The King Of Stink | Your Mom's House Ep. 830
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Tom Segura and Christina P are back in Studio Jeans serving up another chaotic episode of Your Mom’s House! Christina unveils her new “witchy” fall lipstick drop while Tom recalls getting mauled by a pro fighter. The gang debates who smells worse—Eastern Europeans or Americans under 25—before diving into wild clips featuring Frankie Fart Eyes, fart orgy requests, and some of the worst porn acting you’ve ever seen. Plus: Tom tells stories of hanging out ringside with BTBs like Mike Tyson and Marshawn Lynch, and Christina defends her controversial stance on “napkin pants.” It’s foul, it’s funny, it’s YMH and it's stinky!
Your Mom’s House Ep. 830
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Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:04:16 - Opening Clip: Fart Eyes
00:12:33 - BTB Type Shit
00:20:14 - Fartmacy
00:28:06 - Smelly M-Fers
00:33:21 - The Worst Smelling Countries List
00:46:56 - Napkin Pants
00:49:25 - Gay Stuff For Enny
00:57:32 - Clip: Fart Drive-Thru
00:58:31 - Clip: WHAT
01:01:10 - Art Update
01:02:30 - Closing Song -"*ss Liquor" by R PATTZ
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Transcript
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Well, welcome.
Welcome to your mom's house.
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I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Wow, it's been a long time.
I hate it.
I don't like it.
Let's go.
In five, four, three, two.
Where's your fucking expression?
Tugagalogagoga.
I've got putang anamo is your mother's a whore.
Yeah, that's rad.
I was going for the good morning.
No.
Ugandang umaga.
There you go.
There you go.
All right.
They're just telling me how poor it is in the Philippines.
Yeah, I know.
We had all these J's talking, and now we got, you know, this lady.
It's like, fucking say something, say something cool and different.
I know.
What's that mean?
Your shirt's pressed?
What else are you going to say?
All right.
An Olympia is hot.
I have some karekare for you too, Easter.
So ridiculous.
What?
Welcome to the show.
What's everybody?
What's everybody?
Can I?
Yeah, I love you.
I'm going to miss you.
I don't want you to go.
No, I'll be back in a couple days.
I know.
Yeah.
But do you realize today is the last day of no, this is October 1st.
This is the best day of the best month
of the year.
This is your all-time favorite.
This is the best time.
You might notice.
I met you.
You were like,
Halloween is here.
Oh, it's witchy as shit.
It's witchy.
Yeah.
May I make my announcement then?
Please.
I'm so fucking pumped.
I've been working for months to develop this.
It's finally happening
i'm wearing it right now this is a liquid lipstick liquid lipstick it is called nocturne
it's got fall vibes and um it stays on forever this formula
my new formula it's liquid yeah
you can wear it forever and ever and ever i i'm absolutely obsessed and then i made a gloss with just a little bit of shimmer i just a little bit not a lot and it's called whimsy kiss gloss and the color for fall vibes wow is called just like honey and it's like a nice honey wheat color and then are you ready for this yeah velvet crush blush it's a blush tom you're not even excited look at me it's a blush you open it up and it you it feels like velvet and your skin activates it it warms up and you put it on and it's so soft and creamy and it stays on that's exciting actually two new colors for everyone Winona and Romeo's Mistress.
I'm also
if you're a dude trying to get some fucking strange, trying to get your tip licked,
you know, buy ladies little gifts like that.
They love it.
Yeah.
ChristinaP.com, check out my new stuff.
It is, I'll tell you why I do this, Tom, Tim, is that the quality of American makeup is not always there.
It's not always there.
I have it made in Italy in an Atelier, and I hand, I wear these products for months and months.
I hand select them.
They're special.
Everyone is special to me because I wear them.
Trot out, ChristinaP.com.
Ladies, you know what to do.
Guys, I'm telling you, if you're trying to get some ink on your pen,
get your lady a nice little gift to get her some blush or lipstick.
Do you have an eyeliner too?
Nope.
Nope.
Is that coming?
Maybe.
We'll see.
Eyeshadow.
I just do what I like.
I do what I
enjoy.
I do what I want.
I do what I use.
I don't like that.
I don't like it.
But that's what I like.
Babe.
I like that.
All right.
You know what to do.
Get yourself some new lipstick.
And
this is the fall drop.
There's going to be a winner when it's going to blow your fucking minds, too.
But get it now.
Pre-order it.
Sorry, I should mention that.
If you pre-order it now, it'll be sent to you in two weeks.
Let me give you the opener of the show.
The thing about fighting me is that you're not going to beat my ass.
You're not going to beat my ass.
You're not going to beat.
I'm going to beat your pussy.
You're gonna beat this pussy.
I'm gonna beat your pussy ass up.
I got something to say about that.
He's retarded.
Welcome to your mom's house.
Christina Peshitzi.
Welcome to your mom's house.
You're not gonna beat my ass.
I want to just say something.
When you're a dude and you navigate life,
you always have to kind of, every room that you're in, your brain on some level sizes people up.
You recognize who's a threat and who isn't.
And I just want to put it out there to this guy.
I will fuck you up.
I'll beat the shit out of you.
I'm 100% certain of it.
So I just want this kid to know
that if you even think about coming anywhere close to me and challenge me, it's fucking on.
I will beat the absolute fucking shit out of you.
There you go.
Yeah, I believe you too.
Hey, what's up with this Mark Zuckerberg, guys?
Why does he, the trance?
What's going on, dude?
I don't know.
I don't know.
He's, I'm going to, and he goes, I'm going to.
You're not going to.
I'll beat your ass.
It's got to happen, dude.
It's still not happening.
Also, you could do another take of this video, bro.
Why did you upload this one?
Matter of fact, I'll put money on the line for any male that works here.
Though, to take him off?
I think every single one could take him.
Really?
Every single one.
We've got some pretty
weak ones.
Well, I know.
We've got some softies here, but they're not softer than him.
What do you think he weighs?
This guy?
It's hard to say because he's not.
Standing.
Can't see the full body.
I think some of the women could take him.
I believe that, too.
I hadn't the shit kicked out of me by a woman.
I know.
You have?
Well, I did that thing for
Rogue with the UFC.
Oh, right, yeah.
And Lil Monster.
I mean, she's a professional fighter, but she fucking refused.
Show her.
Let's look at her.
Look at Lil Monster.
Little Monster.
Yeah.
Dang.
Is she black?
No.
Oh.
She's Greek.
Oh, okay.
And she's like 5'1.
Bring her up.
And, but she's a little meat pocket.
Damn.
She's a fucking muscle vessel.
Yeah, dude.
That chick is fucking
just a muscle.
You don't understand when you're with a pro.
The level, the level of skill is insane.
What does it feel like to touch a woman that's like strong like that?
Well, you're not really touching her so much as just trying to hold on for dear life.
So, yeah.
What did she do?
She boxed you?
Yeah, she play boxed me and then she just went to her ground like jiu-jitsu and she just fucking wrapped me up like a cobra
and she did it at like 30 40 percent of her capacity be honest with me i know i'm your wife and we're maritally loving and wedded and stuff you didn't get it just a little hard no i was actually i was trying to i was like hey this arm's pretty fucked up
trying to save your limbs yeah but you don't think if i got into this and i could do this to you in the bedroom it would excite you
hear me out okay i'm hearing you out in the world you're very dominant male you're not you're doing your thing.
You're a non-toxic alpha.
What if in the bedroom I become the alpha?
Yeah.
And I dominate you.
I don't know about that.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
She looks amazing, though.
She's amazing.
She's super talented, too.
She's super talented.
If any of the women here started training, I bet they could fuck him up real good.
Oh, for sure.
I want to see this fight.
I want to fund these fights.
I want to do fight night.
I mean, there's some security that works out.
And whoever else is.
Oh, oh he's got the weird zuckerberg he's got uh there's like female security that could whoop this guy's ass at mothership you know what i'm saying yeah of course yeah yeah there's that one that we know that we see all the time fucking would just annihilate this guy yeah it's pretty cool
um dildo yeah you can't and also from what i understand of like male stuff is that you can't just issue idle threats like this because some some psycho is going to take you up on it like you yeah yeah i mean this isn't that stupid to like put forth threats?
But is this his thing to talk about threats all the time?
Is he like always talking about beating people up, this guy?
Do you know?
Or do we know?
No, we don't know.
We haven't found his profile yet.
Oh, okay.
He's known as Frankie Fardy's.
That's his real, that's what he's known as?
No.
That's what it says here.
Frankie Fardees.
Yeah, that's what they're calling him in the comments.
Because his eyes look like they fart?
I don't understand.
No, he looks like he has pink eye in them.
Someone farted in his eyes like someone farted in his eyes the caption says that face when your bully holds you down and farts in your eyes so
is this video that someone posted or it's not from his page no it's something something someone posted oh okay yeah well let it be known dude if you want to
go this whole studio's ready damn
just just to make it clear tom saying that we're not saying that necessarily any you're not gonna you don't feel you could take him on for
i just feel a little bad for the guy you know i just don't want to add to the, you know, you feel bad for a guy that's threatening violence?
I think he's just, you know, he's been hit too many times and he's just trying to defend himself.
You know, what if we all just farted in his eyes?
I would do it, probably.
Yeah,
I mean, do it.
You're the fart king.
Yeah, if he was in school, well, I don't know if that is.
He's not the fart king.
Don't you give any the title of fart king?
He denied his title.
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I mean, I will beat you if that's what, you know, if we really want to go there.
Oh, shit.
Oh, he's really.
See?
Me?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I mean, but I don't think you're the fart king of YMH.
Obviously, that's my husband, Tom.
Oh.
There's nobody that farts bigger than Tom.
You guys have compilate, there's entire compilations that are on our social media.
Those aren't of massive farts, though.
Beefing during your green screen.
Yeah, but those aren't like what a fart.
Yeah, but
I've lived with you for 20 years.
You have what a fart farts.
And he's done one fart in his lifetime at YMH.
I could bring Tanner in here right now and he'll tell you a very funny.
Why don't you show us these farts?
Why are you hiding your farts from us then?
Why is it just Tanner that gets to have this farts?
Well, I don't know what you're talking about.
I just, it's look, I'm not the being proud of a fart is crazy, man.
It's not a little deep.
I will say,
I am always a little, I'll be honest, I'm a little disappointed
and I'm a little hurt
that every time I fart around you, I get a head shake and you're like, it's fucking wild, you're disrespectful.
There's a time you never celebrate that.
You never does.
There was a time we were about to go do ads in this studio and we were in the other studio.
And on your way in front of me, you farted and I just didn't do the ads.
I just stayed in that studio because I ain't gonna breathe that fucking air that you're trying to finna force me to fucking breathe.
I ain't gonna do it.
I'm gonna just sit in there now.
I'm gonna fucking just be on the phone for a little bit.
Bro, what kind of relationship do we have that you can't be like, yo, that was dope, man?
Like, let's go do some ads now.
Nigga, you're my boss.
That's all relationship.
The fuck do you mean?
So, big ups, boss.
That was a tight phone.
No, that ain't no, no, that ain't no.
He called you the N-word.
I call everybody the.
I know.
It does feel special when you call us the N-words.
Bro, I was hanging out
a couple weeks ago.
I was in Vegas with some major BTBs.
Hell yeah.
BTBs.
Type shit, type shit.
Big blacks.
Did you give them the type shit?
Yeah.
Type shit.
That's what I taught you.
6'7.
6'7.
Oh, my God.
These were like major.
This was like the creme de la creme of BTBs, okay?
Big time blacks.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm at...
I'm at this massive fight.
I can't look at you talking about this.
And there's Chappelle, Marshawn Lynch, big times, Chance the Rapper,
Mike Tyson,
Michael Irvin, Evander Holyfield,
Lennox Lewis.
Biggest times.
It was like the fucking BTBs of BTBs.
It's a Mount Rushmore of BTBs.
And I just kind of
wiggled my way in there and I was like, what's up?
And it was the best.
When the BTBs are in an environment like that and having fun,
it's the greatest, man.
It was so great.
There he is.
Oh my God, you're right behind Tyson.
Behind Iron Mike.
I see Tony there, Kirk Fox.
What did it feel like to be so close to Mike?
And you guys have like a relationship.
Well, it was fun.
I, you know, when I, they were like, you're right.
You're right with Mike Tyson.
I was like, oh, sweet.
And I saw him.
And at first, when I came to my seat, he was already in his seat.
So I was like, oh, I'll just, you know, I don't want to, he's with his wife, like his arms around his wife.
You know, like, hey, so I just kind of waited a bit and then i found a moment and i said what's up to him now how did you do it though like i'll tell you exactly how i did it so
he's seated there i was like there's there's kind of like a break in the the fight hadn't started yet so we're all just kind of like waiting around and i just came around i said mike um
i just went right into it i was like hey we did uh we did rogan's podcast together one time and then i was like oh yeah and i go and we flew together once and you came to my show and i had this and he goes Segura.
And I go, yeah.
He goes, it's good to see you, man.
And gave me, you know, just like a little exchange like that.
And I was like, well, I'm right here.
If you need anything, you know, I'll fuck somebody up.
Can I tell you?
Can I tell you why that's so amazing?
Is that he remembered your last name.
He remembered my last name.
Accurately.
Yeah.
Not like Madison Square Gardener.
Samanitrust.
Yeah.
Oh, you Tom Cigar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's a BTB as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
But he gave me a, he gave me a Segura and he was like, yeah, yeah, it's good to see you.
We chatted a couple more times during the fight.
You know, I was asking more discussions.
But that was fun.
You know what I love?
Meeting Marshawn.
Oh, my God.
Even I know who that is from footballs when you're watching the football game.
And I'd be like, that's a great name.
Okay.
Andy, when I point to you,
say the N-word, okay?
Oh, no.
No, I'm just telling you,
I think I could pick it up.
This is exactly how this was before.
So I see Marshawn,
and we had texted the night before.
I was introduced to him via text.
So I was like, hey, I'll be at the fight.
He was like, me too, blah, blah, blah.
So then I see him, right?
And there's a bunch of people out.
And he also, everybody knows him.
So everybody's kind of like, I'm like, all right, I'm just going to say what's up.
Because
we just texted.
So I tap him on the shoulder.
He turns around.
I go, hey, it's Tom.
He was like, oh, what's up, man?
So we chat a little bit.
And as we're chatting about something that that the reason we were introduced was for like an idea so we're chatting about this idea
he's holding a he's really into photography now so he's been photo he went to nfl he was photographing the fight but we're in the lounge i was like oh what you got there telling me about the camera and then he looks up as we're talking sees somebody and he goes hey nigga
and then and then
He goes,
the guy turns and he goes,
takes a photo, and then he turns back to to me.
He's like, yeah.
So I go, oh, that's an interesting way you work.
Just startled.
Like, most photographers are like, excuse me, or, hey, stay right there.
He just goes, Sub Nick.
Dude, it was in crowds.
Like, that's the first photographer, like notable photographer who grabs people's attention that way.
That's such a great idea for a book.
Oh, yeah.
And you could just call it a book.
And you could just call it.
Yeah.
And you open it up, and it's everybody that just said that to and then it's just your face of being like yeah i wonder did any did he say that to any white people or just other btbs um
well that would i would have to be around him all the time to know that right you just saw it like once he did it like one time so it was pretty great though wow it was pretty great What a room.
What a special time.
What a special thing to be a part of.
The fun thing is to see him in that environment saying that, and then like a 62-year-old white guy going like, ah.
All right.
He's like, that's interesting.
That's always my favorite.
It's like, well, you weren't uncomfortable with this word a few years ago.
Yeah.
What happened?
You weren't uncomfortable when you were in high school and you were fucking yelling it across the field.
So now you're like, oh, my goodness.
And then the other white guy follow-up to that, the older one is always, how come they can say it?
That's always the problem whites have with it.
Old, old.
Older whites.
And can I tell you something?
It's always a charade.
In other words, I think so.
No, no, you know the answer.
Yeah.
You just like to go
why.
The best response to that, though, is like, no, you can.
You can, yeah.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Say it right now in the middle of the room.
I just want to hear how you would say it.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
And then they go, wait, are you being well?
Well, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to disrespect.
I don't actually use that word.
I disrespect and you want to say it.
What do you mean just
thought that I could, isn't this freedom of speech?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
You're free.
Well, listen, as long as we're on
BTB topics and stuff.
Now, this didn't happen with a B, but I was at the pharmacy
and I was waiting for my Prozac.
Yeah.
And there was a gentleman, just like a middle-aged white guy next to me.
Now, the pharmacy we go to is very, it's like small, the seating area.
Yeah.
And I'm waiting for them to call my name and blah, blah, blah.
And it's just me, another old guy on the bench.
We're just waiting.
Yeah.
And he's rolling business calls.
And, you know, like, and it's a cool move.
It's so cool.
And it's also like, oh, you have to do this call right now in front of all of us.
And it was like, well, you know, the media requests have been pretty, I mean, yeah, we can do that.
And I was like, like, he clearly wants us to know how important he is.
Like, he couldn't wait for 15 minutes and make the call.
Outside.
Now, the one saving, and it was really annoying because
it sounds like it was a really important person.
But he,
just, and then he'd roll into another one and i was like are you kidding me and the guy next to me we were like this is horrible but the one thing i will give him is that at least he didn't do it on speakerphone yeah that's another level usually which is something that usually when guys do it all the time bees do it why do bees do it
stay out of my bed like it's it's my phone what the fuck you mean right I'm not using your phone.
That'd be different, right?
That's disrespectful.
But the speakerphone convert, like if to have the whole thing on speakerphone,
real BTB shit is bringing out the JBL and then putting it on that that's real BTB shit I don't do that that's that's a that's another tier I can't I'm not there there's different tiers I've never seen that the JBL you've seen it yeah the speaker you mean a speaker little little pill speaker yeah
yeah and you're just like all right this is for all of us
but that that is a I've seen women by the way also do the public
home it's the worst and that's the dumbest conversation it's always like a it's a performative thing yeah to get people it depends on the type of conversation usually like what people are doing in that situation is they're trying to show people around them either a i'm not someone to be played with um
the men the men it depends yeah sometimes it's like you know because if they do like well you tell that motherfucker yeah that when i see him yeah yeah i'm gonna fuck him up and you're like okay this is for everybody to kind of get gather that you're tough yeah sometimes it's I want everybody around to, you know, know that I'm important.
I have important things going on.
It's real crazy.
Sometimes people who do this will throw in numbers.
Yes, that's what this guy did.
Yeah.
You know, 2.7 million, whatever.
Fuck it.
I got it.
And you're like, okay, all right.
This is a big shot.
He's letting us know.
He's a big shot.
And he was a traveler.
He had to let us know that he'll be in Europe for the next two months.
That's another thing.
I'm important.
I'm letting everybody know that
this is an important guy here.
In the pharmacy knew that he and his wife were going to Europe for two months.
Well, I can do that in Prague.
I can't do that here.
And you're like, oh, wow.
How totally.
It was so gross.
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And then, but you're right.
The women's conversations are like, well, I told her, I was like, Skylar, if I go to that Pilates, I am not going to see you there.
You better not go to na-na-na-na-na.
It's always about beef.
with some other woman.
Sometimes people will do that thing
where they'll have the argument with their significant other in front of people.
It's another way of just like performing for the, for the room, Let them know that, like, I'm taken, I'm wanted, and I will, I will, I will correct you.
Like, they want people to know, like, oh, wow, look how tough this person is.
Yeah, sometimes you just, you know, you're in those pharmacy lines and things just kind of go sideways, right?
Get my money back for the pills.
That is the wrong pill.
Fuck your mother, get my money back for the pills.
Now you're not going to kill me.
Fuck your mother, free speech, America.
Fuck your mother, fuck your father, fuck you.
Get my money back with my bills.
That's my heart, doctor.
I'm not going to fucking die for you.
A redneck scumbag like you.
Now somebody better give me $35 back is what they better do.
Yeah, the cops are coming.
Free speech, queer.
Are you queer?
Get the hell out of here, you queer!
Damn.
I think he found the button.
Yeah.
Everything was fine until he was like, are you queer?
He's like, get the fuck out of here.
That sounded like Far Dies.
Shit.
You're not going to beat my ass.
I'm not going to.
You're going to beat my pussy ass.
I'll be your pussy ass.
But in defense of this gentleman, CVS, not great generally.
Yeah.
I fucking, it's the worst.
It's the lowest.
Yeah.
Dude, I felt like this.
Fuck your mother, free speech, America.
Fuck your mother, free speech, America.
Three separate thoughts combined to make one sentence.
Fuck your mother, free speech, America.
Yeah, that's low-key a bar.
Yeah, it's pretty tight.
Fuck your mother, fuck your father.
Free speech, queer.
Now, I'll have to say this.
Fuck your mother.
What?
Listening to somebody roll calls publicly is a nightmare.
Listening to somebody lose their shit and scream at a retail person just doing their job,
like a prayer service.
It's absolutely one of the most beautiful things you can witness.
Yeah, this is like a candlelight vigil in my eyes.
I know.
It feels good.
But then, yeah, I feel bad for the workers.
I felt like this when, you ever have it where they're like, so I had to get my Prozac, you know, and then they're like,
and they're like, I waited forever.
And then I get up there and she's like, yeah, we can't do that until October 15th.
I'm like, do what?
Give me these pills?
Like, if I don't take these, I'm going to have a fucking psychotic breakdown, bro.
Like, I got to take these.
And I was like, I don't care.
Just wait.
Like, it's an insurance thing.
And I'm like, you fucking, I was like, just, it's, it was like a whole $5, too.
Were you like, are you praying?
Yeah, that's how I wanted to feel.
Like, even the other girl behind the register was like, bro, it's like $5.
Just give her the meds.
Yeah.
Like, I wasn't going to be like, no, I can't pay $5.
Yeah.
To have my mind right.
Oh, right.
So you had to pay the five bucks.
Whoopi.
Yeah.
Give it to me, dummy.
Anyway, Anyway, I get this guy.
I feel him.
Yeah, I get it too.
Fuck your mother.
Fuck your father.
Are you queer?
Give me my meds.
Give me my money back.
Give me my $35.
Give me my $35.
So he wants the.
He wants to, what, give the pills back and get the money?
I don't really understand.
I don't understand either.
I guess he wants his money back because they didn't give him the right amount of pills or some shit.
I don't know.
But that's very rare.
I would love to see how this was resolved.
They're so stingy with their pills in America.
It's so hard to get fucking like antibiotics.
You know how stupid that is?
Yeah.
Like, oh, I need penicillin.
Well, I'm not going to OD on penicillin.
They should just sell that shit at the bodega.
You know how, like, you're in Mexico and you're in the fucking
what Latin America has, which is just a pharmacy
where you can get what you fucking need.
I know.
You just go, I need antibiotics.
And they're like, yeah, here they are.
Yeah.
You're not going to abuse penicillin.
I need fucking dick pills why can't i just buy them here
what the fuck i know they regulate that they regulate
i'm like just fucking
guys i'm not gonna go trying to get high why can't i buy a pill here
anyway
let's talk about speaking of people from different parts of the world
who smells the worst because i'll say this yeah a lot of people and i'm sure that like you'll you'll see this a lot at least here in the States, they always attribute the BO of BOs to the people of India and Pakistan, right?
They'll just go, you guys don't, but it's not fair to dismiss Eastern Europe.
I agree 100%.
Some of the smelliest motherfuckers that we've ever come across are white Eastern Europeans.
Now, there's reason, right?
There's always like factors for how this happens culturally, why a culture of people would have a social absolutely eastern europe you go there my god in the summertime and it's a nightmare and one of the reasons i think that we're finding it to be so prevalent amongst eastern european whites is that one of their fashion choices that you find especially amongst men is the sleeveless teas yes they love to go out in like one of these right and it's summertime and
your bodies are cooking and the armpits are right there it's like It's like an invitation to meet their armpits.
Yeah, it's a smell buffet.
It really is.
And I also think that it must be also not just the attire and the climate, but that maybe deodorant is just not as prevalent and popular.
Like here in the States, for most people who have, let's just say who are employed.
Like if you have a job, for most people, they're like, oh, my hygiene is at least somewhat important.
I'll wear deodorant.
But when you're there, you feel like, oh, I don't feel like, and like these are employed people.
I don't feel like you care what you smell like.
And this is your people.
This is my tribe.
So I listen, I smell
best smelling people, by the way.
In my experience,
in America, it's black women
and Latins of both.
I was just going to say, high-class Latins smell
amazing.
Always.
Yeah.
So here's the deal, man, is I was thinking about this topic yesterday because we smelled BO yesterday.
Bad.
Bad.
Real bad.
And crackers, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was like, a white guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And
I was like, wow, it's been a while since I felt that.
It's so personal to smell somebody's body.
Especially if you're in close proximity.
Like if you're talking, if you're, you know, it's one thing somebody walks by, you go, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
When you're like having to talk to someone, you're like, the fuck is going on?
It's an assault on the senses.
Yeah.
It doesn't, it's kind of, it's like, whoa, that, I don't know you like that, bro.
Like, how can you fucking inflict that?
But summer of 1994, I was in Hungary for like months, and I would ride the Willamosh, the Hungarian transport, and man, that was a smell I'll never forget.
People packed in, sweating, right?
I've also been to the Middle East.
And the Middle Easterners, I think you have a theory that's right here.
Because they wear
the clothing, it masks the smells if they have them.
And also, a lot of people, like you said, the Indians, they think they're the stinkiest.
Not my stepdad.
I lived with one.
And he wasn't stinky.
Not once that I smell him.
I just, I feel, because like, I'll say this.
You know, I've grown up, obviously, like in a Latin-influenced household.
Yeah.
And I've spent a lot of time with Latin American people.
The women, dude, they, they never smell bad.
They never smell bad.
The dudes.
A cultural thing amongst a lot of Latin dudes is not just like hygiene presentation.
They're all into like cologne.
Like
smells.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice smells.
Yeah.
I would also say if you want to play a game, when you're out in public next time, let's say you're in a hotel lobby, you're in a bar, a restaurant, just any of the mall, if you see a black woman who is between the ages of 20 and 60,
You can bet your I bet you if you go, this woman's going to smell amazing, nine out of 10 times.
Oh, yeah.
You'll walk by her and be like, she smells amazing.
Oh, yeah.
And I think it's partially, you know, it's a culture thing, skincare, hair care.
They almost always smell amazing.
Lovely.
They smell, and the lotions on their skin always smell amazing.
I would say it's like more than nine out of 10.
It's almost like 10 out of 10.
Yeah, 10 out of 10.
It's really crazy.
And black gentlemen smell very nice.
A lot of black guys also
very much with like skincare,
presentation.
You know who's the best smelling black man in show business?
I think I've even told you this before.
Marlon Waynes?
Marlon Wayans.
That guy would show up.
I worked on one TV show with him a million years ago, and he just smelled like a dream and he smelled like he used, I think, Aveda hair stuff.
And then whatever odor
perfume, I was like, this guy smells amazing.
Yeah.
And Brett Ernst smelled very good all the time.
Comedian Brett Ernst.
Those are two good smelling dudes.
Yeah.
Good hygiene.
Good hygiene.
And that's really what it is.
It's all about hygiene.
Yeah.
Oh, 20 countries
with the worst.
20 countries with the worst body odor.
Interesting to Reddit.
Okay, this is interesting.
So, number 20, they have Vietnam, and it says, you know, Southeast Asia's humid environment.
That makes sense.
This is like a.
And it's also like, it's a developing country, right?
Like, it's not like
completely whatever, undeveloped.
But yeah, there's like, there's a lot of rural parts and but like the but other Asians not smelly at all like the Japanese not smelly right totally totally different type of Asian yeah yeah
however if you go to Korea South Korea obviously the whole fucking place smelled like garlic that makes sense yeah it's like part of the yeah everything smelled like garlic to me 19 oh Philippines there you go congratulations
there's tenor there's any
Philippines body odor body odor body odor especially for those who suffer from it the condition may have have a negative impact on their social life.
Take note from the additional variables that affect body odors, incidents in addition to inadequate cleanliness.
Oh, yeah.
Diet has an impact,
which is kind of like the garlic thing.
Yeah.
Pork, rice, bread are the key ingredients of that cuisine.
Onions and garlic.
Oh, yeah.
Can I tell you, yes, when we smelled that guy's BO, I think why it's so offensive to me is because then I'm aware of his habits, like his eating, like his teeth brushing.
Well, here's kind of crazy.
18 is Nepal.
So far, Asia is dominating the B.O.
Asia wins.
Well, in 17, we go to Iran.
Now, what's interesting is
I wonder if this had been a,
and if they would be on this list pre-like revolution, sure.
You know what I mean?
Like
when Tehran was the Paris of the Middle East,
this may have been a different thing.
And also, might I add, when I was doing USO tours many years ago, I spent some time with Iraqi soldiers.
Yeah.
Man, that was a fun.
That was
a sight.
Yeah.
That did not smell good.
Saudi Arabia.
Yeah.
Again,
it's a really hot environment.
Yeah.
Right.
This says here, this is interesting because, again, we were talking about culture.
Hall discovered that Arabs do not make an effort to completely cover their odors.
And in contrast to Americans who engage in daily rituals of deodorizing and perfume application,
Arabs practice purification rites.
They aim to symbolize and eradicate the differentness of the outsider,
whom their culture refers to as he who stinks.
So it's almost like separating us from you.
But you do that, we don't do that.
Turkey
is a country with the worst spotty, but it's number 15.
Oh no.
That was according to Turkish Hurriyet, the comment left by American basketball player Danny Granger on his Twitter, which angered Turks.
Of course.
In the world championship, he traveled to Turkey, and according to his blog, Turks don't use deodorant and smell like dead donkeys.
A dead donkey.
All right, fair enough.
Oh, the Turks are very racket.
Iraq, yeah.
Not there.
I was in the Persian Gulf.
Back to what you were saying about what you use a lot of spices.
Yeah.
They use spices.
The stinky ones.
Yeah, nutmeg, cloves, paprika.
Paprika, which might explain my Hungarian summer.
And we eat a lot of garlic, too.
I wonder if the hungos will be on this list.
Oh, I hope there's still 13 more spots.
There sure is.
Indonesia.
I get that.
Oh, for sure.
But again, that's a gimme.
A lot of almost every place that we have seen on this list is a warm climate.
Humid, tropical.
However, hold on, though.
Yeah.
Let's do a little devil's advocate here.
Yeah.
You know where else is hot?
Where?
The Bahamas, the Caribbean, Jamaica.
You don't see these things.
Well, we don't know.
We don't know what's coming up.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, go back.
This is a different.
This is interesting because in this, this says that
the owner of this newest motorcycle sharing firm, Eris
Wayudi, believes he has discovered a novel strategy for increasing sales.
Ndang Ahmad, a 37-year-old professional armpit sniffer.
Oh, wow.
Adds that holding a clipboard, he uses it to grade applicants while they stand with their arms out in front of them.
We have come across many types of odor.
We don't give a pass to those whose perspiration.
Okay, I'm not really sure what that was.
Yeah, whose perspiration and underarm odor are combined?
I don't understand how you could separate the two.
Let's scroll.
This is nonsense.
Thailand can both.
All right.
Finally.
Finally.
Okay, so there's
two more Asian countries, and then finally, the USA.
Okay, scroll down.
According to the survey,
Americans are far less likely than their older counterparts to have used deodorant.
This is true.
Or younger Americans, excuse me.
That makes sense to me.
The hippie shits.
Nearly four in 10 Americans between the ages of 18 and 24 claimed they hadn't used antipostorint or deodorant in the previous month.
Only 69% 69% of Americans between the ages of 25 and 34 reported using their product.
So maybe this younger generation is stinkier than the older ones.
I would like to say that
my parents' generation,
almost everybody that I would meet always smelled.
Yes, but these younger kids, they're like, it's not natural.
It's going to give you cancer.
Like, I don't think it's not the deodorant.
My question to the
younger generation of Americans is.
Are you queer?
because you should be cleaning up.
Okay, scroll.
Yeah, they're hippies, man.
Yeah, I was going to say Hollywood hipsters.
Yeah, they're the worst.
That's the worst smell, I think.
The patchori-wearing crowd.
And now we're getting now we're getting top 10.
So nine is Australia, which again, very hot climate.
True.
And it just says that Australia's performance in the area of hygiene and grooming falls below the world average.
I doubt that.
I can see just the fact that it's a very outdoorsy, active
type hot.
It's hot as shit.
It's hot as shit.
And maybe, like, people who are, you know, you're in the Outback or something, the last thing on that guy's mind is like, do I smell good?
Okay, but what about the coastal towns?
You know, those
Brisbane and I mean, it's like anywhere.
I think the more cosmopolitan the city you're in and the type of community you're in, you're going to see hygiene become a thing.
But this is a country that just does have a lot of outdoorsy activities.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And maybe that's where some of that.
But what's more interesting to me is now we're getting somewhere because number eight is the Czech Republic.
Here we go.
So we're getting into Eastern Europe.
I wonder if they will dominate the rest of this list.
Of course.
So after their beer, the second most recognizable characteristic of the Czech is their body odor.
Of course, dude.
Deodorant uses is generally frowned upon in Europe, but among the Czechs, there is more simply just more, there is more than simply hesitation.
The frequency and potency of the smell suggested is a direct protest against proper underarm hygiene.
That is insane.
So it's like it's both intolerable and accepted that I guess that one would use that.
So the Czechs are stinky, laid-back, multilingual people who think that cigarettes are man's greatest friend.
All right, they're really fucking letting them hear it.
Czech Republic.
Well, you're number eight.
Remember the French?
The French are stinky, too.
Stinky women have pit hair.
Absolutely.
Oh, Russia, dude.
There you go.
Of course.
See, the whites beat everybody.
I know.
And the Russians are also like, fuck you.
That's kind of like their attitude.
So So I could totally see vodka drinking out they drink a lot of alcohol too They don't give a fuck sausages and it comes out of your fucking pores Now we're getting somewhere So we're still that's basically Eastern Europe.
Okay, scroll down number
Bangladesh
curry is a common odor among Nepalese Indian Pakistani Bangladeshi people
Again, this is like a directly related to cuisine, it seems like that's that's the suggestion Pakistan.
We knew you'd be in here
We've run into you.
We don't even need an explanation.
Scroll for Germans.
Germans!
True story.
You know why?
The world's worst lovers are guys from Germany.
German men just edged out English guys to claim the unwelcome title of the worst lovers in the world.
Wow.
You know, can I tell you why?
I believe the Germans are.
There's not as much focus on hygiene.
At least my grandmother, who was born in Germany and grew up somewhat German, there's less emphasis on like you have to wash your hair a lot or you have to shower a lot.
They are less into it.
And I think they just don't use deodorant, just like Eastern French.
There's France, number three.
Yeah, dog.
Yeah, they have stinky pits, dude.
Oh,
listen to this stat, though.
According to this survey, 43% of French men and women, according to the research, don't take a nightly shower.
That's nearly half.
One-fourth admit to taking a shower once every 48 hours.
11% said every three days.
And 8% said they take one every four days.
So hygiene is a real struggle in France.
The fact that you guys in France have the audacity to fucking tilt your noses up at people for anything is beyond comprehension.
You're fucking disgusting.
Okay,
let's go.
Africa.
You mean the whole continent?
That's a...
Yeah, that's a little...
Humans have a gene that produces a protein that feeds the bacteria responsible for body odor.
Most African Americans and Africans carry this gene.
Nearly 97% of people of European or African descent carry the odor.
Well, that's just saying all people.
It's just that African Americans are a lot of people.
Yeah, that's like all the planet, bro.
Okay.
That's only the Asians are missing there.
So we know India is number one, right?
That's what's going to happen.
Yeah,
hey, let me tell you, my stepdad never saw.
I would love to see
what this summary is, though.
So the thing is, so they're not used a lot, antiperspace deodorants.
I get that.
Majority of Indians believe the deodorant is a Western invention.
Okay, so that kind of makes sense.
A majority of respondents who do not use deodorant or use them blame the expensive price of the product.
That also makes sense.
India has a high rate of poverty.
Obviously, the cuisine is a thing, right?
We gather that that's going to affect the way you smell.
Not only the body odor of Indian guys smell, but four to five of them will have it.
Don't know what that means.
The bodily stench is more potent than that of a sour radish.
Okay, so there's a little bit of an editorial spin on this.
Do you think that in these countries where it's more customary to not have good hygiene and to not put deodorant on, do you think the women prefer a man with his musk built?
Yes.
So then you get to see it.
I think human beings acclimate to everything kind of period.
Sure.
And I do think if you're born in, raised around, or around a place that
that is the norm, that is the norm.
In other words, you just go like whatever.
Now, somebody can have an extreme smell, obviously, but I think your standard BO, where someone's like, I didn't shower today, I don't think it is going to affect everybody around them if they're encountering it every day.
That's just the way we're doing it.
I bet it really affects your mating stuff.
Because, like, I like how you smell.
Yeah.
Well, no, it's only it's pheromones and such.
And if people are releasing them with abandon.
I had this conversation.
I'm not going to, I'll tell you off mic, but like, where somebody
notable was like, oh, yeah, you definitely should never wear like cologne or anything.
And I was like, what?
Why?
They're like, because that doesn't smell good.
What smells good is like just your natural smells.
And I was like, huh.
Okay.
And this was like a woman, you know, saying this.
Yeah, because women are attracted to men's smells.
Yeah, pheromones.
Yeah.
And I like, I like the way you smell naturally.
Yeah.
And we're that, it's a huge thing for women and who want who you want to reproduce.
But you don't want BO.
You don't want BO, but you want that person's pheromones.
For instance, women, there's a study about how when you're on the birth control pill, it alters your body chemistry too and your ability to smell and your pheromones as well.
So it fucks with that dynamic.
You know what I'm saying?
You feel me what I'm talking about?
I know what time I feel.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying.
Yeah.
Wasn't it when you said, Annie,
that type shit?
Type shit.
Type shit, type shit.
That's what I
taught Tom when, what's his name?
Druski was in in here.
I was like, just tell him, type shit when you're saying it.
He's going to understand.
He's going to understand.
He got mad.
He did.
He got mad.
He got mad.
He was like, don't fucking try to sound black and cool.
He's like, what the fuck?
What is this?
What is this type shit?
What is this?
Come on, man.
Just talk to me normal.
I had another black guy.
I don't think ever.
Six, seven.
Another black guy.
He goes,
six, seven.
Your kids say that, right?
Yeah, okay.
That's so stupid.
This black dude, he was like, yo, he goes, yo, say, like, he was telling me what to say in this dialogue we were having.
He was like, be like, yo, what's up, man?
I didn't know you was here.
What's up?
You know, I go, oh, okay.
So I go, what's up, man?
I didn't know.
He goes, no, no, say it the way you'd say it.
Oh, my God.
He was like, don't say how I say it.
Say how you say it.
I was like, oh, like, say it like a white guy.
He's like, yeah.
I was like, oh, okay.
Like a nerd alert.
I thought he was telling me, like, say, say what I'm saying.
He was like, yeah, but not like me.
Not like me.
Say it like you.
I was like, oh, okay.
I got a pee like me.
Okay, go ahead.
Peed.
Felt good.
Oh, my God.
You have an email that we're supposed to read?
Oh, there's quite a few.
I mean,
listen, I've been wiping my hands on my pants lately.
Do you want to read the response?
Somebody's real cheese off about it.
Well, yeah, I was nobody's fucking business.
I mean, why?
Like, I'm using my
pants as napkins and doing napkin pants.
Yes, which is fine, especially on denim, which is meant to absorb oils and such and food.
And then I wash my pants.
Okay.
What's the problem?
Just get a napkin, dude.
I don't want to get a napkin.
I'm with my kids.
I'm running.
I'm in the park.
I'm never around a napkin.
I'm always in the car.
Here's the email.
Nobody cares.
Yeah, nobody cares.
I heard your plea for the normalization of napkin pants.
Let me lay out my argument here.
As a mom, I get it.
I'm disgusting out of necessity also.
At this point, you're not doing this out of necessity.
It's an act of choice, but your pants are to cover your naked bottom and legs.
They're not meant as napkins.
Naked bottom.
Maybe you could carry a napkin or a hanky or something.
Jesus Christ, Gene.
Here are the risks of napkin pants.
The oils of the foods may create stains in the fabric that are difficult to remove.
All right.
If you have an animal, they may lick the genes because they smell and enjoy the remnants of your napkin pants.
Even better.
If you blow your nose
on your shirt and then wipe food hands on your napkin pants, you're kind of a walking Petri dish, thus showing the world how disgusting you truly are.
That one's not a risk, more of a fact.
Honestly, I support you living your truth.
Plus, none of your friends will ever ask to borrow your clothes when they witness these atrocities.
Hate from Minnesota.
Whitney.
Well, Whitney, those are all good points, but they're stupid and wrong.
No, Whitney's right.
Whitney is right.
You're queer, and it's disgusting.
But I wash my pants
regularly.
It's not a big deal.
What are you talking about?
And what's wrong with cats licking your pants or animals licking your pants?
I think that's lovely.
And by the way, it's not covering your naked bottom.
You don't wear underwear, you disgusting bitch, Whitney?
Filthy ass.
That's what underwear is for.
It's a barrier between your genitals, your asshole, and your pants, dummy.
Whitney is right.
You are disgusting.
Get a napkin.
Get a paper towel.
Get a regular towel.
Don't use your pants as napkins.
Let me tell you, I do it.
It started out of necessity, and then it just became a convenience, and now I'm not giving that up.
Whatever.
This is so upsetting, I'm switching the topic.
Why don't you give it a try, and then you'll see.
You're gonna like the way you look.
Bottoms, you just start lying about douching.
Like, y'all really should just start doing that.
If a man on grinder sniffies hits you up and says, Hey, are you douche?
Are you clean?
Just be like, Yeah, yeah, I am.
Because tops don't deserve respect.
They don't.
Like, this be fucking for real.
Not only that, though, but if you have a good diet, like, you're gonna come out clean most of the time.
Like, you'll be chill.
And I'm not gonna lie, if you're hot enough, a lot of these tops will still keep going.
They'll just use the shit as extra lube.
Like, bitch, you fucking throw.
But yeah, like, just start lying.
Like, just shit on the nigga because, like, tops don't deserve respect.
They know.
They know.
Do you think tops don't deserve respect?
I mean,
this is new to me.
I don't know about this, but I do think it's kind of wild to be like, I'm going to lie and say I'm clean.
And then if there's too much shit there, just use it as lube.
That's wild, you know?
Just shit on the nigga.
Yeah.
Can I, but real talk?
Yeah.
I might lie too.
Oh.
If I might, I might.
Like, let's say I can't get around to anal douching, but I really like you and I really want to be bottom that night.
I might be like, dude, it's fine.
And what if I know it's fine?
Like, what if I know my smells, like your dad said?
What do you, what do you know is fine?
What if I just knew, like, okay, I had a big salad.
I took a big dump this morning.
I'm pretty clean.
No, no, that's not, that's not.
No, you're, you're, you're, okay.
Hold on.
It's a hot debate.
Well, yeah, the lie, the lie that you're doing is you're saying it's all, I'm all clean down there.
Yes.
Just because to get laid and then during it you're gonna have to deal with the fact that there's shit falling out of you if there's shit falling out well you haven't cleaned yourself so you can't just go like well i you don't know you're not clean there is but what he's saying is sometimes you don't need to do right right you might not it's not a given first of all i i have i have one gay friend yeah i have one gay friend i have one black friend that's all you need to i run stuff
that's all you need don't ever up those numbers go ahead
yeah but he tells me, he's like, look, it's a fallacy that every time you do butt sex, that you brown everywhere.
He's like, it's just not the case.
I understand.
Especially the older, gayer you are.
You've done it.
You know what I'm saying?
So you're saying, I want to roll the dice.
And if there is a ton of shit that just falls, I always be like, I got it.
Yeah, but these fools are used to it.
They just use the shit as extra loop.
That's what they do, right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I got to ask my gay friend if they use this shit as extra luck.
Annie, what do you think?
Isn't this bullshit?
I didn't fucking listen to a damn word of that episode i used remember the cat report the cat report just got a new entry
and let me tell you it's the gay voice okay why why do you need he doesn't need to talk like that he doesn't need to but i can't even hear a word he's saying because i'm just like what is this act why why just because he's signaling to others what his preference that way he they know yeah but that's crazy
it's like a it's like a bird call i get it but it's like because now you know so you just calling out for for dick all day like that's how you talk on the regular.
You talk professionally.
But just like white girls talk like I do.
Like, oh my god, like, it's just like what you do culturally.
Like, I hang out.
I don't like that.
I know, I know.
I totally know.
I'm the best.
But the point is, is that it's just cultural.
It's your peeps.
But when I hang out with my valley friends growing up, I fall into it pretty fast, right?
But what you're talking about is code switching.
Code switching.
Everybody does.
But maybe, wouldn't the argument be for him then that he is code switching because he's doing a purposely gay video for a gay audience?
No, only because I bet you this dude talks like that all day.
He does all day.
And like, how is it that their face just looks gay?
Like,
I look at him and I'm like, dude, he's not.
There's no way this guy's straight.
You just know.
Oh, because he's smiling.
He's smiling.
He's smiling too much.
Matter of fact,
look at every fucking picture that we've taken as a studio.
See if I'm smiling.
in any of those motherfucking days.
Because happiness makes you feel like you're not.
So you do smile sometimes, right?
You never smile?
No, No, not in pictures.
Wait, in life you've never smiled?
I'm not saying I've never smiled, but name me the last time.
He doesn't.
Oh, no.
He's not a smile.
Why are you so smiley?
What's there to be so smiley about?
Well, maybe you're smiling because you're going to lie about whether you douche it or not, and then you'll just deal with it.
You see, I don't have that problem.
There's nothing to smile about.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, bitch, you ain't going there.
Please,
please, can someone set up a fart male white orgy for free for me?
Can they invite me somewhere at least?
I still don't get a fart male white porn, but please can someone invite me to a free fart male orgy where i'm gonna be on the offense and bang and please i'm gonna the fart male white did you guys who set this up know that we've had him on the show no there's no way this guy's been on the show but like a million this is like the silver lake days this is the beautiful guppies yeah yeah we love him oh i thought there was a chance because it's an old clip yeah this is this is uh this is the guy who wants white men in gray sweatpants who have farts beautiful guppies yeah Yeah.
Yeah.
And he gets hard when he.
That's the time is now.
Remember?
The time is now.
The time is now.
That's him.
Farting in his face.
Yeah.
Oh, the time is now.
The time is now.
He's very sincere.
So this guy's.
This guy's totally legit.
Which is not a bit.
And we actually even hooked him up with a porno company
to make a white man fart porn into his mouth.
He wants a white male fart orgy.
That's what he's saying in this video.
And he's sincere as shit.
This is not a joke.
Great guy.
Yeah, sweetheart.
What a sweetheart.
I bet he douches before he bottoms.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't want you to, though.
He wants you to fart those farts right in his face.
This is outrageous.
Yeah, well, those are our rates, man.
This was a good job.
Fuck.
Where does the kiss come in?
Oh.
I don't understand.
See, he looks.
I'd like to be kissed when I'm getting fucked.
Oh.
I'll tell you what.
I'll meet you halfway.
You load the bill?
No.
I'll fuck your kisser, though.
If open watch.
Does anybody ever do this when they're thinking in real life?
Why do actors do that?
Actors?
I don't know if I would call these actors.
They're better than me.
You see Gary Oldman and Daniel Day-Lewis going?
But nobody in IRL does.
Hmm.
No, no.
Well, you do if you're like...
Like if you're talking about like a real moment where somebody, you know, they put their hand somewhere, they go like, fuck, they're thinking.
They might do, but they don't look at you and go,
hmm, I might fuck where you talk out of.
They don't do that usually.
You know, just one acting class is all these guys would need to get into this.
I'm so glad they didn't.
It's so much better this way.
All these clips.
Can they have a coach, for God's sake, just, you know, one of the famous Hollywood people just to come in and
go through the scene work.
It would ruin it.
I'm so glad that they didn't do those types of things.
What?
Over
What?
Oh, yeah, that guy is like, how about we fuck your mouth?
He goes,
what?
That guy was great.
Do they have the porn award?
And then he gets right on his knees.
That's the only thing.
It's like, if you were like directing that scene,
the way he did what was perfect.
Do you have that one?
And also, question, do they have a bad acting porn award?
I know they have the AVNs for scenes, but they should have acting awards for pornography.
I know.
Like best actual acting.
Yeah.
And that's what they should call it.
Best actual acting.
Because they get performance for their fucking.
Right.
But they should get like an actual acting award.
Or even like the Razzies or whatever.
What?
Yeah.
And then the next thing he does, he gets right on his knees.
See, I would have had that guy, if I were directing that scene, I'd be like, no, no, like keep that same resistance going for a while.
You know what I mean?
Right.
And the guy, and then there should be more dialogue, though.
Yeah.
Like, what?
Because they convince him right away.
Yeah.
They're like, get on their knees and suck our dicks.
And he goes, what?
And then they just grab him.
He's like, all right.
And then he just sucks their dicks.
Right, a little hesitance.
A lady has to pretend a little that she doesn't want to do it.
It's just, yeah.
Where's the scene, you guys?
Pull it up.
Hold on, we're finding it.
One second.
This is a McDonald's drive-through.
My queen.
Who is this angel?
I had a girl.
Listen, I normally don't believe in abusing
drive-through people.
But, however, McDonald's, and I know your father, rest in peace, would agree with me.
Their service has become appallingly, diabolically bad.
Poor service lately.
Hi, welcome to McDonalds.
Have you used the app to order today?
No, fuck you.
That's why I'm here talking to a fucking person.
I know.
I don't want to use an app for everything in my life.
I do think
the only thing that's fucked about this
is that she farted and then put the car and drive to drive away.
Like, the move is do that and then order.
She should have ordered.
Yeah.
Not just leave.
Don't get scared.
All right, here we go.
Oh, yeah, here you go.
This is an amazing scene.
Get off your asses and back to work.
Come on, man.
We're taking a break.
Fuck your break.
There's 15 cars here that need to be serviced.
Now get back to the business.
That's still good.
The only thing that needs servicing around here is our cocks.
Good.
So get on your knees and beg like like a bitch.
This is great.
He's nailing it.
That is good.
That other guy was great.
He's like, get on your knees and suck ourselves.
And the way that this guy is reacting to that ridiculous demand is how to do it.
Yeah.
I feel you can see it in his face, though, that he's about to fold.
Because he's not, it's not a convincing what.
He's not really taken aback.
What?
But then he didn't feel the what.
Does it keep going?
Do you have the rest of it or no?
I think that's where our family is.
Oh, that's where our
If you pull up the actual, because we've had a scene one time,
then the scene is, he says that, and they just follow up with their demand, and then they pull him down.
See, I think this level of
being incredulous is what he needed to carry through the scene more.
I agree, because those two guys are like, why don't you suck our dicks?
And he's their manager.
He's their
superior.
There's 15 cars here that need servicing, you fuckers.
And they're like, shut up, bitch.
And he's like, okay.
that's way too soon to surrender there's a power dynamic happening here it's your employees yeah it's fucking insane imagine if this exchange happened between you and employees here like no way it would take way more time try to tell me to suck your dicks
no one
go ahead cougar go for it
Cougar,
you know the lines.
The only thing that needs servicing around here.
So Tom, you start them off with Cougar.
You go, okay, guys.
There's 15 fucking shows that haven't been edited.
Get in there and get to fucking work.
Come on, man.
We're on our break.
I don't give a fuck about your break.
Get in that editing bay and cut those shows.
Why don't you get on your knees and beg?
Suck our car.
I fucking know what the hell.
What?
Okay.
Yeah, and now that I see you workshop it, I see the flaws.
There's no emotional arc that makes sense.
Just start blowing them right away.
That's the big flaw.
You blew the arc of that whole scene.
Anyway, I'm willing to do scene study work with these adult performers.
I think you should.
I think it'd be fun.
Helps me too.
I'm trying to work on it, too.
I'm Emmy nominated.
Oh, that's true.
You should have a workshop for porno actors.
Workshop for porno actors.
That could be a great thing we do.
Okay.
I'd like to remind everybody before we head out, Tom's original artwork of Tom and the Bear, $1,000 on YMH Studios.
Oh, that's exciting.
Yeah.
You have the sticker over my genitals.
Because we got flagged on services.
Also, fuck around and find out the prints are for sale at YMAC.
The original is gone.
The original is gone, $60,000.
This was a lot of fun.
Thank you for watching.
Thank you for listening.
I'm on tour.
The tour is going to end December 6th, I think.
What?
Yeah, so what?
So you can get tickets now.
Tomsagera.com slash tour.
I'm taping my special
Milliwauke, Wisconsin.
The shows, by the way, that are being taped for Netflix,
I'm taping three shows.
And right now, the 15th is all sold out in Milwaukee.
But we added a show in 14th, which is a
taping day for us as well.
If you want to get tickets to that, tomsgirl.com slash tour.
Look, if you're in that area, somewhere in Wisconsin, even if you're in Chicago, come up to Milwaukee.
It's going to be a really fun experience.
I can't wait to tape it there at the Riverside Theater.
So, I hope to see you there.
Again, there's a bunch of dates on sale at tomsegura.com/slash tour.
Thank you very much.
Check it out.
See you next week.
Trout out.
All I'm saying is,
why is it gay for a female,
well, for a man to be okay with his female licking his ass during seats?
what you heard, baby
Fuck what you heard me I'ma ask you Fuck what you heard bit
Fuck what you heard me I'ma ask you Fuck what you heard baby
Fuck what you heard me I'ma ask you Fuck what you heard bit
Fuck what you heard me I'ma ask you
If my nigga would let me lick his ass
I would lick the shit out of his ass Like niggas eat this
He say that she gay.
And you got to be honest, fellas.
It feels good to have your ass bitch.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
I'm a ass lady.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
I'ma ask you.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
I'ma ask you.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
Fuck what you heard, bitch.
I'm an ass man.
Lick my ass.
Lick lick lick.
Lick my ass.
Lick.
Lick.
Lick.
Lick my ass.
Lick.
Lick.
Lick.
Lick my ass.
Lick.
Lick.
What's in it for me?
Knowing that you're blowing your ugly mind
With would would would you wax it?
Yeah
You promise?
Yeah
yeah yeah I get to lick your ass
I'm a ass.
Up what you heard me.
Fuck what you heard me.
I'm a ass man.