#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach

44m

This is part 2

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Runtime: 44m

Transcript

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Speaker 2 Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes.

Speaker 2 But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.

Speaker 1 So then they're talking about who's coming to the party and Shamia has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird. And they're like, aren't they going through a divorce? She goes, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, whatever. And so Britt's like, well, I heard at the real estate party, at the real estate Oscars, I heard that Drew is dating Dennis.

Speaker 1 They're like, Dennis? Dennis the hot dog, Dennis? And Shamia is like, well, they were working together, but, you know, I heard that they were at the club holding hands.

Speaker 2 And Britt's like, I didn't hear that they were booed up. She goes, I don't really, really know Drew that well, but I heard some things about Drew and it's a mess.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Word gets around in insurance circles. So Kelly's, Kelly then says that Dennis was in her DMs.

Speaker 1 And they're like, what?

Speaker 2 Kelly's like, yeah, I posted a bathing suit photo and he was like,

Speaker 2 there's no way you've got four kids. OMG.
And I'm like, oh. And they're like, oh my God, Dennis.
Like, did you respond? And she's like, no, of course I didn't respond.

Speaker 2 I mean, I sent him some free mimosa mix. They're like, you mean orange juice? Mimosa mix.

Speaker 2 But that's it.

Speaker 1 And Britt's like, nobody wants to see that hot dog. I went on one date with him back in the day and he came on the date and he brought me a diamond necklace as a gift.

Speaker 1 Are you sure this was like a date or was this like a date? Because that's crazy.

Speaker 2 He's like, he's like, I'd like to get this necklace in church. She's like, thank you so much for the gift.
He's like, no, I. I want to know how much I can get it.

Speaker 2 Can I take out a policy on this necklace? For me, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Because Britt, I think the thing that Kenya ends up accusing her of is like being a call girl or something later, right?

Speaker 1 And she's saying like, oh, I've even got these pictures of you with like dicks or something. And she puts them up at some party or something.
Spoiler alert. So I guess that's the talk about Brit.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 getting a diamond necklace on a first date is a little, ah.

Speaker 1 So then Britt's like, yeah, he didn't get my Tatas on the date because he didn't even know me, but he did come bearing gifts.

Speaker 2 So Shami was like, so you were definitely the girl, that girl back in the day.

Speaker 2 She's like, yeah, I was like a little video fixing back in high school like i was a high school girl she's like no she's like yeah i was in black men magazine all the magazines back then yeah i was like in high school and she says she says like nothing happened there was like no spark but you know diamonds are a girl's best friend so i definitely wasn't returning any gifts so she kept her diamond necklace but also like why is dennis giving a diamond necklace on a first date that's a little weird Yeah.

Speaker 1 So then, well, he was kind of like that with Portia right at the beginning. She was giving

Speaker 1 lavish gifts and stuff like that. Now, no one ever said whether they went and got this stuff looked at by a jeweler because that's kind of what I'm curious about.
So then

Speaker 1 Britt's like, but that's the best friends. Hee hee hee, and they all woo, like, we're best friends, which, you know, is going to be destroyed by the end of the episode.

Speaker 1 So then we go to Portia and Shamia, and they're like, we are crazy wild girls. Shamia's like, I have a peach.
We're going to a strip club. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So they go and they're like, oh, whoa. And they're going to, they're like, don't worry, girls, we're going to tip you.

Speaker 1 So Portia's like, wow, with my divorce being so public, like, and so stressful, like, I haven't been outside for like for real. So like, Shamia is like such a great friend.

Speaker 1 And like, if she says that, like, my, that

Speaker 1 ass clapping and shots is going to make you feel better, then I'm going to roll with her in this one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And so Shamia is like, well, have you talked to Simon? Because he texted me this morning.

Speaker 1 He said, congratulations on the peach. Can't wait to see you and Gerald in that beautiful Buckhead mansion.
And I said, thanks, bro.

Speaker 1 It was supposed to be all of us and she's like yeah he has more things to be concerned about than a peach

Speaker 2 so shamila's like i just feel like he's chasing that like like he's chasing anything that's attached to you you know he's been in the box every single day and portion's like yeah every little thing everything his posting his constant attacks him taking talking to all my friends him lying he's a nightmare you definitely shouldn't have called him bro because he's not a bro so shamin''s like okay he's not he's simon that's who he is so shamila's like well but the girls brought it up here last night they're she's like well what girls she says oh yeah we recast the show there's new people on the show so kelly and britney you know kelly um who does waffles and brittany who does insurance yeah so um they were like why did kelly was like why did she take that lady's man

Speaker 1 yeah she's like that's her energy come on and she's like oh my gosh now everyone's

Speaker 1 smearing my name already. I mean, you can just be like everyone else, like, online, beat block too.
I don't care. So they're having this serious conversation.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, there's this lady behind them clapping her ass cheeks. I can't even call it clapping her ass.
I don't know what the fuck were going on with these ass cheeks.

Speaker 1 Were they robot ass cheeks? One was like doing the wax on, wax off. One was doing the paint on, paint off.
One was like rubbing the belly. One was like patting the head.

Speaker 1 That was the most talented pair of cheeks I've ever seen in my life. I don't even know how anyone paid attention to this scene.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, you know, I feel like in Atlanta, like the stripper arts are really elevated.
Like that's, you know, like Florence is like the home of the Renaissance.

Speaker 2 And Atlanta, like that's where our like stripper Renaissance painters are. They just know how to do it so well down there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they really do. Remember when we went to Swinging Dicks? What a night.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, of course. Swinging Richards, I mean.
Swinging Richards. I mean, that one.

Speaker 2 It swung. It swung too hard.
Swung too close to the sun.

Speaker 1 It knocked itself in the face with its own dong so many times, it just plumb knocked itself out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I will never, ever ever forget what happened there.

Speaker 2 It was a wild place.

Speaker 2 So we ran into Krappens listeners there, too. That was the best part.
Yeah, that was fun.

Speaker 1 So Shamiya is like, you know, but then they asked me about Drew, and because I had heard about Dennis and Drew hanging out, you know, and I heard they were at a club.

Speaker 1 And she goes, yeah, for her birthday, right? Wait a minute. Another night with my jaw.
My jaw's on the floor.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 then she's like, Portia's like saying,

Speaker 2 wait, where am I? I got lost in my notes here.

Speaker 1 So basically, maybe all that

Speaker 2 got me disoriented.

Speaker 1 I know, but you, you really are going back in the bench.

Speaker 2 No, I actually got, you're just like lost.

Speaker 1 Okay, Ben, it's your turn. He's like,

Speaker 2 no, I'm seeing something about a chicken shack. And I'm like, wait, are we talking about a chicken shack?

Speaker 1 They're talking about how Portia trusted Drew and she's always been a supportive friend.

Speaker 1 And then we see, I don't think we saw this back in the day, but at the last reunion when Portia wasn't in the season, Drew is in the makeup chair calling Portia for advice, which I thought was really funny.

Speaker 1 So she's like, what you're not going to do is let him take you because you're the only one who's been so vulnerable and open and let them spread out the issues. You got this.

Speaker 1 And Drew's like, see, that's all I need. And multiple people are blushing her.
She's like, that's all I need. She's like, Portia, friends forever.
Friends forever.

Speaker 2 So Portia tells us, I mean, even, she's like, even right now, Drew's an influencer for my company, Go Naked Hair.

Speaker 2 But all this behind-the-scenes bullshit sneaking around with my child's father, to me, that's just crossing the line.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but how are you going to call yourself a friend of Drew's when you make her look like that in these ads? We see a shot of Drew with this go naked hair. You might as well go naked.

Speaker 1 What the hell is she wearing? Oh my God. Poor thing.

Speaker 2 So now we see everyone getting ready for the party and we're at Brit's.

Speaker 1 I've been on Tubi. Can I get something a little higher class than this?

Speaker 2 She's like, I just hope I can make the big jump from Tubi to Mubi. Because I think there's Tubi and Mubi, right?

Speaker 2 Tubi is where Drew Sedora is and Mubi is where Demi Moore is.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And I'm not even joking.

Speaker 1 So then we see everybody getting ready for the party And Britt's talking to her husband, Michael, and he seems very sour, which I like.

Speaker 1 And he's like, you know, everybody's going to be drinking. She's like, well, I'm not going to drink too much because, you know, I can be extra.

Speaker 1 And let's, let's face it, it's not just my reputation here. It's insurance's reputation.
So don't worry about me.

Speaker 2 It'll be just fine. Yeah, I have to be like a good neighbor.
So then we go to Shamia and her mom.

Speaker 2 And there's

Speaker 2 saying, well, the mom's saying, you are Jesus' favorite daughter, and you can get a direct call to him, and I need you to tell him.

Speaker 2 And then she's, well, I guess Shamia is saying this, sorry, to her mom.

Speaker 1 And she starts singing, Horain, Horrain, go away, come again,

Speaker 2 another day. I'm like, wow.
It's probably a lot to live in Shamia's house.

Speaker 2 So it's probably, it probably takes a lot of patience.

Speaker 1 And I thought, oh, that's cute. And then it just kept going and going.
And she's like, like a song in the doorway,

Speaker 1 singing. I mean, listen, Bueller has to put up with that shit all the time.

Speaker 2 She's like,

Speaker 2 I wasn't a biopic about TLC. So with that, with no further ado,

Speaker 2 I don't need no rain. Rain is the weather.

Speaker 1 I can't get no rain.

Speaker 2 Me hanging on the passenger side of my best friend's cloud, trying to rain on my party. Like, okay, Shamia.

Speaker 1 I think it's...

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I apologize to our audience.
That was, no one needed to hear that. No one needed to hear an attempt to do no scrubs with rain when I didn't remember half the lyrics.
I apologize.

Speaker 2 That was a bridge too far. Bridge too far.

Speaker 1 No rubber dub-dubs. No men in no tubs.

Speaker 1 So now Porsche is FaceTiming with Cynthia, and Cynthia is doing that thing like talking to your mom.

Speaker 1 Either your mom has the phone on the ground and you're like, Mom, I can't see your face, or she's got it like this, or she's like, Hi, honey.

Speaker 1 Mom, I can see your nose hairs. Back, but I can see your pores.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 she's like, Why are you so close?

Speaker 2 So Cynthia's like, hi, so I heard everything about you and Simon. And I was like, you know, you and I fall fast.
That's what we do.

Speaker 2 Even though there may be red flags everywhere, if there's one thing that we love, we love going to an amusement park. And our favorite amusement park is six flags.
So

Speaker 2 bring on the red flags. And first of all,

Speaker 2 we fall fast with both feet. And I love when people say that.

Speaker 2 That's how they try to excuse their terrible judgment. They're like, well, you know, what can we say? We fall in love fast.
We fall hard. We fall fast.
We dive in with both feet.

Speaker 2 That's just the type of people we are.

Speaker 2 It's called bad judgment. It's bad.
You have bad judgment. You can try to make it sound romantic as you want.
It's called bad judgment. Get some perspective.

Speaker 2 Look at your life choices and make some changes.

Speaker 1 Well, or at least stop jumping. feet or headfirst into pools that don't have water in them.
You know what I mean? Make sure there's water in the pool.

Speaker 2 It's like driving through a stop sign and crashing a T-bonion car and saying, well, you know, I just love, I love just driving.

Speaker 2 I just love diving in. I see an intersection.
I just want to dive into it. It's like, no, there was a sign that said, stop.

Speaker 1 Look at it.

Speaker 2 Look at the signs.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 Cynthia's like, well, I'm really sad. I didn't get to go to Nigeria while you were with Simon because I really wanted to go to Nigeria.
And Porsche's like, I can still go there. I'm Nigerian.

Speaker 1 I found out.

Speaker 1 I found out my 44%.

Speaker 1 So look, I've got one of my sisters right here doing my makeup. Where are you? What's your tribe? And she's like, Your Ruba.
She goes, yeah, you're Ruba. We're the same.
I'm your sister.

Speaker 1 I used to be our wife.

Speaker 2 So Cynthia's like, so have you heard from Drew? Because I think she's divorced now, too. What I'm trying to do is check in on everyone who's going through divorce.

Speaker 2 And maybe one of you guys will say, hey, by the way, how are you going with your divorce from Jahil? But if you don't want to ask me, that's fine too.

Speaker 2 I'll just keep asking you guys about your divorces.

Speaker 1 Oh, so now they're talking about, you know, divorce, basically. And Cynthia's like, wait, wait, wait.
So, you know, what the hell? What do you, what are you talking about with Dennis and Drew?

Speaker 1 They're not dating, right? And she's like, yeah, Cynthia, please get further away from the camera. You're scaring my sister.
Please, please move it away.

Speaker 1 So Cynthia's like, well, I just need you to catch me all the way up because now it seems like you're back outside and you know everything. She's like, I went back outside.
Now I know too much.

Speaker 1 So then we go to party time. So Kelly's the first one to arrive.

Speaker 1 And Shamia's like, listen, we need to have a talk.

Speaker 1 You know, Porsche's my best friend. And you bringing her up at dinner and accusing her of cheating, you know, I didn't like that.
That made me feel very uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 Kelly's like, I'm sorry. Well, I never would want to make you feel uncomfortable.
I mean, you have an elevator in your home, so I'm going to be nice to you. She goes, thank you.

Speaker 2 Thank you for honoring my elevator. Have you heard my rain song?

Speaker 1 It goes, rain, rain.

Speaker 2 No, I have heard it. Actually, you sang it to me on the phone on the way in.
Okay, good.

Speaker 1 Well, I just now we're all uncomfortable. Thanks.

Speaker 2 I just, I didn't want to seem disingenuous or like shady, but I have to let you know, I did tell Portia, I did tell Portia that you said that.

Speaker 2 And Kelly's like, well, clearly you did because she already filmed a blog. And then we see Porsche's Amazon Live, Amazon Live, where it all goes down.
And Porsche's like,

Speaker 2 yeah, there's a new girl named Kelly, and she apparently owns restaurants, stuff like that. And like, I don't know her.
I don't know. I don't know.
Whatever.

Speaker 2 she has waffles. Who cares?

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's like, I don't know about that girl.
And by the way, I'm showing this wig from my go-naked line.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry the model couldn't show up. It's just on a trash can today.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 hopefully you guys will find that attractive enough to buy it. So then Kelly's like, you know, look, I'm going through a divorce just like Portia, and I know what it feels like to be cheated on.

Speaker 1 So that's where I was coming from.

Speaker 2 Well, and also, she says,

Speaker 2 I think I don't remember if I said, if I quoted Portia saying there's a girl named Kell, because then Kelly tells us, Portia, you definitely know the name because nobody calls me Kell.

Speaker 2 You better announce me as Kelly or the Queen of Waffles, honey.

Speaker 1 Queen of Waffles.

Speaker 2 Those are your options. It's either Kelly or Queen of Waffles.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. So to me, it's like, I didn't know you were cheated on.
Well, that makes me feel a little bit for you. It explains, you know what?

Speaker 1 Thank you for being so vulnerable okay because that's what we do here as the glue as the glue let me just say thank you so much for that and i want you guys to be good but i don't want to be in the middle of things okay and like don't worry about it i'm here to celebrate you okay i'll wait to go for portia until the second she walks in

Speaker 2 Can we hug? Okay, let's hug. Okay, I just don't want to be in the middle, but also I'm going to tell Portia everything we just talked about right now.
Okay, we're going to have so much fun tonight.

Speaker 1 And once again, from the top, rain, rain, go away come back another day so then it's party time and now there's like a violinist standing on some kind of platform in the foyer and playing the violin as people comes in or people come

Speaker 2 what i love new money

Speaker 2 they just new money is just the best they're just like let's just put a violin player in the foyer yeah why not

Speaker 1 Sorry, I interrupted. Go on.
No, go ahead. I was just reading.
I was just reading what was happening.

Speaker 1 So Cynthia comes in and she's like, Cynthia just sees a violin player and she just like looks at the wall. She's like,

Speaker 1 there's a violin. There's a violin player here.

Speaker 1 I haven't seen that since the opening of Peter's Pre.

Speaker 1 And she's like, this house doesn't even have an address. It's just called Sterling Hall.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And the producer asked Shamia where Gerald's money comes from. And she's like, well, he's an African king.
So, no, that's not true. He does HVAC.

Speaker 2 Some of the airports that you've walked through, my husband has built, manufactured, and installed the HVAC. So there you have it.
I mean,

Speaker 2 I love this new Atlanta. Basically, you have someone whose wealth comes from HVAC, someone who's an insurance agent, and someone who is the queen of waffles.
Like, this is what we need.

Speaker 1 Well, and that's also real money, right? Like HVAC money. And well, first of all, not only is he a rich, he's a god because there's nothing I need more than air conditioning.

Speaker 1 So I already love this man. We don't hear about this man the the entire episode, but I already love him because I love AC.

Speaker 1 But also the real money comes from real jobs, you know, like Stephanie's husband on Dallas, that guy installed like lockers, right? Didn't he put lockers in sports rooms? Yeah. And this guy does HVAC.

Speaker 1 You know, that's where the money is. It's real things.

Speaker 2 I think the final season of Dallas was like the fundraiser. They were doing like

Speaker 2 lockers for disadvantaged schools. So there, yeah, I mean, it is funny because

Speaker 2 it's always the people who are like, well, he does some sort of finance or he manages this or that or has a portfolio.

Speaker 2 They're always the ones who, it's like the Simons who are like, oh, it turns out they had no money after all.

Speaker 2 But it's the, but the people on these shows who are kind of doing practical things of just like building lockers or HVAC, like they're loaded. They're loaded.

Speaker 2 And they just have tons and tons of money.

Speaker 1 So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend Charles Oakley.

Speaker 1 Started with the Bulls, then the knicks we've been married for eight years now so catch that and we see a flashback of their life and they're playing horse or something and she's like teasing him about his stats and then she's like yeah you know to some people he can come off direct i was like yes an asshole husband thank god no housewives recipe is complete without the addition of an asshole old grumpy husband Exactly.

Speaker 2 And she's like, he's definitely a straight shooter. And I can get what I want out of him because I'm an alpha female.
I can work my way around Charles.

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Speaker 2 We're back to the party, and Cynthia and Kelly meet. And Cynthia's just like, um, uh, there's like a hot bartender.
Cynthia's like, so just to be clear, you don't come with a drink, right?

Speaker 2 And the guy's like,

Speaker 1 he's like, ha, ha, ha. She's like, oh, I'm kidding.
Would you marry me? Yes or no?

Speaker 2 He's like, ma'am, why are you speaking so close to me? Sorry.

Speaker 1 Been FaceTiming all day.

Speaker 1 So Cynthia's asking Kelly about herself and her kids and her sign. And oh my God, Cynthia's a Taurus.
She has an oldest daughter, or Kelly's oldest daughter is a Taurus, and Cynthia's a Taurus.

Speaker 1 And I'll know that.

Speaker 2 I drive one of those.

Speaker 1 No, we find out they're actually both Pisces. And they're like, oh my God, Red Pisces.
And she's like, yeah, I thought you could pick up some Pisces energy. You know, I know that we attract drama.

Speaker 1 And Kelly goes, no, we don't attract it. I think it finds us.
That means you attract it. it.

Speaker 1 Do Pisces just have to correct you over this?

Speaker 2 That's like dumb and dumber.

Speaker 1 You're not correct in the first place.

Speaker 2 That's like dumb and dumber. When it's like, what time do you want to meet? And she's like, how about quarter to seven? He's like, what about 6.45?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 also, you know, Cynthia Bailey, when I think of Cynthia Bailey, I just think of someone who is always attracting drama. So Kelly's like,

Speaker 2 she's like, yeah, I had to have a little uncomfortable uncomfortable conversation with Shamia earlier, you know, just a little bit, just about Portia.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, well, why did she steal that lady's husband? And Cynthia's like, oh my lord, Jesus.

Speaker 2 She's like, oh my God.

Speaker 2 Cynthia knows what's going on.

Speaker 1 And she's like, well, damn,

Speaker 1 if coming in hot was a person, it would be Miss Kelly.

Speaker 1 Or Drew, which is why I'm wearing Drew's John and Kate plus eight wig from the TLC via

Speaker 2 this comparison. Drew comes in hot, but only because she's wearing hot sauce per Dennis's orders.
He says it's going to advance her musical career.

Speaker 2 We don't understand it, but we're just going to go with it. So

Speaker 2 Portia's like.

Speaker 2 So Portia's like, yeah, she's never shy. And Kelly's like, good, neither am I.
I'm sorry, Cynthia says that.

Speaker 2 So then more people arrive and then Kelly's talking to some of the ladies and she goes, so I hope you all see that Shamia has my cookbook in the kitchen.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm going to have to get all my girls my cookbooks. And we see her cookbook, which is called Cooking with Kelly, but it's spelled cooking with a K.

Speaker 1 So it's like cookie, like cooking,

Speaker 1 cooking with Kelly.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, I have to look this up. Cooking with Kelly.

Speaker 1 Cooking with Kelly.

Speaker 1 It's cooking.

Speaker 1 Cooking with Kelly.

Speaker 1 Is it really with a Kelly?

Speaker 1 Well, I cook.

Speaker 1 What is this?

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 This poor girl.

Speaker 2 Okay, on Amazon, it has 13 reviews. Oh, Oh, so I guess out of print, limited availability.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 It has 3.8 stars. Oh, that's not very good.
Here, let's read the rating. Let's read the reviews.

Speaker 1 Shrimp and grits, they love that. And then there's only, wait, how many reviews are there? I think there's only two reviews.
Let me see.

Speaker 1 So the first one is from Miami Charger, and it says, I love this cookbook and I highly recommend it. Shrimp and Grits.
And then another person says, one star, very few recipes.

Speaker 1 And they're both from 2019. Well, maybe it'll take off now that the show's here.

Speaker 1 And it's also a collection with a K.

Speaker 1 Kooking with Kelly, a K election of family recipes from Nana's chicken. I'm surprised you didn't call it Cannas.
Cannas

Speaker 1 and Coffles.

Speaker 2 I think that my confusion about Chloe and all the CH names is... makes sense because like you're doing a K thing with the book, but then you switched over to CH.
We were children.

Speaker 2 So like what happened?

Speaker 2 Where did the

Speaker 1 what went wrong?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 now Angela's saying that she doesn't really cook and thank God because her husband doesn't like her cooking anyway.

Speaker 1 So then Drew comes in and like a Patsy from AbFabwig. I'm not really sure what she's doing with this.
So she comes in and she knows Kelly through my social media manager.

Speaker 1 He brought me some of her chicken and waffles and she makes very good waffles. So I basically got some free waffles.
That's how I know this lady.

Speaker 2 And then Angela says, Drew and I share the same hairstylist. We actually spoke for the first time, maybe three years ago.
I like her personality. She's chill.

Speaker 2 She's from Chicago, but she did not play on the Bulls like my husband, Charles Oakley, did.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 1 So then we see them FaceTiming a flashback of Drew being like, I'm going through so much over here.

Speaker 1 Oh, gosh, we'll lean on each other, right? We're both shy-town girls. And Angela's like, I'm here for you.
Now, who do I have to beat up? Who? Who? Who do I have to beat up?

Speaker 1 We're going to be such good friends on this show. Now, Angela's going to hate this girl.
Thank you. Drop her

Speaker 2 so quickly.

Speaker 2 They barely know each other. You know that they barely know each other.
They met once briefly through a messy hairstylist.

Speaker 2 So, because, and I say messy only because every staff member that Drew has brought onto the show has been incredibly messy. So Cynthia is talking to Drew and she's like, oh, Drew, we got to catch up.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen you since you and Ralph got divorced. If you want to ask me about me and Mike, I'm happy to give you some information about that too.

Speaker 2 Just like, I know we have so much to catch up on, but like, I don't have so many answers. So then Brittany is like, So, are you guys publicly dating? Is he publicly dating? Are you publicly dating?

Speaker 2 What's going on?

Speaker 2 And Drew's like, Girl, I mean, I have people that are showing interest, but I just, I feel like I have to put a lot, I have to put a dot and a period on this situation because it's a lot going on.

Speaker 1 So, then this is where Angela is like, oh my God, my wig, the glue, the glue, the glue is being melted in this heat. I can't.
Charles, is my hair okay? And he's like, go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 But Charles, I mean, it's okay, right?

Speaker 1 Go to the bathroom and fix yourself.

Speaker 2 He's like, don't, just go, just go, just do it.

Speaker 2 So Angela's like, today I thought I was being cute. However, it was so hot.
So I'm trying to use the fan to stop the wig from running. And my, my forehead.

Speaker 2 Oh, that, that wig, that wig is just leaving.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Can't do it.
So then all the ladies are in white. It's a white party, right? So they're like, where's Shamia? Where's Shamia?

Speaker 1 And where's Porsche? Why isn't Portia still here? And then we see 6.15 p.m. Porsche's still getting her hair and makeup done.
And

Speaker 1 so now Kenya's here.

Speaker 1 So they start talking with Kenya and Kenya's still not divorced. And Britt's like, wow, five of you are going through a divorce.
Wow, you're going through a divorce. You're going through a divorce.

Speaker 1 God, you're like mini bands on an Oprah show. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 and kenya's like oh yeah britt and you're married oh because oh uh because you don't have your other ring are you married are you engaged and and britt's like um i'm married that's my second wedding ring that's the second one and kenny's like oh from a different guy or

Speaker 2 kenya's just like kenya's so good at being at just like

Speaker 2 just poke she just finds the trigger area so quickly and she's able to poke it and like immediately there's tension between these two yeah was I the only one who didn't think this was so bad?

Speaker 1 Cause she said, this is my second wedding ring. And everybody's like been married multiple times or a lot of these people.
So I didn't think it was that weird.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, from a different guy. And she's like, no, one husband, one man.
She goes, no, I didn't know if you were married before. And she goes, well, no, this is the upgrade.

Speaker 1 This is the anniversary ring. And she's like, oh, an anniversary of the first ring.

Speaker 2 Well, because what Kenya picks up on right away is that, is that Brit is, when she's like, oh my God, like everyone's going through a divorce kind of doing that thing like and I'm the one who's still married she's kind of doing the Kristen Takeman on girls trip thing and Kenya does not like that Kenya picks up on it so now she's gonna act she's gonna kind of like nag her ring a little bit and then nag the relationship and um and it works i mean she totally gets under this girl's skin and it's just what kenya is so good at like comes so easily for her and so effortlessly yeah and it's also so obnoxious when someone's like newly where newly married comparing themselves to people who have been divorced after like 10 to 15 years, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Annoying.

Speaker 1 So she goes, well, Kelly's like, well, listening to Kenya's comment, I mean, that's unnecessary shade, you know? And I don't think you should be able to speak on anybody's ring if you don't have one.

Speaker 1 Oh, please. That's not true.
I'm like that. I don't like qualifying judgment.

Speaker 2 I can judge whoever wants to. I can speak on people's rings.
Yeah, exactly. So Brittany is saying that

Speaker 2 she was her husband's insurance agent. That's what they met.
And so Kenya's like, well, she's like, oh, so you're more than a good neighbor.

Speaker 2 And she's like, yeah, well, he found out he was in good hands and he hasn't left my side since.

Speaker 1 So then Angela comes back and her hair looks totally different, you know. Who knows what she's done to it? And she's like, yep, the glue's gone.
Got to upgrade the glue.

Speaker 1 So she goes, I just had to freshen up, guys. I just had to freshen up.
So she's got like tape. She's got like gift tape from the the junk drawer around her head.

Speaker 2 She looks like she just had a head injury. It's like

Speaker 2 it's like shiny duct tape.

Speaker 1 They're like, is that the pillowcases from the couch tied around her head? Nope.

Speaker 1 Nope.

Speaker 1 I was wearing.

Speaker 2 Are you wearing a plastic bag?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 Shamia comes out. So, of course, she's wearing blue because it's that thing.

Speaker 2 You make all the guests wear one thing, but then you show, like, everyone's forced to wear white, and everyone's like, oh, I have to wear white, but then she gets to wear blue. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So she does a speech and and like, she's like, it just feels so good.

Speaker 1 I can't twerk. I can't twerk.

Speaker 1 Rain, rain, go away.

Speaker 2 So she's like, it just feels so good to have all my friends from all my walks of life under one roof. And by under one roof, I mean outside where there's no roof.

Speaker 2 But I'm a little bit nervous about bringing all these friendships together. Can't we all just hang out? Turn up for my birthday.

Speaker 1 Where's Porsche? Where's Porsche? Where's Porsche? So she comes down and Britt and Kelly are talking and they're like, well, Kenya was a little standoffish.

Speaker 1 And Brittany's like, yeah, she was like, where's your wedding band? And I'm like, sweetheart, if all you need to know is I'm married and you're going through a divorce, but I'm married.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's bad. You should never shame somebody for being divorced because it's going to be a- And don't see it on camera.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this will be used against you.

Speaker 2 This will be a black and white flashback.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's like, look at this rock. Never put so much.

Speaker 1 of your pride. Don't base all of your pride on getting a diamond from a man.
That's just so sad.

Speaker 1 So I'm I'm not saying you shouldn't like be happy about it, but having your whole personality like, well, look at my ring that I got from some man. No, that's sad.

Speaker 2 We don't care about the rocks that you got. So then Britt says, I'm the youngest.

Speaker 1 I've got

Speaker 1 state farm from the block.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got flow from the block. So Britt is like, I'm the youngest of three girls and my sisters are hard on me and they're like tough on me.

Speaker 2 So if you come to me being a hater, like trying to, like, you know, trying to try me or like size me up, I pick up all that very quickly.

Speaker 2 Like, oh, so when Kenya Moore says something to you and it's shady, you pick up on it.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Wow. What an instinct you have.

Speaker 1 You're like a Doppler. Just crazy.

Speaker 1 So then Shamia is sitting with the ladies and someone comes over and they're like, oh, I have a surprise for you outside.

Speaker 1 So we know it's going to be the obligatory new housewife gets a brand new car to prove that she's really rich for the housewives audience.

Speaker 2 I would like a non-car surprise surprise to be outside for one of these parties because like you said, every single time someone's inside and they say, there's a surprise for you outside.

Speaker 1 I have a new recycling bin that doesn't smell like cottage cheese from 13 years ago.

Speaker 2 When you put in an order for a new trash bin from the city, it takes three years for them to give it to you, but we got you one ahead of schedule. Congratulations.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. So she got a Cullinan.
Is that how you pronounce it? I'm too poor to pronounce it. I can't pronounce Colin.

Speaker 2 Rolls-Royce, Cullinan.

Speaker 2 It's a Rolls-Royce, Kieran Culkin, for $430,000.

Speaker 1 It's a Rolls-Royce. Hey, who knew it would end up being better than Macaulay?

Speaker 2 I was like calling them.

Speaker 2 So she got an Andrew Canana and Rolls-Royce, and Angela is like...

Speaker 1 $430,000.

Speaker 1 Wow. Well,

Speaker 2 talk about needing insurance. So Angela says, My husband, I'm punching him.
Like, I hope you're looking because these are the type of gifts that I want.

Speaker 2 You know, she's like, and you're an NBA player, so you better get this for me. So Cynthia is like,

Speaker 2 if I had, if I, if I had these kinds of birthday presents, I might have tried to make my marriages work. Like, yeah, I can really see Mike and Peter being able to pay for these things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She's like, Peter just gave me a half drunk cold cup of coffee on my

Speaker 1 birthday.

Speaker 2 Peter said he was going to get me rolls for my birthday. And fortunately, I'm just a bag of Hawaiian rolls.

Speaker 2 It's exciting for a moment.

Speaker 1 So Shamia's doing like the, oh my God, it's a car. Everybody, I got a car.
And they're like, oh my God, Shamia got a car. She's like, look at my car, everybody.

Speaker 1 And then Shamia, I mean, Porsche walks right up behind her. It's like, Shamia, it's me.
I'm here finally. She's like,

Speaker 1 I am accepting my car. It's me.
Look at me. It's me reacting to Shamia getting a a car

Speaker 2 yeah it this was shitty because first of all she shows up two hours late and then at the moment when this is shamia she is like she is an actress this is her moment she is the center everyone is looking at her and then portia comes up and is like standing on stage with her essentially um sort of shamelessly and unapologetically not only being there late but sort of like taking up that moment where now shamia has to like shamia can't be like waving at the crowds and doing her whole bit about being like oh my god it's a car She has to like tend to Portia.

Speaker 2 And it's not a great, it's not a great look on Portia's part, by the way. She just tells her,

Speaker 1 you're a little late. And then she continues trying to be happy, but she's pissed.
And she tells us, listen, you know,

Speaker 1 let's be clear. I'm a fan of letting everybody, everybody's light shine.
However, in this moment. To the left.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and Kelly's kind of like, if it were me, I would have just like snuck in and hid in the crowd and been like, I was here all this time.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 now Portia's helping Shami upstairs doing a wardrobe change.

Speaker 1 And Portia's like, I'm so sorry, I'm late girl.

Speaker 2 She's like, well, there's nothing I can do about it.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 2 you know, I'm just

Speaker 2 a tube of Elmer's glue. And I guess you're the construction paper.

Speaker 1 She's like, yeah, you look gorgeous. Yeah, she's clearly pissed.
And then Portia's like, you know, she knows my intentions is always to be there for her.

Speaker 1 But, you know, when you have a party at that time, the traffic's insane.

Speaker 2 you also live in buckhead that used to be portia's excuse when she would go anywhere else because she's like but i live in buckhead now but shamia also lives in buckhead i don't think you have the same excuse portia has been late to every single thing that she's ever like shown up to on this show so like At a certain point, you know, it's like, it's one thing if you're 10 minutes late, but to be two hours late and be like, oh man, you were doing makeup.

Speaker 2 We saw you.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, I thought that would be one thing that production would make Portia promise.
Like, if we're going to bring you back to the show, you cannot make us wait for four hours for shit, Portia.

Speaker 1 Cause like there were times where Portia was like four or five hours late to stuff. The shooting would be over, you know, and then she'd show up and try and start a fight just to get her paycheck in.

Speaker 1 And it's like, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Come to work.

Speaker 2 But that being said.

Speaker 2 Let's not act like the producers did not happily schedule the timing of this to be just like this because they know it's going to create friction between these friends. I mean, this is how it happens.

Speaker 2 So Cynthia and Kenya, meanwhile, are catching up. And Cynthia is saying, well, apparently, Shamia went out with Kelly and Britt.

Speaker 2 And Kelly apparently made a comment, like, you know, what's going on with people stealing people's men?

Speaker 1 And Kenya's like, ha ha ha, hide your husband, hide your wife.

Speaker 2 Cynthia's like, I don't get it.

Speaker 2 What is that?

Speaker 1 She's like, well, long story short, Kel was upset that Shamia went back and told Portia what they discussed.

Speaker 1 And Kenya's like, oh my God, so why was Kelly upset? She goes, well, I don't know. I don't think it's a thing, but in this circle of young, fresh people, it can become a thing.
It can become a thing.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, my God, a little thing can become a big thing.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go do it. So she walks right over to the group and she's like, so.
Oh, and Britt starts with her first. She's like, Kenya, can I get a hug? Because I saw how you greeted me.

Speaker 1 And she goes, how did I greet you? Did I hug anybody though? Did I hug anybody?

Speaker 2 Yeah, because that's the other thing is that when Kenya came in, she hugged all like lots of people, but she did not hug Britt.

Speaker 2 And so Kenya is like, well, I mean I hugged Cynthia I mean Cynthia is my best friend and like you're over here causing trouble already and she's like we're causing trouble what am I mayhem get it mayhem commercials insurance okay um so I talked to like so I talked to my friend like what's the big deal she's like you talked to who she's like Cynthia okay so listen what we what were you upset about was Shamia taking information you know and so Kelly is like well you know we had dinner the other night and like me Shamia and Brit, you know, know, and I was like, well, why did Portia take that man's husband?

Speaker 1 And Kenny just cracks up. She's like, ah,

Speaker 1 okay, Kelly.

Speaker 1 And Britt's like, can we not acknowledge the elephant in the room? Okay. And that was the elephant in the room.
And Porsche is right there. She's like, oh, hi, Portia.
Hi.

Speaker 1 And they're like, hi, Portia.

Speaker 1 And so Portia comes in and says hello to everybody. And Kelly's like, okay, so my question was, why did she take that woman's husband? And Portia's like, oh my God, God, that's your opening line.
Wow.

Speaker 1 What's your name again? And she's like, um, my name? Let me give you a hint. I have a cookbook starting with the word K.

Speaker 1 Chrissy Teigen?

Speaker 2 No. So Portia's like,

Speaker 2 this is my first time meeting you. So anything else you want to know besides that? Because like, what's your, like, who are you? Where are you from?

Speaker 2 She goes, so Kelly's like, I'm just asking a simple question.

Speaker 2 And I have to say, I did like how Kelly did not shy away from the fact that she was shady the night before and she was not afraid to go up against like one of the biggest stars to come out of the show.

Speaker 2 And she just, she just was like, yeah, I just asked, why'd you take that guy's, why'd you take that woman's husband? And I think it caught Portia off guard. I don't think Portia was expecting that.

Speaker 1 So Britt's like, oh my God. I'm like, oh my God.
Okay, look, Kelly can be spicy, but that's my girl. And Angela's like, oh, I know she's joking, right? I mean, you're joking, but she was dead serious.

Speaker 1 And Kelly's like, yeah, but you didn't answer my question. And Portia's like, um, I don't want to talk to you.
Answered the question. No, I don't even know you.
She goes, you know me.

Speaker 1 You've spoken on me on Amazon Live. And she goes, um, I don't know you.
And then she turns to Britt and she goes, is that your friend? And she goes, that's my girl. And let me tell you, she's sweet.

Speaker 1 Okay. I think she just wanted to address the elephant in the room.
I'm the type of person that says elephant in the room a lot.

Speaker 1 So if we could just address the elephant in the room, that would be great. Porch, I don't care anymore.
It's okay.

Speaker 2 So Drew's like, well, I couldn't hear what you all were saying.

Speaker 2 sort of like ralph when i call down to him from the first floor he always says he can't hear me so they go upstairs to a different to a quiet notice that i have to give the kids a quarter to pass the basement door every time they go down there

Speaker 1 so kelly's like i stand on business waffle business and the women who can't own what they're doing or saying is a joke to me it's maple syrup without gold flakes in it and i won't stand for it and force is like this jake is weird So

Speaker 2 now

Speaker 2 they all take the elevator and a lot of elevator action this episode.

Speaker 2 Like that's the ongoing theme, which is why you mentioned earlier that it should be a character because it's a lot of elevator scenes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they go to the elevator because they have to move rooms because they can't fight. They're like, wow, this is a real party and we need to be able to fight.

Speaker 2 They're like in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So they all, they all get, they all, um, they're all gathering in this new area. And so Shami is like, speaking of birthdays, I didn't get invited to your birthday, Drew.

Speaker 2 And Drew's like, oh, no one got invited to my birthday. And Portia's like, I got invited to your birthday.
It's like, well, I mean, but you didn't come, by the way.

Speaker 1 She's like, well, Dennis invited me to your birthday.

Speaker 2 She's like, Kenya's like, wait, why is Dennis inviting someone else to your birthday?

Speaker 1 She's like, it was a surprise, you know, I just didn't know anything, but I did send my assistant everybody's numbers. And we all know my assistant, he's very shady, and he didn't invite anybody.

Speaker 1 So she blames her assistant for everything. She has the sloppiest assistant.
I love it. I know.

Speaker 2 Wait, you're going to tell me you told your assistant, invite these people to my birthday and your assistant didn't invite a single person to your birthday. And you're like, chill with that? No,

Speaker 2 no, this is, this is a lie.

Speaker 1 It was a surprise, but I gave my assistant a list of people I wanted to invite to my surprise. So

Speaker 1 which I guess he messed up on. So, but it was a huge party still of all my friends, except you guys.
guys. So she's still full of it, in other words.

Speaker 1 So then Porsche's like, but Dennis, who's your assistant, Dennis? And she's like, Joshimia goes, well, Drew, I would be inauthentic if I didn't ask, are you dating Dennis now? Like, dumb, don't you?

Speaker 2 And that's where it ended.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 A wild, wild. Well, it was a good episode.
I really enjoyed it. That was, it was super fun.
I am really excited.

Speaker 2 I'm hoping that the energy of this first episode continues throughout the season because

Speaker 2 we, you know, it's nice to see Atlanta being like really funny again and

Speaker 2 having a lot of stuff going on. So anyway, thanks everyone for being here.
Go to watchcrappins.com to get your tickets to come see us this weekend and, you know, or later on in March or April or May.

Speaker 2 And we will catch you on the next episode.

Speaker 1 Bye, everyone.

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Speaker 2 Picture this.

Speaker 5 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 5 Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water. And it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 5 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 5 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 5 And this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 5 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.