

Speaker 25 You're just not that good.

Speaker 18 See, this nigga ain't got a bad man.

Speaker 7 Okay, okay. All right.

Speaker 55 Yes, $1,000 coming out your boat.

Speaker 25 We will continue this.

Speaker 4 Let's move to the next thing here. Because this is

Speaker 4 nothing

Speaker 4 gives me more joy besides watching that take place

Speaker 4 than

Speaker 19 upsetting and horrifying someone.

Speaker 4 Stavros came on.

Speaker 23 Yes.

Speaker 21 This was an episode

Speaker 21 7-Eleven.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 we showed him Norm's famous poutine.

Speaker 4 And it was

Speaker 23 one of my favorite things that I've ever seen.

Speaker 49 This was

Speaker 4 so great.

Speaker 53 Yeah.

Speaker 26 Cheese. No.

Speaker 43 Change.

Speaker 18 No.

Speaker 18 Change this. No, I don't want to do that.
It stresses me out, too. Fries,

Speaker 58 cheese.

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 26 Pig shit.

Speaker 58 And pig piss. Ooh, gonna be a treat.

Speaker 9 No!

Speaker 11 You ready?

Speaker 26 He's got a little cage.

Speaker 14 He paces through the cage.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Which it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's

Speaker 18 no, dude.

Speaker 24 No, mix it up.

Speaker 41 Make sure all the funny things are covered.

Speaker 26 You gotta have all the ingredients.

Speaker 18 I take back what I said about his recipe.

Speaker 18 I don't want to. No!

Speaker 9 Oh, no!

Speaker 9 No!

Speaker 9 Oh, no!

Speaker 9 Oh, fuck!

Speaker 9 No!

Speaker 29 Look, dude, that's disgusting.

Speaker 18 That fucking sucks so much.

Speaker 14 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 13 Why did it come out so fast?

Speaker 9 Why did it come out so fast? So gross!

Speaker 29 Jesus Christ!

Speaker 9 I literally...

Speaker 13 I don't even gag easy, dude.

Speaker 18 That shit is fucked up.

Speaker 9 No,

Speaker 33 I don't want to watch me eat it.

Speaker 18 Don't eat it, Norm, please.

Speaker 18 I beg you, Norm, don't eat your own shit.

Speaker 18 Look at this gooey turret.

Speaker 9 Oh my god.

Speaker 55 So bad.

Speaker 18 I'm gonna fucking why the fuck did it come out so fast?

Speaker 6 Okay, why it was that was just oh god, it's stressing me out to re-watch that.

Speaker 4 I know it's also getting me primed for YMH Live. I just realized we're gonna get more treats like this.

Speaker 6 Did you get the zing of excitement?

Speaker 4 Yes, yeah, I know because every time that heavy segment starts, I'm like, ooh, these clips get me so jazzed.

Speaker 19 I might be sick here in a second.

Speaker 6 That's why I think you and I are cheating jeans. May I take this moment to just promote my lipsticks? This is a perfect time.

Speaker 2 Perfect time.

Speaker 6 Go ahead, guys. Buy your lipsticks.
Or would like it. ChristinaP.com.
Today I'm wearing Madison, which is just like a light mauve sensation. And then I have Atomic Red, The Perfect Red, and Berlin.

Speaker 6 ChristinaP.com. Buy all four at the same time for your lady or for your gentleman.

Speaker 58 Gentleman.

Speaker 6 That wears lipstick.

Speaker 6 By the way, I'm working on a new piece of art.

Speaker 23 Oh, for fuck's sake.

Speaker 6 It's really good.

Speaker 24 Look at that.

Speaker 23 Stop buying her art.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 6 it's taken on a life of its own.

Speaker 6 People are now sending us art based on my art, like famous art.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 6 It's great. It's really a movement.

Speaker 23 The choke.

Speaker 6 Anyway, that was an amazing time with Stavros.

Speaker 5 It was incredible.

Speaker 4 Soon after that, by the way, it finally happened. It was something that we were all anticipating.
We didn't know if it would ever happen, and that's when Garth Brooks blocked me finally

Speaker 4 on Instagram. You, by the way, the great fans, the listeners, and viewers of this program are the ones who got Garth to eventually go private on his accounts.

Speaker 4 He restricted all comments at some point because you literally took over all of his social media.

Speaker 26 Destroyed it.

Speaker 4 Destroyed it. Everywhere that it exists.

Speaker 16 Destroyed it.

Speaker 4 You destroyed it.

Speaker 4 It was incredible that it happened, but it started with him blocking certain people, restricting comments. I got a few times where I had comments in there and they would get liked and commented on.

Speaker 4 And then it just, it all went to shit.

Speaker 4 He just refused to allow anybody in. He eventually, it happened on Instagram.
Then you guys went over, took over his Facebook, his Twitter. He basically realized there was nowhere safe.

Speaker 4 And so that was really exciting.

Speaker 6 He's breaking down the walls between us.

Speaker 25 He's breaking down the walls between you and me.

Speaker 2 And then he thought better of it.

Speaker 4 In episode 725, something

Speaker 4 which also is appropriate for this week, which is that we had Dan Soder on. Dan Soder is not just an incredible comedian and he's super talented in many regards.

Speaker 4 He also does what many people think is the best impression of Dave Chappelle. Yes.
He can actually, he really sounds like him.

Speaker 4 And he just, he sounds like him and he also has the

Speaker 4 like, not just the cadence down, but he'll speak the way, like things he would say. It's pretty fucking impressive.

Speaker 28 That's really cool.

Speaker 4 What's the, I haven't heard you do it, but you do a good Chappelle.

Speaker 59 Oh, yeah. We, we prank phone called Chappelle on Legion of Skanks.

Speaker 15 We called him?

Speaker 59 No, we, we pranked phone calls.

Speaker 59 Sorry, we prank phone called a news, a Fox News producer that thought Lewis, Jay Gomez, had given her Dave Chappelle's number, but she had given her Dave Smith's number.

Speaker 59 It's on YouTube in this part of the episode, but I was just at home playing video games, and they were like, hey, can you call this lady as Dave Chappelle? And she fucking bit, dude. She bit hard.

Speaker 59 And it was like,

Speaker 59 I was trying to just keep talking about how important Lewis was to comedy.

Speaker 59 And I would just add different things in where I'd be like, I've heard he's got a very dangerous foot fish. I wouldn't show you toes if I was around him.

Speaker 59 And she was like, oh my God, I think I was wearing open-toed sandals.

Speaker 18 I thought she was talking to Chappelle. That's great, man.

Speaker 4 That's amazing.

Speaker 4 Were you always doing him?

Speaker 59 I mean, I'm a massive Chappelle fan. Sure.
In 2012 at the cellar, I got blackout drunk and hung out with him.

Speaker 59 And I was like telling him old bits he hadn't done on any specials and i think it freaked him out and and i've stayed away from him ever since ever since because i felt that moment where i was like i think i think this is a lot too much i was like do you remember you used to the what white people eat bit was so much longer and he was like man you know my bits better than i do but he did have i had the coolest moment possibly ever in stand-up speaking of cigarettes at the cellar that night he got off stage and he coming he came and hung out at the table and he was sitting next to me holding a cigarette and i was like i always want to know what kind of cigarettes i've been like i've been going to see you since i was 16 yeah i just want to know what kind of cigarettes you smoke and he was like oh i smoke american spirits and he handed me one yeah i was like this is we're at the table at the olive tree yeah inside and i go oh you want to go smoke a cigarette and he goes smoke right here and i go well

Speaker 59 I can't because I need this place for rent. But you're Dave Chappelle.
You can smoke here if you want to. And he goes, you can if Dave Chappelle lights your cigarette.

Speaker 59 And I looked at Esti, and Esti went, like that. And I took, and I swear to God, by the third drag,

Speaker 59 every waiter and bartender was staring at me like, fucking soda gets to smoke inside.

Speaker 29 And I was like, this is fucking unbelievable.

Speaker 59 And I took a couple hits and I put it in the

Speaker 59 ashtray.

Speaker 31 And Esti was like, dang.

Speaker 4 I did, when I did,

Speaker 49 was it the after?

Speaker 4 Yeah, the after party of the Brady Roast, we went up to the lounge inside, and we're in,

Speaker 4 what's it called? What's the venue there?

Speaker 18 The forum where you at?

Speaker 4 The forum. We're in the forum.

Speaker 36 So we're at the forum club, I guess.

Speaker 4 And it's just, it's the party. And I see Dave, and

Speaker 4 he's like, hey, man, you know, let me get a cigarette. And I give it to him, and I was like,

Speaker 4 same kind of thing. I was like, we can smoke it here.
He was like.

Speaker 4 So I was like, yeah, cool. So I light one up with him.
yeah and then the bartender's like you can't smoke here and i was like okay

Speaker 4 and i just turned to dave i was like they said we can't smoke here and he was like

Speaker 4 so i i was like i'll put this out when you put it out and he's like i'll put it out when it's done i was like okay cool i was like great yeah smoked i like chuffed on that thing because i kind of felt bad because i was like please and then i just waited until he was done smoking well because there is a level of celebrity like you're going to tell Dave Chappelle.

Speaker 4 It's the top tier level.

Speaker 6 You're going to tell Dave. It's like, you're going to tell Tom Cruise to put the single walk in.

Speaker 16 Well, they kind of do.

Speaker 4 That's the thing is the guy didn't tell Dave. He told me.
Yeah. He's like, you can't smoke here.

Speaker 6 And I was like, but that's why he's like, fuck, I don't give a shit.

Speaker 31 I'll tell you. He's right there.

Speaker 6 It's wow. And also watching that Dan Soder clip makes you realize like when you meet your idol, when you meet your hero, there is nothing cool.

Speaker 6 to say like you cannot talk about how much you love them because it's not going to work It's never going to work.

Speaker 6 You have to talk about anything else except the shit that they've done as like an artist or whatever. You can't.
You just can't.

Speaker 28 You can't dork out on them.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But the cool thing is, though, that he actually has a great, he still has a great memory of it.

Speaker 16 Of course.

Speaker 4 You could have, I met my hero and it's a fucking disaster.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, that wasn't that.

Speaker 6 That's why I don't want to meet Robert Smith from The Cure. Oh, for fuck's sake, Robert Smith.
But if you wanted to dress like Robert Smith.

Speaker 48 Oh, stop.

Speaker 48 I can't believe you would even want to see something like that.

Speaker 9 Roberts. I mean,

Speaker 4 he doesn't look good.

Speaker 6 He does.

Speaker 6 He's still beautiful.

Speaker 4 This is how women are different, though. I love Robert.

Speaker 4 Is that you guys

Speaker 4 can still find someone attractive?

Speaker 4 Even if it's not looking that great.

Speaker 6 Yeah, because you know why? We have souls, and we're not superficial shitheads. I know.
You guys are the worst. Men are the worst.

Speaker 21 Yeah, we are like, I don't give a fuck about her soul.

Speaker 19 You guys are the worst. What's up with that tit sitch?

Speaker 6 Yeah, let me leave this family and go bang a 20-year-old yoga instructor. See, he's so hot.
He's cute.

Speaker 53 I love him. Forever.

Speaker 35 Forever. Okay.
I love Robert Smith. That's what you want.
Yep.

Speaker 6 Dude, he's so cool, too.

Speaker 4 I get that he's cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he is cool. He's rad.

Speaker 6 But I mean, I think he's a solid citizen, too.

Speaker 24 Is he wearing the perfect red?

Speaker 6 Of course he is. It was based on Robert Smith's red.

Speaker 22 The perfect red.

Speaker 6 I should send him some.

Speaker 49 Do you like his voice?

Speaker 6 Love his voice. Of course.
What are you talking about? Yeah. No, he's Robert Smith.

Speaker 35 He's like the father of all this. I love him.

Speaker 4 I love him. Yeah, he's definitely wearing a lot of lipstick there.

Speaker 35 Yeah. Eyeliner.
He's adorable.

Speaker 4 Course. You want to see me an eyeliner?

Speaker 34 Do I?

Speaker 6 For fuck's sake. I would love to.
Black eyeliner.

Speaker 36 Let's move on.

Speaker 4 The next episode that I think is notable:

Speaker 4 our former producer, Nadav, passed away.

Speaker 45 That was super sad. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He was,

Speaker 4 I think, eating a dreidel, and then he

Speaker 53 just

Speaker 23 fell down.

Speaker 23 But

Speaker 6 rest in peace, Nadav.

Speaker 4 We hope you're okay up in heaven.

Speaker 4 It's just really sad

Speaker 49 that he's dead.

Speaker 9 I know.

Speaker 6 I miss him.

Speaker 58 I miss him too.

Speaker 6 Look at those tits I used to have.

Speaker 31 Those are my OG tits. Yeah.

Speaker 24 God, they were big.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Today, I was at my house and I was like, why do I feel sad? This is weird. And I was really sad to lose Nadav.

Speaker 6 You've been in our lives like, yeah, since 2016, since the birth of our first child, but you were like our first retired child.

Speaker 4 We do have a lot of great memories of you, and we've actually put together a little

Speaker 60 video.

Speaker 1 Oh, is this either going to make me cry or mad?

Speaker 18 What's going to happen?

Speaker 9 It's nice.

Speaker 4 I think we should all watch this together.

Speaker 16 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 My name is Nadav Itzkowitz. I am a producer here at Wymage Studios.

Speaker 6 Get ready to have a good fun show in Hames.

Speaker 18 Arba Shalosh.

Speaker 50 I'm fucked You don't think he's okay?

Speaker 1 You think he went to work the next day?

Speaker 24 I think he's totally fine.

Speaker 1 You can't get too much cum in those balls.

Speaker 18 You get too much cum in your bladder.

Speaker 7 Wow.

Speaker 24 What amount of money will you pay to permanently hurt me?

Speaker 4 I don't want to permanently hurt you. I want to do that.

Speaker 18 You just want to hurt me bad. One.

Speaker 18 You ever fall in love to dog?

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 38 What were the attributes that person had that made you fall in love?

Speaker 46 I think it was talking shit to me.

Speaker 9 You surround yourself with such people.

Speaker 5 What is your favorite movie?

Speaker 60 So the story is about Nick Cook.

Speaker 4 He got a nice haircut.

Speaker 16 Oh yeah.

Speaker 4 I threatened to show you somebody getting very severely hurt.

Speaker 46 Yeah, I don't like those, dude.

Speaker 14 Me neither.

Speaker 37 It's the hardest I've ever heard an adult laugh.

Speaker 38 That's the hardest I've ever heard an adult laugh.

Speaker 9 I am a fucking jewel.

Speaker 15 Lord knows I'm not a fan of this J shit.

Speaker 18 What's your new name going to be?

Speaker 19 Patty O'Callaghan.

Speaker 6 Let's get Nadog baptized?

Speaker 25 The fun bit.

Speaker 23 You need some up dog.

Speaker 26 What's up, dog?

Speaker 24 Hi, Mosh.

Speaker 25 What's up with you, dog?

Speaker 11 You're fucking dead.

Speaker 6 You want to kill him?

Speaker 19 I'm sorry.

Speaker 26 I'm sorry.

Speaker 58 Just an outside dog who keeps shooting inside.

Speaker 49 You deserve it all.

Speaker 4 The kicks, the screams, the blood.

Speaker 6 Look, and he's having such a good time.

Speaker 18 Look how happy you made him.

Speaker 18 The dog too bad.

Speaker 19 Why does he have a job?

Speaker 7 Hurry, you have to find that shit. You fucking Jew.

Speaker 11 Oh.

Speaker 41 Oh.

Speaker 6 That's pretty cool. Yeah, he is.
So many great moments with Nadav.

Speaker 31 So many good ones.

Speaker 6 My favorite part, I have two favorite memories about Nadav. Number one, that his favorite movie, like the movie he watches over and over, is Drumline.

Speaker 4 Yeah, sorry, Nick Cannon, yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and I watched it just to see what all the big stink is. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's not very good. It's not a good movie.
It's not a good movie. And I love Nick Cannon.
I like the idea. It's stupid.
Number two, remember when we were

Speaker 6 in

Speaker 6 the Resita, it was during...

Speaker 6 COVID and it was hard to come by getting the vaccine and you had to be a certain weight to be considered morbidly obese to get the vaccine early.

Speaker 6 And he was like, I'm working on my vaccine weight. I'm going to become morbidly obese to get the vaccine.

Speaker 13 Remember that?

Speaker 4 I'm in a gain phase right now.

Speaker 34 That made me laugh so much.

Speaker 6 And he would be like, how you doing? How's your weight?

Speaker 31 He's like, I'm almost there.

Speaker 6 God bless him.

Speaker 4 Rest in peace. Rest in peace, Nadav.

Speaker 24 God bless him.

Speaker 4 There's a, oh, another one that was fantastic. And I ended up meeting her was, remember the coffee girl?

Speaker 16 Of course.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so the sweetest.

Speaker 4 Oh my God, that was also in the last hundred where she came in here because we had read comments where people were that's where hate from came hate from Australia, hate from all these places in the world.

Speaker 4 That was just like unbelievable that we got. And then I actually, she came to Austin, she came in studio.
I went to the gym with her. She was really, really sweet.
And she's in Toronto.

Speaker 4 She has her coffee business, but that was

Speaker 2 the sweetest.

Speaker 21 Yeah, was it Caitlin?

Speaker 6 Caitlin. She's so sweet.
And her coffee's fantastic.

Speaker 4 And she just made like sincere videos.

Speaker 31 Like, this is how I started my day.

Speaker 26 People were like, I hate you.

Speaker 16 Waking up. Yeah.

Speaker 6 She's so sweet. So innocent.

Speaker 4 It was really crazy, man.

Speaker 6 There she is.

Speaker 61 Sweetest. She's coffee for a living.
Let's get this day started on the right note and head to the gym. I'm about getting up bright and early like this when it's still dark.
The world is still asleep.

Speaker 61 That's sweet. It's quiet.
It really feels like a life hack. Like you're getting extra hours in your day.
So I love waking up early and getting some work in.

Speaker 61 I'm going to do some boxing and some bench press. I am super weak, so we got to build some strength here.
Following the gym, it is coffee time, baby.

Speaker 61 We're going to start by making a hot latte for Papa Street Brew, even though I have converted him to iced espresso's, but we're going to make an iced espresso for me, do a little outfit change, an outfit check for a video that we're going to post.

Speaker 61 And then it's time to sit in the office, do a couple calls and do some work, bonus points, find some clients you can talk sneakers with on your calls, because, I mean, that's the best way to do things.

Speaker 29 things, right?

Speaker 61 After spending most of the morning in Zoom calls and doing some admin work, it's time to start filming some content and making some more coffee.

Speaker 61 So, we're gonna do some drip coffee, some pour overs, some espresso stuff as well.

Speaker 25 I think we get other little things.

Speaker 4 So, it was that this is like that vlog cadence that also people wanted to die with. Yeah,

Speaker 21 please delete your account.

Speaker 4 He would say such mean shit to her, but she ended up being, of course, like the sweetest.

Speaker 6 The nicest, probably one of the sweetest guests we've ever had. Hate from Australia.

Speaker 5 Then we had

Speaker 2 so funny.

Speaker 19 She was delightful.

Speaker 4 We had a run of

Speaker 4 some incredible guests that came in, and Jesse Lee Peterson came in.

Speaker 18 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Then Gene Simmons, and then Will Blunderfeldt, one of the coolest guys.

Speaker 6 So many gets this year.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. It was just like...

Speaker 19 Just like the gays.

Speaker 45 Just like the gays.

Speaker 6 How much fun was Gene Simmons, too? I mean, he really came.

Speaker 4 If you love your penis, your self-esteem builds up.

Speaker 16 I mean, that's also true.

Speaker 6 Will changed my life. Like, getting to meet him in person and feel his aura and to feel his love and presence.
I just think he's such a special human being he is a special human being

Speaker 4 um

Speaker 4 then

Speaker 4 shortly thereafter that icp came on now that's one of the

Speaker 4 building blocks the foundations of this show that's right if you don't know is you know what i'm saying you know what i'm saying and we have all always done you know what i'm saying uh

Speaker 16 you know what i'm saying super customers you know what i'm saying you know what i mean

Speaker 4 and these guys came in or not these guys. Sorry.
This time, wasn't it just the, was it the both?

Speaker 36 This time?

Speaker 24 It was the bike.

Speaker 4 That's right. Because the first time it was just one.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, they came in and we got to do

Speaker 4 after their pants, their appearance, excuse me, the maybe

Speaker 4 the supercut of super cuts. Oh, my God.
Which was a, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 22 Yep.

Speaker 4 Supercut from these guys that was just...

Speaker 4 Unbelievable.

Speaker 4 They dropped so many, you know what I'm saying, that we had to

Speaker 4 spend hours going through this and putting together. By the way, this supercut of, you know what I'm saying,

Speaker 4 doesn't even have all the, you know what I'm saying? They had to like whittle it down just to get the proper, you know what I'm saying, supercut going. So we have that for you.

Speaker 24 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 You know what I'm saying? It's because of his hair. Yeah.

Speaker 15 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 18 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 14 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 15 You know what I'm saying? And

Speaker 15 you know what I mean?

Speaker 57 You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 26 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 57 You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean?

Speaker 15 You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 46 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 16 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 26 You know what I mean?

Speaker 52 You know what I'm saying? They're incredible. You know what I'm saying? This is what I'm saying.

Speaker 46 You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean?

Speaker 15 Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 18 Gay.

Speaker 57 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 47 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 7 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 9 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 18 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 46 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 57 You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 29 As a stripper, or anything.

Speaker 15 You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 57 You know what I'm saying? But

Speaker 18 that's what you're saying.

Speaker 26 Unbelievable.

Speaker 16 Wow. That was, yeah, that was really.

Speaker 6 You know what I'm saying? Super cuts of, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4 That's the best one. I don't think you can make another one after that.

Speaker 6 No, that episode was explosive. We also got that supercut, but don't forget, that's where we learned that going airtight is gay.

Speaker 4 It is,

Speaker 4 according to some.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, that's, you know, airtight really was a thing that we really wanted to dig deep in.

Speaker 4 We've had conversations with people who had had threesomes, and we thought, what more could could you want and it turns out one more is what you want sometimes and so

Speaker 9 some women opt for every hole to be plugged

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 4 and through that conversation it led to us meeting airtight Abby and Abby

Speaker 4 called into the show and she

Speaker 4 gave explicit details about her exploits and she was a very adventurous person.

Speaker 6 Was Abby the one where she went and she had sex with all the black guys?

Speaker 24 That's the one.

Speaker 6 On the team?

Speaker 4 Yeah. That is the one.
That was wild. Then she told another story that kind of made us all sad.

Speaker 24 But yeah,

Speaker 4 I think she met a guy at the club and she took him back to the

Speaker 4 or went back to his place. And then eventually people started walking out of the apartment.
And they're like, can I get in on this?

Speaker 3 She was, sure.

Speaker 4 But Airtide Abbey was, yeah, it was a good idea.

Speaker 16 What a find. It was such a cool story.

Speaker 6 Because you and I couldn't believe that people did it in real life. Yeah.
Because it sounded so good.

Speaker 4 It sounds like such, you know, adult film-like. Yeah.
Like, just fantasy, you know, not real.

Speaker 6 Who gets to do that?

Speaker 4 I was like, no, I did it. I did it.

Speaker 6 This generation, boy, they get it all.

Speaker 21 They get it all.

Speaker 4 Airtight Abby. Airtight.
Really, really sweet girl.

Speaker 4 I had the opportunity to meet her.

Speaker 4 You did.

Speaker 36 You don't remember that?

Speaker 58 No.

Speaker 26 Oh, yeah. I didn't.

Speaker 6 You didn't go airtight on her?

Speaker 21 No, I didn't.

Speaker 22 I didn't.

Speaker 23 No.

Speaker 4 There was an option to meet her somewhere. I did it.

Speaker 6 You were like, no, thanks.

Speaker 4 No, I believe you said no thanks.

Speaker 6 I was like, don't you meet airtight out.

Speaker 35 That's how that went.

Speaker 14 How dare you? Yeah.

Speaker 20 Just a jealous lady.

Speaker 4 No, she's, I'm sure she's, I'm sure she's a sweetheart, by the way.

Speaker 6 But the best moment with these two, the ICP guys are the best. Yeah, I was like, you guys don't go airtight with each other? And he's like, what?

Speaker 29 Hell, no, that's gay.

Speaker 4 Such a good moment. There's so many

Speaker 4 crazy. things that happen obviously over the these these years.
But another thing is that, you know, we had our suspicions, but we had learned that our

Speaker 4 very own technical director, Enie, is a really high-level sociopath.

Speaker 45 Because

Speaker 4 Fartgate 2024 was such a revelation. I've never seen, like, the episodes of the first 48 that I've seen all made more sense

Speaker 4 when Ennie was pressed with a crime because he was so believable. It was just insane.

Speaker 6 And it turned out he was just a huge fucking liar he's a lot and he's a good liar good one because i was siding with him for the for years i've been on any side not anymore bro

Speaker 7 fool me once i did nothing i know that whole time i was like

Speaker 4 you know how fucking crazy ai is these days i was like man what does chad have against him like it was just crazy to me yeah and what it what chad had against him is that and he's a fucking liar

Speaker 6 and chad was right yeah chad was just being an honest good boy and the whole staff was like yeah and then and he was like man these motherfuckers are all lying yeah this is yeah do you realize like we got we have him on tape farting yeah and then he has the audacity yeah to deny it to his bosses and then to millions of people who watch this program yeah that is other level it was sociopathy it was huge which is exactly why you're employee of the month and he also he did this crazy reveal along here where like remember the video played and i thought we were going to

Speaker 18 exonerate him?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 4 And it was just like, ha ha, I got you guys.

Speaker 29 Well, this guy is neat.

Speaker 6 He's out of his fucking mind. And here's the...

Speaker 3 Who made that shit, man?

Speaker 20 Yeah. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 6 Okay, we don't believe you.

Speaker 56 Didn't he deny it even after he showed that video?

Speaker 24 Didn't he bring it up to the next video? He's an Army Party, Tom.

Speaker 3 Denying it. I'm still denying it.

Speaker 4 Denying it to your face right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I wouldn't do that, bro.

Speaker 25 Bros, look at AI, bro.

Speaker 3 We don't know what the fuck is real anymore.

Speaker 24 I didn't do shit.

Speaker 3 It's not that good, and I don't know who hired that shit, but it's ridiculous, man.

Speaker 56 But I saw it with my own eyes.

Speaker 24 I'm done with it.

Speaker 56 I don't see in AI.

Speaker 4 Is this when we first saw this video?

Speaker 36 Is that what this is?

Speaker 3 Oh, no, this is the video that you're talking about.

Speaker 4 The surveillance, the surveillance or the his reveal.

Speaker 19 This is his reveal.

Speaker 53 Okay, okay.

Speaker 4 Yeah, let's see. It's, I forgot some of it, actually.

Speaker 6 Yeah, blocked it out. Dramatic.

Speaker 7 What the fuck?

Speaker 62 Is that you?

Speaker 62 Or me, any part of that?

Speaker 62 I think Ennie just farted into the mic.

Speaker 30 Oh my gosh, this is crazy.

Speaker 24 This isn't crazy, though. Well, and he's still rolling.

Speaker 30 Oh, Jesus. Jesus Christ, bro.
Giving a new meaning to gas walls.

Speaker 62 What was being said?

Speaker 4 Hey, you're talking over the video, man.

Speaker 30 Is that real?

Speaker 7 Is what real?

Speaker 18 What happened there, Ennie?

Speaker 37 What do you mean?

Speaker 37 Bro, it's all narrated.

Speaker 3 This is what Chad does. He's a fucking

Speaker 7 documentary.

Speaker 3 He's a fucking documentary film professor.

Speaker 21 In what way did I narrate this?

Speaker 3 You put the text on the thing. It's black video.
You played it.

Speaker 56 I'm transcribing the actual audio.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but what you're doing is setting it up so that it makes sense to your story, but it's a not true story.

Speaker 24 And you're just fucking putting it out.

Speaker 4 So was that fart, did that fart happen in that moment or no?

Speaker 3 I mean, see, the thing about these is like, I don't remember.

Speaker 51 I don't even know what recording that was.

Speaker 56 Yes, he does. Here's the thing.
He went in and deleted this audio, but what he doesn't know is that I back up the audio onto a separate hard drive that he didn't have access to.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so you just happen to have the footage that both you edited and this backup.

Speaker 4 Zolo, you don't remember this day?

Speaker 63 I think I need to stay a neutral party in this matter until all the evidence been presented.

Speaker 4 Okay, but you did hear yourself in there.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I was there. Yeah, but your honor...

Speaker 6 I feel like because we didn't see the conversation that any has a good point, like anybody can go...

Speaker 55 You can just play a fart.

Speaker 24 He played a fucking game.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and then he could have had them be actors, see him standing up and create a moment.

Speaker 56 And Cougar would say, holy any fart for no reason.

Speaker 6 Let's think maybe he wrote the script and then they recorded it over

Speaker 7 the black screen.

Speaker 18 But that wasn't Cougar.

Speaker 4 So this, yeah, this, if you watch this and you don't immediately have more respect for what law enforcement goes through,

Speaker 14 like

Speaker 4 they have to deal with this shit

Speaker 7 all the time.

Speaker 24 Yeah. Like he

Speaker 24 lies. Like professional.
No, no, I know.

Speaker 6 That's part of being a good criminal is lying. And post-script to this whole thing, now any apparently just farts with reckless abandon

Speaker 28 all the time. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Do you even take

Speaker 6 credit for the farts now?

Speaker 33 What farts, bro? Oh my god.

Speaker 3 Put me on tape, fam. Get me on tape, please.

Speaker 24 We had it on tape. Get me on live.

Speaker 4 You put yourself on tape doing it.

Speaker 25 No, I didn't.

Speaker 16 That was AI, bro.

Speaker 3 You know how good AI is these days.

Speaker 19 This is crazy.

Speaker 31 It's compulsive. Yeah.

Speaker 6 He cannot help himself with the lies.

Speaker 6 You can't help yourself, can you, you sicko?

Speaker 10 Fart gate was a

Speaker 6 fart gate, and then the lying about what the bet was on the last thing we talked about. Like, oh, I said it was 10 or any amount of money.

Speaker 36 Oh, then this is him right here, just going,

Speaker 6 yeah.

Speaker 10 Like, where is that?

Speaker 3 That ain't my house.

Speaker 3 That ain't what my house looks like.

Speaker 37 See you next week. Bye, mommy.

Speaker 37 Did you fart?

Speaker 30 No. Who farted? Did you hear a fart?

Speaker 30 Wow.

Speaker 9 Jesus.

Speaker 15 Yep.

Speaker 56 Because you always talk about how disrespectful it is, like all the time. You're like, it's so disrespectful to fart.

Speaker 4 He loves that line. Yeah.

Speaker 10 He's like, the level of disrespect.

Speaker 24 What's this accent?

Speaker 18 Hey, yo.

Speaker 14 Hey, yo.

Speaker 7 Hey. Hey, yo.

Speaker 4 he's like hey man hey man we disrespect brother like that shit ain't nice this is crazy this remind that right there that

Speaker 4 what we just saw yeah if that doesn't remind you of presumed innocent the incredible debut of edward norton as an actor with richard gere where he's accused of killing that priest and then you and he's like

Speaker 4 he's all fucking you know yeah

Speaker 4 the whole movie and then at the end he's like i convinced them all didn't i and you're like oh my fucking god

Speaker 23 it was exactly like that.

Speaker 4 Give him his Oscar, give him his Oscar, or just sentence him, sentence him to 25 years in prison, yeah, because that's a fucking career criminal, right there.

Speaker 6 What is he doing in his off time? Don't you think if he's lying this much to his employers?

Speaker 4 He's probably doing foot job review videos.

Speaker 6 I don't know, it's just

Speaker 6 crazy, crazy, yep, typical, typical,

Speaker 7 typical. What?

Speaker 24 Typical any

Speaker 18 lies,

Speaker 4 usual suspects, you know.

Speaker 47 Oh, there it is.

Speaker 11 Oh,

Speaker 6 shit. Hey, I stood up for you.
You saw it on tape.

Speaker 24 Man, you were part of the bit.

Speaker 11 No, I wasn't.

Speaker 49 You were part of the bit.

Speaker 6 Oh, eventually, yeah. He told, he admitted.
Sorry, I forgot to tell you that part.

Speaker 47 Yeah, hold up now, bro.

Speaker 6 Because I was like, any, they're totally, because we were off, this is off camera. I was like, any, they're totally,

Speaker 6 they're totally gang up on you. Is this true? Like, I was so doe-eyed, and I came up to him, and he was like, yeah, fired it.

Speaker 2 And I was like, what?

Speaker 6 And I was shattered, right? Do you remember that day? I was fucking shattered.

Speaker 24 I'm kind of shattered now that you were smiling.

Speaker 7 I was shattered.

Speaker 6 I was heartbroken. And then I was like, let's keep fucking with Tom now.

Speaker 6 I forgot.

Speaker 4 Sorry. I plugged it out.
You just remembered right now. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Cool.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Just like that time when you left town and I put a hole in the wall to get the hamster out of the walls behind you at dinner. It's two sneaky things I did this year, too.

Speaker 4 And then there's

Speaker 4 Chris Larson's video came in.

Speaker 64 Ice cold Pepsi.

Speaker 4 Cheers. He's the only Pepsi guy here.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Crazy. Nobody likes Pepsi except for Chris.

Speaker 55 It's so funny. Fuck water.

Speaker 64 I don't care if he kills me.

Speaker 7 You should.

Speaker 64 Doctor said, drink water.

Speaker 7 Yeah, drink water, dummy.

Speaker 64 He loves Pepsi. Guess he quit smoking.
Fuck that.

Speaker 64 I do what I want.

Speaker 21 She kills me, kills me. You got free will.

Speaker 30 You can't do that. Those are big gulfs, too.

Speaker 6 I need Pepsi, even though I get diabetes.

Speaker 18 Give a fuck.

Speaker 64 Doctor said, drink water.

Speaker 64 Fuck that.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but I would see people like him in radiation.

Speaker 24 They don't hold up very well after treatment for these things.

Speaker 6 You don't want to start your life that way.

Speaker 29 It's crazy.

Speaker 4 You know, we've been sharing those haircut videos.

Speaker 6 Oh my gosh, you and I have been passing each other these videos, these awful haircut videos.

Speaker 4 You know, Andy Milanakis, right? Yes, of course. So he's been around forever.
He still looks 13 or whatever.

Speaker 4 He's done a lot of funny shit, but I saw this.

Speaker 4 Oh, haircutting place. He's in Italy.

Speaker 44 This is it.

Speaker 44 Hello, how are you doing? Do you guys have any appointments open for tonight? Yeah?

Speaker 39 that. Okay, thank you so much.

Speaker 8 How many prefer the cuts?

Speaker 44 Well, I just got a haircut like a couple days ago, but they didn't cut enough. I want to keep it shaggy, but maybe a little less fluffy.
Maybe like three or four inches in the back.

Speaker 46 Check.

Speaker 44 It's still really shaggy on the front, but it's not really long on the back. What is your job? My job is to be a clown.

Speaker 39 A clown? I'm a hired clown.

Speaker 4 So wait, so he's in Italy, clearly, like walks into a place, tells him what he wants. Hold on.

Speaker 6 Oh my god.

Speaker 53 He's like, you're a beautiful woman.

Speaker 4 He gave her the fucking middle-aged administration lady at a public high school.

Speaker 28 Terrible cot.

Speaker 6 And he thought it was a lady.

Speaker 24 That's how he likes it.

Speaker 25 He goes, I like when he sees it. He goes,

Speaker 11 this is interesting.

Speaker 6 Sucks so bad.

Speaker 20 Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 That's all you can do.

Speaker 41 Good.

Speaker 26 Thank you.

Speaker 26 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 9 Perfect.

Speaker 16 Perfect.

Speaker 4 Nice lady.

Speaker 11 Merila.

Speaker 42 This fantastic

Speaker 39 piece.

Speaker 18 Oh, shit. That's the worst haircut.

Speaker 55 That's the worst.

Speaker 28 It's like the helmet.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 26 It's terrible.

Speaker 4 It's the sad lady, shut it down.

Speaker 25 Fucking hair.

Speaker 6 The shut it down menopause cut. This is why I stick with the same hairdresser.
Alan Martinez, shout out for the last fucking 20-some years.

Speaker 6 You know, one time when I was in England, I couldn't see Alan and I went in to get a haircut and I was like, just like a Bob, like I've always had a Bob. Just give me like a shorter Bob, okay?

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 6 This fucking cunt rag cut my hair like, meow, like the

Speaker 6 like so like a mushroom meow, like this fucking short.

Speaker 25 The thing, you don't realize it till you see

Speaker 4 how much hair informs.

Speaker 6 It's everything.

Speaker 4 Like this looks like a sad lady, right?

Speaker 16 Like that's what he looks like now.

Speaker 6 He didn't know know that was a boy.

Speaker 31 He's really crazy.

Speaker 6 He didn't know that was like a gentleman.

Speaker 16 No, he didn't.

Speaker 31 He had no idea.

Speaker 6 He gave him the prettiest old lady.

Speaker 4 Melissima, you are sexy to steal. Don't let anybody tell you you are not.

Speaker 6 But also, very rare that they straighten out curly hair unless you say, I want straight hair. He's naturally wavy.
Yeah. They should have cut the hair wavy.

Speaker 58 That's crazy.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 2 That's so upsetting.

Speaker 4 You remember a few weeks ago we were all, the whole world was really taken by this, right?

Speaker 54 Hitler, hell and the the Nazis.

Speaker 62 I really don't think that he was because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research.

Speaker 6 My own research. It's always your own research.

Speaker 4 I didn't fucking listen to it.

Speaker 20 So he's

Speaker 4 we were all like, this is the last we're going to see of Bryce Mitchell.

Speaker 16 It's not. Thank God.

Speaker 4 He is out there and

Speaker 6 he

Speaker 19 keep going, Bryce.

Speaker 4 The best thing is that this begins with what you believe is addressing this video, right?

Speaker 8 And everybody is just totally talking shit about me because of how stupid I am. Let me explain myself a little bit better because this is what I meant by what I said.

Speaker 8 And I think nobody's going to disagree once I explain it.

Speaker 8 I stated that you can prove the Earth don't rotate because you can take a helicopter, hover it at 20,000 feet for 24 hours and come back down in the same spot.

Speaker 8 Now, everybody said, oh, a helicopter has inertia. I know what inertia is, dude.
I'm not stupid. Let me tell you what I I mean.

Speaker 43 Here is

Speaker 8 a picture of the circle of the Earth, supposedly, if you believe in a globe. And the red circle is the helicopter.

Speaker 8 When the helicopter ascends above the Earth's surface, it now has a larger flight path around the Earth. As in when the Earth, the inside circle, the black circle, does one full rotation,

Speaker 8 the red circle, or the flight of the helicopter, actually has to cover more distance to get back to the same spot. What?

Speaker 6 A helicopter can't fly around the earth. I don't understand what this fucking hillbilly is saying.

Speaker 8 That's what I meant, okay? If you don't understand geometry of spheres and circles, that's going to go right over your head. But what I said

Speaker 18 is perfect sense.

Speaker 8 And I'm actually a lot smarter than a lot of y'all think. Some of y'all can't even keep up with me.
That's the sad part. This is basic geometry.

Speaker 8 Some of y'all might not be able to understand what I'm saying. Yeah.

Speaker 26 I'm one of them.

Speaker 8 But God bless you. And keep doing your own research because there is no proof that the earth rotates.
That's a lie from the devil.

Speaker 8 And keep thinking what you want and calling me stupid, but I know geometry. I know inertia.
An object in motion stays in motion.

Speaker 8 If I put my foot up your ass, it's going to keep going up your ass until I stop it. How about that, buddy? Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's cool that his little kid gets to hear this stuff, too. Well, he's going to be

Speaker 4 going to to get that first-hand education.

Speaker 6 You know, you got to do your own research, Tom.

Speaker 4 It's always good when somebody leads with that.

Speaker 6 Your own research.

Speaker 4 Have you done your own research?

Speaker 6 Like, just internet stuff? Like, weird articles?

Speaker 4 Nothing about life on earth makes me think that it's round or rotating.

Speaker 6 Why are they so against the earth being round? What is that?

Speaker 4 Because they told us that.

Speaker 2 Something they told us. They were scientists and

Speaker 4 just trying to get us to fucking believe stupid shit.

Speaker 6 Is it anti-Christian or something?

Speaker 16 The Earth being being round?

Speaker 36 He said the devil at one point.

Speaker 6 Oh, so Satan's in charge of the roundness of things of the earth. Is that what it is? Maybe.
That's so weird. I don't know why they don't.

Speaker 4 He's so content, though. That's the thing about being dumb.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That is like it's really, I think, satisfying. Is that enviable? You believe your own dumb thoughts, and then you're so pleased with yourself.

Speaker 6 You know, you know, I thought about that for my whole life.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 6 If I could just be a little dumber, how much happier I'd be.

Speaker 16 You or maybe,

Speaker 7 yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Yep.

Speaker 4 It's, he's, um,

Speaker 4 he's not the brightest guy, but yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, and it says

Speaker 6 the earth is a circle. Isaiah 40, verse 22, whatever.
Made with a compass. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Laid upon a face which is bounded. As it ends, it does not move and is covered by a dome.

Speaker 6 Oh, so this is like the biblical conception of

Speaker 6 cosmology, whatever. It's silly, though.

Speaker 41 This is.

Speaker 19 That's my own research.

Speaker 6 I hate everything.

Speaker 4 Do your your own research, bro.

Speaker 6 Do your own research. Draw your own diagrams, fucking dummy.

Speaker 4 Do your own research.

Speaker 4 That's kind of like the

Speaker 4 that's usually like the first thing that people who are really dumb

Speaker 6 with. They do their own research.

Speaker 31 I do my own research.

Speaker 6 Like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 31 Anyway, I can't.

Speaker 6 I can't, Tom.

Speaker 6 Can we switch topics here for a moment?

Speaker 60 I want to know what I've ever noticed.

Speaker 6 That kind of makes you think of

Speaker 6 Stevie. I think it is Stevie.

Speaker 60 yeah yeah no he sounds like where i get my name snake from

Speaker 54 i ain't afraid of him

Speaker 60 never have been except whenever i was a kid yeah

Speaker 60 yeah yeah this is people gets mad they get over it you know they

Speaker 54 realize stuff later on down the road do your own research yeah yeah

Speaker 4 yeah he also had this this is another one What's your issue with seatbelts?

Speaker 54 Seatbelts, I think it's just like a like you get to choose if you want to wear a seatbelt.

Speaker 54 The government doesn't, you know, they don't wipe my ass for me and they don't, they shouldn't be able to tell me if I want to wear a seatbelt.

Speaker 54 I personally don't like them because I think what if you got to jump out of the car and roll, you know, duck and roll. Okay.
Nobody ever thinks about that. Nobody.

Speaker 54 So I don't personally wear a seatbelt, but I grew up. My mom never wore one.

Speaker 54 I just don't believe in them. And it's not up to the government to decide if I should wear a seatbelt or not.
So that's just my view on it, and that's why I don't wear them.

Speaker 54 But maybe, you know, I strap my baby in, you know, I strap Tucker in.

Speaker 35 Why?

Speaker 54 But I just don't like wearing them. I like the maneuverability.

Speaker 28 Maneuverability.

Speaker 4 It's crazy, too, when someone this dumb is this good at fighting because he can kick 99% of people's asses on earth. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So it's like you could argue with like the dumbest fucking guy you've ever met and then he could just kill you.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 6 But that's because God only gives you one or two talents, Tops. You can't be all things.
You got to choose one or two lanes and just stay in your lane.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 6 You shouldn't be a podcaster if you're the stupid.

Speaker 14 You really can't.

Speaker 4 I'm glad that he's putting this out there.

Speaker 4 I feel like this is going to be a real well of information.

Speaker 24 If he continues,

Speaker 6 I think he's going to. If he gets sponsored.

Speaker 4 The engagement is going to be, it has to be crazy for him.

Speaker 22 Sure.

Speaker 36 Of course, it's not that positive, but yeah.

Speaker 4 But you do see, though, that a lot of people are on board with him.

Speaker 18 There are people who are like, fuck you.

Speaker 49 People trying to tell you the earth rotates.

Speaker 7 Fucking bullshit.

Speaker 6 The man telling me to wear a seat belt.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Well, good for him.

Speaker 4 What if you got to stop, drop, and roll? Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 Stop, drop, and roll. What if the car rolls? Is he driving like the Jeep with no doors?

Speaker 33 Is that what he's thinking about?

Speaker 28 I don't know. You got to tuck and roll.

Speaker 6 Oh, I wanted to get to this so we don't run out of time on it because it is a timely topic and I wanted to go there because the mom world is ablaze with the new Ilaria Hillary Baldwin

Speaker 6 Alec Baldwin show on TLC. Now, I haven't watched a full episode, but I thought we could go through some of the footage.
I mean, look how handsome he was when they started together.

Speaker 21 Dating, yeah, a while ago, yeah.

Speaker 26 Yeah,

Speaker 58 seven children, seven six animals.

Speaker 33 What? Three parents.

Speaker 6 How many nannies?

Speaker 31 Don't be in that pool.

Speaker 65 Gross. What's the matter?

Speaker 33 Happy face.

Speaker 6 A son lost his mom in the most unthinkable tragedy. This is never something to forget.

Speaker 41 Oh, and I'm trying to parent through it.

Speaker 27 Honestly, from the bottom of my soul,

Speaker 48 I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you and these kids.

Speaker 65 It's okay to ignore him.

Speaker 65 We've had bad moments, but we found our foundation.

Speaker 6 She says you should look like this

Speaker 6 We're solid and we're here together

Speaker 55 together

Speaker 35 Together

Speaker 6 pero together

Speaker 6 He looks like hot dog shit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean he doesn't look the same.

Speaker 25 He's also how old is Alec Baldwin?

Speaker 4 He's got to be in his 60s, right?

Speaker 6 Is he in his 60s now? At least, but he was can I tell you about the great tragedy?

Speaker 60 He's 66.

Speaker 6 He's 66 years old. I know, but the great tragedy is how hot he was.
I mean, I had

Speaker 6 such a crush on him as a teenage girl.

Speaker 16 He's a movie star.

Speaker 6 The marrying man, I think, look him up in the movie The Marrying Man.

Speaker 4 Alec Baldwin, 1989.

Speaker 25 Oh my.

Speaker 25 God.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Kim Basinger, Basinger, the two of them were together.

Speaker 4 That's right.

Speaker 6 God damn, couldn't there be a more attractive couple?

Speaker 45 Yeah, he's a very good-looking guy.

Speaker 25 Stunning.

Speaker 4 He was

Speaker 4 he played Jack Ryan in that, you know, those

Speaker 2 guys. Tim with the scarf.

Speaker 6 This is so cute.

Speaker 11 No, the whole, all the Baldwins are hot.

Speaker 6 Good-looking guys, man. And then I think having seven kids on top of this accident thing must have just aged him in dog years.

Speaker 4 And he's really good, by the way. Not just a good looking guy.
He's a really good actor.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 21 He's done.

Speaker 5 Oh, of course, Beetlejuice.

Speaker 6 Beetlejuice. My favorite.
And he's got a great voice, that gravel voice. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 48 It's like he speaks and like that.

Speaker 31 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 He narrates on that Wes Anderson, the ten and bombs. Look at that chest.
Hairy chest. Oof.

Speaker 48 That's a man right there.

Speaker 15 Yeah, dog.

Speaker 21 I'm looking at that.

Speaker 4 And the right underneath it says Alec Baldwin mistaken as a hobo.

Speaker 25 You know what that is? That's life.

Speaker 4 That's how life

Speaker 4 actually goes. There's a certain link that says, hottie, Alec, and this one says, mistaken as a hobo.

Speaker 26 Mistaken as a hobo.

Speaker 6 Yeah, he's got it rough. There he is with Kim Basinger in the 80s.
Wow.

Speaker 18 Yeah, but beautiful. Beautiful couple.

Speaker 4 You know, you can't judge the guy for his looks at 66.

Speaker 24 I can.

Speaker 53 All right.

Speaker 25 I can.

Speaker 4 I mean, I know, but he's 66.

Speaker 6 I just think it's bad life decisions. I think that that having seven children would age anybody.

Speaker 26 Of course it would.

Speaker 6 It's not cool. It's too many kids.

Speaker 4 I don't know why you keep having that many kids.

Speaker 11 It's too many.

Speaker 18 I know. It's insane.

Speaker 6 And by the way, how many nannies do they have? Give me a fucking break that it's just the two of them. The 66-year-old dad and her.

Speaker 57 What can the tiny 66-year-old dad contribute?

Speaker 6 You can't do shit.

Speaker 25 It's basically grandpa.

Speaker 24 Of course.

Speaker 6 It's too much.

Speaker 6 Yeah. He can't even play.
So my friend, my mom friend.

Speaker 4 We're all going to nap. That's what's going to happen in that.

Speaker 18 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Alex's dreadful reality show is a noob low for TV. Fucking A, man.

Speaker 6 But that, you know. But they don't like the good stuff we do.
Like, my husband is not gay. They probably low reviewed that show, too.
I'm SSA. I'm SSA.

Speaker 20 They don't know what they're talking about.

Speaker 6 Don't listen to these motherfuckers. So anyway, my mom friends were texting me.
Would you like to hear their review?

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Let me show you what my friend fucking.

Speaker 4 What are the moms saying out there?

Speaker 6 In the mom world.

Speaker 6 Okay, because we

Speaker 6 keep up on the Elaria. I watched watched it yesterday.
It's on Max. You have to watch.
There are babies crawling up on tables, kids running around screaming. It's a madhouse.
It's a madhouse.

Speaker 6 It's got to be. And then my other mom friend was saying there's this part of the episode where he's complaining to Ilaria

Speaker 6 that she's the one in charge of getting the kids going. She's in control of the kids.
And he's like, I used to have a say in how the kids were. I don't have a say anymore.

Speaker 6 And she's like, well, yeah, I'm the mom. Yeah.
And I fucking agree. It's like,

Speaker 6 go work go make the money go do this let me deal with the kids yeah because dads are not wired for that i agree what what meds does juju need to take it yeah right whatever you say what size are juju's pants 16.

Speaker 6 you don't know i know and that's just most dads no it's just our generation especially alec baldwin's generation he don't know about the kids yeah let him go to work yeah

Speaker 6 And let the fake Latin lady run the house.

Speaker 6 Women are better at that stuff.

Speaker 24 I I agree. I agree.

Speaker 6 Guys, this is not for men. Not for you.

Speaker 4 You run,

Speaker 4 that's the company.

Speaker 24 You run that company.

Speaker 6 That's right. We're more traditional.
I think the traditional way is fine.

Speaker 18 Unless you have some fucking beta cuck husband.

Speaker 48 He doesn't want all that say. Nobody gets that.

Speaker 6 Nobody fucked. Men don't want to do it.
No. He doesn't want to raise the kids.

Speaker 4 People had asked, by the way, they wanted to know the update for the woman hitting my car.

Speaker 16 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 I wanted to tell you,

Speaker 4 without getting into too much detail, it's being taken care of okay stupid bitch and i by that i don't mean that i'm letting it go i'm not letting it go and that's how it's being taken care of okay

Speaker 4 so um what is this um so we all we did make some

Speaker 4 we i don't know if you want to say it or not but we made a little bit of progress in your investigation of brigitte macron yes and

Speaker 4 Do you want to say that we reached out? You say it.

Speaker 17 Well, we reached out

Speaker 6 to Brigitte. No.
Just kidding. To Candace Owens.

Speaker 4 Who you said is like the leader in this.

Speaker 6 Of course. This is Candace Owens' big moment right now.
She is exposed, Brigitte Macron.

Speaker 6 And as you know, Candace is pregnant right now, so I think flying in might not be doable for her. But we're arranging...
a Zoom interview so she can fill us in on this Brigitte Macron thing.

Speaker 6 And I'm telling you, the Macrones are panicking. They're sending her, you know, hundred-letter

Speaker 6 threats and all this. It is real.
And none of them being like, hey, Brigitte is a woman. Stop saying that.
That's not true. They're not even trying to call her out on that.
It's very exciting stuff.

Speaker 15 Please do not use gendered language.

Speaker 6 I miss all that.

Speaker 4 So we'll find out what the real story is here. Yeah, it's huge.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 What's your pronoun?

Speaker 28 What's your pronoun?

Speaker 62 Yeah. What's the pronoun? Queering out the women.
They were queering out the dudes.

Speaker 4 That's what happened. So hopefully we'll get the full story soon.

Speaker 2 I can't wait.

Speaker 4 But just let us say this now as we wrap up: that

Speaker 4 it has been the most fun, I think, of our careers that we've gotten to do this show.

Speaker 4 I never want to stop doing YMH.

Speaker 4 This is episode 800, and I hope we're doing 800 more of these.

Speaker 31 It's been a lot of fun.

Speaker 6 And thank you, you guys, for making this possible. Thank you so much.
This started as a silly dream in our little house in Silver Lake with a neighbor that made smelly food through the walls.

Speaker 6 And we've moved it to every house we've been to, and you guys have come with us, and we really appreciate that. It's been amazing.

Speaker 18 It's quite a ride.

Speaker 4 It's been amazing. We look forward to doing it more.
And hopefully, we'll see many of you on March 7th. YMHStudios.com.
YMH Live is back, and we'll see you soon.

Speaker 7 Bye, Jeans.

Speaker 3 This is big time.

Speaker 4 Who is Randy?

Speaker 6 Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Speaker 1 Your mama and the funk is stare.

Speaker 26 Welcome.

Speaker 52 Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Sidora

Speaker 7 and Christina Princess K.

Speaker 38 Welcome to your mom's house.