Tom Green Wants Garth Brooks Closure | Your Mom's House Ep. 797

Battle Creek, Michigan.

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Next month, I'm coming across the pond to Dublin, Belfast, Manchester, London, Glasgow, Nottingham, and Cardiff.

Tickets and info are at tomscrew.com/slash tour.

Welcome, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

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Hello, governor.

Hello.

What's up, everybody?

It's another show.

We're here.

We're excited.

We have an incredible guest today.

We got a lot of cool things to show you.

So many.

What's everybody?

What's it?

Okay.

That's so good.

Let's play some more of that.

You like that?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty great.

Nope.

I don't know about that one.

Okay.

Edie.

Edie.

Hello, Carla.

It's really good.

She was in rare form.

She was in so much, so much, so much complaints.

I might be retarded, but I'm not stupid.

She's very, it's very true.

How are you feeling, Tom?

How's your period?

It's good.

Well, it's coming on.

I can feel it.

Tell me, what are your symptoms?

Just like some hot flashes.

You know, I'm starting to cramp, and I can just feel, I just want it to start so bad.

Yeah.

The anxiety of it before it comes is the worst.

It's the worst.

I can't wait for menopause.

Yeah.

What period?

are you using an app to track your cycle yeah yeah what's the app uh keep bleeding yeah yeah what do you use um period tracker oh yeah that's that's what everybody used to use you know i i don't know if this is true for you but if i um i saw this on tick tock maddie gates

i don't know if you know this but she told her boyfriend Does this happen to you when you eat spicy food?

It makes your period spicy.

Yes.

That's so crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

What about you?

Where are you in with your period?

Oh my God.

It's just like waiting for it to happen.

It's the worst.

Same.

I think we're cycled up again.

We are.

Yeah.

It's going to be such a rough week.

Many can have periods.

A lot of people don't know that.

Dude, not anymore.

Not in Trump's America.

I think we're done.

I don't think I'm going to stop bleeding because there's somebody else in the White House.

That's a good point.

Guys, here's a great segue.

Buy my perfect for lipstick.

I'm wearing Berlin today because I'm feeling saucy.

My period is spicy.

You can get that at Christinap.com.

I have four colors.

I say just buy them all.

You know what I'm saying?

Especially if you're a guy, you need to gift for your lady for VD.

It's your birthday.

It's your birthday.

It's a birthday.

Yeah.

Gonna have some exciting images coming up soon on Christina P.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Yeah.

Do it.

So,

yeah, that was cool.

Having her here was cool, man.

How are you feeling?

Pretty good.

I had a pretty, well, a period dump, you know?

So the worst.

Yeah.

It was like runny.

Yeah, just, you know, fucking hormones, man.

But yeah, other than that, I feel pretty good.

Good.

Yeah, pretty good.

It's excite.

I'm excited.

Why don't we introduce this show?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I forgot.

We haven't even done that.

Yeah, here we go.

Hitler, hell and the Nazis.

I really don't think that he was because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research, not my public education indoctrination.

I really do think before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with.

He fought for his country.

He wanted to purify it by kicking the greedy Jews out that were destroying his country and turning them all into gays.

Don't bring anyone mother into this.

Welcome to your mom's house

with with Tom Suzuki and Tom Subsur

and Christina Pajitsi.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Uh-oh.

Meow, meow, meow, meow.

I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy.

That was Bryce Mitchell on episode one of his podcasts,

Ark Insanity with Bryce Mitchell and Roly Delgado.

I think the best part of this whole thing is watching the other guy the whole time be like, it's like, what did I just get into?

Yeah, he's like,

this is our first episode.

What is this guy talking about?

Hey, he got us involved.

Yeah.

Here's the rest of the rest of it.

They were gaying out the kids.

They were queering out the women.

They were queering out the dudes.

You know what our first tranny surgery ever was?

Happened to be in Germany before Hitler took over.

You know the books that everybody makes fun of Hitler burning?

You know what the books was?

Queer books.

Hitler burned queer books because Hitler didn't want a bunch of queers destroying his nation.

They can't produce children.

But

what about

what's he gonna say?

He's a UFC fighter, and this is, there was a huge fallout from this.

And then I guess he has since then, what, apologized?

Yeah, yeah, he came out.

Dana ripped his ass like in a press conference.

He was like, he's like, he goes out.

Dana started his press conference going.

He goes, you know, I've been around a lot of dumb fucking people,

but

this is the dumbest fucking person that we've ever encountered.

Wow.

So scroll up a little bit, actually.

Oh, I'm sorry I sounded insensitive.

I definitely was not trying to offend anybody.

Of course not.

But I know I did.

I know that a lot of people died in the Holocaust.

That's a fact.

Hitler did a lot of evil things.

I think we can all agree on that.

I'm definitely not a Nazi.

Definitely do not condone any of the evil things that he did.

I'm talking about the cool shit he did.

Guys, a lot of people are going to be.

What I'm trying to say is everybody only talks about the bad stuff.

What about the good stuff?

Yeah, man.

I was just trying to tell darn queer books.

Now, the real question is, what's episode two going to be like?

I don't know if there will be a second episode.

Because your second episode would have to be all about your first episode.

I don't know.

Poor poor Hitler got on meth.

He was a guy to go fishing with.

You think meth really turned Hitler bad?

That also might be, you know, know, there's sometimes you hear sentences.

That might be the first time that sentence was ever spoken.

Like ever in the history of human life.

That would be a cool guy.

Before Hitler was on meth, that's a guy I'd go fishing with.

Oh, yeah, here's,

this was great, by the way.

And I'm sure you guys heard what Bryce Mitchell said.

If you haven't, said some,

probably,

I've heard a lot of dumb, ignorant shit in my day,

but this one's probably the worst.

We talk about Hitler,

who's responsible for the death of 6 million Jews, and he tried to completely eliminate a race of people.

World War II was the deadliest war in history.

15 million military deaths, 45 million civilians, and 25 million soldiers were killed in World War II.

Second of all, Hitler is one of the most disgusting and evil human beings to ever walk the face of the earth, and anyone that even tries to take an opposing position is a moron.

That's the problem with the internet

and social media.

You provide a platform for a lot of dumb, ignorant people.

We've obviously reached out to Bryce and

when we read what he said

and let him know how we feel about it.

I don't even, we're beyond disgusted.

He then went on to say, it was great, though, because he was like, he's like, you know, yeah, he can say it because you can say what you want.

He goes, but what's great is that, you know, he will be in the octagon and then everybody can just cheer for him to get the shit kicked out.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, everybody has alternate research now.

They're like, you know, I know that's what we all learn, but I did my own research.

What kind of research?

Stop the indoctrinated bullshit they feed you about Hitler being a knucklehead because he wasn't.

Everyone's got their alternate stuff, it's pretty cool.

People always saying this guy was up to no good.

I found out he was burning queer books, and that's cool.

That is cool.

Yep, yep, yes, yep, yep.

Unreal, ganging out the kids, gaying out the kids.

They're always worried about gaying out the kids.

Yep, this is the biggest thing.

They were queering out the women, they were queering out the dudes.

I don't know.

They're always so worried that the homosexuality is contagious.

I don't think you can see it.

People are really

upset.

People who wear camo really fear it the most.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

I'm going to catch this bullshit from you.

Don't come around here.

The other thing that all like

hillbillies think too is that any gay man wants to fucking them.

Yeah, them in particular.

Like

330 pounds, just like fucking gut hanging out.

Face looks like it's it's fucking got

shit growing, like mold and shit growing up.

And they're like, I don't want no fucking gay guy trying to fuck me.

Like, no one's trying to fuck you, man.

Nobody wants to.

Gay guys, straight guys, straight women, gay women.

No one wants to fuck you.

Nobody wants to fuck you.

Nobody.

Come around here, see me naked, and try to fuck me.

I don't care about that.

What do you think?

Oh, no.

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It is our kin sanity.

That's a good name for

the podcast.

I do hope he keeps it up.

I do too.

I mean, shit, I'm excited.

Is he gonna keep it up?

Episode 200.

They already announced that they're canceling because that would be a shame.

I don't want them to.

Let me keep going.

There's another episode already.

Yeah, that'd be fucking rash.

Yeah, Bryce, don't let Dana White scare you.

You got a voice,

Please.

Yeah, let's just see.

I mean, maybe type in the, yeah.

Okay.

He's got to get some, he's probably got some views on episode one.

Right?

Oh, only.

Only one episode.

Oh, that's too bad.

Threw in the towel, huh?

You got to keep going, bud.

Got to get it going, bud.

Oh, man.

Well.

Yeah, what can you do?

What can you do?

What can you do?

So, yeah,

there's some stuff I want to show you.

Where did I

looking for this

very

awesome

person?

I don't wanna,

I don't wanna.

Oh, yeah, look.

This is enough.

Oof.

Oof.

I just moved into my apartment tonight.

I heard construction about me all day, but I let it go like it was nothing because I didn't want to believe that they would come here and do this.

And then the only thing they did is attacking me.

It's non-stop.

Don't tell me you thou do this to me.

What is happening?

She's a paranoid schizophrenic.

Oh, they've been attacking her all day.

The construction on top.

Oh, oh, God, I got it.

But the snot thing I thought was.

That was really cool.

I like that.

And it's cool to upload.

Right.

After you have it, you can go, like, should I?

Should I?

Not her.

She just goes right in.

Yeah.

That was really nice.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I thought she got maced because her eyes are all red and

makes her nose run.

No.

Also, have you ever seen this skill before?

There's so many like talented people out there.

And you just, that's the cool thing.

I mean, Dana was saying the bad thing about the internet and social media.

The good thing is that you discover talents.

Let's see it.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Right?

How's he doing that?

I guess he's a professional throat whistler.

Oh, wow.

Look at that captivated audience.

Oh,

look at that kid.

Kid loves it.

Whew.

And he's feeling.

Oh, my goodness.

Wow.

That kid's trying to whistle.

He was like, Yeah, everybody's like, How is he doing this?

Yeah, we don't know how he's doing it.

Here's the thing: that's 1984.

Yeah.

Right?

That's four years ago.

Guess what?

What?

He's still doing it.

No.

Yeah, he's still doing it.

Wow.

I bet his talent got even better.

Wow.

Unbelievable.

Oh, he's doing YMCA.

That's cool.

Yeah.

That's Ralph Whistle on Instagram.

Beautiful.

And I've lost myself on his page before.

Oh, my bad.

It's just like hours.

I bet.

Wait a minute.

Yes.

I'm confused.

Are we not going to talk about how we know this guy?

You don't remember this guy?

No.

What?

No way.

This guy like pissed you off before, remember?

He did?

In the LA studio?

Yeah.

How?

We saw this guy a long time ago, he was like,

you know what?

That was the old us, that was LA snobby us.

We appreciate talent now.

I really

think that's here's the thing: I don't even want to revisit that, whatever you're remembering.

That sounds like a dark time for Tom and I.

We would never discourage talent.

Also, um, that was before I became a Texan.

Yeah, I like this guy's attitude, he's pro-America.

Yeah, what is wrong with me?

Super.

I mean, I'm I'm first of all, I feel like you're not telling the truth, And

secondly, and me

lies.

Sorry about that.

I must have been mistaken.

Yep, that's careful.

What is wrong with me?

Jesus Christ, this guy.

Ralph Gies, is that how you say it?

I think.

Can you try to do it?

Can you do it?

That was.

I can do the face.

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I like how he.

Yeah, he makes his mouth move and it makes the sounds go up and down.

I don't know.

I like it.

I think it's very cool.

I think it's very cool.

I like how many different songs does he have there on that Instagram?

Oh my god.

Let's hear it.

Happy Thursday, everyone.

Oh, shit.

I am whistler.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, you are.

Whistler, I am.

Yeah.

I am whistler.

Whoa.

Is he kidding me?

It's unbelievable.

Wow.

Thank you.

That's great.

Thank you.

You know, I see that he's smoking cigarettes.

I don't want him to damage his instrument there.

Well, I think it's probably at this point he knows.

Yeah, how to do that.

Yeah.

He's been been cultivating this talent for 40 years.

For so long.

Yeah.

It's really incredible.

You know, that's amazing.

That's quite a talent.

Yeah.

It's very exciting when a man has a special talent.

It makes me excited.

Yes.

Another update you're not going to believe.

Guess who is back at it?

Who?

Blaze man here.

I've been blown out back since 96, but

you know, if you're a single female and you're local,

hit my line, baby.

Yes.

Wait a minute.

The ladies' man, he's back.

I guess he broke up with his girlfriend.

He broke up.

He's in a public restroom.

He is letting you know that he is back on the scene.

He's doing like Tony's John's.

Yeah.

Blown out back since 96.

Woo!

Giving out the phone number publicly.

Can I just say, and I like that Tony was in a relationship, but I like Tony John single even more.

Single Tony is kind of the most fun stuff.

Who he is.

This is when he shines.

Here's the only concern that I have personally, because I am a Tony fan and I want to see Tony succeed.

I don't know that that's just orange juice.

I know.

Thinking

that he's not just a citrus fan.

I know.

I thought the same thing.

And I fucking hope it is not a screwdriver in a carry case.

I hope it is not a leader of the fucking screwdrivers.

Because that's what they do.

I've seen people do that.

I know.

I know.

I'm not.

Listen, let's give Tony the benefit of the doubt.

Benefit of the doubt.

We need you sober and sling and dick out there.

That's right.

We don't want you inebriated.

No, and keep working, Tony.

Keep getting a job.

Because I think the job is what keeps him in line and on track.

It's true.

I don't like him unemployed.

Idle hands.

Different men attract women in different ways, you know.

That's so true.

I think there's certain guys that, like, I don't know, some guys do this bullshit.

I don't like

your man doesn't have a lean, energetic, strong physique.

I don't like it.

Get you off the pill and toxic cosmetics and build a purpose-driven business and lead, protect.

Like, he's one of those.

It's not for me.

But he, this, it's still an angle.

It's just an angle.

It's a way to get laid.

Certain chicks are going to see that and be like, I like him.

I know, but it's too aggressive.

I personally, I mean, you've known this about me.

I like the weirdos.

I like a dark night.

I like, I'm into,

you know,

the vampires.

I like Peter Murphy.

I like Robert Smith.

I like this.

I like Depeche Mode.

I like Dave Gahan.

I like these

out of shape, a little weird.

I'm okay.

There's something about the dark.

See?

I love the darkness.

And look, I love you because I do think that deep down inside you are a serial killer.

And I think that's why I'm very into you.

I'm drawn to your darkness.

Do you?

But I'm just saying, look,

remember when I was your fantasy Tina and I dressed up a long, I did it like three times for you.

Yes.

It took hours to put prosthetic boobs and lips, hours.

Yeah.

All I'm saying is, I did that for you.

Do you think you could do that for me?

Dress up like Tina?

No.

Like, dress up like Robert Smith or,

you know, Peter Murphy or

Dave Gahan.

One of your goth heroes?

Just once.

You've never worn black eyeliner.

You've never put on any of my lipsticks, and I have every shade for every skin tone.

You didn't even try red.

Look, Hitler, what he did was he got rid of the queers.

They're not queer.

They're all married to women.

Yeah.

I'm just saying.

I know, it's so weird that that.

See, that's the thing, though.

That's a different angle.

So, like,

one of those guys could totally seduce you.

they did yeah you know how many weirdos yeah that's that's how they got in but that's okay

you know what though it can i just can i talk to you for a second yeah sure the point of the story is this is what attracted me primarily like my young christina loves the dark even even when i was just listen to me yeah i mean i'm talking 1984 i'm watching mtv I'm not into, you know, the metal guys.

I'm into David Bowie.

Yeah.

I saw him in the video for blue jean put bring up David Bowie Blue Jean and instantly I knew this is the kind of guy I like I like the British weirdos I like guys in eyeliner I like pale faces and and and cheekbones and cigarettes and out of shape is okay I'll just this this something inside of me was like that's the one he's not he's just thin he's real thin real gaunt I like the AIDS sort of sick I'm the opposite but that's what I'm saying so then later on, I matured.

I got mature.

And can I tell you something?

Real talk?

Yeah.

I met you.

And because you're an actual

alpha male, something primal too switched on in me.

And I was like, this is the guy.

I finally found a real man.

Because this is a different lane.

Yeah.

These are effeminate males.

Totally.

But your masculinity, I was all in.

Your smell, I just,

like, I still, I'm very attracted to you.

Good.

But maybe we could merge Bowie with Tom okay Robert Smith we will have will you do it no please we'll talk about just once oh there he is I still love him I think he looks great look at that I love it I think he looks great yeah of course it's Robert Smith babe okay oh he's so cute and I like that he stuck to it He's still wearing the black eyeshadow.

He's got the lipstick.

His hair looks great.

Yeah, he looks good.

You definitely got it there.

He looks good.

I would take 10 Robert Smiths over like one, that fit guy that we just saw.

I'm not into the fit guy.

No.

This is not very exciting.

This aesthetic is exciting?

Always.

Until the day I die.

But don't you think it's because you know Robert Smith and his talent when you see this image?

No.

This is the look.

My sexuality was formed watching

like 80s alt boys.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like that nine-year-old Christina in 1984 watching David Bowie was like how you was my sexual

beginning.

Sure.

The clash, watching, you know, Joe Strummer, these weirdos.

I like weirdos.

Yeah, you do.

You've always liked weirdos.

Because you also liked that,

what is that actor that you always liked?

He's weird.

There's so many.

No, the fucking guy.

Dark hair,

Buffalo 66 guy.

Oh, yeah.

What's his name?

I forget.

Oh, he's so funny.

I like that weirdo stuff.

Yeah, Vincent Gallic.

Yeah.

That dude for real looks like Charles Manson.

I know.

I love it.

I love crazy.

Now put some black eyeliner and red lipstick, and now we're...

Is that a still from a movie or just life with the denim, the dark denim on?

Looks great.

I mean, is that just like him out there?

Because it's fucking just in the world.

You're like, yeah, he's an interesting guy.

I just love it.

Really?

You know, there's mystery there.

I'll tell you why, because the average guy.

He wants you to die.

What does he say?

Oh, in the policeman.

Okay.

The average guy.

Oh, he plays the golden skin.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just.

The average guy, the average male is not very emotionally intelligent, right?

Yeah.

Right?

These guys pretend to be a little more emotionally available to women.

Yes.

And that's why.

So I think that's why Teenage Me was like, oh, he gets me.

He gets me.

Robert Smith, if I met him,

I would just have to meet him and he would fall in love with me, right?

We talked about this before.

And then we would talk about our feelings and he would get that I'm a depressed teenager.

Like that's the

yeah.

Yeah.

And then we'd fuck.

And we are back and we are thrilled to bring back one of our favorite guests of all time, the great Tom Green, everybody.

Oh, wow.

This is amazing.

You know, most people are content to have one new project.

Why three?

Well, is it greed?

Is it just being greedy?

Sounds very greedy.

I need a documentary.

I need a series.

I need a special.

I mean, how much did you fleece Amazon for in this negotiation?

You know, it wasn't too bad.

It wasn't too bad.

Nice.

But no, it was cool.

It started out with a documentary about the sort of the history of my show and stuff like that.

And they all kind of tie together.

They all tie together.

There's a stand-up special, which kind of talks about my new adventures and on my farm in Canada.

Dude, I just saw the trailer.

I saw the trailer for this.

And it looks fascinating that

you really decided to, you were an LA guy, obviously

well known as an entertainer and comedian.

And then you're like, I'm out of here and I'm going to go to, I'm going to get a farm in Canada.

Yeah.

I mean, it's interesting because like I grew up in Canada.

I didn't leave Canada until I was 28 years old.

So

and then I just ended up in LA when the show was on and

never left for 20 years, you know, but

I mean I did love living in LA.

It was fun being there and it was always good doing doing stand-up.

It was a good time to be in LA.

But I guess when the pandemic happened, I thought, I don't want to be in LA anymore.

And so I moved back, found this farm.

didn't really know anything about farming.

That was going to be my question.

Like I didn't grow up as a farmer.

What did you intend to do?

Yeah, what did you know?

What did you know?

So, I do enjoy the outdoors.

Like, I would go, I like going fishing and

nature and being out in the wilderness and stuff like that.

So, so I basically found this place because I just kind of wanted to live out in sort of the wilderness and just because I'm still touring all the time.

And when you come home, I thought, oh, it'd be cool to be not in the city.

And so that's where it started.

But there's these two old barns on the property.

And then you think, oh, maybe I should get a mule, right?

That seemed like a logical thing to do.

So,

and then it just took off from there, but

it's been

best experience, best thing I've ever really decided to do.

I'm so happy to have you.

How long have you been on the farm now?

It's basically this three and a half years, pretty much.

Do you feel like, because one of the things that I would think after this amount of time is that you've learned a lot on that farm?

It's like

starting with the mule.

The mule, this is Fanny.

If people can see Fanny here, she is an incredible mule.

And it started out, you know, the idea to get a mule for me was, I was thinking, oh, that'd be kind of funny.

Like, because I was picturing it looking like a, more like a donkey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because a mule.

It looks more like a horse.

Yeah.

No, a mule is half horse, half donkey.

So I didn't know this.

I didn't know that.

So they have like one less chromosome than a horse and one more than a donkey, or maybe it's the other way around, because it's a hybrid.

and so uh because of that uh they um

they're really smart and uh they're stubborn people say they're stubborn but they're really smart and you sort of start to learn all this stuff about these animals in order to ride her for example like you know it's taken uh

she didn't she wouldn't turn left for about the first six months i mean she because she she figured out that i knew i didn't know what i was doing and she just wouldn't listen to me so i had to kind of get some training and stuff but but now i've really kind of have this really close

daily relationship where I get up and I ride her off into the wilderness and there's all sorts of places to ride on her around the property.

And it's the most relaxing thing

because, you know, it's,

you know, when you walk outside in nature, it can kind of relax you because it sort of sort of brings you back to your primal sort of instincts of being, you know.

you know, predators and, you know, fight or flight and all this stuff.

But when you're on a mule, you're also worried about like falling off and, you know, breaking your neck, too.

So you really, it snaps you into the moment.

And just that's what I'm doing now.

I'm riding around on my mule and I love it, but it's it's an amazing thing.

So a lot of, it's been a daily sort of thing figuring out how to look after her and then and then lots of other stuff too.

Do you grow food?

Are you growing anything?

Just like a garden.

It's not really hay.

We grow hay.

There's like there's hay fields that we cut.

The crazy thing about you telling this is that

I also would believe that this is an elaborate prank.

Like if you just revealed

we were like, dude, I don't have a fucking farm.

I'd be like, God damn it, dude.

I wish it was in a way.

But then I wouldn't get to live there.

No, I mean,

I've been thinking about this because I've been talking about the show a lot lately, you know, because it just came out last week.

And,

you know, people have suggested that it's maybe the most normal thing that I've done in my life.

But

I don't know.

You know how, you know, you know, when I started my show, we've talked about this before, but it was sort of back in the early days of video and stuff.

And going out in the street and doing this

crazy stuff was kind of

not as normal.

But now you see it everywhere, right, on TikTok and people painting their parents' house and doing pranks and all this stuff.

They're all doing that shit.

And

at a certain point, as I've gotten older, I thought, well, because I can't really keep doing that, you know?

And then you start to think, well, what would be

probably the weirdest thing I could do would be to just go do something normal now right because it seems almost like there's so much weird shit out there yeah

maybe just to go do something uh

you know normal there's got to be people out there watching you do something normal and the whole time they're like

he's gonna

there's gonna be a turn here any second yeah yeah you know but it's it's the show's really funny I mean it's it's it's my relationship with my parents is hilarious.

They're on the show.

We're so lucky to have your parents still.

Yeah.

And that's really really the main reason I moved back to Canada.

And I thought, well, I'm going to move back to Canada, be close to my parents and my brother.

How far are they from you now?

They're about like 30 minutes away.

Perfect.

And so they're actually at the farm right now.

And, you know, I've got,

you know, so it's great.

But,

yeah, so

they're on the show, and they're hilarious.

Like, they get all the big laughs on the show.

I mean, they're kind of, the tables have turned a bit.

They're kind of razzing me on the show now.

So I'm not pulling pranks on them and stuff anymore they're sort of they may pull a prank on me on the show I don't want to give it away but if you watch the show there's they may sort of flip it around on me a little bit

they're so sweet yeah but it's uh no it's and also you know I shot all the shows too so it's like you know I you know, I get my cameras and I'm still doing, you know, I always like this tech stuff, right?

Like we're talking about the microphone before the show.

So

I get my cameras and I'm really kind of

enjoying just the creative

process of filming and directing these shows.

I directed these shows.

The last thing I directed was Freddy Got Fingered.

So, you know, it's going to be good.

Hell yeah.

Fuck yeah.

It's going to be good, like Freddy Got Fingered.

Legendary.

It's a classic.

Exactly.

I loved it.

Daddy, would you like some sausage?

Exactly.

So this, because you did inspire so many people to do weird and prank stuff.

Like one of the things we do, we encourage people to go to Starbucks.

And then in like the latest one, we've because we've done different versions of this, is we try to tell them, please use a British accent,

please say happy birthday,

like a cock,

say happy birthday, okay, and try to say I love you if you can, also.

And then we have people send in videos of them doing it.

So people have been submitting.

So this is like an example of what people have been sending in for

us.

Talking to Grace.

Hello.

Hello.

Happy birthday.

Now Starbucks is just like, what the hell is going on with this influx of

British people?

That's awesome.

Oh, nice.

Thank you for choosing Starbucks.

How can I get started for you?

Hello.

Hello.

May I please have one lemonade and one water.

Not bad, not bad.

Yeah.

What size you want?

Medium.

Alrighty.

Who else can I get for you?

And that will be all.

Happy birthday.

Oh, my gosh.

Have you heard?

Welcome.

I like that he, that guy was like, yeah.

Yeah.

Have you heard from Starbucks?

No, not yet.

This has got to be

starting to kind of like they must be starting to wonder at this point.

Like, if every Starbucks

is this worldwide?

No, do our British people, when they go to startups, are they talking in an American accent?

That'd be really good.

Because we actually told them, I think last week we were like, hey, if the

people feel like their British is so bad, like, just do a different accent.

Just don't speak in your natural accent.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I think adding happy birthday is such a curveball to somebody who's like,

why are you saying happy birthday to me?

Oh, they say happy birthday to the Starbucks?

Yeah, yeah.

Everybody.

Okay.

Yeah, you just have to say happy birthday.

Well, it started with I love you.

We would just tell people we loved them.

And sometimes they'd be like, I love you too.

Or you have to call them mommy.

We would call them mommy.

I love you is a really interesting one, though, because it throws people sometimes.

Like, I'd pull up and be like, I love you.

And they were like,

what?

Or everybody's filming it and putting it up online, right?

So

it's a very, it's kind of a nice prank, though.

I mean, that's one thing.

Exactly.

Which is cool.

Like, I mean, it's sort of

nobody's getting hurt here.

It's actually just kind of a nice accent to hear.

It probably even improves the day of the Starbucks employee.

You know, we've got a lot of these nice British tourists here, and it's very kind of positive.

This guy did a nice one.

Upbeat.

Welcome to Starbucks.

Are we striding anything to eat for you?

No, thank you, love.

Could I get a venti hot pistachio latte, please?

Yeah.

Could you make that with moose soup?

He's doing like little inside stuff.

I'm sorry, how are you saying English?

Oat milk.

Okay.

How are you saying in English?

In English.

That cheese Danish is talking to me now.

You know, I'm trying not to eat cobs.

When I see it, though,

a little Paul McCartney on there for a second.

I know.

When I see it, I think, just let me eat you one time.

I better not, love.

Let's just stick with

anything else.

That's it.

Okay, come on out.

Thank you.

Happy birthday.

He's really getting some good.

What's everybody?

How are you?

What's everybody?

Oh, F-A-R-T.

Let me grab.

Okay, I snip that one.

Is that a thing Brett Sayers is now?

They're all show references.

Show references.

Oh, okay, okay.

So he's really keeping it like inside baseball.

Oh, it didn't tap?

Let me try.

His accent's also fading, which is.

Has he appeared on the show before, or is this his sort of thing?

So this is, he's going to be stoked about this, too.

And he's just rose to the top of the pack of British Starbucks ordering pranksters.

Exactly.

That's amazing.

Well, yeah, that's always was.

We tried a few things like that back in the day.

It's so much fun when you get people involved, right?

Yeah, much more fun.

And

I'm actually kind of impressed, though, that that you're such a nice sort of warm

thing.

It's nothing too

crazy about it.

Maybe you could probably make it a little crazier.

You can make it crazier.

You could probably get them to

throw something.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to tell them green and I'll throw it on green.

Throw some cheese at them or something.

No, no, I'm just kidding.

I think it's nicer like this.

Because

you don't want people getting hurt, right?

You don't want to send people out to get hurt and stuff.

No, no.

I used to, we did, when I did a college radio show before my show, I started when I was like in,

not in college, but I was, I guess I was in high school.

I went down to the university station and I started this radio show in Ottawa.

And it was midnight till 2 in the morning.

It was the only time slot they would give me.

And at 2 in the morning, I'd say to everyone listening, meet me on Parliament Hill in Canada, in the front lawn of the Parliament buildings, bring a soccer ball and some pizza, and we'd go play soccer on the front lawn of the Parliament buildings.

At 2 a.m.

At 2 a.m.

till the sun came up, basically.

How many people would come out?

Like 60 people would come up.

Wow.

Yeah, it was pretty cool.

And it sort of became this thing that we did for a few years there.

Not every week, but we probably did it 20 times or so.

How many of the 60 were you concerned about?

Were you like, this guy's fucking...

There'd be a few, right?

The guy listening at 1.30.

Yeah, I mean.

And it's guys.

It's not girls.

It was always kind of people that I find anybody that ever got involved or engaged in things like that were usually pretty kind of creative people like like these guys and like they kind of were into the spirit of it.

I mean there hasn't been too many situations where it was

a lot like today, you know, where it's online and you read, you know, I don't know if you see the kind of things that come in online.

It gets a little nutty sometimes.

A lot of the pranks now are like

to really elicit, almost like elicit violence and like get people.

I feel like it's I don't know.

I don't find it that it seems to me like there's a guy that bumps into people, yeah.

And then when people are like, What the fuck, he has a body bodyguard, yeah, and you're like, that's not I like that fart guy you and I passed through each other, the guy that just beefs in front of chicks, it's a fart machine, yeah, sure, sure.

And that's really, he's like, Welcome to the barbecue.

Yeah, Leslie Nielsen used to do that all the time.

So this is this is this is comedy, you know,

farting machines.

I saw a real comedy, you know, another one that I feel like it's not mean, but it's so funny to kind of like this guy is in a clothing store and he's asking for pants that they don't have, a size they don't have.

Right, right.

And then they just keep asking, and the guy's like, we don't have that.

And then he's like, well, what kind do you want?

And the guy's like, 35, 30.

He's like, yeah, we don't, we have zeros.

Like, no, not a zero.

We want a 35, 30.

And they just keep going back and forth.

Like, it's interesting how like things going on too long has become sort of quite

fun to watch.

It's fun.

I did a video once that was just a throwaway thing that was on my public access show.

I don't think it even aired on MTV because MTV re-aired this stuff from the old show.

And it's now become one of the most brought up videos where I went to Subway and I just ordered a sub and then I said, oh, can I have a little more lettuce, please?

And can I have a little more tomato?

Okay, that's a little more black olives, please.

A little salt and pepper, some oil.

Can I have a little extra mayonnaise?

Can I have a little more lettuce?

But it went on for like 20 minutes, right?

And this is is one of these things where you know i begin hearing that subway's been been having people doing this you know yeah yeah but uh

but it was it was a nothing bit it was a nothing bit and then all of a sudden youtube it's like the one that that that popped on youtube more than any of them so what's interesting is that is subway allowed to refuse you the free items that's the sort of the loophole that's what i felt was kind of like the interesting loophole because there's nowhere there's a sign where it says you can't have a little more lettuce yeah you know like there's no rule that that uh and it's subjective a little more is subjective.

Yeah, you know?

It's not like avocado, which is a premium item.

Yeah.

I redid this one.

Exactly.

And then notice in 1994 they don't wear the gloves either.

Nice.

I'm not sure if I can do it.

I guess I'll get some lettuce.

Just a little more lettuce.

I'll get some tomatoes.

Black olives, I guess.

Look at the babies.

Probably 25 or there or something.

Two pickles.

And I guess I'll get some pepper.

A little bit of lettuce, a little more lettuce as well.

And I guess some mayonnaise.

And I guess a couple more tomatoes.

That's so funny.

What is so funny?

Because you know it's this same building.

It's a huge sandwich.

And some pepper.

A few more black olives as well.

Just a few more.

And a couple tomatoes.

That's so much.

And I guess a little bit of green pepper.

And some onion as well, please.

And I just got a little bit of a potato.

And it's polite.

That also helps.

You're very polite.

And some mayonnaise, I guess.

I guess.

I guess I want some.

The monotone.

It's funny to me that we're actually watching this in its entirety right now.

We're not only annoying everybody back then, but we're annoying everybody now as well.

I love it.

It's so heavy.

Look at that fan.

Just scroll to the end of this.

It's only halfway through.

Oh, he never says anything to you.

Look at that fucking thing, dude.

A little slow mayonnaise.

Now he's shaking his head.

Some lettuce?

That's it.

Oh, he stopped you there.

I actually forgot whether he drew the line or not or whether I quit.

Did he put toothpicks in it?

I don't know, but I tell you, that was a good idea.

You had to push that guy.

That sweet man, you pushed him to the point where he goes, that's it.

That's it, man.

I'm not doing this anymore.

There's something about.

You already got 17 sandwiches worth in this sandwich.

Yeah.

That's it.

I think that started out.

That idea started out out of necessity, you know, because I didn't have much money when I was a kid and we'd go skateboarding.

We were hungry.

Yeah.

So it was like, you get a nice extra salad out of the deal.

That's awesome.

Yeah, there's something fun about like razzing fast food places because everybody relates to it, right?

Everybody can get involved.

Yeah.

But there's like, it's funny because there's this like line too.

When you think about it, because nobody wants you to be like a dick to like an hourly wage person.

Right.

But there's something like endearing about you're at, you're just at, you're not, you're not demanding.

That's a big like factor in it.

You're not like telling, you're like, I guess I'll have a little more of that.

The tone was great.

It's an interesting point because I've thought about this quite a bit over the years because,

you know,

when I was a kid there, like, you know, that guy was making a lot more money than I was.

You know, like, I didn't have a job.

I was just running around with a video camera and I was living in my parents' basement.

And to me,

razzing people on the street or messing with people at the subway, like, I was punching up.

You know what I mean?

Like, this was like, this wasn't, you know,

me going around messing with, you know,

people

in the same way.

way, it kind of felt like speaking truth to power.

Like talking to the subway guy.

This guy's like

a real sort of established sort of member of our society that keeps society running.

When I was just a kid in my parents' basement without a job, I was going around.

I would apply it more to security guards.

We'd rather have security guards a lot.

Everybody hates security guards.

Yeah, and they kick us out of places for skateboarding and stuff like that.

Charlie, come here, come here, come.

My dog Charlie's with me.

Come here, Charlie.

Come.

Should have introduced everyone.

But so

being young and going and doing pranks on the street, and being young and broke and doing pranks on the street, it felt like less mean.

And so that's, I think, kind of a

distinguishing thing, I think.

You know, you see, like, everybody now has the phone.

They can shoot perfect audio and video, and the sort of the...

you know, the ability to enter this sort of world has gotten so much easier for people that

you do get the people you talked about who just haven't really thought it through.

They're just trying to do something.

Let's go up and

punch somebody or

be mean.

But

I've been guilty of watching a lot of this stuff.

Like, I actually really like watching.

I talk about this in my stand-up special, but I'm not doing a bit, but I do watch Karen's getting arrested and tased a lot.

I do enjoy that.

I watch

Karen's Getting Arrested and Tased

is something that I

really enjoy.

And it's sort of mean because

you're not sure who is the instigator here.

Is the Karen the one that started it or is this sort of the mischievous young prankster sort of?

Yeah, they're not pranksters.

She definitely started it.

Started it.

Yeah, she got arrested.

Okay, she did.

Can I see the beginning of it?

But then sometimes it's people capitalize on somebody who's maybe a little bit sort of, you know, because you can wind a Karen up pretty easily

getting physical

yeah there oh well she really took a smack at him

wow see yeah I can't I love this I love watching this stuff

I can't really

oh no wow she's really nice

yeah you know she's oh the guy's grabbing her too this is well he's like stay away from my lady but the thing I kind of wonder is is the guy also kind of like sort of realizes, hey, this is some good content for

my TikTok, you know?

So they kind of troll them in a little bit.

Which is also

kind of fun.

He's trying to get

his lady away from her.

Yeah.

Holy crap.

Oh, my gosh.

See, at this point, this guy has to realize that, you know, it's probably not a fair fight.

No, but they are filming this Karen without her consent, which is riling her up.

Yeah, she came at them, though.

I know.

She was locked up for this.

The older lady was.

The older lady was locked up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Because she really

got physical.

She really hurt that guy, too.

She really smacked him pretty good.

She threw hot coffee at him.

Yeah, yeah.

That's crazy.

This is sort of our society just sort of crumbling, basically, is what's happening.

Well, she got the story.

He's wearing a Palestine shirt.

That's what fired her up.

Oh, okay.

So it's political, too?

Yeah, I got political, too.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

Well,

but I do find myself

sort of watching a lot of this.

I watch mostly TikTok now, is pretty much what I watch now.

I can't stop watching.

I can't stop.

It's where I get my news of the world because it's, yo, have you been on world TikTok yet?

No.

Put that in as a search.

So instead of your algorithm giving you what you want to see, you'll actually see what the fuck is happening in the world.

It's really interesting stuff.

Or Euro talk is cool, too.

Oh, you can turn off your algorithm.

Well, you know, it'll sabotage your algorithm.

I like to turn my algorithm.

What's interesting is that we actually have some TikToks that.

I curate them.

But I like to highlight the marginalized communities, people without a voice.

Okay.

That was this gentleman's review of

Starbucks or a Starbucks off.

I'm sweating my bollocks off.

Other than that, it's all right.

His review of the Taj Mahal.

And he has to take a short shot.

It's all right.

It's all right.

I feel like it does.

Actual modern Marvel.

Yeah.

It's so cool.

That would be my review.

The eight wonders of the world.

It's all right.

I got to take a shit.

There you go.

It's fucking hot.

And you're sure that's not on your algorithm.

That's all I love.

Okay.

Here we go.

Chiropractors.

Okay.

What could possibly be causing your back issues?

Here we go.

Put your elbows together.

That's ridiculous.

Like

all of your elbows.

And then I want you to look at.

Whoo.

She's like, did my tits just break?

Yeah.

They ripped out.

You should get tits like that.

Society is crumbling.

You think for my next round of boobs, I should get these?

Fuck you.

Because I still have to get reconstruction to hurt.

I haven't.

These are my, I haven't gotten my forever boobs yet.

People say there's no such thing as perfection, but I'm fucking looking at it.

Those are perfect.

Just go with what Tom says.

I don't want to weigh weigh in on this, but.

I mean, look.

Have you ever seen a more perfect pair of tits?

I mean, they're definitely like the, there's, there's, like, she did something there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's something going on, for sure.

That's what I'm saying.

They're beautiful.

Oh, boy.

Ah.

This is a tattoo on the eyeballs.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Why?

Why do people do these things?

I can't.

Oh, man.

Yeah, but the end results are so cool, dude.

It is so worth it.

I can't even even look at that.

It's so worth it.

I can't even look at that.

To me, that just makes me so sad, really, to think that.

Well, really, you like that?

It's an artistic expression.

I just feel like, you know, the idea that you're going to realize at some point that you want to sort of change your mind.

Probably hard to do tattoo removal on the whites of your eyes, too.

It probably is.

Yeah, that's probably.

It stays in there pretty well.

You know, it's not, you can't go in and do the sort of like the Pete Davidson, just remove 200.

I saw him on Fallon the other day.

He just removed all of his tattoos.

He did like 200 tattoos, and he's been doing it for a year.

He's been doing tattoo removal, really?

Yeah, yeah.

But, you know.

Wow.

I just saw it on television.

But, I mean, it's like, I don't think you can do that with the whites of your eyes.

No, I started doing, I have a tramp stamp that I wanted to get removed.

And I started, I did once, and I was like, I'm done.

I don't want to go back for this.

It's too painful.

Yeah.

It's like a hot bacon grease.

Imagine doing your entire

200 grand he spent on tattoo removal.

Wow.

Good for him.

Has been sober.

That's cool.

Yeah.

I don't have a tattoo.

I don't have one tattoo.

Maybe you'll get your mule.

Maybe Fanny.

Get Fanny.

I could see that.

Yeah.

I could see that.

It really is

something, though.

Next time you guys are up in Canada on tour, you're going to come by the farm.

Oh, wow.

We'll go.

Where is it exactly?

Go ride some mules.

It's sort of outside of Ottawa, in the Ottawa Valley.

Now, give me the address.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I'll give it to you later for sure.

Oh, this is David Gold.

Yeah.

Y'all like eggnog?

That's not eggnog.

I love it.

I just can't get enough of it.

Yeah.

Now look at this steak.

I ate all the medium rare parts off of it when we're down to the rare parts.

She likes these videos.

Yes.

But that's good because that's a good sized piece of steak.

It is.

Throw it back in the frying pan and cook it to medium rare and it'll be nice and warm.

Go somewhere?

When I get hungry again.

No, that's why it's golden.

He's just showing you his lunch.

Right, and that he likes eggnogs.

And eggnog, yeah.

But you didn't know that before we watched that.

That's true.

That's true.

That's true.

That's eggnog.

Well, that's that's true.

You get to see some real authentic stuff now online that we didn't get in television where they had sort of professional writers and

producers putting together things that are interesting to watch.

Wait, you're trying to tell me.

Okay.

But why?

But then you get so used to that over a whole lifetime growing up watching all this really interesting stuff that it becomes uninteresting.

Yeah, yeah.

And now to see something that is just sort of

mundane is also kind of exciting.

I think

that's kind of what I'm saying about moving to the farm and just doing something normal.

It seems kind of like a little bit new.

Well, this feels subversive.

Like I'm just watching this guy David and who knows where he lives?

He's making a steak.

I was expecting it to be, that's not eggnog.

I was expecting something like that, but no, no, it was just good.

It's an eggnog and a steak.

I'll eat this part of the steak.

I can reheat it later.

And it's nice we get to see into people's places and see how people live.

And he looks like he's doing good.

So he's got a nice place there.

Makes me feel okay about the way my kitchen normally looks.

Although I'm engaged now.

I have a fiancé now, so my house is like a lot.

She helps me organize my life.

Amanda does.

Wonderful.

My kitchen used to look like that, but not anymore.

Will you get married on the farm?

It's very possible, very possible, yeah.

we haven't decided exactly what we're doing yet, but yeah,

we just got engaged right before Christmas.

It's very exciting.

Oh, Mazar, very new.

And we're traveling around in my camper van.

So

I'm sure she's really excited about that.

We're living in a van right now.

Women love vans, yeah, and they love sleeping in them.

Absolutely, absolutely.

That's how we met.

I pulled up in the van.

I said, get in.

And no, no, actually, we met

on Instagram.

So I moved back to the farm and there's a pond on the farm that, of course, being Canadian, I thought, well, I got to play hockey on the pond in the winter.

So we had the pond,

made a little video of me playing hockey on the pond, and she saw that.

She lives in the area.

She sent me a video of a do-it-yourself Zamboni, which is

what you use to

clean the ice.

You know this?

You're Canadian.

And that's how we met.

The most Canadian way to meet ever.

So Canadian.

And so now now we're,

I'm doing a stand-up tour right now.

So I was just at the mothership last night all weekend.

And then before that, we were in Dallas and Chattanooga and Oklahoma City and just traveling

doing spots.

And then we're going to take off and do

some camping

and then drive back up to Canada.

So

I have not been enjoying getting on planes as much this last few years.

So I've started driving more to the gigs.

It's kind of...

You enjoy it?

I enjoy it.

I enjoy not going to the airport, and I've been sort of routing the show so I can just kind of go one to the other.

Flying.

I love it.

It ruins everything.

I want to fly to lunch.

Like I wish I could fly everywhere.

You probably can fly to lunch, right?

You have probably have a jet parked out back or something at this point probably.

Come on, man.

Yeah, I do.

It's actually really.

This is so incredible, though.

I mean, it's just so amazing to see what you guys have.

done here.

I mean, I don't even really understand how it all works.

I mean, you must be producing a lot of shows here and

there's a few things.

Yeah.

Yeah,

and because I was at the studio where I was at the studio and

was at your house too, though, right?

Did I do the show at your house too?

Did you do it in the show?

Did you do the house one?

We did do it at the house.

I did it at your house, and then I also did it at

Williams Hills.

We had the studio.

Did you do it Willen Hills where we had our little baby?

Yeah, it was right

before you.

That was fun.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That was a great studio.

It was soundproofed.

It was

out of our home.

So I, yeah, it was.

Stressful years.

Now,

was that in the first time you set up your studio at home, obviously?

No.

Did you imagine this?

Did you visualize and

sort of manifest this entire empire?

It all came

slowly together, but each move was always kind of like an upgrade in how you do the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's just,

it's amazing.

Like, I, because I, there's there's a clip that's been kind of circulating of, you know, from my WebOVision show.

I called it WebOvision.

It was before podcasting was called Podcast.

You were the father of this stuff, Tom.

If there was no Tom Green, there'd be no Your Mom's House.

It was, well, technology was all changing, and I thought, you know, because I'd always made my own show.

Like on public access, it was me making the show.

And then,

you know, the internet was happening.

We always used to upload audio clips onto my website and things like that that back in the 90s, you know.

And my friends, Glenn Humplick, who was on my on my show, the co-host of my show, and Phil Giroux, they're computer guys.

So going back to early days growing up, doing the show back in the 90s, they were tech entrepreneurs.

And my dad was a computer guy, too.

So they were kind of always looking at

you know, video, how fast it's,

how fast the internet has to be until we can actually stream video on the internet.

So we were just kind of waiting for it to happen, you know, waiting for just to be able to send video on the internet.

And then all of a sudden it was possible.

And

so I just made Freddie got fingered, right?

And then after you make a movie like that, if you want to do a TV show, you have to build a studio in your living room.

That's the only way to make a TV show after you make a movie like that.

So necessity kind of

was the

reason for it.

But then so we did it.

But then Joe comes on the show, and

I remember he's sort of looking around.

There's this really cool clip of

him, and he says, Oh man, this is great.

You know, you don't need a network executive, someone's just got to figure out how to make money doing this, right?

And then, of course, Joe figured that out, right?

And I'm playing at a strip mall in Chattanooga.

So

isn't that wild that you were really an innovator?

You were like the first generation of DIY

television.

It's interesting because I was being in LA doing it, and

I started inviting just everybody up, you know, all the comics and stuff.

And it was really kind of fun.

But, you know, there was no revenue stream at the time.

I mean,

I had a couple little deals here and there, but they were

barely covering the cost of just my one employee and

the

cameras.

The internet was expensive, you know, the high school.

It had to be back then.

Yeah, we had to get like sort of super bonded T1 lines brought up into the Hollywood Hills and all this stuff.

But it was kind of,

yeah,

it was

pretty exciting, though.

We had a lot of weird shit happen back then because, you know,

it was live

and it was,

you got to kind of imagine going live with Joe Rogan or

you know, whoever we had on that week, and you're the only live show on the internet.

Like, there was no live live stream, Instagram didn't exist yet.

There was no live streaming on YouTube or anything.

So,

we were literally the only live show on the internet.

And,

and there was a lot of people watching.

You know, we'd get a lot of people, the stream would crash at first.

We had to, we had to figure out how to make the did you have an idea of how people were watching?

Like, did you have?

Yeah, there were, there were like millions of people watching on various

platforms because we would play, it would then be posted on my website.

And it was, yeah, you gotta remember, like, it was not even, there was no YouTube, so there was a company in San Francisco called Bitgravity.com, and they were basically a CDN content distribution network, and they were basically making servers that you can upload video to and then embed it on your website, right?

And they weren't even really making it for broadcast, they were making it for, you know, just various uses, right?

And so now we had a...

Probably like training videos and information.

Yeah, and just, you know, yeah, just websites and things like that.

And so we were sort of doing this sort of entertainment type show.

But I remember, so I had to pay per click.

And it was, you know, initially we weren't getting very many people watching.

And then this was in the MySpace era, so we then started embedding.

This was right when they came up with the idea you could get an embed code, embed the

this is probably really inside baseball here, but you could embed it on the MySpace page.

And so we started doing that.

And at the end of the month, I got a bill for $75,000

from them, right?

And I called them up, and I believe I actually was crying, actually, when I called them.

I can't.

And then they actually let me off.

Then they did a sponsorship deal with me.

They did?

Yeah, and

they didn't make me pay for it, which was really cool.

And this great guy, Barrett Lyon, who was a really innovative technology guy there, kind kind of came in and they said.

Support Defiance.

Yeah, because it was just like, you know, it was a millions and millions and millions of downloads.

And

the price structure was set for like, you know, if you have 10,000 downloads.

And I remember one day,

I replay this in my head quite often, actually.

We were sitting there in the

bedroom, you know, I had a bedroom that was sort of the studio where we had all the, you know, computers and everything.

And I'm on my computer and I get an email on the website and somebody hey we're up in San Francisco we really love what you're doing man it's like

really cool you know

you should come check out what we're doing up here and maybe do something with us and I'm like

oh that's cool yeah yeah yeah we're just doing our own thing here yeah thanks nice meeting you and then it was a YouTube these guys from YouTube

in their apartment in their apartment up there in YouTube yeah oh yeah that's cool you keep doing it.

Yeah.

In my mind, I was thinking, yeah, I'm doing something.

Oh, you do your thing.

We'll do our thing over here.

You know, that happened a few times over the years where I go, oh, maybe I probably should have gone up and met those guys.

But anyways, but no,

it was fun.

And then, you know, and then all of a sudden, you know, all of a sudden, the technology started to catch up and people were streaming everywhere.

But we had some pretty fun early days.

we we built a a switch i had some

guys working with me who were like you know kids out of film school who were like really smart and they would like figure out how to

like build

weird weird shit that we'd come up with like we had a switch under the desk that we sort of soldered like there was a soldering gun involved and it it hooked up to the whole studio and you would flip the switch and all the cameras would come on, the lights would come on, the computer would start recording.

Another computer would, you know, tell the, you know, at the end when you turned it off, it would then record it and then post it.

It was doing all this sort of

Linux sort of computer code talking to each other.

But it was really basically set up so I could get up in the middle of the night and walk out into the living room.

and flip the switch and the whole studio would come on.

I'd be by myself and then there was a switcher on the table and the phone would start ringing and I'd just do these

things.

And so I would get

This is probably why it didn't take off, I think, because I would get up and I would put clown makeup on, usually at around one in the morning, just sort of whenever I felt like it, which was usually at once a week.

I would sort of get the urge to get up and put my clown makeup on.

And then I would go out, and it was the French clown of midnight.

I would speak français, pasco, pal, français, pascu, je sweis an idienne.

And I'd go out, and I'd just every once in a while you'd tune on, and at midnight there'd be a two-hour clown speaking French to people calling.

Just French, just French, yeah.

And

yeah, so it might have been just a little too obtuse, I think, for people, but

that's so amazing, dude.

But no,

it was fun, for sure.

But

there was something fun about it being kind of, you know, just sort of just doing it.

And

we had

a lot of pretty...

Like one of the things was we had

a group of people who were essentially their life became about pranking the show, right and so there's a phone on the desk and they would call and they would say do a barrel roll which is what this thing was it was uh from uh 4chan it was this uh online yeah you know sort of uh they they're you know

a big chat room basically right so they would call up and and say do a barrel roll which was or rick rolling they would rick roll

yeah yeah and so this was uh

this was sort of the beginning of the end of the taking phone calls thing, but it was, it became kind of like a thing where it was, I wasn't really sure if I was creating this.

What would you do when they well, I would, I would feign anger to the point, like I was angry, but then I would, I would make it way worse.

Yeah.

And so we sort of had this ongoing kind of,

you know,

war basically going on, which was, which was fun.

But,

you know, I think now.

Now that there's so many places for people to prank, it wasn't, it's not as,

it sort of became a,

yeah, I mean, if you, if you, I get, I get people going on my social media now every day saying, do a barrel roll.

Like, they're still doing it.

They're still mad about it.

Yeah, yeah.

No, it was, yeah, here we go.

Here's probably.

Yeah, no, I'm not sure what, be careful what happens here.

Sometimes they said some things that you probably might want to beep out to.

Hi, um, I'm Xenon.

And hi, Tom Green.

Um,

Tom Green, can you do a barrel roll for me?

Here we go, do a barrel roll, yeah.

And uh, a barrel roll

Yeah,

a barrel roll on air

a barrel roll

roll

A barrel roll

a barrel roll

I have a feeling this probably doesn't go anywhere

by the way

but um

a barrel roll

likely goes on for about half an hour, but

that's you also dealing with it in the moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Repeating it.

Oh, yeah.

And, you know, it was...

There was this feeling of

even though we would have a lot of people watching, ultimately, when you were live, it wasn't necessarily,

I don't know, there was this sort of anonymity to it, even though there was ultimately a lot of people would watch the videos when we post them, but there was this sort of feeling that you could sort of say anything on the internet back then and it wasn't really being, you know,

watched by the

you couldn't get canceled for saying something wrong or something.

Not sure what I'm saying.

Not that we made a habit of going out and saying things you're not supposed to say, but there was this sort of feeling of like nobody's watching this, which was kind of nice, actually.

You know, it was kind of, you know, it's,

you know, you could experiment and not worry about, you know,

you know,

screwing up.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Charlie, look at this.

Look at this girl here.

Come here.

Come here, Charlie.

It's my dog, Charlie.

Oh.

Did Charlie fart earlier?

That was me, actually.

That was you.

It was probably Charlie.

Oh, hey.

It was a good fart.

I just thought that was the thing to say.

Is Charlie a boy or whatever?

Charlie's a girl, yeah.

Charlie identifies

as a girl.

She's a girl.

But

yeah,

she's a rescue.

She's named after John Steinbeck's travels with Charlie.

Oh, because we're beautiful girl.

Her first year of her life we spent out in the desert

in the van.

But

yeah, she's

like a sweet face.

Yes, rescues are special too.

She comes on stage with me on all my shows, too.

Yeah, I think I saw an image.

It's a clip of that.

She's gotten to the point now where she just sits there in the little chair and

enjoys the show.

She doesn't get thrown by noise or anything.

In the beginning, she did.

You know, in the beginning, she did.

But she's pretty cool with it now.

In fact, I'd say that she actually looks forward to the show.

I can tell at showtime, you know, when we're we're doing shows every night, she's before the show, she's then she hears the crowd.

I see her hear the crowd, and then she walks towards the stage.

And it's a nice thing.

That's very cool.

Here's something nice to kind of take us out on.

Oh,

that's a good one.

He's okay.

Oh, ah.

Oh, oh,

yeah, that's not good.

Nice.

Golf cart jumps are fun, though.

Holy shit, boys.

Is that a rascal or a golf cart?

I think that's a rascal.

That could have been a good one.

That's a motorcycle.

Oh, oh, Mech.

Oh,

it fell on him.

That's the worst.

That's really what the damage is done.

Yeah.

Oh, boy.

Oh, that's...

Oh,

that's a broken neck right there.

Come on, man.

Shit.

How many people

must be...

What are they feeding that lawn?

Have they statistically done any sort of studies on how many people have been permanently sort of

altered, paralyzed by

social media, because of

this desire, because of these phones, and of course, this sort of trend, I guess, of

us, you mean?

Yeah, because of you guys.

This is good.

All of us being jerks creating this stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Celebrating it.

Absolutely, absolutely.

Well, because people.

Uh-oh.

Pay attention to the wind.

Oh!

Wow.

You know what?

It was all worth it.

He made it

onto your mom's house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's funny.

Oh, man.

The face plant is.

Yeah.

That's always hard to watch.

Yes.

Is he okay?

I don't think so.

I know.

I don't think so.

Scranny.

Scranny.

Is there any boy coming out of his nose?

Scranny.

Scranny.

Oh, boy.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh.

So,

do you know what happened to him, or is this just your guy?

He is?

I think he's okay.

I think he's oh.

Oh, boy.

Of course, he's okay.

Well, he's sitting here.

Poor guy.

Okay, good.

Okay, good.

He's got a background.

Okay, here's the list.

He'll make that jump the next time he tries to.

This is the injury report.

Ready?

Eight broken ribs.

Pelvis broken in two spots.

Fractured C4, C5, and C7 neck.

Double brain bleed, 22 broken bones in right shoulder, medically induced coma for three days.

He's been recovering for three years now, and he's back to doing wheelies and basic stunts.

Oh, good.

Well, that's good.

Just living.

You don't want to give up on those dreams of

a crane.

Yeah, that's.

I always had sort of a...

I was a skateboarder.

I loved skateboarding, and I always did jumps and stuff, but I always sort of had something in my mind that said, okay,

that's the limit, that's the line.

We knew a lot.

Hey, Tom, did you get your period?

Did I get my period?

I got mine right before we started.

No, I haven't at the break.

I'm right on the.

I can tell that it's like.

I got to track mine.

Hold on.

I got to put it in my app so I get my days.

A lot of times our periods sync up.

Oh, yeah, nice.

It is kind of cool.

So, how's Garth Brooks doing?

Has he gotten a hold of you?

Or has there been some sort of any sort of resolution to that?

No.

You know, what's interesting is that

we heard through personal contacts that he was very unamused by this.

Yeah.

And then shortly thereafter,

he's been, there's alleged accusations by his former makeup artist that he allegedly did things to her that are very, very...

well you were sort of suggesting he was a serial killer i think is what it was what i all i

was that the suggestion or i don't know i don't i don't want to yeah i'll allegedly you suggested what i allegedly said was that allegedly that people had gone missing okay

kind of lined up perfectly with certain tour dates it was just a fun sort of observation

wasn't meant to be taken seriously i don't think i also noted that he had some very notably awkward just personality traits okay have you seen his uh facebook posts and his social media posts?

They're very unnatural.

You know what it is?

It's like the uncanny valley.

Do you know what that is?

Like when someone's robotic where they appear to be human.

Okay.

But something's just slightly off.

Like Chris Gaines was an interesting choice as well.

But I mean, you said it.

But a great country artist and incredible legend of our time, right?

It's the dark side of the force.

Because I just put out a country album.

That's why I brought it up.

So, yeah, so I was tying it into myself.

Oh, fantastic.

In addition to.

go check it out, it's called Home to the Country, and you can hear it, and it's available everywhere right now that you get country music.

And you get, this is the Tom Green documentary, which he directed.

The Tom Green Country series.

Oh, wow.

And the stand-up special, I Got a Mule.

Yep.

And an album.

And an album, yeah.

And the album is the

soundtrack to the show.

And we record it.

There's this incredible legendary band from Canada called The Tragically Hip who.

Yes, I know.

So, absolutely.

So we recorded it all in their studio and the music sounds great.

So check out Home to the Country.

Do you ever do this thing like when you introduce yourself to people?

Do you go, you know, I'm a director, producer, you know what I'm saying?

I'm a choreographer.

I got music.

I make music.

Fashion.

Yeah, with that accent.

I was just making up that accent.

No, it's good.

Yeah, absolutely.

I don't know if I do introduce myself like that, but

at one point, I think I had that on my Twitter because I saw that's what you're supposed to do.

I put director, and now it just says goofball on there.

Goofball.

Goofball's my favorite.

Hitler was a goofball.

A lot of people don't know.

Well, maybe I'll have to change it back to what it was before, I guess.

Have you ever seen, before we press play on this,

have you ever seen this?

This is Garth's introduction to social media.

I think I may have seen it on your show.

Maybe on ours, but it's been a long time since I've seen it so that we can see it.

This is when we first learned kind of how.

Because I've followed this sort of what's been going on because I watched the show.

This is when he joined us.

I guess it's official.

We're We're now on Facebook.

I really wasn't sure about this at the start.

But then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense.

She said, think of it more as a conversation.

I like that.

I see.

Okay, maybe I haven't seen that, but yeah, I...

That's one L it goes on.

It's much longer, but you know.

How do you feel watching it?

What do you feel?

It feels like it's the beginning of

sort of mainstream media colliding with independent media, and there's sort of a way that things were always written and done before, and that doesn't really translate to you also feel the discomfort inside of you.

I don't think that that guy is like a serial killer or anything like that.

You know, you have to watch more.

You need to watch more.

I

listen to each other's eyes.

I guess in my case,

hotel room.

I really because it's just such an absurd thing to suggest though which is what's hilarious about it but i would think that maybe he he would have to come on maybe it's maybe you could get chris gaines to come on the show no you know we've we've reached out multiple times okay and uh the feedback we got was uh no

oh well it's too i think i think it would probably be serve uh at least chris gaines well to come on the show and

and uh

let bygones be bygones you know i pray i'd like to see that i believe that will happen i hope it happens um tom Green, I have to go to the flyport, so I have to run.

Thanks, man.

It's always great to see you, man.

Thank you for coming in.

Appreciate you having me.

Make sure you check out the documentary, the series, the special, and the album.

Damn.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm making use of some shit.

And

maybe stop by the farm.

I want to come see the mule.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you for coming.

Thanks, Tom.

We'll see you guys next week.

Thank you.

Bitch.

O-M-G.

Tom, Tom Gaddafi for must you.

You guys are good.

Come down for muscle passenger.

You guys are good.

Fuck.

Dirty.

Bitch.

Cut down later for must you.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Cut down later for must you.

Get your passenger.

Come hurry up.

Come down later for mushroom.

Great with this box.

Passenger.

Cut down, cut down

Get your passenger cow.

Come down later for my soup.

T Raymond is boxing captain.

Come down, hundred months to

video.

O-M-T.

G-F-T-A-G-C-A-N-V.

O-M-T.

Fuck.

Come down later for my soup.

You guys are good.

Come down for Musu after

you guys are doing good fuck.

Fuck your passenger.

Tell her.

Come down later for more soup.

She raided with this boss and passenger.

Come down, come down, brush, suck.

Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.