#2761 RHOBH S1415 Part Two: Love Papped

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Hi, everyone.

Welcome back.

This is part two of a two-part recap.

If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes.

But enough of that.

Let's get right back into the episode.

So then we go to Drake's Hollywood and it's time for a PK and Doreen.

So I don't know much, but I can tell you this much.

Drake's had a group on this week.

Yeah.

You know, if you're having a conversation where you're trying to reconcile and move forward with your, with your partner who you're possibly going to divorce, of course, I'm going to go to Drake's, like a scene nightclub.

I don't get this at all.

So, yeah, it had to be the group on.

So they sit down, they're talking, and she's like, how are you?

She's like, I get you weird.

It's like, well, life's weird, isn't it?

One moment, you're staring down

into the dark abyss of the Pringlescan.

The next moment, you're in your own little flat, remembering the days when you had a wife who'd get pied in the the face, literally, at a Pantone in Britain.

It is a weird life.

She's like, well, I mean, it's good.

Thankfully, you've leaned in and given me a kiss.

And he's like, why wouldn't I, babe?

Just, well, I don't know, because would you like a high five instead?

Here you go.

Oh, purse is gone.

Where'd your purse go?

PK and I have been separated for three months.

And to that, I'd like to say,

and

then she says, what I thought was going to be an amicable separation turned into three months of the worst kind of roller coaster I could have imagined.

Which I would love to imagine the worst roller coaster that Dorita's imagined, what shape it would take.

So we see a montage of it all going sour and everything over the past few months.

I would imagine it would be much scarier actually waking up under the airbag that is PK.

It's like you're waking up every morning like you've been in a crash, you know, at least a roller coaster.

You can feel free.

It's just all a matter of perspective.

Yeah.

So server comes over and PK wants a mocktail.

Do you have a phony negroni?

The server's like, I don't know what that is, but I can make that up.

It is a phony negroni, after all.

So we see flashbacks of all their problems and Dariette being upset and telling Kathy that PK is not, in fact, a good father.

And she's like, well, I have no idea what to expect tonight, but I'll tell you what I do expect.

Two for one calamuris.

But I feel like my eyes are wide open for the first time in a very long time.

All right, babe.

So you went to the ophthalmologist today and got dilated.

Congratulations.

I've been telling you to do that for a while.

I don't want to get cataracts.

I don't want to misinterpret what you mean by your eyes are wide open.

So can you elaborate?

Well, I mean, the last few months, something shifted.

in you yeah well i finally had that bowel movement you eat so many pringus that eventually things get clogged up down there.

Turns out all I needed was a bit of magnesium, babe.

Right now, look,

first things start to go wrong when we spoke about the apartment.

When I said I'm taking the apartment, you know, one of the significant issues in our marriage where you control issue, you know, there was with me, you know, we're separated and then you're dictating where I'm going to live.

I mean, that's, you know, that's in the backdrop of me knowing you're in our house and I'm taking this really small apartment.

Funnily enough, the house isn't being paid for and the apartment is.

I mean, how fair is that?

How fair is that?

And you look, I love PK acting like, oh, wow, poor me.

I have to be in this tiny little apartment while you raise our children and I don't even fucking call them or pay for the house that you're living in, which you're about to be fucking booted out of in a couple of months due to non-payment.

Have fun with that.

Poor PK.

I also love him talking about control issues.

We were the ones who saw you force.

Dorit to name her company Beverly Beach and name all these dresses.

This one's called the Rose.

This one's called the Pringle.

This one's called the combo i mean you know like as far as we can tell you were calling the shots in this relationship and that's what we saw on camera so she's like but we never even had a conversation about the apartment and he's like well i didn't want i didn't want to have the conversation about the apartment she goes but that's my point and he's like but that's my point poor touche

oh god got more points than an actual dorito all right

Never, there's been never better time for a phony Negroni to arrive.

It's getting so tense.

So Dorit's like, well, we clearly have different views.

Unfortunately, my view is a little bit more unpleasant than your view.

But what I would like to know is, what prompted that long email that knocked me off of my feet?

God, people are really having stability issues this couple of weeks on Beverly Hills.

Last week, it was the assistant who lost the feeling in her legs when she saw the pap shot.

This week, Dorit gets knocked over by an email.

I mean, Jesus Christ, get these people some rails in their bathroom.

Falling all over.

I get so weak at the knees, I can hardly breathe.

I lose all control.

It knocks me right off of my knees.

PK.

So PK is like, Dari, do we really want to start discussing

only one part of that email?

No, no, no.

But because it was a summary of how you make me feel and what life would potentially look like if we don't resolve this.

And the reason I asked you to retain a lawyer was in an attempt to try to have a...

sensible conversation because we're not able to communicate, okay?

So bring in some experts so we don't have to listen to your voice and have listened to someone else's voice and then we can get divorced after that.

You know what I'm saying?

There, Dariet.

But I keep telling you that we need to communicate.

I want to communicate.

Like civil people, Piki.

Civil, civil people.

Oh my God.

He's the one telling her to get a lawyer.

Get a lawyer.

How stupid are you, lady?

He's like, I'm not going to be able to do that.

And

I still think that she's trying to save this marriage because she's the only one with the check coming in.

I don't think PK has any money and think there's nothing to fight over.

So she's like, why spend money on a lawyer?

We can't afford a fucking lawyer.

And

the only reason he wants to divorce me is so he can take half of my damn money.

Well, I'm still on this dog and pony show and I'm not going to give it to him.

So I'll just try and win him back.

I'll just keep stacking Pringle's tubes in the house until the smell is so strong that he comes here from Bel Air.

Yeah, I think that's actually a really good theory that she doesn't want to give up her housewives money.

So these giant salads arrive.

PK's like, well, you can have one of these between for the two of us.

you know what I'm saying?

But I'll have two.

So then Dorit's like, well, the email suggested that you'd retained a lawyer and that you were a hundred steps ahead of me.

Did you at any point want a divorce?

And he's like, you can see in his eyes, he's kind of like, well, part of me moving out of the house, move into a small flat.

and emailing you saying get a lawyer says i don't want to have a divorce

and he's just like red faced i mean he looks so hairy the man looks like a bunion i mean he just looks like a bunion sitting there What are you fighting for?

Let him go.

You know?

Yes.

Darit, you know what?

Doreen is just some fucking hot guy.

Like, you know what?

I could see her with like someone who looks like, and this guy's not even my type, but I could see her with someone like Eric Banya or something, like someone that kind of looks, or like, what's his face from The Last of Us?

Like, I can see her with a guy like that.

Not PK.

Come on, Dariet.

Like,

cut the ballasts and live your, have your hot Doreet moment in Los Angeles.

She deserves it for crying out loud.

I don't think that's what she's looking for.

You know, like when she was all young and fresh, she saw PK at a bar and was like, you're married with kids?

Let's do this.

Let's fucking do this.

Yeah, well, she got a human s'mores, basically.

So Dorit's like, so you had retained a lawyer and you were 100 steps.

Like I said before, I already said all this part.

It's like, look, look, the reality is we have to co-parent and we have to keep it loving and kind and we have to work on a relationship and make ourselves and we have to get back to that, you know?

Because guess what?

You're my best fucking mate and I'm going to take you for everything you have in this divorce.

Did I say that part out loud?

Sorry, I meant to say we need to find a friendship again so that way I can get more money out of you when we do get divorced.

All right, you're dealing with that.

And she is doing this thing.

She's just looking at him.

She's like, but tell me, Piquet, tell me.

Do you have in your mind, Dorit and I are going to work through things, but divorce?

is divorce there and he's like i don't know i'll have to talk to my divorce attorney about how to answer that oh you don't know so i don't know whether it's in our future i don't know if i can afford it frankly all right

i'm looking through legal zoom it's exhausting to read honestly but i've watched a lot of law and orders and here's what i have to say to you tong tong

I don't feel in my heart I want a divorce, but I'm not the one in control.

And gee, truthfully, PK is calling the shots.

They keep on accusing each each other of being the one in control.

It's some weird game they're playing.

I think it's like to position themselves for this battle that they're about to go into.

Yes, it's because they're going to both be positioning themselves as the victim in this divorce.

So they're trying to get on camera that they're really the victim of the other one in here.

And the real victims are all the people that you don't pay.

Okay, pay your bills.

So then they leave.

They've worked out nothing.

Darise pissed.

So she's trying to do this thing where she's kind of facing her back to PK, like, I'm not talking to you anymore.

Well, that's what he wants so they're in kind of a no-win situation here but you married PK so

now let's go to Bose's house so Bose is setting a table because tonight she's having her first ever dinner with Keely and her daughter bump bum bum Lel

So

she's setting it up and everything

and she like bonks her glass.

That's the sound of crystal.

And so Keely comes over and sits down for dinner and everything.

And,

you know, Lel and Keely have really only been around each other in the company of other people.

And we've never had one-on-one time.

So now it's going to be the Keely and Lel show.

So yeah, things are moving quickly with Keely and I.

You know, we're speed of light.

And Lal's back there in the caboose.

So I need her to come along the journey and get to know Keely a bit better.

Don't ask for peanuts.

People might be allergic.

So

he brings her flowers and she's so sweet.

I mean, this girl is like raised right.

She's a very nice girl.

So they sit down and start eating,

and she just starts grilling the guys.

She's like, So, are you guys going to move in together before you get married and have babies?

When are you going to have babies?

When are you moving in?

Do I have to move to San Diego?

I don't want to move to San Diego.

You should move here.

Is there any reason you haven't moved here?

Do you have a 401k?

Do you have a cash balance plan?

Great mutual funds.

Great rocks.

How do you feel about bonds?

Okay, mutual funds.

So

she's just asking all the questions.

And he's basically, you know, he's he answers nicely and everything.

He's like, I just want you to be happy.

And I want, you know, want you and your mom to have conversations if we're ever to move in, if we're ever to do anything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

His answers are not very good to me because Leo's like, okay, this is a hard question.

When are you going to get married and have a kid?

And he's like, well,

your mom embodies the essence of somebody who would instill great values.

How about that?

No?

no, no, sir.

It's not it.

And they're nodding, like, oh my God, this guy's so good at this.

No.

Well, he does say that, like, you know, she asks, would you, would you move up here or would we have to move down there?

And he does say he would come up to LA.

So I think that is, that's nice because, uh, not nice, like, not like, oh, what a, what kind, what kindness.

But we're so used to assholes on Bravo that I was shocked that it was a guy not saying, like, well, obviously have to move down to San Diego.

I was like, what?

Wait a second.

There's someone who's courting someone on Bravo who's actually like willing to make concessions for the woman.

That's so shocking.

So, um, yeah.

So, basically, it's, it's a nice scene, uh, with the three of them.

So, now we go to Kyle's house, and Kyle is with Porsche in the kitchen.

And uh, Kyle's like, I feel so tired right now.

The dogs woke me up so early.

I was like, you know, I can't, I can't with these dogs.

They woke her up at five in the morning.

Stop feeding them kombucha.

She's like, well, I had to get to the kombucha supply.

I'm going out of town.

I'm going to be gone five days.

Kombucha doesn't last.

So Porsche's like, okay, what time do they wake you up?

She's like, five in the morning.

Can you believe it?

She's like, that's brutal.

So dad comes over and Porsche's like, well, I've been getting tired at like nine and waking up at eight because you're up.

Like, I'm still on Europe time.

Bones, your dad.

You know, there's like a large portion of adults who are like, is that what that's called?

Europe time?

I thought that

I thought that was being over 40 time.

So Mauricio walks in.

I was like, hey, how's everyone?

Oh, my God.

The dog got so big.

What?

The dog got so big.

All they talk about now are the dogs.

They can't talk about anything else.

It's all too much of a trigger issue.

Yeah.

So she's like, dad, you're hot.

Like, why are you so hot, dad?

Like, oh,

look, it's, I haven't seen you, baby.

Oh, sorry.

I suppose.

He's like, oh, I haven't seen you, baby.

Leah, look at you.

Wow, look at you.

Oh, wow, Kyle.

Hello, Kyle.

How are you, Kyle?

She's like, oh, I'm good.

How are you?

I'm really like, hold on.

I'm working on my forehead veins here.

I'm going to cry.

I'm going to cry.

Like, I don't know what this relationship is that Mauricio has with this like young skank, but like, I don't know if it's just like a passing thing or a serious thing.

I know how women are.

Oh, really?

Thanks.

That's so shitty.

So Kyle is like, so how are you?

Are they the cool thing to like shoot music videos with like basically making out with you while you're married to some other guy than like coming to your friend's memorial and kind of making out with you on camera while you're married?

That kind?

I mean, come on, give me a fucking break.

Stop shaming the fucking women in this.

This is Mauricio.

He's making out with someone because you started it.

Cut the crap, lady.

But now,

on the other hand, Mauricio is becoming like a really embarrassing white lotus character.

He's like, oh yeah, like, it was great.

Like, I went out there and like last bars and like sound healing and spiritual healing.

And I got all these cool beads that I'm wearing now.

And like, I only partied like five nights out of 25 nights.

I'm like, I don't know.

They're all white Lotus characters on this show.

What'd you say?

Aren't they all white Lotus characters on this show?

I mean, yeah, but something about him.

Something about him being...

He's just...

He is such a...

He is such a stereotypical midlife crisis guy although i mean like again the crisis was was foisted on him to some degree but like the just all the necklaces and the bracelets and partying and mikonos and going to sound baths and like i'm just like dude

i don't know it just is so ridiculous to me i don't know why we're talking about the difference between him and kyle who's all of a sudden like i'm getting tattoos now dating a young country star and like and dming kesha to hang out you know so it's like yeah well i'm not saying that it's mutually exclusive like it's not, it's not a zero-sum game just because he's going through midlife crisis, she can't.

They're both going through it for sure,

but I just think that like his is his is just so cheesy.

He just is having a very cheesy midlife crisis that's just kind of like, oh, could you just be more original in your midlife crisis?

Do something interesting, like open up an ice cream shop or something.

Throw it up a sound bath of meek and else.

Come on.

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So we go back to the caveat and caftan's party, and Faye Resnick is like, Um, do you know that Mo is trying to get PK and my husband to go to San Trope?

I mean, now he wants to drag my husband into a single lifestyle.

I don't think so.

Um, so uh, Mauricio is like having some hummus now, and Kyle's like, this is very awkward because we both know what we are both thinking, which is,

gosh, those necklaces are distracting.

It's like, so, uh,

yeah, that's it.

That's like what I'm doing.

Sound baths and Mika knows.

It's pretty cool.

Nothing else really happened there.

So let me just open some cabinets and close them for a little bit until hopefully you leave the room.

I guess you're not leaving the room.

You keep the kombucha.

Like, I don't even know what's up or down anymore in here.

She's like, sorry, the dogs drank it.

That's why they're a little hyper.

Kyle's like, I feel like he's distracting himself, so he doesn't have to deal with me.

And we just see him just opening things and like looking looking for stuff.

And like, do you have that

lemon juicer?

You're not even holding a lemon.

I know.

I just want to hear what it sounds like when you clack it open and closed.

I want to put my hand in it to distract me from the pain that is this scene.

He's like, well, it was an awkward trip because, you know, it's the first time I go without the family.

And I wanted to do it, you know?

I wanted to go alone, you know, take advantage, see what it looks like, you know, going around without making decisions about what we're going to do that day.

I was like, ooh, slam on Kyle.

He's like, yeah, you know how fring it was to go somewhere and not have a fucking to-do list.

He's like, yeah, I just wanted to go somewhere and see what it would be like

to be on vacation.

And then if someone sees a bee, that it does not become an entire meltdown.

That has to be dealt with for the rest of the day.

Okay, all right.

All right.

You're not digging digs at me.

So then he stirs his coffee.

He's just like.

Dong, dong, dong, dong, dung.

He's like clinking the coffee cup.

Click, click, clink, clink.

Okay, Settle down, Catherine Keener.

It was so loud.

He's like, are you trying to hypnotize Kyle away?

He's like, no, I'm just trying to click the cup.

The dog starts speaking English.

He's like, can I please be taken out of the house?

I'm like, God, what happened to you?

Clink, clink.

Okay, thank God he's back to normal.

So he's like, well, I love the dog's goal movie.

He's like, please,

please.

It's the feel-good movie of the year for that dog.

Get out.

It's like, I laughed, I cried.

It was better than cats.

That has so many layers for me.

So then Mo is like, So, uh, obviously, you know, and Mikonos, uh, I got photographed, you know, in the airport.

And, uh, you know, I would never want to do anything on purpose that would hurt you or the kids, honey.

Uh, just, you know, it's just, you know, when you see a hot girl, you just have to go for it, you know.

And I really am sorry for you, you know, hurting you.

And I never want to hurt you on purpose.

She's like, yeah, I know you would never want to do that on purpose.

And I know you did not know your pictures were being taken.

I didn't know that the other person didn't know that.

But either way, it's just like really hard to see.

I think another reason Kyle is so suspicious is because Kyle is the woman who's getting pictures

secretly taken of her.

And Morgan's probably like, why are these pictures always showing up?

Nobody ever follows me.

And Kyle's like, it's because I'm so famous.

It's like crazy.

I mean, they just happen to be outside of the dry cleaners.

Nuts.

Nuts.

I know.

I know.

This just makes me think of Ladies of London when the group went to Denmark to see Caroline Fleming's life in Denmark.

And there was like a single paparazzo that was there that she clearly had called.

I was just like following them around.

She's like, Ladies, I'm so sorry for the paparazzi.

I really am so terribly sorry for this.

It's absolutely terrible that they are just following us around, plaguing us.

I really am so sorry, everyone.

What a terrible inconvenience.

Well, you know, the photos really did say he's moving on, you know, like you can live in this la-la land for as long as you want.

But it was a hammer on my head saying, hello, Kyle, he's moved on.

It's okay.

You're both entitled to live your lives.

Oh, come here, love me.

Don't cry.

Come on, love me.

All right.

Now we know what we said.

No more singing La La Land in the house.

I'm really getting sick of those songs, okay?

So he's like, just she's like, I just, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

He's like, you know what I think about like, how did we get here?

Like, if we care about each other so much, how did we allow this to happen?

Everything we built, this is the rug being ripped out from under your feet.

And I did not expect my life to go in this direction.

So they're crying in each other's arms, which is sad because, regardless of how it happened, they were together for a really long time.

And it really does suck.

So she's like, see, these photos, I think it makes it pretty clear that this is permanent.

And I don't think it's going to be easy to come back from that.

They're done.

Donezo.

So then we go, I don't, I still don't believe they're done.

I don't know.

I don't believe it.

Part of me just doesn't believe any of this.

So then we go, but you know, I never do.

I told you that.

I never think people are going to get divorced.

It's like War of the Roses.

And I'm like, they're going to, surely Catherine or Kathleen Turner is going to get back together with Michael Douglas.

I mean, they just have so much in common.

It didn't work out.

I mean, I could definitely see these two getting back together because, again, they're both going through a midlife crisis.

They got married when they were really young.

They're kind of having a moment.

The kids, kids are all grown up.

So they're sort of dealing with the reality of their situation.

And again, I do really think, like, you know, as much as we talk about like this Morgan and Kyle situation, I do think that there was something, I feel like Mauricia was not emotionally available to Kyle when she was dealing with her friend's death.

I really feel like that was probably something that was going on there.

So I just imagine there was a lot of turmoil in that relationship.

But I can also, I don't, I also think there is a chance that once they sort of go through this, their mutual midlife crisis, there is a chance that they could come back together.

But honestly, the degree that I care about whether or not they get back together, very low.

I really don't care if they get back together.

Yeah, me too.

So now everybody's packing to go to St.

Lucia.

And Avi is spinning her sweating around on a swivel chair.

And he's like, here we go, St.

Lucia.

And then we go to Dorit.

And Darit's like, all right, Jeeky, I need to show you a couple of options.

And then we cut to Jagger and he's got his finger on his cheek, like,

show me the option of what you're going to wear and so she shows him something and he's like oh not mature enough she's like it's pacariboni like pacaronono pacer no no no man terrible she's raising a monster she's she's raised a monster look at that kid he's like yes

yes

So then Kyle is packing with her assistant friend Jen and Kyle's like, okay, I'm going to bring you both of my options.

Whatever.

Could you also bring me a cane?

Because I am losing sensation in my legs.

I die for these looks.

I'm gonna flop over.

Oh my god, I'm on the ground.

And I, you know what?

I'm going, I, I, I, I don't feel anything anymore.

The only thing I feel is just pure joy at seeing what you've made there.

Amazing.

Then we go to Jennifer Tilley's, and she's putting on a hat that's all feathers and it's like a big feather wreath, I guess, on her head.

And she's like, oh, this hat is just so fabulous.

I can't wait to wear this in St.

Lucia Black Lace Bravo.

There you are, Uncle June.

And then Erica Jane is trying on things.

She's like, look at these hosher.

That's cute.

Oh, you know, we want to be comfortable when we go and do activewear.

So get me that most fuggy activewear you can find.

And

Laia brings out some like jorts and she goes, and this is even Marjo.

I was like, oh, that's known as regular for me.

And then we go to Bose's home and Bose is packing with Nico, her adorable little assistant, and she's like, well, did you know that this is the only country in the world that is named after a woman?

And he's like, oh my God, I love that.

What's her name?

Lucia?

Yes.

Esther, what do you think her name is?

Jesus Christ.

If you weren't so good with the glue gun, you'd be out of here.

I'm going to have you bedazzle an atlas while I'm gone.

So the women come to the airport.

The housewives airport arrival thing.

And Darique comes in a trench coat.

And Kathy's like, we're not going to New York,

idiot.

This is the only thing that Jaggie would approve, so I just had to wear it till we get out of his line of sight.

So then, um, everyone's showing up.

It's cool because they're like in clearly, they're in like the celebrity holding area, you know, because they go to the special entrance.

But I think they all get to, I think they get to go to a special room for celebrities.

That way, they don't have to deal with the regular folk for as long as possible.

And so, um, everyone, like, where they're in two different groups, because first we have one group, the Kathy and Dariet group, they fly off first, and then the rest is showing up at night.

And Jennifer Tilly's like, who's the red eye?

So they all are saying, like, oh my God, you look right.

You look right.

You look right.

You look right.

And Kyle's saying, like, she's just so happy to escape the paparazzi that are photographing Mauricio and she can just enjoy herself.

But weren't the pops in out of the country?

Or were they at LAX?

Weren't they at the airport in not LA?

Nico.

I thought it was in Greece.

It was the Greek airport that they were at.

But whatever.

Kyle's going with it.

It's just so hard to escape the paparazzi.

And Jennifer Tilly is pulling out a small Hermes bag that's like really old and leathery and falling apart and stuff.

She can't get the zipper open.

And she's like, yeah, well, I met this woman.

She was a princess.

And she sold me a birkin bag.

So look at this.

Kyle, Kyle's eyes are doing like, you know, like in Looney Tunes where

they come out and they point around.

They look around the room like little cones she's just staring at this vintage Hermes bag she's like

like saliva is pooling on the floor beneath their shoes

so that's perfect

yeah

yeah oh that is stunningly beautiful this bridge look at this Hermes crocodile vintage it's divine I need one of those boxes in my wives but I think there's something like when Kyle pines for something and Erica pines for something, there's like a difference.

Erica pines like, oh God, I used to be rich.

God, I'd love to have that.

Could you please spare some Hermes for a pauper in the street, please?

You know, whereas Kyle's like,

I need this.

If I don't have this,

why am I even here?

Why am I even on this TV show?

Like, her entire like identity seems to ride on having these other things that other people have because she's so competitive.

And she's like, if she sees that Jennifer Tilly just casually has this super rare vintage thing that she got from a princess.

Kyle's like, well,

who do I know?

Who's royal?

Who can give me something?

I need something.

I need something right now.

It's just great watching her spiral.

I guess that's what it is.

She spirals, whereas Erica just pines.

Yeah, Erica is a girl standing outside of the store looking in at things that she could one day have.

You know, she's dreaming.

Whereas Kyle's like running around from clerk to clerk, like, get me that of your fire and get me out of your fire.

That's a much better and more succinct way of saying what I just tried to explain.

Sometimes I have to talk it through to get to where I need to

get to what I'm trying to actually say.

So Erica tells Kyle, oh my God, you are way too rich to carry that ugly luggage.

I can't take it, Kyle.

She's like, call me what I want.

I'm sensible spice.

I'm still using spice girl references.

Sensible spice.

That's the most Kyle Richards naming of a spice, spice girl of all time.

Sensible space.

Going back to

her reunion performance where she's like, wow, what are you, angry spice?

So, yeah, now they get on the plane and they fly and it's really fun.

And

they're here.

They're in St.

Lucia.

So here we are.

So they get the whole people out there and, you know, all of the people playing drums and dancing around and giving them big drinks.

And

we get to see their rooms and they're super pretty.

And And Jennifer Tilly's like, wow, how cute.

There's drum people out there.

And there are, you know.

But it's kind of one of those things where you just want to put your shit down, but now you have to watch a show.

It's like, okay.

Right.

Yeah.

Wrap it up.

I'm glad to

not be a real housewife for that because

I don't like welcome speeches.

I'm like, again, it's like, I need to use the toilet.

I don't want to listen to steel toilets.

Can we steal drums?

Can I poop in your steel drum?

Okay.

Can I use that?

I don't get a steel drum.

Do you have a tissue?

Because this button needs a bidet at the moment.

So

welcome to the Wind Jammer.

So they're there.

By the way, they got like monogrammed pillowcases.

That was very impressive.

Did you see that?

I sure did.

So they got those.

They love them.

And then

they've watched a steel band, steel drum band of stuff.

And so the room announcements are here.

Eric and Dorit, here.

Carl Kathy, you're in the villa together.

And then Sutton, Garcel, and Jen.

And she's like, um, wait a minute.

I have to sleep in the same bed as Sutton.

Oh, God.

I've traveled with Sutton before.

I don't think we've ever shared a bed.

But I had, however,

slept next to her on a plane.

And she wakes up like this.

So, yeah, so Erica goes into her room and she's like, well, this is stunning.

This is, maybe Bulls is giving Kathy a run for her money.

And then the other people go to their villa, and Jennifer's like, Oh, do we have to climb stairs?

Oh, to get to the villa.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, this is too much for me.

So they go up the stairs and everything.

So they go into their villa and everything, which is, of course, gorgeous.

They've got an infinity pool.

You can see the ocean.

And then they all start like gallivanting outside and sending and like taking in the views.

And Kathy, we see this like extended montage of Kathy slowly unloading an infinite number of jars and bottles onto her bathroom counter very slowly and very deliberately.

Putting her hair in the sink.

She's like bags of hair, you know,

sperm whale sperm for her face.

She's kind of like everything in there, baby stem cells and shit.

And now people start to gossip.

Don't, don't, don't.

But first, Jennifer Tilley's candy has spilled all over her suitcase.

And she's like, oh no, my candy came apart.

Disaster.

I can still eat it, right?

I panick.

The idea of being without my candy for the next three or four days is actually very triggering for me.

Like, I know I'm going to need to eat this candy at three in the morning, and after I've had one of our terrifying dinners.

What candy was that?

I didn't even recognize that.

They're the shape of Mike and Iink's, but they're like

solid Christmas colors instead of July's looking.

What are they?

Not Christmas.

It looked like something you'd get at a rave in like 1997.

I have no idea.

Good.

Yeah, I think they were like

what's the one that starts with good?

Good and plenty.

Good and plenty.

Good and plenty.

Oh, God, I have to get it.

I think there was something like that.

I'm sure that she could find them on Sundays.

They're good and plenties, but good and plenties are white and pink.

Well, they've probably got multiple colored ones, right?

Plus, no, like how MMs, you can go to the M ⁇ M store.

Listen, if you're rich like Jennifer Chilly, you're just like, hello, good and plenty people.

Hi, this is Jennifer Tilly calling.

I was wondering, could I get my own custom colors for Good and Plenties?

I just really like the way they look, and it just helps me ignore the fact that Sutton's going to be waking up in the middle of the night going,

anyway.

Thank you so much.

Wow.

These, are these good?

Good and plenties?

I've never really dipped into the good and plenty pool.

Should I?

Maybe I will.

I love them.

I can.

I mean, I haven't had good and plenty in like 30 years.

I mean, they would sort of like wind up in your Halloween haul, and you're like, well, done with all the Snickers and all the good stuff.

So it's time to try the Good and Plenties.

Yeah.

It's like Smarties.

You know, there's like that whole genre of these generic,

forgettable candies.

people love them i mean good and plenty people still buy them there's they're still you know you can still get them very easily they're looking for drugs so back to sutton and garcel and jennifer sutton's like well uh have i said hello to tariq did anybody see that i don't i don't remember if i did and garcel's like well i didn't see it but i wasn't with you and she goes well i'm just i'm feeling some weird vibes weird very weird gee i can't imagine why sutton last time you saw her you called her pourite

in front of the entire crew of people.

Why is it awkward?

So

yeah.

I know, seriously.

So Sun's like, I think that she just digs at me pretty hard.

And Garcelle's like, okay, well, we're back.

I can see your eyes.

Son's got like her eyes have become very feline.

And she's just like, she's doing that look on her face.

Like,

okay,

I've now dealt with my mother for over two weeks.

And now I'm going to repurpose that fury.

And I'm going to aim it at Dorit.

She oversecates her eyes.

She's like, oh, there's those eyes.

So Garcelle's like, well, I'm getting weird vibes from Dorit.

Oh, uh-oh.

So then Dorit, we go to Dorit's room and she's like, well, I want to enjoy the trip, you guys.

I don't just want to sit around with things feestering.

And we haven't said one, two words to one another, but I know she's going to come in with a wrath.

And then I know when she's coming in, not in a wrath.

And Baros is like, well, how's she coming in today?

She goes, oh, she's coming in like, oh, it might have been a bad girl

which is very dere which is very sudden you know sudden ribs you a new one and the next day she's like why

why can't we just be friends i don't understand aren't we sisters

yeah so then um back in the other villa sudden is talking to garcel and jennifer and and darit about darit and sudden's like well here's the thing i'm watching to ret with kyle and dorit's acting like they're best friends again yeah but the forgiveness factor is so easy between them well that and you know they they always had that and i'm sure that they can say we have that too in fact they did say that she said i have rose-tinted glasses when it comes to you so jennifer's like well go figure also they're actual friends you're not friends with

when

why would why would you get the same forgiveness you're not the same you hate each other

Yeah, so Jennifer's like, you know, I like all the girls, but I have to say it's a clicky group, and it's tough to crack.

I mean, myself as a newcomer, as an Oscar nominee, it's a difficult difficult group to crack and that's all I'm saying.

And I had some sort of weird expectation that we'd be all gonna be walking along and skipping and holding hands and singing and no, that didn't really quite happen between us.

You know, I like everyone to like me and I really thought, oh, these girls all hang out together.

We're gonna have sleep over.

But they have history and it's a little clicky, you know.

I mean, it's like when I was a kid in high school, I always wanted to be a popular girl, but I was just that girl with dirty hair who didn't take showers very much.

And just, you know, I probably shouldn't say that part.

Now I'm richer than all of them combined.

So, um,

so Jennifer's like, so son's now tearing up.

She's like, what's wrong, Satin?

Did you lose your candy also?

And she's like, no, it's just that it's been, it's just been a long, long row with these girls and the only person that truly supports me is garcel and even kyle won't say come on this is enough it's always like you too you too it's like never drink come on it's just like too much

yeah so garcel's like well that's the million dollar question is why does sutton continue to stand up for kyle when kyle doesn't always stand up for her i don't know i don't know why please ask that to kyle They do all the time, but it's not true.

Sutton doesn't always stand up for Kyle.

Meanwhile, Sutton's planning with Garcel on how to bring up Morgan stuff to Kyle.

So I don't think that Sutton's always standing up for Kyle.

That's not true.

So she's like, I just want them to lack me so much.

And I just can't get them to the poor motherfuckers.

I could buy and sell each one of those bitches.

So then 24 hours later, we see them all fighting in the ocean.

But you can't be the one who can give it and not be able to take it.

You pose as a friend, and oftentimes, you work as an enemy.

This is not going to be a Saturn trial.

She's like, oh, no, you're being ridiculous, Sutton.

And it's like, what do you want from me?

What do you want from me?

And that's the episode.

It's all I need.

Little Sutton breakdown.

Yay.

Yay.

Well, that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, everybody.

We'll see you in Cincinnati, Minneapolis, and Toronto this weekend.

Get your tickets over at watchwhatcrappins.com for traders' recaps and airport snaps and all that good stuff.

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