Christina Faces Her Deepest Fears (It's Puke) | Your Mom's House Ep. 796
SPONSORS:
Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM.
To claim your Double your Roses offer, go to https://1800flowers.com/ymh.
Just go to https://LiveGood.com/YMH to save 10% on your first order.
Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to upgrade your selling today.
Hey mommies, this week it's just Tom and Tina doing what they do in the place where they do it. Valentime's Day is around the corner so the Main Mommies check out some ideas Fancy Chef has cooked up, before opening the show with a dude who's not ashamed to admit his burying skills. They also watch a user submitted happy birthday drive-thru video, recall some classic clips from William Tapley aka the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, speculate on Norm Summerton's whereabouts, congratulate YMH President Emma Hix on winning best POV Anal scene at the AVN awards, ridicule some gypsies, and Christina faces her fears and takes on a gauntlet of puke clips. They also check out some TikToks, horrible or hilarious clips, and other weird and wild vids from the darkest corners of the internets. What do you think Unc Shine is saying in Nikki Minaj clip? Let us know below!
Your Mom’s House Ep. 796
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://christinap.com/
https://store.ymhstudios.com
https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast
GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY).
Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD).
21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS).
1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms . Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK.
Chapter Markers
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:13 - Valentime's Day Right Around The Corner
00:05:49 - Opening Clip: Bury My Face In It
00:13:09 - Christina Makes A Great Point
00:15:57 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru
00:19:32 - Clip: Unc Shine Wants Some Nikki Minaj
00:26:43 - Clip: BIPOC Anthem
00:30:43 - William Tapley The Third Eagle Of The Apocalypse
00:34:32 - Clip: Norm Summerton
00:35:28 - Clip: Bruce Bruce Saying Bert's Name Wrong
00:36:31 - The Romani People
00:43:10 - Gauntlet Of Puke
00:53:23 - Horrible Or Hilarious
00:58:02 - Clip: Upper Back Pain Removal
00:58:58 - Clip: Flossing Nurse
01:01:01 - Congratulations To YMH President Emma Hix
01:02:41 - TikToks
01:16:04 - Closing Song - "I Got Diarrhea" by Ali XieZer
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Listen and follow along
Transcript
Battle Creek, Michigan.
I am coming to the Firekeepers Casino on Friday, May 9th.
The pre-sale goes live tomorrow, Thursday, February 6th, at 10 a.m.
Eastern with the code word Tommy.
Well, welcome.
Welcome to your mom's house.
CRM was supposed to improve customer relationships.
Instead, it's shorthand for can't resolve much.
Which means you may have sunk a fortune into software that just bounces customer issues around but never actually solves them.
On the ServiceNow AI platform, CRM stands for something better.
With AI built into one platform, customers aren't mired in endless loops of automated indifference.
They get what they need when they need it.
Bad CRM was then.
This is ServiceNow.
Fuck me in my head.
You know what I'm saying?
River off the barber soup.
Barbara.
You know what I'm saying?
You know what I'm saying?
Do anyone understand that?
Man.
That ghost crew.
I've missed that.
I missed that.
Ghost crew is the shit.
That was like a trip down all my favorites.
Homeless Man Gets by Gay Ghost.
It's probably one of the top clips on the internet ever.
Ever.
Fuck me in my ass, man.
Shit feels good.
Feels good when you're fucking me.
Yeah.
And he really gets into it.
Did he even have that?
Oh, for sure.
Fuck me in my ass, man.
Yeah.
Shit feels good.
Yeah.
Feels good when you're fucking me.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's
pretty great.
It is really great.
For those of you who don't know, it's a homeless guy who
thinks he's being
anally sexed.
Yeah.
And he's in an alleyway on his back and he's got his legs in the die-dye.
Yeah, yeah.
He's talking to nobody.
He's talking to nobody, but that's why he's called gay ghost.
This shit should be easy.
But what always gets me about Homeless Guy gets by gay ghost is his level of passion.
Oh, he's so into it.
Yeah.
No, I would say to most people, you've never had a real person react that way.
It's enviable.
It shows you that the imagination is stronger than anything.
Sex is in the mind.
It's in the mind.
That's what I've heard.
Yeah.
How are you doing?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm great.
I just want to make a little announcement before we go forward that Valentine's Day is fast approaching.
And gentlemen,
you should definitely get your lady the perfect four.
You get all four of my lipsticks in one parcel.
Go to Christinap.com and buy it now, right before Valentine's Day.
Perfect timing.
Absolutely.
Don't compliment that bitch.
Just buy her a gift.
I miss that.
Oh, there's my ads.
I'm so excited.
There's all kinds of new photos up on my website you're going to see for this lipstick company.
It's just...
too exciting.
Also, I would consider these, but also, I just have to give a plug.
Fancy Chef is offering incredible Valentine's Day packages.
I've seen it on his page.
He's doing strawberries.
Panties and diamonds.
What?
Yeah.
Panties and diamonds.
Yeah, yeah.
He's got multiple.
Yep, I've seen him plug them.
So if you're considering, you know,
doing that, yeah, he's got a Super Bowl package also.
But Valentine's, he's really been into.
That's really exciting.
But unfortunately, I mean, I don't know if he's changed his booking policy, but last time, if he doesn't have a mansion, he wasn't going to do house.
Mansions, yachts, castles, millionaire.
Oh, there's, I bet you those strawberries right there in the middle on that plate.
I bet you that's Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They look really good.
He's like, let's check that out.
You can get that for like
$300, $400.
He sends you those.
Yeah.
It's a good deal.
Look, I couldn't think of something like that.
Yeah.
Three strawberries positioned so beautifully.
Yeah.
It looks good.
It's spelled Valentine's Day, Chef.
Well, he's never said Valentine's Day, so I don't know why they're.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty, it's pretty old.
I love guys.
Yeah.
He's got, I've seen him.
If you scroll down,
I think, oh, right there on the car, I bet you that's a Valentine's Day post.
Oh, oh.
Valentine's Day.
I got my diamond special
and I got my platinum special.
Sure.
$350 for the platinum and up
$500 for the diamond.
Strawberries, alcohol.
Moet, Chartonnay.
Book me and book me now.
Write the chef.
Look how beautiful, ladies.
Put it on your face.
Yeah.
Write ladies, write the fancy chef100 at gmail.com.
Place your order.
Listen to me.
Good.
February 10th is the deadline.
You want my strawberries, the ranch I've been asking for,
book me now.
All right,
New York City, New Jersey, Connecticut.
Book me now.
You want this on your face?
You want your baby boy to rub it down on you?
Book me, baby.
You get it.
Wow.
You want the big boat?
Yeah.
All right, guys.
He's so good at marketing.
So fantastic.
And if you haven't tried his strawberries with ranch, do yourself a favor and get on that now.
I would love to hear of somebody ordering this just to see what the unboxing is like.
So I hope one of you lets us know that you've got the
$300 or $500 special with cream, strawberries, ranch, panties, diamonds.
It's got to be just...
Yeah.
I wonder what the margin is on that.
I wonder what he
costs canties and diamonds.
I mean, he's probably losing money for sure.
Yeah, but that's the artist he is.
Yeah, he's giving
you something.
Yeah, that's very exciting.
Guys, we have so many good things on this episode.
It's so great.
Okay, are you ready for the show to start?
I'm ready.
Let's do it.
I hope.
I mean, this woman's pussy was beautiful.
And I buried my face in it for an hour and a half, and I am not ashamed.
Yeah.
Welcome to your mom's house
with Tom Segura.
And Christina Pajitsi, Christina Pazzi.
Welcome to your mom's house.
Oh, feel that
meow, meow, meow, meow.
I mean, this woman's pussy was beautiful.
Oh, stop.
Well,
stop it.
Howard, honestly, I really don't understand.
How does this not arouse you?
Seriously.
You know what?
Yes, I'm aroused.
Okay.
Thank you.
Obviously.
Okay.
I mean,
it just makes you really understand the deep need, the sexual needs that men have.
Yeah,
they are deep.
And I also feel like this is a wonderful message that this man says.
I think that your natural recoil that I witnessed is simply due to the packaging.
In other words, if this were a different man, you'd be like,
Okay, all right, I'll go with you on this journey.
Okay.
Which man?
You all,
hold on.
Jesus is
terrible.
Thank you.
And also, it's delivery.
The way he says it is very desperate.
I mean, this woman, I think.
He's confessing.
Yeah, but it's not hot.
If it's a dude who's like, If he says it with more confidence.
Yeah, I get you.
Well, maybe he's just trying to work up to that confidence.
Do you think Henry Cavill would even say these words?
Well, he wouldn't say that.
Not my Henry.
I think he might in a different setting.
He's not going to say it in a press junket, but I think if you were, if you were sitting around, we were smoking cigars, talking about our life's work.
Yeah.
And then I was, you know, talking about his travels, he was like, oh man, that's what I was.
Yeah, that's different.
I was in the south of France.
Yeah.
And this woman's pussy was just beautiful, man.
Right.
It's different.
So I'm saying the message is the the same.
It's
the packaging and the delivery.
But, you know, with everything, Tom.
Sure.
With everything.
But let's watch this guy again.
No.
That's okay.
I got it.
I mean, this woman's pussy was beautiful.
And I buried my face in it for an hour and a half, and I am not ashamed.
Can I tell you something?
But no one's shaming him.
But here's the thing.
He is ashamed.
Like, the way he's saying it,
he's like,
I'm not ashamed.
Yeah.
That's like a shame
he feels.
Well, you think somebody shamed him for that?
Well, I'm saying his body language and the way he's saying it,
it infers shame.
You think he's raised evangelical Christian or something weird?
Maybe he still has guilt about that kind of thing.
What I also find interesting is that he's, you know, is this just, is someone asking him a question or is he just like, I got to get this out there?
That's always, it's a really good point because that's a different video.
Can you fucking stop doing that?
That's a different post.
I think I have a a little cold or something, kids.
So gross.
Nobody wants to fucking hear that.
Just for the
fucking played again.
I mean, this woman's pussy was beautiful.
I mean, yeah, I guess he's got...
Yeah, is it like a support group for men that are ashamed of enjoying women's vagines?
Is it...
I don't think it's a support group.
I really feel like
he hasn't been able to share this, and it's been inside of him for so long.
Deep shame about loving.
Because that's an old story.
I don't think it's something that happened last week.
Okay.
You know what?
I just realized, BTW.
What?
Tangent.
Why are you saying it was disgusting?
Because you're fucking so gross with your clearing your throat in the microphone.
Yeah, how fun.
When am I supposed to do it?
To turn away from the mic.
I'm a broadcaster.
I got to clear the instrument before I get it.
Turn away.
But then how will you hear it?
We've teamed up with DraftKings and with Super Bowl 59 right around the corner.
It's the perfect time to get in on the action with our partners at DraftKings Sportsbook.
Right now, they're giving all new customers $200 in bonus bets instantly after betting just $5.
This is your shot to make every last play a moment to remember.
Don't wait.
Download the DraftKings app now and sign up using the code MOM.
The crown is yours.
Stay in on the action and use your $200 in bonus bets on DraftKings' same game parlays for a shot at an even bigger payout.
Love the thrill of live betting.
DraftKings has you covered.
Bet live on in-progress games right as they happen, making watching the game even more exciting.
Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now.
New customers, use my promo code MOM and bet just $5 on any wager to get $200 in bonus bets instantly.
That's promo code M-O-M
only at DraftKings Sportsbook.
Gambling problem?
Call 1-800-GAMBBLER.
In New York, call 877-8 HOPEN-Y or text HOPENY-467-369.
In Connecticut, help is available for a problem gambling.
Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org.
Please play responsibly.
On behalf of Booth Hill Casino in Resorting, Kansas.
21 and over.
Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.
Void in Ontario.
Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance.
For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co/slash audio.
Valentine's Day is coming up, and for me, there's only one place I trust: 1-800Flowers.com.
Every year, I order stunning, high-quality bouquets from 1-800 Flowers that my wife absolutely loves.
So true.
Isn't that true?
And this year, I'm partnering with 1-800 Flowers to make sure you're a Valentine's hero with an exclusive offer for our listeners.
Double the roses for free.
When you buy one dozen, they'll double your bouquet to two dozen roses.
It's the perfect way to say, I love you without breaking the bank.
Trust me, 1-800 Flowers always delivers.
Gene, I loved the black roses that you got me for this Valentine's Day.
You really know me.
Flowers, man, you can't lose when you get flowers.
No.
All roses from 1-800 Flowers are picked at their peak, cared for every step of the way, and shipped fresh to ensure lasting beauty.
Think ahead this year.
When you order one dozen, they'll double the rose bouquet for free.
A great value.
Bouquets are selling fast, so lock in your order today.
Win their hearts this Valentine's with 1-800flowers.com.
To claim your double your roses offer.
Go to 1-800Flowers.com slash YMH.
That's 1-800Flowers.com slash YMH.
Go ahead.
What?
I'm forgetting my fucking point.
Okay, listen, listen, listen.
What I'm trying to say, Your Honor, is that I severe, and I, I have to thank Dr.
Drew Pinsky.
Yeah.
Number one, he really alerted me.
to the fact of how sexually motivated men are.
And I really didn't understand this.
I was so naive to it my entire life up until about five years ago.
I really did not understand.
And in fact, I saw like a TikTok or something
where this guy was like, men and women talk to each other for different reasons.
Okay, so for instance,
men think that when a woman talks to them, it's because they're interested in them sexually.
Okay, but women, from our point of view, I'll talk to anybody most of the time when I'm in a good mood.
I wouldn't say that, but like I, I, I talk to men, and I don't even to men, I would think disgusting, vile.
I'm never going to have sex with you.
There's nothing sexual, but I didn't realize that every time I was talking to a dude, they're like, this girl wants me.
Like, why else is she paying attention to me?
She wants to bang me, obviously.
I mean, I guess, like, in the past, you would always be like, oh, you think he's hot, you flirty with him?
I'm like, no, I just,
you know what I mean?
I just like, I, I like people.
I don't think of it.
I don't think of you as a people person.
I think this is a.
Not now.
I used to be.
I think the older I get,
I'm tired.
I'm weary.
I only want to hang out with types of folks I really gel with.
Like, if we're not on the same frequency and you're a normie or you're,
you know what I mean?
You're, you're low vibe.
I can't, I can't.
Yeah.
I can't explain myself to you.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, I think, well, but some of this is like the context of a conversation.
So like, if a man approaches a woman, right, a lot of times, like, in other words, you're sitting there and someone just walks over and talks to you.
That's usually a sign of interest from the man.
For sure.
Yeah.
But this guy on TikTok was like, I just assume that when a woman talks to me,
she must like me, like have an interest in me.
Otherwise, because men are the way, like men don't talk to women unless they're interested, right?
Like, do you just talk to random broads?
I mean, I don't, I definitely don't think that a woman who says something to me is interested in me.
I think that's a crazy thought of that guy.
But I also think that there's different types, like there are guys
who are usually
off when they think like that.
Oh, so maybe this guy was off.
I can't imagine anybody on TikTok is off.
Yeah, I think a guy is definitely
not used to being around women if his first thought when a woman talks to him is like, This woman likes me.
Yeah, because he was saying, I don't talk to a woman unless I'm interested.
All my audio just cut out.
I don't have any audio.
Do you hear that?
Oh my God, did you hear that?
I didn't.
So there's
only one good
happy birthday, Governor, that came in this week, but it's a good one.
All right.
I love these.
I wish, I want to see more and more and more.
Please send them in.
It's a British accent, and you say happy birthday, and you get your coffee.
Welcome to Starbucks.
Are we striding anything to eat for y'all?
No, thank you, love.
Could I get a Venti hot pistachio latte, please?
Wow.
Yeah.
Could you make that with moose soup?
With what?
I'm sorry.
How do you say in English?
Oat milk.
Okay.
English.
What else?
Oh,
she's Danish is talking to me now.
You know, I'm trying not to eat carbs.
When I see it, though.
No carbs in that.
Oh.
I know.
When I see it, I think just let me eat you one time.
I better not, love.
Let's just stick with the latte, please.
Anything else?
That's it.
Okay, come on up.
Thank you.
Happy birthday.
Good morning.
What's everybody?
How are you?
O-F-A-R-T.
Let me grab.
Okay, sniff that one.
Thank you.
Oh,
you know what?
There you go, love.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Come and tap for me.
Oh, I didn't tap.
Let me try again.
Thank you.
There's that latte for you.
Thank you.
Happy birthday.
Wow, that was great, man.
Thanks, Landon.
Wow.
He pulled out the hits.
Yeah.
Sniff that one.
Moose soup.
That's a deep cut.
Moose soup.
Let me eat you one time.
Hey.
That's great.
Thank you so much.
That really was outstanding.
Really great.
So follow Landon's lead.
As British as you can get, the stronger the Cockney accent, the better.
And you have to get happy birthday.
You got a happy birthday in there.
He got in way more than that.
I mean, like,
if you guys are afraid to do the accent, we understand.
Maybe, can we open it up to any accent of your choice?
Sure, sure, that's good.
Because he did kind of descend into Australian.
Yeah,
he was all over the place.
She was definitely like, this guy's insane.
She kept a smile on her face, like, yeah, she knew he was a crazy person.
But sure, yeah.
Go ahead and do different accents.
That's fine.
You just have to get a happy birthday.
Yeah, but just don't do an American accent.
No.
Do some accent, you know?
Yeah.
You can do Canadian, eh?
It's super easy.
Yeah, do it.
Or you do, you do it as a Laria Baldwin.
How do you say
he said in English?
How do you say
he goes?
How do you say in English?
Oat milk.
Fuck.
That's insane.
How do you say oat leg?
Oh, my God.
In my country, we order, we say happy birthday.
Okay.
Now is a good time.
Yeah, but no, what you were saying is, though, you were right, though, is that there is a constant hum that exists in men that is a sexual drive.
That I think women's is like, can be turned on and off depending on their connection to somebody, but a man's just like,
just stays there.
It's non-static.
Well, also, it's contingent on our moon cycles as well.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But here's a perfect example of how a man is always feeling it.
Nigga Minaj.
What?
What did he just say?
He was
like, what did he even say?
Well,
Nicki Minaj, but it sounded like something else.
Yeah.
Nigga Minaj.
Well shake it in my face.
Shake that pussy in my face.
Straight up.
Shake that puss in my face.
Yeah.
I got it.
Make me happy.
And look, check this out, y'all.
Oh, God.
That girl I seen to the store?
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like them little drawers she wearing.
Them little bikini.
This man's message has not changed in a decade.
He's in his 60s, by the way.
You know?
Yeah, put your bikini and your booty and your ass in my face, girl.
I'm going to pass my tongue in your ass like a pit bull.
Straight up.
Got it.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to pass my tongue in your ass.
And I'm going to get me that taco.
Well, I got it.
And I'm going to eat it.
He's going to put my taco in my ass.
Yeah, and then eat it.
That's my baby girl.
Now, but here's a perfect example, though.
This guy, this is what I was trying to tell you earlier.
This guy,
if a woman was like, I'm sorry, where's the shell station?
He'd be like, she's trying to fuck.
You know what I mean?
So that's what I'm saying.
Guys who are like, if any question is asked, they go, would you like me?
Yeah.
This is an example.
But I do feel my younger in my 20s.
Nigga Minaj.
He loves this.
Can I ask you something stupid?
Nick Minaj.
I think you're going to have a stroke.
You better.
It's Nikki Minaj.
But is he saying it deliberately the wrong way?
No, I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Wait, play it again.
I want to hear it.
Is it N-word Minaj or is it Nicki Minaj?
That's what came in.
Come on.
This could be our whole new thing: what is he saying?
He knows it's Nikki Minaj.
He does know that.
Nicki Minaj.
He's no way he was like, I'll just call her that.
That's fucking so crazy.
Right?
Yeah.
You know how to add that to my drop folder, I think.
Definitely.
Yeah.
I have a second.
One more.
Once more.
Okay.
Ready?
Cool.
I really want to hear it.
Listen, listen.
Okay.
Here we go.
Nigga, my name.
Yeah, he's definitely dropping.
Do you think she would hear that be like, oh, that's interesting?
Nice way to be called out.
Thank you for saying that to me.
We all take supplements, or at least we know we should.
But why are so many supplement companies charging outrageous prices for products that aren't even that impressive?
It's frustrating and honestly unacceptable.
That's why I want to introduce you.
to LiveGood, a brand that's shaking up the supplement industry.
LiveGood believes everyone deserves high-quality supplements without the crazy markups.
They offer premium products made by top natural health experts, cutting out the middleman for the lowest prices.
From organic super greens to protein powder and skincare, all their products are top quality and affordable.
No wonder they're the fastest-growing supplement brand with over 1.5 million customers.
Ready to make the switch and start saving?
We'll make it even easier for you.
Use our link and you can save an additional 10% off your first order on top of the already lowest prices.
Just go to livegood.com/slash ymh to save 10% off your first order.
That's livegood.com slash YMH.
Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your health without overspending.
Gene, I have Shopify, the app on my phone.
All weekend long, I could see when I was selling my lipsticks.
It's so cool.
Your lipsticks are on fire, and Shopify is telling you that it...
it's really working.
Nobody does selling better than Shopify.
It's home to the number one checkout in the world.
And the not-so-secret secret, ShopPay, which boosts conversions by up to 50%,
meaning fewer abandoned carts and more sales.
If you're serious about growing your business, your commerce platform needs to be ready to sell wherever your customers are, on the web, in your store, in the feed, and everywhere in between.
Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify.
Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Aloe and Skims use.
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash mom's house, all lowercase.
It's it's the same thing that jeans use to sell her lipstick go to shopify.com slash momshouse to upgrade your selling today shopify.com slash m-o-m-s-h-o-u-s-e
wow that was wild um
so trump's been in office now um not long i thought that was a good segue um
he might call her that
who's that singer the one with the big ass that's been singing.
I like her.
So he's been in office signing executive orders every day.
He's on fire.
On fire.
Deporting people.
Yeah.
Free and pardoning people.
Changing military,
getting the transgenders out.
Just a lot of shit.
But there's only two genders now, which is so boring.
I know.
We got to change our bathrooms back.
But this is what I love about how art
reacts to political climate or big things that happen in the world.
That's what artists do.
They react, right?
Yes.
There's war or there's somebody in power and then you get an artist maybe paint something incredible or a movie comes out that touches on this subject.
And in this case, a song that speaks, I think, to so many people.
I've just been, this has been on repeat in my car.
Beautiful.
So gorgeous.
Black and indigenous people of color.
Black and indigenous people of color.
Lesbian, gay, by transgender, queer.
Lesbian, gay, by transgender and queer.
Asian American, Pacific Islander.
Asian American, Pacific Islander
Latino Hispanic Romani and Creole Latino Hispanic Romani and Creole
We all
have a place
in this world
We all
have a place
in this world
So
that woman, though, wow, what a beautiful song.
That is
that?
Molly Gawler.
She posts videos of her and her family band, the Gawler family, playing instruments.
This is
a video where she composed about black, indigenous, and people of color.
She only has 85 subscribers on YouTube, so hopefully that number goes up.
And this video has amassed over 2,000 views.
I think it's really resonated with people.
Well, I liked she brought up the Romany people, which
I know.
That's a little wonderful.
That's why she probably lost half the people that liked the song.
But then she lumped in the Romani with the Creoles, which I thought, are Creole people, are they discriminated against?
Oh, maybe.
I didn't realize they were marginalized.
Are they marginalized?
The Creoles?
I really didn't think of them as a Cololes.
Feels like a good question for Nikki Minaj, but I feel like the thing that is really nice about this is that, you know, it just, it taps into every group.
Yes.
But I don't know.
And I worry because I worry that she has left out some people.
And, you know, like, how do you cover all your
bases here?
I don't know.
I'm upset.
I don't know.
i'm sure the comments are like you forgot oh you forgot somebody
can you imagine how exhausting she is in real life this woman that's what i thought about as she was singing i was like man if you if you made me spend time with this person how quickly i would unravel
hold on let me go there with you because i agree wait what's worse
this broad
yeah because let's round out her personality it's you think she's just super lefty and super duper like, I'm vegan, I don't eat gluten.
It's everything, dude.
I'm support, and she's got the flags on her lawn.
Oh, that part really gets me.
Playing the chess as an instrument.
Oh, hold on.
Isn't that appropriation?
That's like a Native American.
Well, she needed some rhythm.
Yeah.
You can't say anything remotely offensive.
She turned the comments off on this video.
Oh, boy.
I cannot imagine.
I can't.
But hold on.
Is it her or like born-again Christian who's always talking about Jesus?
I would rather be with a born-again Christian.
Wow.
Wow.
Maybe because I have a specific person to compare them to, and this is a broad description.
Yeah.
But you'd have to show me the specific born-again Christian.
What if it's the Denver airport guy?
Oh, fucking.
I would love to be with that guy.
Are you kidding me?
Okay.
Really?
But he's talking about conspiracies and the Denver airport.
Looks like a phalic symbol and
we have him and Obama and the three things on the flag.
Is he on my thing?
Yeah, he is.
The videos tab.
Oh, okay.
Hold on.
I wish we could get the two of them together.
Oh, my God.
He is the fucking greatest.
He is the greatest.
Oh, yeah.
There he is.
Vote for Donald.
Remember, he was really
so fucking happy right now.
Yes.
This or the other one?
Right.
Yeah.
But they're both musicians.
Vote for the Donald.
Trump is the man.
Let's put our nation
into his head.
Okay, just...
Mike Pence and Donald
make a great team.
Just songwriting alone, this is a way better song.
I disagree, Tom.
I disagree.
I like, can I tell you why?
Here's why.
This is a lot of accoutrement.
Okay, it's kind of like a stand-up comic that needs props.
Like, he needs the background with Donald.
He needs his little keyboard.
That woman was out in the snow with nothing but snow in her chest.
Yeah, but the song, the lyrics, lyrics spitting bars compared to that.
I mean, this is a cipher.
He fucking wins.
I think sophistication, the woman, the indigenous people rap.
Also, I think she's more sophisticated.
Sorry, that's what I'm saying.
That's insane.
Also, do you not like insight?
I mean, this is just a brief commentary on a new flag created for the Obama campaign.
Now, up here on the left, we have the official logo of the Obama campaign, and that's a big O, which, of course, stands for him.
And below that, there are several stripes
which indicate the homosexual movement.
Yes.
First of all, I like learning.
And below Obama's logo, we have two stripes and three stripes, which look much more like streaks of blood.
Some people don't like this kind of perversion of the American flag because it is very satanic.
Yeah.
Welcome to Revelation Unraveled.
I'm your host, William Tapley, also known as the third eagle of the apocalypse,
the prophet of the end times.
On this program, I want to talk about contraception
and how using that will prevent you from being raptured.
Oh, shit.
Last week, the Pope
made news headlines by saying that you cannot prevent AIDS through the use of
And of course, he was correct.
I mean,
you want to have dinner with this?
Fuck yes.
Can you please pass the maple syrup?
I mean, you can't.
I would be enamored.
I would never stop asking questions.
Let me ask you this: how the fuck have we never contacted this man?
Have we?
We've been trying.
We've been trying for years.
Yeah, he will not respond.
He won't respond.
No.
God damn it.
You know who we should check in on?
Revolution, digital market.
Income.
Fed smoker.
Let's see.
I pray our dear leader picks the honorable RPC to replace RBG.
RPC to replace RBG?
I'm not sure how our RPC would be.
I read the names over yesterday.
Ones that were appointed, but I
forgot now what their initials are all about.
I mean, if
we can't get William Tapley, the third eagle of of the Apocalypse, on the show, what the fuck are we even doing?
What's our incredible?
You know who we should check in on, too, is a pig with tits.
Oh, Norm Summerton.
Yeah, Norm.
I wonder what he's into these days.
Will you look into him, Josh?
I'm so curious.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, fuck.
I would hang out with Norm Summerton over the third Eagle of the Apocalypse.
Yeah, he's a good time.
He's such a good time.
Those are crazy tips.
He's got.
I know I do.
Yeah, is that just from those suction cups?
I mean, a lot.
You do them all the time.
That's so crazy.
I didn't realize you could just do that.
Dude, he just straight up made those tips.
Yeah.
Or is he taking hormones, too?
I don't think so.
It's just the...
He had some, probably some, you know, natural skin and meat there.
And then he just puts those ticcups in and he fucking works them six, seven hours at a time.
Yeah.
But that actually is a really great example of how commitment and discipline is how you get results.
You can't just wish.
You need a strong base.
Like, I feel like Bert, Bert, Burt Kirschner, would be an ideal candidate for tit cups.
Don't you feel like he's got a good bass coat of tit meet, probably?
Oh, yeah.
And then it would just take six or eight hours, like you said, because he's got D-cups.
Now that you said that, I have to show you this.
Sure.
I did a couple of dates with Burt Kirscher.
You ever know Bert Kircher?
Yeah.
And let me tell you, it was a dude who played the drums,
the guitar,
and the keyboard.
And the thing was,
he was good.
Okay.
He was good.
They're laughing at me.
Burt Kersher.
Well, you know, you know these names.
You know what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm talking about right now when I say that.
Nigga, my naive.
Wow.
You really like that one.
It's the best thing I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Vote for the Donald.
He is the man.
See, we're singing that one.
I know.
Hold on.
Indigenous people.
Rhinocreons.
You're raining gypsies.
Gypsies suck, but everybody else is welcome.
No.
No.
I know.
It is funny how the Romani are actually loathed by all of society.
Most.
Yeah.
Most.
Well, because they are thieving con artists.
Well, they teach their kids to steal
and rob and be scumbags.
That's a horrible culture.
Horrible culture.
Yeah, it's a horrible culture.
It truly is.
I've seen the show about them: the gypsies.
Was that remember my big gypsy wedding?
Yeah, those are like
travelers in the states, though.
That's like West Virginia gypsies.
Romani Shale.
Yeah.
But if you go to see the real
Romani people of like Europe, they're fucking the worst, man.
They're just pariahs.
They are.
But the Romani Shells here are, okay, let me just tell you why I got a little problem with them.
Yeah.
It's like they do teenage brides.
Remember those girls.
They get married at like 14.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like guys.
I clean it's real important to clean.
He out there doing work.
Yeah.
Comes home to a clean trailer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the highest aspiration a woman can have is to clean the trailer and get married at 14.
Yeah.
And then we're going to have the biggest fucking wedding you've ever seen.
Yeah, and her dress is going to be bling, bling.
Remember that?
That was like the big thing is that it's a shiny dress.
That's so sad.
Like, that's the highlight of your dad.
Look what he's wearing with the hat sideways at his wedding.
I know.
Somebody one time put our faces on that one.
That's pretty funny.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Yeah.
I'm Romani Shale, and they're always fighting and drinking.
Sleeveless vest.
Trash.
Fucking trash.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
I'm 20.
I got six kids.
That's cool.
That's good.
I'm a princess.
I'm a blinged out.
Yeah, because you're like 12 years old and you still have this fantasy of being a...
But I don't know if the your Eastern Blocker gypsies,
they don't do this kind of shit.
No, no, no, no, that's what I'm saying.
This is like an American way.
That's an American way, yeah.
No, the dude, when I went to Budapest the first time,
I did this small theater and I was like, it's great to be here.
And I, you know,
they were so receptive.
The audience was so great.
And I was like, I've been learning some um
some hungarian and i just go like rochaziga and they were like whoa
and they cheered like they cheered
which is rotten gypsy yeah rotten gypsies and then i also said it to my driver and he goes whoa whoa he goes be careful say that outside they kill you yeah well and also we were in italy and i think to our driver i was like oh what do you call gypsies and he was like whoa whoa you're not allowed to say gypsy anymore and i go you can't even say gypsy what are they no no no they're like romani right the romani people blah blah like that's a very and but then he was like you know the jews have kind of taken over this neighborhood
well better if you go over across the bridge yeah to that place over there there's not so many of them here we're like oh thank you
well you know everybody what we covered it on this show that hungary was the first to really ban the study of multi-genderism and transgenderism and all this stuff Looks like our country followed suit.
There's only two genders officially now.
Well, he's a big fan of Victor Orban.
Trump is.
He's been like, that guy gets it.
Yes.
Because Orban also was like, you're not welcome here.
That was one of his messages.
He's like, if you're looking for a place to go, do not come to Hungary.
He's like, we do not want you.
We have fences and we will shoot you if you jump over them.
Well, it looks like we're going that way.
And also, we speak Hungarian.
And if you want to be here, fucking learn it yeah um yeah yeah well we're doing it too yeah
so that's cool there he is there's there's the homie yeah
get out of my country you pig gypsy pig yeah this is great that's the kind of guy i'd like to have a beer with by the way oh are you kidding me i would love to just hear him be like yeah there's no one around what's up yeah
these gypsies he would say yeah he'd say shiny he would say nicky minaj for sure yeah yeah
and then the thing when you do do that is like when someone's like that, you go, yeah, yeah, man.
What else?
Yeah.
Very cool, Tom.
Very cool.
Vote for the Donalds.
No, it's in my head.
You're right.
You're right.
The Vote for the Donalds song is a real banger.
It is a banger, dude.
It's a really good one.
Yeah.
It's a really good one.
Try to tell you what I've, well, you do know what I've been doing.
And,
okay.
Yeah, tell me.
All right.
Are you ready?
Yeah, tell me.
Well, tell the audience.
So,
you know, when you go through a traumatic event like I did with cancer,
I don't know, my shrink told me, like, you go back and you look at your fucking, your traumas, like your past stuff, and you reprocess things, right?
Yeah.
So I, it is puke season, right?
This is norovirus time.
We're in it.
And I was starting to get real phobic again.
of puking, of vomit, like to the point like around Christmas, I was getting real nervous.
Like the emetophobia was bad like i was fixating on it like are the kids gonna puke is this gonna is this gonna happen so
i've been in treatment for my phobia of vomiting and it's been like a three week to a month long it's a real thing i should say too because i know there's people who are like what the fuck and it's like
who has witnessed this it is a real like it's a real phobia that is yeah deep-seated and genuine.
Well, I'll explain usually what happens with people when you have a phobia.
It's an irrational fear of something that at some time
your wires got crossed at some point in your life and you made a causal relationship between vomiting and like the worst thing happening in your life, right?
So around the time when I was a little kid, lots of shit going on.
I puke and in my childlike brain, I conflate the two things, vomiting and like the worst thing happening in your life.
It's like when somebody gargles pee and then they jizz.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So like, okay, so I've been working with this new therapist
and I think I've turned a corner because I was watching a movie the other night and I watched somebody puke.
No, it was the witch show, the Mayfair Witches, and the dude puked.
And I was like, Tom, I just watched that person puke.
You did.
And I didn't feel a fucking thing.
And so I'm ready to be put to the test.
I'm ready.
And as you guys know, for many years, I've been very afraid of watching puke.
Every time there's been puke on this show, you throw your headphones off and you go I don't want to see it I don't want to hear it and you scream at me.
Hold on.
Let me just get like let me get my mantra because I'm programmed to think certain things.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm supposed to be indifferent to puke.
You say you say I'm indifferent.
I don't hate it.
I don't love it.
I'm just it's it's like kind of a neutral.
That's the word.
It's I'm indifferent.
That's unpleasant.
That's unpleasant.
And that's what I say to myself.
That's unpleasant.
Are you ready to be put on the body?
It's like any other body function.
Okay, hold on.
Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm fucking.
Okay.
Here we go.
Let's go.
Let's fucking.
What's that movie?
The guy's eyes are open with the toothpicks.
Clockwork orange.
I will.
Okay, here we go.
I'm ready.
Okay.
Is she pregnant?
I did it.
I'm indifferent.
I'm indifferent.
Elder kids in the back.
That sucks.
That are kids.
Alright.
That's so much.
Okay, now I'm getting a little uncomfortable.
Okay, okay.
All right.
I just, the repeatedness of it.
That was funny.
Kind of funny, right?
I think the repeatedness of the first one spooked me.
That was like silly.
Try.
Oh,
that was easy.
What did he throw in?
That's not cool.
Okay, so that doesn't bother me.
Oh my God, I'm actually laughing for the first time in my life.
Guys, this is huge.
That's an unpleasant thing.
Yeah.
That's like a body function, like anything else.
It's unpleasant.
His laughing was very contagious, though.
That was fun, right?
I liked her sound, actually.
I was laughing at her going, ugh.
He was laughing so hard.
Hey, can you keep going?
Can you congratulate me?
You're doing great.
I'm not even sweaty.
Feel the palm.
Feel it.
I'm usually fucking, I'm cold because it's freezing in here, but I'm not.
Can you keep the push?
Hold on.
Can I just talk about why I didn't like the first one a little bit?
Yeah.
Because it was like, it happened, it happened.
And I think like her kid being there, and then I could see her, and then I sympathized with it because I was like, oh, God, now I feel feel like puking, watching her puke.
So I don't know if it was so much a fear as, oh, God, now I feel like puking.
Is that, but that's what normal people get, right?
Like, yeah, if you see, like, if someone pukes around you in real life,
a lot of people, I get triggered by that.
If someone vomited, I was like, I feel like you, because I started to feel my stomach lurch because I was sympathizing.
Yeah, yeah, that could happen for sure.
But Tom, I'm really fucking.
I'm impressed.
This is a this has been, just so you guys know, like weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks of therapy and therapy and therapy.
And every night I have to like listen to this.
Yeah, it's really good.
I listen to the programming and I've been like
okay, you ready for another one?
Yes, okay, here we go.
Hold on, okay,
okay, hold on a second.
My bad, that was the wrong one.
I've heard that when you open the can, it can squirt.
I do quite like a bit of squirting, yeah,
squirting.
Oh, no, I don't like watching him feel it.
I don't like this.
The build-up, I don't like this.
I don't like this.
No.
No.
Because
I'm sympathizing.
Because I start to feel it.
I understand.
But I'm not afraid of it.
I just start to feel sick myself.
Nauseous yourself, yeah.
But it's a distinction because in the past it was just terror.
Yes.
Yeah.
Play Play it or move to the next one?
No, I can go on to the next.
Oh, okay.
I don't want to.
Well, no, let's just do it.
I'm going to clock recording.
It fuck it.
All right.
Remember.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm in.
This is unpleasant.
This is just an unpleasant body function.
I'm indefinitely neutral.
I feel neutral.
What is it that he's eating?
It's like canned fish.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't like that.
Oh, I don't like that.
Okay, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't like the leadout.
Let's go to the next one.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
He's already puked.
Yeah.
And he's at a game.
Just sitting in the stand.
Stupid.
Oh, my God.
I'm laughing.
I've never laughed.
Can you imagine him leaving this fucking thing?
It's so much, too.
Like, how he walks out of there.
Look at the cameras behind him.
People are like.
And he's trying to be discreet.
He's like, hold on, I'm coughing.
What would you do, though, if you had to puke this much in public?
You just do that, I guess.
Yeah.
Although, I wouldn't want it all over myself.
I would turn to the aisle.
Is he just drunk?
Is he too drunk?
He's absolutely hammered.
Yeah.
He's probably had 40 beers.
Yeah.
It looks like beer.
He started at 9 a.m.
and this is like an 8 p.m.
game.
Yeah, because I'm not seeing a lot of food.
I'm just seeing like
he eats too, believe me.
We don't want
So, how do we get in?
I don't want kids to get the quickest, easiest way.
You don't let them know about it.
You just go,
oh.
Oh, God.
Woo!
That one's for Tommy.
That was for you, bro.
Fuck.
Oh, don't do that.
Don't do that.
Oh, fuck.
That was horrible.
You You guys can eat shit.
That was disgusting, though, that he sucked it out of the kids.
That's just gross anyway.
I have one more bonus one for you.
Oh, God.
So here's what happened.
Yeah.
So yesterday.
I'm indifferent.
It's just a body function.
I'm going to set this up.
Come on, it's fine.
Let me just do my program.
Okay.
It's just a body function.
It's fine.
It's like anything else.
Okay, let's go.
Yesterday, I was in the gym, and
we did this
kind of of cardio circuit, high intensity thing.
Yesterday?
Yesterday.
Yesterday.
And it kicked my ass.
And then
I think my conditioning is trash.
So I'm trying to get better at it.
So then today,
I didn't sleep very well, you know, so I was pretty tired.
I got up early.
I went back to the gym.
I didn't, I had just a little, I had a little peanut butter, a little fruit.
And
we lifted.
And I thought we were just doing that.
Because typically, if you go like high-intensity cardio one day,
you know, the next day you'll do maybe like steady state, like lower intensity before, you know.
So, but we did it, we did a different one again.
And
the thing was, you run 500 meters and then you get on the ergo skier, 20 calories, and you just do it at like a high clip, right?
And then you one minute recovery, you do it again.
So I did the first round, and I pushed it.
I probably should have like done it at a
steadier pace, but I did it hard.
So, on the second round,
I do it again
a little slower because I'm starting to get fatigued.
And I'm like,
and then I'm
do the minute recovery, and then I'm about to get on for round three.
And I was like,
Man, like, I just
like my heart rate is spiking, I feel weird.
And then I sent this to Zolo.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, that actually makes me laugh.
That's an unlooky's making fun of you.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, enough already.
How much are you going to go, Tom?
Ugh.
Are you listening to Nikki Minaj?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're too hot.
You're overheated.
More?
You're going to go back for seconds?
Jesus.
Yeah, your head is red.
Beat red.
Ugh.
It was just water that came out?
Yeah, I know.
I got it.
Fluid.
I'm watching.
I know.
My eyes are open.
I'm not freaking out.
Hey, I'm not freaking out.
I don't like it.
It's unpleasant.
What you gotta say for yourself?
He's such a shitbird shitbird.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what?
I fucking did it, dude.
Pretty cool, right?
Right?
Yeah.
No, I did it.
Hello, can you guys clap for me?
I fucking conquered my phobia.
That was huge.
48 years of severe emetophobia.
Yeah.
I just watched clips.
Yeah.
You watched me throw, I threw up into a trash can.
It was unpleasant.
Yeah.
But the world didn't end.
I didn't feel like climbing out of my fucking skin.
Keep your foot on the gas
with what you're doing.
Oh, I thought you said there's more to watch.
No, I meant like, don't go, this is the end of the road.
Are you kidding me?
This is just the beginning.
Yeah.
Like,
I mean, I don't, like, again, I don't feel terrified like I did in the past.
It's unpleasant to watch.
Like, Niana, was it how Niana felt preparing the clips?
Like, is she a metaphobic too, or just
I think it just kind of grossed her out.
Right.
Like, you just feel like, ooh, if I watch this long enough, I will puke too.
Yeah.
That's so weird.
Let's just do something funny to
balance out of this.
You swear?
Yeah.
Oh, you're going to play more puke.
Oh, a forklift.
Good.
Definitely not America.
Nope.
Oh,
watch it.
Homie, you got fucked up, bro.
Fuck.
Whoa.
Can I tell you what went wrong here?
Yeah,
I think the object is too tall.
The fucking
the object is too tall to be on a forklift palette.
There is no palette.
By the way, the speed with which that hit him.
Can we see it again?
So, that is, for people listening, or even if you're watching this, what appears to happen is that this structure is
like, it's like a metal structure that is,
in the ground, probably cemented into the ground.
Oh, you know what I mean?
Is it?
Yeah, okay.
And they're trying to like use
the forklift, yeah, well, look where we are.
They're just like, you know,
not a good idea, boys.
Just uh drive the forklift into it.
This looks like Kyrgyzstan.
Pull it out.
This is definitely a stand.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck.
And everybody's standing around?
Yeah, well, he's standing in a real bad spot, obviously.
Yeah.
It was welded to the ground.
And then
there's a really cool
aftermath explanation in here.
I'm not even going to read it.
That's okay.
I don't need to hear it.
Okay.
Here we go.
Let's go to the next one.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
I hate these, dude.
I fucking hate these.
I hate.
well, if you're squeamish, look away now.
And he's not even a kick because he's lost his foot.
I've seen that in person, by the way.
Of course, that's what that's what happens at the beginning.
I went to one and I saw it happen in person.
It's like MMA or this Muay Thai.
This is kickboxing, yeah.
I think, yeah, kickboxing.
But I saw it at a UFC fight.
Hold on, can I brush my hair?
I just feel like brushing, it's like too crunchy.
Sure,
it's bothering me.
Okay.
Hair looks better.
Right?
Yeah.
It's like softer looking.
It's a good haircut.
It's just a good color, too.
Alan Martinez.
Shout out.
Always, homie.
Always.
Same guy I've been going to for fucking 30 years.
That's pretty crazy.
He's my homie.
Yeah.
What?
Nothing.
I just was thinking about how horrific these last two were.
Hopefully, this next one has a little humor to it.
Here we go.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, I like these.
Fuck.
He's not good.
There's no way he's okay.
Was that an e-bike?
It sounded like...
Crew claims he is still in one piece and went back to try the jumps again to complete them.
What the fuck?
What the fuck, idiot?
That looked so rough.
That looked really rough, man.
Yeah, it's terrible.
These are all three have been horrible, by the way, so far.
Yeah.
Oh, Oh, fuck.
I'm falling out of the tree.
Oh, shit.
Where's that guy?
Oh, fuck.
Oh!
At least there was water down there.
Yeah, but everything broke before he hit it.
Well, the rocks didn't help, but yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, is it just that this guy is like a tree, a tree climbing and
I don't know.
Let's see what his injuries were.
Here we go.
See, 60 feet he fell.
He was trying to jump from the tree, but slipped after he broke his arm.
Okay.
That's it?
That's it.
Not too bad.
Probably the rocks did that.
But yeah.
That was a nice one to wrap that up on.
Jesus Christ, guys.
That gave me the chills.
Yeah.
That sucks.
But he thought he was going to jump from a tree 60 feet into like river water.
That's just inherently not a good idea.
He didn't think it was coming down.
He was just like, I'm going to jump from the one tree to the next.
Oh, he wanted to jump to another tree or did he want to jump into the water?
I I think he was trying to jump to a tree.
What, he likes squirrels?
He's not a, he can't just do that.
People don't do that.
Okay, let me show you one that is funny because I have one that I send in.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Upper back pain removal.
That's what that's what this says.
Yeah, Removal.
With a fucking bomb going off.
Yeah.
There's no way this is a proven thing in medicine.
No.
If you have back pain, take a hammer and just club the shit out of somebody in this spot.
She probably has like a hunch, like a hump, a hump, right?
Isn't that usually a fat pad or like
me, bro?
Yeah.
Pretty cool, right?
Yeah, dog.
That's fucking ill, bro.
By the way, when you were in the hospital, would you have liked to have seen this
as you were recovering?
This nurse is flossing
on her patient and then just wiped her mouth on the patient's hand,
flossing over this patient.
Ugh.
Insane.
It's insane.
Well, what's crazy is who's filming her?
Is it that how does she not notice that?
Right.
And you're doing this in front of the visitor and the patient?
The patient's friend recorded her flossing.
Yeah.
You're animal, dude.
This is in Ottomo, Iowa.
What?
At the Uttamore Regional Health Center.
He was being treated for congenital heart disease.
Oh, my God.
This poor man.
And yeah, she was fired.
Yeah, no kidding.
Because I even feel uncomfortable flossing near you.
In public, flossing is gross.
That's a private thing, I think.
But even when you and I do it near each other, I'm kind of like, I don't really want you to see me doing this.
It's gross.
It's so private.
But I have flossed.
I have flossed with the strings from my socks.
Remember in an emergency situation on planes when I was traveling.
This is the most brazen thing.
No, this is.
And there's a camera, dummy.
You don't.
And the visitor?
I feel like she turns at the end like, shit.
I guess I'll turn away.
Did I tell you what my mother used to do all the the time when we were after we were done eating in a restaurant?
She would take a toothpick or like the card or whatever, and then, yeah, cover her mouth and then do this.
Like,
we still know what you're doing, yeah.
Just go somewhere else.
Yeah, it was so disgusting.
Why couldn't she go somewhere else?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe it's a foreigner thing.
Is this lady a foreigner?
No.
No, I don't know, dude.
No.
Okay.
So fucked up.
Well, I can't believe I did not freak out with all the puke.
I'm It was pretty great.
I'm still pretty stoked.
I'm proud of myself.
We got the president of YMH Studios.
Yes.
We should point that out.
New Christine,
also known as Emma Hicks.
She won her first AVN for best POV anal scene.
All right.
Congratulations, Emma.
It's Emma Hicks POV Anal Jules Jordan.
Oh.
That's pretty great.
That is great.
POV anal.
That's awesome.
What does that mean exactly?
I guess
you're the guy.
The camera is the guy.
So you get to like, you're
there.
You're the one.
You're the one.
Oh, here we go.
Here's some footage.
His POV.
Oh, that's nice.
So you get to be like, oh, I'm doing this.
She looks like
that.
That's a big one for the button.
That's awesome.
She looks fantastic.
She looks great.
And I have to say,
I congratulate her on her
makeup and her hair looking fantastic, even though she's taking it in the egg.
And I see why this scene is an award winner.
Wow, that was a wide hole.
It's called gaping.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
That was an award-winning scene.
I felt it.
I felt her passion.
I thought she looked incredible.
Make sure you send that link out to everybody in the company.
Congratulations, Emma.
Yeah, president.
Yep.
You need president.
And
for your award.
That's incredible.
Yeah, that's amazing.
It's hard to win those.
Here you go.
Some of your talks of the week.
Oh, thank God.
In the old days, we used to always leave space between the plates so the plates would jingle, so the plates would make noise.
And you came up from the squat and you
draw and completely red go
the deep-throated deep-throated roar that was like music.
Every rep, you wanted to hear that sound again, and you wanted to complete that rep with as much force as you possibly could that would bring
hot steel, man.
That that feeling had to fucking do it, yeah, dude.
And see, this is why the guys in my bro gym make the noises.
Now I understand.
Because you're like, fuck yeah,
and can play the rep go, roar
the deep-throated, deep-throated throated.
So the place would jingle.
Look at the place we make noise.
This fucking
depth that this guy gets to with these and how close his legs are together, it's really fucking look at that.
It's fucking crazy.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
That's nuts.
That is nuts.
That's why, but that, but I like his theory, then you should get credit for doing something like that.
That's a powerful lift.
Yeah.
You should be like, yeah, bitch, ding-a-ling.
Like an alarm should go off, fucking sirens.
for you doing the lift.
I get it, yeah.
But I'm saying, like, if some boys in my gym, they make a lot of noise and they're not doing stuff like that.
Oh, you want it to be more impressive?
Yeah, he's right.
Like, if it's this caliber, like, you better fuck the credit, bro.
Yeah,
but come on now.
I don't know what's happening.
It's some woman's dream, too.
Somebody.
Somebody's like, fuck, I love when he does that.
Yeah.
That was pretty hot.
Yeah.
Did you like that?
I liked that more than the opening clip.
Really?
Yeah.
I'd rather watch that than because there's just more dynamics to his performance.
I like it.
Yeah, it's interesting.
I don't know where it's going to go.
I don't know why he's doing it.
There's some more questions.
Yep.
Yeah.
You're just laughing at bullying.
That's the best part.
It's basically like
bullying back.
Yeah.
No, but here's also why I like it.
I feel like, and correct me if I'm wrong, Angelinos, that that laugh is a specifically Mexican LA dude laugh, right?
That's a car full of cholos.
That's what's up, yeah.
That's why I was like, dude, I fucking heard this directed at me quite a few times growing up in the 818.
Yeah, those are cholos, dude.
That's why it's so priceless.
I know those are cholos.
Lighten that fucking guy up.
The purest form of bullying is just laughing at somebody.
You know, you don't say anything.
You don't say anything.
Can we see one more time?
And that person knows.
They're like,
yeah.
And he's
They didn't have to say shit.
Did they technically bullied?
They just laughed.
Yeah, they bullied him.
That's Chola laughing for sure.
But that's not L.A.
No.
These are Latin guys laughing.
But isn't that like Europe or something?
Look at the signage and everything.
I don't, maybe, but I'm telling you, dude, right?
Angelinos.
That's a car full of chicken.
Look at that.
That's homies.
It sounds like.
I know.
That's European.
Maybe they're on a European vacation.
You don't know.
The Cholos are on the
fucker.
Maybe they like to travel.
You don't think they go to Amsterdam?
That might be fucking Amsterdam.
Laughing at this point.
He's just got his furry ears on.
Yeah, he's walking down the street with the furry ears and shit.
Guys, minding his own business.
Just
that's the best way to do it.
He's going for a walk.
Bro, definitely got the tail in right now, too.
Yeah, you know.
Of course, he does.
That shit is crazy.
Yeah.
I hate the self-esteem people have these days.
Just going about his life.
It's good.
I don't know.
What the fuck?
Yeah, this guy.
Yes, indeed, baby.
It's an alligator.
I don't believe that grill is big enough for this, sir.
Thanks to Mr.
Audi and Miss Renee, we out here cooking an alligator in a Kentucky hood, baby.
We get ready for the LSU.
It's not big enough, you're right.
It's going to take him hours to smoke that.
Oh, yeah.
Hours.
How long to smoke a full-size alligator wrapped in bacon?
No, this is like a 24-hour process for sure.
Yeah.
And not only that, look, I've tried alligator right in Florida.
It's good.
It's good meat.
But I think if you wrap anything in bacon, it's gonna taste good.
Yeah, it's gonna be delicious.
Also, though, but wasn't that gator not skinned?
I think that's the supposed to skin them, yeah.
I would skin that before I smoked it.
You don't eat gator skin, right?
No, I don't think it cooks up.
You want to eat leather?
No.
Oh, that's not true.
Yeah.
It's like eating, yeah, it's like eating like kiwi skin or something.
I don't know, but something tells me this guy knows what he's doing, so maybe I should shut the fuck up.
My dog shit in the bed and I laid in it.
Let me know your opinion.
My dog shit in the bed and I laid in it and it's smeared everywhere.
And my mom won't let me have dairy products and won't let me have ice cream.
It's all related.
I got shit everywhere and I shit all over the toilet.
Yeah.
Let me know your opinion.
Thank you and rock on.
She wants to know your opinion.
Thank you and rock on is the sign-off.
Well, let's have an opinion.
The dog shit in the bed and she slept in it.
And then her mom won't let her have ice cream because then she shits in the bed.
She shits everywhere.
She shit all over the cell.
Yeah, my opinion is your mom might have a good point here.
Also, another opinion is change your sheets and
don't let the dog back in the bed, maybe.
Yeah.
Those are my opinions on this.
Yeah, I'd wake up if I smelled the dog's poo in the bed.
And also, rock on.
Rock on.
Yeah.
Rock on.
That's insane.
This is so funny.
Come on.
How can you not love the Irish?
Yeah.
Well, so there's 5,000 people that are Irish outside a Victoria's Secret in Denmark.
And as women leave with their bag, they're cheering for her.
But do you know why?
No.
Because Denmark, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, is one of those equal, equal societies, right?
Like, remember when we were in Amsterdam and everything's so 50-50?
I don't think women really buy lingerie anymore.
They even dress alike.
They're more asexual, the men and the women, you know?
So maybe I'm thinking this has something to do with that.
I don't think that has anything to do with that.
You don't think so?
No.
And Google and Denmark aren't.
No, no, no.
But that's not why these guys are.
The women are asexual in Denmark.
These guys are not there because of that.
But I'm saying because they're in Denmark and they're like, all the chicks here look like dudes.
Why is that?
And they're probably celebrating the ones that are being like chicks.
No, women in Denmark are not inherently asexual.
These are just drunk soccer hooligans.
Yeah, of course.
They're just like
chicks.
They're buying bras.
And they're just singing.
Yeah.
I would love it if there's a group of Irish football fans cheering for me right now.
Oh, yeah, when you bought panties.
I was like, yeah, dude.
That'd be so much fun.
I just love it so much.
Your Nikki Minaj is my guy making these noises.
I really like this.
This guy's not definitely not alive, but does, yeah.
He's probably done that for 60.
You know how many people hate him?
Fucking Leonard doing his goddamn noises again.
The pride flag that we're hanging at our house this year has a couple new additions.
Let's talk about them.
Of course, we've got the original six colors of the rainbow.
The black and brown stripes to represent people of color.
The blue, pink, and white to represent trans folks.
And a new addition to this flag, the yellow triangle with the purple circle, to represent folks that are intersex.
And the other new addition to our flag is the two feathers in the circle, which represent indigenous folks that identify as two spirits.
One feather represents feminine identity, one feather represents male identity, and the circle that holds them together represents the unification of both identities.
My partner and I are always trying to be inclusive as possible.
That's why we chose to fly this flag this year, the more you know, shooting star.
Fantastic.
My partner and I love watching this.
Kind of say, you don't think they should put maybe handicapped people or differently abled people on the flag?
Why?
Isn't that
not?
Is there a flag for that?
People that are differently abled?
There's a placard.
Oh, he
goes.
But he didn't even do the disability.
You'd think that he would start with the
it's so hard to choose between the disability and the light.
Oh, it looks like there's some of those colors.
I mean, he's got a lot of colors in there already.
You know?
Well, wait, the disability flag is, yeah, it's similar to the gay stuff.
Yeah, but there's season some of the colors are already represented there.
But yeah, it could be more inclusive.
I know, I feel like
they're leaving people out.
It's definitely important.
I'm glad he did this.
And
I'm glad I learned something.
That was good.
Also,
he's got a lot going on.
Yeah.
All right.
My friend Jackson died from vaping, and I miss him.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a rat's ass.
That's cool.
And I miss him.
I thought he was starting that with like talking about his friend.
My friend Jackson died from vaping and I miss him.
I don't give a fuck.
Cool.
Cool.
It's really nice, man.
It's not only teams who in the first three games.
He's right.
Come in.
Fucking belted that.
You know what?
That was scouch.
Just fucked that performance.
Absolutely.
How are you feeling, damn?
Amazon.
Anita.
Come on, Belt.
That is insane.
That was English.
That's insane.
Can we hear it again?
That guy should order Starbucks and say happy birthday.
Hold on, but should all was that?
Hey, maybe we could ask the EPA.
I thought we were watching
Polish
for the first few seconds.
You know, Paul, I'm fucking buzzing to the D11 against Arsenal.
Only teams win the first three games.
Is you're right.
Come in.
Fucking belted that.
You know, Paul, that was scarce.
It's like I pull out words.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Like,
beat Arsenal only three times.
like, I'm like,
that's insane.
And that's going to be a doctor one day, isn't that wild?
Yeah.
Fucking A, man.
Happy birthday, Governor.
Happy birthday.
He should be.
How are you feeling, Doh?
How are you feeling?
What?
It's insane.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Governor?
That's the guy.
That's the guy.
Yeah.
Anytime men don't have pants on, women should have knee pads always on their legs so they can be ready anytime.
Well, he's a cool guy.
You like cool guys.
I know it's a good point.
Look at his little
smirk.
Yeah, he thinks he's really inventing some new shit.
Well, he just knows he said something naughty.
Yeah.
He's like,
do you know why women should have knee pads on when a guy doesn't have pants on?
And you boot it.
Yeah.
I'm like, eat your ass.
It's not that far.
Pretty cool.
Yeah, he's a cool guy.
This was fantastic.
I had so much fun today.
So did I.
And congratulations.
You really are defeating your puke phobia.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah.
I'm still working on it.
It's gonna get better and better.
Don't forget, Valentine's right around the corner.
Oh, yeah, buy my lipsticks.
Order your lipsticks.
Order strawberries and ranch.
Diamonds and panties.
Panties.
And
yeah, let's see here.
I will put it in.
Diamonds in the crevice of your pussy.
Diamonds in the crevice of your pussy.
All right, we're gonna go out on this song.
We'll see you next week.
Hello, Gavna.
Bye, Gavna.
What the fuck are you doing, man?
Fucking come over on the side of the dumpster and take a shit.
I got diarrhea.
diarrhea,
I got diarrhea,
diarrhea,
I got diarrhea,
diarrhea,
I got diarrhea,
and we'll pick it up all trouble, bro.
I will think it out false top, throwing the stuff in the dumpster,
and we'll pick it up all stop.
Browning is stuck in the dumpster, and we'll pick it up all stop.
Pick it up all the time.
I got diarrhea.
I got diarrhea.