#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach

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Hi everyone, welcome back. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe. So that way you always get your episodes.
But enough of that. Let's get right back into the episode.
So then they're talking about who's coming to the party. And Shamia has invited Drew and Ralph, which is weird.

And they're like, aren't they going through a divorce?

He goes, I don't know.

I mean, whatever.

And so Britt's like, well, I heard at the real estate party, at the real estate Oscars, I heard that Drew is dating Dennis.

They're like, Dennis?

Dennis the hot dog Dennis?

And Shamia's like, well, they were working together. But together but you know I heard that they were at the club holding hands and Britt's like I didn't hear that they were booed up she goes I don't really know Drew that well but I heard some things about Drew and it's a mess okay word gets around in insurance circles so Kelly's Kelly then says that Dennis was in her DMs and they like, what? Kelly's like, yeah, I posted a bathing suit photo.
And he was like, if there's no way you've got four kids, OMG. And I'm like, oh, and they're like, oh my God, Dennis.
And like, did you respond? And she's like, no, of course I didn't respond. I mean, I sent him some free mimosa mix.
They're like, you mean orange juice? Mimosa mix. But that's it.
And and brit's like nobody wants to see that hot dog i went on one date with him back in the day and he came on the date and he brought me a diamond necklace as a gift um are you sure this was like a date or was this like a date because that's crazy he's like he's like i'd like to get this necklace insured she's like thank you so much for the gift. He's like, no, I, I want to know how much I can get it.
I take out a policy on this necklace for me. Thank you so much.
Cause Brit, I think the thing that Kenya ends up accusing her of is like being a call girl or something later. Right.
And she's saying like, Oh, I've even got these pictures of you with like dicks or something. And she puts them up at some party or something.
Spoiler alert. So I guess that's the talk about Brit.
So getting a diamond necklace on a first date is a little. So then Brit's like, yeah, he didn't get my tatas on the date because he didn't even know me, but he did come bearing gifts.
So she was like, so you were definitely the girl, that girl back in the day. She's like, yeah, I was like a little video vixen back in high school.
Like I was a high school girl. And she's like, no, she's like, yeah, I was in black men magazine, all the magazines back then.
Yeah. I was like in high school.
And she says, she says like nothing happened. There was like no spark, but you know, diamonds are a girl's best friend.
So I definitely wasn't returning any gifts. So she kept her time in the necklace, but also like why is dennis giving a diamond necklace on a first date that's a little weird yeah so then well he was kind of like that with porsche right at the beginning he was giving her bombs lavish gifts and stuff like that now no one ever said whether they went and got this stuff like looked at by a jeweler because that's kind of what i'm curious about so then um brit's like Like, let's just say they all will like we're best friends which you know is going to be destroyed by the end of the episode so then we go to portia and shimmy and they're like we are crazy wild girls shimmy is like i have a peach we're going to a strip club yeah so they go and they're like oh whoa and they're gonna they're like don't worry girls we're gonna tip you so porsha's like wow with my divorce being so public like and so stressful like i haven't been outside for like for real so like shami is like such a great friend and like if she says that like my that ass clapping shot ass clapping and shots gonna make you feel better then i'm gonna roll with her in this one yeah so Shamia's like, well, have you talked to Simon? Because he texted me this morning.
He said, congratulations on the peach. Can't wait to see you and Gerald in that beautiful Buckhead mansion.
And I said, thanks, bro. It was supposed to be all of us.
And she's like, yeah, he has more things to be concerned about than the peach. So Shamia's like, I just feel like he's chasing that, like he's chasing anything that's attached to you.
You know, he's been in the box every single day. And Portia's like, yeah, every little thing, everything.
His posting, his constant attacks. Him talking to all my friends, him lying, he's a nightmare.
You definitely shouldn't have called him bro, because he's not a bro. So Shamir's like, okay, he's not.
He's Simon. That's who he is.
So Shamir's like, well, the girls brought it up here last night. She's like, well, what girls? She's like, oh, yeah, we recast the show.
There's new people on the show. So Kelly and Brittany, you know Kelly, who does waffles and Brittany who does insurance? Yeah.
So they were like, why did, Kelly was like, why did she take that lady's man? Yeah, she's like, that's her energy? Come on. And she's like, oh my gosh, now everyone's smearing my name already.
I mean, you can just be like everyone else, like, I'm online. Be black too.
I don't care. So they're having this serious conversation.
Meanwhile, there's this lady behind them clapping her ass cheeks. I can't even call it clapping her ass.
I don't know what the fuck were going on with these ass cheeks. Were they robot ass cheeks? One was like doing the wax on, wax off.
One was doing the paint on, paint off. One was like rubbing the belly.
One was like patting the head. That was the most talented pair of cheeks I've ever seen in my life.
I don't even know how anyone paid attention to this scene. Yeah.
Well, you know, I feel like in Atlanta, like the stripper arts are really elevated. Like that's, you know, like, like Florence is like the home of the Renaissance and Atlanta, like that's where our like stripper Renaissance painters are.
They just know how to do it so well down there. Yeah, they really do.
Remember when we went to swinging dicks? What a night. Oh yeah, of course.
That was Richards. I mean, swinging Richards.
I mean, that was Yeah. it swung too hard swung too close to the sun it knocked itself in the face with its own dong so many times it just plumb knocked itself out yeah i will never ever forget what happened there uh it was it was a wild place so we ran into crappin's listeners there too that was Yeah, that was fun.
So she, me is like, you know, but then they asked me about drew and cause I had heard about Dennis and drew hanging out, you know, and I heard they were at a club and she goes, yeah, for her birthday. Right.
Wait a minute. Another night with my job.
My job's on the floor. Yeah.
So

so then

she's like, Portia's like

saying, wait, where am I?

I got lost in my notes here.

Maybe all that sweet and Richard's got me disoriented.

I know, but you really are

going back into bed.

No, I actually got lost in my notes.

Okay, Ben, it's your turn.

He's like,

no, I'm seeing something about a chicken shack.

And I'm like, wait, are we talking about a chicken shack?

They're talking about how Portia trusted Drew, and she's always been a supportive friend.

And then we see, I don't think we saw this back in the day, but at the last reunion when Portia wasn't in the season,

Drew is in the makeup chair calling Portia for advice, which I thought was really funny.

So she's like What you're not going to do

Is that I'm

Thank you. union when porsha wasn't in the season drew is in the makeup chair calling porsha for advice which i thought was really funny so um she's like what you're not gonna do is let him take you because you're the only one who's been so vulnerable and open and let them spread out the issues you got this uh and drew's like see that's all i need and multiple people are blushing her.
She's like, that's all I need. Portia, friends forever.
Friends forever. So Portia tells us, I mean, she's like, even right now, Drew's an influencer for my company, Go Naked Hair.
But all this behind the scenes bullshit sneaking around with my child's father, to me, that's just crossing the line. Yeah, but how are you going to call yourself a friend of Drew's when you make her look like that in these ads? We see a shot of Drew with this go-naked hair.
You might as well go naked. What the hell is she wearing? Oh, my God.
Poor thing. So now we see everyone getting ready for the party, and we're at Brett's.
I've been on Tubi. Can I get something a little higher class than this? She's like, I just hope I can make the big jump from Tubi to Mubi.
Because I think there's Tubi and Mubi. Right? Tubi is where Drusadora is.
And Mubi is where Demi Moore is. Okay.
And I'm not even joking. So then we see everybody getting ready for the party.
And Britt's talking to her husband, Michael. And he seems very sour, which I like.
And he's like, you know, everybody's going to be drinking. She's like, well, I'm not going to drink too much because, you know, I can be extra.
And let's face it, it's not just my reputation here. It's insurance's reputation.
So don't worry about me. It'll be just fine.
Yeah, I have to be like a good neighbor. So then we go to Shamiya and her mom, and the mom's saying, you are Jesus's favorite daughter, and you can get a direct call to him, and I need you to tell him.
Well, I guess Shia's saying this, sorry, to her mom. And she starts singing, Rain, rain, go away, come again, another day.
I'm like, wow. It's probably a lot to live in Shamia's house.
It's a lot. It probably takes a lot of patience.
And I thought, oh, that's cute. And then it just kept going and going.
She's like leaning up against the doorway, singing. I singing i mean listen bueller has to put up with that shit all the time but she's like i wasn't a i wasn't a biopic about tlc so with that with no further ado i don't need no rain rain is the weather i can't get no rain me hanging on the passenger side of my best friend's cloud trying rain on my party.
Like, okay, Shamia. I think it's...
I'm sorry. I apologize to our audience.
That was... No one needed to hear that.
No one needed to hear an attempt to do No Scrubs with Rain when I didn't remember half the lyrics. I apologize.
That was a bridge too far. Bridge too far.
No rubber dub dubs. No man in no tubs.
So now Portia is FaceTiming with Cynthia and Cynthia is doing that thing, like talking to your mom. Either your mom has the phone on the ground and you're like, Mom, I can't see your face.
Or she's got it like this. Or she's like, Mom, I can see your nose hairs back.
I can see your pores. So she's like, why are you so close? So Cynthia's like, hi, so I heard everything about you and Simon.
And I was like, you know, you and I fall fast. That's what we do.
Even though there may be red flags everywhere. If there's one thing that we love, we love going to an amusement park.
And our favorite amusement park is Six Flags. So bring on the red flags.

And first of all, we fall in, we fall fast with both feet.

And I love when people say that.

That's how they try to excuse their terrible judgment.

They're like, well, you know, what can we say?

We fall in love fast.

We fall hard.

We fall fast.

We dive in with both feet.

That's just the type of people we are.

It's called bad judgment. You have bad judgment.
You can try to make it sound romantic as you want. It's called bad judgment.
Get some perspective. Look at your life choices and make some changes.
Well, or at least stop jumping head first into pools that don't have water in them. You know what I mean? Make sure there's water in the pool.
It's like driving through a stop sign and crashing a T-bone in a car

and saying, well, you know,

I just love driving.

I just love diving in.

I see an intersection.

I just want to dive into it.

It's like, no, there was a sign that said stop.

Look at it.

Look at the signs.

Petersburg.

So then Cynthia's like,

well, I'm really sad

I didn't get to go to Nigeria while you were with Simon because I really wanted to go to Nigeria. And Portia's like, I can still go there.
I'm Nigerian. I found out.
I found out my 44%. So, look, I've got one of my sisters right here doing my makeup.
Where are you? What's your tribe? And she's like, Yoruba. She goes, yeah, Yoruba, we're the same.
I'm your sister. I used to be our wife.
So Cynthia's like, so have you heard from Drew? Because I think she's divorced now too. What I'm trying to do is check in on everyone who's going through divorce and maybe one of you guys will say, hey, by the way, how are you going with your divorce from Jahil? But if you don't want to ask me, that's fine too.
I'll just keep asking you guys about your divorces. So now they're talking about, you know, divorce, basically.

And Cynthia's like, wait, wait, wait.

So, you know, what the hell?

What are you talking about with Dennis and Drew?

They're not dating, right?

And she's like, yeah, Cynthia, please get further away from the camera.

You're scaring my sister.

Please, please move it away. So Cynthia's like, well, I just need you to catch me all the way up because now it seems like you're back outside and you know everything.
She's like, I went back outside. Now I know too much.
So then we go to party time. So Kelly is the first one to arrive.
And Shamia's like, listen, we need to have a talk.

Portia's my best friend,

and you bringing her up at dinner and accusing her

of cheating, you know, I didn't

like that. That made me feel very uncomfortable.

Kelly's like,

I'm sorry, well, I never would want to make you feel uncomfortable.

I mean, you have an elevator in your home, so I'm going to be nice

to you. She goes, thank you.
Thank you for honoring

my elevator. Have you heard my

rain song? It goes, rain, rain. No, I have heard it.
Actually, you sang it to me on the phone on the way in. Okay, good.
Now we're all uncomfortable. Thank you.
I didn't want to seem disingenuous or shady, but I have to let you know, I did tell Portia that you said that. And I was like, well, clearly you did because she already filmed a blog.
And then we see Portia's Amazon

Live. Amazon Live, where it all

goes down. And Portia's like,

Yeah, there's a new girl named Kelly

and she apparently owns restaurants, stuff like that.

And like, I don't know her. I don't know.

I don't know. Whatever.
She has

waffles. Who cares? Yeah, she's like, I don't

know about that girl. And by

the way, I'm showing this wig from my Go

Naked line. I'm sorry the model couldn't show up.
It's just on a trash can today. So hopefully you guys will find that attractive enough to buy it.
So then Kelly's like, you know, look, I'm going through a divorce just like Portia and I know what it feels like to be cheated on. So that's where I was coming from.
Well, and also she says, um, I think I'm, I don't remember if I said, uh, if I quoted

Portia saying there's a girl named Kel, because then Kelly tells us, Portia, you definitely

know the name because nobody calls me Kel. You better announce me as Kelly or the queen

of waffles, honey.

Queen of waffles.

Those are your options. It's either Kelly or queen of waffles.
That's it. Oh God.
So to me, it's like, I didn't know you were cheated on. Well, that makes me feel a little bit for you.
It explains, you know what? Thank you for being so vulnerable. Okay.
Cause that's what we do here as the glue, as the glue. Let me just say, thank you so much for that.
And I want you guys to be good, but I don't want to be in the middle of things. And she's like, don't worry about it.
I'm here to celebrate you. I'll wait to go for Portia until the second she walks in.
Can we hug? Okay, let's hug. I just don't want to be in the middle, but also I'm going to tell Portia everything we just talked about right now.
Okay, we're going to have so much fun again from the top rain rain go away come back another day so then it's party time and now there's like a violinist standing on some kind of platform in the foyer and playing the violin as people comes in people come money what i love new money they just new money is the best. They're just like, let's just put a violin player in the foyer.
Why not? Sorry, I interrupted. Go on.
No, go ahead. I was just reading what was happening.
So Cynthia comes in and she's like, Cynthia just sees a violin player and she just like looks at the wall. She's like, there's a violin player here.
I haven't seen that since the opening of Peter's Brew. And she's like, this house doesn't even have an address.
It's just called Sterling Hall. Yeah.
And the producer asked Shamia where Gerald's money comes from. And she's like, well, he's an African king.
So, no, that's not true. He does HVAC.
Some of the airports that you've walked through, my husband has built, manufactured, and installed the HVAC. So there you have it.
I mean, I love this new Atlanta. Basically, you have someone whose wealth comes from HVAC, someone who's an insurance agent, and someone who is the queen of waffles.
This is what we need well and it's that's also real money right like hvac money and well first of all not only is he a rich he's a god because there's nothing i need more than air conditioning so i already love this man we don't hear about of this man the entire episode but i already love him because i love ac but also the real money comes from real jobs you you know, like Stephanie's husband on Dallas.

That guy installed like lockers, right?

Didn't he put lockers in sports rooms?

Yeah.

And this guy does HVAC, you know, that's where the money is real things.

I think the final season of Dallas was like a fundraiser. They were doing like lockers for disadvantaged schools.

So, yeah, I mean, it is funny because it's always the it's always the people who are like, well, he does some sort of finance or he manages this or that or has a portfolio. They're always the ones who, it's like the Simons, who was like, oh, it turns out they had no money after all.
But the people on these shows who are kind of doing practical things of just like building lockers or HVAC, like they're loaded. They're loaded and they just have tons and tons of money.
So then we see the Oakleys. So Angela's like, I am married to NBA legend Charles Oakley.
Started with the Bulls, then the Knicks. We've been married for eight years now.
So catch that. And we see a flashback of their life and they're playing horse or something.
And she's like teasing him about his stats. And then she's like, yeah, you know, to some people he can come off direct.
I was like, yes, an asshole husband. Thank God.
No housewives recipe is complete without the addition of an asshole, old grumpy husband. Exactly.
And she's like, he's definitely a straight shooter and I can get what I want out of him because I'm an alpha female. I can work my way around Charles.
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See nerdwallet.com for details. We're back to the party and Cynthia and Kelly meet and Cynthia's just like um, uh, there's like a hot bartender.
Cynthia's like, so, just to be clear, you don't come with a drink, right? And the guy's like, she's like, oh, I'm kidding. Would you marry me? Yes or no? He's like, ma'am, why are you speaking so close to me? Sorry.
I've been FaceTiming all day. So Cynthia's asking Kelly about herself and her kids and her sign.
And, oh, my God, Cynthia's a Taurus.

She has an oldest daughter.

Kelly's oldest daughter's a Taurus and Cynthia's a Taurus.

And, oh, my God, I drive one of those.

No, we find out they're actually both Pisces.

And they're like, oh, my God, we're Pisces.

And she's like, yeah, I thought you could pick up some Pisces energy.

You know, I know that we attract drama.

And Kelly goes, no, we don't attract it. I think it finds us.
That means you attract it. Do Pisces just have to correct you over things that aren't correct in the first place? That's like dumb and dumber when it's like, what time do you want to meet? And she's like, how about quarter to he's like what about 6 45.
so um also you know cynthia bailey when i think of cynthia bailey i just think of someone who is always attracting drama so kelly's like uh she's like yeah i had to have a little uncomfortable conversation with shimmy earlier you know just a little bit just about porsche and i'm like well why did she steal that lady's husband? And Cynthia's like, oh, my Lord Jesus. Cynthia knows what's going on.
And she's like, well, damn, if coming in hot was a person, it would be Miss Kelly. Or Drew, which is why I'm wearing Drew's John and Kate Plus 8 wig from the TLC via in this confession.
Drew comes in hot, but only because she's wearing hot sauce per Dennis's orders. He says it's going to advance her musical career.
We don't understand it, but we're just going to go with it. So Portia's like, so Portia's like, yeah, she's never shy.
And Kelly's like, good. Neither am I.
I'm sorry. Cynthia says that.
So then more people arrive and then Kelly's talking to some of the ladies and she goes, so I'm sorry Cynthia says that so then more people arrive

and then Kelly's talking to some of the ladies and she goes so I hope y'all see that Shamia has my cookbook in the kitchen okay I'm gonna have to get all my girls my cookbooks and we see her cookbook which is called cooking with Kelly but it's spelled cooking with a k so it's like kooky like cooking cooking Kelly. Oh God.
I have to look this up. Cooking with Kelly.
Cooking with Kelly. What is it? Oh no, this poor girl.
Okay. On Amazon, it has 13 reviews oh so i guess out of print limited availability oh it has 3.8 stars oh that's not very good okay let's read the rating let's read the reviews uh shrimp and grits they love that and then there's only wait how many reviews are there i think there's only two reviews let me see so the first one is from miami charger and it.
They love that. And then there's only, wait, how many reviews are there? I think there's only two reviews.
Let me see. So the first one is from Miami Charger.
And it says, I love this cookbook and I highly recommend it. Shrimp and grits.
And then another person says, one star, very few recipes. And they're both from 2019.
Well, maybe it'll take off now that the show's here. And it's also a collection with a K.

Cooking with Kelly, a K-olection of family recipes from Nana's chicken.

I'm surprised you didn't call it Kanna's.

Kanna's chicken and Koffels.

I think that my confusion about Chloe and all the CH names makes sense.

Because you're doing a K thing with the book, but then you switched over to ch with your children so like what happened where did the weird what went wrong so um now angela's saying that she doesn't really cook and thank god because her husband doesn't like her cooking anyway so then Drew comes in in like a patsy from Ab Fab wig.

I'm not really sure what she's doing with this.

So she comes in and she knows Kelly through my social media manager.

He brought me some of her chicken and waffles and she makes very good waffles.

So I basically got some free waffles.

That's how I know this lady.

And then Angela says, Drew and I share the same hairstylist. We actually spoke for the first time maybe three years ago.
I like her personality. She's chill.
She's from Chicago, but she did not play on the Bulls like my husband Charles Oakley did. Sorry.
So then we see them FaceTiming a flashback of Drew being like, I'm going through so much over here. Oh gosh, we'll lean on each other, right? We're and angela's like i'm here for you now who do i have to beat up who who who do i have to beat up we're gonna be such good friends on this show now angela's gonna hate this girl okay that ropper yeah so quickly they barely know each other you know that they barely know each other they met once briefly through a messy hairstylist so because and i say messy only because every staff member that drew has brought onto the show has been incredibly messy so um cynthia is talking to drew and she's like oh true we got to catch up i haven't seen you since you and ralph uh got divorced if you want to ask me about me and mike i'm happy to give you some information about that too just like i know we so much to catch up on.
But like, I don't have so many answers. So then Brittany is like, so are you guys publicly dating? Is he publicly dating? Are you publicly dating? What's going on? And Drew's like, girl, I mean, I have people that are showing interest, but I just, I feel like I have to put a lot, I have to put a dot and a period on the situation because it's a lot going on.
So then is where angela's like oh my god my wig the glue the glue the glue is being melted in this heat i can't charles is my hair okay and he's like go to the bathroom but charles i mean it's okay right go to the bathroom and fix yourself he's like don't just go just go just do it um so ang Angela's like, today I thought I was being cute.

However, it was so hot.

So I'm trying to use the fan to stop the wig from running.

And my forehead, oh, that wig.

That wig is just leaving.

Yeah.

Can't do it.

So then all the ladies are in white.

It's a white party, right?

So they're like, where's Shamia?

Where's Shamia?

And where's Portia?

Why isn't Portia still here? And then we see 6.15 p.m. Portia's still getting her hair and makeup done.
And so now Kenya's here. So they start talking with Kenya, and Kenya's still not divorced.
And Britt's like, wow, five of you are going through a divorce? Wow, you're going through a divorce. You're going through a divorce.

God, you're like minivans on an Oprah show. Jesus Christ.
And Kenya's like, oh, yeah, Britt, and you're married? Oh, because you don't have your other ring. Are you married or are you engaged? And Britt's like, I'm married.
That's my second wedding ring. That's the second one.
And Kenya's like, oh, from a different guy? or Kenya's just like

Kenya's so good at being

just like

just that's the second one and kenya's like oh from a different guy or kenya's just like kenya's so good at being at just like just poke she just finds the trigger area so quickly and she's able to poke it and like immediately there's tension between these two yeah was i the only one who didn't think this was so bad because she said this is my second wedding ring and everybody's like been married multiple times or a lot of these people so i didn't think it was that weird and she's like oh from a different guy and she's like no one husband one man she goes no i didn't know if you were married before she goes well no this is the upgrade this is the anniversary ring and she's like oh an anniversary of the first drink well because what kenya picks up on right away is that Brit is, when she's like, oh my God, everyone's going through a divorce, kind of doing that thing like, and I'm the one who's still married. She's kind of doing the Kristen Taichman on girls trip thing.
And Kenya does not like that. Kenya picks up on it.
So now she's going to kind of like neg her ring a little bit and then neg the relationship. And it works.
I mean she totally gets under this girl's skin and it's just what kenya is so good at like comes so easily for her and so effortlessly yeah and it's also so obnoxious when someone's like newly married newly married comparing themselves to people who have been divorced after like 10 to 15 years you now yeah annoying so um she goes well uh kelly's like well listening to kenya's comment i mean that's unnecessary shade you know and i don't think you should be able to speak on anybody's ring if you don't have one oh please that's not true i don't like that i don't like qualifying judgment i can judge whoever i speak on people's rings yeah exactly so britney is saying that she um she was her husband's insurance agent that's they met and so kenya's like well she's like oh so you're more than a good neighbor and and she's like yeah well he found out he was in good hands and he hasn't left my side since so then angela comes back and her hair looks totally different, you know. Who knows what she's done to it? And she's like, yep, the glue's gone.
Gotta upgrade the glue. So she goes, I just had to freshen up, guys.
I just had to freshen up. So she's got like tape.
She's got like gift tape from the junk drawer around her head. She looks like she just had a head injury.
It's like shiny duct tape. They're like, is that what the pillow cases from the couch tied around her head she looks like she just had a head injury it's like it's like it's like shiny duct tape yeah um they're like is that the pillowcases from the couch tied around her head nope are you wearing a plastic bag so so shamia comes out so of course she's wearing blue because it's that thing you make all the guests wear one thing but then you show like everyone's forced to wear white and everyone's like oh ugh, I have to wear white, but then she gets to wear blue.
So she does a speech and like, she's like, I can twerk! I can twerk! Rain, rain, go away. So she's like, it just feels so good to have all my friends from all my walks of life under one roof.
And by under one roof, I mean outside where there's no roof. But I'm a little bit nervous about bringing all these friendships together can't we all just hang out turn up for my birthday where's porsche where's porsche where's porsche so she comes down and um brit and kelly are talking about well kenya was a little standoffish and britney's like yeah she was like where's your wedding band and i'm like sweetheart sweetheart, if all you need to know is I'm married and you're going through a divorce, but I'm married.
Oh, that's bad. You should never shame somebody for being divorced because it's going to happen to you.
And don't say it on camera. Yeah, this will be used against you.
This will be a black and white flashback. Yeah, she's like, look at this rock.
Never put so much of your pride. Don't base all of your pride on getting a diamond from a man.
That's just so sad. I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy about it, but having your whole personality like, well, look at my ring that I got from some man.
No. That's sad.
We don't care about the rocks that you got. So then Britt says, I'm the youngest.
I've got State Farm from the block. Yeah.
I got Flo from the block. So Brit is like, I'm the youngest of three girls, and my sisters are hard on me, and they're tough on me.
So if you come to me being a hater, trying to try me or size me up, I pick up all that very quickly. Like, oh, so when Kenya Moore says something to you and it's shady, you pick up on it? Wow.
Wow, what an instinct you have. You're like a Doppler.
Just crazy. So then Shamia is sitting with the ladies and someone comes over and they're like, oh, I have a surprise for you outside.
So we know it's going to be the obligatory new housewife gets a brand new car to prove that she's really rich for the housewife's audience. I would like a non-car surprise to be outside for one of these parties, because like you said, every single time someone's inside and they say, there's a surprise for you outside.
It's a new recycling bin that doesn't smell like cottage cheese from 13 years ago. When you put in an order for a new trash bin from the city, takes three years for them to give it to you but we got you one ahead of schedule congratulations oh my gosh so um she got a colon is that how you pronounce it i'm too poor to pronounce it i can't pronounce rolls royce colonen yeah it's a $430,000.
It's a Rolls-Royce. Hey, who knew it would end up being better than McCulley? That's a Cullinan.
So she got an Andrew Canan in Rolls-Royce, and Angela is like like $430,000.

Wow.

Well talk about needing insurance.

So Angela says my husband,

I'm punching him. Like I hope you're looking because these are the type of gifts that I want.

You know,

she's like,

and you're an NBA player.

So you,

you better get this for me.

So Cynthia is like,

if I had,

if I,

if I had these kinds of birthday presents,

I might've tried to make my marriages work. Like, yeah, I can really see Mike and Peter being able to pay for these things.
Yeah, she's like, Peter just gave me a half drunk cold cup of coffee on my birthday. Peter said he was going to get me rolls for my birthday and fortunately it was just a bag of Hawaiian rolls.

It was exciting for a moment.

So Shamia's doing like

the, oh my god, it's a car, everybody!

I got a car! And they're like, oh my god, Shamia got a car!

She's like, look at my car, everybody! And then

Shamia, I mean, Portia walks right

up behind her and is like, Shamia, it's me!

I'm here finally! And she's like,

um, I am accepting

my car. It's me! Look at me! it's me reacting to shamia getting a car yeah this was shitty because first of all she shows up two hours late and then at the moment when this is shamia she is like she is an actress this is her moment she is the center everyone is looking at her and then porsche comes up and is like standing on stage with her essentially um sort of shamelessly and unapologetically not only being there late but sort of like taking up that moment where now shamiya has to like shamiya can't be like waving at the crowds and doing her whole bit about being like oh my god it's a car she has to like tend to porsche and uh it's not a great it's not a great look on porsche's part by the way just tell her uh you're a little late and then she continues trying to be happy but she's pissed and she tells us listen you know uh let's be clear i'm a fan of letting everybody everybody's light shine however in this moment to the left yeah and kelly's kind of like if it were me i would have just have just snuck in and hidden the crowd and been like, I was here all this time.
So now Portia's helping me upstairs doing a wardrobe change. And Portia's like, I'm so sorry, I'm late, girl.
She's like, well, there's nothing I can do about it. So, you know, just a tube of elmer's glue and i guess you're the

construction paper she's like yeah you look gorgeous yeah she's clearly pissed and then

uh porsche is like you know she knows my intentions is always to be there for her but

you know when you have a party at that time the traffic's insane you also live in buckhead that

used to be porsche's excuse when she would go anywhere else because she's like but i live in

buckhead now but shimmy also lives in buckhead i don't think you have the same excuse porsche

I don't think you have the same excuse Portia has been late to every single thing that she's ever like shown up to on this show so like at a certain point you know it's like it's one thing if you're 10 minutes late but to be two hours late and be like oh man you were doing makeup we saw you okay yeah I thought that would be one thing that production would make porsche promise like if we're going to bring you back to the show you cannot make us wait for four hours for shit porsche because like there were times where porsche was like four or five hours late to stuff the shooting would be over you know and then she'd show up and try and start a fight just to get her paycheck in and it's like no yeah come to work but that that being said let's not act like the producers did not happily schedule the timing of this to be just like this. Because they know it's going to create friction between these friends.
I mean, this is how it happens. So Cynthia and Kenya, meanwhile, are catching up.
And Cynthia is saying, well, apparently Shamia went out with Kelly and Britt. And Kelly apparently made a comment like, you know, what's going on with people stealing people's men? And Kenya's like, ha ha ha, hide your husband, hide your wife.
Ha ha ha. Cynthia's like, I don't get it.
What is that? She's like, well, long story short, Kel was upset because Shamia went back and told Portia what they discussed. And Kenya's like, oh my God, so why was Kelly upset? She goes, well, I don't know.
I don't think it's a thing, but in this circle of young, fresh people, it can become a thing. It can become a thing.
And she's like, oh my God, a little thing can become a big thing? Okay, let's go do it. So she walks right over to the group, and she's like, so...
Oh, and Britt starts with her first. She's like, Kenya, can I get a hug?

Because I saw how you greeted me.

She goes, how did I greet you?

Did I hug anybody, though?

Did I hug anybody?

Yeah, because that's the other thing, is that when Kenya came in, she hugged all, like, lots of people, but she did not hug Brit.

And so Kenya is like, well, I mean, I hugged Cynthia.

I mean, Cynthia's my best friend. And, like, you're over here causing trouble already.

And she's like, we're causing trouble. What am I, mayhem? Get it? Mayhem? Commercials? Insurance? Okay.
So I talked to my friend. Like, what's the big deal? And she's like, you talked to who? She's like, Cynthia.
Okay, so listen. What were you upset about with Shamia taking information? And so Kelly is like, well, you know, we had dinner the other night and like me, Shamia and Britt, you know, and I was like, well, why did Portia take that man's husband? And Kenny just cracks up.
She's like, okay, Kelly. And Britt's like, um, can we not acknowledge the elephant in the room? Okay.
And that was the elephant in the room. And Portia's right there.

She's like, oh, hi, Portia, hi.

And they're like, hi, Portia.

And so Portia comes in and says hello to everybody.

And Kelly's like, okay, so my question was,

why did she take that woman's husband?

And Portia's like, oh my God, that's your opening line?

Wow, what's your name again?

And she's like, um, my name?

Let me give you a hint. I have a cookbook starting with the word K.
Chrissy Teigen? No. So Portia's like, this is my first time meeting you.
So anything else you want to know besides that? Because like, who are you? Where are you from? So Kelly's like, I'm just asking a simple question. And I have to say, I did like how Kelly did not shy away from the fact that she was shady the night before and she was not afraid to go up against like one of the biggest stars to come out of this show.
And she just was like, yeah, I just asked, why'd you take that guy's, why'd you take that woman's husband? And I think it caught Portia off guard. I don't think Portia was expecting that.
So Britt's like, oh oh, my God. I'm like, oh, my God.
Okay, look, Kelly can be spicy, but that's my girl. And Angela's like, oh, I know she's joking, right? I mean, you're joking, but she was dead serious.
And Kelly's like, yeah, but you didn't answer my question. And Portia's like, um, I don't want to talk to you.
Answered the question. No, I don't even know you.
She goes, you know me. You've spoken on me on Amazon Live.

And she goes, um, I don't know you.

And then she turns to Britt and she goes,

is that your friend?

And she goes, that's my girl.

And let me tell you, she's sweet, okay?

I think she just wanted to address

the elephant in the room.

I'm the type of person that says

elephant in the room a lot.

So if we could just address

the elephant in the room,

that would be great.

I don't care anymore, it's okay. So Drew's like, well, I couldn't hear what you all were saying.
Sort of like Ralph, when I called down to him from the first floor, he always says he can't hear me. So they go upstairs to a different, to a quieter spot.
I noticed that I have to give the kids a quarter to pass the basement door every time they go down there. So Kelly's like, I stand on business.
Waffle business. And the women who can't own what they're doing or saying is a joke to me.
It's maple syrup without gold flakes in it. And I won't stand for it.
And Forrest is like, this chick is weird. So now they all take the elevator.
And a lot of elevator action this episode.

Like that's the ongoing theme, which is why you mentioned earlier that it should be a character because it's a lot of elevator scenes.

Yeah.

So they go to the elevator because they have to move rooms because they can't fight.

They're like, wow, this is a real party and we need to be able to fight.

They're like in the kitchen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So they all, they all get, they all, they're all gathering in this new area.

And so Shamia's like, speaking of birthdays birthdays i didn't get invited to your birthday drew and she was like oh no one got invited to my birthday and portia's like i got invited to your birthday it's like well i mean but you didn't come by the way she's like well dennis invited me to your birthday she's like kenya's like wait why why is Dennis inviting someone else to your birthday? It was like, it was a surprise. You know, I just didn't know anything, but I did send my assistant everybody's numbers.
And we all know my assistant. He's very shady.
And he didn't invite anybody. So she blames her assistant for everything.
She has the sloppiest assistant. I love it.
I know. Wait.
You're going to tell me you told your assistant, invite these people to my birthday, and your assistant didn't invite a single person to your birthday, and you're like, chill with that? What? No, this is a lie. It was a surprise, but I gave my assistant a list of people I wanted to invite to my surprise, which I guess he messed up on.
But it was a huge party still of all my friends, except you guys. She's still full of it, in other words.
So then Portia's like, but Dennis, who's your assistant, Dennis? And she's like, Shimea goes, well, Drew, I would be inauthentic if I didn't ask, are you dating Dennis now? And that's where it ended a wild wild well it's a good episode i really enjoyed it that was it was super fun i am really excited i'm hoping that the energy of this first episode continues throughout the season because um we you know it's nice to see atlanta being being like really funny again and having a lot of stuff going on so anyway thanks everyone for being here go to watchcrappins.com to get your tickets to come see us this weekend and you know or later on in March or April or May and we will catch you on the next episode bye everyone watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain no thing like Alison King. Our way is the Amber way.
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