#2756 RHOA S16E01 Part One: Pretty As a Peach

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Speaker 2 Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me

Speaker 2 someone who may or may not have

Speaker 2 a scandalous relationship with Dennis, the hot dog guy from Atlanta. It's Ronnie Carom.

Speaker 1 Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Oh, hello.
How's it going?

Speaker 2 Just fine and dandy. Atlanta is back.
We are recapping Real House House of Atlanta today. Before we get into it,

Speaker 2 some fun updates, which is that our show is going back on the road this week. We are going to be in Cincinnati on Friday night, and we are going to be recapping Summerhouse.

Speaker 2 And then the next night we're going to Minneapolis and we'll recap Southern Charm.

Speaker 2 And then we are crossing the border into Canada and we are going to go to Toronto to recap a classic episode of Roney. Some may say the best episode of all time across maybe all franchises.
That is

Speaker 2 the Berkshires, December Berkshire County season eight, episode nine. I believe that that's what it is.
You know, it's the one. It's the one.
We're recapping that one.

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Anyway, we're excited to see you all there. And then, of course, later in the month, we're going to Atlanta.
We're going to Charlotte.

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Speaker 2 But just giving you a heads up for new subscribers on Patreon, that's patreon.com slash watch for crappins bonus episodes video the whole thing so that is the update everyone shall we get into atlanta ronnie shall we do

Speaker 1 yourself updated yes let's get into atlanta wow it's been a long time since we've had atlanta back on the screens eh it's been a very long time and um

Speaker 2 wow you know we this is um i have to what did you think about the premiere with about the season premiere because obviously there's a lot of expectations going into it.

Speaker 2 Last season was like pretty cataclysmic. And, you know, there's, you know, they had to fire a bunch of people, bring in new people, retool it.
So a lot was riding on this premiere.

Speaker 2 How did you feel like they did?

Speaker 1 I thought it was good. I thought it was a good start.
It is weird having a reboot. I mean, it's basically a reboot.

Speaker 1 So it's weird having a full reboot and getting into it, you know, and then they changed all the stylistic stuff of it. They're like, it's new.
Get it.

Speaker 1 Now we're doing 3D imaging, like portrait mode on the iPhone. They're doing weird stuff where it's like, look, Porsche is standing, but is she close to you? Is she far away? Is she about to jog?

Speaker 1 No, she's not. I don't believe that for two seconds, first of all.
And then they do this new green screen thing where it's like a 3D green screen where the whole floor is green, everything's green.

Speaker 1 And then they still put a picture behind it. So it looks like tiny dolls sitting in a dollhouse.

Speaker 2 This drove. Okay, this is my biggest note from the episode.
Can we please fix the green screen for Shamia? Okay, they did not do the proportions correctly.

Speaker 2 She looks like a tiny, she's like shrunken down. I actually paused and the size of her chair, she's sitting in like a barrel chair, you know, and it's next to a sofa.

Speaker 2 And the top of the barrel chair is as tall as like the arm of the sofa.

Speaker 1 Like, don't, you made her a miniature.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 1 Mark your proportions for your green screen.

Speaker 2 Every time I cut to her, she looked like so obviously superimposed.

Speaker 1 It was the fun.

Speaker 2 It was like a TikTok video when someone puts their head in the corner. That's That's what she looked like.

Speaker 1 Well, I think they're still trying to figure it out, you know, because it's like new technology for them. They're like, housewives, new things for housewives.
How do we do it?

Speaker 1 And so they all look kind of like little dolls in a dollhouse. But we found out super.

Speaker 2 Drew Sidora in her foyer, which, by the way, I thought was hilarious.

Speaker 1 Well, they're trying to give Drew Sidora some AI upgrades and they're just not working. Like, what was that wig that she wore to the party?

Speaker 1 And you could see her other hair kind of coming out the bottom. I mean, Drew Sidora is still a goddamn mess, which I love, you know?

Speaker 2 She is. I have to say, I thought the premiere was great.
I thought this was the best season premiere in several years. I think, you know, one thing was

Speaker 2 on, we even saw it in the trailer. We didn't do a trailer trash of this show because we were doing Traders on our Patreon.

Speaker 2 But even on the trailer, they have... like adjusted the vibe of the show.

Speaker 2 They kind of got it back to where it should have been all along, which is it's in real housewives territory of like money and glitz and glam, like the trailer and then this premiere was all about like you know luxury cars and jewelry etc and you know of course there's always that element there's always wealth on these shows but i feel like they were really emphasizing it and they sort of got back to kind of some campiness with this premiere in my mind like i just felt like the tone was tweaked in a way that i really really liked Well, the new girls definitely came to play.

Speaker 1 I mean, they were like, okay,

Speaker 1 let's attack the only remaining standing person from the original cast. Poor shot.
Fearlessly, too. Let's take her down.
Huh?

Speaker 2 Fearlessly, like without like even blinking, like just effortlessly not cowering, just going after like Porsche.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're definitely, they definitely came ready for some mess. So that ended up being fun.

Speaker 1 It was hard to kind of get into it just because there were so many new people, but I think that's natural with like a new housewives show.

Speaker 1 I did, it was funny when there was Kenya, and I actually cheered when Kenya came on because I thought they were going to cut her out of the season.

Speaker 1 So I was actually, believe it or not, super glad to see Kenya being so messy. And I think the friend spot is actually kind of perfect for her, even though she never would have agreed to be a friend.

Speaker 1 But now that they've cut her into a friend, it's kind of perfect. I will say they look kind of like aunties to the rest of them.

Speaker 1 They're like, oh, these crazy girls, like sitting in a corner, like these crazy girls. Remember when we used to be like that? And also, I missed Candy.

Speaker 1 And listen, Candy, I know, didn't give. the most in the past few years.
And I'm sure I was one of the loudest, like, something needs to change.

Speaker 1 But, you know, Todd's restaurants, I don't know which one. I think it's Old Lady Gang.
One of the restaurants hasn't been paying their rent and

Speaker 1 it's a whole mess over there. So I just want to know.
I just want an update on, you know, how Candy feels about Todd blowing through all of her cash. So I kind of needed that update, but, you know.

Speaker 2 You know, I've always loved Candy. I think she's actually

Speaker 2 an incredible housewife.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 I think it was a good decision to just kind of really push out a lot of the people and like get in some fresh faces here, but still have like someone like a Portia, a big personality that we know of Portia Shamia.

Speaker 2 What was surprising is that Shamia, who we've had, Shamia has been around for years, right?

Speaker 2 Like low-key, like a, like, she's one of the, the, the, the best kind of friends of across all franchises, but she sort of doesn't get as much credit as like a Marlowe or someone else.

Speaker 2 But with Shamia, what's so surprising is not only did she get elevated to peach status, she's kind of the center of the show now.

Speaker 2 Like they really did kind of like all the relationships go through Shamia, which is surprising. And what I was surprised about is how well she

Speaker 2 stepped in as kind of the glue in the center of the new Atlanta. So there's like a lot of really surprising elements for me.

Speaker 1 And just to think how much footage they must have cut of Shamia, because really all they ever show of Shamia is kind of kissing Porsche's ass or standing up for Portia.

Speaker 1 But then we find out this episode that Shamia never shuts the fuck up. And so they probably have like

Speaker 1 reels and reels of Shamia footage on the ground that we've just never seen.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And like we always, I think we knew that Shamia acts and sings and does all that sort of stuff, but I never realized how much of that person she was until she became the center peach.

Speaker 2 And then it's like, oh, oh, you're, you're an actor. You're an actor and a singer because you're acting and singing all the time now.

Speaker 2 Like any, like anytime she can have the spotlight, she's like, hello.

Speaker 1 I was like, whoa, where is Shamia? What? This is crazy. Yeah.
Well, it's go time. And she, she went.
Like, she showed up and she and she went for it. Okay, so let's start from the very start.

Speaker 1 Here we are back again. Atlanta, Atlanta, Atlanta.
Shots of Atlanta. And then, you know, shots of the season.
Portia, you're an awful fucking slimey ass bitch.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 basically they do. Porsche's big thing is, I jog now.
And so

Speaker 1 Porsche's got really long hair and she's kind of bouncing up and like, you know, shots of her sneakers. She's getting ready to run, guys.

Speaker 1 And then it's slow-mo's, and then it's portrait mode, and then it's 3D, and then it's

Speaker 1 like every shot that they could find in their final cut, they used.

Speaker 2 Well, they also like used a really cool visual plug-in, which is that they made flashbacks appear on buildings. Like, that was a nice touch, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 Like, she's like walking down the street, and it's like memories on like a, on the side of a building, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, she's like, honey, you know, I had to circle back, circle the block, and I'm back.

Speaker 2 So she's saying how life is amazing. She's been traveling, living her best life, and Pilar is getting big.
And, you know, like life doesn't always have a fairy tale ending.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 and then we see her and Simon headlines that her and Simon have divorced after 15 months of marriage. I'm like, I'm not sure that relationship had a fairy tale beginning either, to be fair.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it was a fairy tale. Don't you remember when Cinderella went to that ball and saw someone else's husband? It was like, mine.
And then she got the husband.

Speaker 1 And then she broke the shoe over somebody's head.

Speaker 1 Very good. I think Kenya was dressed as a Native American at one part.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was

Speaker 1 all scales.

Speaker 2 That was the same Halloween party where Fallon was like dressed like, was she like an alien or something? She had like scales. She had like a crazy, a very complete costume.

Speaker 2 Was she Medusa, right? And she just went running around with like a golf, a golf club.

Speaker 1 Great fairy tales. So, you know, things you guys might remember from your fairy tales.
Bank fraud, credit card fraud, identity fraud, fake marriages, multiple felonies.

Speaker 1 Didn't want to be married to a stranger.

Speaker 1 And then this is my favorite headline. Simon seemingly calls Real Housewives of Atlanta star Portia Williams a pig with lipstick.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 1 First, way to misuse the saying, but also that's a funny fucking headline.

Speaker 1 So back to force yeah she's like i filed for divorce and we have financial issues and trust issues yeah uh go back and read the headlines there there were some issues

Speaker 1 he just wasn't the man that i thought i was marrying i mean polar and i like we're still living in a marital home but like things are getting really stressful with the divorce and i'm trying to figure out a way forward wow i can't believe simon um wasn't the man that you thought you were who was the man you thought you were marrying because i think we all saw simon as this what what where were you what what did you see him as old man with a lot of money but she thought it was his presumably you know i guess um so then we see her mom diane and she's like from the looks of it you were the perfect couple the thing was just not to go to bed angry you know and you also co-parented wonderfully Well, it's hard not to go to bed angrily when the fucking furniture rental place is trying to take the bed out from under you.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck did I marry, marry, marry?

Speaker 2 Now, we should have realized that Porsche would be coming back to Bravo and bringing her whole cohort because Bravo is having a big hot dog moment. Like every show is focusing on hot dogs these days.

Speaker 2 So it's only natural that Dennis returns to our screens with hot dogs.

Speaker 1 Hot dog Dubin content.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's the hot dog pioneer on Bravo.

Speaker 1 He's hot dog Dubin. He's the Harry Dubin of this show, just going from housewife to housewife for screen time.

Speaker 1 So Diane's like, oh my gosh, Porsche, It's when you look at one part of it, then you start to look at another part of it, and then you wonder how much of it was real.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love that they're just so shocked, especially Diane. Just shocked that any of this could have happened to poor Portia.
Girl, I watched that reality show. I watched the Porsche show.

Speaker 1 I can't believe Diane's acting shocked. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just, I let my guard down because I felt like it was a safe space and I still love this person and I really hate all that. I let my guard down.

Speaker 2 You didn't let your guard down.

Speaker 2 You saw a really wealthy guy and you got with him.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 2 they're all now we see Portia going downtown.

Speaker 1 She's in her workout outfit and Portia's like, a lot of people, they say, well, this could be karma or whatever. But for me, I guess with bad karma comes good karma because I always come out okay.

Speaker 2 I don't know if karma works out that way. I think sometimes bad karma is just bad karma.

Speaker 1 I don't think, like,

Speaker 2 I don't think it, I don't know if it evens out. Like, if you have bad karma, then it's your, I think it's just bad karma that you're stuck with, right?

Speaker 1 Just how you market it. You know, Porsche.
And she's right. I mean, Portia's doing fine.
She's still doing fine. I mean, she came back as the star of this show.
So.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, she's still a star.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got her. Her, her karma got her a storyline for another season.
So what does she care? You know, so now we go to Shamia and she's with her daughter at their place.

Speaker 1 Well, first it looks like it's it's going to center around Porsche, right?

Speaker 1 Because the opening is all Porsche and then we see Portia jogging and anyone who's watched this show from the beginning is like, oh my God, guys, Portia jogs now. The world is at peace.

Speaker 1 We're getting a new storyline.

Speaker 1 But then we get the credits or whatever. And then it turns out that the season is built kind of around Shamia, which you've mentioned.
So we go to her place and it's this huge mansion.

Speaker 1 And she's like, well, people only know me as Portia's ride or die.

Speaker 1 And then we see flashbacks flashbacks of Shamia sticking up for Portia and then taking pictures of Portia and Phaedra and then doing the splits at a bolo party.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but then she says, but I mean, there's way more to me than I can outshine the best of them. My $9 million house was the second largest sale in Georgia that year.
But you know what?

Speaker 2 I don't even have to get down like that, even though I did just mention that it was the second largest sale.

Speaker 2 I hate being confined by my walls, which were did, just as a reminder, they did cost $9 million.

Speaker 2 If you can afford to buy me the cheapest house to kill at the bar, let's do it and drink it in my $9 million house. You know, I might spit it over there and then buy us the good stuff.

Speaker 2 That's what I'll do. So then...

Speaker 1 You were drinking the cheapest tequila at a bar when you met that man. You know, don't act like you've never had the cheapest tequila at a bar.
She's like, well, I'll go.

Speaker 1 I'll play with the cheapest tequila eventually.

Speaker 2 Then I'll spit it out.

Speaker 1 So Shamia's found, then we see Shamia. She's brought the whole family.
And that's another thing. Everybody knew had the whole family on.
So I was like, ah, it's a lot. It's a lot.
It's new people.

Speaker 1 New people.

Speaker 2 Everyone's moving in. Everyone's literally moving into Bravo.
So Shamia's like, you know, I haven't had any parties at my home since I bought my home for $9 million.

Speaker 2 You know, I have my birthday party, but this is my first big party. And if it's a party, I'm going to party.
And it doesn't have to be a twerk. I mean, I can twerk.

Speaker 2 And then we just see

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 2 this whole, this whole massive family. And again, this is where we first see Shamia in her teeny tiny chair and the green screen.
And it's like, please, please fix this.

Speaker 2 You have time to do it production. Just

Speaker 2 enlarge the image. Okay, zoom in a little bit.
Zoom out over there. Let's get the proportions right because it's driving me nuts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they kept changing it and it was crazy looking every single time.

Speaker 1 But Shamia, I think if she went to any kind of, you know,

Speaker 1 media training or whatever before this season, just kind of get her ducks in a row.

Speaker 1 I think the media trainer just told her, when in doubt, twerk, just start shaking your ass, clap your ass cheeks whenever you're in doubt. Because every other scene to me is like, clap, clap, clap.

Speaker 1 She's like, I can twerk.

Speaker 1 Uh, so she's um gonna have a party. We meet her, we meet her nephew, and she's like, Oh, one thing you better know about me is family is the most important thing.

Speaker 1 It goes, God, and then family, and then nine million dollar house

Speaker 1 is a pinch of spado

Speaker 1 when up the water was spout

Speaker 1 on my nine million dollar house.

Speaker 2 It's a very expensive water spout. So she's like, career-wise, I like to call myself like the female Jamie Foxx.

Speaker 2 I mean, sorry, I know I'm a bit too modest to be on Bravo right now, but I'm a quadruple threat. I'm an actress, a singer, a dancer, an owner of a $9 million house.
It's just a lot that I can do.

Speaker 2 And it just kind of happened that way because I'm a lover of music. I'm a lover of arts.
I'm a lover of people. I'm a lover of Zillow.
And I'm blessed to be able to do it all.

Speaker 1 I mean, I haven't really heard of much of that, but that doesn't, I guess, that doesn't really mean anything.

Speaker 1 I mean, I found out who Chapo Rone was like two months ago because she was yelling at a reporter. No, I'm a huge fan.
I mean, I didn't know. It takes me a while to figure things out.

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Speaker 1 So she has an elevator in her house and she's racing her daughter and her daughter's like, I'm going to beat you. I'm going to go up the stairs and beat you.
And she's like, no, you're not.

Speaker 1 And so she takes the elevator and the kid runs up the stairs. And you can tell she's a good mom because she's like, how do you always beat me?

Speaker 1 Because if I was the mom, I would have come off that elevator, seen that kid, and just pushed her down the stairs.

Speaker 1 She's taken the elevator. That thing is paid for for a reason, you ungrateful little fuck.

Speaker 2 She's like, I've just been through it, just trying to grow my family. I have two girls.
So she talks about she has one girl who's like Shia is five years old. Shiloh is 15 months.

Speaker 2 And Shiloh was born prematurely via surrogacy. And so there was a lot of, there was a lot of medical complications and surgeries, et cetera.
So it's a lot. that she is dealing with over there.

Speaker 2 And so then she talks about how her husband, they've been together for 10 years.

Speaker 2 His name is Jerome.

Speaker 2 He's kenyan and they met at a nightclub and she tells the whole story about like how he tried to buy her a drink and she was like no and then um he's like but what he bought her a drink

Speaker 1 so he bought her a drink but then he never talked to her again and she was like what the hell you can't just buy me a drink and not talk to me again i just figured something was wrong with them but then i was invited to a cookout and then so i went to the cookout and then the producer goes shamia could you make it short and she's like i'm almost done just give me one more second so then he sits by me we have fun And she goes on for, I swear to you, 15 minutes.

Speaker 1 It's like,

Speaker 1 in their time, it must have been like three hours long. And finally, she gets to the meat of the story, which is she goes to his house.

Speaker 1 She's like, I don't want to go in because you're going to think that, you know, you're going to get some. And he's like, no, it's okay.
We can just relax. So they're relaxing.

Speaker 1 And then he hears her stomach gurgle. And he's like, don't worry about it.
The bathroom's right over there. And she's like, so I went into the bathroom and I exploded.
all over that bathroom.

Speaker 1 And I mean, things were just coming out everywhere. And, you know, I go in there and I'm kind of embarrassed.
And that man still called me for another date. That's when I

Speaker 1 and next time I went over, there were baby wipes there. So ladies, shit in his house on the first date.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 2 That was the lesson to be learned.

Speaker 2 So she keeps going. Cause like this, by the way, this kind of reboot is, it's, it's a little bit like a sizzle reel.

Speaker 2 And like for a sizzle reel is essentially like when you're trying to sell a reality show, you kind of make it sort of like a pilot, pilot, but it's a lot of people, the cast members talking to the camera, telling you who you are.

Speaker 2 It's basically talking to the producers, like, I am so-and-so. This is my background.
This is why I should be on your show. And then you see some scenes of them together.

Speaker 2 So it's kind of like that vibe because we're like, we get like these very long scenes of people talking to us, but it's okay because they have to do it. They have to bring us into this world.

Speaker 2 So Shamia's going on and on about

Speaker 2 how Shiloh is in the NICU.

Speaker 2 And so like this year, they're pulling out all the stops.

Speaker 2 And she's going to have, she's inviting all these, all her friends, some of her new friends like kelly and britt and then also like portia you know etc etc so then we see why she's the glue

Speaker 1 and we see all the pictures of the new people and so she starts stringing it all together so she's known portia for a decade and she's good friends with portia because portia told her she needs to shave her vagina which

Speaker 1 yeah there you go

Speaker 1 yes that's all

Speaker 2 through portia she met cynthia in in Kenya because, you know,

Speaker 2 50 Synth is back this season. And then she met Kelly because Kelly came on to

Speaker 2 Shamia's radio show.

Speaker 2 And we meet Kelly shortly. But one thing I have to say, I'd love that Atlanta

Speaker 2 cast a waffle queen on the show. Like, that's like my favorite thing ever.
Like, Queen of Waffles is newcast member.

Speaker 2 And then she, then,

Speaker 2 so Kelly would cook for her. And then

Speaker 2 she, then she's also, Kelly is friends with Brit. So I guess she met Britt through Kelly.
So that's how Brit came into the mix.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she's like, I love those girls because they let their hair down and their titties out. So we did that.
We do that.

Speaker 1 And Drew, they did a film together 10 years ago on TLC and it was a biopic, a biopic. I always say biopic.

Speaker 2 It was a biopsy.

Speaker 1 It doesn't sound like it should be biopic. It's a biopic.

Speaker 2 It was myopic. It was a myopic biopic.

Speaker 2 What movie was that? Did they say what movie that was? I need to know what it was. I'm going to look at it.

Speaker 1 Crazy, Sexy, Cool, The TLC story. It's about, it's a TLC American biographical

Speaker 1 television film about TLC.

Speaker 2 I thought it was a biopic that aired on TLC.

Speaker 1 John and Kate plus 8, eight, how it came. Oh, yeah, I remember.

Speaker 1 I think I saw that movie.

Speaker 2 I feel like, was that on Lifetime? You know, it doesn't matter. We'll move on.
Um, but I really was like, well, I didn't know that TLC aired biopics.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was so confused.

Speaker 2 Kate plus eight, John and John and eight plus Kate and Drew Sedora. Drew Sidora in a Kate Goslin wig.

Speaker 2 It's like, it's like me and Ralph.

Speaker 1 Wait, Kate, what are their names again? I just said it. John and Kate.
John and Gosling. I made John live in the basement with seven of the children.

Speaker 2 John went to Tampa again.

Speaker 1 That's how she knows Drew. And Drew is really good friends with the Angela Oakley.

Speaker 1 And she doesn't really know Angela, but she knows Charles because Charles is the Charles Oakley, maker of the sunglasses, I presume, because I don't understand sports very much.

Speaker 2 I used to have such a crush on Charles Oakley in the 90s, I swear. You know, because he was on the Knicks and I was a big Knicks fan.

Speaker 2 And I'd go to those Knicks games and he would be there and I'd be like,

Speaker 1 Charles Oakley.

Speaker 2 So I'm like, very, like, I'm taken to a place when I see Charles Oakley on this show.

Speaker 1 Well, he's the resident because no matter how many times you recast a housewife show, they're always going to have the grumpy asshole husband. And that's him.

Speaker 1 He's just the old grump who's like, fix your hair.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I actually really love that they included the Oakleys, not because of any sort of Charles Oakley thing I bring to it, but because Angela Oakley is like a little older and she's sort of, she's kind of giving some light Karen Huger vibes, you know, I got that as well.

Speaker 2 Like some grand domes, but like maybe not as delusional, but I'd like that they're like, okay, well, let's bring in someone who's like a little more regal into this mix because I think that always works on these shows.

Speaker 1 And this is something I got to Karen when she's acting like, well, I'm. Angela Oakley.
Oh, God, my wig glue. Oh, my God.
What am I going to do about my wig glue?

Speaker 1 And then she had to, she's like, the wind is blowing off my wig.

Speaker 1 She had to go to the bathroom and you just hear her in there. Oh my God, the wig glue.
What am I going to do about the wig glue? And I was like, oh, thank God.

Speaker 1 One Karen goes, one prison door slams and another door opens.

Speaker 2 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 2 So we're back to Shamia's house and she's saying like trying to be friends to multiple people that don't always see eye to eye. That's like the thing like right now in my life.

Speaker 2 So then there's Glenda, who's, who is some, someone in the household right now. Ariana Grande arrives and her outfit from Wicked, and she's like, we shouldn't have to worry about that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 could they make the elevator a cast in the show? Because Porsche's coming out of the elevator. I have to make a gift of that.
I need that in my life.

Speaker 1 I need to be able to send that as a response in texts. But we'll get to that.
Right now, Shami is the glue. But she's complaining to her family.
She's like, you know,

Speaker 1 huh?

Speaker 2 Right now, Shami is the glue, everyone. Let's get back to the glue.

Speaker 1 I know. Ms.
Oakley could have used you at your party. But she's talking about how she has to keep all the, she's like, you know, hanging out with girls.
They probably don't all get along.

Speaker 1 It's like, this is episode one. Okay.
You can't already be having this discussion with your family. And they're like, shut up.
You finally got a a peach. Stop your bitching.

Speaker 1 So then we go to Drew, who's pretending to play with her children. Like that's a normal thing that she does.
And it's in their front yard that's on the street throwing balls, you know.

Speaker 1 And this is very Drew.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it is fun that in this like revamp where there's like emphasis on like luxury and diamonds, et cetera, that then they have to go to Drew Sedora.

Speaker 2 And like they just try, they try to make her seem glam, like now into the exciting life of Drew Sedora.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 she's like, kids, you want to listen to your iPod? She's pressing play on that boom box that nobody would take in her first season.

Speaker 2 She slips and falls on a penny saver on her front suit.

Speaker 1 Listen, you kids better be good or I'm not reading you the Val Pack before you go to bed tonight.

Speaker 2 Right. She's like, it's a lot of change.
Like, I have a lot of quarters and pennies saved up right now. And then she has her chef who's like, yeah, it's a lot.

Speaker 2 She always has, I don't know if it's the same lady as before. I think it is because she has this chef that has just like the biggest eyelashes.

Speaker 2 Like this, this chef is always like, I'm going to be on camera. I'm going to put all the mascara on right now before I cook this salmon.

Speaker 1 But didn't she have problems with paying a chef? Wasn't that one of her things that she wasn't paying that chef?

Speaker 2 I think she, I think, when it comes to payroll and

Speaker 2 staff, that may be a problem area for Drew in general beyond just even chefs.

Speaker 1 But yeah.

Speaker 1 She likes volunteers. That girl's like the red cross of her neighborhood.
She just takes as many volunteers as she can get. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So here's, she tells us that she's been in five movies in a year. And I was like, who's done five movies in a year? And so I looked it up and they're 2B movies, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Vicious Murder.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 2 No, the 2B movies are like do incredibly well, actually.

Speaker 1 Well, there you go. She's done five of them in a year.

Speaker 1 Vicious Murder, The Pass, Boxed In, The Preacher's Son, Women of the Jury, Adopted.

Speaker 1 And then before that, she had like a six-year break where she did skinned like damn and then white people money a 2020 comic so she's done a lot of stuff oh and also it says here conclave i didn't realize she was in conclave but good for her that's that was an amazing turn for her

Speaker 2 she's been just imagining just imagining her with ray fiends

Speaker 2 like i was in the past and then i was in conclave

Speaker 1 um which what's conclave i don't know i don't get the joke i'm just lost

Speaker 1 I think it looks stupid, but I don't get it.

Speaker 2 What is it? An Oscar-nominated prestige film. Druzidora.

Speaker 1 Do you know anything that's Oscar-nominated? What planet do I live on?

Speaker 1 What's Nora?

Speaker 1 It's so bad I don't know what a Nora is. And then I found out it's about a hooker who gets with a Russian billionaire, and I'm like, that's my movie.
Like, that's my type of movie. It's like my dream.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's what half these housewives shows are basically about. I mean, hello, did you not see Portia's? Well, Portia's not a hooker, but it is about people getting with billionaires.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Remember when the plotline, everybody producing each other for being with, like trying to get with African billionaires or whatever? And now look at where we are all these years later.

Speaker 1 It's like, ha ha, Shinna shamed us. We took over the show.
Suck us.

Speaker 2 And by the way, I support it 100%.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But anyway, I'm looking forward to finally seeing The Brutalist, which is like three hours long and has an intermission just to see how Drew Sadora does in that.

Speaker 2 Cause I feel like she will really play really well off of Adrian Adrian Brody.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, I thought I signed up for a movie called The Doodleist. I'm not really sure.
I've made a couple of houses with cars out front.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 2 we were hoping to cast Laura Dern, but we'll deal with Drusidora instead. By the way, Facebook recommended...

Speaker 1 We ended up with Laura Darn. Damn it, Drucadora there.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you something? Facebook actually suggested that I be friends with Laura Dern this weekend. It was like someone you may know.

Speaker 1 Laura Dern. Oh my gosh.
Gosh, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 And it said, Laura Dern works at Hollywood. I was like, I don't know if this is a real Laura Dern.

Speaker 1 You should have friended Laura Dern. What the hell is wrong with that? I still get

Speaker 1 Vandoval and like, you know, stupid people like that. You got Laura Dern? Damn, you're algorithms.
How is it sweet?

Speaker 2 I was afraid that if I added her as a friend, that she would

Speaker 2 not accept me. And then I, I don't know if I am ready to be rejected by Laura Dern.
I think I like a world where I have the possibility to be friends with her still.

Speaker 2 And I don't want that possibility to be shut down just yet.

Speaker 1 No, you have to be rejected by Laura Dern. That's how you build calluses, you know? And then you don't care if you're rejected by people.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe, okay. I'll go to Facebook.
If it's still suggesting her, I'll add her.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to add her dern. Come on, reach for the stars.

Speaker 2 Facebook knows everything. I mean, it's someone I might know.

Speaker 1 It's someone I might know.

Speaker 1 So she's talking about the girls. Oh, no, no.
We go to Drew. So Drew's like, there's so much change.
And, you know, it's just so disheartening this divorce. You know, it's been a year now.

Speaker 1 I would have hoped that Ralph and I could have mediated on our own, but, you know, we just couldn't agree on anything. And then we see a flashback to last year's reunion.

Speaker 1 Mirandi's like, oh, were you faithful to Drew, Ralph? And he's like, it would have came out already. He's like, that is not the question.
Now, I wish they would have shown.

Speaker 1 Where Drew was like, I've written a solo, a ballad for Ralph. Can I sing it right in front of Ralph? Have Ralph sit here on the reunion stage.
And go into the basement.

Speaker 1 You piece of shit. You hurt me.

Speaker 1 I love that. That was one of my favorite all-time housewives moments.

Speaker 2 And Drew is like, our divorce is dramatic. It's a roller coaster.
It's a shit show.

Speaker 2 And you can tell at this moment, Drew thinks that she's like the center peach of the season. She's like, okay, everyone, I get it.
I'll just have the weight of the season on my shoulders. I can do it.

Speaker 2 Don't worry.

Speaker 1 That's Drew every season. That's Drew.
That's why she's so good at this. And a lot of people are disappointed that like out of everybody that made it back, we're bringing back Drew.
This is why.

Speaker 1 It's the delusion.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like it's very reluctantly, Drew Sedora is a good housewife because she is so deluded and she's so she's so shady. And that's, that's kind of what we need and want from our housewives.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So Kenya comes, speaking of, Kenya comes over with Brooklyn and the kids go play dolls and stuff.
And she's like, so a lot has changed. This was actually Ralph's office.

Speaker 1 And then we see Ralph's barber chair. Is it actually a barber shop now? Because there's a bunch of people in there.

Speaker 2 She turned it basically into a glam room. So Ralph's office is a glam spot now.

Speaker 1 And Kenya's like, well, where's Ralph?

Speaker 2 And she's like, well, so basically we had a court order when we went to court and he got moved to the basement.

Speaker 1 Ralph?

Speaker 2 Ralph is in the basement, unseen by the the cameras, like an ogre, like the troll under the bridge.

Speaker 1 It's so good. And then their daughter's like, where's daddy? She says, go downstairs to the basement.
She's like, I'm scared, mommy. Go.

Speaker 1 So she's like, turn on the lights, see if daddy's down there. I like that Ralph is in the basement in the dark.

Speaker 2 I'm just imagining he's like going to come out to light and his hair is going to be like big and he's going to be like, like walking on the ceiling or something.

Speaker 1 So we hear his voices and she's like, daddy, daddy. He's like, baby girl, how are you doing, my love?

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 1 She was

Speaker 2 throwing raw meat down there.

Speaker 1 Here's breakfast.

Speaker 1 Just throwing a turkey leg down there. Eat your breakfast.

Speaker 1 Send the tray back up and you're done.

Speaker 2 So Kenya's like, not banished to the basement. Are you allowed to go down there? She's like, no, not without permission.
He has a whole different entrance.

Speaker 2 And every first, third, and fifth weekend, he gets fed. And that's when I have to leave.

Speaker 1 And I love that she leaves the house and what he gets to walk around the house every other weekend. That's so fucking funny to me.
Ralph's just like, rub my wiener on that, rub my wiener on that.

Speaker 1 Rub my wiener on that.

Speaker 1 And she goes, well, I was hoping he would take that opportunity to move out and get a life, but fortunately, he didn't.

Speaker 1 You know, I thought he would do what he loves to do, which is be out in the streets.

Speaker 1 But no,

Speaker 1 he's in the basement, the dark, dog basement. So she tells Kenya that they don't communicate.
They have to communicate through like a divorce app thing.

Speaker 1 And he tries to get shitty on the app, but she's like, well, the judge can read it. So I hope he has fun with that.

Speaker 2 That's so Ralph to be like, to go off on

Speaker 2 an app that is solely read by a judge.

Speaker 1 Dummy, Ralph. It's so stupid.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 Kenya's like, so what is Drew doing? And she goes, well, I literally did five movies last year.

Speaker 2 You may have seen Enora. I was not in that.
And then I'm doing my music.

Speaker 1 I did audition for Enora. And it's really funny because my response, they said,

Speaker 1 no.

Speaker 2 So I thought that was. Yeah, it was actually not.

Speaker 2 It was actually an Australian casting person who said,

Speaker 2 and I've been doing music. You may have seen my duet with Beyonce, wherein I stood up next to my TV and sang along with her during that Netflix halftime show.
So that was really special for me.

Speaker 1 So yeah, doing a lot. She's like, let me tell you this much.
This ain't Texas and this ain't Holdham.

Speaker 1 So you may have heard it.

Speaker 1 So she goes, oh, and you know Dennis from Detroit. He's helping me with my music.
And she's like, Dennis, who? And she goes, Dennis, Dennis, you know, Dennis, hot dog Dennis.

Speaker 1 That's who I'm partnering with on music. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have a new label called Relish. It's huge.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm actually, by the way, I'm opening up for tank in Chicago.
And Kenny's like, oh my God, a tank. That's like amazing.
Yeah, it's a dunk tank, actually. It's not the musician tank.

Speaker 2 I'm going to a carnival and I'll be singing songs there. So I'm really excited.

Speaker 1 And Kenny's like, Dennis, Portia's Dennis. And she's like, yes.

Speaker 1 So then we see flashbacks of the hot dog game being like

Speaker 1 I'm hot dog Porsche being like I love hot dogs. I'm pregnant

Speaker 2 You know when I've just you know, I've thought about that maybe it's time for me to get into music and I thought if I'm gonna get into music I'm gonna need a record producer and the first one I thought of is like I want someone who works with hot dogs.

Speaker 2 That is how I'm gonna make my my success like straight to the straight to the

Speaker 1 dr. Derwiener Schnitzel's busy.

Speaker 2 I need somebody isn't doesn't every music documentary start off like this?

Speaker 2 It's like someone who's singing and it's like and then I met, you know, Ron Perlman, who was selling hot dogs, and he said, I got a sound for you. And then he like writes a song.

Speaker 2 It's always like this person who sells hot dogs or seatbelts or something like that. And then they get their initial success.
And then that person winds up being like the grifter, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was humming a song about a husband in the basement when I was in line for my 10 cent Costco hot dog. And the guy behind the counter said, I think I can work with this.
So here we are.

Speaker 2 Here we are. So anyway, here's a sample of this new song that Dennis wrote wrote for me

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Speaker 1 So then we see Dennis.

Speaker 1 She was on the phone with Dennis and Drew's like, hey, bro,

Speaker 1 what's going on?

Speaker 1 And he's like, well, we got to put your show together. She's like, yeah.
And he's like, well, we got to do a mini listening session. So I'm thinking a lot of heads.

Speaker 1 of hot dogs, yes, a lot of hot dog heads.

Speaker 2 Okay, so here's what I'm thinking: we're gonna have a sofa and it's gonna be yellow, and we'll put you in kind of like a reddish-brown suit, and you'll lie across the sofa, but then I'll just look like a hot dog.

Speaker 2 Exactly,

Speaker 1 we've got some people coming, we've got Oscar, we've got Mayor. She's like, Sounds great!

Speaker 2 Nathan's coming, we're gonna do it at a ballpark,

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 it's all coming.

Speaker 2 So then we see her just like singing.

Speaker 2 And it says Porsche's Dennis in a glass reflection, just shadily pointing that, pointing it out.

Speaker 1 She's going to say in Hebrew. She's like, just want to make the heads happy.

Speaker 2 This is going out to an entire nation.

Speaker 2 This is, let's say, this is going out to a higher. What was the slogan?

Speaker 1 We cook for a higher God.

Speaker 2 I don't know what it is. So

Speaker 2 Kenya is like, wait a minute. So how does Portia feel about that?

Speaker 2 So she was like, well, she was just like, girl, yeah.

Speaker 2 And I was like, just very grateful for Dennis and who he has been in my life and showing up as like my angel on earth because literally there were days where I couldn't get out of bed crying.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I can't stop you from crying, but I can feed you hot dogs. And, you know, I knew I had a session and I would get there.

Speaker 2 And like, he was that saving grace when I was going through all that I was going. It was just all good.
And he's just a stand-up guy who wants to be there for his daughter.

Speaker 2 And he's like, look, this music is going to help me pay for my daughter's college. And we're all on the same team.
This is a family, just a hot dog vendor. producing a record.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Kenya's like, um, how come you didn't ever produce anything for Porsche? Because she tried to put out a song a while ago and it didn't go anywhere.

Speaker 1 And then we see Portia's Portia's music video for 2014, Flatline.

Speaker 1 That's great. That's

Speaker 2 that Flatline is an appropriate name for a song and a musical career.

Speaker 1 You know, Portia may not be the best singer, but she's a psychic singer. So you got to handle that.

Speaker 1 So Drew's like, well, maybe because he wasn't into music then. And Kenya's like, but you just said it was his greatest passion.

Speaker 1 like, Well, um, I didn't, I don't know how long it's been his passion, you know, but he told me he did talk to Porsche to get her blessing. And she goes, Did he get it?

Speaker 1 She's like, Um, he told me he did. So I was like, Cool.
I mean, I'm sure she's, you know, I'm sure she's just not going to speak up.

Speaker 1 I mean, Porsche's going to be somebody who's going to speak her mind if she's mad. And she hasn't said anything to me yet.
So I'm sure everything's going to be fine.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what could go wrong? So now we go to a place called Dirty Tea, and now it's time to meet Kelly, a new cast member. And so this is basically a long scene where we learn about Kelly.

Speaker 2 She has a daughter, her daughter Chloe's 17th birthday. So Kelly tells us that she is a single mom, and she's like, single mom life is definitely not for the week.

Speaker 2 And it's like, you know, it's a tea party birthday. So everyone has got like hats and everyone's dressed up to the nines, et cetera.
And there's all these kids around.

Speaker 2 And so Chloe, her daughter Chloe, is 17. And then she has a kid named Chance, who's 11.
And then she has twin daughters, Chassity and Chelsea.

Speaker 2 So everyone has a CH first name, which is funny because Kelly is K, but that's fine.

Speaker 2 Whatever. CH is the new K, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, are you supposed to match it to your own?

Speaker 2 Well, I would think so, but maybe not. It's okay.
Starting a trend. It's fine.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so she's got a lot of chop.

Speaker 1 When she's mad, like when your mom gets mad, she's so mad that all the kids, she can't even get it together. She's just like,

Speaker 1 get down here.

Speaker 2 It's like a car starting.

Speaker 1 Or like

Speaker 2 Jason Voorhees.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it is.

Speaker 2 Can't do it. Juicidora's trying to try to sing along to it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It daddy's in the basement.

Speaker 1 Oh, so this is a birthday party for her 17-year-old, and she gives her 17 purses.

Speaker 1 And the kid wanted a pink Birkin, but the mom's like, whatever, you're not getting a pink Birkin for me, but I will give you 17 purses because it's your 17th birthday.

Speaker 1 Couldn't you just buy a Birkin for that? I mean, those were nice purses. Those weren't cheap purses.

Speaker 2 I know. This is

Speaker 2 Kelly proving her.

Speaker 2 Proving why she should be on the show. She's like, I'm wealthy, guys.

Speaker 1 Trust me. Yeah, waffles.

Speaker 2 Waffles make you wealthy. I'm super wealthy, guys.
Put me on Bravo. So she's trying.

Speaker 1 This is not like waffles. This is wealth.
She's like, look inside your purse, honey. There's your real present.
It's a waffle.

Speaker 2 I am creating generational waffle wealth. So

Speaker 2 she's getting divorced and everything. And

Speaker 2 Brit, Brittany is there.

Speaker 2 This is her friend Brittany. This is not Brit, who's the new cast member, but Brittany is asking how she feels about getting divorced.

Speaker 2 And she's saying it's been like a long two and a half years of her life. And she just wants to cut that out and take her name back.
And she says her ex-Mark

Speaker 2 is a father of her three daughters, and it's been hard. They were married for 11 years,

Speaker 2 and she got married, she had children, and she created a business.

Speaker 2 And so she's saying, like, how do we turn from that into complete enemies?

Speaker 1 So we get her resume. She's from Baltimore.
She's been here since 2003. And she started a restaurant in 2016 called Nana's Chickens and Waffles.
Or chicken and waffles. Not chickens.

Speaker 1 They're actual chickens eating waffles nana's chicken and waffles and um she she's like i named the restaurant after my grandmother which is you know tricky because everyone's going to trust a place called nana's no one's going to trust a place called like grandmother uh granddaughters

Speaker 1 chicken and waffles well i don't want to eat second cousins the experienced person's chicken and waffles yeah Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Stepsisters, Nana, you know, chicken and waffles. So she's like, yeah, it's like my second child.
And it's just this little restaurant, but it turned into a huge deal. So now I have 24 karat

Speaker 1 gold maple syrup. And that was featured in Forbes.
And

Speaker 2 a line of waffle mix. Waffle mix.

Speaker 2 A cookbook.

Speaker 1 And she's very excited about a mimosa mix. What the fuck? Mimosa is two things.
It's champagne and orange juice. What are you putting tangent into a champagne?

Speaker 2 I was like, mimosa mix, is that just orange juice?

Speaker 1 Like you threw that juice?

Speaker 2 She's like, yeah, you can pretty much put that shit in everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because it's orange juice.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 she's like, when somebody is constantly tearing you down, trying to take and be me and spiteful, when we went to court that last time, you know what he told me?

Speaker 2 He said pancakes are better than waffles. I swear to God, in front of my daughter.
It was terrible.

Speaker 2 Anyway, he threatened me, and my daughters don't deserve that.

Speaker 1 They come from a loving, waffle-forward home. Yeah.
And then she's, you know, spending time with her kids, you know, the real cute. Her kids are really cute.

Speaker 1 And then we see the montage of her 17 presents

Speaker 1 gift giving thing. And then she's like, yeah, well, this is nothing new for my kids.
You know, they're used to this kind of thing. So I'm going to have to do it for every kid when they turn 17.

Speaker 1 So purse economy, here I come.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So now we go to Portia. And, you know, it's not a real household of Atlanta season without someone someone going to visit that lawyer, Randy.
So here she is. She is arriving.

Speaker 1 This is the

Speaker 2 elevator.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. This elevator was so hilarious.
So she's trying to get out of the elevator and it starts closing and then it closes on her butt, but it won't reopen. And she's just like eating her butt.

Speaker 1 She's like, hey, hey, hey.

Speaker 1 She's like, yeah, it's definitely crazy having to call Randy. God, that's insane.
I got to file for divorce.

Speaker 2 Is it crazy? I mean, I swear this guy's been on every single season. I'm surprised he's not holding a beach at this point.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then Randy, of course, is like, oh my God, Portia, it is so good to have you back in my life again.
You don't want to hear that from a divorce.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 He's like, thank God I can finally pay off my kids' college. God, your divorces are lengthy.
This is going to be fun.

Speaker 2 He's like, yeah, you really walked away from a lot. And then we see Portia's greatest hits.
We see her with

Speaker 2 the the Cordell after Cordell. And she's like, Cordell packed up my stuff.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, and I'm like, some random, like, Karma has his name, and that name is bitch. And I'm going to get him.
I'm going to fight him in that big bubble butt.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 she says that she was smart to do it. She did a prenup this time because she had to be more responsible.

Speaker 2 And she says that in her relationship with Simon, she felt like that if she had him by her side, that they were going to conquer everything.

Speaker 2 But then she started to to realize that there were just like a lot of untruths going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And just the way that Porsche is putting it all out, like, I just had no idea what was happening. The headlines, they're putting headlines now in these weird little

Speaker 1 Chiron things at the bottom and they just like flick up for two seconds, but they're all like fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud, nothing but fraud, nothing but lies, nothing but fraud.

Speaker 1 All the headlines that come up.

Speaker 1 So she's like, with Simon at my side, I thought I could conquer anything,

Speaker 1 but I can't get out of the elevator right. Make him go, make him go.

Speaker 1 So Randy's excited.

Speaker 1 But one of the big points of contention is that she claims this is her, you know, since it's the marital home and they have 50-50 split over the home, she should be able to shoot in it.

Speaker 1 And he's trying to not allow her to shoot in the home. And that's cutting off her money.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and you don't mess with that at all.

Speaker 1 So Randy's like, well, the court gave you the right to live in the house.

Speaker 2 And so we're going to try to do an extra document.

Speaker 2 This is is the court is telling everyone wants to do film that they have the full right to do that i just want to say a shout out to my daughter hi hi honey i'm back on tv so then um basically they're gonna do some lawyerly stuff and portia tells us that simon tend to cease and desist etc and the home and and she's like not going to like she can't have she needs to film in the home like that is cutting off her lifeblood so she is gonna fight She's like, you know, I mean, it's not like I was just sitting there like some dumb little wife and just enjoying some money.

Speaker 1 No, I actually asked my husband, what's going on? Why are we in the secondary line at the airport?

Speaker 1 Any judge is going to be like, yep, she knew. She knew.

Speaker 1 Give this woman whatever she wants. She didn't get to go through the clear line for Christ's sake.

Speaker 1 So she's like, but just all this information that I'd asked him about, he lied about and came out about him being like him not having a real green guard,

Speaker 1 him not having more than gold status on American Airlines. I mean, he should be executive platinum by now.

Speaker 1 I mean, the the only way for you to really protect yourself at the end of the day is if you have a prenuptance to enforce it, so you only have to enforce it by doing a divorce. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, and also the green card thing that he was, he's been trying to get citizenship and stuff, but couldn't he get it from being married to her?

Speaker 1 I guess I need to update myself on all of this drama because I don't remember at all.

Speaker 1 So then we see the headlines. Court documents show Simon is fighting for U.S.
citizenship, but his crime middle past keeps getting him denied. Well, that answered my question.

Speaker 1 Simon's company ordered to pay nearly $900,000 in unpaid private jet bill. Wow.

Speaker 2 That's not good. And so Porsche's like

Speaker 2 saying that in their relationship, you know, she has to pride herself on having great communication. And when the communication started to lack, it felt intentional.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Porsche's like, we had an argument on Valentine's Day, but I'm old school. How are you old school? You're on your third marriage.
You married a hot dog, Maven, the last time.

Speaker 1 And this one is clearly there was something wrong with this guy. So you're not,

Speaker 1 Porsche's like, you know me, traditionalist.

Speaker 1 Now, I know it looks like to many people, like, oh, she posted this perfect life. But I look back and I could think to myself, I definitely posted this knowing that we were not okay.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we see her posting all these things, like everything was all great. And so

Speaker 2 basically, randy's like saying well there's been some bad stuff that's been out there and you know you always take the high road not just because it's good life advice but it's also good court advice and she says that she reached out to him um just to see if they could find some sort of peace um and she's like she starts to get emotional and she's just saying how it's just really hard but she's given up on that part so she has to become the person that he's saying you know basically she has to kind of become steely and cold and icy uh just like he's accusing her of being just that way she can have you know her day in court Yeah.

Speaker 1 So then we go to dinner and drinks at knife.

Speaker 1 And we're with Shamia, Britt, and Kelly. And so now we meet Britt.

Speaker 2 So this is now when the show like properly begins in my book. It's like, okay, we've met every, most everyone, not Britt, but like now we're starting to get into group scenes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, now we get some girl time with some girls. Girls, girls.
So we get some time with the girls and Britt introduces herself and she's like, my husband's all about making sure I'm that girl.

Speaker 1 I had one ring that was seven and a half carats and now I have a 10 carat solitaire. Hold on, let me clean it.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 1 Throws it at the camera.

Speaker 2 So now here's Britt's exotic story. She's like, she's like, me and Kelly met through a mutual friend.

Speaker 2 Me being an insurance agent, I'm always going to, I'm going to all of like the flyest, sexiest events in the city.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, yes.

Speaker 2 That's, I'm sure that's why most people get into insurance because that naturally comes with working in insurance going to the fly the glamorous life of insurance agents you know I mean look at Vicki Gunvelson going to fly sexy events all the time in Orange County

Speaker 1 it's not state farm it's state farmhouse modern in the hills darling

Speaker 2 so at one of these events that she got to go to naturally by being an insurance agent um she met kelly and um and she's like well one of my friends was like i think you're gonna really like kelly Kelly.

Speaker 2 And she's like, really over the top. And like, the second we met, I already knew it was gonna be like it was gonna be a vibe, like dancing, you know.

Speaker 2 And then, like, I started drinking, and like, she, like, I gotta make sure my

Speaker 2 titties stay in because it gets wild, you know. And I saw her titties popping out, also, like, my titties were popping out, and her titties were popping out.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh my god, insurance and waffles makes a great combination.

Speaker 1 That's how I knew we were going to be friends. Both of our titties were popping out.
So here we are, still hanging out.

Speaker 2 We can put a premium on that waffle. Okay, let's get this business together.

Speaker 1 So they order some drinks, and Kelly's like, oh my God, can I just tell you something, Britt? I'm just so proud of you. You know, I mean, you're really kicking motherhood's ass right now.

Speaker 1 I mean, wow, what a journey. Wow, everything.

Speaker 1 And, oh, no, she's talking to Shamia. And so Shamia's like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yep, things are going great. $9 million house, $9 million.

Speaker 2 And so they, oh, sorry kelly's like cheers to love peace happiness and maple syrup cheers yeah so shamia tells them that she's gonna have a birthday party she's like uh they're like well who's gonna come she goes well my best friend portia portia's going through divorce it's so public

Speaker 2 and you know kelly's like oh poor baby oh i feel so bad for her you know sure yeah she's gonna come out on top yeah of course and then kelly's like she probably should have never checked that girl's man though

Speaker 1 it's like whoa whoa whoa she goes yeah because because that man was taken a little bit she's like no no no let's be clear simon and his ex they were very public with their separation and then we see the headline phelin announces she and husband simon are splitting up after two years of marriage and then another headline portia williams engaged to simon love wins the cast member shared the news that she's in a relationship five minutes later Yeah,

Speaker 2 my memory of it, and I could be completely wrong, my memory of it was that there was that Atlanta reunion. And the very next day, as soon as the third part of that reunion ended, the news dropped.

Speaker 2 Portia was like, surprise, I'm engaged. And I hadn't even heard that Simon and Fallon had divorced, but maybe it's because it's just like, who cared? It didn't land on the radar.

Speaker 2 And I seem to remember everyone was like, what the hell? And then it came out later, like, oh, actually, Fallon and Simon had, you know, separated like a month prior or whatever.

Speaker 2 It obviously was like very, very close, but in my mind, yeah, in my mind, I had actually heard about them getting together before I'd heard about a divorce.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And then remember there was that whole thing where Simon's like, no, because Phelan was cheating with the pool boy.
And then she like ran off with the pool boy or something.

Speaker 1 So that was Porsche's thing. Like she was cheating with the pool boy.
So he wasn't taken anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That was,

Speaker 2 so Kelly's like, it was just, it was a little bit of a gray area, you know? And she's like, no, there was no crossover.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but from like outside looking in, all I'm saying is to come from to come to somebody's home, to be greeted by their husband, to eat their waffles, and then suddenly this happens and then you wind up marrying that person.

Speaker 2 Absolutely, that shit does look crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Kelly's, she's just like, whatever. We've seen it on the blogs.
You know, they're messy. And Shamia's like, wow, you know, you couldn't, you just can't be blaming people, you know?

Speaker 1 I just want you to get to know Portia for yourself. And Shamia says, I know Portia reached out to both of them, you know, Simon and his ex-wife and was like, hey, guys, I'm here for you.

Speaker 1 And they're like, yeah, but she's reaching out to a friend's husband. Who does that?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, exactly. And Kelly's like, yeah, I just think it's a fine line.
And so Shamia's like, well, who says across the line?

Speaker 1 You are, you are Romans.

Speaker 2 So Shamia is like, you know, Portia and I have been friends since we were children and I love her and I feel obligated to have her back, which means that their friendship is going to disintegrate this season because this is how, this is the nature of these shows is that you start on the premiere saying, like, we are, our friendship is so strong and so great.

Speaker 2 But as we'll see later in the episode, Portia shows up late to the birthday party and like interrupts Shamia's big moment.

Speaker 2 So I guarantee this is a friendship that's going to fall apart over the course of the season.

Speaker 1 I know. It's so sad.

Speaker 1 But also, haha.

Speaker 1 Hello there. This is a two-part recap, okay? This is the end of part one.
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Speaker 4 Picture this.

Speaker 6 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 6 Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water. And it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 6 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 6 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 6 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 6 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.