#2758 SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY S03E11: The Long Arm of the Law Prom

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Hello and welcome to Watch Watch Crap Ends, a podcast so much that crap ends? you sweet guy how are you doing doing just great we're here today to talk about the grand finale of southern hospitality before we do that uh we just a reminder to go get tickets for our live shows at watch what crappens.com this weekend we're going to cincinnati minneapolis and toronto and we are going to recap in that order summer house southern house, Southern Charm, I should say, and Real Housewives of New York, season eight, episode nine, December, Berkshires County, the Berkshires episode, the famous one. After that, we're going to Charlotte, Atlanta, DC, Philadelphia, and then in April, we're going to go to Boston and Detroit and some other places.
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Ronnie, what did you think about this season finale? The season finale. What a bunch of messy, messy, messy people.
I loved it. Seriously.
I thought it was great. And i also love a good 10 episode season i don't think they had more to sustain them for more than 10 episodes and i'm glad it was a nice i love a 10 episode season yeah it was um it was a tight strong season every episode was great every episode was hilarious, uh, this, this, this is a great show.
It's a, it's a great show and they are really bringing it and, uh, they did great work with it. And it also had some really beautiful moments too, which was amazing.
So let's dive into it. Um, guilty until proven innocent is the name of the episode.
And, um, it's prom it's law prom. They're doing a doing a law prom but they're making it a prom prom so uh the lead up to the well basically what we we they're kind of i think the vibe that they're going for is carrie or something because we keep seeing things that are like one week before prom but it's like not fun and happy.
It's like scary looking.

I'm like, are the producers trying to make this seem like

there's going to be a bloodbath?

I couldn't quite tell.

But Emmy's playing the role of both Carrie and Carrie's mother

at the same time.

She's just like, okay, I'm going to need people for flowers.

I'm going to need people for cake.

I'm going to need people for decorations.

I got my list done.

It's going to be the best law prom ever.

Nothing can go wrong. And then it's like, three days before prom.
And so we're at a menswear store and Joey and TJ are trying on suits. It's like, oh, this looks good.
And he's like, I think that Mia is wearing a leopard dress. He's like, oh really? Do you have any leopard toxis funny Joe are you in love with me then we see Lake and Molly he asked for a leopard suit he's like really gay like don't even bother giving him a blowjob that's reserved for the boys then Lake and Molly are trying on dresses at another store and they whoosh open the curtains at the same time and they're in the same dress.
And it's like, you copied me. Who wore it best? Am I right? So they keep trying on dresses.
It's like wacky. They're trying on like wacky prom dresses and stuff.
Scary music. And then two days before prom and Michael's house and Preston is over with

Michael's and Michael's is like, Oh wait, I have a surprise for you.

Look, there's three cakes.

It says prom.

Yes.

No.

Are you going to go to prom with me?

He that's, that's a lot of cake to ask a simple question. Especially those two those two don't eat cake i'm not buying it well you got a problem with me i had a moment but this okay you're gonna have to just like trust me on this i was looking at michael's and i was like who does his face remind me of his face reminds me of someone and then i realized when mich when Michaels is being very serious, which is often, he's very serious.
I was like, who, what face does he have when he's being serious? I was like, oh my God, it's Dorothy's born hack. He has resting Bea Arthur face.
And I think that's the greatest honor you could possibly ever bestow a gay man, I think. Like when Bea Arthur gets, you know, someone says something stupid and then she just stares right into the camera.
Yeah, that's exactly it. You'll see it.
Next time you watch it, you'll see it. So he's like, I was straight in high school and I took a girl I was dating to prom and then she spent the night at my house and my mom like found out and then I came back to my bedroom and there was like a box of condoms on there like thanks I don't I love people like his mom you know who are like oh my god being gay is a sin but fucking a girl before marriage here's some condoms do it in our house that's great love that Michael's mom like what do you want at this point like hey Michael's mom if anybody knows Michael's mom carry carry a message to this woman for me fuck off lady.
All right? Get it together. Okay, lady? Hypocritical asshole.
Get it together. So, like, Preston's trying to guess, because he's blindfolded, he's trying to guess what's actually in front of him.
And he's like, well, it sounds like you opened up your fridge and pulled out a Diet Pepsi. He's like, no, it's not a Diet Pepsi.
He's like, okay, it's broccoli. Okay, you pulled out broccoli.
I know, it's broccoli. No, it's not broccoli either.
Okay, is it just, is it a tire? Did you bring in a tire from outside? Oh my God, Preston, you're so bad at this. No, it's three cakes.
And Preston's like, I wish you had spelled this out of broccoli cause that would have been our dessert like why would you do this and so then he like Michael smushes the cake into Preston's face and it's really cute and happy and it's romantic and that's like one day before prom yeah and now the music becomes upbeat.

And Maddie's sitting on her balcony, and Joe Bradley shows up in a vintage Corvette.

And he's got the boombox, and he lifts up the boombox and starts playing the music.

And then he switches into Love Actually, which was actually kind of creepy, which is fitting, I guess, for this. This scene was kind of creepy, where the best friend shows up and just writes stuff on cards and shows the girl.
Yeah, but he had like a lot. Well, first of all, he wrote his on paper instead of like posters, so everything was flopping around.
And he had like so many pieces of paper. He's like, hey, I was wondering, drop the paper.
If maybe you'd be interested in drop the paper. Like maybe there's gonna be this prom drop the paper.
So like, here's the

thing. I really like want to go to prom drop the paper with

it's like, Joe, hurry up. Go to the last piece of paper.
This

diggings you long.

Money can't buy you class. I don't regret fucking you in the

hotel. I'm sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
That was a different one. It was

a different one. It was a different one.
But yeah, he

really makes it long. He makes a whole monologue on like 20 pages of paper.
He's like, I'm pretty much like littering your neighborhood right now. Joe, why did you write down Nana's chicken parm recipe? Oh, I just thought maybe you'd get hungry in the middle of this.
So it's basically, will you got a problem with me? And she's like, oh my God, that's amazing. It's like the most romantic thing that anybody has ever done for me.
That's crazy, man. He's like, yeah, I've been in love with Maddie for like years and that feels like a really long time to me.
But, you know, I wanted to move in with her, but she's not ready. So, you know, like I need to always listen to my mom and stop putting Maddie away.
Flashback to the day before, his mom was like, Yeah, honey, you have to stop being so aggressive with Maddie. Okay, just give her some space.
And for the last time, when I give you Nanny's chicken parm recipe, write it down. I'm sick of having to answer this phone call every week so then um back to outside she's like oh my god are you still doing signs joe it's like i am it really is is that just a drawing of the eggplant emoji i ran out of things but i wanted to keep it romantic so so he's like by the way i've got one more it says we can call it a prom com lol yes yes a prom com i'll go to prom with you joe absolutely by the way so it's like i don't know if i just want to clarify you get that like prom prom commas like a play on rom-com right yes joe come on because i were really trying to do like multiple rom-coms right now not just one but like there were like multiple ones.
She's like, I got it, Joe. I got it.
Should I write them down for you? I still have some paper left. No, Joe.
Let's just take a ride in the car. This is the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for me.
It's like such a relief that he understands how important it is to take my time in this relationship that I don't want to be in. And I do want the same things he wants, except I want them with a different person at a different time in my life.
And that's all. Yeah.
So now they speed off and they're like so happy. So then we go to my favorite place, the Republic back room and everyone's getting ready for their shift.
And guess who I don't see? Cloris Leachman. Hello.
It's a season finale. Where's Siobhan? Where's Cloris Leachman? i know we did see chloris leachman at the very very end did you catch her she was wearing a bright green dress so like she stood out in the group and she was like clapping and was like really happy at the during the prom king and prom queen moment she was like oh yeah that's good i remember i remember when frankie avalon was prom king that was.
That was a good time. We banged in his car back outside.
He's like, I haven't been this set since 2D's time. Natalie had a roller skate.
So, um. He's like, girl, this is a candy shop.
So, Joe's like, hey, my baby, are you going to cover my pimples off? He's like, yeah, come here, Joe. Joe! So they go, and he like covers, she does his makeup, and Michael's like, hey, did you guys take this sheet to make copies? Wait, what are you guys doing? Like, what's going on? Like, what's happening back here? And he's like, nothing.
We're just like pre-booking. That's it.
Yeah. He's like, whatever, guys.
So people are working on the VIP sign and Maddie's excited for prom. And then he's like, I wanted to be pretty.
I wanted to be colorful. I wanted to be a prom, you know, but like a lot prom, except I'll be there.
It's going to be so romantic. Everything's going to go great.
Am I right? And she's like, this summer has been awful. Like, I finally got rid of this fake cheating rumor and like proving will innocent and like i expect everyone to got all of their bad behavior out like it's just gonna be totally fine only with sushi it's gonna be the perfect sushi night did she wait when she says i finally have gotten rid of this fake cheating rumor did she when did you absolutely did not you did not get rid of a rumor you just cried about it.
I think maybe she thought the explanation that Will was being bullied at law school is the thing that deaded the rumor. But I don't think anyone believed that.
Yeah. You proved nothing, ma'am.
So now it's like, okay, yay, it's Republic. People are in Republic.
Fun time, fun times. And TJ is like, hey, Brad, something just clicked in my head.
Emmy is planning this prom because she didn't get to go with Will because she was skiing, right? Is that the same weekend that this cheating supposedly happened? And Brad's like, I don't know. That was the night that whatever went down with Will's cheating supposedly went down.
I'm concerned. I'm very, very concerned.
I'm sure Brad's very concerned. So Brad's like, yeah, when we were in Vegas, Will told us he was apparently getting bullied by Austin's girlfriend's brother, but we come to find out he's lying.
And if you didn't do anything wrong, then why are you lying? You know, because Emmy's like a little sister to me, guys. So, you know, Emmy has every right to know.
Every right to know. So Brad's like, yeah, you know, I have friends at Will's Law School, so I'm going to keep doing some digging.
And TJ's like, if you need help. What law school is this again? How does everyone know so many people in this law school? It's like this nebulous place, this distant law school that I'm not even sure is even in South Carolina, but they all seem to know people there.
And there's people from this law school here in Charleston. It's like this weird concept that's lingering around this show.
So TJ's like, if this rumor is nothing, then it's nothing, but I will find out the truth. I'm like, okay, DJ.
Yeah, I will find out.

So now, 20 South Battery, the prom venue. Five hours until prom.
So Will and Emmy are there, and they're starting to get ready and stuff. And Will's like, yeah, I was never really a big prom guy.
But, you know, I just want Emmy to be happy and smile a lot. What does Will like? He doesn't like hot dogs.
He doesn't like proms. Does he have joy in his life anymore? He hates every single thing.
Everything is a complaint from him. It's hard to believe this is the same guy who we saw the past two seasons who was partying and the bartender and always up for good times.
And now he's like, I hate proms. I hate hot dogs.
I hate standing up, you know?

Yeah.

That's our boy.

He's a miserable, miserable man.

Yeah.

He has no joy.

So Will's like, I'm going to change out of my work tie and into a dress tie.

I've been working.

It was really hard.

Like I haven't even eaten today.

It's like so hard.

I have a job.

My work tie has a little highlighter attached to it but my my my dance tie no highlighter uh so then molly is fixing her fixing lake's eyeshadow and stuff and they're like oh my god slay we're going to prom so molly's like yeah out of eight proms i've been to my favorite memory was my junior year. My date bought me Nike shoes when he asked me and said, just do it.
Go to prom with me. Again, I think there's value in just going up to someone saying, do you want to go to prom? So then now Lake is saying, I just like to shake ass and eat good food.
And Molly's that was poetry so now we go to maddie's house and maddie joe and um it's maddie joe and maddie's housemates fran and eva which i forgot about fran i think we met fran last season i just love that there's someone named fran on this show so um eva in case you guys don't remember ev, Eva was dating O'Sheen until that whole Grace Lilly situation happened. Well, they had a situationship, which means they weren't dating.
They were boning. And then Grace Lilly boned him at the same time.
Dun, dun, dun. I still am shocked that an OnlyFans model cheated on the person he was in a situationship with.
It's just wild. The Milkman.
The Milkman cheated? And how does he have so many people willing to have sex with him when he's always covered in milk smell? You know? I know. Seriously.
So Maddie's like, well, Joe joked this morning that Grace Lilly was gonna be getting ready with us here. Isn't that hilarious? But, you know, I'd like to see you and Grace have a conversation, Eva.
And she she's like um well she wants to talk about it to everybody but me so yeah but she said she's going to and she's like well she lies though she's a liar though huh i wish i had friends who every time i fucked up were like no it's it's okay and he was like yeah same i mean guys you all do You're on this show and you're still friends. So then TJ, Brad, and Mia are getting ready together.
And Brad's like, wow, turns out one of our VIP server knows what's going on. Just a few hours ago, just coincidentally, one of our servers, Ella, who is mic'd up and ready for camera time, told me there's this girl on the law school campus that Will is seen with all the time.

And everyone there believes it's Will's girlfriend.

Notice how Brad has all these girls just willing to come on camera when he needs to give advice.

Fucking shady Brad.

So TJ is like, when we were in New York, I disregarded it at the time because there was like just so much going on with that skank Luan Dilla sap sleeping with my best friend.

But he told me, Will told me that there's a girl that he might have gotten the wrong, that might have gotten the wrong impression and she might like him.

And Brad's like, so I'm trying to figure out who is this girl, right?

And I got a text from a friend saying, apparently she moved in with him short term.

And Mia's like, what? It's like, yeah. They were full on living together.
And Mia's like, well, if Troy had a female friend crashing with him, oh, wow. We would only be thinking of him now in memory.
Okay? In memory. Fuck this.
This is ridiculous. I mean, maybe give Will the benefit of the doubt and say what was going through your head when you would allow a woman to stay in your apartment? So they're ready.
And TJ's like, I'm worried about Emmy, which is why I'm going to give her another nervous breakdown on TV. Brad's like, yeah.
Just defending your man blindly. Just find out what everything said was true.
So now they're like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, prom night so um we're here at the 20th south battery now a lot of these charleston homes look the same and these venues look the same but i feel like we've had so many scenes on southern charm at this place how many fights have happened with those wrought iron gates and those stone pillars i don't know is that just that just because all the houses have those elements? But like, it's not a season finale on one of these shows unless there's gates and pillars. That's like the backdrop.
With antiques that nobody can sit on. So Will and Emmy are just walking around the mansion, you know, pretending to be classy.
And then Will's like, yeah, I bet everybody else is like pre-gaming already, right? And then we cut to the bus where they're like, yeah, like twerking. And then back to Will and Emmy being boring.
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And Will's like, um, I need to work on my laptop right now because i'm a lawyer so yeah and emmy's just like yeah yeah okay cool so um will and emmy go they eventually go to the ballroom and will's like this is like way cooler than my prom i mean i don't even like my prom and i don't like this either i'm bored can i go so he's like look this is gonna be like amazing look like we can dance it could be like beauty and the beast so will's like okay either. I'm bored.
Can I go? So he's like, look, this is going to be like amazing. Look, like we can dance.
It could be like Beauty and the Beast. So Will's like, okay, cool.
So then outside, everyone like comes out of the party bus. They're all drunk and they're all having fun.
Like, woo! Maddie's like, I feel like I'm walking into a wedding night right now. Joe! And Joe's like, yeah, we're already married.
Remember? Remember? Remember? So it's just wedding stuff. Everyone's like taking selfies going to the bar oh my god and um so michael's and uh his boyfriend preston have a conversation he's like the other day you referenced the fact that we're exclusive so i just want to kind of see where your head's at with that uh because yeah i was laying in bed with preston and he mentioned that he deleted all of his dating apps hinting at the fact that he's only getting blowjobs in public parks now without seeing anybody online first.
That's like huge. It was like a very big pinch me kind of moment.
So Preston's like, yeah, I'm definitely all yours and I'd like you to be all mine, but I'm also aware that there's an age gap and it says that like Preston's 26 and Michael's a 22 and Preston's like Preston is not 26. I'm sorry.
That is not a a 26 year old face and i'm not even age shaming because i'm still like almost double his age even if that is his real age but no there's not enough sun damage in the world to do that to a 26 year old did you grow up in a microwave no sir listen good for preston he's like this is the hottest guy i've ever dated i'm gonna lock him down so michaels is, I just want, for me, I want you to know that these are things that, like, I don't want you to have to worry about because, like, all those experiences, I want to have them with you. In fact, I got six cakes that say, will you be my boyfriend, please? So enjoy.
So then everyone's on the dance floor, like, partying, will and emmy are just sitting alone looking like bored and will's like i'm exhausted dude i'm a lawyer so then austin shows up alone he looks sad he puts a corsage to the side because he's alone and he's like well hell he isn't coming and michael's like wait hold on let's talk over here okay do you want to present this to me in cake form he's like no no no well will's been on the phone today he straight up called ali's brother this morning and he convinced he and he's convinced that's where i heard the rumors that i brought up in vegas but no i heard the rumors from's schmother, not her brother. I'm like, we know you heard it from the brother because the producers asked you earlier in the season, are you trying to cover up to protect Ali? And he was like, well, he heard it from Ali and Ali heard it from the brother, I guess.
So he's like, Ali is like absolutely devastated. Her brother didn't even know we're seeing each other again.
Cause like, I mean, Will might've just ruined my relationship. Cause he's in a secret relationship because the family hates him because he's a lying damn cheater.
That's why. So Will just basically outed him.
It's just so cool. It's so glossed over that like he and Ali clearly had some horrific breakup a year ago where he lied and said vicious, terrible things.
And so no one, like, I just love that's just like a side thing. I'm like, are we not noticing? Like, Austin has some darkness swirling around him.
Yeah. And, um, he's like, it's all Will's fault that she's not coming.
Oh, okay. So he's like, uh, Michael's is like, kudos to Will for going to the source.
Cause I would do the same, but like, you know, why would, why wait till prom to have this have this conversation I mean the timing's weird as fuck that's like weird it is true it is it is true like why the night before do you wait to like do this so um now Brad goes up to Austin and Michaels and Brad's like so Allie is not coming and Austin's like no remember how at Ron Club the other day we thought Will was convinced that the bullying and the rumors were from Allie's brother? Well, he literally intimidated her into not coming. They're like, whoa.
So, now everybody else is dancing. You know, we see party shots and stuff like that.
And then we hear, and it's Grace Lilly coming up with a bunch of guys. And one of them is O'Sheen.
So she comes in and everyone's like, oh my God, Grace Lily's here with O'Sheen. And then Eva sees it and she's like, and Maddie's like, oh my God, I think Grace Lily is here.
And so then everyone's just like shocked, you because this is such a messy messy turn so mia's like somebody let o'sheen and grace lily in this motherfucking party golly god motherfucking lee uh so grace lily's like well o'sheen i've been friends forever so whether or not you like him, we know how to have a good time. That's what we do.
He's like, oh, yeah, the milk is thicker than ever, brother. So Austin's like, ugh.
Somebody goes, oh, my God, why? I ride for Grace, but she makes me look so stupid when she does shit like this. And then Molly is like, the audacity to show up with Oshin

shows that Grace gives zero fucks about her.

Friendship with Eva,

who I suddenly care a lot about

because I just met her.

And it also kind of shows

that she doesn't respect

or give a shit about Maddie.

And Maddie's like,

you are so fucking messy, Oshin.

I'm like, I can't with you.

And he's like,

ah, my darling sis,

you knew what you were getting into when you became friends with me babe you knew what you were getting into so um meanwhile everyone else is on the porch and uh she mia goes up to emmy and will and it's like um you guys look like you're having the worst time ever and because like they're just sitting there to the side looking sad which is also kind of like fucked up because emmy planned this whole party and this party was for Will and Will is being such a downer this entire time. So, and Emmy's the sort of girlfriend where she's like, well, if he's being a downer, I have to be a downer too.
So they're just sitting there miserable at their own party. I'm a lawyer's wife and Emmy does that thing.
Well, I thought Emmy was going to be like, well, everyone's like, no one's apologized to us. And it's so awkward with everybody.
But she goes, yeah, because my dad told me it was going to be catered with sushi, but it wasn't. And now I have to eat crab cake.
And Will goes, yeah, I don't like crab cake. Gloria's don't eat that.
She probably loves crab cakes, but Will doesn't like crab cakes, of course. So then she has to not like crab cakes so ridiculous so then um brad and austin are talking about will you know austin's tattletaling to brad about it and then tj goes right up to maddie and molly and he's like um i just want you to know that i had it confirmed that will cheated with a girl from law school and orchestrated the affair to take place specifically while he was on a ski trip.
The timing has to be with Will being able to take this girl to real law prom, and he allegedly had the girl move in with him for a few weeks while Emmy was away. That's right, hold on, let my eyes drift left to right really quick.
I literally cannot take TJ seriously in this entire scene, because he is dressed like Jude Law in AI. He literally looks like that gigolo robot.
His faceolo robot. His face is, like, like, buffed and polished, and his hair looks like it's, like, it's, like, just plastic, and he has the same kind of disco shirt on, and I'm like, I cannot, I just can't stop thinking about Jude Law.
And Maddie's like, no, not Law Prom, and he's like, yeah, Law Prom. Did you hear me? And then he's shit-talking Emmy around town, and that was just to get Emmy to catch wind of his drunken behavior and ultimately break up with him so he wouldn't have to break up with her.
Got it? Does everybody understand? Because he allegedly felt guilty about cheating, so he tried to self-sabotage the relationship. Case dismissed.
Hot dog. Hot dog.
Am I right? The producer's like, yeah, this is all well and good, but Emmy's made it clear that she wants people to leave her and her relationship alone.

So why are you getting yourself involved?

I mean, thank you but why and she's like um well it's like one of those things like um we're like if it's like um in a long-term situation um see the thing is um i mean when you put a hot dog in a bun um well, I guess I want someone to do the same for me.

I want someone to do the same for me.

I like that one.

We'll go with that one.

I want someone to do the same for me.

They're just like, you're just fucking messy, dude.

And he's just like, hot dogs.

So then Maddie's like, I mean, the fucked up thing is,

now we're here for this imitation law prom, air quotes,

and here's Emmy overcompensating for her own version,

which he took another girl to his own law prom, and I heard at that law prom, quotes and here's emmy overcompensating for her own version which he took another girl to his own law prom and i heard at that law prom they ate sushi the sushi was delivered i i mean i love this show that they're doing a fake law prom and there's nothing legal about it like it's just like a prom but it's also a law prom it's a compensate for the fact that will went to law prom with someone else and didn't emmy didn go to that law. I mean, it literally makes no sense, but they're just all going with it.
So now we have O'Sheen and everyone's dancing and Grace Lily's like, and then Will's sat on the porch eating a crab cake and being miserable about it. And then Molly sits down next to O'Sheen on the couch.
And then Grace Lilly comes over and she's like, Hey, you look great by the way. And Molly's like, I know.
Grace Lilly's like, huh? You're supposed to say, thanks doll. And Molly's just looking at her.
She's like, I'm on TV. And this is how we look at each other on TV.

And so Grace is like, can I talk to you private?

Come on over here, private.

Like, okay.

I literally just complimented you, honey.

I was literally being sincere and you just said, I know.

And Molly's like, and this is how you flick your hair on TV.

Molly is like, you know what?

I feel like Molly is getting kind of overshadowed this season.

because Molly has,

Molly's come out guns blazing and she's doing,

she's hitting

Thank you. I feel like Molly is getting kind of overshadowed this season because Molly's come out guns blazing and she's hitting all her beats just right.
And I just want to give a little appreciation for Molly. I think she's been a wonderful addition.
So Grace is like, that was condescending and rude. And honestly, you should work on your character because I know Jesus and Bob Marley personally, and you don't want to get on the wrong side of us three.
And Molly's like, you are such a psychopath. So then O'Sheen just looks like, oh yeah, he's like, every time I arrive, there's a fucking problem, eh? Yeah, damn it.
So then Grace Lily is still sitting there with Molly, and Molly's still giving her the soap opera dirty look.

So Grace Lily just starts, like, genie-ing her hands.

I don't even know what you call it, but she starts, like, doing this, like, weird hand dance in front of her.

She's like, yeah.

And there's, like, sparkles.

They put on sparkles.

Yeah. They had sparkles, too.

She's like, yeah.

And Molly's like, what is that?

What the fuck is that?

She goes, I'm trying to get your energy away from me because that shit is toxic. The show is so great.
Like, I dare people to watch the show and not crack up. So now Lake and O'Sheen are sitting on one of the sofas and Joe and Maddie are kissing on another end and lots of stuff is just going on all over the party.
And O'Sheen is like being very flirtatious with Lake. He's like, so what's in that box of tricks you got in there? Do you want to see my box of tricks? Do you like dairy? And she's like, nothing fancy.
He's like, oh, I like that purse though. Thanks.
Ha! And she's like, God, I really like his, that accent. I love that.
I love he has like a Jon Snow accent. And's basically like, if Austin had Oshin's accent and Joe's hair, that would be the hottest guy ever.
Austin's body. Yeah, if you took all those things from all sorts of different guys, you could make the hottest guy ever.
So then Grace is like well i'll literally she's still with molly she's like i literally told eva that night that there was a possibility i'd be fucking oh shane and she's like oh my god maddie come here she's doubling down and maddie's like grace you told me last week of republic you knew it was wrong and you wanted a chance to apologize and then in walk eva and fr I'm Fran I'm just here for moral support what are you guys talking about it's that wacky Fran and Eva out there like so Eva's like well Grace Lily never warned me about wanting to hook up with Oisin Fran can attest to that can't you Fran yeah I can attest to it listen I got this bitches this bitch's back. I'm Fran, best friend.
And Oceania's like, girls, girls, please. And she's like, get over him.
He doesn't fucking like you, Eva. And Eva's like, he doesn't like you.
And she goes, yeah. And Maddie goes, he doesn't like any of you all.
He's a whore. And Fran's going, liar, liar, liar.
I'm like, go get him, Fran. You do it, Fran.
Good for you. And Grace for you and grace slowly goes yeah well maddie you sucked his dick into loom and joe's like oh my god i don't want to hear a lot so she did that and matt is like oh no wait yeah you're not a friend okay you burned that bridge so now outside oh I guess I'm not a friend Michael Michael's is confronting Will

about all the goss, about this girl. And now he texted the brother and ruined things for Austin.
And so Will's like, what? I just sent one text. And Michaels is like, well, because of that, Austin's girlfriend isn't here.
And he's like, why is anyone giving it light? I mean I mean, it's like so attenuated. I don't even want to give it a breath of air.
I hate air, by the way. So then this is- Attenuated? That doesn't even make sense.
What is he talking about? He's like the chef of this show. When he says attenuated, it cuts to Michaels, and it goes, it's like almost like someone like, it's like when a cat gets up on a counter and you squirt it with a wetter gun and the cat's like so attenuated hits Michaels like I don't even know what that word means they're like do you know what attenuated means he's like I have not heard that word before hey Siri what does attenuated mean Siri's like it is a word that should not be used on southern hospitality thanks that's what I.
You're not the only one on this cast who doesn't know this word, including the one who just spoke it. So then we go back to the porch and Austin's like, Will is the one I need to talk to.
So Mia's like, oh my God, this is like this short, this is like a tiny balcony. Get over here and just talk to him.
So she pulls him over and she's like, okay, you're two grown men. You need a mommy to put them together.
So listen, tell them what you know. If you know anything, if you know nothing, say nothing.
Now I've connected you, go ahead. I'm not leaving.
I'm staying here. I'm the audience.
Go ahead. So then of course, Emmy is like, okay, I want to be part of this because you know, Will is like, let's go talk privately.
And Emmy's like, I want to be part of this. I would like to listen.
They're like, no, just the two of them. She goes, no, I shouldn't then they go over to- And then TJ's head just appears.
He's like, someone say hot dogs?

Yeah, TJ appears out of nowhere and just like leans in on the railing.

Like, just be cool.

Like, just pretend I'm not even here.

I'm totally not going to use this gossip against you guys.

Come on.

The hot dog cart lid pops open and he just pops out.

And then all of a sudden Brad appears.

And then all of a sudden Joe appears.

It's like in The Simpsons whenever there's like a ruckus in the street

and all the little characters appear in the background.

All the towns are.

All the towns are.

I don't know. And then all of a sudden Joe appears.
It's like in The Simpsons whenever there's like a, like a ruckus in the street and all the little characters appear in the background. All the towns.
So, I mean, it's like, um, I'm not doing this in front of everybody. It's crazy.
Like I just had to eat part of the crab cake. I hate crab cakes now on behalf of Will.
I had a sympathy crab cake. So now they try to leave, but then everybody follows them out onto the sidewalk.
And here we are, the greatest set piece outside a mansion. But also, by the way, I think what's also funny is that they pulled this whole thing of like, well, we're not going to have this conversation in front of everyone.
Like, why does it always have to be in a group setting? Like, why is it that if we're going to talk privately, I mean, it's like, why does it have to be like this? We're just trying to talk privately. It's like, I mean, you were first one who barged in on a conversation.
You're not part of this conversation either. Yeah, because she's got to be there to stand up for Will.
Because she's Will's a woman, okay? It's different, Ben. Yeah.
So Joe's like, I hope to God it's not true, but we wouldn't even know, because every time someone brings up the rumors, you sprint away. And TJ's like, yeah.
We can't even understand what he's saying. TJ's just so activated.
He's just like, TJ's like frothing at the mouth. He's like, I will yell at somebody.
This is the season finale. You're not taking this away from me.
So Will's like, TJ always needs someone to hate. Like it's become clear to me that this tunnel vision of hatred is now attenuated towards me.
And we see a montage, to be fair, a montage of TJ basically scolding people from, like, you see him sniping with Joe, Mikkel, Grace Lily, and Will, which I think it's like, it is true. But then again, everyone has yelled at everyone.
And you could probably make a montage of everyone snapping at everyone on the show. No, TJ is the worst about taking shit that's none of his business and doesn't affect him at all and then screaming at you about it.
He's always been like that. Is he the worst or is he the best at doing it? It's fun to watch, but he's definitely the worst about it.
And he's like, well, we know that, you know, he's like all mad and like waving his finger around. And he's like, we know who the other girl is.
And you took her to the prom estate in your apartment. And Will's like, I did not take her to prom.
And Emmy's like, um, wait, that girl, I know who that is. That's the girl we're talking about.
Have you guys seen this girl? And so Will and Emmy are like trying to explain like, that's just a classmate emmy knew she was there the whole time she's like um and then emmy tells us like i'm not threatened by this particular friend and i feel so bad for the friend who's sitting at home like is she covered in warts on her face like what's wrong with this girl like it was fran it was fran all along. So this girl's just like, okay, no one would cheat with me.
Thanks, guys. Basically, Will said that he went to New York for Watch What Happens Live, and she was moving.
And so he let her crash at his place for two days and said, like, you have to leave, though, by the time I get back. But by the way, Mia, at some point in this, Mia was like, I know Will.
And Will is the most unfriendly person. And he would never let anyone stay at his house.
That was her piece of evidence. So TJ's like, when are you going to realize that he's a fucking piece of shit that's going to fuck you over? She's like, not everyone is miserable, TJ.
And he's like, no, except for you fucking guys. And he just runs off, and he goes off to Maddie.
He is way too emotionally invested in all this shit, but obviously it's hitting his damage. There's something about, I think when he sees people who are not being truthful, it sets him off, and he goes to a dark place that he doesn't need to go to.
I think he just looks in drama, and it it's a season finale and he's like, oh, I'm going to yell it. Because then he runs right in and he goes, I just screamed at them.
I just screamed at them. He's trying to get attention from the popular girl.
Maddie's like, oh my God, TJ, someone get this amount of water. Look at TJ.
My God, his bowling ball face is about to explode. Please, someone help TJ.
So then Emmy at this point is like, her hands are doing the big like flappy thing and she's like, everyone is always has something to say behind my back, but like never to me. It's like she's dribbling a very tall basketball.
And so me, it's like, because whenever we try to come for you, you always storm away. She's like, well, maybe because it's done at a party where everyone's watching and there is no sushi.
So they leave. Will and Emmy are like, let's go, baby.
So they leave. And then everybody agrees that Will is guilty in a court of law prom of cheating.
And they think that Emmy's a victim, so, you know, whatever. They're not mad at her, but fuck Will.
And Mia's like, yeah, unless she sees a video of him sticking his dick in somebody else, she's going to stay forever. She would stay even with that.
She would stay even with that. Yeah, I think she would.
She'd be like, boys, we'll be boys. You know what? It's hard being a lawyer.
Yeah, and that could have been just a doctored video. Like, Will told me he was seen on video doing this.
And like, I knew about it. It's fine.
yelled at him at least there was sushi on his shot at his set so um uh so yeah that's so they go off into the night they never have to answer to anything yeah commercials here comes one right now And then

Law Prom Queen and King

Are announced

And it's the couple of the year joe and maddie

so they have romantic endings and joe's like we're gonna have up and downs but the fact that we know

how to couple those up and downs and that we see a future together that is perfect maddie's like

yeah it's gonna be great and cloris leachman's in the background in her green dress clapping what a great moment what a special time for us all so we think it's over and then we get the film rewinds and it's 10 days ago at Republic and we hear Will we don't see him but we hear will and they're like in the kitchen or whatever and he's talking to the producers and he's like um i don't know when would be the appropriate time for this but um i have information that would be like an atom bomb and we screenshotted all of our group texts so there would be like some redemption in it for me and her but like i don't think we've we've seen Maddie activated this season. So like, why don't we turn it on Maddie? Like that they just show Will trying to be messy with the producers.
Yeah. So then we go into the reunion, which is a watch what happens live reunion.
It's a clubhouse. I feel like next season they deserve to have a proper reunion with sofas and everything.
So Andy Cohen's got everyone there. Everyone's there.
And the big thing that comes out of this reunion because Maddie is like, she's rattled. It takes 10 minutes for him to say hello to the entire cast, but he's like, hi, Joe.
Hey, Andy. Hi, TJ.
Hi, Andy. Hi, Maddie.
She's like, hi, like, Okay, what happened to Maddie Reese? She looks, she looks shell-shocked right now. Well, she says she's under the weather, but we find out what happened last night.
Will dropped the bomb. Will, you're so bad at this.
You do this shit at the reunion. You don't do it the day before and give everybody like a heads up.
What's wrong with him? He did the same thing with the brother. He should have had the brother show up at the prom and say, that's not true or whatever.
And now he's doing it again where he's just blowing his wad before they shoot. So Will has decided not to show up.
He pusses out of the whole thing. What a wuss.
What a wuss. You know what? Here's the thing is that last season, Maddie was in the hot seat with Trevor, which is obviously going to be relevant in this reunion.
But Will was a crusader against that situation. He and Emmy were very vocal about it.
They went to Miami and Maddie left in the middle of dinner to go off with Trevor or whatever. And he's like, why doesn't Trevor show up? I mean, I seem to remember him saying these things.
But he was grilling Maddie. He was aggressive about it, as were everyone else.
But the point is that he wanted Maddie to show accountability. It became a whole thing.
And now, this season, when he has to face the fire, not only does he not show up at the reunion to at least answer things and dispel rumors, sits there backstage while emmy has to take all the heat for him it is so shitty what a piece of yeah he really is but you know stupid emmy is just like like he just couldn't do it it's like for his mental health it's like it's super important when you're a lawyer to have mental health guys so you need to have like a really mentally sharp and unattenuated mind to hold that highlighter above your ear okay so it's just it's for him it's for his legal career so we start right off with it so uh basically maddie starts crying she's like i just found out the news last night just last night guys just last night joe i don't know it's real fake. We find out that Will came to her and told her, showed her all the group texts, which proved that all the stuff about Trevor cheating with that girl last year was a lie.
And basically, they all went with it anyway, just to throw Maddie under the bus and have her break up with Trevor, which is just so shitty. And Brad's excuse is like, well, I mean, I didn't like her then.
And so, you know, basically this girl, I was training this girl. She told me about this and that.
She said that she made out with him, but then she admitted, once she saw it getting out of control, she admitted that it was a lie. But by then it was just too late for me to say anything.
And I didn't like Maddie anyway. And then they just let him off as if the entire part of the last episode wasn't Brad doing this again yeah this exact same thing again exactly I mean I mean it's funny because my memory of season two was that it was never really clear whether Sammy hooked up with Trevor I mean we all kind of believed it because Trevor still is a piece of shit regardless of whether he hooked hooked up with this guy or not.
Like he was he was garbage. And and, you know, Maddie does say that.
But Brad says that, like, he basically is like, yeah, at first she she had lied to me and said they hooked up. But then she said they hadn't looked up at that point.
I was already so deep into it. So we just went along with it, which is it is it is sucky because it does also like it means that his case against Will is much weaker, like you just said, about what he heard about law school.
Like he's clearly a proven liar. But really the first part is like Maddie being like, my reality is like destroyed.
Like I don't know what's real and I don't know what's fake anymore. Okay, settle down.
And still, this is just about Sammy and Trevor. So, it's not that deep.
But it is because her whole thing with Trevor was, you've cheated on me. I don't want to be with you again.
And he's like, I changed. No, I promise you I've changed.
So, she gets back together with him. He's accused of cheating again.
And she's like, I can't because you're accused of cheating again. And this is obviously your line.
But she stayed him what she stayed with him after that the thing is that she ended up breaking up with him after all the stress of it and stuff because it caused all the stress in their relationship but he didn't cheat on her so maybe he had changed so i mean i don't think that you do when you're a trevor i don't think that he did change but that's not the point it's not like whether i think he could change but in this girl's she's like, I broke up with like the love of my life because of you guys. And they were all in on it.
Everybody knew in the group text. And Joe's like, I don't know anything bullshit.
Joe knew too. But Joe is lying because he wants to keep Maddie.
So she's like, Okay, you guys had me break up with the love of my life. And now I'm settling for like a friend because I'm so traumatized when I should have been with that guy this whole fucking time and now I'm living out my dreams, I could be with that guy, but instead I'm with this friend because you guys have forced me into this fucking situation.
Right. Well, and we can see that this has also changed people's perceptions of Will because at one point Andy asks who here thinks that the rumors are true about Will and actually not as many people raised their hands, whereas I think at the end of the season they all believed it so you know will has like that's definitely like the needle has moved more towards will but i think the thing is that like it's like whether will cheated or not it's never been totally clear but what has been clear is that he has been a shitty boyfriend to emmy and he talks about her and he let her take the brunt of like all these accusations and he would always hide away instead of like facing them and that like that none of this takes away from the fact that he's he's really shitty for doing that and he should have appeared on this reunion stage and said look i just got this information and i and this proves that you are all unreliable narrators and you're all more interested, even though I was part of it, too, in weaving a tale that's good for TV.
And you don't care who gets hurt in the process. And this year, it's me who's getting hurt in the process.
And everything you guys say should be taken with a grain of salt because you're obviously liars and you're proven liars. This was he.
He was the one who introduced the evidence, but then he didn't show up for his own court case yeah he's an idiot yeah will's i'm not it's nothing standing up for will but it's obvious yeah i know you're rad and specific are like or in particular are liars they've done it two seasons in a row and that's just not good and the whole cast was on board with it it's just so gross and i i don't blame maddie for being pissed but it's they still keep turning it on will being a bad boyfriend which he is but you guys are terrible friends i mean you are all terrible and it also goes to show you like the level of self-producing that goes even to like a season two of this show you know that they're like no no they all get on the group text like a bunch of housewives like here's how we're we're going to bring this bitch down. You know? Yeah.
It was funny how Brad was like, well, I am going to do something that Will was not able to do, which is I'm going to be accountable. And this is what I did.
He sort of like, he presents it like this is actually evidence of him having good character. Yeah, he's such a good person.
You're not accountable when you're already in jail. You know what I mean? It's like a jailhouse confession.
Like you were already caught buddy. Okay.
It's not just you coming forward and being accountable. You were busted.
So yeah, Maddie doesn't really seem to be mad at all of them, but she does seem to be shell shocked, you know, and Joe, I don't believe for one second. Mattie is so shell shocked.
The poor thing, she looks like she looks like she saw a ghost. She is, she just looks out of sorts for this entire reunion.
And she is, she's like, oh, like traumatized for the whole hour. Yeah.
And then, and then Emmy's also, I mean, she's, she's crying. And at one point she's like's like, and Lake is like, oh God, they just start laughing.
And Emmy is like, no, Lake, be quiet. You don't understand.
Emmy is going through it. And Leva is like, hey.
I don't feel for Emmy either, because she was in on this. You can't spend an entire season lying about somebody else and then cry when it happens to you the next season.
And by the way, it even come from maddie who deserved to get revenge on your ass it came from the same people that you were butting up to to take her down so fuck off you're all and love is like um you don't have to take on you know all of you're taking on too much of will's bullshit and she's like oh but i don't like crab cakes anymore i was like okay um there was also a big portion of the reunion that was dedicated. It was actually like really fascinating and interesting.
A lot of discussion about like gay stuff. And it was interesting because you have Michaels and you have TJ and then you have Andy and you have Michaels who's relatively new on his journey.
And you have TJ who's been through like 10 years or so of it and has been like traumatized by queer baiting. And you have Andy who's kind of like mother henning them.
And it was it was actually a very they're touching moments. But there was a moment where there was a clash with Joe and TJ because they started to rehash the whole thing of like, like TJ, why would you go around telling everyone that Joe's gay? You told everyone that Joe's gay.
And they're really coming down hard on TJ.

And TJ is trying to keep it together. And at one moment, the reason I bring this up is because Grace literally tries to jump into TJ's defense.
And she goes, look, I scissored a woman. I scissored a girl once.
in this very serious moment like like talking about like, like what like queer baiting and like emotional trauma for it. And like what was said privately? What's room? What's starting rumors? What's just venting to your friends and everything.
He's like, Hey, Hey, Hey, I said you're the girl once guys. Doesn't make me gay.
Yeah. That whole thing too.
Cause that out that joe and tj made up during the season but then joe ditched him again once he saw all the footage because he saw how tj was talking behind his back and he didn't like that and then tj starts crying and pulling this victim shit again i'm sorry but you're in the wrong you're just in the wrong period i mean i get a lot of the. And we had the discussion during the season about the plot line of like, well, you know, it's not really right for Joe to like lead somebody on and then kind of hook up and then the other person's supposed to be silent and this and that.
But TJ literally was going around to everybody being like, Joe's gay, Joe's gay, Joe's gay, trying to kind of ruin his reputation. And we never got to the part of the conversation of like, can we get to a time where being gay

doesn't ruin someone's reputation?

That would be nice, the South.

Like we didn't get to that part of the conversation.

But TJ just starts this shit

where he's confronted with stuff,

what he did wrong, and he starts crying.

And he's the biggest victim because he's been queerbaited.

Well, stop fucking hooking up with straight guys then.

Like at some point,

you have to like take some kind of responsibility.

You know what I mean? I think at this reunion, TJ was just like he was just not winning it for me he had he had a tough reunion i don't know i i did feel bad for him because i do think he's really been he's like profoundly you know um scrambled by like his what whatever his gay journey has been like he he's, everything that we talked about with TJ tonight,

it's all wrapped up in this,

in like self-loathing and who knows what.

And I think like, it's, I think it's like a very murky thing.

I think, yeah, it's not right to say,

don't hook up with Joe because he's gay.

But I also think he's allowed to tell his friends,

like, I think that Joe might have had feelings for me.

So it's a complicated situation. And I just feel bad because I see him just like tangled up in his own bullshit right now but I also feel bad because it's like I thought you guys settled this during the season like why did like I don't know I don't think it's I don't think it's cool that Joe Bradley um got mad all over again because I'm like you know what was discussed like you getting mad he doesn't know what was discussed behind his back and what TJ was saying and how he was discussing it with everybody else.
You know, he only knows the conversation he had with TJ. And I mean, when TJ was, when they were going through that scene, I thought that was such a good scene in the bar.
And like, I related a lot to that scene because I've gone through that same period that TJ has, you know, I've had that, I've had those same loves and stuff that i really didn't understand um because they were like quote unquote straight and they turned out just to be guys experimenting and stuff like i get that and i think if tj had just come to the reunion and been like i up i shouldn't have done it you're right me going to those people and saying stuff was wrong but i didn't understand it was wrong because to me it was just like a hookup and I'm allowed to talk about a hookup.

Like I didn't understand it was going to affect your dating life or whatever in Charleston or follow you around because we live in a fucking homophobic place and this and that. I think if he took more responsibility or accountability, then I wouldn't have been pissed, but he didn't.

He just was like, well, it's because I've been traumatized by men.

It's like, fuck off.

At some point, you have to take some responsibility.

And then you spent the whole season

lying against someone who's your best friend,

your other best friend, who's Will.

That guy is just like, that's terrible.

Especially after that.

No, no.

But then on the other side,

you have Michaels, the poor guy.

He's sobbing there in the clubhouse

talking about his mom.

He thought the show was going to

I'm going to go make his mom, I think, realize what his what his pain is that he carries. And he says his mom hasn't even reached out once.
And if anything, like his mom has been like, why are people telling me that you're talking about being gay on TV? And so, but he did say his family members, like his, his aunts and like his siblings have been open and he's going to like, they're going to meet Preston and everything. But I felt so bad for Michaels because he is really like, he clearly is like yearning to reconnect with his mother.
And his mom is like, like this, you know, she, I'm not going to say she's a piece of shit because she's a piece of shit. I'll say fuck that lady.
Fuck that troll. Cause I'm like, I don't, yeah, I will say fuck that lady though.
Like that's your son right there. How do you, how do you not reach out? Like how do you, when you see your child crying on TV and just wanting his mother's love and you're gonna, and you're just, you're just not going to talk to him, really, lady, go to Shut Up Mountain.
Yeah, fuck that lady. Fuck you, lady.
Yeah, some people are just shit people, you know? But she was lucky enough to have a non-shit son, so that's good, because he's very nice. I mean, on Michael's behalf, I'm like, oh, God, please Preston don't break his heart, because I just have a feeling.
I just have a bad feeling about Preston. And I don't know why, because he seems so sweet.
He's done nothing but be very sweet on the show. So I don't know why, but I just, I don't know.
But I love Michael's. I know.
Michael's is so wonderful. Michael's is a great find.
He's a great breakout star for them. But yeah, so it was a fun reunion.
And I hope this show continues to thrive because it's given us three wonderful seasons of content. Yeah, so far so good show.
Love this show. And hopefully it started to break out a little bit.
It seems like more people are watching it and stuff this year. Yeah, I think so.
Let's see. Hope we get some more.
But it's been a super fun season of Southern Charm. So thanks, show.
Yeah, thank you. And thanks, everyone, for listening.
And we will catch you on the next Crappens episode. Bye, everyone.
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