Tom's Mom Joins OnlyFans | Your Mom's House Ep. 794

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Candles lit, music on, hot tub warm and ready.

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Again, in the middle of my spa day.

What a wet blanket.

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Okay, let's go.

Sounds like like we're ready.

Let's take normal conversations.

What's normal?

We're normal.

We're more normal than most people.

Why did I think you were bringing me a candy?

A candy?

Honestly.

Oh, you put those on, mom?

You put the headphones on.

Yeah.

These would be better.

Toro, do you want to button your sweater so that your tetas don't

I think you should button it?

Oh, Oh, shit.

What do you want me to vote for?

Button your sweater.

Button it.

Oh, I saw I was showing something.

No,

she thinks it looks better, but I'm telling you, as somebody who, you know, you just want it.

Yeah.

If you want the show to have class, I could see.

No, we don't.

What do you think of my drawing of Tom?

I can't see it.

That?

I love it.

I love it.

You did that?

She did that.

Get out.

Do you think that looks like me, though?

No.

Okay.

But it's a good

point.

Thank you.

What does it mean?

I'm working.

Not even words.

No.

Look,

it's an interpretation, okay?

It's an interpretation.

Am I talking in a speaker who does conversation?

Lean towards the mic more.

Just sit up.

I realize you guys are talking like this.

Yeah, you gotta talk into the microphone, yeah.

My voice is too sexy.

I can't.

Okay,

so, um,

first of all,

I'm so excited that my mommy has moved to Austin.

Welcome!

You're Austin's newest celebrity resident.

How does it feel to be here?

Oh, my God, what do I start?

The fact that I have been here close to you guys and be able to see each other every weekend

is glorious.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What's wrong with you?

Are you okay?

I think that

your the headphones on your cheek and not on your ear.

Can you push it back to your ear?

Is that what you're laughing?

Is that what you're laughing?

So, um,

it's so nice to have you and my little sister here.

It's so fun.

We got to um oh my god,

I'm not going to talk like Hawaii, but I have to talk about a cruise.

Yeah,

you can say a little bit.

Let me talk.

Okay,

we're gonna get into all that, our New Year's vacation and everything that's going on.

But before that, we always play an opening clip to open the show.

So here's our opening clip to this special episode with Charo.

No reaction.

You're never gonna know where that aperture goes to unless you.

Ah, we don't me claw,

no.

No!

It's our opening song.

Not him, the song.

Which one?

Oh, he's here.

No, no, we're just we're we're not supposed to talk during that whole time.

Oh,

but okay, let's um let's get in.

First of all, did you like that clip?

No, you did not like it.

I don't remember the clip.

The guy.

Ah, what?

No, okay.

No, that is reported.

You don't think he's cute?

I think he's really cute.

Yeah, he kind of looks like me.

A little bit.

Yeah, look to both of you.

Christina?

I think he's hot.

All right, Christina, you can help him.

Okay, I don't know if Tommy is attracted to you because if you like that guy and you like Tommy, maybe

Tommy sees similarities.

I do.

I do.

I see similarities myself.

Yeah.

Actually, you have the glasses.

I have the glasses.

I have the beard.

I have the chest hair and the nose.

You have the chest hair.

And the nose is spot on.

Yes, and then you feel like you're so cool that you open it.

Yeah.

The rope.

It's sort of like my brother's out there somewhere.

Yes.

Wait, is this my brother?

You faking.

Is this my brother?

No.

That's when I used to inflate you and I put it back in there.

I did it.

I did it.

What did you do?

Change you.

You changed me.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Say thank you.

Thank you very much.

So

it was amazing to spend.

Cheers.

Happy the New Year's trip with you.

We got to go to

an island in the Caribbean, and we went with our

entire family.

What was really fascinating, we all talked about this.

You were the star of the vacation.

By far, the star.

By far.

You were the star of the vacation.

Can I tell you what?

I'm just so amazed with you is that for the first time in, what, 17 years, you said you put on a bathing suit.

It's true.

You got into the ocean with our children, with your beautiful grandsons.

You got on a sea dew.

You did.

You put this guy.

And you were jumping in the water.

Oh, my God.

The sea dew jet ski ride.

So she is.

I'm sitting here like this.

She's sitting behind me, right?

And she's holding on.

And she'd go, Slow down.

I was like, We're good.

And she'd go, You are good.

And then essentially, Christina, no, then he would go, you know, you are good.

Yeah, that's yeah, but you didn't, you didn't like that.

He was going too fast.

No, you're going extreme.

I'm like, he keeps accelerating the motor scared I got.

Yeah.

And then,

you know, my words.

And then what?

She doesn't remember.

I was thinking.

You can't lift the cup?

How's the coffee?

Delicious.

Un poquito friend, for the delicious.

You want more?

It is hot.

You want a hot one?

We'll bring you a hot one.

Thank you.

Please.

Okay, now back to the microphone.

We're just talking about how great the vacation was.

And really it was because of your positive attitude.

And you also ate more shrooms than anybody.

Remember?

I want to talk about the real things, no stupid stories.

No, I'm serious.

Seriously, what I'm going to say.

Number one,

you could not dream for any human being with billions and billions of total to have a better gift of this vacation with you guys it was

above and beyond any expectation in my short life and also might i say you've embraced at your age if it if you might if i it's okay saying you're 80 years old 80 years young and that you've embraced i would say such a cool lifestyle the lifestyle i want to have you're into all kinds of things

may i may i say yeah

You're into edibles now?

Yeah, psychedelics.

Psychedelics.

Yeah.

I'm a shrink.

Psychedelics.

Hey, excuse me.

I don't have any in my house.

You cannot be.

No, no, I'm not saying that.

Why are you crying?

It's just fun.

I'm just so emotional.

No.

They're bringing you another one.

They're going to bring it.

Keep going.

So you had more.

You had more psychedelics than anybody on the vacation.

Psychedelics.

Like mushrooms, the gummies.

I remember when we're in the...

Microphone, yeah.

Yeah, you can say speak loud, it's okay.

But what if I don't want to?

Okay.

What was the question about?

That you had more than anybody, and you were like, turn it up, let's get some more going.

To be honest, I don't see them do shit.

I think the people are destroying their brains and with no purpose.

Because definitely those stupid things don't work.

No, they damage your brain.

They damage your brain.

And we are so stupid that we pay to damage our brain for something.

Yeah, but it's fun.

That's the whole point.

Well, if I do it once every three years and one time, it's fun.

Yeah.

Well, and you were so fun when you were taking them.

Yeah, I think you were just when I was taking them.

Yeah, yeah, you were so much fun.

You're the best attitude.

On vacation.

Thank you, Heather.

What do you mean on vacation?

I wasn't taking anything.

Yeah, I was giving you gummies.

Remember in the mornings, you were like, hey, give me some more of those gummies.

Stephen.

You know,

if you're going to be a storyteller,

don't talk that.

Okay.

Okay.

So

why are you laughing?

Do you not like gummies at all?

Gummies is sacosita con caramelo que tú mediste, no?

Yeah, yeah, okay.

What is she saying?

I can't understand.

What did she say?

What do you say?

I said gummy is like the little candy that I gave her, like the little chicken.

Like a gummy, yeah.

It didn't do anything to you.

You don't think it affects you at all?

Zero.

Yeah.

What about today's?

Today?

Yeah.

I'm in your show.

I know.

How are you feeling?

A little bit dizzy.

A little dizzy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So?

So it's fine.

It's fine.

I think it's great.

It's great.

It is.

We love it.

I love it.

But I love that you're embracing.

Look,

it's very amazing that somebody will change.

I mean, you changed your life moving here to Austin.

You've really embraced a whole new chapter in your life.

But I also wanted to focus on the fact that you were the star of the vacation.

Yes.

You were doing things that let...

You sit down.

No, here's the thing.

Everybody on that vacation was

either a kid or middle-aged, like us.

And you were the only senior, and you were the one who was like, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to jump in.

I'm going to do this thing.

I want to go swimming.

I want to go to the beach.

So it was, people were, we were all discussing how inspiring it was that you were at your age and wanting to do everything.

That's what we're saying.

Okay.

Now I'm crying.

Oh, well.

I know.

But to be honest, it reminds me that no matter your age, as long as there is love,

everything is perfect.

The age is not something that we are all going to have it and then

every time everyone has his time.

But really,

I don't remember it.

It's okay.

You also realize you told me that you're going to live another three years max.

Do you remember this?

Oh, that I know it.

You know that.

If I am

three max.

Yes.

Why three?

You're in perfect health.

You're healthier than me.

I, as my kid says, I am a freak of nature.

You are.

So instead of saying we love you, I think you appreciate I think you are a freak of nature.

So when you die, do you mind if we send your brain and buy it?

Really?

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I can.

No, it just happens.

It's okay.

We can keep talking.

It's okay.

This is called a vulgar attitude, and I don't think that it's funny at all.

Okay.

You want respect on your show?

Yeah, I want respect.

Well, then you earn it, you know,

your class, your words.

It's too late for that.

It's true.

I think it's

the train is left.

It's never too late.

It's not too late.

True.

How come I am at that age sitting here and moving to Texas?

Why it's not going to be an age

about.

It's amazing that you chose to change your entire life.

I think it's lovely, and it's a wonderful new time for all of us as a family.

We came together.

Boys love it.

I love having you.

It's a perfect segue to talking about the next chapter of your life, which is the fact that a lot of people are excited about you starting in OnlyFans.

OnlyFans, of course, is a subscription site where you are the star and people pay to have access to your life.

So in other words, there's a monthly bill.

that's recurring and every month a person pays let's say ten dollars a month something like that and they just get access to charo and you go hey good morning I'm making my coffee I'm gonna take the dogs out I'm going to the store and you know you just show them your life show them your life show them as much of your life as you want and we told the audience that this was a possibility well the audience responded in such a way that they wanted you to know that they are ready for this.

They are all ready to pay for access to your life.

So, if you don't mind looking at the screen right here,

yeah,

the same guy, well, no, it's going to change here in a second, okay?

Here you go.

Hey, Charo.

Please do Olymp fans, please, please do it.

Please try it out.

We need the OnlyFans.

Please join OnlyFans.

We could really use that joy.

You should definitely do an OnlyFans.

Get your awesome gear and get that OnlyFans mid.

Me and the little guy think you need to sign up for OnlyFans.

You can have one of the biggest accounts in the country.

From Berlin, from Scotland, Tennessee, Canada, California, from Israel, Quebec, Michigan, Colorado, Australia, North Carolina, British Columbia, from Germany.

Please, you should really, really consider it.

Big time yes.

Love to subscribe to an OnlyFans from you.

We can't wait to subscribe.

I will be on that shit immediately.

Yes, yes, yes.

You should start.

OnlyFans.

You're a star and I wanna hear you fart.

Charlotte.

You know what we want to hear?

I wanna hear some more of them things rip.

Let our little fart.

I would give you my salary for one of those farts.

I like farts, too.

A lot.

Oh, God, God.

Open your cheeks and let it go.

Yeah, I'm gonna pay for that.

I really need your juicy farts of my life, and I'm willing to pay whatever it takes.

Oh, God.

Charo, leave it.

Guess who's got disposable income to spend on you, mommy?

Me.

$5, $10 a month is nothing.

$15 a month, $20.

$5, $15, $10, $5, $10, $10, $10, $10, $10, $10, $10, $20, $15, $10, $20, $25.

Pay $6.99.

I will pay whatever the hell you want.

My whole bank account.

Premium bucks, baby.

You won't need Tom's money after this, baby girl.

Let's do this.

See how much comes in.

Pop off, clean.

Make that OnlyFans.

Gotcha.

We love you.

Stay gorgeous.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Thank you.

Thank you to everybody that let us know how you feel.

They all want you to do this.

And just so you know, go ahead and pull that mic close again.

Just so you know,

there's endless possibilities

to how you can navigate your OnlyFans.

Just so you know.

I don't even know how to navigate.

Well, I mean.

Well, you know the demand is there now.

You just saw a montage of several thousand

people from all over the globe that want to see you do.

it's simple math, too.

It's really simple math.

I don't understand.

Why is simple math?

Because what you're seeing is one person and then the next person and then the next person.

It's like ten dollars, fifteen dollars, twenty, and then keep multiplying the amount of people.

What do I do?

Well, it's how you want to do it.

I mean, you know, I had no clue that my OnlyFans would actually take off.

I've made $205,361.49.

That is more than than I have ever made in my life.

Calls from Austria, Switzerland, Australia, England.

5 million views.

Holy moly.

Sorry, my heart is racing right now.

Who didn't expect to cry?

There it is.

Million dollars in 2020.

She's made an astonishing $43 million in earnings over the past year.

How much money do you guys make?

Like 60K a month.

Anywhere from 10 to 20K.

so crazy my mom's an only fans model really yeah she is what do you think about that i love it this is my daughter and we are both only fans models

people will ask us for little videos of like of us together yeah so it's like

ikewa said you i'm gonna stand in my kitchen and say these are my dogs hey pull the bike down a little bit

These are my dogs.

This is the door that take my dogs out.

Chad, why don't you help her?

No, you can say, These are my dogs.

What do you mean, I can't say it?

I just say it.

I know.

I'm saying you could do good morning.

You can do,

here are my plans for the day.

You can do, you can do, guess what we're doing now?

I'm going to the grocery store.

I'm going to start rehearsing it, Palarak.

I can't say.

No, you don't have to rehearse.

I'm giving you examples of things you could do.

What do you wish me to do?

Well, I mean, it's hilarious that you ask because there's so many different lanes you can go down.

Here's somebody who just does this.

Aye.

Aye, Sonos Globos.

And the minute they are going to put a needle there on the.

Yeah, but you've got to do that.

You could do that if you wanted.

You're just leaving money.

You don't have to.

I'm giving you examples.

That is true.

I can do that.

It's easy money.

You know how much a guy would pay to see that every month?

Did you see how low in esteem I would be of myself?

No.

No.

It's a different world.

Oh, no.

Oh, she's a school teacher.

This one's my son's kindergarten teacher.

Okay.

Yeah.

There's different things you can do.

You have the gray thing.

What are you talking about?

Why do you keep moving it?

I don't know.

I mean, it was perfectly set.

He literally perfectly set it for you.

He was like, here you go.

It's right there.

Okay, see this part?

Yeah.

Pull from there.

No, below, below.

Push.

Below.

Yeah, pull that down.

Just down.

There you go.

Yeah, so that it's your mouth is above it.

Okay.

Charlie, let me ask you something.

Yes.

You're going to wake up tomorrow morning.

You're going to make your coffee.

You're going to eat your pastry.

You're going to stand in your kitchen.

And you're going to fart.

Now, hold on.

Do you want that fart to just go nowhere?

Or do you want to make a million dollars this year?

No, I want my

secret first.

Look, look, okay.

But like, look, look, she's just

sitting on the couch, okay?

Yeah, and I want to make

look.

I mean, money in the bank.

Money, money, money.

And she's wearing jeans.

Yeah.

You think, I can't believe how this respect

in your life you have for me to ask me if I want money,

become a prostitute.

Here's the thing: you don't have to sit in there with your Tetas bouncing up and down.

I'm not going to.

What is your respect?

Okay, I was giving you ideas.

Stupid ideas.

We're just brainstorming.

We're just brainstorming.

We're just brainstorming.

This is a strategy sesh.

So this is

we're just talking ideas.

Okay, but yeah.

It's pretty cool, right?

I mean, you're not open to it.

How open open on a scale of one to ten are you?

For only things.

One.

Oh, that's something.

That's something.

I mean, you can do things like

that.

Okay, here's this.

You can do it.

No.

Okay.

Doesn't make any sense.

So, so far we've covered greeting people in the morning, which is exciting.

Easy.

Yeah.

Hey, good morning.

Charo here.

Just made my coffee.

Hope you're having a great day.

People would love to start their day with that message.

Okay.

That's not degrading.

Am I allowed to answer?

Yes.

The last thing in your life that you should ask your mother is that she would like to be that low.

I just can't.

But she cannot be a prostitute because she's too old.

Okay, you're not listening.

Then she's going to further.

You're not listening.

Buy the same amount of money.

Okay.

What I said was

your video could be, Good morning, everyone.

Charo here.

Hope you're having a great day.

I'm enjoying

it.

No, I didn't say that this time.

I just said you could just do it.

Then what am I going to come up with those words?

Because you say.

It's very natural.

You just say what you normally would.

Yeah, you don't have to do the pedo.

Well, if I don't have if I don't move the microphone.

Yeah, why do you keep moving it?

Push it down.

Now pull it down.

Not from there, from the bottom.

Why don't you do it?

Because you're sitting right in front of it.

Just pull it from here.

Look, look.

Go like that.

Pull that down.

Here.

Not there.

What can you talk nice?

Thank you, Chad.

I don't.

What are you saying?

I don't speak Spanish.

Thank you.

Chad would, Chad likes you.

See, it's gentlemen like Chad that would pay to see your OnlyFans content.

Nice guys.

Okay, you can't do this even?

Like.

What

he just waved and gave a thumbs up.

That is nothing.

That's a nothing burger.

I've done that on my TikToks and my Instagrams.

It's like not a big deal.

You have done that?

All you do is he's laying down and going, hi.

What's wrong with this?

What's wrong with that?

I can't believe you asked me that question because I think I don't see anything wrong.

Oh, well, I was having a high impression of you, to be honest.

I don't understand.

I don't understand.

He's just laying that.

He's showing us, look, I'm reclining, I'm enjoying myself.

It does that as well.

That puts you to sleep or that excite you.

Let it be, because now that we don't have a, you know,

I don't know if you're a man and woman, the day, the day, the thing.

Yeah, because that's how it is now.

Okay.

Yeah, that's true.

So you wouldn't, I just want to be clear.

For $20,000 a month, you wouldn't say, good morning, everyone.

Hope you're having a great day.

I just fart.

No, no one is talking about a fart anymore.

You just say, good morning.

I'm having coffee.

You wouldn't do that?

So you pay me $20,000?

No, I wouldn't.

Only fancy.

Yep, please.

Yeah.

To say good morning, America.

That's what they want.

Yeah, that's what they want.

They want good mornings.

For saying good morning, they pay me $20,000.

Yes.

I can even change sex and names every other week so I can make more.

Sure.

So good morning, America.

I'm one person.

Yeah.

Good morning, America.

I'm a different person.

Yep.

And then I pretend that I live a

momo.

What?

What's legit America?

I say language because I don't know.

So would you do that?

For $20,000.

What else can I say besides good morning, America?

Good night.

You know, it'd be really cool.

Hey, I'm having my lunch.

This is what I'm having for lunch today.

Just a healthy salad that I'm going to go for.

Well, it's not going to be.

So you could be like, I'm being a bad girl.

I'm having banneton and some chicken fingers.

Old French fries.

The worst part is doesn't change.

I know.

That's horrible.

If you could move the mic more.

Listen, so the.

I said I wasn't close.

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Don't touch it.

Just don't touch it.

It's perfectly set for you.

And you know why, Charlie?

We want to see your beautiful face.

And if you push it up, they can't see your face.

My beautiful.

Here, let me show you something crazy.

You don't have to do this, but look at this guy.

Watch this.

Hold on, hold on.

No, I won't do it for 40,000.

Why should I watch this?

You don't even know what it was.

I saw the beginning.

If Player Pillow was going to come,

I'm not interested.

This is just a video.

It's nothing to do with it.

It has nothing to do with OnlyFans.

This is just a video I'm showing you.

What does it have to do with me being interested to see how they play?

But just see what happens.

You don't even see what happens.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

That's going to make sense.

So that was a a gallon jug of pila, of pea.

And he just threw it.

And he made money for doing that?

I don't think he does.

No.

No, he just puts videos out there.

I don't think he can figure out.

I can't imagine it.

So gosh.

He hasn't figured out the commerce part of it.

But he's very focused.

But I'll tell you what.

He does peace to OnlyPea.

But if you did figure out OnlyFans, you're looking at a potential millionaire right there.

Yeah.

You just saw a guy make a million dollars.

I don't envy him.

If you're going to make me do such a disgusting scene for a million dollars, I pass.

Okay, we're moving on from OnlyFans.

Okay.

And now I'm showing you videos that you tell me whether they make you laugh, you think it's hilarious, or whether you think it's not funny at all.

Okay.

Okay.

So I go from hilarious to not funny at all.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My betwins.

Not really in between.

Well, I guess you could kind of say it's kind of funny, but okay.

Here we go.

I don't understand you.

You're asking me if this is funny or not funny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So,

your brain is not working.

I told me,

he has to hit the bike again.

So, that was horrible.

Is it anything lower than no?

It's horrible or hilarious.

No, horrible.

Okay, okay.

I think that was horrible too.

That was pretty horrible.

I agree.

I didn't think it was hilarious.

Hopefully, this next one is hilarious.

Here we go.

oh he's paralyzed oh he broke his leg

it's a guy riding the bowl just you know for those listening

his leg is totally sideways it broke his bad

well I guess we're 0 for two today

no I didn't know that was in there either I was just showing you what's in the folder it isn't no it's random.

It's totally random.

He doesn't put these together.

Producers do.

He's not responsible.

Okay, so that one, horrible, also.

Absolutely horrendous.

Yeah, that was bad.

That was really bad.

Okay, here's.

I forgot what is it that we're watching?

These are clips, and you either say it's horrible or hilarious.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

So, so far, 0 for 2.

All

absolutely horrible.

Horrible.

Okay.

Here we go.

Next one.

There's a woman with a horse.

Oh,

shit.

The horse just kicked her.

Horrible.

Shit.

We're three for three on horrible horse.

I kind of liked it because I kind of hate horses and I don't like horse.

You hate horses?

I don't like horses.

I don't like horse culture, horse people.

I think it's silly to ride them.

I think there's, yeah, it's like silly.

Why would you ride a beast that can just murder you?

Would you consider going to a psychologist?

I already did.

It's too late.

It didn't work.

I don't like riding horses.

I saw it.

Oh, yeah.

How about you ask me if it's horrible or funny?

Sometimes they're hilarious.

That's true.

This is hilarious or Christian.

But look how hateful that horse is.

I know.

We're so spiteful and shit.

If I was married, I would be scared to watch this.

I said, well, you know.

So, so far, they gave us three horribles.

My bet, if I'm a betting man, is that this next one's going to be absolutely hilarious.

Okay?

That means it's horrible.

Well, I think it's going to be hilarious.

Okay, let's watch.

Okay, it's piñata.

She's doing the piñata.

Uh-huh.

This is going.

That lady better move.

Oh, she bent the stick.

I don't see.

Oh, she's not.

Wait, did you see what happened?

Why the poor lady?

Why the poor lady volunteered?

Yeah, she was trying to tell her, hey, don't swing yet.

But the lady wearing the blindfold didn't know.

That was really funny.

We were not to swing.

Let's see the game.

It looks like a tire iron.

Is that what it's called?

She's like, she doesn't realize that the piñata's not hanging.

She's like, let me, let me grab it.

Oh, my God.

Is that the word?

Look at the curve on that thing.

Is that a called tire iron?

Well, that's not a tire iron, but that is a such thing as one.

Yeah, it looks like a tire.

It was a tire iron.

She would be still on the ground.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She would have never gotten up.

She hit the shit out of that.

That was pretty funny.

That was really funny, yeah.

How did you get this?

Did you give that a hilarious or no?

You didn't LOL at all?

No.

Sometimes you want to take a shit and you don't know how big your shit's going to be.

So if you want all that shit to get off of your ass, make sure you get one of these bidets and spray all the diarrhea.

What?

I'm doing this.

Is this a commercial?

Yeah.

Hi, Tommy.

Don't bring your maya to talk to me.

Well, I'm supposed to.

No, that's not even funny.

But it's an advertisement.

I don't care, then do it with your.

Okay, we'll do that one later.

We'll do that one later.

You ready?

I'll be a piece of shit for you.

Yeah.

The diarrhea thing?

What?

If you have diarrhea, there's nothing more upsetting than having shit covered all over the sides of your toilet.

Tommy, I'm in the middle of an anime.

You have to.

They're paying for it.

When you wipe your ass and you smear shit on your body.

No, no, no, no, don't go that low.

I have to do it.

No, no, no.

Okay.

No,

I'm not your mother anymore.

You don't want to start talking like that, Tommy.

You're going to clean the shit off the sides of your ass cheeks off these.

Kids are listening to this.

Make sure that all the diarrhea that was falling out of your ass onto the floor and into the toilet stops falling out

it's not just liquid

record it don't record it all you do is you insert the pill into your anus I know and ask I am not taking but that's how you do it don't talk like that in front of me go to dpill no go to dpill.com slash YMH

you shouldn't let him

this is the copy

he didn't I swear god this is the agency go to dpill.com slash YMH to make sure your toilet is never filled with that horrible horrible shit and inserting it rectally.

You don't allow Tim to do this.

This is our sponsor.

No, this

sponsor is.

Deepil.

Deepil?

Yes.

It's for diarrhea.

Look, well, how do you think we're going to pay for your new washer dryer?

With the money for the DPI?

Yes.

They're paying us to read this copy.

By the way, I like how you lobbed that in there.

You're like, hey, can I need to get a washer dryer?

Okay, where was I?

I got to go put in a D-pill because they told me I have to actually have the experience.

I got to go too.

I got to go home.

How do you know where I'm going?

I don't know where you're going.

Why should I know it?

Oh, that's exhausting.

Exhausting.

You guys are on your own on that.

Yeah.

Adria, Tommy.

I love you.

Tommy, Tommy.

No, wait a minute.

How about my Christina?

I need the money.

Do I think this is hilarious?

No.

No?

I told me you should.

You're my son.

Okay, let's do the last one.

This one, if I know these guys, they've been just throwing curveballs at us in there.

And they gave us some horrible stuff.

And the last one's going to be the funniest thing we've ever seen.

That's what I think is going to happen.

Here we go.

Oh,

there's a guy skiing, right?

He's standing, and then he gets oh my gosh, somebody behind him knocks him clear over.

Oh, I don't see that.

You didn't see that?

So, the guy that's standing here, I saw that.

Okay, he's standing, and here, I'll put it here.

They knock him out

there's somebody sliding behind him, and he doesn't know that.

Oh, I didn't either.

See, look, see it there, yeah,

and he doesn't realize he's about to get hit right here.

Do you now see it?

Yes, I'm afraid.

Okay.

And then he hits him at such a speed.

Oh my God.

That he does a full flip and lands on his head.

Well, they're all laughing.

See?

I tell you that people have mental problems in this world now.

These guys have influenced us in a very negative way, the guys in the booth.

Because the show used to be a lot nicer before we hired them.

Why did you hire these people?

I don't know.

I think about it a lot.

Well, can you cancel them?

Yeah, I'm trying to cancel them, yeah.

I hit them.

I'm trying to, yeah.

Yeah, they're very.

Well, we wanted to show nice things.

Yeah, we used to always, and then they would throw, they would always mislead us and do this stuff.

I don't get it.

What did they,

how did

mislead them?

What was that?

Thank you.

How they

how did they

don't remember?

What?

How did they mislead me?

Yes.

I would say I want to show nice videos.

I want to see sailboats.

You know, I want to see

people on swings and like fun stuff.

And then they would put these things in my folder and things like this.

So

it's usually the three guys you see there.

Yeah.

I don't know.

They kind of got us by the balls now.

Can we get a fresh coffee?

You want another coffee?

Why don't you drink that one?

She now just cried to bring this.

Why she bring me the other one?

Sure, yeah.

We can do another coffee.

No, I'm not.

How does she know that you want me to do that?

I'm just saying it, and they're hearing us.

They can hear from the microphone.

They know.

They know.

But what do you find funny?

You know, we were watching Notting Hill the other night at the house, and your mother did laugh.

I love it.

I love it.

She LOL'd pretty hard.

At Notting Hill?

Yeah.

What's that again?

It's like a romantic comedy with Hugh Grant.

Oh, that movie is cute, though.

It is cute, but I don't know if I ever LOL.

Like, laugh out loud enough.

She really was laughing hard.

Yeah, I used to think that, like, I used to think you guys were retarded.

When I would walk

past the living room and I would hear you guys laughing at sitcoms, I'd be like, my family's fully retarded.

Yeah.

You guys would laugh at like friends and like

shit that's on.

I'm like, who laughs at this?

They laugh at it.

Yeah.

So I'm just saying maybe we don't share a sensibility of what's funny, maybe with the poor or hilarious.

Yeah.

Which is fine.

You know, we can't be

the same person.

You think that you two are hilarious?

Well, I mean...

I don't know.

I don't know.

I think I have a good sense of humor.

Yeah, but that makes you...

You have a good sense of humor.

Right.

So I...

I mean, you're hilarious.

No, it doesn't mean I'm hilarious, but I think the things I laugh at are...

I have a better sense of humor than people who don't laugh at things.

Like, I'm a superior laugher.

I have a higher

sensibility for it.

That's true.

If you laugh, even we don't know what he's laughing about.

We are on laughing.

We're all laughing.

All laughing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But also, I mean, that's just how I think everybody thinks about themselves, right?

Right.

Everybody thinks that's the thing.

We all think the way I'm.

Yeah, I'm lost now.

They're the smartest.

I'm looking at this.

This is the guy in this key.

Why in the world are we talking about Paris?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It just kind of the conversation just went there.

But I found something that I think will make you laugh.

Okay, because this is not funny.

This is not.

Okay, here here about how about this one.

This guy's on a roller coaster.

He passes out.

And then he wakes up.

So dangerous.

What?

And that passes out again.

I told me.

This is funny for you.

We're not laughing.

This is.

This is terrifying.

And a helicopter?

Roller coaster.

Roller coaster.

Not a helicopter.

Oh, yeah.

Attorneys is a stupid situation.

You didn't like that either?

No,

why do you waste your time in doing things that doesn't make any sense?

What is it funny about this?

Just to see somebody screaming and passing out?

Yeah, I mean, I am worse.

You put me there, I don't come back.

Yeah, I'm surprised.

That's good that he stayed in the

roller.

That's how guys check on each other.

Yeah, it's really loving, I know.

But I have to tell you one thing.

It bothers me to think that

they put the people upside down in this, right?

Yeah.

And it's supposed to be funny.

Yeah.

It's supposed to be a thrill, like exciting.

I did a lot less, and I was only 50 years younger, no kidding.

No, actually, more.

Thank you, Heather.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Don't forget to get that next one just ready to brew and going here.

Yeah, you're talking about how you don't think roller coasters coasters are

I don't really like them either.

Hurts my head and stuff.

That's it scares you.

I don't like it.

I don't like it.

The older I get, I'm not.

I don't like it.

I don't like it either.

I think life's scary enough.

I don't need to be like a thrill seeker.

Like, I'm scared of every day.

Like, I go to the doctors and I'm like, oh, shit.

Yeah.

I'm scared.

Well, you know?

We have reasons after you are mother and a wife of not exactly the easiest husband.

Yeah.

Thank you for acknowledging that.

Not only acknowledging, I admire you.

Yeah.

I truly admire you.

What's wrong with him?

What do you think?

I think you should go to a psychiatrist.

Yeah.

And he let me tell you things that I think

once are really positive, some are negative.

What do you want first?

Positives.

Okay.

Extremely generous.

Very generous.

I mean, in general.

Great friend.

Yes.

Excellent father.

Very strong.

No, it's excellent.

You are his wife.

But he's no excellent wife.

He's excellent.

Yes.

De que estamos a lando.

You are saying positive and negative qualities about me.

Why are you here?

Why am I here?

I'm talking to Christina, Tommy.

I was giving you the reminder.

You said, what were we talking about?

You know, all of a sudden,

I got under the impression that either you and I were dead, and he showed up.

No.

You forgot he was here?

I was like this, you and me talking.

And then all of a sudden, you're great.

I'm very engaging.

Yeah, you are.

You're so dynamic.

His capacity.

Well, what were you going to say?

What could Tom work on?

What could Tom work on?

As a human being, like, what can he work on?

Well, he's a good comedian.

No, she's saying, what are the negative qualities that I could address to be better?

Well, if he's b if

bad.

Yeah,

if it's bad, it's not called quality for Somme.

Okay.

Well, I said negative quality.

Yeah, negative characteristic for some of the

I'd love to hear this.

This is very exciting.

Okay, I honestly don't have any idea what was the question.

Hello.

Hello.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, here's the thing.

My friend Will Blunderfeld, he put out

a video that they sent in, asked us to review.

So we're just going to take a look at that for a second, okay?

To review to see if you're I don't know.

I don't know what it is yet.

I don't know.

And I'm just fingering my stink portal and kind of sniffing it for a few minutes and really just coming into what we call the million-dollar point, which is actually

right.

I thought you were going to tell me about you if you were funny, or no.

No, this is our friend Will.

He lives in Canada.

He teaches men how to get more comfortable with themselves.

And he encourages you to put your fingers in your anus.

I know.

I know.

Trust the blood.

It's not for you, though.

It's just for the audience.

This is for men.

I am part of the audience.

You're not the audience.

You're one of the hosts, actually.

At the World Fire.

Okay.

I had to watch this guy.

There's a portal between the dragon pearls and the portal, closer to the stink portal is the million-dollar point.

It's the external pressure point for what we call the walnut, aka the prostate gland.

We're just trying to learn.

What you can do is simply circularly stimulate it with your middle finger.

Oh, yeah.

You're not watching.

What's wrong?

What is wrong?

He's not doing anything.

That is lack of respect for

skip this stupid thing.

Skip that.

on me.

All right.

Here.

Tom.

That's on a.

Oh, dude.

Why is that vomiting?

He's vomiting, yeah.

On that guy?

Yeah.

Are you testing me if I'm stupid?

No, we're just looking at the different things that come in.

These all come in like in a.

You asked me if I'm if it's no, that's so.

That's over.

Can I ask you something, Tom?

Is this like a fetish video where the guy's voluntarily lying?

It's It's amazing.

Oh, like a fraternity.

So this is what's happening on the schools these days.

This is why we're...

They go, I want to join your thing.

And then they go, well, we have to vomit on you first to let you into our group.

Yeah, that's what's happening.

That's what it is.

I know.

And the kids are so stupid that they accept it.

Yeah, that's how bad they want to be.

This is a current event show.

No, this is just a current event segment of the show.

This is what people are doing.

So we like to comment on what's happening in the world.

Do you think this is bad?

Like, Christina, the world is ending, and we are like in the taps when the, you know, when COVID started?

Yeah.

Oh, it for the people in China.

We watch it like an event that pull these people.

Now we have everything happening in here between the fires and

the floods and the earthquakes.

You know that our

last house that we lived in burned down?

Completely.

I know it by 100 people.

Yeah.

I just have to say, and I know we haven't talked about it yet, but you know,

I haven't even been able to scroll anything other than the fire stuff on TikTok.

It's been devastating.

And I feel like it's like a movie I'm watching.

It's not even real because we're not there anymore.

So I can't walk through the city.

It's the hardest thing in the world.

It's just devastating.

And the Palisades was

our dream come true.

I remember.

It was our dream.

Especially, I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, shitty little apartment with my mom, all immigrants.

And I only dreamed of living somewhere as beautiful as the Palisades.

And then we got that house, and I was like, I have made it.

And even in the back of my mind,

you could read you.

It's gorgeous.

Absolutely gorgeous.

I agree.

But now there's not even the hope of going back.

There is no

memory that you have with you, that's all.

And I just, my heart goes out to everybody, obviously, that's

for these people and for all these events.

You know what scares me?

Really, I really feel this is not funny that we're coming to the end of of the world.

Do you feel like that for real?

I swear, I feel like that.

Why do you think we're coming to the end of the world, though?

Tommy, thinking all the things that are happening in the world.

We have an earthquake, and it was in Japan.

I don't know.

But you guys don't watch the news?

Sometimes.

TikTok.

Well, watch the news.

Well, I'm too wrapped up in LA.

I've last five days.

I've been glued.

No, no, this was 7.9, and I think in Japan.

Okay.

I mean, everything that we watch is, yes.

Sorry, before I forget, though, you guys, we are raising money to help Angelinos with our t-shirt.

You can get it ymhstudios.com, all proceeds.

Store.ymhstudios.com.

It all goes to the

California Fire Foundation.

That people always ask, how's the money attributed?

It goes to firefighters and people affected in the community.

So the people, the very people that are the first responders, Cal Fire Foundation is a non-profit, and the money goes to that organization, which dispenses it to

firefighters, their families, and the communities that they serve.

So it's a pretty cool community.

Obviously, the efforts that are going to be needed to rebuild Los Angeles, you're looking at probably a decade.

Absolutely.

But it's one of those things where every little bit counts.

You don't have to get a shirt.

You can go straight to Califire Foundation if you want to.

You can donate directly.

You could also donate clothing.

You can donate

goods, perishable goods.

There's all types of places that are accepting it.

In Altadena and Pasadena, by the way, which is on the eastern side of Los Angeles where they had the Eaton fire,

they've been greatly, greatly affected too.

A lot of people might not know that that community is a lot of people living paycheck to paycheck.

A lot of people don't know how the different neighborhoods shape out.

I would also add that

people in the Palisades who might not be living paycheck to paycheck are also deeply traumatized and horrified horrified by the fact that they lost everything.

And, you know, it's however you want to view it, but they all need help.

So well, not there, you look, look, there's those people that have been living in the Palisades for 20, 30, 40 years too.

And it's not just rich assholes that are affected by this.

Schools have burned down.

It's just, it's, can you imagine being a kid?

You lose your home and your school in one day.

It's just alarming.

And it's, oh,

I'm too upset.

I'm not going to be able to do that.

It's very hard.

I'm going to talk about it.

It's very troubling.

That being said, it's probably a by the way, at the time we're recording this, LA is still on fire, just so people know.

And I don't know what it's like.

I really hope that by this release date, it is not.

But yeah.

Charo,

let's show you some stuff that hopefully puts a smile on your face, okay?

Okay.

I mean, don't disgust me, huh?

But why do you disrespect me like this?

We don't know what this is.

I don't know what this is.

these guys i don't know how can you you don't say we have respect for my mother check it out we got to fire somebody today because this is this is on i agree with you well who do we fire first look at their faces

this is i'm so sorry you're right this is very disrespectful we did not okay these videos

josh did you are you responsible for this yeah who's getting canned

well can you put yourself on the screen there you go you can see them on this screen which one of you put these videos in front of my mother-in-law i want answers who's the guy in the hat in the back?

Is that Tanner?

Yeah.

Hold on.

Sh put him on the screen.

Wave, Tanner.

Do you mean to fire him?

I want to see his face to see if he lies.

Well, okay.

Let's see his face.

Okay, Abe.

Look at me, please.

Can you get closer to the camera, Tanner?

Yeah, he looks like

come closer.

Closer, Tanner.

I think he's scared of me.

Maybe.

He doesn't want to lose his job, mom.

You won't lose your job.

Okay.

Do you mean to fire him?

Okay, what is my question?

Do you want to fire him?

Do you want me me to fire him?

Well, I don't know what he did.

He got some of these videos ready.

Oh.

No, but don't fire him, but you should give him a word.

Give him a warning?

All right.

Consider this your warning.

Sit back down.

How dare you do that?

Okay, you have a 30-day warning.

Okay.

I don't know what that is.

There's any?

You see any right there?

You remember any waving?

Yeah.

You mean me to fire him?

No.

Oh, okay.

Why would you fire him?

Thanks, Charlotte.

No, I will never do that to you.

I appreciate you, Charlie.

Tell me, what is wrong with you?

I was giving you the option.

Why would I fire him?

Is he responsible for him?

He works on the team, too.

No, no, no.

What about Josh in the middle?

He's Jewish.

Do you want me to get rid of him?

Oh, I know.

Yeah.

No, nobody gets fired.

Okay, but guys, next time let's be a little more respectful of one another.

I want to know first why is it that we are fighting him?

You asked who got this and you said, shouldn't they have a little more respect?

And then I said to you, how about I show you the guys that prepared everything and you can fire somebody?

Oh my god, no, I'm not going to fight anybody.

Oh, okay.

That would have been great.

Yeah, that is our fault, though, Charles.

Sorry, we prepped those videos ahead of time.

We forgot that you were coming in.

That's our bad.

Sorry about that.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Because they're very sweet.

They love you.

They didn't know.

Well, they love me, but they love me.

In the video, sometimes you can't really tell at a glance.

This looks like it's an extension of the hair.

Oh, it's all just look up.

It kind of looks like sometimes that it's your hair.

Oh, that's so cool.

Well, this is 100% squirrel, which is very tricky.

How many squirrels did they have to?

This costs

is that your phone?

That is her phone.

Yeah, that's an old person's phone ring.

You want to put that on quiet?

Depends.

Yeah, this is made out of 100%

Texas squirrel, and they had to catch about 500 squirrels.

Hold on, please.

Can you believe that?

They caught 500 squirrels from the trees to make this jacket for her.

This is not funny.

This is a Texas squirrel.

Okay, this is not even funny, even why.

No,

we have an overabundance of squirrels here.

We have a squirrel problem.

So they're letting people shoot squirrels out of trees.

I am moving from the United States.

Oh, I swear to you, it's a huge problem.

You can even, here's the thing: they used to let you only do it with a bow and arrow, and then they said, No!

No, no, I'm telling you.

Can you buy that jacket?

Of course, it supports the Texas economy.

Now they're letting people hit, stab them with knives, and throw rocks.

I'm serious.

We're telling you the truth.

This is a squirrel problem in this.

They are tearing up people's gardens, and the resources for the squirrels are out of control right now.

It's really crazy.

And their meat is not very good.

It's very gamey, so we're not taking away food from the homeless or anything like that.

I leave the squirrels alone for this.

Can I talk?

I love squirrels.

You do?

Why?

They're such menaces.

I don't know what you are, but they are no menaces.

Whatever menaces is.

They're like villains.

They're like the villains of

suburbia.

Yes, they are.

Really?

They steal those nuts from the other creatures.

So how do you want them to survive, huh?

But making jackets.

They need to be.

So you kill them for them to survive.

You're villains.

Well, we have to kill them to keep the population down.

They're rascals.

I thought you told me that.

Oh,

their fur is nice.

So these are all the tails.

They just use the tail, and then I throw away the body because because who cares?

What?

You know what they kind of are, though?

Are you trying to be funny?

No, here's the thing.

This is not funny.

These are the gypsies of the animal kingdom.

True story.

You know how when you see a gypsy, you're like, oh, he can sing, he can dance.

And then you realize, where did my wallet go?

No.

It's kind of like a squirrel.

They taunt our dogs.

They taunt your cats.

I know they steal the food from the birds.

Yep.

I still love that.

Look how many jackets you're swinging by right now.

I see.

Made out of squares.

Well, I'm saying, I'm scrolling this, I'm thinking of jackets and jackets and jackets that they're gonna make.

We gotta get into this business.

You have the worst mentality.

What?

Me?

Tommy, you are becoming extremely materialistic.

What?

Why?

Yeah.

He's already thinking that we can sell, that we can make jackets.

Make jackets.

No, he's an environmentalist.

He's not a son.

He's a criminal.

I mean, he wants to get rid of the.

Look, here's one of those menacing little critters right now.

That's the exact squirrel we have problems with.

This particular breed.

See, now you want a jacket.

I can get you a jacket.

No, thanks.

You can bring me a squirrel.

Look, he's holding a gun.

I know.

Texan squirrel.

Funny story.

He's trying to fight us.

Can we talk about the cruise?

Yeah, we did.

So,

we did this.

Yeah, we did this already.

So, I guess the only thing I have in my head again is can we talk about Hawaii?

I still remember.

Everybody remembers.

You know what I think you would like?

Drink.

Oh, yeah, I am not an alcoholic.

No, you're not.

No, no, but I do remember that every time I come to the show,

I look like an alcoholic because

I watched pie shows.

I look like, wow.

Nobody says that.

You've got

to be just feeding me and feeding me to see this look honey.

That's not honey.

That's not honey?

That's not honey.

No.

What's not honey?

The opposite of serious.

Is honey?

Funny.

Oh.

Charlo, may I ask you a personal question?

It's respectful.

It is with all respect.

You're a player of bridge.

You loved playing bridge back in Florida.

And when you came to Texas, I offered to find you a bridge opportunity to go play with other people and stuff and then I sent you an opportunity today to go play at a at a bridge club and you declined.

Why did you decline?

You can tell the truth.

I'm telling the truth.

The truth is you know this is a really hard stage right now for me.

Sure.

'Cause after twenty so much years in one place,

the only, you know, the light here that really make me all do is for the two of you and my kids, my babies.

But it's a heart change at my age.

Yeah.

And the place I lived longer since I got married was Vero.

And Vero is a very small town.

You know, you take my left and go straight at my church.

I hear out here, go to my right, drive a node.

I mean, it's my bridge and the cemetery.

So this is wonderful, but I want to tell you, you guys couldn't be more generous,

more loving,

more caring.

And I really feel like in my family, and I have moved because I went from one side of my family to the other one, and I never spent time with you guys.

And you gave us not only a dream, but an impossible thing to have more at my edge, having this

private, whatever you want to call it, even costume money or idase, it was so much love.

It was

excuse me.

You guys can make coffee, wine, and water.

Yeah.

Which one should I choose?

Back to the bridge.

May I just, may I.

You wrote back and you said, this bridge is a social club.

I play for money.

No, I pay to play.

I don't play for money.

You pay to play?

Yeah.

Yes, it's a club.

And everyone you want to play, you have to pay.

And my club was $10 each time I go to play.

I don't win anything.

If I play really well, I might get half of a point.

But since I lost my husband, which means three years ago, I was a decent player.

Since then, well, I didn't play for over a year.

But since then, I haven't even got a point.

You don't practice it for a few years.

It's hard at my age.

Everything is hard at my age.

You're old as shit.

You're 80 years old.

How old are you?

You pretend that you are a baby.

You're not a teenager, huh?

I'm 33.

You are not 33.

34 in April.

Okay, I am going to be 78.

No, excuse me, Troy Ablando, 68.

You're going to be 68?

Wait till you see me after this.

I want to make a public.

Public.

Uh-huh.

That he offered me to pay me to make Domini look like the 92.

What?

What?

I don't know.

But I am going to do a thing.

You want to get filler.

And I told you I found the doctor, but you can't just go to some nickel and diamond.

No, some nickel and diamonds, excuse me.

You have to go to a reputable plastic.

Yeah,

no, because I don't want to postpone it.

Did you get it?

She just wants to get a quick fix.

Did you get any injections already?

Did you do anything?

Yes.

How'd it go?

She didn't have time for me.

Oh.

Well, no, there's no story.

She told me she can do bottles.

It was only in two areas.

I didn't ask her the reason.

I suspected yes or whatever.

And that she cannot do anything else because it's by appointment.

So she did it, but it's kind of stupid to be honest.

I can't remember where.

You don't remember where?

I don't remember if she did it here or here.

Probably your forehead.

It was here.

I remember now.

That's the story.

Wait a minute.

You owe me a lot of money.

And I want to make it public.

And I want you to affirm.

No, like one time.

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Yeah, no, hey.

Okay.

Jesus, Joe.

A.

hey.

Years ago.

Oh, we're going to years ago.

Wait, I don't know, two years, a year and a half.

Oh, my God.

But we agree.

I forgot.

So,

do you know that people are also getting filler in their buttholes and in their vaginas?

In their vaginas.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

They're putting them in their vaginas.

Safe.

They're putting it in.

I'm getting out.

You don't talk to me.

I am still your mother.

So please respect me.

What about, hold on.

I understand you're asking.

What's the morgue?

No.

What about

a breast enhancement?

Would you consider getting a boob job?

Me?

Here's the thing.

I know you don't like wearing a bra.

You can get implants so that you don't even have to wear a bra.

This is way too funny.

She liked it.

But if you get implants, you can put them in that one there.

I like.

I want to be laughing and be smiling.

No, ha, ha, ha.

This is funny.

Those are her tetas.

Impossible.

They are.

Okay.

Take her to lift the shirt.

She can lift that shirt.

We'll take her to do it.

I don't have her number.

Because nobody has two tetas in the shape of a balloon without the.

Those are her tetas, mom.

Oh, okay.

Senka.

Okay, that's it?

No.

She has size 40p jugs.

Yep.

And then she can make them clap by doing this.

She's trying to promote her OnlyFans account.

and attract more fans.

Yeah.

You pay to watch her do it?

Yeah.

You pay for more access.

You can see them without the shirt.

I think we really are losing anything in this world.

You think it's funny?

No, no.

We don't laugh.

Here's something that I drink.

It's something I think is funny.

Everything you think is funny, as long as it's disgusting, it's filthy, it's insulting.

So we encourage

this is her, mom.

So you can see that her chest is really her chest.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Those are peacups.

That's

enormous.

Yeah.

That's her.

That's her chest.

Oh, wow, that's headsteel.

Yeah, she's got them too.

She's got a bra on Tommy.

That's not

it, but look how much people love it.

Fire, fire emoji, fire.

I love all your videos and pictures.

You know what that tells you?

What?

That people are mean.

No, they love her.

It's not mean.

What do you mean?

They're being sincere.

What do they tell her?

They dance.

She looks great.

No, so sexy.

They love it.

Your videos or pictures are amazing.

I love them.

What was a nice, nice public whatever it's called okay

so

we encourage people mom to go to starbucks and go to the drive-thru okay yeah and order your coffee in a british accent okay

and then to tell the person that works at starbucks happy birthday These are Americans generally doing this, so they're not Brits, but they're pretending to be British.

And what we've asked them to do is record yourself saying, hello, love.

Let me get a coffee and you look lovely.

And happy birthday.

And then send us the video.

And because we did it and we had fun doing it, so we have asked people to do it and now they're doing it, okay?

So that's what you're going to see.

There we go.

Hi.

Hello.

Live 17.

How are you today?

I'm doing all right.

How are you doing, love?

Excellent.

Oh, my goodness.

Where are you?

Are you from Australia?

No, I'm from London.

Oh, shoot.

He's from London.

Great accent.

Yeah, right?

Thank you, love.

How do you now?

Couldn't you repeat your drink just so we could hear it again?

We heard you the first time.

Oh, you're so lovely.

Thank you.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, happy birthday.

Oh, my goodness.

Tommy, que sister.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Oh, bet your ice coffee.

Best drink of the day, Love.

Have a fresh water.

Oh, that was awesome.

That was amazing.

She was great.

Oh, you got her little loose in it.

But do you see, like, chicks dig a British accent too?

Oh my god, do they ever?

Dude, Amy got a best drink of the day.

Wait, I don't know if you're serious.

I'm totally serious.

You have a really serious problem.

I don't think we want to talk here because people can't hear it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Tommy, if you think,

what was it that we just watched?

I don't know.

I just got through explaining to you what you were going to see.

I said I told people to

go to Starbucks, speak in a British accent,

and then tell the person working there happy birthday.

Okay, do it again, Naber.

I mean, we just watched the whole thing.

I don't remember.

Can you hear it in your headphones?

Can you hear the clip?

I mean, I did it first.

Happy birthday.

She wants to try to stop.

Stroll.

Chop it.

Okay.

That's you.

Right.

Okay.

What were you doing?

Hello, love.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, love.

Thank you, love.

The kids are in the back.

They love that.

Okay.

Thanks, love.

They're laughing right now.

They love it.

There you go, for your birthday.

And what did you give him?

20 bucks.

380.

That's nice.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, my God.

It's your birthday.

What accent is that?

I don't know.

A bad British one.

It's supposed to be an awful British accent.

Like as bad as they all are trying to be, but

yeah, so we're telling our listeners, because we've done, you tell the listeners to go to Starbucks or wherever, drive through, and do a fake British accent.

And you have to say, happy birthday

and keep the accent.

Keep the accent the whole time.

Do a bad British accent.

Okay, hold on.

That was another question.

They had nothing to do with that.

Okay.

Here's another one.

Keep thinking.

Yeah.

Excuse me, I can't hear you.

Can I have a large iced coffee, please?

I get it.

Yes, happy birthday.

That's all.

I'm going to make a birthday.

Thank you.

you.

Yes, happy birthday.

Okay.

There you go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And this is for you guys.

Thank you so much.

Absolutely.

What is funny about this one?

Thank you.

This is one of the stupidest things ever was.

That's the point.

Oh, Roy, I love you.

Thank you.

No reaction.

So good.

Oh, so funny.

This is so bad.

Yeah, so much fun.

Can I tell you what happened to me?

Wait, can I tell you the coolest thing happened to me this weekend?

I was with our sons at a restaurant, and you have to walk up to the cashier to order, right?

So Julian and I are there.

We order.

We're just kind of standing here.

A woman comes up, and I hear her go, Hey, Hitler, I'd like to order a cheeseburger and fries and da-da-da.

And then she goes, Thank you, mommy.

What?

And I was like, and we both went, oh, it was the coolest thing ever.

Really?

Yeah, I saw it in the wild.

I saw one in the wild.

That's amazing.

Did you like that?

I loved it.

And your song confused you with another woman.

You seen this is something to look?

What?

I don't think she understands that.

Yeah, you said you were in a place.

Yeah.

You were with wait with a woman that looked like you.

And you both sat and started talking.

That's not what she said.

Okay, I want to hear the game because let's watch the video.

I am not losing it.

Yeah, maybe we should explain it through these videos.

Okay, here we go.

Here's another one.

No, another one.

Why don't we go back to the one?

Hold on.

What did he say?

Hello, Governor.

Hello, Governor.

Happy birthday.

Okay.

Thank you.

Have you tried that drink before?

This one, I've tried it before.

Not really.

You guys are having more than serious music.

I told my brother it was good.

He didn't believe me.

And he finished it in four sips.

He believes me now.

What What is this about?

I don't have any idea what are we talking about about this guy.

I'm going to throw up.

Saying happy birthday to somebody and you guys are laughing like, this is as dumb as you can go.

Welcome to the show.

Oh, that's the whole thing?

Yes.

Oh, I can make laughter.

You can.

Well, that's the other thing.

So your OnlyFans is obviously in the works.

We're not going to quit until you sign up.

for what?

OnlyFans

to say good morning, good evening, good night.

That's all I have to say for real.

Say hello, governor.

No, that's not good morning.

No, just say it.

Hello.

Hello, Governor.

Hello, Governor.

Yeah.

Governor.

Governor.

Hello, Governor.

There you go, Abdin.

That's fantastic.

That's perfect.

How do you say in French?

Whatever I'm forgot what I'm saying.

Bonjour, le governor.

Bonjour, bonjour.

Bonjour, le governor.

Good morning, le morning.

I don't know how to speak so much.

Yeah.

Ah, there you go.

Why do you have to screw up shows?

Who is that guy there, huh?

That's the last guy that said happy birthday.

I want to keep him there.

Yeah.

Bonjour, governor.

bonjour governor

i will say it again that's so retarded i want to hear the accent i have to pick which one maybe christina should do the french or the british bonjour governor either one is bonjour de french

bonjour governor governor

bonjour

bonjour governor

governor oh this is sexy look bonjour

governor

and then it is your birthday.

Is that French?

Yeah.

It sounds like a French trying to speak in English.

That's the whole point.

It is a very important thing.

That was my brain functioning.

It is.

The whole sentence.

It is your birthday.

It is your birthday.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Can I have?

Can I have on?

On.

Cafe latte.

Cafe la T.

Happy Berthe.

Happy Berthe.

Perfect.

Can you do that today at Starbucks later?

Perfect.

Are you going to pay me for saying that?

No, he's part of the show.

That's why you want to go to the bottom.

Okay, don't talk.

Oh, hit the speaker.

Just repeat what you hear.

Listen, repeat

the joy you daniversaire.

Otrevés?

Ah, one

Wow, that was really impressive.

What is it that she was supposed to say?

She's saying, Can I have a cafe latte?

Happy birthday.

Cafe?

Hello, Gavna.

Puja

Latte.

Hey, can I watch that guy do a governor again?

Yeah, so funny.

He goes, Hello, Gavna.

Hello, it's your birthday.

While you laugh, again,

okay.

One more time.

Hello, Gavna.

Happy birthday.

That guy in the window just had to probably went,

what, dude?

Hello,

I don't get the jokes I love hello governor so dumb that expression is like a really

old-timey like a working class

Southeast I lost it totalmente okay well

it's an accent that is make it in short please it's like a cockney way of saying she doesn't know what that means it's like a lawa slang it's slang it's like British slang

hello governor okay it's like that sounds like you know what?

Hello, governor.

Sounds like a farmer.

Right.

It's supposed to be kind of low class, yeah.

You're sounding like you're not a person.

But why are you sounding British with low class?

Because it's fun.

It's within the British, like there's scale

spectrum to the actual

stupid American.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

But so, like, if you say, how y'all doing?

It sounds like a certain type of person.

My type of person.

That's your type of person.

That's right.

That's why we like the governor.

That's what I'm saying.

That's why we like this government.

no no stop there i uh what's happening i don't want to talk about your own because i don't care for any governor there at all who's your governor oh my god we're not talking who's

what are we talking about i forgot who is your governor because i don't know what i'm saying who is your governor

my governor is

don't ask me opinions about anything political we won't we're not getting

touch here no i want to ask you a few questions

Have we talked about the cruise?

Yes, yes.

It's been a few times already.

Did I thank you?

No, wait a second.

We gotta keep watching.

I don't think it's fair and it's disrespectful when I'm talking that you throw me the que say so.

There's a woman screaming.

Well, I am talking.

I'm not coming back.

Why?

I am talking and you throw me.

That's when I am talking.

It's just a thing here.

You know what?

I haven't done that.

I will.

So, here's what we're gonna do.

I am talking.

Oh, I didn't know you were talking.

Go ahead.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Can you please tell me what you were saying?

I don't remember.

I know I was talking.

I know, I know.

I said

I have water and then you said, Well, as we were talking about it, and you just throw me out.

I'm still the mother.

Totally.

All of you wouldn't be here.

That's true.

I mean, you would be here, but no.

I wouldn't.

I wouldn't have my sweet, wonderful husband.

I wouldn't have my grandbabies if it weren't for you.

Yeah.

It's true.

If it weren't for you.

You wouldn't have your grandbabies and you would have your husband.

And my whole life, I have to thank you.

It's a true story.

Thank you, Gavna.

Thank you, Gavna.

Thank you, Governor.

Happy birthday.

It's your birthday.

It's your birthday.

Happy birthday.

Who is your governor?

Happy birthday.

Still, Senor Cruz?

No, he's never been the governor.

He's a senator.

Oh, who was Abbott?

Is the governor?

Senor Abbott.

The same thing or no?

The same thing.

He's still the governor.

Yeah.

So

what happened with Arnold Fochenager?

He was governor.

It's been a while.

He did a good job.

He was governor in California.

That's the question.

Yeah, but

three things I want to talk.

Oh, man.

No, no, no, no.

this is extremely serious the fires in california okay we're i mean praying all over the world for this stuff and it's very sad for people

that wasn't that was josh he pushed the button josh sorry about that stop pushing so i cannot talk about anything no you can you can't

ruin that that was completely uncultivated

um cut his salary and give it to the poor give it to the poor it's a great idea he knows he's on board with that so disrespectful he's he's mentioned that to me before

He doesn't think that what?

He's wanted to do that.

He said he was going to do that.

So you said.

So you accept it?

I accepted it.

I said, donate your salary.

He said, yes.

Well, you do the same.

It's my bad day.

So.

So

you want to talk about the fires and how destructive they are, how the end of the world is coming because of things like the fires.

And 3 million percent agree.

And there's so many people's pronouns.

It's all indicators that the world is coming to an end.

Yes.

Okay.

Anything else?

Doesn't that scare you enough?

I used to know if there was another.

You know what, Tommy, that bothers me is you know how Catholic, devoted, and believer I am.

So for me, when I talk about anything related that any word of God.

Can you pull the mic down some?

Like who?

Can you pull it from here?

From here.

Reach the other way, other way.

Closer to you.

No, no, closer to you.

Below?

Below?

Lower.

Now we have to do a supercut here.

Times we've asked.

No, no, no.

No, the opposite.

Right.

Just show her.

That and a super cut of

what are we talking about?

Yeah.

Okay.

Thank you.

Thanks, Jack.

I forgot.

That's what we have to do.

Super cut.

Pull it down.

There you go.

No, not up.

So, this is what I want to do.

No, no, no.

Put it down because it covers your face.

We don't want it to cover your face.

We want it to be like this.

That would be a wonderful.

Oh, by the way, you want to pay me for the beautiful future face.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I really want to talk about something serious.

Okay, so the end of the world.

No, no, this is really serious.

This is really serious.

This is very serious.

I want to go over who queers.

Are you going to cover her?

Who quares?

Who queers?

Who queers?

Who cares?

Who cares?

I thought you guys were.

Because of your Catholic devotion, you were saying.

What was the question?

May I ask you this, since you are devout Catholic?

Josh.

Please.

Since I don't know.

You have to.

Let me tell you one thing, Tommy.

This is extremely serious.

I know.

I know.

No.

so you don't know what I'm going to say.

Okay, I know.

If we talk about religion, if you don't have extreme respect to my religion, I do, I do, I do.

Oh, no, it really made me cry.

I don't want to.

No, I'm just asking this.

Is there anything in the Bible about the end of times?

Is it similar to what's happening now?

No.

No?

No.

Okay.

Well, then that's good.

Then we're okay.

And I know you think this is funny.

I don't think it's funny.

But I don't see anybody taking serious.

We start with the

virus?

No, no, the vaccine.

The vaccines?

The vaccine was.

Pandemic, COVID?

Because of COVID.

COVID is an indicator.

COVID was an indicator.

The glaciers are melting.

The glaciers are melting.

I mean, just going over there.

No, you're right.

And you're not.

The temperature of the earth went up.

How about that?

Yes,

it's embarrassing every place.

But I think you think this is funny for

me.

It's all there.

I know.

It's horrible.

It bothers me.

I think any sensitive person bothers.

Why is I hear people laughing when I'm in the middle?

But may I tell you you something?

That's why it's so important

that we provide laughter, hold on, and joy for people.

That's why hello, governor,

is very important and happy birthday.

It's that when you think it's silly, but the world is so silly and serious.

It's nice that there's some place and some people that go, you know what?

It is all serious.

It is all heavy.

Everything is substantial, and the gravity of things are very weighty.

So it's nice that there's a

show,

Sunday ceremony.

She's like, speed it up.

Get your point.

The point being, laughter is important.

Listen, it's important to make people laugh still

because the world is getting darker.

Any

okay, this part is not funny.

And I can't say that's not funny.

One more time.

One more time.

I just don't know what to do.

Disrespect.

Guys, come on.

This is not funny.

I don't know how this is.

Seriously, I agree.

You keep doing it, and you guys are.

No, it's them.

Knock it off.

I'm sorry, it's buttons.

Okay, you have zero respect in this place.

Who runs this place?

I thought I did.

Well, it's clearly you.

They've taken over.

I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

And Kristina came just as a guest to show how pretty she is or what?

That's so rude.

From Tommy or from the company?

Oh, my God.

I'm trying my hardest to keep these boys in line.

You are the one who is doing it.

Doing what?

The right thing.

Again, guys.

I mean, I don't know how else to yell at that.

But what is this a stupid thing, anyway?

I don't know.

I'm, you know what?

It is upsetting.

This is so dumb.

Tom, we need to.

Your mother's right.

We should change how we do this show.

I know.

I don't.

I don't.

What would you, what should we do?

We don't know.

The problem is, we're so depraved.

We don't know what to do.

Well, what should we do?

You tell me.

Number one, I will clean up the act of the parts and stupid things.

Maintain your class.

You two are brilliant people.

So no farts.

No, Christine, why is the point of the part to

make people laugh?

Guys, what the hell, guys?

What happened?

I don't know.

So we clean up the act.

Okay?

I am perfectly fine, thank you.

Oh, my God.

All right?

I'm just making sure I'm just trying to.

Oh, you see, it looked like you were about to.

Yeah.

What?

I thought you were going to have a belch.

I was going to give you a moment.

What is a belch?

Like a burp?

I thought you had gas in it.

No, no, I don't have those things.

Oh, okay.

They were gone.

Okay.

What kind of thing should we be talking about?

Like, if you could have notes for us on the show, what do you think would make it better?

How to make it.

How is my apple smell, huh?

That would be a good way to improve your show.

Get out of those filthy stuff.

Yeah.

You can say we will be back and put something funny, but no, you know like mafalda

it says though what you meet parts with clubs i don't know i thought we were talking about how we can improve things

how we can like get away from stuff like that something funny like notting hill so should i be i should watch that maybe we should watch notting hill as a company you know why don't we do here's what i want you to do

so i just saw it not too long ago josh set up a screening of notting hill for the entire company to watch together you got it And then I want to do a podcast that is inspired by the movie Notting Hill.

What does Notting Hill have to do with the kitchen?

It's a tone.

It's a tone that you want to adapt.

Okay.

Okay.

But we want you to come back on the show and see if it's like Notting Hill approved.

What does have?

Wait a minute.

What is Notting Hill?

Because you thought it was funny, remember?

You were at my house.

I love it.

And you love it.

And so I want to make a show that you're proud of.

end world.

Ah, yeah.

So I want to watch with the staff, Notting Hill, and see what's funny in there.

And then maybe we could put that in your mom's house and make it a better show.

Yeah.

One that you'd be proud of.

I am always proud.

No,

no, when you talk so grotesque and disgusting and

so low-class.

It is so low-class.

But you guys are.

What do you like to be in between?

Let me be the lowest or the highest.

Don't give me the highest.

The highest.

No, it's not the highest.

Can you just be normal?

But to accept something grotesque and

normal.

This is coming with me.

Yeah, what?

Do you want a squirrel jacket?

I can get one for you.

Do you remember?

What is wrong with you?

Why?

Because you already asked me this around 25 times.

But you don't want.

You're telling me you don't environment.

You know what?

I don't care what you tell me.

I think you told me a lot of things on the side.

A lot of things on the squirrel stuff.

Can I show you the squirrel issues in this state?

I love them.

but here's the thing the the fact that the state is paying people to shoot squirrels and stab them like hit them with hatches that is true because that's not funny

and the homeless can hunt them and eat them you also by the way and this episode this is not funny you know that that this

episode i you have no i you're not you have you don't waste your time with me you have cut me off so many times and told me to wrap it up quicker get to the point you know that you've done that multiple times have i yes it's very disrespectful.

And I

think Tom.

Can I tell you something?

I think it hurts Tom's feelings.

What is it that I did?

It hurts Tom's feelings when you don't listen to his full thought and you cut him off.

But if you're going to make it 35 minutes every time what he thinks.

Oh my gosh, is that what you're attracting?

Number one, when was I rude?

Oh, my God.

You cut him off.

You know what?

Did I tell you I'm having my own show?

Did you know that?

You have what?

I'm going to have my own show.

Your own spot.

What is it going to be like?

What is it going to be like?

Nice things?

Pleasant things?

The name of the show?

What's it called?

Nice things?

No, she's saying, what will your podcast be like?

It's yours, so you can do whatever you want.

I know, I'm thinking and making it, you know, amazing, but no, because you do something like that.

What would it be about?

Well, that's the thing.

I mean,

what's compelling to you?

What's interesting?

No parts.

Well, then.

No farts.

If I am not going to have followers, because I'm not disgusting, doesn't make any sense that I have to show it.

You know, if I can make it clean, funny,

I'll be there.

So, if you like it, so this like Bill Cosby, he was clean, funny.

Yeah,

no, like Bill

Cosby's comedy was very clean, funny.

Yeah, and that's true.

And in jail, you want me to do it like that?

Well, that's not like that.

That's not my fault.

Number one,

I think I'm old, so I'm not as stupid as I was when I was 20.

That's true.

So, you think I'm going to do something.

Yeah.

I told me.

I just want the world to know you're not my son.

You actually adopted.

Because I would never raise my kids to go on TV

to do all these ghastly things.

And I think it's funny.

You don't.

And I know you don't.

Because

who is this?

What the fuck, you guys?

Why do you keep telling me this in between?

Chat up, chat up, chat up.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

But what is this?

Do I have any tick tocks we could show her um

i want to start talking on tick tock you are you should how do i do it you you oh you would have a huge tick tock following you would have a huge oh here we go

oh

i found this account that only shows people falling from heights and i don't show it to me why because i don't think it's funny to be dumb to be dumb you go no high and decide to jump but no it's an accident this is to help it's an

this is educating the public on what not to do to keep them safe.

This is positive.

I think it's a Persian guy.

I don't have a clue what you're saying.

Maybe Turkey.

He's giving like, well, yeah, it could be like Turkish.

I'll tell you what it is.

Or is that Arabic?

Are you answering him?

This might be a good segment for your new show.

Yes!

I have an idea.

What if it's a love connection show?

If I could do that, I would have my follow-up

connection.

Okay, how do we call it?

Because there is 50,000 gold.

Comuera?

Love connection.

Love connection.

It's like

many of these that they have now.

It's last last chapter love connection, or

is this it?

The final connection?

What is your

final connection?

Because you're killing us?

No, because you guys are about to die because you're old.

That's dumb.

You can die before us.

But I'm

going to be careful.

You know, you think this is funny.

Yeah.

I don't think guys think it's funny.

Well, I'm not laughing.

Hey, I'm going to probably die.

I'm not laughing.

We almost hit this when you were laughing.

Okay.

So what about just like

we're old, but we ain't dead, or something like that?

What are we talking about right now?

Your show.

My show?

I have nothing to do with my show.

Okay.

Hello, Sick Nation.

I'm calling from Uppsala in Sweden, and I want to show this amazing stick that I found.

Wow, that stick is incredible.

That's right.

You want me to do stuff like that?

Maybe you can do a thing about sticks that you find in the yard.

And then I find you to do it for me.

No, this would be your.

I'm not going to have a show about dumb things.

You know, one time.

there's

so dumb dumb.

I'm glad to see more cactus material.

Remember when we were doing the

cactus stuff or sticks?

You could do a whole thing on sticks.

This is so dumb.

Wait, can I tell you something?

I think you guys, you know, you were going up, up, up in the race and don't know what else to do.

Thinking and going better, you're starting like this.

Hold on.

My rage has been overflowing lately, so I filmed my rage ritual this morning so you can see what healthy rage can be.

Catharsis.

I like it.

Yeah, she's letting out her

is this how you spend your mornings but she's making money

not to make my money but i will do it

is this how you feel doing ours will do this no i don't want you talking about me doing this for a show you don't have to do this for the show i'm saying that no no no no but it's healthy rage if i am desperate to make money and somebody tell me that i'm this dumb but i make money i'd be this dumb i don't know you could totally do this on your only fans

but so my show is going to be you hitting this pillow getting out your rage, maybe against Tom and me for putting you through this show.

And Josh Zolo, and any other.

Here's the other thing you have to do.

You are doing a commercial for yourself right now.

What?

Hold on.

Thank Tom and me.

And them for playing these clips.

Listen, this is a real serious question.

If you have a other ones, weren't serious?

Well, this one's more serious.

If you have a very committed fan who is, they subscribe to you.

And you know that when they send you a message, when somebody sends you a message like, what's up?

And you reply, they have to pay you to reply.

Okay.

So every time.

Reply.

Yes.

But just let me finish.

So if they're very committed, they're paying their monthly subscription.

They're choosing to engage with you and paying you to reply every time a couple bucks, couple, like, you know, if you have a...

20 message reply, you made like 50 or more dollars.

If someone's doing that day after day, would you consider having like a little fart video that you would send as a bonus?

Why don't you start by that?

That's totally

wasting time.

No, no.

You made me talk about Monet Rolega.

I told it.

Well, who's that?

Tommy.

That was you.

I thought, what is funny about Tommy?

I think she's about to fall off a mountain.

And you'd make this as a joke show?

No.

They saved her.

Okay, okay.

They saved her.

her.

Look, she had a wrong climbing and I'm gonna have to change topics.

Okay.

Oh my god, I can't.

This is Martez.

He has made a serious mistake.

Somehow, he has squeezed into this maze.

Take a look.

His most logical entrance is.

He's an idiot.

Look at his feet.

He's so sick.

You want another coffee for real?

coffee is impossible.

One cup of coffee doesn't make me annoyed.

No, coffee.

Please.

No, but for today.

His words sound calm, but his face becomes a little bit of a colour.

You know, sometimes you push a button and they come, no.

Do I have push a button and they come?

Like a butler?

No.

Abe?

I can do that here.

I have to get the right.

This isn't the four seasons.

For me, like five seasons.

Our pussy's itch.

And then

coffee on the way.

There.

Mentio totally.

Yeah.

Wait, can I explain what you're watching?

Coffee on the way.

This grown man got to in a children's playground, got stuck inside of like a metal children's playground toy.

And now he can't get out.

He might die in there, yeah.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I don't want him to die.

And that is not something you wish to anybody.

But how are they going to get him out?

They can't cut the

cut.

They stop and they cut and then put him in jail and just leave him there

to try to pay for

what is it that he did?

He got stuck in a children's playground toy like an idiot.

Now, when you say it's just a coffee, just so you know, since you've been here, this will be number four or five that you're having, just so you know.

After the three I have at home, yeah, and none of these are decaf.

No, no, we don't have decaf.

No, we don't do that.

What do you mean you don't do that?

It's not the disease.

I do it at my house for you.

I have special decaf pods for you at my house

because I have empathy for that.

All right.

No, wait a minute.

You know what I just realized?

I never talk about what I want to talk.

Oh, shit.

That was pretty good.

I have to throw it and absorb everything you talk to me.

And when I ask you for 10 minutes of my time, I don't, I can't.

Well, we covered everything already.

No.

Okay.

Number one, did we talk about the cruise?

Yes.

Yes.

Hours ago.

And did I thank you enough?

Well, enough.

I don't think enough.

I don't think people understand

the magnitude of the present.

And it's not only

God knows how many million dollars you spend in doing this,

including us and giving us that love.

Another coffee.

But it's not good.

Thank you, Heather.

No.

She's not dosing you.

Hey, that's my royal cup.

What do you think?

That's from the Queen.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's from the Jubilee.

Pretty cool, huh?

God save the Queen.

I think that's from her Platinum Jubilee.

Don't Don't be retarded.

Who's that?

I didn't say that.

Who's that?

How did you get that?

I ordered it from.

I ordered it from Buckingham Palace.

It's from England.

Don't be retarded.

At the worst part?

Sounds like it's me.

No.

No.

That's not you.

That doesn't sound like you.

No.

So I am losing.

No, wait a minute.

I might be retarded, but I'm not stupid.

Okay.

So, yes.

Both face killers is a poet from the streets.

That's how I like my answers.

I have no both pain steers is accomplished from my foot.

God save the queen.

Yeah.

Retard is fat and racist.

Hello, Gavna.

Hello, Gavna.

Porque suena como musifuera mi bos.

Oh no.

What's up there, Chomo?

That's my voice, Tommy.

You like it?

Tata there, retard.

Tata, tata there, retard.

Is that my voice?

I don't know.

Maybe it's like somebody who sounds like it.

Well, then they have to pay me.

I don't know.

Can I be retarded?

I don't know.

You can.

Who's that guy upstairs?

I'm concerned.

That's the guy we were just talking about on the playground.

He's stuck in the playground, remember?

He's stuck in the playground, remember?

You wanted him to die a minute ago.

You were happy that he didn't.

I don't want him to die.

Oh, I don't wish death to anybody.

Make it clear.

Okay.

Sorry, I misunderstood.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry, I misunderstood.

Okay, forgive me, hold on.

Hold on.

No.

Okay.

Any, you really need to take a shit.

I know you're black and you guys do your own thing, but you still have to shed.

Well, if there's any right there, I don't know.

Any you need to shed?

Thank you.

I will.

Thanks for for the reminder, Charlotte.

I appreciate you.

Why did you say that?

Why will I talk about stuff like that?

I don't.

You've said that to me pretty much every time you've came in here.

Who is this?

That's Enny.

That's Annie.

Me?

Any?

The good-looking, the young one?

Yeah, the good-looking young one right there.

He's waving at you.

No, the old, ugly one.

That's me.

Oh, good-looking, good-looking.

But I told you what?

You said you have to take a shit.

I know you're black.

What?

I mean, isn't that what the thing said?

Eddie.

What did you say?

Huh?

Any.

Not any.

Any.

Yeah.

The guy said you have to share.

And you can tell.

Maybe you're black and you guys do your own thing, but you still have to share.

Yeah, it's like, because you know how, like, sometimes black guys, we don't shed.

I like your Lord.

Tommy, no, this is not funny.

I'm not taking this as funny.

Okay.

Why is it?

Okay, no, no.

You guys are rude.

I can't believe you make my word to become disgusting.

No way.

Okay, okay.

Did you guys do that on anything?

No, bro.

Guess what?

What?

Guess what?

What?

I'm taking you to buy me something.

This is Charlotte, the real mom at your mom's house.

Kick back, hold your nuts, and listen to this real ass new shit.

That's not me, Tommy.

No, no, no.

That's AI.

I think this is what they did.

They put this together with artificial intelligence, and they're framing you.

They're trying to make you say bad things.

That really pieces me ho.

Me too.

Me too.

And you guys.

We're going to get to the bottom of this.

No, the bottom is you don't care a bit.

What are you talking about?

After this, we're going to scold.

It's dangerous.

I want to talk about three things.

Protect your neck, brother.

No, no, this is serious.

I know I will talk about the cruise.

No, did I thank you enough?

Yes.

Yes.

It made me cry.

I have never

in my wildest dreams ever imagined a trip like this.

I'm so glad that we were all able to do it.

I was talking,

you know, from picking us up

to taking the most amazing any human being, million or a billionaire, could have.

And I want to talk about the moving here.

Moving here, yeah.

The two of you have gone above and beyond not only in inviting us.

You bought a house that you landed, use us, and it's beautiful, and you are fixing everything.

By the way, I need a washer and dryer and a dry clear.

You know, a washer and dryer doesn't work.

I have to say it because it's...

I don't know.

I don't know.

I think I forgot about the garbage.

That's my fault.

I'm going to go pee while.

No, wait, did that story?

I really have to hear it.

I am

a fucking jewel.

I was thanking you, Tommy.

No, I know.

I appreciate what you're saying.

Thank you.

Okay.

I'm not talking.

I can't hear anything.

Okay.

I...

hear your gratitude and it's a pleasure.

And obviously.

It's a pleasure.

I haven't finished you did a pretty good job no you're not going to interrupt me when i'm thanking i think what we'll do is we should probably get focused on a washer and dryer that worked for you um oh i thank you tony sure we have two weeks of dirty clothes in the house this i like that i had no idea and then i just found out now i don't have washer and dryer i don't have a dishwasher okay

the house had a dishwasher it doesn't work no they didn't put a dishwasher they took it out oh they took it out okay so I want to thank the audience for thanking my husband and his wonderful wife,

for donating us a washer and dryer

and a dishwasher.

However, I want to make sure that I never even talk about the fact about this house.

Tommy and Christina were not knowing what they were getting, but they saw they were going to be excited to have us here.

And they couldn't do any more than what they did.

So we embarked in this trip with Jane.

We took an RV with the dogs and then from there he took us in a cruise that I...

You said I already talked about

it.

Did I thank you enough?

Yes.

Did I tell any human being who has a dream in life you don't really know?

No, we're about to wrap, so just stay here.

Okay, then, okay, I did that.

Then I want to talk about the house.

I know the house is Tommy's house and Christina's house.

Sure.

But of course it's true.

You don't need to say it like that.

Oh, sorry.

That was sound like, don't remember.

don't forget that it's my house.

I didn't say it like that.

No, you said it's true.

It is true, though.

We do own it.

We're the signers on it.

I don't pay a penny, so yes, you're right.

That's what I wanted to say.

No,

I want to

record

these words.

I left a little house in Proya to come here and basically a mansion.

that I have to get used to make orders because so far I cannot tell you anything.

But you were

so

so so incredible, not only generous in buying the house and fixing anything that is not working, which Tommy just granted a washer and dryer and a dishwasher.

You did, he did.

You told me

I'm thrilled to be able to do it.

He's the most generous human being I know.

The most.

No, no, you guys laugh whatever the words you use.

Women are stupid.

Excuse me.

Tanner.

Who did that, huh?

I don't know.

Tanner.

How can you?

You know, I you run this show.

This is absolutely unacquaintable.

Your mother talks.

That is unacceptable.

We're going to meet in the conference room right after that.

Yeah, he's done.

That's unbelievable.

So, this has been such a wild treat.

The most unhinged and hectic episode

for 15 years.

The time is up though.

The crew has to go home.

The crew has to go home, they have to do ads.

But this has been such a remarkably

interesting and and

I have to say this.

Yes.

I forgot to tell you

where did you get those mattresses?

Do you like your mattress?

I like the mattress.

I want to know if it has a bug spring and I complete my games.

I'm sure

you're a sponsor.

So can I get it?

Publicly, please?

Oh my God.

Okay.

Oh my God.

It's not a yes.

So I know yet can you

get a scanner.

Please.

I don't know what you're asking me.

I forgot.

I don't know either.

A box spring.

But thank you guys for watching.

A box spring.

A box spring.

A box spring.

Thank you for listening.

Garretmata.

Tell me the name.

And we will see you

next week.

This has been the most fun episode.

We thank Charles for coming in.

We thank all of you for, of course, sending in the hello, Kapna, happy birthday videos.

And of course, for encouraging the OnlyFans, which will be hitting the World Wide Web quite soon.

I want to thank, of course, my lovely co-host, Christine, for always being here with me.

Thank you, Tim.

Our soon very reduced staff for all their misbehavior.

They're all getting fired after this.

People are getting fired after this.

What?

Well, yeah.

And of course,

the great Charo for joining us.

And our closing song is going to play right now.

We love you guys.

We'll see you soon.

The fighting people for real.

Yeah.

Because you're so unhappy.

Why am I unhappy?

Well, because you hate them mad.

Why are you guys?

It's a closing song.

Morning, night breaks.

I wake with a ground.

It is part of your show.

A pride of perfume in my own little space.

Oh, I love

smelling my heart.

It's an art from

the heart

taken by divine.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

I'm listening.

Makes me feel so far.

I let one loose while tying

my shoe

in the elevator.

There's no one else to knew.

Silent but damply

follows me.

A quiet ghost of my gassy glee.

Oh, I love

smelling my thoughts.

It's an orthon the heart,

stinky but divine divide

makes me feel so fine

People may laugh, they may flown But I won't let that get me down

You need to if I find some cheer Our personal fragrance is crystal clear

Dear

spines, and now I see

my own bouquet just flattering me.

A little blessed,

a private delight

makes my whole day

feel

alright.