Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Hey Hitlers this week the Main Mommies got some stories for you! They took a trip to Sedona to chill out, they tried out a sound bath, Tina farted in somebodies face, and o'l Tommy Bunz even tried DMT, cause why the fuggg not? We open the show with a clip revealing Victoria's REAL secret, before Tim and Christine check out some clips featuring the talented whistler Ralph Giese, another funny way to say Bert Kreischer, the dangers of holding in farts, and some white ladies standing up for black women. Speaking of black chicks, who are you more afraid of: black chicks, cholas, or white boys? They also speculate on why the service industry isn't as strong post-COVID and Christina makes a plea for Candace Owens to come on to discuss the conspiracy theory about the French Prime Minister's wife being a man. All this and more...this week on Your Mom's House!
Your Mom’s House Ep. 798
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://christinap.com/
https://store.ymhstudios.com
https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:45 - Sedona Sound Bath & The Queen Of Farts
00:08:49 - Try It Out Tommy
00:17:14 - Opening Clip: Victoria's REAL Secret
00:21:10 - Clip: Whistling The Hits
00:24:12 - Clip: Bert Kershire
00:27:11 - Clip: Danger Farts
00:30:40 - Clip: Trust Black Women
00:32:44 - Clip: BIPOC Anthem
00:35:16 - Clip: Charo Disney Employee
00:36:13 - The Service Industry
00:43:59 - Clip: This Guy Really Hates Guy
00:58:35 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru Pranks
01:01:54 - Clip: Jaden Smith's Castle Hat
01:02:26 - Goth Tom
01:04:35 - Clip: Spirit Airlines Throw Down
01:06:08 - Black Chicks, Cholas, & White Boyz
01:14:46 - Clip: Eye Witness News
01:17:08 - Clip: Are You Dating A Misandrist?
01:19:28 - Clip: Open Defacation TED Talk
01:23:33 - A Message To Candace Owens
01:30:44 - Some TikToks
01:34:30 - Closing Song: "10 Milli Tom" by Rick G
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Transcript
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Just like, just like you.
Just like the gays.
Just like the gays.
Just like, just
like the gays.
Tommy, would you marry your son?
Uh, yes, of course.
My god, I wish I could.
Tommy, would you marry your dad?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, of course I would do it.
Christina, would you marry your son?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you marry your dad?
Yeah, of course.
I live for this kind of shit.
Yeah.
Just like, just like.
Just like the gays.
Just like
just like the gays.
I feel good now.
You got it.
Just like the gays.
Just like, just like.
Would you marry your mom?
No.
I think I'd marry my dad.
Christina,
would you marry your mom?
I don't know.
Please.
No.
Would you marry your dad?
Yeah, of course.
For sure.
Yes.
Yeah.
I really would.
Like, just
like the gays.
Like, just cops.
Cops like the gays.
Like, just cops like the gays.
This is so good.
Would you marry your dad?
It's an appropriate song for some of the subjects today.
Man.
Man, today's going to be just rocking.
We're on fire.
We're rolling.
There's so much to get into.
There's so many interesting stories that some might not even expect that are going to be discussed today.
Some revelations, things revealed in the world.
I'm so excited.
The third apocalypse, the third eagle of the apocalypse.
Satanic.
Revelations.
Isn't his show, something like that?
Yeah, the third eagle of the apocalypse.
William Tapley
often talks about it.
Vote for the Donald.
He is the man.
Yeah.
The third eagle.
Yeah.
And he's always in front of those birds.
So upsetting that he won't reach out to us.
I know.
It's like
we support him.
We support his platform.
We're all about his stuff.
I wish he'd fucking get it.
I love you.
I miss you.
You've been gone for so long.
Yeah.
What?
No, I know what you're doing.
You're thinking.
You're thinking about something else?
Yeah, I was looking at something on the board there.
But
yeah, it's been very busy.
You have a very busy time.
A week?
Now you're back.
Now I'm back.
Before that, we went to
Polly.
I'm by.
We went to Sedona for a little getaway to get away from our children.
That was awesome.
That was amazing.
Sedona is a beautiful place.
It is a high-vibration place.
The aliens, there are vortexes.
I visited a vortex alone.
You did not join me, but that's okay.
And we went on a spiritual journey.
It was a spiritual journey.
And
we even experienced a sound bath.
I enjoyed the sound bath.
Did you?
This was your first one.
I loved it.
You did.
I really did.
Did you go on a journey in your mind?
Actually, yes.
Tell me where you went.
Can you share with us?
No, but what I'll say is that I'll say what I told the sound bath lady, Echo, is that
she was like you know just let yourself go where it goes and I went everywhere I had you go into space I went into space but I mean I had thoughts like there was times I was thinking about our kids thought about you friends feelings like it was a it was a real visual kind of journey that I let the sound kind of guide me.
What did you think about us?
Were you like, how do I murder?
How do I kill?
How do I conceal the bodies?
No.
Because I feel like that's a reprieve from what normally goes on in your brain, which is, I mean, yesterday I was watching the new Bridget Jones movie.
Yeah.
And you came in and you were like, that's chick stuff.
And I'm like,
how did I say it?
This stupid ass k chick stuff.
Yeah.
And you were disappointed because there's no murder.
Yeah, I was like, who gets killed in this?
And you were like, nobody.
I was like, oh, I don't want to watch this.
Yeah.
Because I'm like, what goes on in your mind all day is what goes on in there.
so it was a sound bath must have been a pretty crazy thing for you it was enjoyable though i really enjoyed it yeah it was like the i don't know it probably how long will it last 30 minutes something like that maybe an hour okay it's probably the only hour i didn't think about death
in a long time yeah you know what i liked is she had so i don't know if you've ever done a sound bath people here but it was fucking cool it's so fun because they have different sound different sounds like one is like a rain so see that
you scroll up there, that second lady with, so it's sort of like that setup.
She had all these types of instruments, right?
Objects that would make chimes.
And then you lay down, you cover your eyes, which I'm a big fan of.
I love eye covers.
And you have a, you're, you're comfortable.
Yeah.
And then sounds begin.
Well, hold on.
Echo told us that was our lady, our sound guide.
She before notified us that she would be calling in, remember this, spirits from other dimensions to assist us on our journey.
And I was like, Well, hold on, I didn't authorize that kind of stuff.
The interesting thing is, some of those spirits sort of sounded like Mexican kitchen workers that were in the room next door.
I was like, Wow, are the sound spirits named Jose and Maria?
Well, that was the fatal flaw of our sound bath: it took place in a conference room in a hotel.
And every now and then, somebody would open the door.
Open the door.
Oh, esoteric!
He said, Oh, okay.
I closed the door.
And we were like, oh, okay.
Kind of took us out of the moment and the dream.
But then I would lose myself in it again.
Yeah.
It's easy to get back in.
And I like the sounds.
They sound like little twinkles, like twinkle.
And then she walks around you.
Yeah, so you would also get real loud.
Doom, doom, doom.
Whoa.
And then you'd hear it fade to the next person.
Yeah.
And then I was so worried you would fart because
it's at a higher altitude, Sedona.
And we all had altitude farts.
But somebody was kind of the leader in that department.
Do you remember who that was?
Is it me?
That was you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Tell us.
Tell.
Well.
I like that you're supportive of my.
I wouldn't call it support.
It was
probably the boldest thing that I don't even know if you were aware that you did it because it was so offensive
that somebody was outdoors reading a book by a fire pit, clearly in just the most relaxed enjoyable state this woman
was
happy she was at peace she's reading outside the climate was it was cool but it was it was it was nice the fire and she's reading a book and you walked right next to her and farted in her face you farted in her face and your your ass was at her face level and you just were like hope you're enjoying the book i did like right in her face basically And that she was just went like.
Did she really do?
Yeah, of course.
She was like, that's your interpretation of what happened.
For me, it was just, I was trying to impress you, trying to get on your level.
Did you notice her before you did that?
No.
Yeah.
Did not.
Don't care.
It's my vacation.
This was my time in Sedona.
I was connecting with higher vibrations.
Vibrations are what she felt, too.
I didn't know.
And I honestly did not know that I farted on a woman.
It was, it merited an apology, just so you know.
Really?
Absolutely.
I did not, I did not know.
I'm so embarrassed.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh.
Now I feel bad.
Yeah, well, yeah.
I did not know that.
I really didn't know that.
You farted in her face.
Yeah.
She, her whole week got ruined.
Yeah.
What did she look like?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This is not my fault.
Thank you for bringing this up, Josh.
He just googled that gas and bloating at high altitudes are common and can be caused by a number of factors, including lower air pressure, trapped gas, and swallowing air.
It's not my fault, is what I think Josh Zolo is trying to say.
Thank you so much for being here.
I mean, you pushed it out.
It wasn't like, oh, how did this happen?
You know, you pushed it out.
I wanted to impress you.
What's so bad about wanting your spouse's approval?
That's our love language, baby.
That is true.
That is true.
I really enjoyed Sedona.
I like that you and I did that.
And then you went on a little bit of a psychedelic.
I did a little extra journey.
I met a cool local named Sage.
And they have the coolest names there, Echo, Sage.
And I smoked DMT with him.
What?
Just a stranger at the place we were staying at.
But that's Sedona.
Yeah.
And I got to say, visual journey.
Tell me about it because I've never done that.
I've never done that.
I was scared as shit.
I was scared too.
And he was like, no, dude, you're not.
Because I was just thinking, I always compare like something like that, anything that's presented to me, like mushrooms,
or like ayahuasca, anything, I always think of edibles.
And I'm like,
man, you know how a strong edible will fucking like wreck you?
Yeah, dude.
So I was like, that's all I keep going.
That's my, for whatever reason, that's my reference point.
I was like,
I was like, oh, man, because people talk about like breakthroughs and, you know, these journeys.
I'm like, is this going to be like a
fucking 200-milligram edible?
He kept saying, no, but like, also, like, yeah, but, but prepare yourself.
You know, I was like, all right.
And I, I, I was worried about it and um
i was like fuck and so we sat by this fire pit there was no one farting and we just sat there what's the point i know
and then he i guess dmt pure dmt has a lower burning point what does that mean um that
like the you don't need high flame for it to yo i didn't even know you light it like crack
I mean, I didn't think of crack.
I thought.
How do you take it?
It's like a pipe?
Yeah, I put it in a pipe.
Oh, my god, dude.
Like opium or fucking crack?
Yeah, so he was like, you know, you ever smoked crack?
And I was like, yeah.
Who hasn't?
And so what they do is they put the DMT in
they pack it around weed so that the weed kind of
finds it.
What does the DMT look like?
Is it sticky like opium?
It's white.
Yeah, like crack.
Like crack.
Like crack.
Like crack.
Yeah.
Dude, you smoked rocks, bro.
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There it is.
What?
What is DM?
I don't even know what that is.
It's just like cool crack.
Okay, so it's sprinkled in with pot so that you get, see, that the pot alone would make me crazy.
Can you do it purely without you?
I guess you can, but I think it burns easier if if you have the, that's what I was told.
All right.
I'm not the I was too scared to touch it.
I know.
You were like, do you want to go into the forest with this guy I met?
Yeah.
Do DMT?
I was like, no, I don't.
They got DMT pens now.
Yeah, they got DMT pens.
I'm scared.
I've never, yeah.
This is my first time.
So I've been offered the pens before.
I haven't done it.
But anyway, he was like...
you know he's like get naked and i was like okay and um he's like you know i'll sit on your lap this will make you relax Yeah.
So once we got
sexual massage.
He's kind of like, but no, no, totally not sexual, actually.
Just like
perennial, like you just rub each other's prostate and you're like, all right, I'm ready.
I'm ready.
And then
this Will Blunder film there?
No, no, no, no.
Not like that.
But then, so we kiss a little bit and then he gives me the pipe.
And
wait, his name is Sage.
Yeah, he goes,
take three hits.
Three hits.
Yeah, he goes, the first, first, after the second one, you're not going to want the third one, but you need the third one.
That's what he says.
But you need it.
You're not going to want it, but you need it.
Yeah, I was like, okay.
So I pulled the first one.
He was like, ooh, that's a good pull.
And then I was like, gosh, shit.
And then second one, he's like, and now the third.
Do that third.
Dang.
Okay.
And I did the third.
And
yeah, you go
like I felt like something was like holding you down in the seat.
Like I couldn't really move.
Sounds terrible.
And
you were in a chair.
Yeah, and so you're like, okay, so you're like, you go back in your chair, like, heroin kind of, and you're like, and you feel heavy?
Yeah, kind of, yeah, yeah, kind of heavy in the head, and I couldn't open my eyes.
Um,
did that scare you?
No, because the visuals were started to become like really in your brain.
Like, you're popping in your brain.
Yeah, you're seeing
like neurons and stuff.
All kinds of shapes and colors.
And,
you know, I saw a bunch of like, i saw this red caterpillar that had like fire going around you're not telling me telling me no i swear a caterpillar yeah a red one like the alice in wonderland like fire red yeah that's tight yeah and things were like moving and then bones that were turning in circles and then i was like really enjoying it and then one time he was uh oh we did it a second time so then he was like i don't know if you really got the full thing let's do it again so we did it a second time and he put more in there and then on the second time i was really like whoa, seeing all this shit.
And then he goes, wait, after I was over, he's like, what'd you see there?
I go, why?
He goes, you went like this.
I was like, oh, he was watching you?
Yeah, he was watching.
He goes, I go, there was a blue dragon that kept like trying to bite.
He goes, yeah, because you went.
And then the next day when I saw him walk around, he went.
Did he cup your balls to comfort you?
Yeah, he was just like, come in my hand.
That's what I did.
Because he gave you drugs that floored you, and then he was watching you fry, like watching you take a journey.
Yeah, that doesn't sound remote.
He was jacking off.
So that's what he was.
Shit, we haven't even opened the show.
Hold on.
I've got so many more questions.
Well, those are the end of your questions.
Here we go.
Let's open the show.
I'm outside Victoria's Secret.
The secret is that I just took a diarrhea in the dressing room because I ate too much orange chicken
at the Panda Express.
So good.
I get it.
I love that entrepreneur.
Welcome to your mom's house.
With Tom Sagura, Tom Sutsu.
Christina Pajitsu.
Welcome to your mom's house.
Mount, Mount, Mount, Mount, Mao, Mount.
Mount, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Bam.
I didn't even tell you what happened to me in my vortex.
Yeah.
Did I?
So I went to a vortex.
In Sedona.
It's a spiritual location in Sedona where you get downloads and, you know, your high vibrations.
And I didn't get any.
But I got to see a bird fly at like my eye level, bro.
Like a fucking black crow.
It was like chilling like right there.
And I was like, oh, that was worth it.
That was terrible.
Have you ever seen a fucking crow fly like right at your fucking eye level?
Yeah, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
I was too scared to do the drugs, but I tripped out on a fucking bird, bro.
It was was like talking to me.
He was all, he's all, let go, bitch.
I asked Sage for more DMT.
I'm not digging that stuff.
Yeah, I was like, send some, bro.
Because you know what?
I've done LSD in my formative years.
Yeah.
I don't know why I'm whispering.
I don't know either.
But
I don't need to see stuff anymore.
Okay.
That's fine.
But that's, I'm happy for you.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Did you learn anything?
No, it was just like, it was a nice, but it was a good experience.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it.
Yeah, it was the opposite of scary.
That's nice.
That is nice.
It wasn't scary.
Okay.
Okay, so this, this, I have so many thoughts about this opening clip.
Yeah.
I mean, first of all, orange chicken at Piana Express.
The secret is that I just took a diarrhea.
That's Victoria's secret.
I understand she's in a mall, clearly.
She went to the food court.
Yeah.
Get it.
Why not find a toilet?
I've had diarrhea in the mall here at the domain.
One time I was at Free People and I felt diarrhea coming on.
You know what I did?
Yeah.
I left and I looked for a toilet and I found one.
Yeah.
Malls have toilets.
So my question is, was she trying on a thong?
I don't think so.
I'm looking and I don't think it was a thong.
I don't think she's trying on stuff at Victoria's.
I think she went in there just to shit in the dressing room.
Shut the front door.
I mean, look at who does that?
Her?
You think that lays above shitting where she shouldn't shit?
But then is she shitting in her pants?
No, no, no.
She's pulling down her pants and then going into the room.
She went from Panda Express to Victoria's Secret.
First of all, this woman's a fucking menace.
Hey, what's wrong with those?
What's wrong?
What do you mean?
That's not the two-stop way to do things.
Oh, Panda Express, then go, I'm going to go to the lingerie store.
I don't think so.
You should flip the order.
Yeah.
You buy your lingerie first.
First, and then you fill up with diarrhea food.
Yeah.
Panda Express is so goddamn good, though.
Sure.
That orange chicken.
No one's mad at that.
God damn.
But she's gnarly.
That's the secret.
She has nice hair, Tom.
She has nice hair.
She has nice hair.
Have you ever sat in a
dressing room?
No.
I haven't either.
By the way, you want to do like a little vibe shift real quick?
Of course.
Okay.
I'm just here.
We'll give you something to like shift you into a seat.
There we go.
Here we go.
Oh, yes.
He's drinking Joe, too.
Wow.
Oh my God.
How long can he sustain that?
I don't know.
How do you do this?
Oof.
It's so crazy.
So I looked this up.
Yeah.
Because I don't know what's happening.
Sure.
It's throat whistling.
But I've never even heard.
Because whistling, typically you see people with their lips, right?
Like the sound.
He can whistle from here.
I don't even understand it.
I don't understand it either.
What a skill.
I don't understand how it happens.
I don't either.
And how he manipulates, I mean, how he manipulates.
Well, that's how he calibrates the sound.
Right, but how does it even start?
You know,
I was a blues man when this shit came out.
Rock and roll was so fucked up back then.
Right.
Whoa.
Oh, I love the song.
Guns and roses.
Oh, wow.
Holy sh.
I would pay
to see him do a concert of all my favorite songs.
I bet you can.
You think he could cover Bauhaus or The Cure?
Oh, wow.
I wish he would do Bella Lagosi's Dead.
That's a long one.
Okay, here's what it says online.
To whistle with your throat, also called throat whistling, you essentially
create a constriction in your throat by manipulating your vocal cords while directing a stream of air through a specific mouth position,
usually with a slightly open mouth and a flattened tongue near the bottom teeth, allowing the air to vibrate and produce a whistling sound.
This technique requires practice and precise control of your throat muscles and tongue placement.
And now, everybody, let's all see everybody try to throat whistle.
You try it, Tom.
Nobody.
Any?
No.
I can't do it.
Give it a shot.
Just try.
No, no.
It ain't there, bro.
What the fuck?
I don't know how you do that.
Yeah, I mean, this guy,
when you talk about unique talents for real,
there's nobody that can do a throat whistle.
I've never even met a throat whistle.
Neither have I.
None of my friends have ever been like, hey, you want to see some shit?
No.
And drop the throat whistle.
Nobody.
I mean, I've had friends that can do the two fingers.
And
that is awesome when people do that.
Yeah.
And it sounds like.
I feel like Bert can do that.
Doesn't Bert do that?
Or he goes like that?
Like he does that.
Bert
Kirshner?
Doesn't he do that?
What's up, everybody, man?
We are sitting here in the nola, the big easy
at Super Bowl 59, man.
The biggest event in America.
Sitting right next to Burt Kirscher.
I pronounce the last name, Bert Krishna.
Burt Kreiser.
Burt Kreisler.
Burt Kershar.
Just, he can't win.
That bitch
is fucking 15 years old now, and nobody's ever caught up.
Burt Kershire.
That's a new one.
We've heard so many variations.
Kershire.
Burt Kershire.
Nobody can get it.
And look at his face.
Bert's like, yeah.
Here we go.
At the Super Bowl.
I love that part of his head goes, I thought it was famous enough for someone to get it right.
It's amazing.
Burt Kershar.
Oh, fuck.
That's why I changed my last name from Pojinsky to P.
That was a good call.
By the way, by my lipstick, Christinap.com, you get, you get all four colors at the same time.
I'm wearing Berlin today.
That's the darkest.
Perfect red, atomic red, Madison Berlin.
Someone came up to me this weekend.
Yes.
Goes,
I never wear a red lipstick.
And I go, okay.
And she goes, I bought Christina's.
She goes, that's the only red that I've ever worn.
She goes, I love it.
Because it's the perfect one.
It is perfect.
It's not too chalky.
It's not too runny.
It lasts just the right amount of time, in my estimation.
So try it out.
ChristinaP.com.
Try it out.
Try it out.
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What else are they going to say to you?
Burkershoner.
Ah, fuck, I forget.
There is this fart thing that you might like.
Yeah.
That maybe.
I always like fart things.
Why should you never hold in a fart?
You know, a fart is a gas.
You know, it's a chemical.
It's a bunch of chemicals.
And when you hold in a fart, there's a percentage of that fart vapor.
which will diffuse through the walls of the colon, through the walls of the intestine, the colon, and eventually it will go to your bloodstream.
Oh, shit.
All the blood circulates and eventually goes to the lungs where the waste products are then exhaled out.
So there's a tiny percentage of your fart,
which if you hold it in, will go to your bloodstream, go to the lungs, and then be exhaled out.
So you will have to.
You're going to breathe it instead of farting it if you don't fart it.
You will exhale fart.
So you will literally breathe out fart fumes if you hold it in.
It's physiology, it's science.
Science, baby.
This is what we're here for.
That is horrifying.
Yeah, so you did that lady a favor.
I did her a big favorite.
Do you know that there's couples?
By the way, that's Chris.
Yeah.
And I did his podcast.
If you don't know, it's called Modern Wisdom.
Yes.
I just did it a couple weeks ago.
Very sweet.
I've met him at the mothership.
Really nice guy.
Yeah.
Super sweet.
There's couples that don't fart in front of each other and couples that hold in farts for years and years.
Can you imagine?
I know.
Or I've heard that, because I've heard people go, oh, when you meet somebody, I go, well, what do you do?
And they're like, well, you know, you excuse yourself or you leave.
I'm like, what if you have like a bunch of farts?
You just keep get up and you leave over and over.
That sad.
It's kind of weird, right?
It just seems like
a hard way to live your entire life with another person.
Excuse me.
Oh, any is one of these.
Don't you have, like, you have a policy, right?
A girl can't fart in front of you?
No, no, I didn't say that.
I thought you told me before that like you were completely against a girl ever farting in front of you.
No, there was a time that a girl burped in my face and I almost broke up with her.
So I was like, that shit ain't funny.
But no, I don't care about farts.
Also, that thing with the breathing shit don't make sense because how you going to not breathe in the fart when you fart?
You already breathing it in.
What do you mean?
Wait, what do you mean?
Wow.
So what are you saying?
What you're saying is if you fart...
If you fart, you already breathing it.
Oh, wow.
So you're afraid of
a partial breathing of fart that you didn't fart.
Oh, my God.
That's a no-win situation.
You You breathe in it regardless.
Well, look, you may as well enjoy the sound that the fart makes and laugh.
Why not have a laugh at the same time as you're breathing in farts?
Oh, speaking of farts, Tom, I remember you were hyped about
the fart walk, right?
Long time ago.
Yes, he can fart.
He goes
as you walk, right?
I was wondering if you've, if you've, the other day, I experienced, I think, the optimal fart walk.
What's that?
It's a fart walk downstairs.
Oh,
as you go down the stairs.
Yo.
Because as you go down,
you got to spread it for it, spread your cheeks further.
That's right.
Because it gets real musical.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The pitch changes more than a flat road fart walk.
Yeah.
I don't think I've had one.
I don't know if I've had one.
Oh, no.
I've done that.
Yeah.
The fart stair walk.
A fart stair walk is cool.
Wow.
I don't think I could relax enough to do that.
Sometimes too, if you go on, if you jog.
Oh, yeah.
So it's more of a fart jog.
Sure.
Also, the movement is a little more than a walk stride.
So you'll hear different pitches.
You know, it's pretty cool.
Yeah.
That's really cool, Tom.
It's very cool.
It's Black History Month.
And in.
Oh, any congratulations.
Oh, yeah.
Congrats, Eddie.
Thanks, guys.
In honor of you, our black brothers and sisters, we bring you this gift.
Oh, right.
Trust black women, they lead the way.
White women, stop abandoning your sisters.
Trust black women, they lead the way.
Oh, we're mad as hell.
Oh, can't you tell?
Can't you tell?
We're mad as hell.
Can't you tell?
We descend to fucking fashion.
So cool.
That's a great, that's in the Castro, it looks like.
Queering out the women.
They were queering out the dudes.
Yeah.
Hitler burned queer books.
You know, this comes right off the tail of
black and indigenous, Creole and Romani.
Do I sound like that?
Dude, yes.
I've been listening to it on a roller.
It sounds like it.
Yeah.
African Americans, Puerto Rican, and not the Jews, because nobody likes them.
Everybody else is included.
Creole.
Creole.
Romani.
Creole.
Before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the craziest sentence I've ever heard.
Before Hitler got on meth.
You know what?
It sounds like that.
Sounds like Stevie.
Yeah.
Old Stevie.
It's exactly Stevie.
Catsfish and Bash loves frogs.
I'm smart.
I know what's to do.
Yeah.
He sounds just like Stevie.
That's true.
Wow.
Wow.
This is a powerful song.
We got to learn.
Yeah, this one's really cool.
Follow your black sisters.
Yeah, that is.
It's funny.
It's always white ladies taking up this cause.
They always take up everybody else's cause.
The white ladies, huh?
Yeah.
These fucking ladies, these broads.
Do you think these broads fuck?
Oh, here we go.
Black and indigenous, people of color.
Black and indigenous.
People of color.
Lesbian, gay, by transgender, and queer.
Yep.
Lesbian, gay, by transgender, and queer.
Asian, American, Pacific, Islander.
Oh, Pacific Islanders.
Asian American, Pacific Islander.
Latino, Hispanic, Romani, Roman Creole.
Latino, Hispanic, Hispanic, Romani, Hispanic.
I don't just get regular Asians.
Just Asian Americans.
In this world.
She didn't say black, did she?
Yeah.
It was the first African American.
That was African American.
We all
have a place
in this world.
There was no Jewish mention, though.
That is interesting.
She mentioned everyone.
Oh, my.
I felt that anti-Semitism.
You wonder.
I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy.
That's kind of strange to list everybody.
She didn't list the Jews.
Yeah.
Or Palestinians?
Did she list Muslims?
I didn't hear that.
Wow.
She did not, Tom.
It's actually
a very not inclusive song.
Wow.
You specifically left out two very big groups.
Big, small groups.
Right.
Yeah.
She's so full of hate.
But she made it all about the gays.
It says about the gays.
The first part of the song is just about the gays.
And then she goes into the people of color.
Shameless.
But then she lumps in Creole with Latin and Hispanic.
Wait, hold on.
Latin and Hispanic aren't the same?
Aren't you guys all the same?
No.
What's the difference between Latin and Hispanic?
Well, here's a little geography lesson for you.
Latin encompasses Latin America, which is basically what you know as...
Not this America, I'll tell you that.
So like kind of further down south.
Sure.
And Hispanic would be Hispanola, like Spain.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Spanish people are Hispanicola.
I didn't know that.
I just lumped you guys all in.
Speaking your fucking dirty whatever.
Hispanics are not Latin.
Not European is what I called it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, there's Christina for you guys.
She did not include.
She didn't include my people.
Slovakian, Romanian.
There's a lot of people she loved.
Bulgarians.
Come on, man.
She's full of hate.
People are saying, by the way, speaking of Latins.
Yeah.
People are saying this is Charo at Disney.
Have you seen this?
That's her.
Nightmare.
That's me.
Do you like that picture?
Sit they don't outside.
Is that Charles?
No.
Your mom's way classier.
I'd like to say something.
I'm going to, and I'm, and I, I'm not a Disney adult by any stretch.
No.
Is this Disneyland?
This appears to be Disneyland, correct?
Not Disney World.
I think so.
I mean, last time we were at Disneyland, I felt that it wasn't indicative of a real classy Disney experience.
Like
these workers, the people they're hiring now are not upholding the Disney brand.
They're being rude.
They're being like too casual.
Welcome to the fucking new world, dude.
This is everything.
I don't like it.
This is everything after COVID, honestly.
You think, what is that?
It's just like they can't find people like normal people.
Yeah.
This is disgusting for you.
Imagine you're familiar with the people who aren't doing it.
You get these.
I'm serious.
Every fucking service person is dog shit now.
They're the worst.
Yeah.
And I'm talking to you.
If you have a job like that, you suck.
Tom.
No.
They're not all suckers.
They're all fucking losers.
No way.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, they are.
You guys are the worst.
Disneyland workers who flick their tongues out at you.
No, they suck.
She doesn't get included.
No, because when we took our boys to Disney last year, I noticed that, that the staffers are, they're not like upholding the...
the Disney vibe anymore.
Yeah.
That's terrible.
No, it's not the same.
It's not the same.
But I was making the comment more seriously about the service industry.
It is, it's totally different now.
Stop.
It hasn't bounced back.
Definitely not.
You don't feel that anymore.
Any type of like go to restaurants, hotels, airlines, every place that, like, there's.
Airlines are always atrocious.
But it's worse.
It's all worse.
It's way worse.
Airlines are garbage.
The hotels are worse.
Yeah.
Restaurants are worse.
Because I don't leave the house as much anymore.
Because people
left who had some of these jobs and they replaced it with the fucking B squad, actually, like the c squad yeah so that's that's who has the job now yeah yeah it sucks um we had a waiter um you remember the waiter yeah in sedona who like
how do i describe what it was like
it was like too much and he had like rehearsed he had bits he had bits i i hate the bits i hate the i've been a server at high like a high-end um french restaurant i've been a server i've been a cocktail waitress I've worked at many levels.
I know what the, yes.
And there's a way to give service to people where it's not disingenuous.
Like,
I could tell you didn't like that a bunch.
Or, like,
he had stock lines for everything.
I hated it.
As somebody that makes fun of people all the time, I can't mock those people in front of them.
Do you know what I mean?
Well, that's mean, yeah.
I don't, yeah.
Is it like just a nice thing that I'm doing?
Yes, because I can't, I sympathize with, and I, and I just go along and I, I, I never never mock them.
Um,
that guy,
man, it starts with
just like the approach to the table.
He goes, Oh, my God.
Hey, um, like, yeah, it's too much.
Jeff, I'm going to be taking care of you guys tonight.
Where are we in from?
Where's everybody coming from?
And right away, I'm like, oh, shit.
But I still go, I don't mock them.
I go, I'm coming from Austin.
Austin, Longhorns.
And you're like, yeah.
And he's like, what are we celebrating?
Whenever everybody tells me, what are we celebrating?
I always just go, dinner.
Yeah.
I don't know.
We're just here, guys.
It's fucking hula hands.
There's not to be a celebration.
Birthdays, anniversary, special occasion.
I'm like, just dinner.
It's evening.
We haven't eaten dinner yet.
And then he's like, okay, all right.
And then
he just runs through his bits.
And
got a little special something here off the menu.
Then he does like, oh yeah, there's like a seafood thing.
He's like, but it's not local because there's no ocean.
And you're like, no, I know.
We got the bit.
He's like,
flew it in, but I promise,
didn't come in last week.
And then he starts laughing at all his stuff.
And I'm like, and you have to go like
because there's no ocean.
No.
I know.
But
I can't mock him.
He's like Colin Robinson,
the emotional vampire for what we do in the shadows.
Like they, waiters can drain you of your life supply.
Yeah, yeah.
and he was and I'll tell you something as someone that's been a waitress He's a career waiter though.
He's he is and he provides excellent service.
We'll say like he did good the level of service was great like he totally did his job But I think when you become the the main character in someone's dinner You're also robbing that table of them just having an experience at a restaurant because now you're like the life of the party.
They don't need you to be the life of the party.
You're just there to bring their food.
He's doing his best.
That's that's the other thing.
I know, but as like I said, like he doesn't need to and every five seconds, you're like, pardon my reach.
Like, it's fine.
You don't need to pardon the reach.
Just get the cup out of my fucking life.
Okay.
And then they give 500 plates for one thing.
You know what I mean?
Like, just fucking, it's okay.
You don't have to come every two seconds.
Everything, okay, I have everything tasting.
Like, just shut the fuck up.
Don't worry.
Are you still good?
You still good?
Yeah, I'm fucking still good.
I'll let you know.
It's too much service.
And can I, what I learned in a French restaurant when I worked at a French restaurant, you know what they teach you in a French restaurant?
Is that when you're not bringing food to tables or waiting, you just stand in the room.
You stand up against the wall with your hands, you know.
Yeah.
And if they need you, they call you.
So you read people, right?
You read body language.
Yeah, you're just looking, you just look.
That's because you know what that takes, though.
Because I learned this about, I learned this from, so Acme Comedy Club is one of the best comedy clubs in the country.
So for people that don't know how the way, the way most comedy clubs work is
you're on stage, right?
You're performing.
Everybody has ordered, everyone knows about two drink minimum, right?
And then this thing that all comedians get to know, the check drop.
What that means is usually like 45 minutes into the headliner set,
every server will drop the check for the people to pay before the show ends.
And it always destroys the momentum of what you're doing on stage.
But most comedy clubs don't care.
They're just like, who cares?
Time to get that money.
So you're on stage.
You're like in the middle of, let's say, like your best, most well-structured bit.
It's a closer because you're working towards your closing.
Yeah, you're working towards your closing.
And then they're just like, you got it.
Well, you got to pay.
Is that a visa?
We don't take American.
And you're like, cool.
And then you just deal with it.
Right.
So you just, what ended up happening is...
As a seasoned comedian, you start to learn that if that check drop happens, pivot to something that doesn't need their focus because they can't focus while they're paying their bill.
So, anyway, like the first time I did Acme,
I was, I remember I got off stage and I was like,
I was like, man, everybody paid attention.
I was like, what's that?
Is there no check drop here?
And they're like, oh no, there is.
And I'm like, wait a minute.
I didn't notice though.
And they go, oh, no.
We give people their checks throughout the show depending on their pattern of ordering and consuming.
And I was like, there you go.
So what they're doing is, let's say somebody has a beer, and then then their second one, they're nursing it.
Right.
And it's 20 minutes into the show.
They will just quietly put the bill there and they go, this person's not going to be consuming.
Somebody else, let's say, orders a bucket of beers.
They go, well, that's all they're going to order.
Yeah.
So then they give them their bill.
Yeah.
18 minutes in.
So it's staggered so that like when that 45 minute, 50 minute time comes, there's not a massive drop.
They are just,
and I was like, oh, but what it takes is like thought.
Nuance.
train.
And they train the servers.
They go, watch the person.
Yeah.
Like, watch how they do it.
And then drop it at the appropriate time.
Right.
Because let's say, God forbid, the guy with a six bucket of beers wants more alcohol.
Great.
Reopen the check.
Yeah, do it again.
And then I'd rather take the time as a server to reopen a check in the middle of the show versus at the very end of the night having a stack of fucking you have to close out everybody's bill.
And then it's a lot of work.
And then there's always like, well, how does the person respond to the bill?
Sort of like this guy, you know?
Spell it how you say it, but swear to God, two chicken sandwiches, two waters, seven fing dollars.
Fuck this guy.
Oh, by the way, you want sauces on your thing?
They're a dollar apiece.
Fuck you,
yourself.
Wow.
These places are closing left and right.
This guy's a complete piece of shit.
Sky Fieri.
It's Guy Fieri.
Those of you listening.
By the way, a dollar for sauces is ridiculous.
Those should be complimentary.
So this is
is
posted by Dan, a serial entrepreneur, small business advisor and YouTuber.
He's complaining about prices at Guy Fiori's restaurant.
I'll say this.
I love Guy Fieri.
I think he's the fucking, I think he's a fantastic person.
I loved when I met him and hung out with him.
He was so gracious and so cool.
I'm wondering because of the noise here in the background.
First of all, it sounds very busy.
It sounds like a lot of people are paying $70
for two chicken sandwiches and two waters.
yeah um this feels like vegas pricing oh right which is standard yeah vegas everything is like what you want a like a basket of fries it's 40 that's the but and by the way i've eaten at guy fiery's restaurant in an airport outstanding it's good i really liked it so i'll pay a dollar for a condiment okay look hawaiian i can't read this my motley q
and i like that they name things funny motley q pulled pork sandwich adorable 23
that is a lot of money for a is this in Vegas you're right I don't know I don't know that is a lot for a pulled pork sandwich yeah but here's the thing 23 bones this is
this is a tier of restaurants babe right a bacon mac and cheeseburger 24.99 yeah but this is my point though wow this is not mcdonald's no it's not it's an upper yeah
But here's my thinking from a branding perspective.
Yeah.
Guy Fieri, I thought would appeal to a
maybe like not so high-tier price point.
You know what I'm saying?
It's Vegas.
Oh, it's Vegas, baby.
That's not crazy.
That's Vegas, yeah.
Vegas, baby.
Vegas, everything is like this.
Yeah.
This isn't, all the, also, there's definitely a tier above this if you want to, if you're looking for high-price items.
Sure.
You know, this is like.
No, that's Vegas prices.
That's crazy.
You go anywhere else and you're going to pay this much for crazy.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
If you go to Chili's in Vegas, you're going to pay this.
Yeah.
No, this is not fair today.
Ain't no thing but a chicken wang, man.
Can I tell you what is kind of disturbing though is that guy is holding the live chicken and you're gonna eat it yeah
like maybe not like i would hold the cooked version no because you don't want to think about the animal you're butchering i put my arm around a cow and be like
tom screw it steaks yeah this guy's so mad that's what i'm laughing at
this dude is so
pissed off but like he did the funniest thing but he didn't see the prices before he ordered like you can look at the menu bro Um, you don't got to eat their homie.
Look at the prices before you fucking so mad.
He's so mad.
But swear to God, two chicken sandwiches, two waters, seven
dollars.
That's a lot.
Oh, by the way, you want sauces on your thing?
You're a dollar a piece.
Fuck you, guys.
These places are closing left and right.
This guy's a complete piece of s.
How about that?
He's so mad.
Can you go to his Instagram?
Wow.
It's
IA allegedly.
I allegedly.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Is that his?
I allegedly.
You know, we've all got our things.
So what's he normally like?
What's he say here?
I just wanted to say Happy New Year.
I truly appreciate each and every one of you being part of I Allegedly and subscribing to the channel.
And I look forward to 2025.
We're going to have an amazing year.
So much is going to happen.
Very different.
I cannot wait.
Yeah, he's normal here.
And he's professional.
He's upward and upward, guys.
You know what it is?
You go to Vegas, you put a few in him, and he starts.
He gets in.
Look, he's happy in that one, the one you just clicked on there.
Yeah.
He's sauced up, right?
I'm on St.
Kitts shopping.
St.
Kitts.
They've got cigarettes.
He's happy about smoking.
And they say smoking kills.
So kids, don't smoke.
Okay?
Because smoking kills.
That is hilarious, guys.
Look at this.
I'll say
smoking kills.
Smoking kills.
Yeah, they're not subtle about that in other countries.
Right there.
They put pictures of lungs and stomachs.
He says, please be kind to everyone.
Onward and upward.
All the best.
Fuck you guy.
You piece of shit.
He really did not like getting that bill.
Also, didn't he know the prices?
That's what I said.
Right?
I literally said that that when we, yeah, like, you can see the prices on the menu
before you order.
So why is he shocked?
He's just like, because if they're like $23.99 each, yeah, dude.
I mean, look, you and I were in Vegas when we were broke as broke comics.
You know where we ate?
Where?
Chipotle, remember?
Yeah.
We ate a chipotle every day.
It's a lot there.
It's a lot there.
You don't have to eat at Guy's place.
I bet he doesn't like Kamala.
Let's see that.
Let's see.
I absolutely get a kick out of our politicians.
Kick out of them.
Saying things that are not questioned.
Kamala Harris
last
announced her economic plan.
And one thing that she announced was that she was going to build 3 million low-cost houses and apartments.
That's fantastic, guys.
Think about this.
In a four-year term, that would be 1,460 days.
If you divide that by 3 million, it's 2,064 a day that she would have to build.
Dang!
What?
Oh, Dan, you're being a buzzkill.
Come on, man.
We just gotta do it.
He puts his own picture of himself.
No.
That's amazing.
Have accountability for these guys.
It's that simple.
We can't do the Oprah.
You get a car.
You get a car.
You get a car.
Oh, you don't get a car?
He's having fun with stickers.
Yeah.
Slow down.
I can't even do that in my videos.
That's cool.
No.
It's not going to happen.
Okay.
Oh, he's so clever.
Did you see that?
He gave that, like, hmm.
See how smart I am?
Yep.
Fuck you, Bill Maher.
I got this down.
I love when guys like him break it down for you, too, The economics of stuff, Tom.
I want to see.
I'd like it to be.
This is like when your dad explains politics to you.
I'd like to see him lose his shit.
He has a cool American flagshirt.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, of course.
What's Christmas?
Okay, here's the Christmas post.
Do you think he's going to complain that they don't say Merry Christmas where he's from or that they've forgotten Jesus?
What do you think that video is?
It's going to be
some complaint about how America has gone south with Christmas.
They've forgotten the real meaning.
That's a big one.
Yeah.
That's a big one.
That's where my money is.
What is yours?
I mean, I don't think you're wrong.
Hey, guys, it's that time of the year.
And I just want to be the first
in your life to wish you guys a Merry Christmas.
Okay.
Okay.
It's never too early for Christmas.
Okay.
Okay.
So I allegedly wishes everybody a Merry Christmas.
This is posted in June.
In June.
Okay.
So Merry Christmas.
Again.
In June.
In June.
Real happy, though.
Yeah, I mean, he didn't say, no, he did say seasons, greetings.
Okay.
I thought we'd get a rant.
Hashtag business.
So cool.
Fucking asshole.
Fucking Guy Fieri, $70.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, he's a real.
I think that's really the only time he's lost his shit in any of these.
I am really.
He just really got him at a time that he really didn't.
Oh, what's about Popeyes?
He's got a rant here.
Let's see.
So I was filming in Pasadena, and as I was leaving, I was on the phone with a buddy and said, Oh, wow, there's a Popeyes chicken.
Haven't seen one of those in a while.
And he's like, Hey, could you do me a favor and stop and get some Cajun rice for me?
Sure.
And I remember their Cajun rice as being like a flavorful, spicy rice with meat in it and stuff like that.
Oh, it's got rice and beans in it now, sir.
This
is their Cajun rice now.
We just see the container.
Okay,
yeah, I'd like to see the product.
$7.11.
There There he goes, Sarah.
$7.11.
Uh-oh.
Okay.
For KGB.
Is that Looneyville, guys?
That's nuts.
You wonder why families are suffering right now because they cannot make it
$7.11.
What does this guy want prices to be?
I don't understand what he thinks everything should cost.
And you don't have to eat at Popeyes.
Who can afford these ridiculous fast food prices?
Nobody can afford this.
This is why they are going out of business.
What?
Are they going out of business?
I don't.
I don't know.
I don't know.
They carry you around anymore.
Okay.
I mean.
Okay.
What is his advice?
Because he's a business page.
Is his advice like, look, start a business, never charge a lot for anything, and then you'll be good.
Like, how does he advise people?
Okay.
This guy's fucking.
No, Popeyes is not going out of business.
I like that it answers you like that.
No.
No, you dip dip shit.
But I am upset that California Pizza Kitchen has gone out of business.
Yeah.
Can you believe that?
It's done.
You Google it because there used to be one here at the Bromain in Austin.
That's our children's favorite restaurant, CPK.
And it's gone.
And I don't think it's gone from.
Okay.
No.
No.
It did file for bankruptcy in 25 years ago.
Company emerged with a reduced debt load.
Well, the one in Austin's gone, and I am deeply deeply upset.
Please, CPK, bring back your Austin location.
It's focused on expanding its franchise footprint, innovating its menu, investing in marketing and digital, and looking to
captive dining audiences in airports as a source of customers.
And also, their prices are going to remain at $3 for full pizzas and entire meals.
Following the I allegedly business footprint.
You believe these fucking prices?
This pizza was $11.
Jesus Christ.
Who the fuck can afford this shit?
CPK does provide a great product.
Can you go back to his thing?
Can you scroll to the top?
I just want to see, like, what is he likely to do?
What is this?
Okay.
Oh, he's only got like 2,800
followers.
Babe, he's only got 2,800 followers.
I know he's going to have more now.
Some things haven't been proven yet.
Is this like a third eagle of the apocalypse type?
I love this.
He's a serial entrepreneur, small business advisor, YouTuber.
In my career, I've survived the crash of 2000, 2008, 2020, all through the ups and downs.
I've learned not just to survive, but thrive.
In my experience, tough economic times always provides new opportunities.
I'm what's known as a connected marketer.
I help businesses raise money and get connected as strategic partners.
What?
All this
gobbledygook, this jargon.
I don't understand what these people are doing.
You got to fucking redesign this page, bro.
I was about to say, number one thing I know about him is that he definitely made this website.
Yeah,
sometimes he's all about saving a buck, but sometimes you gotta spend a few to make it look like you didn't build this in fucking 1996.
Let's go to his YouTube.
Let's see what these episodes are like.
Like, what is he doing entire episodes on?
He's got 300,000 subscribers.
Okay, so he's legit.
Okay.
I've been banned for life from Walmart.
What the fuck?
Hey, it's Dan.
Welcome back.
You're watching I allegedly.
And I've got a good one for you today because I've been fanned for life from Walmart.
Please hit the like button.
Please subscribe to the channel.
Yes.
Today we have a sponsor, Private Internet Access, which I will get into in a little bit.
But let's get right into it.
Yeah.
Okay, so it's not me that's been banned.
It's a woman named Ashley Cross.
And this is something...
that we've talked about a few months ago, but Ashley Cross
has been banned for 4,600 Walmarts, all of them.
Can't step in.
And the reason for that is that she went out and she
took one item that was very inexpensive and then she would scan it at the self-checkout.
And what she would do is she would use a watch battery, which was a little over a dollar, and she would then scan that.
And they caught her
scanning about $180 worth of merchandise, jeans, and shirts and other things.
Yeah.
And with that, they said, No, you're done.
So they are fed up with this.
They're absolutely done with this behavior.
The self-checkout is where they get robbed blind.
Well, yeah, why are they doing that?
People
scan five items, take out six.
And Walmart is fed up with it.
Walmart's completely done with it.
And
so she's done.
Okay.
But is that the story?
This is a 19-minute video about Ashley scanning.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
Are we still, if this is still the Ashley story, I'm going to absolutely die.
He's walking home.
Arrested her for this.
And it was a massive nightmare trying to get out of this.
This is what you want to avoid, guys.
I'm telling you.
Want to avoid stealing?
I had a guy I was filming at that self-checkup.
Oh, his first time in a grocery store, man.
No.
So I
said something to him.
Anyways, you know, come on, guys.
Mind your own business.
Okay.
Be aware of this stuff, guys, because I'm telling you this right now.
You want to do something interesting?
Do a search on how many people have been arrested at the self-checkout for this is a business advice, guy?
I know.
Don't do self-checkout.
Yeah, no shit.
Don't steal, or you'll get a ban from Walmart.
Okay.
That's insane.
All right.
I hate self-checkout.
Good luck with your page, sir.
It's very interesting that you're doing all that.
Can we please do some happy birthdays?
Yeah.
Oh, it's my absolute faves.
Yes.
So, as you know, or if you don't know, you go to a drive-through.
Hopefully, it's a coffee place, like a Starbucks or something.
You use either a British Cockney accent or an accent of your choosing.
You say happy birthday.
You say I love you.
And you just see how it goes.
Hey, my name is James, James.
What do we get for you?
I'd like two pink drinks, please.
What size?
Large.
Two large pink drinks.
Anything else?
That'll be all love.
All right, we'll see you up here.
It's so bad.
Is that
I love it.
I love how bad it is.
And it's for you.
Oh, thank you.
Happy birthday.
It's so
stupid.
It's so dumb
to hand somebody a tip and be like, happy birthday.
And they're like, okay.
It's not, but yeah.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Especially the bad Cockney accent is really what gives me the most joy.
So good.
Thanks, James.
Yeah, it's got to be bad.
With vanilla.
I'll take it hot, please.
And may I have that with vanilla?
Oh, his is good.
And then for me,
I think I'll try one of them new cortatos that's really good no thank you
all right no thank you drink stopper please
thank you and this is for y'all yeah yeah it's your birthday happy birthday it's your birthday happy birthday happy birthday
so stupid i also like how many happy birthdays you have i felt like he either is british or has like british parents or something i know because he had the little like kind of colloquialisms in there yeah he was good at it
hello there love Can I get a
large
chestnut frappuccino, please?
Who would you like, love?
Oh, yes, can I get another large matcha frappuccino, please?
Stupid.
Today?
Oh, yes, uh, you'll start strawberry drizzle.
His accent is all over the place.
Or syrup or whatever.
He just dropped it completely.
Yeah, sir.
Hang here.
Is it your birthday today?
Is it your birthday?
Yeah.
You know, Craig, Craig told me it was your birthday.
You don't know?
Must be the owner of Starbucks.
Sorry, sir.
Is it your birthday?
I I do like the long of the.
Ah,
the long ah was great.
That could be a whole new lane.
I think I'll add.
If you could do a really long pause like that, and see how long we could get those pauses.
Oh, my God.
Those are great.
That's really funny.
Wow.
That was fucking awesome.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
You'll like this for sure.
Yes, I do.
Jayden, Jayden, Jayden.
You look retarded, bro.
Oh, thank you.
I saw that.
That's good.
Yeah, he didn't even hear him.
I don't think he heard.
You look retarded, bro.
I think he heard him.
He did, and he said thank you.
Oh, thank you, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
What's going on with that kid?
What do you think?
I mean, this is definitely not a cry for attention.
Wearing a fucking house as a hat.
Yeah.
Gosh.
Jaden.
Yeah.
He's all over the map.
That kid.
Stupid.
It is fucking stupid.
I know your
ultimate dream is to see me as Robert Smith.
Of course.
But then we also,
one of your favorites of all time, Peter Murphy.
Of course.
This side-by-side is pretty great.
Let's see.
Let's see you.
Oh, you could so do this.
Look at that.
You guys are twin brothers already.
Wow.
Look at him.
Oh, my God.
You guys really are.
Blue eyes.
You got the blue eyes.
His eyes look really good, though.
Oh, he's stunning.
And is it that he has good eyelashes, too?
Of course.
Peter Murphy's got good everything.
Good cheek structure, good eyelashes.
So here's what you'd have to do to do this.
You got to get a spray tan.
I don't think Peter Murphy spray tans.
I think that you're exceptionally pasty.
Thank you.
And you need to spray tan, and then we got to put some blue eyeshadow.
And that's pretty much it.
Are those eyeliner?
Is that eyeliner or is that eyeliner?
Yeah, it's a little eyeliner.
He does it in the waterline, as they say.
You could do that, but I still think.
God, maybe I should start doing eyeliner every day.
Right?
Isn't that like a cool idea?
Wow.
Are you being serious?
I would love that.
Really?
I would love that.
Would you try?
Sure, I'll try it.
Yeah.
I love guys in black eyeliners.
Oh, I mean, it's been one of my dreams.
Here's the deal, man.
You can't wear a lipstick with a beard.
I mean, that's probably why Peter Murphy doesn't do that.
It looks, it's not, it's not appropriate.
He looks really good, though.
No, he's incredibly good looking.
He's still, you know, he's thin.
He kept himself in shape and everything.
But
I still, I love Peter Murphy, but Robert Smith
is where my heart is.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, Robert Smith is like my first crush.
Can you listen to me?
I mean, growing up as a teenage girl, 13 years old, he's my first big crush.
I have posters of him everywhere.
I'm obsessed with Robert Smith.
If you could do Robert Smith,
you going to do it?
Yeah.
No, really?
Sure.
Don't get my hopes hopes up.
I am.
I'm thinking.
I'm trying to figure out a way that we could do it.
Okay.
Ready for a vibe shift?
I love Peter Murphy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bitch, don't play with me.
Do not play with me.
Do not play with me because I'm not the one or the two.
You're not the one or the two.
Let's go.
You ain't got your mouth.
You ain't going to do nothing.
Like I said, keep my fucking name out your mouth.
Mine is always in yours for some reason.
No, some reason.
Fuck out of here
Remember what I was telling you about service industry?
I mean, I'm dropping your ass.
Not good.
Right?
Yeah, it's spirit air.
Fuck out of here, you dumb bitch.
Yes, you are.
Jesus.
Fuck out of here.
You and your ratio.
Fuck out of here.
Go suck.
Like I said, I said what I said.
And
I said what I said.
Please step to me like you wanted.
Imagine you're about to board a flight, and you're like, What the fuck?
So, it's so terrifying.
You're like, Why are they yelling at me?
You're not the one or the two.
Fuck.
I'd be so scared if you're in line.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Nigga, my name.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, jeez.
Mommy.
Yeah.
I have to, and I, look, this is not very solarically
correct to say, but nothing
scares me more
than
black girls yelling, like black women yelling.
Holy shit.
I mean, I think it harkens back to middle public school and like, like, this shit escalates, bro, and they will fucking throw down.
Yeah.
They fight.
Yeah.
Can't.
This shit gets real, bro.
I know, I know.
This is like, I'm having flashbacks to
fifth grade.
What is it, Portola?
Fucking Portola.
Yeah.
Dude, black girls are vicious, though.
They will fucking
cut you, bro.
Bring you in here.
Look at this.
The shit that they say to each other, I can't even come up with.
Yeah.
I know.
It's pretty good.
It's like,
damn, dude.
Yeah.
All right.
I said what I said.
I said what I said.
Did you ever get jumped?
Of course.
Of course.
Yes.
Of course.
I mean, but yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, I didn't, here's the problem, man.
Is I had come from a nice Lutheran school.
I was like this quiet little blonde girl.
I had a little bit of scrappy, a little bit of an attitude.
And black girls would talk some shit in the locker room and talk shit everywhere.
And I didn't know to shut the fuck up.
I just didn't know that you don't say anything.
And I told them, I was like, why don't you shut up?
Shut the fuck up.
But this is a locker room.
Bad idea.
And then I got on the radar and
they're fucking me up.
Well, you learned a life lesson.
Yeah, don't talk to black people.
Don't talk to them.
No, that's not the life lesson.
That's not the fucking lesson.
You should be afraid of black chicks.
No.
No.
No, it's just you gotta.
That's no, you gotta read a room.
And you gotta know
when to when to shut up.
Yeah, that's the lesson.
I know.
I just, I don't know what was wrong with me.
I don't know.
But that shit scares me, dude.
To this day, I'm like, woof, get away from that.
Yeah.
Get away from the moat.
Don't get in your spirit employee.
Nobody got time for that.
I remember far away middle school in
Milwaukee.
And,
you know, it was a similar experience.
But I already knew.
I already knew when to shut the fuck up.
Yeah, I didn't know that one yet.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, look, I defended myself not very well, but I'd fucking, I fought.
I tried.
Dude, but these bitches got crazy, dude, like
ripping braids out during lunchtime.
And they fucking fought.
They fought harder harder than like Chola girls because cholas would fight, but never at school.
I didn't feel like I didn't see Mexican girls throw down at school the way black girls throw down.
At school.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, I know they fucked each other up, but that was like they did that somewhere else.
Does that make sense?
I don't feel like I didn't see Cholas fight.
Angelinos?
Anyone?
See Cholas fighting?
Cholas fighting?
Cholas, girls.
Yeah, Cholas, yeah.
I've seen that growing up in school.
Yeah.
Yeah, they know how to fight.
Yeah.
They fight at school?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
That was big in my school.
Do you ever see white girls throw down like that?
One time in middle school, these two ghetto white bitches
threw down.
They were throwing kicks and stuff.
And then
that was during a passing period.
That was kind of cool to watch.
That's always when the nails come out.
The white girls.
Violent fighting I ever saw was actually with white boys, though.
White boys.
That I witnessed?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like bludging.
Like, yeah,
white boys get crazy.
There was another kid, another guy who was just like commenting, I think, not even like in a,
I think this,
this guy was talking about another guy's girlfriend and not in a grotesque way.
It was just that he was like
talking about her and the boyfriend felt threatened by this.
Like just, he was like, stop talking about my girl.
And just...
in the middle of the hall in front of like everybody
like punched him and then got on top.
And this started, like, wailing, like when you see, like, a UFC fight, and they're just like, bow, bow.
And you saw blood, like, shooting out of the guy's face.
And yeah.
This is a good point because UFC fighters are all crazy white guys, right?
A lot, not all.
Yeah, but the majority is like crazy white guys.
Like, there's some crazy white guys.
Trashy whites.
There's a lot of trashy whites.
Trashy whites love the UFC.
So there's something to it.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
Yeah, violence.
God damn.
Asians don't fight.
You ever seen Asians fight?
I mean, Asians fight.
Actually, in the ninja movies, yeah.
In the food movies, yeah.
Actually, low-key, no, I've never seen an Asian fight.
That's crazy.
Thank you.
Like, I'm saying in school, like public school.
Yeah, in school, I guess.
You ever see the Chinese kids throw down?
No, no.
Never.
He had to be mixed.
I'm pretty sure I've seen one, but the motherfucker had to be mixed.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
It was Asian and black, probably.
I saw a white kid get turned into a vegetable.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This kid I know punched this other guy, I know.
And then the kid got knocked out and hit his head on a curb, and now he's broccoli.
Whoa.
I grew up in small town, Nebraska, and it was all like farmers and like trailer kids fighting all the time.
Like,
white kids, small towns.
But no Asians.
No.
No Chinese kids.
I never saw an Asian kid.
Not one.
Koreans?
No.
But I know that right now there's definitely people listening and watching being like, bro.
Yeah.
I saw fucking Dat Nguyen fuck this kid up.
Like they just are yelling at their fucking.
Dat Nguyen.
Yeah.
The Vietnamese motherfucker.
He motherfucking lit this dude up.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, that's true because I do know there are Asian, you know, gangbangers, Asian gangs.
A thousand percent.
Especially in L.A., yeah.
I just haven't seen it.
I just haven't seen it.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah, let's get some emails.
Yeah, let's get some people.
Are you an Asian Asian stories?
Asian fight bullying stories.
It's a nice thing to just put into the universe.
Hey, did you witness an Asian kid beat the shit out of somebody?
Please share it with me.
We've never seen it.
Wait, Tanner,
you saw this fight?
Yeah, I was at a house party, and so he punched him, and then the kid was perfectly placed when he fell.
His head hit the back of a curb, and now he's
pretty retarded.
Because usually when those things happen, you get like, you get arrested.
Yeah, he got arrested.
I was supposed to go to school with him.
I was supposed to go to college with him.
And since he had a court court case, he couldn't come to school.
So, you know, that this, by the way, always reminds me of the one I saw this orthopedic surgeon after I broke my arm and my leg snapped playing ball.
And he goes, and I was all fucked up.
I was like, ha.
And he goes, you're lucky.
I go, lucky.
He goes, well, you could have hit the back of your head.
And then you'd be eating through a straw for the rest of your life.
I was like, okay, cool.
I'm lucky.
Because he's like, you could have landed on your head, man.
No, I'm lucky.
Otherwise, I've had you as a husband.
Mike!
Tom, go do your act.
Mike!
Mike.
Go do your act, Tom.
Get out on the road.
Jesus Christ.
Tom.
I look at the screen and then it goes,
what's up, motherfuckers?
Tom.
Tom.
Do I have permission then to have lovers?
Oh, get the fuck out of here, you bitch.
Fuck you.
Girl, get your life.
All right.
What?
Nothing.
How do we get down this hole?
Oh, the spirit air employees.
Spirit man, I'm telling you.
And you're like, no, service industry's cool.
No, it's not.
It's fucking dog shit.
I know.
I just,
look, I have sympathy for them.
It's a tough gig.
Serving the public is
easy.
Damn, it's the worst
job.
It's harsh.
Public, you know what's really hard is customer service, and people are always angry.
I know.
And our pussies fucking sting.
Okay.
Yeah.
Here we go.
A lot of people are, of course, celebrating over it and touting about how great it is.
Of course, there's another angle of this participation rate.
Explain that to us and why we need to look at that.
Absolutely.
Well,
we're in a very good position to
talk about what's going on.
Okay.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
All right.
It's a, Dr.
Drew, it's a hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism.
I saw a clip of a guy, by the way, talking about, he was a basketball player talking about,
you know, when you played this position.
He goes, yeah, you know, as a,
when you play, I forget if it was like guard or forward, he's like, you know, there's a stigmatism
associated with playing that position.
Astigmatism.
Yeah, and everybody was like, right, right, right.
Like nobody.
You know, as a small forward, there's always a stigmatism that we don't.
Put the ball on the floor a lot.
And you're like, right, right.
How does this chick go on television and not say something?
Like, hey, sorry, my eyes are wide open.
Yeah, sorry, I'm freaking you the fuck out.
Try to listen to the words and not look at me.
She knows how she looks.
Of course, she knows.
Why don't you just say something?
We work with a lot of Fortune 1000 organizations.
Jesus Christ.
She hasn't blanked either.
No.
And we get a good post on what's ramping and areas of growth.
We also work with
laughing firms and that's firms one six theories that growth.
We're seeing tremendous
people here at Digime.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Oh, that was cool.
Imagine if that was your partner.
Partner.
Yeah.
You mean your gay partner?
There is people like this.
This is usually in women you see.
Yeah.
I feel like I've seen bitches like this where you're like, close your eyes, dude.
Close your eyes.
Fucking.
Isn't that crazy?
She can't go.
She either goes close or this.
There is no...
in between.
Also, there's like no way to resolve that.
You can't be like, hey, fix this.
Of course there is.
It's a medical, there's a medical problem happening.
Unless she's gacked on she's not gacked she's
she's got an issue as yeah she's got a problem listen as a middle-aged man there's a stigmatism
involved all right you're dating a misangist and you've transitioned in front of them and they are like part of the reason you're struggling to even identify as a man or trans masculine you're like i'm you know non-binary but i and hey i am complicated i'm non-binary i'm a woman i'm also a man though and i do look like this and i'm walking the world like this.
And so, this person during one of our flights was like, I don't see you as a man, though.
And I said, That's weird.
Everybody else fucking does.
And they're like,
I was like, You maybe should look at me a little closer because what are you seeing?
Hanging out to kids.
What's a misandrist?
It's the opposite of misogynist.
Yeah.
Someone that hates men.
Oh,
it's a fake word.
So, yeah, misogyny is woman-hating, and misandry is man-hating.
Misandrist.
But he's saying, I'm a man.
Yeah.
I don't understand this shit.
Dislike or contempt against men.
Yeah.
I.e.
the male sex contempt for men.
I know a bunch of bitches like this.
I know.
I feel like that's being popular right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's usually a bunch of busted-ass hoes who can't find anyone to
fuck them anyway.
It's never, it's never a bunch of broke, busted, ugly ass
yeah it's never hot chicks they're not gonna hate men it's like
no dude bitches that were thrown to the side because they look like dogs yeah
all right oh my god i was re-watching kevin samuels yeah yesterday just to myself and he's like okay how how how how tall are you five two how much do you weigh 145 okay no no no like he just straight out i saw the clip i don't know if if we have it.
Of somebody describing, she's like, well, I need to know what my options are.
And he goes,
how old are you?
And she was like, 43.
He goes, none.
And she goes, I'm, he goes, none.
None.
And she goes,
he goes,
she's like, I have three kids.
He goes, none.
Are you hearing me?
None, nothing.
Nope, nothing.
She goes, I have no options.
He's like, no.
Okay, you're 43.
You got three kids.
Who the fuck would want you?
Who the fuck wants you?
If this circle represents all of the open defecation that happens in the world,
this is the fraction that happens in India.
Jesus Christ.
And this is the fraction that happens only in rural India.
65%
of rural Indians defecate in the open.
So what that means is that most of the open defecation that happens in the world happens in rural India.
Yeah, we got it.
And most most rural Indians defecate in the open.
We got it.
Every day, these talks are getting 100 million
people
in villages in India.
Go in the fields rather than use a toilet or a latrine.
We got it.
What's the reason?
That's bigger than the population of the United States.
Why?
Why choose to do that?
They're all poor and stuff.
No.
What's the reason to choose the field shit?
Why not?
It's perfect to shit out there.
Wouldn't you love to shit in a field?
I would love to shit outside with the nice warm breath.
I love toilets.
I love shitting in my toilet.
I would like to open defecate.
Can we build me an open defecation house?
Or you can just go out in the yard.
I've never.
You can wave at the neighbors and take your shit out.
I'd love to.
I've never experienced
stopping you from doing this.
I know.
There must be something to it because all the Indians love doing it.
That's true.
Lack of readily accessible toilets, deeply ingrained cultural norms that accept the practice.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Poverty, inadequate sanitation, infrastructure.
It's fine.
Who cares?
Just shit out in the field.
There's nothing out there anyway.
It's rural.
Who's it hurting?
Fuck.
I think, you know what?
I think this woman is open defecation phobic.
And I think she needs to fucking.
I actually always think about, like, when you're thinking about this, open defecation, is the cleanup, the wiping.
Yeah.
So they use their hands.
Really?
Well, I know in the, I don't know, actually, I know in Muslim countries you use your hand.
All Muslim countries?
No.
I've just learned that when I was in Afghanistan, that yes, sometimes they use their hand and they wash their hand.
That's why you eat with the
left, wipe with the right or vice versa.
I forget.
Okay.
I don't know, but they're not bringing paper towels out.
Oh, other way around.
Yeah, they're not bringing paper towels to the field.
No way.
Maybe they're wiping with plants or leaves or something.
Look, humans have been shitting.
For centuries.
This is how we all used to shit.
Open defecate.
Okay.
Across North Africa, Middle East, and Asia, people traditionally use their hands to wipe after using the toilet, followed by washing them with water, often using the left hand specifically for this purpose due to cultural hygiene practices.
This is particularly prevalent in Muslim countries where water-based cleansing is emphasized.
Yeah.
So you wipe with
your left
and you eat with your right.
Got it.
You don't ever want to shake a Muslim's left hand.
Yeah, that's considered very.
Yeah.
So you got Dookie on it.
Look,
I don't know why she's just singling out the Indians.
I'm telling you, but it's got to be other.
Well, no, open defecation.
Good for her.
Good for them.
Good for them.
I think it's causing some issues.
This is why she's giving a speech.
Oh.
Well, I do remember the story about open defecation where they would come to like Disneyland and shit.
Yeah.
out in public or come to cities and then sh still open defecate.
Yeah.
They just haven't learned how to use a toy.
Oh, that's a big thing in mainland China.
Yeah.
So a lot of mainlanders that shit just anywhere will visit like Beijing or Macau or Hong Kong or, you know, Shanghai, and they're rural Chinese and they go into the big city and they're like, I got to shit.
I'm just going to drop my pants right here and shit on the floor of this mall.
And then they're like, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
No.
No.
Nope.
No.
See, and you know, don't think I didn't notice that when I brought up the idea that the Muslims use their left hand to wipe their eyes.
You looked at me.
And it was crazy.
Okay, I just didn't know because you guys are always like, oh, Christina, you got these crazy ideas.
Let me tell you about the next crazy idea I'm on.
Can I tell you what's
huge in the mommy TikTok world right now, the mommy sleuths out there?
Candace Owens,
I love you, girl.
Candace, come on your mom's house.
You need to explain this, what I'm about to tell my husband.
It is so good.
You guys have to go to her website, candace owens.com to see the stuff or her youtube she is staking her career
on the fact that brigitte macron allegedly candace owens is saying that brigitte macron the first lady of france
is actually a man is
male
keylastima
Actually a dude.
Come on.
I know.
It's crazy.
And she's got a ton of evidence.
And this Poulard guy who wrote a book, I bought the book.
I'm all into it, Candace.
I would love for you to come on and explain this to the world.
You're so into this.
I sound insane.
I've been into it for like a month now.
Every day I'm like, holy shit, dude, Brigitte Macron is a dude, bro.
Let's pull up a Brigitte Macron.
So here's what I, oh, we talked about this already on the show.
Sorry, yes.
But so the series is called Becoming Brigitte.
And she goes through their genealogy of the family and how these two meet.
And by the way,
there's all these stories that Macron meets Brigitte when he is 17 and she is 36.
First of all, that's not true.
They're saying that he was 14
and she was, what, like in her 40s or something?
39.
And that's when they hooked up.
And there's a whole ton of evidence.
You guys have to get into every detail because it's fascinating that there's no photographs allegedly of this Brigitte Macron for 30 years.
30 years, no photographs.
Okay.
She just,
she's born.
Okay.
So then there's like three photographs that they, they put out of her.
This is supposedly her at her wedding.
Well, they do these AI analyses now of photographs, like the kind that the Chinese use or whatever.
And the AI is like, that ain't.
That ain't Brigitte Macron.
And that guy is actually her, I don't know, uncle, brother, whoever the fuck.
It's a whole crazy story.
Allegedly, she's assumed she's actually a boy.
There's a family photo.
Hold on.
Where's that family photo?
Okay, let's go back.
Her name is actually Jean-Michel something.
Go Google.
That's her in her 40s.
So that's when she's teaching.
Okay.
Google Brigitte Macron-Young family photo.
So it starts with here.
So basically what happens is...
She and her husband get into the L E Say, whatever.
He's prime minister.
And like well-meaning journalists are wanting to investigate
her background, correct.
And what they realize is that there's a black hole in Brigitte Macron's history, which is like you can dig up school photos, you can dig up everything.
Everything's public.
So they're saying, this Poulard and Candace,
that actually Brigitte Macron is the little boy here on the left, my left.
And I don't know who the hell this one is sitting on the lap of Brigitte.
But isn't it possible that that's brigitte on the lap sitting on the lap no because they did like ai analysis of the boy
analysis i'm telling you bro i mean but why does ai analysis have big or whatever photo recognition softwares and all of this
well if you look at okay can you google childhood photo jean-michel side by side with brigitte macron i'm telling you this little boy is identical to brigitte macron if you do a side by side there's all there's and then they found a few photographs of Brigitte.
That's Brigitte Macron before she became Brigitte.
So she disappears.
She goes to Algiers, has a sex change, supposedly comes back, and now is Brigitte.
It's bananas.
No, this is this is Michael Jackson.
Who are you bringing up?
Anyway, Candace, please come on the show and explain this better than I am.
It's a whole story, it's fascinating stuff.
Okay.
Look, Tucker Carlson follows her, too.
It's a whole thing.
Okay.
Allegedly, allegedly.
Well, I know that you're very fast.
I would love to hear firsthand this account of how.
Candace, come on.
I know you're a pregnant girl.
You're in
Tennessee.
My crown is really Jean-Michel.
Jean-Michel.
A man.
A man.
Who's fucking a boy.
Correct.
Cool.
And, right, so she's actually Jean-Michel.
She disappears.
She comes back.
And now she lives as a woman named Veronique for a while.
It's a whole fucking thing, man.
Okay.
Crazy.
It's and they're this allegedly.
Why is she staking her career on this, though?
Why is this?
Why is this?
I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why.
Because
it's not just that this woman is a man.
Back up when there you go.
See those photos?
Those four photos?
Women who falsely claimed Brigitte Macron is transgender.
Yeah, so they sued them for defamation or slander.
But it's not on the claims that Brigitte is a woman.
I'm sorry, Brigitte is a man.
There's slander in the details of the stories.
It's a long story.
It's not what you think it is.
So go back to those images, those four images.
Go up.
Boom.
Next row, second row.
Scroll down.
Scroll down, mommy.
There.
Look at those.
Okay.
Look at teeth.
Don't lie.
Look at the middle two images.
Yeah.
Oh, you're saying that those are the same.
That's Brigitte.
Got it.
See that young man?
Yes.
And then you see Brigitte Macron.
Look at that.
I mean,
are my eyes deceiving me?
And like Candace says, but wait, but I'm saying, what's the way to, like, why do people care?
Why do people care?
Oh, sorry.
So the implications for this being: A, if this really is a man who transitioned to a woman, is
because having a relationship with a 14-year-old boy is completely inappropriate and illegal and wrong.
Secondly, there's ties to
allegedly, Candace is saying, in the Élyse, in the government, they're protecting
because they, you know, she believes that this is a
culture.
And they're protecting.
There's also links to the Rothschild family.
Regime Macron is actually a Rothschild, which is like the biggest banking company in France, I know.
And they're protecting each other's interests.
There's incest.
There's all kinds of gross things.
Have you been talking to Sam Triple every day?
Satanic cults.
The lizard people are controlling.
Here's my problem, Tom.
Can I tell you my problem?
Sure.
I'm not doing stand-up anymore.
I'm not out in the world.
We need to get you on stage.
I'm on the mommy sleuth TikTok, and I'm here for it.
I love it all.
I need to get out of the house.
I agree.
I agree.
I know it.
But, Candace, I love you.
You're doing God's work.
All right.
I want to hear the full story.
Can we do some talks?
These are talks.
We got to go, man.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm the talk.
Yeah.
I'm the TikTok today.
Aliens.
Martha.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
Don't go.
That was like a Danish dating show or something.
Sounds like a drink.
He goes to French.
That's the Macron family.
That's actually photos of how they say hello to each other at holidays.
She's just a cool lady.
She's got great tits.
Any
down, down,
down,
yeah.
Nice, any?
Hell yeah.
They have Therian masks at IKEA.
Breaking news.
These are legit.
This is a Therion mask.
I don't know how you can tell me otherwise.
Cool.
They have a whole box of them.
And I just think IKEA is getting with the times.
If you're doing quad robics at the IKEA, I don't think they would judge.
What the?
First of of all what's a therion
i think these is like the mass cosplay nerds this is what dorks are doing yeah cosplay theon furry this is the furry culture okay and then quadronics i'm not sure what a quadronic oh maybe you're getting on all fours quad doing that dorky shit these nerds do on tick tock okay i don't know when it these fucking nerds man yeah
they need to go back to being ashamed of themselves and very cool
Well, it's upsetting now that IKEA is embracing their stupidity.
This weird fur.
I think IKEA was just like, here's an animal mask.
That's what I think, too.
But this nerd sees it as a cultural.
Well, yeah.
You see what you want to see as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just like they see it.
Satanic.
I think Brigitte is a woman.
To see, I've not been real proud of it, but my grandmother was a witch, an astrologist, somebody that studied the stars.
My mother's name's Jojo.
You know, the government knows Dorinda.
The FBI knows Jojo.
Any?
She said the government.
The government.
Would you smash?
Yeah, I'll give it a round.
She got us to eat.
I bet she could take him out.
Awesome.
Our real boy here, literally.
Just had this shirt made.
Thanks to my Facebook friend named Tina at a place called Embroidery Plus in Las Vegas.
Cool.
I'm gonna be walking Fremont any minute now.
On Friday, I'm gonna be going to Little Italiana in Summerland between like three
and maybe like seven.
So, if you want to come hang out there, that'll be pretty fun.
You can get gonorrhea.
Come hang out.
Vote Lauren for next season.
Vote Lauren for North America, too.
Good time to record.
Outside.
We're going to keep it going.
But thank you so much, Tina.
This shirt will be for auction eventually.
I'll autograph it and see if anybody wants it.
Yeah.
Gonorrhea boy.
All right.
So
that was really cool there's what no go ahead there's just this lane of people that are proud of their stis and they like to they don't want to be shamed he gave out like a location where he'll be for like three hours if anyone wants to come hang out then i'll autograph this if anyone wants it what the fuck
so cool if anybody could let us know if you bought the gonorrhea boy shirt i would love to know um
all right this was a lot of fun today it was really fun it was we got to get going though we have a lot to do now yeah lots of stuff to prepare busy Okay.
We love you.
Thanks for watching.
Thanks for listening.
We'll see you next week.
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