Embrace The Chaos w/ Sebastian Maniscalco | YMH Ep. 782

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

You can catch our guest on the It Ain't Right Tour now. Check him out in season two of Bookie this December.
It's Sebastian, man. It's got to everybody.
Let him here. Thank you for having me here.

First time here. Thank you for coming.
Thanks for coming, man. We've been friends for

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That's true. Oh,

we haven't really been around each other

as this. That's true.

You were at the comedy store. I saw you in the Palisades.
Yeah. And...

Oh, that's right at that little cute village. Yeah, right before you.
Just being regular people.

It's always weird to see a comic in the light of day. There's people that I've only ever known in the dark at the store for like 20 years.
In a whole year.

And they're like, whoa, dude, you look totally different. You're like, man, man, you have hair? Yeah, it's wild.
Yeah, that is crazy. Anyway, Sebastian, I have the best memories of you.

The first time I saw you was in Santa Monica at a bar, some show we always did on a weeknight, you know? And you were doing your roster for less.

And I was like, that's the funniest fucking thing. That's one of those bits that made it

in the rounds. amongst comics.
So like, have you seen this guy's, this bit? You know, like everyone had like signature bits that, like, you discover people on.

And I remember, I think, hearing about that bit even before I saw it. Like, people were like, this is the fucking funniest bit I've ever seen.
Thank you.

And your cadence and your confidence. And I was like, I think I actually saw you first at the Comedy of Magic Club.
Is that where we ran into each other?

Well, I think, I don't even know if I ran into you. I was like down there.
And

I think they were like, you were having your own night, and you hadn't quite ascended to,

you know, doing huge, but that show was sold out. And I was like, How's the show sold out? Like, how does anyone know? How would people know who you are yet?

I don't think it, I think it was like pre-specials and stuff. And they were like, oh, he's got like people are, they were like discovering you.
You know what I mean?

Like in the midst of discovering you. And because I would just do like those 15-minute spots there, you know, eat salmon.

Oh, that was the best part. It's a nice salmon.
And that's, yeah, that's, I think that's when I first saw you. And I was like, oh, wow, this guy's got, yeah, I could see how funny you were.

Yeah, well, thanks. Yeah, it's

a funny relationship with comedians because going to the comedy clubs, I never really

spoke or you know, I hung out, but I didn't really like, I wasn't a hang guy. I didn't like hang out till like two o'clock in the morning.
Because you're kind of an introvert, too, right?

Yeah, I just kind of like doing my comedy, doing your business, and you go.

Yeah, especially when I met my wife, I just treated it as like, I got to go do a set, and then I'll come back home and we'll hang out. So, yeah.

But then I do remember us crossing paths at the comedy store. Yeah.
I think you brought me up one night. Yeah.

And then we did,

what was the festival we did together? That's right. And that's actually when you had popped.
Because I remember what would happen was,

this is pretty funny. I'll try to do this without hurting anyone else's feelings.
But this was Oddball.

So Live Nation decided to do their version of a, you know, a comedy festival, the way mute, like Lollapalooza or whatever. And so they booked this tour of all these cities at amphitheaters, right?

And this is like 2015, I think. I think it's like end of 2015.

And

all of a sudden, like everyone knew Sebat, like they used to do him at like Madonna. It's just one name.
Everyone's like, so lucky the one name thing.

And we, and here's the thing, though, he wasn't closing out most shows. He was like second to last.

And I remember we were like,

one of the shows, I'm sitting there with Jeff Ross, and you go up and the fucking place goes crazy. He's like, it's going to be a problem forever after this.

And I was like, yeah, that's going to suck. And then he would go up and everybody was, they're like, oh, they're out here to see you.

And we did the Chicago area one, and then we did the fucking Long Island one, the Jones Beach one. Oh, Jones Beach, yeah.
And it was pandemonium when you went up there. I was like, oh, shit.

Like, everybody was there. That was like, oh, I could see that this was going to, this is like a magic market, like the New York.
Yeah. Italians were all out.
He got, he was like, good night.

And they were just like, boop. And you just saw like, and we're like, hey, there's like two more people going up.
There were like 8,000 people at one time were leaving. We're like, oh, shit.

8,000 Italians just got up and

left. And I think it was John Mulaney actually that went on after me.
That he was, we were joking about the fact that he's up there and like

just all this cologne left the place

gone yeah

yeah it was i mean that's the thing is like you know the that spot too it's like it's actually like the sweet spot right second to last

i actually had one of the most desire like i learned this from doing that tour and i've told other people since if you ever get on one of those you go uh if you can go right before intermission that's the sweet spot that is the spot and the reason is they've seen all the like,

they're warmed up. They're like, we're at a show.
Right before intermission, sun's down. So now it's dark.
Yeah. And intermission means you can go have dinner.

So like the show is going to go on another fucking two hour because there's an intermission and then all the acts. So I would literally get like this cushion sweet spot.
And then I'd see everybody.

I'd be like, I'm going into the city. I'm going to go have dinner right now.
And it was like, I tell anybody, like, if you can call your shot on this thing right before intermission is the best spot.

That's what we did in South Africa tour.

And you come from South Africa doing comedy? We did a million years ago. We did a festival there.
Before we had children.

Durban and

Johannesburg. They ended up going.

Yeah, it was the Nando's

Chicken. Chicken.

Nando's Chicken had a tour? Yeah.

It was really fun. It was probably one of the best experiences.
And also, I'll say this. Nando's chicken is great.
On the 11th night, you're like, I don't think I want any more chicken.

Because they they would give it to you free in the green room. Yeah.
And that Perry Perry sauce by D5, you're like, I'm going to throw it. I'm going to shit blood again.

Yeah. But that was fun.
That was really fun. That was a good time.
And again, that was the thing you learned. It was like, there was all, you know,

the Live Nation one was kind of like,

I don't know. It was just kind of laid out.
Like, this is what it is. You're like, all right.

But then on the South Africa one, I feel like there was kind of like a little more egos involved. Like people,

posturing. you know i mean for like i should go here and i don't want to go and i just was like

you know happy i was like where do we go i mean it was one of those things and um was it ian ian baggle hosted right didn't he host yeah bagels man he did he host or he did no no

he did like one of the early spots before intermission and he murdered oh hey dude so funny he would destroy and yeah but that was another thing where i would watch other people kind of be like i should i think i should go here.

And I was like, oh, boy. Okay.
Do whatever you want.

And then there was one

who had the ego.

We'll just say this person shall remain nameless. However, they felt, because at the time they were a hot ticket in the States.
Yeah.

But they demanded. There's a lot of breathing going on over here

to close out this festival. And by the way, you've got heavy hitters on the show, right? Baggles, Tom Segura.
It's great. It's a good lineup.
And you got some big hitters in South Africa.

You know what I mean? You forget that you're discovering them, but

they're known.

So you go, like, you fucking show up to

another country. Like, yeah, I know what I'm doing.
They're like, yeah, so is this fucking guy. He's from here.
So, like, just some of the stuff that's. And he knows the local jokes and the culture.

And you know, that's everything. Wait, you tell it, though, because you ever want to tell the story.
I'm like sweating thinking about it. No, I think we should stop.
I think we should stop.

Oh, I was, it was getting interesting. He fucking let's just say this person demanded it

and it was very well known and it was an i'm to my contract and we were all like all right bro like go ahead knock it out and let's just say he ate some fucking african cock

like fucking aids dicks it was wild that happened to be he got booed very black and big they were big black

yeah he got booed he got booed and i remember that learning that lesson from that night of like

don't let your ego get into it. If you're in a different part of the world and this guy's the number one star, you're not the star here.
It's all relative. In certain markets, you're not the star.

If I was in Atlantic City with you, I'd be like, I think Sebastian should close the show.

For sure. I will host.

No,

you can't get all just

without saying any names. Is the comedian

still? He died? I think.

we'll tell you the name off mic and i think the answer is yes still still around still around okay

good enough

just live

get ready to cut that thing up do you do you have

it's fine so has this this show's been on how long since 2010 2010 so you got 14 years right yeah is there an archival like edit like the stuff that you edited out

somewhere on a drive? Yeah.

And like when you pass away, this comes out.

Well,

that's a great way for one last viral clip.

Put it in our will. The day we croak.
It's a great idea. Well, because Pete and I, we do this Pete and Sebastian show.
We say a lot of stuff.

Well, Pete, Pete more than I, and then we'll have to go cut it out. Yeah.
And there's all this cutout stuff, which I think is really funny. It's all the things that everybody would love to hear.
Yeah.

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Right? And then it's like, really? We can't air this because someone's going to get bumped out of shape or whatever. So, yeah, we have an archival folder.

Well, it's like, you know, we all do this, but like when we sit around, like, I just had a couple lunches with comics who the best is when they just, you go, it's good to see you.

And they just rant and talk shit. And you're like, God, I wish I could release this.

Because it's like, it's what everybody would love. And you go, yeah, you can't say it.
But man, if somebody just was like, fuck it, and release one of those, it would be unbelievable. You know?

Well, I think in the comedy community, from what I've seen from afar, if you didn't know anything about comedians, right? You would think everybody's like supportive of every other comedian.

There's just big camaraderie and everybody's just hoping everybody else does great.

I don't think that's the case, is it?

No way. It's not.
It seems like it's on the surface. I think there's camaraderie amongst certain people and certain groups.
If you're friends,

if you're actually like close and you celebrate your friend's victories and you're like, oh, that's, you know what I mean?

Like there's, or there's also this thing where like, you don't have to be friends, but if you're like,

you know, he's a good guy and you hear good news, you're like, good for that guy. He's a good guy.
I like that guy. I will say hard work always trumps even the shittiest personality in our business.

You'd be like, yeah, but they totally grinded it. They've been grinding at it so hard.
22 years. I think the time comedians get real nasty is when you're like, that fucking, what? That just happened?

Like, you didn't even do your time. Like, we're very, like, prisoners.
We're like, if you haven't fucking done the time, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true. That is true.

You got to be in the trenches for a certain amount of time. So, what is the certain amount of time?

What do you deem as like...

For what? For what

level? Because everybody has like... Well, okay, for a comedian to be making a very nice living doing stand-up, and let's say that's at the theater level,

over 10. You got to be over 10.
You got to pay over 10. I would say 15 to 17.
At theaters, if you're doing it at 10, you had some break that like

scotched. But if you're over, let's say you're just 12 years in and somebody goes, hey, this person is doing well.
People go, okay.

They've put some time into this.

Yeah,

there is a big thing for that. But then the people who pop later in life, like the ones who are like, you know, they're in

their 50 or something and they've been at, then everyone really, you can tell they really cheer for it.

It's just this thing where it's like understood, that person has been grinding away at this and they're finally getting their moment. I feel like most comics just go, I approve.
Yeah, yeah.

What do you think, Sebastian? No, I think you're around that time, I guess 12, 13 years.

I mean, there is exceptions to that rule, obviously. The one that comes to mind for me is Eddie Murphy was like, whatever, 20, 21.
That's just

like a unicorn.

Unicorn thing, which you could kind of understand why he skipped the line because he was just so super talented. But yeah, I mean, knocking around.

Then there's like the other thing, like, because that's like purely stand-up based. But then there's...

There's if your talent shines in another space and you get something because of that, I think most people go, you know, if the talent, like if they see that, if the talent is easily read, like when Tiffany Haddish popped, when she was on that movie, that

road trip,

girls trip or whatever, you watch the trailer and you're like,

man,

she's a comedy star. So no one's going to be like, I can't believe you're getting shit.
You watch that and you're like, yeah, she's clearly super talented.

I think people, and I don't have any any reference for how long she was in it then, but I just go, like, you see that she's good at this thing, right? So you kind of celebrate that, too, I think.

I do. I think so.
However, I'm going to throw another curveball at you. Yeah.
Bert's fat. Is that what you're going to say? Huge.
Yeah.

And he drinks a lot. By the way, I just saw something on Instagram with him and his wife, and he's doing the thing.
And is

there any, and I don't know what's going on on Bert's team or whatnot, but like when he's got like his whatever assistant or producers there, and they got to look at his ass or balls hanging out, is there like

human resources or anything?

Ask these guys. They've been on that side of it.

Guys, what's the thought on that? Yeah.

You just accept it?

No HR. No HR.
Yeah. He has a lot of women on his team, too.
Yeah, I noticed.

that's got to be cool for them yeah the younger ones oh there was especially it is funny that you brought this up so one time we were we were all hanging out this is like maybe a the last tour or something and it was like his guys

his team and me and then he was like yeah you know i just uh i get naked in front of people on the bus and i go you know you really shouldn't do that he's like why and i go because people

like they work for you they don't necessarily want to see you naked and he goes what and he turns and like his whole team is there. He goes, What's up with this?

And they were like, Yeah, we would appreciate it if you change behind clothes. He was like, What the fuck?

He's like, You're just saying this now. I go, Well, you never thought of this that someone doesn't want to see you change.
And he was like, All right, I'll start changing with the door closed.

I go, That's a fucking normal thing to do because he was just changing in front of people. Yeah, yeah, he's very, very comfortable.
I mean,

he is. I'll say this: I do admire, I do admire that as somebody who's so self-loathing.
And God, this looks like shit. And I fucking feel, I see him as a free bird in that regard.

And he's just like, not only that, he's like, I look great. Like,

he's like, I look great. And I'm like, okay, fucking, that's, that's a cool narrative in your head.

But I think I took your, sorry, I took your curveball away. Oh,

yeah, what was I doing? Curveball. Okay.

Do you think that there is, with all this stuff going on on the internet and podcasting, this, that, and the other thing, that comedians that are coming up now are spending the amount of time in the comedy clubs honing their act

as maybe generations before them? Or are people just worried about pumping out videos and podcasts and whatnot? It's a really insightful question. My thought on it is it's a different path.

So we also can't think in terms of just how we did it because what's available today was not available available to us.

So I think it's probably a combination of no,

like to a degree, no, they're not doing just what we did, but they're also like hyper-aware that these viral clips can change your change your ticket sales, change your career.

But I think you're right. And I don't think the clubs support feature acts as much anymore.
That's 100%. That's what it sounds like to me:

is that kids can't get you can't be a feature. There's no featuring.

you you bring who you want to bring to everybody yeah mostly the headliners bring or they'll give the kid from like tick tock who's got millions of followers who can sell out that show or whatever may not be the best act live but can move tickets which i totally understand from a club's perspective right but yeah i just don't think they're spending time they don't have the time to hone the way we did you know you would get those weeks from fucking stroop and you're like so stoked you're like oh i'm gonna work fucking 40 weeks in like toledo des moines iowa whatever and these funny bones.

And also, clubs have also changed their weeks. I didn't realize that until recently, where a lot of clubs now have changed from being the

Wednesday, Thursday, to they're like, they're like Friday, Saturday. That's it.
Yeah. There's a lot of clubs doing Friday, Saturday shows.
And maybe they'll do some.

Other, but I'm saying like the offer to the comic. Like we used to be like, they'll be like, you'll come here Wednesday, Thursday morning, you'll do press.
You do Friday, Saturday.

They're like, oh, like I talked to my friends who are like, they just started working funny bones and stuff. And they're like, yeah, my offers are Friday, Saturday.

That's it. That's great.

So they're condensing the week, too. Well, what are they doing the rest of the week? Just doing

local people? Yeah, maybe they're doing, figuring out something to do in the, in the. I think they're doing like quiz nights.
Quiz night bingo shit. I don't know.

I think they might be renting it out for other things. I think any couple do like church on Sundays.
There's some of them. Like church Sundays.
I kind of understand this too.

Especially like when you're when you're not

like cleaning out places, but like when you're start when your shit is starting to sell and like they go, hey, for the week,

for Wednesday through Sunday,

you know, you sold 600 tickets here. It's like, dude, can we do less shows then? You know what I mean? Like, not pay the staff and the lights.

Yeah, I mean, as the act, you're just like, great, why don't we try to get like 400 of them to come Friday, Saturday? That's pretty good.

Two nights or whatever. I don't know.

That old model, I think, did need some

tweaking, too. Yeah, for sure.

So I did want to ask you a couple things now that I'm here. And I have to,

and

I would assume this is planned. Yeah.

You do a really great job

on keeping your kids off social media. Yeah.
And is that something that you do is for sure?

Because I've never,

seen your kids in person at the Palisades, but I go on your Instagram, I go, wow, their kids are completely

ghosted. Is that something that you decided before you even had them? Here's the thing.
Yes.

I realized early on, I think that I was like, you know, this lane of stand-up we're in is also like, because there's lanes within comedy. You know what I mean? Where like there's

clean acts, there's family acts, there's, you know, there's, there's just like different stuff. And I realize, like, we embrace chaos

on this podcast. Like, this podcast.
We haven't even gotten to it yet.

I know, but it's fucking mayhem, dude. Well, I saw.
Yeah.

This. Funkle?

Well, the with the bathtub. I mean,

right.

But like, it fuels this whole thing of like.

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Of like there's weird shit out there and we're we are finding out what's weird and then the comments are a mix of very funny like there's very funny comments there's crazy shit and it just gave me a peek into this side of humanity where I was like this is chaotic and and you know it's not it's not a fucking main street where you go like everything's great here yeah so I was like I don't want to I don't think I should be like here's my kids to that I thought that before even having kids and they don't see us on YouTube they don't see anything really that's great so so so you're saying that there's like an underbelly of society here that you're

that you're tapping into? I believe so. I would prefer to say highlighting, showcasing the marginalized communities

on the internet, yeah, okay, people that you don't get a voice, Sebastian. That's how we see it.

So,

these gentlemen, so and again, fascinating how this all so is this something that just developed organically, or did you guys go, we're gonna

do this? No, it's it's Sebastian.

it's our shared sensibility.

I will say

we both laughed at the worst part of Grizzly Man, that documentary.

I don't know if you remember it, about Timothy Treadwell, this maniac that would go live on a bear reservation thinking that he was protecting bears. You saw that doc? I didn't see that.

It's old as shit. It's unbelievable.
This is one of the first dates.

Yeah, Vernon Herzog. Tom, this is 2005.
We're on a date. We go see Grizzly Man.
And then we're in the theater.

And Werner Herzog is a legendary filmmaker, and he's making making a very compassionate movie about this lost soul timothy treble is a lost soul

who goes to the to alaska and and lives with bears and documents it and then during the documentary at one point they find a pilot who had taken him from where civilization is to drop him off where bears are something that nobody does so he goes yeah you know

uh this guy comes up to me and he's asking me to drop him in bear country. I thought he was retarded, you know? And we laughed so hard

in the theater.

And you could see people being like,

this isn't funny.

And that's when we felt like, oh, there's a real bond here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that is the start of our shared sense of everything chaotic and weird.

We don't say nothing about no fucking nothing.

we really enjoy these things in private life and then we decided to start talking about it on a podcast that's true that's true

that we love i don't know it's like it's what i find funny in things like you know like little moments like on the fun uncle on the funkle clip this little beat at the end i could study yeah for fucking six days i could watch the clip over and over because there's so many like uh micro movements micro emotions in it and that's what like what always makes me laugh about these clips is like the nuance of it.

Yeah. Yeah.
It's, it really. Which is interesting with you, Sebastian, because I feel like you're an upholder of the opposite of like, what the fuck is wrong with everybody?

Why can't people just fucking be normal? Yeah, so yeah, that's kind of where my mind sets. Be normal.

Yeah.

You're kind of in your hell garden right now. Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm coming from like the manners.
Like what does anybody have like manners or like are we all kind of just is

society falling apart at the at the seams yeah so my my

it's a disdain and disgust for yes behavior that seems to be

it's a great lane too it really it really is a great lane i know i identify with it to a great degree i oddly enough in stand-up i i've always adhered to like

towing that line as well like I've always called out, like, are you seeing this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, are you seeing this fucking nonsense? But I feel like it's definitely been branded.

It's like it's a Sebastian brand is essentially like, what the fuck's going on here? Yeah. It's like, you know what I mean? Like, it's a great comedic lane.

Did you grow up proper? I want to say proper. I just grew up with like very, like, you're not wearing that.
We're going here. It's old school values in a way, right? It's like it's traditional values.

Traditional values. And you say, you know, we were talking about drugs and whatnot.
My family didn't do any pot or

hallucinogenics growing up. It was my dad was a hairstylist.
My mother was a secretary. And there was like...

Did your father...

I never asked you this. Did he himself immigrate or did his parents immigrate? He did.
As a child?

Or as an adult? At 15, he came here. Oh, so like.
So he was.

you know he spent 15 years in sicily and growing up that way brought some of those you know techniques here to the united states to teach his kids and my mother very you know like sweet and nice and so we all have immigrant parents it's a there is a shared experience in that and having immigrant parents i think so i mean i think they they bring a whole different

set of rules that maybe you don't see in other parents that were maybe raised here. And my mom is big, big time with like

you have to be kidding that you're wearing that or you're big time. Like, are you out of your mind? Which is like, it's like a consistent theme for sure.
Well, you could do two things.

You could adhere to that, right? Yeah. Or you could rebel against it.
Totally.

Did you listen? Yeah. Or were you going, oh, I'm going to go and do my own.
I'm wearing my own. I was a goth, so maybe

you rebelled. Big time you rebelled.
But then now as an adult, I go to like the courthouse and you're like, who the fuck is wearing flip-flops and shorts to court?

Are you out of your mind? And now on airplanes, pajama bottoms, house slippers in the airport.

Like now I'm becoming my parents with that stuff. Yeah.
I mean, like total Euro. I think what I did was I learned exactly what to do.
And like, I understand it completely.

And then I know how to specifically upset my mother, which for 45 years has given me a thrill. You know what I mean?

So I love to like, I know not to belch at the table, but I do it because I know how much it's going to upset her. You know, things like that.
Yeah.

Or I, I just described to her my series that I'm shooting next month and like the stories in it. It's like all these like,

you know, like old Twilight Zone. stories.
And each one of them, she was like, she goes, I will never leave my house if you make this. You have to use a different name.
I go, different name?

She's like, people can't know this is you. She's like, you are just, why don't you just make pornography?

Like, you know, I just know that it'll upset her, but I love upsetting her. I don't know.
It's just like a trigger for me. He hates his mom.

It's okay. We all do.
If you're a comic. No, I think you mean everyone hates my mom.
Oh, yeah. Specifically.
Yeah. Your mom.
Yeah.

All right. So is your, wait, is your mom immigrant or she was no, no, she was born here.

My father was born in Sicily and they met in Chicago. And yeah, they've been really, I mean, they've been really supportive of

what I do. No, I've seen, like, it's actually a very endearing thing.
The element of like not know, I don't think I've ever met.

I'm trying to think if I've been somewhere and your dad's been there too, maybe briefly or something. But

the idea of like how much you bring them into things. It's very endearing.
Yeah.

They're involved.

They're there. And your sister, too, I want to say I've seen her in a bunch of things.

Yeah. I mean, sister's got three kids, so it's hard for her to go see shows, but she'll be in Chicago with me, with her family.

It's nice to have the family, especially the kids, now kind of getting to know what I do, coming to the shows.

It's just, it's just such a different upbringing than I had. Yeah.

And

like we were just at the Madison Square Garden, they're running around the garden up.

up top in the in the balcony right and i sit there looking at that going i was i was in my yard digging holes, playing worms. You know, that was like my

stories, too. Yeah.
When they're older. Yeah.
It's it's really it's really cool to kind of have them witness it and them sharing all the excitement of it all.

So yeah, it's been really, really good for us because, you know, as you all know, you go on the road, right? You got kids at home. You know,

before you know it, they're 18, 19, 20 years old. So I'm very, very conscious now of like, I don't want to miss a lot.
You know, I don't want to be in Montana while my daughter's at a gymnastic meet.

So, but before you know it, you know, you keep telling yourself you're going to slow down because I don't know how you guys operate.

I don't know what you mean.

This is the shit that I say to you all the time, motherfucker. I know.
Literally, I'm like, it just,

yeah. So wait, how do you deal with it? You're going to die.
You're going to die. They're just going to die.
They're going to die. They're grow going to up.

They're going to grow up. And then

what?

You're famous. Big fucking deal.
Nobody remembers you in five years anyway.

Do you remember Don Rickles? Anybody in the booth? Phyllis Stiller? Any of those names? No. Rodney Dangerfield? None.
Okay.

Go ahead.

You were saying?

Sorry, I didn't mean to touch on such a sensitive topic. No, it's fine.
No, but listen.

Because I go, okay,

this is very fleeting, this business, right? Totally. I look at it very negatively.
I'm not Mr. Positivity when it comes to like, it's always going to be there.

I look at it like next year,

it's it. It's over.
Another guy is going to come in or whatever. So I look at it as like, let me get it now, right? Before it's over.

But then you keep saying that every year. And next thing you know, the kids are 21.
You're like, what the fuck was I doing?

So what I have done is i'm like you know what let me let me pull back here a little bit because what are we gonna

i don't gotta have i don't gotta do everything right it's up to me i was just i just like i just like doing stand-up yeah but sometimes you get pressured and go you got a podcast No, you got to get a podcast.

Yeah. And I was like, we're going to go get a podcast.
They're like, you need to do a two-year TV show, broader audience, this and that and the other thing.

So I find myself sometimes doing things, not necessarily out of the love of doing it,

but for to feed

the animal, to feed the stand-up. So, at the end of the day, it's like, you know,

how much stuff you're going to do? It's the exact conversation,

exactly the same. And then you go, you know what, I want to do? I want to quit things.
Like, you just want to quit. You just want to go, I want to stop doing that and just do this.
Yeah.

And, and then you have to decide how you, how you're going to manage that. You got it, but you have to say no to things.
Yeah. It's a hard thing to learn.

So you two, for you, is your passion the stand-up? Is it this?

I have a lot of fun doing this. There's nothing more fun than stand-up.
I think we both feel like there's nothing more fun. It is the absolute best in the world.
Traveling to do it

is the worst vile part of it. And I unfortunately can't really do it.
I mean, I'm almost 50 now and my body can't handle it. I'm over it.
I got two kids. So

my absolute favorite but this is the second. I learned to pare down the tour.

Like I did the last tour and I learned that like that's an insane non-sustainable and also not fun, non-beneficial way of doing it.

Like this weekend, I go out, I do three shows. I come right home.
I'm home for a few weeks. The next time I go out, it's two shows.

Like that's that makes it so that also that when is it, first of all, I'm enjoying life at home, spending more time with my family, but also the actual stand-up becomes more fun.

It doesn't become like, oh, I got to do fucking nine shows this week, and then I got to do it again. And

that's not fun. I don't have it, I don't enjoy that.
I wish we could do stand-up at like 3 p.m.

Yeah, that is funny. Why can't we?

That's our age showing the most because she'll come, she'll be like, Got great news. I go, What? She goes, I just booked a 5 p.m.
show in like fucking Tampa. And I'm like, Yeah, why not? Good.

Why not? Sunday at 5. Yeah.
That's what what's his name's doing?

Bergatzi. Yes.
Great. He does like matinees.
Yeah, he does daytime shows. I know.

5 p.m. This guy's doing the show during the daylight, which is, which is, I'm like, you could do that?

I just thought, I thought, I don't know. I thought comedy was directly associated with nighttime.

Not in the middle. It's the best lead.

And also,

I don't know. I am not built long-term.
I have a few, but doing doubles, I'm like, I don't want to do doubles. The doubles are done.
Doubles are done. Doubles are done.
That's a nightmare.

That kills you. Yeah, it definitely kills you.
Do you guys, when you're doing stand-up for multiple shows, multiple runs, if you have to do five in a week or what have you, is the act the same from

soup to nuts as far as the order is concerned? Do you ever get to a bit and go, oh, God,

I got to do this again? Dude, in this current hour, in the, let's say I've been touring it for nine months or something,

I've had, and this is, I think this is the only time it's been this dramatic. I've had the last, the closing 15, become the opening 15, become the middle 15, become the third quarter 15.

Like, I've shifted it that many times,

some out of boredom, some out of excitement, and then some out of like, oh, I think I'm figuring out what to do.

And it's the only thing that ever cures that

is either a new order or a new bit.

What do you do? Do you do the same?

I switch it up, just the order, like he's saying, just like, okay, let's try this in the beginning.

Because there's some bits that

are my favorites that are in the middle. And I feel after I get to those, I feel like...

It's like a letdown. It's like, oh, you have to trudge to the next.
Yeah, this is not going to be as funny as what I just said.

Because ultimately, I feel like an hour, you want an hour to go like this, like this, like this, like this, and then like that. Like, you want it to end like that.

And sometimes you go like this, and then you end straight. Like, it's still good, but you're like, no, it doesn't have this.
Yeah, it doesn't have this. And you feel like you need that.
Yeah.

Because that's what everyone's last thought is. What did he do at the end? Yeah.

Also, though, I feel like you got to come out in the beginning and hit him in the mouth. Yeah, because they're sitting there going, all right, what do you got now?

So you got to come out there and kind of blast them with some juice right up. Just a big shot at the garden.
Let's see.

Yeah.

How about this guy? You ever seen something like this?

What is it? He's trying to rub the fat out of his ear. I think he's got like a tumor in his face.

That's not how you do it.

Dude, that's cancer. You can't rub cancer out.
You can rub it out if you do it hard enough.

He's in a lot of pain. That looks like it hurts so fast.

His whole body is.

You got to give it to them, though. They really don't fuck around in Asia.
They just, they're like, just deal with it, dude. Stop the crying.

This is like Kyrgyzstan. So, here's an example of.

So this video. Yeah.

Did you see the video? Like, I feel like I've seen this shit. I feel like I've seen this one.
Yeah.

This is on your feed? Yeah. My algorithm.
My feed don't look like that.

So here's the thing. Yours is probably just like, oh, here's a car.

Right? Or like

six places to go see in Italy while you're on vacation.

I'm not getting Asian rubouts. Oh, yeah.
I know.

I get a lot of fucking niggas.

Even this is the beginning.

Oh,

fuck. Come on.
That's just hate.

What's he do?

I don't even understand.

He's like, you're good.

I don't like that. Okay.

So

give me like the behind the scenes on this. So you posted, have you ever posted a video like this? Sure.
Right. Yeah.
And the people in the video see it on your show

and call and text or whatever.

Sometimes sometimes they go thanks for highlighting me or or like

I would like to come on now can I can you please book me and sometimes they go you didn't ask for permission you get every type of answer and you're not you're not phased by any of the any of it coming in and nothing doesn't even it's been so long no it's 14 we've been doing this for so long

they know we know we're doing no

if I could just comment

which I've never seen this before this is a kind of like a little behind-the-scenes info for your fans, and I don't know if anybody's ever brought it up.

But prior to coming in here, I used your restroom,

and I don't know whose idea was this, but

there is stental floss in there, Q-tips,

chapsticks,

eye drops, and something that I actually brought in here. I had a take, which I've never seen this before.

And I'm really into hospitality, and I'm really into um

little touches yeah

got your own mints yeah

this is beautiful you like that yeah i i i i i saw that and i the first thing i said is wow they're doing well

and then uh i tried one yeah just to see what the quality was and i gotta tell you delicious wow

i don't even know where you go and get this yeah

There was a meeting. Someone had to have a meeting.

And someone said, we should have our own mints.

That's true. That's true.
Who decided this? That's a great question. Oh, God.

It was straight from the top. It was Ryan.
Ryan's like when he's minting. He's got a classic.

Ryan gets it. Yeah.

But do you see how special it was for you? We wanted you, Sebastian Maniscalco, who flew all the way from LA to Austin to feel special. Well, I do.
And I hope you do. I do.

I mean, it's really nice what you got set up here. You got the mural out there.
You got...

You got our own mints. You got your own mints.
You got this, which I keep seeing at every pod. We have a podcast, and Liquid Death hasn't contacted us at all.

I want to show you this one right before we go. I'm going to show you your special thing.
This is a, I remember seeing this one that I really enjoyed too.

You're going to shoot me?

This guy's doing finger fingers. You're going to shoot me, mate.
Okay. Are you actually going to shoot me?

Yeah, but you're gonna shoot me.

He said he was doing trigger fingers like he's a gangster. Have I got a gun? But why are you touching my don't fucking come there? Don't come here, you dickhead.

Bruv,

listen. Sorry, look, I'm not a bully, right? But I'm like three times the size of you.

Yeah, but don't fucking touch my car. Hit my car, bruv.
Don't do that.

Okay, hold on. So this guy...

What appears is the guy's in his car, and this guy's being an asshole for whatever reason, the guy outside of the car. Don't do that, because this car is worth it.

Now he's he's like sitting on his car, touching the car. I spent a lot of money in his car, man.
Don't do that.

Don't do that. You've got no money.
I've got, okay. I'm going to do this, right?

I'm going to do this.

I've taken a picture. I'm going to take your glasses, Mal.
Oh. And now, here's your daughter

that you damage in my crop. Look at this guy.
How's that? How's that? How's that? How's that? Yeah.

That's the look of defeated. You know, you're like, oh, yeah, I fucked up.
Well, you know what a pain in the ass it is to get new fucking stuff. Oh, yeah, he just ruined.

And that guy's also processing.

I definitely, those are not redeemable. Like, those are completely crushed.
And also, I did this. Like,

nothing,

this was totally avoidable. I would have glasses right now if I hadn't fucked with this guy.
It's just a good don't start shit listening. And McCrox.
He points it out, too. He's like,

it was McCrox. All right, are you ready? This is the best part for me of the show.

Be clear for her. I love this.
I curate TikToks. This is for my algorithm.
Like I said earlier, I like to highlight people that don't have a voice or the marginalized communities.

So, what, by the way, is there what's like the darkness of a Sebastian? You know what I mean? Like, what, what,

what is it? There's got to be something in there that is like

somewhat dark, right? Like, our feed shows us our own darkness.

I mean,

I like watching

people fight in.

Yeah. Really? That's

good for you. Some of my feed.
Yeah. So, like, I was hoping that this guy would have went into a rage.
Yeah. And you would have seen like a croc fly off the camera

and beat the shit out of that guy. Okay.
So I guess if

I I like that when it comes to

entertainment, like how it all goes down. I don't know if that's dark.
It's just

you like fighting and aggression.

I'm not aggressive at all,

but I do like when other people kind of go toe-to-toe. Yeah.
Yeah. I like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who doesn't? Okay. That's fun.

Here's Christina's curations.

I thought you, this one's for you to talk.

All the cupping. Look at all the cupping.

Breathing. He's already in pain right now.

I like when they really, when they really

came around,

when the mallet comes dropping.

Is that, are you guys into all this? Like, do you do cupping and ice? Are you in an ice bath? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

And, like, give me the vibe. Like, when you go in.
Sucks. And, yeah, and then you come out.

You feel great. Do you, yeah.
I get it. But like,

generally speaking, throughout the day,

if you didn't do the ice,

would you go, oh fuck, I'm off, bro. I didn't do my ice today.
Actually, kind of.

I wouldn't say it's so dramatic where it's like black and white, but like I remember when I came in here, like if I don't know, was it last week? Yeah. And I came right from it.

These guys were like, damn, you're in a good mood. And I was like, straight out of the bath, baby.
Like, I was just firing on all cylinders. I was feeling good about it.
Yeah.

and then he brags about it. He likes he has to tell me that he did the bath.
Why? Because I know that she tell her you did the bath and how long you did it for? Well, it's always the same.

He would have me time him sometimes. Yeah, she doesn't really do that either.

She'll be like, it's cold outside. I'm like, you're not even getting in the water.
What's the temp? Right now it's at 45. 45.
But

I don't know. I've gone down to 40

and I've gone up to 50.

I don't know. I think right in the middle works for me.
45 is good. It's good.
What do you think about it? Have you tried it? You're going to do it?

I got one.

That's been there for a year. I was diligent with it for a little bit, but then.
Did you like how you felt after? I did.

There is a sense of euphoria when you get out of it. There is.

I'm just, I was doing it more for, like, does it heal inflammation? Oh, yeah. Interesting.

So from what I understand, and I don't know. It helps with it.

I don't do a lot of research. Yeah.
Do you guys do a lot of research on stuff?

Somebody just says something once. Yeah, that's probably

I just do what Joe Rogan tells me. Yeah, I'm Joe, and you're like, all right,

Dr. Huberman.
Got it.

So we just got word that Tanner is the one who deserves credit for the custom mints. Tanner bananas? This is blowing my mind.

Good for you.

Yeah, solid move. Basically, no.
My phone's been blowing up since I said it was Ryan. They're like, no, it was Tanner.
Don't fucking take that from him.

Please take that credit away from Ryan and give it to Tanner. This is how I travel as a COVID-conscious person.

First, I use Covixel nasal spray before going to the airport and I mask in the Uber, of course, and I always mask in the airport.

When I get on the plane, I wipe down as much as I can with Clorox wipes and I use my pure enrichment air purifier for the plane.

I wait a little bit to eat after everyone else gets their snacks and I plan to do as much of my activities outside as possible. When I get home, I wear a mask and test a few days in a row.

And that is that.

First of all, nothing, if you did a version of this video, I don't think anything could ever perform better.

There's Nothing would ever get more views than if you did a direct duplication of this video.

Oh, wow. I mean, do people do this? It's fascinating what people are doing online.
Are they doing this to actually be helpful? Are they doing this to

be quote-unquote famous? What is the...

Like, if I had a routine like this, you would never know about it. Right.
Right? I would never go and share it with anybody, right? Right. The mindset here is it.

I mean, I think part of that is you get your attention in other ways. You have a talent and you get to do it.
And like, you get your fill from that.

Somebody else, like this person, doesn't have that outlet. There's no, so it's like, this is how they.

That's the way it's supposed to be. Of course.
The talent, you get the attention.

But when you don't have it, you don't get to get it. Yeah.
You don't say it.

But now you're like,

but she's like, yeah, but I want it. So I'll do this.
I'll do this montage of how I, how I travel as a COVID-conscious person. With the end of the day.

And I like that I get home and I test several times for a few days. And her nose was so red.

Fucking idiot. And also I hate it so much.
You know what she's looking for here is somebody go, thanks for doing that. Thanks for the tutorial on how to live this life.

I wear a mask, so you wear a mask.

I'm protecting you. Why aren't you protecting me?

I saw this old broad say that to this guy in Brentwood when I was like during the COVID heyday.

She came on, she had like a fucking, like, she was a welder, like a fucking mask around, wrapped around the head. And this guy was like walking up.
She goes, I'm protecting you.

Why aren't you protecting me? He's like, I'm fucking outside. I'm about to walk in.

You old bitch.

Hysteria.

Yeah, sorry.

Sarah.

So I'm sure

some uh the favorite thing you do is just uh

sometimes you when

it's done washing basically uh when a when a dog eats a snake

It's like you know cooking brio on a on the floor

butter

you just gotta make sh you just gotta make sure uh wash it off the roof and put it in your laundry basket. That's the end of the video.

So now I'm understanding

why the kids are not on any of your social media. Right?

I would be even afraid to put this thing up.

This guy's out there. He's out there.
Yeah. You know, you don't really see

the tats on on the freckled people that much. That's one of the things that stood out to me: how many freckles he has.

And then you go, you don't really see somebody really tatted up who's got a lot of prevalent freckles. This is so true, Tom.

And you know what we found, too, is there's a direct correlation, Sebastian, between

facial tattoos and crystal meth use. Really? It's a direct

to getting facial tattoos. Although I'm sensing some fentanyl here, I don't think it's just meth.
Oh, interesting. Because he's a little too.

Like most meth people would be like, you got to fucking throw it in the laundry. That's man.

And to answer your question, like, are we afraid we'll put this up? The guy might...

They don't live long enough to come after you.

All these guys on the walls.

They're not really around anymore except for that fat red-haired one. Oh, my God.
What? He's around.

He's around. That's it.
Everyone else is going to be.

Oh, Tommy John's it. Yeah, he's around too.
Oh, yeah. RPC.
Yeah. Well, the rest.

Jesus.

To describe Jesus' horse,

he's extremely tall, very well-muscled. This horse's personality is often very serious, which is a foil to Jesus's personality, which is often laughing.
Not always.

Jesus knows when to be serious, when to carry out missions, and when to work, essentially. But Jesus is often really

loving life joyful and his horse is pretty much always serious and a few weeks ago I got to visit with both of them and Jesus was with his horse and I got to ride with Jesus on this horse in the spirit these are experiences I'm having spiritually

and saw the horse turn around okay so I think we get it

well have you ever thought about the qualities of Jesus' horse what the personality might be serious doesn't it isn't it kind of interesting that you go like oh yeah yeah all these people are out there like the face tat guy jesus's horse lady like they're all out there this is all in our there this is person this lady could be next to you at starbucks yeah like yeah no they're they're out there they're they're living and uh

and you are showcasing them all right

behind me is the royal procession king richard himself and his queen are walking by yes every sauce and they walk through the the the the fairgrounds just to greet the populace, you know.

And of course, I mean, this is just a restaurant fair. He's our real king, but we still pay deference to him.
We spit his part.

Since we are getting into character for a medieval restaurant fair, we do. I think I've seen him in the belly room, this guy.

I'm going to throw up.

The ding-dong show? Ding-dong. Ding-dong show, yeah.

Do you realize, too, like, I was talking to Kirk Fox about this, like, how on a lot of nights you're at the comedy store and you're standing in the hallway, and you, you know, you see, maybe you see like somebody you know or a fan walks by, and then you see some of the other comics and you're like, oh, this is a fucking mental asylum.

Like, there's so many lunatics in this. Like, this guy would fit right in if he was like, oh, I'm doing a spot.
You'd be like, oh, yeah, sure. I was fucking the king's lair today.

You would think that he's like,

he'd fit right into our world.

Oh, that's why I love him. Like, this is a peer of mine.
Yeah.

What do you think? Yeah, no. Well, it's like we go to work, right? And these are our coworkers.
Yeah, totally.

Totally. Hold on, Smashin.
Have you come across the Disney adult phenomenon? Oh, where

adult people go to Disneyland?

Do you not have

any comments on this? Because it feels like you should. I know.

Well, they make the shirts. Rope droppers.
Rope droppers? What is it? Rope one? Rope droppers? What's a rope dropper? A rope dropper is somebody. Because what's the other one? A parker closer closer.

So a rope dropper is the person who waits until they open the park. In other words,

so they're there at like five in the morning, and they're like just waiting until they go, now it's open.

And then the park closer is the person who goes until they're like, you got to get the fuck out of here. It's midnight.
You got to go home. Yeah.
So there's

there's, you know, both sides of it. Both sides.

Is the same person? Could they be two?

Usually not. They're usually pretty separate.
The grips in the bloods, you know?

They're totally different. It identifies you as a morning person or an evening person, basically.

What are you? Are you a park closer or a rope dropper?

If I had to choose,

I'd be a park closer. Wow.
But as a dad, as a dad,

we come at 10. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

And we leave at 10.50. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.

I don't know if you want to. You guys good?

The crazy thing was last time we went, we took, we're like, all right, we make this big trip, go to Disneyland, literally there, like at 10,

you know, walking around, paid for the extra privilege of things, and then

first thing we get on, and then my kid's like, can we go? I'm like, can we go? He's like, yeah, I go, we fucking flew out here to do this. He's like, all right.

Just couldn't be less fucking amused by any of them. Well, listen,

I remember going to Epcot Center. They took me to Epcot when I was 10.
And they were so excited, my parents.

Like, hey, we're going to Italy, and then we're going to Spain, this and that, and the other thing. I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, it's boring.

I didn't want to be there. It's my dream.
It was my dream, not Ellis.

Now, I may ask you this. This is a Renaissance fair.
Would you rather be a Renaissance fair adult like this gentleman or a Disney adult?

I never liked the Renaissance Fair. Disgusting.
Never liked it. I'm with you.
It's just a weird vibe. I'd rather have a year pass to Disneyland than go to fucking Renaissance Fair for an afternoon.

For sure. There's pavement at Disneyland.
You're just walking on filthy dirt. I don't know how they go to the bathroom.

Also, the fact that everybody who's really into this is so into the roleplay aspect. So into it.
Like you meet these psychos who are like

really into characters at Disney, but there's also just people like, oh, this is a fun environment.

But these guys are seriously like, Milady? Yeah.

Do you do you have the right instrument to

open this door with? Like,

they're too involved. They're too psychotic.
It makes me nervous. And they're like, did you get your turkey leg? Like, they like to eat the big leg.
It's too confusing.

What's this?

What is it? What was that? I don't know.

Ask her.

It's just a cool video. I don't know.
It's a guy on TikTok. Yeah, but where is he? Is there his house? He's got VHS tapes and he's got a Tigger the Tiger.

He's got some dolls and poor lighting and poor framing. He's perfect for the show.

Thank you, Christina. That one was seriously disturbing.

In America.

You can catch Sebastian on the It Ain't Right tour now.

Check him out.

Oh, it's season two of Bookie this December. Did you like that song?

See, this is. We grew up, we had home videos, right? Right.
You did home videos and nobody saw them. Those stay at home.
I know. That's true.
That's a great point. No,

home videos make it on your show.

It's amazing. You know, my favorite is there's a whole lane.
We have a literal library of guys, usually guys,

who turn the recording on and they just kind of

look in the lens

and then they upload that. They just upload

it. They don't know that they're recording.
And then they just see share and they're like, share. And they just post it.
And it's just them staring at the lens. There's thousands of them.
Wow.

Yeah, this is a whole other world, bro.

Yeah.

It's a shame.

You want to see me naked, man? All you got to ask, man. I'm here, man.
All you have to do is ask, man. I'm ready.
But say, I'm the eternal stud, guys.

Just ask me, man. Yeah, just ask me, yeah.
I'm the eternal stud.

Just ask me. You want to see no clothes? Anytime, anywhere, you know where to come.
That's right. Either come and that's right.
And we don't forget now.

Do you like the hot dogs in the bun? Or do you like it straight up? That's right. So we don't see me.

I've been in a hotel room with him. Isn't that crazy? You have? Yeah.

Yeah.

What?

He was on the show. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. He's been on the show.
Yeah, right there. So, so what's uh

what's the vibe here? What does this guy work?

Oh, Blaine. Should we show him what the vibe is? I don't know if

he can work.

This is how we discovered him. Black guys who love the fucking fuck good.

You're a hot black guy. You want to fuck me at $23.95.
If you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me.

I need to be fucked a lot, man. Get rid of free food, free rent, and everything else.
Man, here's a deal, man.

Men from jail, homeless, or you're a thug, you want to come move in? Your friend can move in with you too, man. Free rent, you can lease in a a key.
Fuck me. Piss on me.
Beat me. I'm homie now.

You see me? Want to come over today and try it out? Try it out, man. Yeah, that's how we found him.

And then he's just been, like, you know, doing stuff since.

Yeah, total pig office comes up is officer comes up, like, wild, dirty, and filthy.

He's been posting videos for a long time. Guys, guys in the booth, how do you feel about

this guy?

We knew what we signed up for. Yeah, I know, but like inviting him, like, were you there in the hotel room? When, like, was there a security there? Did we have security? I was not there.

We weren't there.

You got Minch, though. No security?

We think he's relatively harmless.

Looking back,

he's not, though. He's harmless.
We've had multiple run-ins with him. He's

somebody kid.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm going to come now.
I'm going to come now. I'm coming.
Oh, come on.

What the fuck are we watching?

This is YouTube. It's on his YouTube.

This is on YouTube. This is on YouTube, yeah.

They don't take this down.

That's so sweet. So.

Fuck, bro.

I think I want Sebastian on every show.

Your disgust makes me so happy.

This makes me so fun.

I'm stunned. I am fucking stunned that this is going on.

You want to give him a call?

He has a multiple names.

Welcome to Lucifer's Light. I'm your host, RPC band, and we are here at 2395 Wagner House, apartment 2C Building AT 124th Amber Avenue, east side of Harlem.
That's right, guys. You hear me right loud.

I am here at 917-353-2913

or 347-2813156 or 646-241-8615 or 646

917-353-917-353. Okay, so there's multiple numbers.
You can always reach out.

Tommy, remember when he would upload his videos and the title would be like X John. It would be like

web code. Yeah.
It was an awesome time. I remember that.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow, so much. It does nothing for you, huh?

Tickle your funny bones.

I see where you could find this entertaining.

I see it. Yeah.
But I look at it and

I don't feel

good. Yeah.

I understand that.

This is eye-opening. Yeah.
This is eye-opening. You could be adding all this cool stuff to your show.

Oh, my God. So what do you and Pete Corielli talk about then?

We just talk about like our personal and professional lives, just kind of two buddies talking about. Oh, get all

it's just a sound effect. Oh, okay.
Oh, I thought he called in.

Yeah, I'm going to come.

Oh,

that was rough every time. Oh, I found this very entertaining.
It was very entertaining. Now, we love Sebastian.

If you haven't yet,

you got to see Sebastian live. He is really one of the best in the game.
And check him out in season two of Bookie this December. Thanks for coming in, man.
Thanks for watching.

Nice to see you.

black guys and lumps of fun to fuck good.

Oh man, black guys and lumps of fun to fuck this on.

He beat me white guys and lumps of fun to fuck this on.

White guys and lumps of fun to fuck this on.

He be

black guys and lumps of fun to fuck good.

Oh man.

If you're a hot black guy and you wanna fuck me twenty three.

White guys and lumps of fuck

design.

If you wanna move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me.

If you wanna move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me.

I need to be fucked a lot, a lot, lot, but

If you wanna prove in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me.

If you wanna prove in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me.

Get up, free food, free range, and everything else, man.

Men from jail, homeless.

Never thought I thought I'd love to fucking fuck this up.

Black guys love

Hey, you just watched an episode of your mom's house. I hope you enjoyed it.
And if not, watch another one. Maybe you'll like that one.
They're everywhere. Look, I don't know.

You place them in like cubes or squares or whatever this is. Just click another one.
Maybe you'll find one you like. Or someone will get hurt and everybody likes that.

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