#2760 RHOBH S1415 Part One: Love Papped

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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on ye old broths.

I'm Ronnie.

That's the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker over there on the other screen.

Hello, Ben.

Hi, Ronnie.

How's it going?

Great.

How you doing today?

Great.

It's like a drizzly, rainy day here in LA, which is so fun and relaxing.

I went and got myself a bagel and a coffee, and I'm just having a very chill morning.

What's going on with you?

It's not drizzly at all.

It's beautiful over here in Texas.

Yeah, I can see.

Just

freedoms, but hey, the sun's out.

So I guess that's all that really matters at the end of the day.

Everyone, welcome to the show.

The truly guns are out.

Yeah.

Yes.

We are.

I'm going to shoot the sun.

Some can't decide what is going to be on his passport.

I'm going to shoot it.

Everybody, welcome to the show.

We are on tour.

We're going out again tomorrow.

We're so excited.

Seriously, though, because we're going to have some fun times.

We're going to be in Cincinnati where we will be recapping Summerhausen.

And then after Cincinnati, guess where we're gonna go?

Minneapolis.

And there we're gonna recap Southern Jam.

And in Toronto, we're gonna be covering the classic Real Housewives of New York episode December, Berkshires County.

I cook, I clean, I navigate night.

That's season eight, episode nine, for any of those of you following along.

So we're excited to see you guys over there.

Get your tickets at watchwhatcrappins.com.

We're also going to be after that in Atlanta, Washington, Philly, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas.

We're going to add a couple more dates.

So check back over at watchwhatcrappins.com for tickets and links.

Also, if you want videos or traders' recaps or now, next week we're going to be moving into other recaps of other things.

Probably next week, we're going to be having airport snaps, which is where we go to airports and judge the fuck out of people sitting in a corner while we record on our iPhones.

So probably the next couple of weeks, we'll have some good old-fashioned airport snaps over on our Patreon.

And that's also where you get the the videos which we're on right now if you want videos and you don't want to pay for patreon you can get them for a week you can get them a week later for free over at yuto ba

okay

nailed it yeah you did a great job suck that landing ow it was immersive i've got my legs crossed on this like little ottoman thing i got from the homo goods and i really i'm i don't know i'm too old to maybe cross my legs like that how am i angel just pull a muscle on your ottoman like tanya harding to myself Oh, no, not with the ottoman.

Or now there's a new Tanya Harding, that girl who beat somebody over the head with a baton.

Did you read that?

Did not read that.

Who was that?

Is she on Bravo?

No, she should be.

I hope she's on Bravo soon.

They were running.

She's, I guess, a track person and she had her baton and then someone was passing her and she bonked her on the head with her baton.

Good for her.

And now she's crying.

Like, why isn't anybody thinking about how I feel?

Could you bonk somebody on the head with a baton?

Yeah, it's not part of the relay race.

We look forward to seeing you on dancing with the stars

yeah

bonk Chris on the knees or whatever get it get it but I feel bad for the girl because she didn't even get her own like Tanya Harding name I still don't know her name everybody just calls her the new Tanya Harding and I'm like that's so sad I mean she even upped her game she bonked somebody on the head with a baton that's better damn that sucks like if you're

man you know Even Hawktua got her own name it doesn't even make sense but like

this person can't even what'd you say?

That makes sense.

I mean, it makes sense, but I'm saying like as a name, like her name is Hawk Tua.

At least this girl could be known as Batonarella.

Yeah, give her something.

She earned it.

Come on, we could do it.

Like

the lift is so low.

Like we were so lazy with naming Hawktua that at the very least we can give this aggressive relay racer some sort of fun moniker.

That's what I'm saying.

Let's I'm i'm advocating i agree yeah yeah i agree um batonarella i mean i don't know okay so here we are with uh speaking of bonking over the head people over the heads for no reason let's go on to a housewives recap today is real housewives of beverly hills season 14 episode 15 14 15

um trouble in paradise sequences

um by the way just before we start this dereette was on watch what happens live last night with gabby

and dylan

and I don't care I still can't hate Dylan I think he's so cute like I don't care I didn't like him last scene of the traders but he's so cute and nice like I still like him and um Dorit was so depressed Dorit is just miserable and I guess I don't blame her like she's poor now like for real and PK won't speak to her and stuff and she can't I guess afford her stylist because she was dressed kind of like a Christmas present I don't know it was really sad she was very sad

Well, you know, you have her,

you know, you've got, you've got some people who are able to sniff out some traitors, and you have someone

who was married to one for a long time and still didn't even realize.

So yeah, I'd be depressed too.

You're like, it could have been me.

But we love that Dylan Nefron.

And by the way, his girlfriend is a big Bravo fan, apparently.

I read that in like one of the many articles that's going around.

And she's a big Bravo fan.

So we love that he supports Bravo indirectly.

I guess that she told him to ally with Sierra.

I think, I think I read that fleeting headline.

Of course, I couldn't really be bothered to read much more than that because I'm like, you know, there's nothing else I really need to know.

I just need to look at Dylan, see his abs, see his sweet smile, and try to push down and repress the knowledge that he hates showers.

And then I'm fine.

Yeah.

So let's start with Real Housewives of Beaverly Heels.

It's a big home visit episode, which I liked.

Everyone goes to each other's house and stuff.

So we're at Erica's house, and Dariet comes, and she's like, oh,

Euka!

Euka, did you knock down walls?

You've got trees in your home.

So many boulders.

It's

paper to read.

Ew, that's so nice.

You know, Erica really, I feel like she shot her design load because we haven't even gone on the vacation yet, at least by

this point in the episode.

And she's already wrapped up her entire episode, entire storyline for the season.

It's like, did someone not tell her that there's still like four more episodes to go?

So

unless the show ends on vacation.

In fact, that's probably what it is.

This is going to be another season that ends on vacation, which is now becoming a more frequent thing.

Because if it weren't ending on vacation, I feel like we would have had a wrap-up.

of the design thing after vacation.

But they wrap, this is honestly the stupidest theory that I could be launching right now.

Guys, let's stop the entire podcast to debate

where the season's going to end.

What could have happened?

Maybe there was a lot of stuff that was cut out of you know our favorite guy who was like irika i need to display with you should we do palm trees or bushes i'm thinking maybe just bush i ain't doing no bush i haven't done bush since the 90s palm trees only and then there's like a big fight and stuff takes place in a fresh and easy

I got you some wallpaper that's completely made of Nepalese yak penis.

Enjoy.

Um

yeah, so uh my theory is that this season will end on vacation based on the fact that they wrapped up Erica's interior design journey pre-vacation.

That is my theory.

And if I'm wrong, then

I will make amends to the audience.

Okay.

Well, everybody, write that down in a notebook somewhere.

Please do.

Back and check.

Please.

Please hold me accountable.

So, yeah, so Darique comes over, makes a lot of her

noises.

Someone sent me an interview.

No, no, it was like one of the after shows.

She and Bose.

And Bose, who also, Bose makes her adorable little noises too.

She made an amazing one this episode that I rewound three times because it sounded like she was literally a video game character getting

a one-up.

Yeah.

She does

need little sound effects for the Bose arsenal.

I know.

I think I'm going to have to start.

I'm going to have to start recording those because the one from this week was sensational.

She did like a gooby-goo one when she was talking to Kyle.

She went,

you know, that's what, that's what, that was the one.

She goes,

because she like leaned forward.

So, no, but Doreet and Bose were doing an after-show, and Bose was talking, and Darit was just like chiming in with her weird, like, dolphin noises.

Bose was like, and then I went with Keely and we went and we got McDonald's one time, and we got a happy meal.

And they said, You looked like a happy couple.

And she's in the background, you just hear Derek going,

Piquet won't even call me back.

Just the sound effects ladies together in an interview.

She, yeah, it's like you know when a, you know, when a police car has to get through traffic, so it does like a little baby thing to be like, oh, blue,

yeah.

Um, and

um,

so Erica lights a candle the second she comes over to the house.

I think Erica's house smells like farts.

There, I said it because I don't trust anybody who lights a candle the second I come over.

You know,

Open a window, fart outside, you know, like we do in my house.

Unless it's Hanukkah.

Unless you're what?

Unless it's Hanukkah, naturally.

You can't open windows at Hanukkah?

Is that a thing?

No, I'm saying Hanukkah is a big candle lighting holiday for my people.

Oh, I'm like, wow.

You guys have a lot of laws.

I know.

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised.

Well, actually, no, we as a Jewish people on Passover, we actually open full-fledged doors for elijah to come in so like like we are definitely how's he supposed to knock what's he's supposed to knock on the open door elijah's whole thing is knocking right

elijah i don't elijah has a real sense of propriety uh the seder and just comes in

the other thing Growing up, I had a cat named Elijah.

And so, and Elijah was an outdoor cat.

And for some reason, Elijah was a, Elijah was a she, but her name was Elijah.

And, And,

of course, on Passover, the biggest gag we do every year, we'd open the door for Elijah, and then Elijah the cat would walk in, and everyone would go, oh, it's Elijah.

It's funny.

God, I love a visual gag.

I had a roommate in New York who changed her name to Elijah.

Like, she had another name, but she's like, I'm going to go by Elijah now.

And we're like, okay.

And so, whenever she would come home and forget her keys, we would make her sit there and knock.

We're like, well, you shouldn't have changed your name.

What if it was a vampire?

names have meanings okay don't vamp don't vampires have to knock before they come in it's not like invited in if you're a vampire which is so funny like you're gonna literally suck someone's blood and kill them but like suddenly you're like but i need i need to follow manners you don't have to be invited to murder me just to come in just to come in i would like to murder you but i do have certain lines like murder is okay but coming in uninvited not okay yeah i respect the space i respect your personal space before i murder you

i brought a gift so that way you could invite me in.

No?

Okay.

So Erica is like, Would you like some water?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You started with a fart candle and now you're leading up to water.

Why even come to Erica's house?

Like, what's here?

Just wallpaper.

It's all a lot of money.

She spent a lot in that wallpaper, a lot of money on that wallpaper in Martin Lawrence Billard.

Okay.

Apparently.

It's just waterproof now.

So Dorita just walks through, squealing and squeaking and pretending she's not in a room as big as her closet.

And

so she's like, well, I don't know.

The last time I saw irika disheppy it's like she's radiating happiness the house is incredible juju transformation it's literally perfect for her it looks like she's sleeping outside which she probably will be one day so perfect planning

well i got her some coffee cake and some cookies oh

you're so sweet i won't eat any of those so then bose shows up and like i take back what i said about the water you're giving me cookie and coffee cake okay i take it back fart candle

i really wanted to know where the coffee cake and the cookies were from because

you think it's erica i was about to say erica has a lot of options in her neighborhood and i was like ready to judge i was like trying to see what the box was i was like you know i want to see what bakery she's pulling from because i will have a lot to say depending on her choices this could be a redemption moment for her but it could also be it could it could go wrong real quick you mean which gala tari because you know that shit was food for less from western okay by the way miss you food for less that's western i know it's gone it is

oh yeah that's it's it's been bulldozed and it's turning into a whole big tall thing oh

and the mcdonald's gone too that was right there that's used to be where i would reliably get a mcflurry yeah

wow because you know those are usually broken yeah they're they're always broken uh now they're dead so um

you know bose comes in and she's like oh she just kind of looks around and then she she doesn't really say much about the house.

She's just like, well, this is not necessarily a housewarming gift.

This is a St.

Lucia gift.

TM.

I've trademarked St.

Lucia.

And Dorit's like, ah!

So then

we go back, flashback, and to the fashion show.

And Bose was like, I have been inspired by Sutton's call for all of us to bond, so I thought we will all go to St.

Lucia.

So everyone cheers.

And now

Dorit is holding up a peach.

and a peach.

No, she's not holding up a peach.

She's holding up a one-piece bathing suit that is the color of a peach.

But knowing her, she's probably holding up a peach.

Like, I found a sucker ball.

So then Erica.

I could never be a woman.

I looked at that thing.

It looked like,

I mean...

It looked like the pasta that Denise Richards tried to make in the Denise Richards episode after this, where she wouldn't rest the dough.

She's like, just pretend the dough's rested.

And instead of resting it, she just started putting it through the machine.

So it was all these holes.

I mean, I could not,

who looks at that and is like, you know what?

I can wear that.

I just can't do that.

I can't do what I wish.

I mean, someday.

Listen, I support it.

I just don't know who has the vision for that because, like, it honestly did look like the discards from the pap fabric after I cut some, some pieces out to sew something.

And you have all these weird shapes left over.

So they're like, oh, we'll make this into a bathing suit.

Sure.

So Erica's like, well, that is beautiful.

That color is really fucking good.

That's a fucking great color.

Okay, relax, Erica.

It's a peach bikini.

So then Bo's like, literally for every single person, blip.

So Bose says, obviously, these women do not know how to plan a girl's trip without any kind of drama.

And luckily for them, I invented girls' trips and I marketed them at Netflix.

And I believe they deserve a trip that is about fun and the sun and having a good time.

And to that, I say, oh, bloop.

So she's like, I know how to plan a trip.

So anything that goes wrong is these girls' fault.

Not my fault.

So Dorit is just staring at her swimsuit bottoms with her mouth open.

open, and I think she doesn't like them because

they're very big

for some reason.

I don't know.

She's looking at them like she doesn't really like it.

But you know what?

Beggars can't be choosers.

So she's going to take it.

And Bose says,

it's going to be a fashion show out there.

A real fashion show.

And they're all like, oh,

she goes, oh, I didn't even mean to say it that way.

It just came out.

And Doreet's like, oh, sheet, that was funny.

That was a burn, sister girlfriend.

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so then we go to sudden's house and sudden is standing in front of her cutting cutting board slicing a cucumber and saying

these are great cucumbers

God I love which is probably something that gets said a lot in Bel Air

it's that moment where you're just trying to convince yourself not to eat a tub of ice cream like

cucumbers god these are just

so crisp

I love my choice.

I love my choice for right now.

I can eat whatever I choose, and I choose this.

Being thin tastes better than thin tastes.

What is it?

Oh, God, I can't think.

Give me the fucking ice cream.

And she says, how many do I have to eat, Waylon?

Pavlov has nothing on me because Wayland's her dog.

And so Garcelle shows up.

And they say hi and everything.

And Carcell's like, well, I don't know if you saw the rags.

Oh, do you mean the bathing suits that Bose has sent us?

No, I meant the gossip rags.

They're saying that Kathy is fashion roadkill.

And then we see headlines that say, talk about the fashion show where Kathy was on the runway last week and got crashed into by a model.

Well, hey, she got Sutton some press.

I mean, that's probably better than Sutton would have done alone for that weird fashion show.

But, you know, the press does say Roadkill on it.

So I don't really know who's winning.

I don't know that anybody's really winning this one.

And so we we see the headlines and we see wacky clips of Kathy walking out.

And she's in a big butterfly outfit in her.

They cut to her and she's just laughing.

She's like, oh,

I only have the best intentions.

Hilarious.

And she's wearing this butterfly outfit.

And then we cut to Sutton sitting in her kitchen, which has a big, colorful metal butterfly in the background.

What does it mean?

Butterfly kisses.

So Garcel is like, well, did you see Dorit?

Did you talk to her last night?

Well, I said hello.

I mean, we said hello what else do you want from me okay okay that's it that's fine let's just put the dorit and sutton situation on ice oh like your lunch hey stop making those jokes

and this is non-drunk sutton so she's just doesn't understand why anybody would think that she ever had a problem she's like can we just not let's just not talk about it her eyes don't slit into the evil sate satanic look that they get uh so they're gossiping and garcelle's like oh i forgot to tell you when i had dinner with her i said to her what's your beef?

And she's like, you think I have beef with Sutton?

And I said, well, it's not one-sided, is it?

And so then we cut to Erica and Darit's talking about it too.

And she's like, well, I had dinner with Garcia.

And she said, Dorit, stop mentioning the drinking thing.

You know, she's sensitive about it.

And I said, first of all, I welcomed her.

Yeah, but

You still made fun of her drinking thing, which she's sensitive about.

Answer the question.

And you welcomed her after making her sit down there for 40 minutes.

So Erica's like, well, I gotta say something.

Okay, I gotta stop you right now.

I was like, oh, here we all know what's coming next.

You said something about the drinking and her having this reaction about her business.

Well, I'm sorry, because

what about what was done to me?

I was like, oh, God, Erica.

What about me argument once again?

Okay, Erica, call me when Sutton is in like 10 lawsuits about tens of millions of dollars of stolen money and you know throwing people in jail, which they didn't even bring up.

Your lucky asses, lucky they didn't bring up that Marco Marco thing of throwing those guys in jail because you couldn't pay your bill and lied and used one of Tom's best friends to get him thrown in.

And then get so wasted on pills and booze that they're falling over and falling asleep on boats.

Okay, call me when that happens, Erica.

What about me?

What about me, Erica Jane?

Who feels more pain than Erica?

It is the old Jenshaw defense.

What about me?

Yeah,

and I'll tell you who feels more pain than Erica Jane.

Anyone with ears that are subjected to your songs, okay?

It hurts.

That said, I'm really kind of liking Erica this year for the most part.

I feel like Jeannie's Richards.

Yeah.

Erica, like...

Erica going through the ringer of this whole Tom Girardi case has actually made her a better housewife because I think that she has just given herself over to being like, oh, fuck it.

I tried so hard to sort of give, have this whole image and

I got torn to shreds anyway.

So

whatever.

I'll just say whatever I want.

People are always saying, you know, real housewives ruins these women's lives.

I don't know why anybody would go on.

I think sometimes, you know, as the butterfly keeps appearing.

on this show, on this episode, I think a lot of times housewives helps them because it breaks them down.

It just breaks them down and then they come out a better person, you know, because Erica was a true asshole before all of that happened.

And I think she's better, you know, better now.

I do think she's a better housewife now.

I mean, it's actually, I was thinking about this this morning for no good reason, but I was like, you know, Erica is just much more knowable now.

I think she makes more sense now.

I think she was super, super guarded.

She's always been a guarded person, but now she's a little bit more like, oh, fuck you all, you know?

And so like, yeah, she, she has this checkered past, whatever, but it has made her, I think, more emotionally accessible.

Like we understand what her vibe is now.

It's not just like she's quote ice queen, who like you don't see anything in her life.

She's just now like a little bit more, I don't know, I just think there's more layers to her now.

Well, her stick is allowed to be like, I don't give a fuck.

Remember, I don't give a fuck.

That was her.

She gave the most fucking stuff.

Now she doesn't give a fuck.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Before she actually gave more of a fuck than anybody, but now she actually doesn't because she's been traumatized.

So I would just like to send a thank you note to trauma because you know, you really work, Mira.

You're an artist.

You're an artist, trauma.

Yeah.

You're an artist.

You're welcome, Erica.

We, we got you to, like, as we, as in the audience, um, we got you to where you are right now.

So you're welcome.

So she says, okay, look,

Sudden and Garcel cut me no breaks when I was going through the lowest point in my life.

They had no problem talking about these lawsuits and medication and drinking and all these alleged things.

And we see a shot of Sudden confronting, I'm sorry, Sudden and Garcel confronting Erica.

I'm like, well, the difference is though, they

they gave you shit about your drinking because you cursed out Garcel's 15-year-old son.

So Garcell was like, you got to pay attention to your drinking and your medication because you just cursed out my son and that wasn't cool.

So yeah, they had something to say about it.

It wasn't

leaving out a vacuum.

Yeah, they're leaving.

Yeah, it's not like they, not like Erica messed up a Starbucks order and they're like, well, we need to talk about your medications.

This was the repercussion of something that really pissed off Garcel.

Yeah, she's like, those girls cut me no brakes.

You want to talk about cutting brakes?

Look what I did to Tom.

Ask Tom if i cut brakes tom just been cut to tom's car like twirling over and over a cliff i know tom's jaguar going down down the side of the cliff it's so funny that that's part of like the lore isn't that such a it's so funny what makes it into bravo lore and the fact that like the story of

tom crashing over the side of a of a of a cliff a mountainside

in pasadina it's just so bizarre so erica's like oh now all of a sudden something wants sympathy because someone said something about her.

Oh,

um, so now back to presence.

So, oh, yeah.

So, Erica's like, listen, Garcelle consistently defends that behavior.

But you know what?

You guys have consistently covered up for Kyle for so many years.

So, you know, people wind up taking sides sometimes just in reaction to the fact that someone else already has a side, you know?

It's like, oh, you're, you guys are a clique.

So, therefore, I have to be in a click with Sutton.

And because now I'm in a click with Sutton, I am going to defend her because it's like the Jets and the Sharks.

And that's just what you have to do.

Yeah.

So

she's like, well, I had a conversation and Garcel defended herself.

And I said, you look at her behavior with rose-tinted blueses.

And then we go back to Sutton's home and Garcelle's like, I said you can keep joking about the same thing.

And you know, she gets upset about, but it's not going to work out, you know.

And she, and she says, well, she can joke about it.

And she says, well, she can joke about being an alcoholic because she's the alcoholic.

But you can't joke about it.

Wait a minute.

I do not joke about being

alcoholic.

What are you doing?

Oh, just calm down.

All right.

I'm trying to get away from you.

I'm going to have to ask you to

have to ask you to finish chewing before you speak because I have cucumber all over my blouse now.

So then I said to her, Daredev I have a question for you.

And I'll tell you right now, the answer ahead of time is no.

But anyway, if Sutton gave you a Kelly bag, would everything be over?

And actually,

she said yes.

Of course she would.

Of course she would say that.

So then we cut back to the other house.

Bose is like, well, it's hypocritical when they say that I defend Reed all the time.

I mean, hello, you're over here kiking with your bestie.

And yeah, Erica's like, yeah, for years, for years.

If that makes it worse, I mean, doesn't that make it better?

If you're...

If you're going to just blindly defend somebody and it's a friend for years, that makes more sense than blindly defend somebody, blindly defending somebody you met five minutes ago

yeah and again you know erica has been the biggest defender of kyle and dorit and they've also defended her blindly blindly

so it's just very it's just hilarious i would say it's rich coming from them but obviously it's not quite rich not this not this group but i would you know i that all that said I do agree that they both kiss up to their friends ass like they both kiss up to their friends and defend them too much, you know?

You know, it's like nice to see Sutton just have to have to fend for herself and Dorita have to fend for herself.

It's true, but you know, like when you have your favorite housewife and you just defend them even when they're wrong and you just know they're wrong, but you're like, but it's my favorite, so I'm just going to defend.

And I think that's whatever do you mean, Ben?

Because you're just, it's more like, yeah, I see the flaw in my favorite, but the person who is attacking my favorite is annoying me so much that I'm willing.

I'm willing to take the stance just because that way I don't give that person a win.

Yeah.

Look, I know that I feel the the same way i am gonna put in my will that on my gravestone i want it to say um lisa rena started puppy gate lisa rena called the press okay

so uh anyway uh erica's saying yeah that that's garcel's been doing this for years and both like wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

when we go to saint lucia you know i'm working on the room assignments oh

and you already know the three of us are all together

and they're like oh yeah we got Villa.

So,

you know, I think everyone was expecting that Boa was going to say something like, oh, I'm putting you, Dorit, with Sutton so you can mend it.

So she's like, no, we are going to be the cool kids.

So they.

I think Erica's just so glad she gets maid service again.

She's like, oh, thank God.

I held the broom again today.

It was so difficult.

Why did nobody think about me?

So Garcelle, meanwhile, is talking.

We go back there and she's like, so Doreed and I spoke about Kyle.

Oh, did you?

Finally, good gossip.

She goes, yeah.

And the whole mo of it all.

M-O, not M-A-U.

I refuse to say M-A-U.

Oh, good, me too.

I don't like that either.

You know, they were acting like besties.

Besties last night, by the way, Doreed and Kyle.

How disgusting.

Set up a whole season of them feuding, and then they're already buried the hatchet before we even got to our cast trip.

It's just not right.

Yeah, it looks like they made up.

It's like, oh, they have more.

They made up.

They were rolling on the couches together like they used to.

I mean, disgusting.

And

Garcelle's like, yeah, I think that Kyle and Dariette having a beef, like Sutton loves that because then it makes Sutton able to be closer to Kyle.

And really all Sutton cares about is being close to Kyle.

Why?

Yeah.

I don't know.

For no good reason.

No good reason.

She's just a huge Halloween fan, maybe.

Well, Dorit, obviously, it feels like, you know,

obviously feels for her like we all do.

We all feel this way.

And like, well, she, sorry.

Dari feels for Kyle like we all do.

and it sucks to see her photos with your ex making out with some child I mean sorry not a child teenager anyway

so uh yeah we feel bad for Kyle and we're also quietly laughing on the inside let's be honest but we also talked about seeing Kyle at Morgan's concert don't dun dun flashback a week earlier we see Kyle Standing at Morgan Wade's concert.

Was it revenge?

Or was it just straight up horniness?

So we come back and Garcelle's like, well, I mean, it's just wild.

We can talk about Mo and his incident.

And yet we see Kyle hanging out with Morgan at a concert with her name tattooed all over her.

And we're not supposed to say anything.

Nothing.

Wow.

Wow.

Also, no.

So she says, Sudden is definitely scared of Kyle, although she says she doesn't bow down.

She bows down.

And I think it's interesting that we cannot talk about Mo and we can't talk about Morgan.

We can't say, how's the concert?

I didn't know you were going.

How come you're not in the audience like everyone else?

Why were you touching your vagina while she was singing that song?

Well, you know what?

I think the introduction to the topic is, you know, here's how you do it.

Okay, here's how you do it all Augusta-like.

You say, look,

hey, we saw you had a great weekend in the press at Morgan's concert.

Was that the lesbian at Tronic Festival that was happening down there?

Was there a scissoring festival that you guys were excited in?

I mean, what was happening?

Damn, damn.

What?

What about that?

I didn't know.

I didn't know Lilith Fair was back.

So Sutton's like, don't even say that.

You know what?

Let's just introduce it and see what she'll say.

I love that they're so messy.

They're like, let's confront Kyle about Morgan again.

Everybody in the LGBTQ plus community knows that you're not supposed to ask people about going to concerts.

You can't do that.

I love how they're like, what is the most indirect, subtle way we can confront Kyle?

Order her some oysters and send her a box of scissors as a gift and see if that'll come her out.

Book her a ticket at the Hotel Indigo and then say, we'll just be there with our girls and see if she connects the dots.

So

Sutton's like, well, I don't want to make her angry, which is funny when Sutton says that because she kind of lives to make people angry.

So then we go to Kyle's home and she's talking to her housekeeper in Spanish and she's asking things.

You know, she's basically doing white lady Spanish.

She's like, Eso, amuchos, pero más a so, pero lo la ciendo lunes para cinco dias.

And the lady's like, oh, porfa hor, vera, porfa.

She's basically bossing her around about kombucha.

She's like, do we need,

we don't need this many kombuchas because I'm going out of town.

Do you want some extra kombuchas?

So

hard

being in a house where you don't really know how to regulate kombucha anymore.

Uh-oh.

So Booz arrives.

There's a knock on the door.

The doorbell rings.

And Kyle goes to the door.

And then she, of course, orders her housekeeper to help with the dogs.

How about you help with the dogs?

How about you get those things trained?

I mean, like, it's been years of Kyle.

That door opens and the pandemonium that breaks loose in that household with those dogs running crazy.

I don't understand because you don't have a dog.

You know, it's very difficult.

You don't understand what comes over a dog when they see somebody at the door or hear the doorbell ring.

I mean, that, the dog, that is everything.

And the dog's just trying to help you.

They're coming to get you.

Come.

Come.

It's like

standing out there with my cookies.

Like, do you know who you're barking at?

Stop terrorizing the person who's going to let me binge for the next weekend.

Now, listen, if there's anything I'm aware of, it's the fact that dogs go berserk when the front door is open.

Like, that's like my nightmare.

The worst, you ring the doorbell, you already hear the dogs barking.

And I'm like, oh, God.

But Kyle's dogs are more than that.

Every time that front door opens, it is like they are making their prison escape.

They are darting for the road.

They are trying to

get to Tarzana.

Okay.

So it's only

it's like a

sprint.

It's like a like a gunshot goes off and they are they are the ones holding the batons bunking each other on the heads because they want to go.

I mean, every single time.

Jeez.

Meanwhile, her cleaning lady is like holding seven bottles of kombucha.

Like, what does this bitch want from me?

I know.

Like, I can't do everything.

Throw the kombucha at the dogs.

Get the.

So she gives her the gift, and then they walk into the office.

And she's like, oh, what a pretty room.

And she's like, Marta, Jesse, puedes triertos vasos de agua.

And she's like, wow, you speak Spanish?

She goes, well, yeah.

I grew up speaking Spanish because, like, you know, when you're living in LA, that's how you boss people around.

So,

and then after that, my husband was Mexican.

Unfortunately, all I could say to his family at first was, please get me some water and move this fucking kombucha over before I sue you.

Lo siento, that was a big word for me.

Um, so Kyle's like, also, side note, I appreciate your text when that photo came out and you sent that text, like, thank you so much for sending that text.

He's like, Well, look, I'm the kind of friend, I'm ready for war.

It's sort of like your dogs when that door opens up.

And it took everything for me not to get into my car and drive over here.

And then I thought to myself, Do I really want to drive to Encina right now just for Kyle Richards?

And I said, No.

So that was about it.

So Bose is like, well, she said I didn't get to know her, so now I'm trying to get to know her.

And here's what I know.

Streets.

Lots and lots of streets.

Make it worth it.

So Carl's like, well, you know, like, I just, we see a flashback of Carl saying, I feel like I was signaled out because you like got to know Dari, and then you said you didn't have preconceived ideas, but your actions say otherwise.

Your ideas are preconceptos.

So I think this is the perfect opportunity to get to open up to each other and get to know each other.

So, and by that, I mean you're going to talk about yourself.

And then when I realize that you're not asking me a single question, I may volunteer some information about my life.

Okay, let's start this.

Kyle looks so shocked when she actually happens to listen to something somebody else said.

She's like, oh,

I know.

Kyle is like, oh, I have the floor.

Okay, let me take this.

So Kyle starts doing this.

Well, when I first met you, I mean, he, Mauricio, had just moved out and Bose's like, oh, I see.

Bose is like in full therapist mode.

And, well, I just feel like I'm going to get really emotional right now because I'm finally getting to have my scene because Tariq kind of stole my storyline this year.

It's supposed to be my storyline because I kind of like soft-launched it at the end of last season.

So I thought this was gonna be my moment.

And it's like, Kershi took it.

So I'm kind of like, I haven't been able to cry like this yet.

Anyway, I don't know why I could feel like I could feel this coming.

Like, I don't want to do that right now, but like, I just want to be able to explain in the most open and honest.

Hashtag I trademarked that

way.

And I just want to get to know what I just want you to get to know me and explain everything because, like, the way we did it, I don't know.

We were kind of like the best divorced couple of all time.

And like, we were going to be be on a couple of the unnot magazine and like now i don't know if we can be because like he's kissing some skank and mikonos i just i don't know it's like a lot for me right now

oh kyle i i almost fell for the trap of feeling for kyle because i was kind of feeling feeling for her i'm like yeah that must really suck to see your ex making out with someone but then i remembered that he also knows what it's like to see your wife making out with some younger woman

getting tattoos of her and then her saying that she wants a separation and then now she's like and then he left and i just act, I'm just like, what?

Like, what did he, why would he leave?

She's like, finally, I said he's going to move out.

Like, it was just so strange.

Like, I was like, it's really happening.

I was like, yeah, because you told him you wanted to separate.

Like, what do you, Kyle?

Yeah, I did actually feel bad for her.

Even I, I had, I went through the exact same journey where it's like, oh, you know, that sucks.

Like, you've been with someone for 25 years.

Like, I could literally could not imagine if this is something that happened like with Dom.

And so I'm like, I, oh, God, that would break my heart.

So I felt for her.

But then I was also thinking like, this is so Kyle, because it's, you know, it's like, what about all the Morgan Wade stuff, you know?

So anyway, Bose is like, well,

this is a real sad story, but I have sort of a funny, not really funny, maybe morbid, but here's my story since you didn't ask.

She's like, yeah, I'm really sorry about your husband leaving you.

Mine died.

Kyle's like, oh,

Kyle just looks at her like, oh, oh, wow.

Something you may have known if you'd ever asked me a single question this entire season.

I'm like, we're on episode 15.

God damn it.

Anyway, so Peter died and Leila was four and we'd been separated before he got sick.

And I was afraid to ask him for a divorce because, you know, he's sick.

And then I didn't want him to be mad at me.

But we were separated.

And they started seeing this other bitch.

And she came in there.

I wanted to the hotel room and the hospital room and she was kissing his forehead.

And I was like, everyone out.

I lost my mind.

Get this bitch out of here.

Yeah, this was interesting.

I don't think I remembered that they were separated before they got divorced.

I didn't know that either.

Yeah, they were separated.

He got cancer.

and then he, you know, this is fucking men, I'm telling you.

Still get a girlfriend, you know?

Men will still get a goddamn girlfriend, I'll tell you.

Men, men can just men do it.

What can I tell you?

Especially in that town, like rich men, you know?

Yeah.

So, um, he got a girlfriend.

He got pissed when he saw her like rubbing his bald head in the thing.

She's like, I mean, I hated the guy, but still,

get the fuck away from my man.

Exactly.

And so, um, so she tells this whole story, and kyle just goes wow

do you have any follow-up questions kyle do you want to know more about this situation i think kyle was that's what i'm saying when kyle was like legitimately shocked because she's used to just not listening to people but bose kind of caught her off guard because she's so businesslike you know and kyle was actually listening and was like

wow i mean damn it she trumped me how kyle trump this But Kyle's also like, yeah, she's like,

well, I still had some more points I wanted to make about Mauricio being in an airport in Mykonos, but you kind of played the my husband died of cancer and also was seeing another woman at the same time thing.

So I don't really know how to pivot back to my scene.

So, so then she just goes, she just goes back.

She goes, you know, obviously I didn't love seeing that.

Like, he feels bad enough as it is.

And I know he feels horrible, but like, I know him well enough to know that.

I'm like, okay, Kyle, we'll just go right back to Mauricio in the airport.

Yeah.

After both just told this story, you know?

Yeah.

The struggling with the feelings of somebody that you love moving on, even though they're about to die and where does that leave you because like but the paparazzi right i mean okay wait did paparazzi shoot pictures of this lady rubbing your dad's husband bald head okay i win i win still winning okay let's go back to my story now

so she's telling her you know he feels bad because he knows i'm and you know it hurt me and it hurt the girls and she's like okay well when you all are supposed to move on now hold on i'm gonna actually eat something which you don't see where you don't see on the show.

I'm going to eat a carrot.

Answer me.

Oh, yeah.

I did notice that.

She leaned all the way over for that.

You know, she thought, I'm just going to do this discreetly.

I'm sure they won't put it on the show.

And they're like, get her reaching for that carrot.

She was like,

so, um,

by the way, I think it's so strange that Kyle keeps on going out of her way to say, I know that Mauricio would never want to hurt me.

And so he probably did not have any idea there was a photographer there.

I can't say the same for that bitch um yeah

like a woman as usual what the fuck like like why's always on the men's team but i mean i think that part of it is that she is trying to protect her kids a little bit there she doesn't want us to sow discord in her own family but like it's kind of like just why are you even Why are you even mentioning it then?

I just think it's like shady that she does, she is totally absolving Mauricio.

I mean, what part of Mauricio wearing like a million beads and puka necklaces says that this guy is not going through a midlife crisis and being as petty as possible.

I mean, yeah, I think it's totally, it's totally viable that he knew about the photographer.

Yeah, I mean, I think it doesn't even matter because you, you left him, Kyle.

That's it.

That's what happens when you say get out.

Now, is it deserved?

Probably.

He's probably cheated on you a million times.

I'm not saying it's not deserved, but I don't like the whole blaming the woman thing.

Like, you don't know that chick.

Leave her alone.

She sees a, she sees a rich man that she's dating in an airport and she's making out with him.

Like, you go, girl, get your bag.

Get your bag.

But Kyle coming on national television and insinuating every single week that this is just some dirty slut who's trying to hurt her children.

It's like, oh, okay.

All right.

Just, well, I mean, he wouldn't want to hurt me in any way or our girls.

Well,

when are you supposed to move on?

She's like, well, we're separated and we're not divorced.

And like, we filed, and we haven't filed for divorce.

So how long do you think you can do that for?

Or will you be?

What I'm trying to say is, it's been a long time you've been talking about this bullshit.

So it's either should I get off the pot.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Have I mentioned cancer?

Yeah.

She's like,

yeah, well, you know, the photo changed things, I guess.

And she's just, the photo

changed things.

Is that what you're saying?

And she's like, yeah, I mean, I have to have a conversation.

You know, like, I mean, oh no, I mean, it gives me permission, right?

The photo.

She goes, mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hold on a minute.

All right, go ahead.

So this is going to be the first time that you see him see each other since since he's been in Europe.

Kyle's like, Would you like to join us?

She's like, I would, actually.

So, she's just sitting over there making all these noises, and finally, Carl just starts having to crack up.

She's like, oh, my God.

It's hilarious.

Hello there.

This is a two-part recap.

Okay.

the end of part one.

So thank you so much for listening to this.

Just come back a little later for part two.

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