#2755 Southern Charm S10E13: Dunce On This Island

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talk about i'm ben mandelker and joining me today the one the only ronnie carrom hey ronnie how's it going hey what's going on baby you know just it's friday we made it to the end of the week so excited um and one week from today our live shows are resuming in cincinnati we're doing cinc and Toronto all next weekend, which is really wild when you think about it. So Cincinnati, we're going to be doing Summer House, and then Minneapolis, we're going to do Southern Charm.
And in Toronto, we're doing a classic, classic Real Housewives, Roni, season eight, episode nine. It's the famous Berkshires episode, December Berkshires County.
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Let's get on with this, shall we? Southern Charm. we're still on vacation and Shep is still trying to convince us.
He's just a sweet little boy. A boy who wants a girl, a girl who won't say yes.
A girl who doesn't understand the meaning of a Megalodon necklace. Gosh.
I have to say this this, I think, was one of the funniest Southern Charm episodes that I can remember. Like, just in terms of the sheer amount of, number of times I laughed and cringed I was covering my face.
It was just like the whole episode just had me cracking up. I'll always remember it.
It was, it was, it was, it it was an ordeal it was so cringy it was a lot you had the hypocrisy of shep the hypocrisy of craig bringing in an alcoholism storyline while he's fucking fall down drunk yes like you're doing great over there craig he's like bro i'm just trying not to be an alcoholic i'm like you're drunk can we have this conversation when you're not drunk seriously so let's let's dive right into it so um they are coming back from uh boat they just got on this yacht etc and so now they're gonna get ready for dinner yeah i feel like i feel like this whole vacation is always always starts off with them just getting off of a boat and going to dinner.

So we're in the guy's suite and Shep is laying on the bed.

And Shep is like, of course, Craig, are you out of the shower yet?

He's like, yeah, what's up?

He's like, well, you're going to think I'm an idiot, but can I ask you a question?

And his leg is shaped.

You would think that there is a live wire that has been attached to his calf because that leg is like... Girl, that leg is shaking so much you'd think it had nostrils.
So Shep's like, oh my gosh, this is crazy, Greg. It's crazy.
I got this necklace for a girl. Will I look like a fool? Will I look tool will i look like jerule if i give it to her and then um craig's just like why and he's like i'm gonna see her tonight she's coming to dinner and craig's like oh god the necklace isn't the weird thing the dinner is so she's coming to dinner give her the necklace i mean i think the decision's dinner that's crazy That's the crazy part.
You don't have dinner with so she's coming to dinner. Give her the necklace.
I mean, I think the decision is dinner. That's crazy.
That's the crazy part. You don't do you don't have dinner with somebody that's not in love with you.
Those are the rules of love. Well, she's coming to dinner.
Bravo. Do you have anything to say about that? Gosh, I thought I'd get a love, not a sad then craig why is she coming to dinner it was like a no it's like a lie and got a seam like a why is she coming to dinner you slept on the beach last night because of her i mean craig is going to be the one who's going to lecture shep about doing things for uh someone who's clearly annoyed by the their affections i mean come on craig that's your whole relationship with paige yeah and shep's over it now he's like what and also shep didn't sleep on the beach because of her he slept on the beach because he's a fucking drunk okay yeah keep himself in line that's why he slept on the beach he slept on the beach not because of love it's because of demons so shep is like gosh i did sleep on that beach and craig's like but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see that she doesn't like him i mean shep's gonna continue to get led on so what's the point of having her at dinner because also like she's allowed to come to dinner she's, Shep's going to continue to get led on.
So what's the point of having her at dinner? Because also like, she's allowed to come to dinner. She's like, Shep invited her.
He likes her. It's not going anywhere, but like, let her come to dinner.
You know, it wouldn't be, her coming to dinner is not a bad thing. If you're not a dick to her, Craig, which he winds up being.
Yeah. Craig is in full on belligerent drunk Craig mode this whole episode, but it's funny because he's still got his waving judgy finger around so it's like perfect craig it's like bloated faced red faced craig you know judging everybody while he's a walking mess you know it's perfect and also shep just to say it again shep is not being led on by this girl how is he being led on which he won't even show up anywhere or shoot with yeah he's not being led on he's being told pretty clearly and he's not listening she's trying to be polite because he keeps guilting her and she's like oh god this guy brought all his friends down like it would be so dick if i just ghost him and it's gonna be documented on tv so let me like say i'll try to like say hi or whatever i don't know but craig is i think craig is really demonizing um sienna in a way that i think is actually like really obnoxious so craig's like well i'm not challenging if she's a good person or not no no but we have a connection this sort of connection that you honor by finding a megalodon tooth and putting it on a chain and wrapping it around her neck so craig's like no no you're broken up not anymore it's over so he's like so what good is this dinner gonna do and he's like it doesn't matter craig it's happening so you know shep's like you know craig gets it in his mind that someone's not right for one of his friends, and he will not back down.
And so he's like, you know, don't ask me to be rational at this moment. That's ridiculous.
I'm a boy, a boy with a heart, a heart that's in love. You know, Hallecklock, it doesn't bother me, but I mean, it does a little, but I can handle this.
Big boys get shark teeth. craig is like he's like fine it's like i'll handle it okay so uh shep is like the shep is he's like shep does it bother you and shep's like no i like being around her i love being around sienna just as she loves me she really loves me craig's like well how about this we don't ignore the end result tonight so however the you end up tonight if i'm looking for you again in the hotel at four in the morning can you listen to me and you don't talk to her ever again yeah if this goes all right then we're done with her and he goes spell awry which is really funny I can't I like that he's trying

to neg Craig on his way out um I don't think you're allowed to make people when you're carrying around a Megalodon necklace to give to somebody you jackass I will say the Megalodon necklace looked better than I thought it would but it's still a Megalodon necklace it's a shark with Matt Glitz.

That's still like a

like a beachcomber

like tchotchke.

So,

um,

I, would but it's still a megalodon necklace it's a shark tooth necklace it's still like a like a beachcomber like tchotchke so um i got you a license plate that says your name to hang in your bedroom get the fuck out of here bro so she's he's like okay gosh i'm gonna go walk with sienna down to where we're eating. And then we're going to hang out and we're going to have fun.
We're going to have fun. She will see that we are a fun, fun group.
And then she'll love me again. It'll happen, guys.
Yeah. So the guys are like, ah, he doesn't listen to us.
He doesn't listen to us. Because Craig's like, when are you going to have an opinion on something awesome? He's like, she's not going to listen to us anyway on and then Rodrigo just one of the guys he's like Jesus Christ I forgot he was even there they just like it's like a it's like a jump it's like a jump cut to him a jump scare I was like oh Rodrigo was just sitting on the sofa right below this entire conversation like guys so Austin's like is what Craig's saying to Shep true I think yes is the is the way he's delivering it wrong i think yes as well i mean craig is just being a dick it's insane right now so now we go over to the girls suite and whitney does something radical which is that he shows up wearing all white which i was like i don't understand this like is he yeah is he going going to a hospital? Like, why is he wearing black? Is he well? Have we seen white and linen before? It's a weird, it's just so wrinkly for, for Whitney, but I like it.
I mean, Whitney's a fun person to watch sink into alcoholism. I have to say, cause he's always kind of kept it together, but he is no longer keeping it together.
He just kind of just wanders around the beach trolling for, people, and then just joins in the slut-shamed girls every once in a while, wasted. You know when you see an old wasp with a bow tie on slouched over and slurring and murmuring, and you think to yourself, how did they get like that? It's happened.
Whitney did it. Congratulations.
Yeah. You're like, oh my God, they're going to sting me.
Why is that wasp in a bow tie what is evolution's happening too quickly uh so he goes to madison's room and she's getting ready he's like you have never put that um so uh tell me about this uh boat cruise this morning what did i miss and that's like it was massive yeah it was great and sally's like yeah it was a good day i mean chef was just being sad over sienna yeah like a simp like a beta simp when he's like oh i don't know what that means but like what the goes wrong with him well he can't wrap his head around the fact that she's just not into him that he he doesn't you know she just he can't understand that she's just not born for corn okay and like could you imagine bringing all your friends and coming here and they're not getting laid see him he's like hey i want you to do the do the smokey eyes do the smokey eyes medicine she's like with these tits i look like a whore and he's like it it's not like you don't look like one anyway.

Wow, Whitney.

Every episode in, Whitney's in this season, he's disgusting.

It's usually a couple.

But it's pretty, he's batting pretty high this time.

Can you just put all your black back on?

I'll see you soon, devil.

I don't like it.

There's a white clothing wearing Whitney.

Go back to the black stuff. Yeah.
So then we go to the boys suite and Craig's like, hey, Austin, do me a favor. If things get intense, just grab my arm.
So why are you so worked up about this, Craig? Jeez. Rodrigo's like, he's an empath.
Yeah. Craig goes, because I'm sensitive to justice and like the right and the wrong he just wants justice also like yeah well that sounds like jt dude which is kind of funny that he just dinged him for that and craig craig's like what but like also like that doesn't mean that no one else in the world wants it i want justice too he's saying he wants justice doesn't mean that no one else in the world wants it.
I want justice too. He's a fellow justice.
He's saying he wants justice doesn't mean I can't also want justice. I'm a lawyer and a storyteller.
Tall justice, as we know, is way more acceptable than short justice. So now the beach dinner table, Shep comes, you know, and he's like, Hi, are you D'Amico? Talk to me about dinner.
Looks like you've got everything under control. Wow, this dinner was supposed to be a coronation of our relationship.
Oh, we're supposed to ride off into the sunset. Oh, but here I am, like entering enemy territory almost.
I mean, where do I even stand? What position am I even in? It's so hard to express in the words of mcbeth thou art thouest and sun is like flowerest you haven't read mcbeth have you good good roll with it keep it in keep it in guys i feel like i'm in enemy territory it's like the vietcong are all around me and ken burns isn't here with a camera um also uh by the way just just just one say i don't know if you can ride off into the sunset if you're on a little island so that may be a problem with the the plan all along so now uh sienna shows up and he's like uh they hug and everything and sit down how you? How's it going? She's like, good, except for the sandstorm you've just whipped up with your foot right now. Could you just settle that thing down, please? Thank you very much.
I just have to say, Shep, is this guy who set up everything, this D'Amico guy. Shep's like, wow, so you set up dinner? Great.
Wow, that looks great. Oh, you set up a fire pit for my friends? Wow, you know how to light that? Do you have matches? Yeah, he knows how to fucking light it, Shep.
He works it. Shep's just like, you're local.
Are you sure you understand how fires work? Need any help with that? Sit down. By the way, I just want to say, sorry, I thought I was on mute.
And I just slurped the bottom of my, my, my smoothie and it made a disgusting straw slurping sound. And I thought I had muted myself and I realized I did not hit mute.
So sorry, everyone who just had me slurping in their ears. Well, that's good.
Yeah. Probably sounded like a fart, which is what it looks like.
Sienna just smelled. So he's like, how are you? And she's like, good.
Like kind of looking at the ground and, uh know he's like oh wow you know i told you i got a gift i'm gonna give it to you do you want it she's like i mean i like gifts yeah sure so he's like really here we go well gifts that's like my love language Okay, here we go. So Sienna's like, oh, okay.

He's like, are you nervous? Are you weird? Look, do you see? She's like, no, I'm curious what this is. And she's like opening up this little romantically wrapped in tissue paper necklace.
Like not even like in a nice little box. It's like it's in a Target bag.
It like and she's like oh it's a triangle it's a megalodon tooth oh it's a shark necklace shark he's like yeah but it's like a prehistoric shark that was a lot bigger than all the other sharks oh god imagine this old man trying to hit on a young woman and bragging that he brought a prehistoric tooth to her. It's just so on the nose, you know? This is, this shark tooth is bigger than the other, like a normal shark tooth.
So even though I can't afford that $10 million mansion around the bend, I can afford big shark teeth. She's like, oh, well, I'll wear it right now.
So she puts it on. She looks good right now because being in the jaws of a prehistoric shark sounds better than being in this situation right now.
Just fucking put it on me. You have 50 more.
Fucking cried. Someone called the bag.
Jesus. Yeah.
He's like, well, well i mean it really accentuates your wonderful chest and she's like ah you're so silly do you like do you like how it looks because this is the last time you see it on me by the way just what every woman wants to hear when she's already got the egg but your chants are good so then he tries to fix her hair and like oh no don't touch the hair and so he's like oh what she's like how's my hair blowing in the wind oh gosh yeah god i've never been more jealous of my hair than i am right now the ability to just be blown away from the situation even my hair isn't trying to escape well you know whatever we have whatever this is, this is a connection, okay? And that's really rare in this world. It's been a whirlwind, a passion, a love, and I haven't even given you sympholus yet.
I mean, that's why I invited you to Italy to mean my brother, my sister, my nieces, my mom, my dad, that weird cousin built a a crib in her house for an entire season it's mossy and i've been standing here the whole time um i got a baby inside of me gosh yeah it's a connection i think someone has to tell shep that just because you feel love and you feel a connection does not mean it's automatic for the other person. And the more you say it does not mean the more true it is.
So she's like, um, I just, and he's like, well, I, yeah, I actually, it doesn't feel like that at all. It feels like a death by a thousand paper cuts, honestly.
And she's like, yeah, but we weren't in a relationship. Well whoa but so what were those moments that we had like what was that just an apparition or something I mean megalodon teeth don't grow on trees so that has to mean something yeah and I have to point out that she keeps trying to talk and he won't let her talk which is his normal state where he just wants to like project all this love onto her and just have her keep nodding.
And she's not, she keeps trying to say something and he won't let her. So finally she's like, look, you know, we had fun and we were always having a good time.
Right. You know, am I right? And he's like, wow, that's really minimizing it in my mind.
I mean, to me, spending three vacation weeks with a beauty queen who refuses to call me back is basically marriage. Now, you better learn to make some toast and eggs the way that I like them.
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Meanwhile, up on the balconies of the hotel, Madison and Taylor are talking and they're just looking at the view. And Taylor's news is that she napped and Madison's news is that she should have napped.
And Taylor's like... Are you still napping right now? No, I'm awake.
I can't tell the difference. Is there somebody who can give me a sign? Can you move your face in some way? You look like you're in a coma.
No, it's just how I am.

All right.

Well, let's try and shoot this scene anyway.

Okay, well, I hung out with Whitney for a while.

He wore a wad.

It was strange.

How was Whitney?

Well, he's Whitney.

He's having a blast.

You know him.

It's like, oh, I wonder if Sienna's going to show up or not.

But if not, Shep's going to cry.

I mean, have you ever seen him so emotional?

And Taylor's like, no, no, i didn't bring out that side of him the only terrible time i ever saw him this emotional was when i stepped on an egg in that egg game at that frank lord wright house it's like no not that kind of emotional then now i think he's getting a taste of his own medicine you know like it's not a's not a good feeling, is it? Like, it tastes bad. So then Leva FaceTimes in.
She goes, hey, I miss you guys. What did I miss? I'm dying to get to know what's going on.
What's everyone... What is she even doing? Why even bother? Hang up.
Who even answers Leva's calls at this point? Leva, you don't do anything. You're not even showing up to work yet again.
Just hang up the phone. I don't care what Leva thinks.
I have to say, I do not have, like, it's so amusing to me how much, like, you are so, like, angered by Leva. She does nothing.
She does nothing. She's like anyone else.
She shows up on phone calls. She does nothing on this show.
She's just, like, checked out and doesn't do anything, and she just keeps getting a check, you know? It's like how you always bring up that person in a group project who you just, who doesn't do anything and then still wants to get the grade at the end. That's how I feel.
Lemon is. Oh, okay.
I'm in. I have group project anger.
Well, she's called in today, but we don't, we can skip the scene. No, we don't have to skip it.
Oh my god, it's not real. I think she's annoying.
So she's like, yeah, so I met Shep's girlfriend because remember at the dog party, she winked at me and she was like, you know, girl, I'm here for a good time and not a long time. They're like, oh my god.
She's like, well, I miss you guys. Yeah, and so taylor's like well sienna's been saying sienna's here and that's been like a whole debacle and love is like what do you mean she's like well they haven't stayed together one night she hasn't stayed with the not with him he hasn't stayed with her like don't you think that's weird yeah it's very bizarre and she's like guys guys turn 40 and then one day they meet a girl that's like in their 20s and they're way faster smarter and way better at the game and then that girl just like schools them and then that's when they finally feel 40 she's just not that yeah um which is pretty true and so then we speaking which we then go back to sienna and shep and shep is like we're in love will you admit that and she's like um i don't know if we're in love i'm not even sure we're in like he's like no you felt love you i know you felt love because i said i loved you so that meant that you loved me and that's what we talked about i mean give me like tell me that like do we do we love like is there is there an event that occurred that was like oh shit like we were taking on top of a roller coaster and on a journey it's like yeah if you were going up on the roller coaster roller coasters only go in one direction after you go up and it's not going farther up yeah it's just down and then it was derailed and you were that idiot who wasn't even wearing a seatbelt and then wondered why he got flung off the seat, flung off the roller.
I know, enjoy your severed arm. And Sienna's like, but we weren't even in a relationship.
And I completely disagree with that assessment. I can't agree to disagree.
She's like, but we didn't have a label on it. He's like, I hate labels.ial oh my god like chep like can't take get the hint chep oh my god i wanted to shake my laptop he's like here's what i tell labels get off my lawn she's like um i feel a little sick oh gosh did you eat the megalodon tooth no no i'm it's still i'm still wearing it well i had my heart broken about three or four times but this might be the first time that i've tried to fight for something when it appeared i thought they didn't want it i feel like ophelia and hamlet unrequited love or is that macbeth all i know is all the world's a stage and And all the men and women merely Megalodon teeth.
Well, you feel like Ophelia. There's the ocean.
Take a walk. So he's like, I've just heard.
I got her a Megalodon. She's like, oh my God, I hate this guy.
You're a Megalodon. Leave this woman alone.
Leave her alone. You're a stalker and a creep just go home so now the entire cast comes down to dinner while shep and sienna are sitting there which is already so awkward why would shep why would have this conversation with sienna right in like the public space where the dinner is because he's trying to pressure her into acting like his girlfriend i mean he, okay, if I do this and then all my friends come, surely she's going to fake it being my girlfriend, right? No, she's not.
And good for fucking her. So they come and they see him like trying to convince her.
He's like, but we were together for a month. Come on, Sienna.
I gave you a megalodon, a megalodon necklace. Do you want to watch? Hey, you want to wear my shoes? They were expensive.
Come on. And Austin just sees it and is like, Jesus Christ.
And Matt's like, oh, they're all like, why are you doing this? And why are you doing it right here? You know? So Shep is like, oh gosh, my friends are all here. Let's have fun.
You'll see I'm worth dating. Come on.
Come on on yeah so now uh everybody comes to the beach and she steps trying to hold her hand and she won't hold his hand um good for her and then austin runs up and is hugging her and craig's like he's such a bad guy so uh so then austin's like saying hi well by the way not a pussy like not a pussy to be gracious and kind to a person at your dinner right nothing to you craig jesus christ i think craig might start i think craig's projecting a little bit on women who aren't really interested in the men that they're with because yeah yikes he's thinking i think so personally for somebody who spent the last season being like we're not speaking with shep anymore he's too much of a mess and after bravo con he's disgusting i'm never talking to him again well into this season he's sure a switch to where he's like oh all i really care about is shep's well-being okay but craig also like he spends a lot of time constructing images of himself which he talks about later this episode you know right now he is building the image of himself as like a martha stewart of the south a man martha stewart and previously he's constructed the image of him being a lawyer etc and when and i think that he is particularly triggered by um i don't know if it's women or just people in general who threatened to pierce a hole into like a fragile guy's careful attempt at creating a public image for himself. So he's seeing Sienna doing that for Shep.
You know, like Shep is trying to be like, I'm a good boy. I think also he's got this thing this season where he's like our team versus their team, meaning like old, you know, old stalwarts on the cast versus these newbies who are trying to come in, like ganging up with Madison and Austin to try and get JT kicked off.
And then it's like, if they're not going to, if they're not going to do what they want, then they're like, they can't be part of this cast. But this lady doesn't want to be part of your cast.
You weirdo. Yeah.
He's trying to get the fuck out of let her go yeah you know for as much as you know it's so funny because the trailers for this season uh showed that scene of madison and patricia sitting in the bed being like gold digger and uh the truth is sienna has tried desperately to get away from shep like she is she is she's like what's like, what's the opposite of gold digger? Like gold fill in the holer. She's putting dirt on the gold.
She's like, I'm not digging for this gold. She's like, cover the cave, cover the cave.
Gold barrier. Reverse explosion.
Cover back. Give me plastic.
Yeah. She did a video this week after the last episode where Shep didn't get his way with her.
So of course he insinuated that she's just a gold digging slut because she asked him to buy her a $10 million house. And so now that he can't afford it, that's why she doesn't like him.
Right. That's what he insinuated last week.
And she went on and she's like, we were on a boat, we saw a $10 million house. And I said, that house is beautiful.
I would love to have a house like that one day. She didn't ask him to buy her the house.
Yeah. Yeah.
Stupid shit, ridiculous. And then I learned how to put on eyebrow makeup because that's how Sienna does her.
She's like, well, and then we were on a boat and we saw a house and then, you know, it's really funny thing about houses. If you really think about it, it takes 20 minutes for her to say one fucking thing, but girl, I can do my eyebrows now.
So thanks. Yeah.
Not everyone can be as succinct as we are, you know, During hour 18 of this podcast. So, um, Craig is being a total dick.
He's like, I don't want to say hi. Cause I i think in his mind he's thinking i'm enabling a situation that's what he's claiming but i think he's just being a dick like it's someone at your table like you should just be so gracious enough to say hello especially because you're supposed to have southern charm and you should be chivalrous to a lady so um craig's like my version of friendship is being honest and tough love and austin being an enabler to shep is like not being a good friend um yeah i don't know if craig always loves getting that honesty and tough love coming back to him but that's fine yeah it's just tough love okay craig anybody who criticizes you is completely outed not spoken to for years at a time please with your tough love so then they're trying to you know have nice

stuff Like anybody who criticizes you is completely outed and not spoken to for years at a time. Please, with your tough love.
So then they're trying to, you know, have nice talk with, some of them are trying to make nice with Sienna, right? So Madison's like, Sal, what'd you do today? And she's like, it was very boring. What did you guys do? She's like, oh, well, you know, we had fun.
It was so beautiful. We got to swim.
We talked about corn. So that was good.
And Rodrigo's like, wow, I love this time of the night where everyone's acting. Sally's like, normal? And he goes, normal? Honestly, this is where everyone's their fakest.
And then a conch salad arrives. So then everyone's eating.
God, the last thing I need to see is Austin eating a conch salad. I'm just imagining like conch just like spitting out in all directions It's like when it gets to chef he's got like full-on liquid all up white liquid all over his mouth while he talks and spits everywhere He's like yeah, it's really nice night without little bitch ass here He's like it's a lovely night and Molly's like ha ha ha.
I don't know what i'm laughing at i just feel like i have to laugh ha ha and molly's like you're talking about jt jt where is jt in hell seriously and vanita's like the only thing i'm concerned about right now is jt like is he on a plane did he make it to the airport like how's his blood sugar like is sugar? Like, is he eating okay? What's he drinking? How's he feeling? Those are the things I'm concerned about. Fuck this dinner.
So Ryan's like, um, Sienna, um, me, Shep, Taylor, and Molly. Um, hey, Sienna.
Oh, God, let me start over. Hey, Sienna, me, Shep, Taylor, and Molly went snorkeling today.
So she's like, oh, well, you know, there's sharks out there, right? Because that was his biggest fear. And he's like, you're lucky to be alive.
And he's like, I could have died. So Shep is like, speaking of sharks, Craig, the necklace, look, megalodon tooth sighting, 3 p.m.
That's her chest. And she's like, yeah, he got me a megalodon tooth, guys.
And Craig's like, he was very excited to give you that. Wow, that's really nice.
Wow, what a necklace. And Molly's like, yeah, that's all he's been talking about the whole trip.
So So Madison's like, oh, wait a minute, Taylor, you have that necklace, right?

Didn't he give that to you?

Yeah, you gave us the same necklace.

He's like, no, yours was a shark.

Yours was just a regular shark.

Hers is a megalodon.

The way they are all so undermining him is hilarious.

And Whitney's like, he stays original on what he gives out to girls. She's like, it's a Charleston classic.
And then Sina's like, I think it's a Shep classic. And then everyone just like laughs and Shep is like, gosh, I put a lot of thought into that Megalodon necklace.
Is he part of like a Shark Tooth of the Month club? Or he's just got an excess of shark teeth that he needs to give away to people? I mean, Jesus Christ. He said his friend designs shark tooth necklaces.
That's why he has them. Wow.
So Madison. Tell me you're like a rich white guy in Charleston without telling me you're a rich white guy in Charleston.
You're just like, oh, my friend, I just hang out with a guy who makes shark tooth necklaces all day. So Madison's still trying to pump Sienna for info.
She's like, so how's he doing? Because he was very emotional. Are you doing okay? How are you doing? You doing okay? I mean, Shed's not used to having emotions, so it probably vomited all over your face.
You want me to wipe some emotional vomit off of your face? She's like, I'm okay. It's just, you know, I told him that we should, like, take a step back, you know, because, you know, I think Shep needs someone to be in the passenger seat of his life.
And I'm just like, you know, could you hold this mirror? I'm just not really in the passenger seat of someone's life. Are you doing your eyebrows right here at the tables? Could you speed this up? This is Marilong's show.
Oh, I don't even have a car. I'm kidding, of course I have a car.
I was making reference to the passenger seat thing. Oh, oh gosh, oh.
See, I just feel bad. Could you imagine you, there's someone you're not that even interested in and then you get sort of like roped into going to this dinner and then all their friends are telling you how that person has been emotional and thinking about giving you a gift for like a week and you're just like you have to just receive all this information like i don't like this person what do you want me to say what do people want me to say i don't even want to be here i don't know you people i have friends on this island you are the ones who are the interlopers here yeah see and notice what he does here too when he says i don't even have a car just kidding you know because passengers see i do have a car but it's just a buick probably not something exciting for someone like you $10 million house, which is why you're dumping me in front of all my friends, right? Yeah, I'm just a humble boy standing in front of a girl asking her to enjoy a megalodon tooth.
So, Whitney's like, oh, my God. So, Whitney's like, oh, my God.
By the way, Whitney has been told that he got dumped. Because when he came, he's like, so how'd it go, Shep? And Shep's like, she dumped me.
So Whitney already knows this, right? So Whitney goes, I have a question. Do you see yourself in three years being married and settling down? You know, like living jointly between Charleston, Nassau, or even getting your own place somewhere.
And Shep's like, Whitney! And she's like, to get to that place, we'd need to A, define the relationship, which, you know, we never did. And, you know, kind of go through those steps.
And Shep is like, that's such a new age thing! And Whitney's like, well, I'm'm such a busy buddy, but like, how would you define your relationship right now? Hold on. I got my mother on the phone to listen in.
Mother, listen. She's like blow drying her hair.
She's like, as it is now, I mean, I would say we're not really in a relationship right now, you know? And everyone gets a look like, oh geez. god what am i supposed to do cry my ceviche yes actually i would like to see that so i was like no don't cry because if you because i'll cry if you cry damn just kidding i won't cry at all he's like oh god i'll cry shep you haven't smiled at all in the last two days oh god go 48 hours without smiling that what what a sin show us those woodley woods uh and shep's like that's not true and he's like yeah you've been so stressed out i would call it megalancholy.
Megalancholy. Well, sometimes when I get sad, I think, at least you're not extinct, like a megalodon.
Yeah, you stressed him so much that he blacked out and he slept on the beach. And she's like, ew, she just gives us like, gross.
And he's like, by the way, that's such a cock block move also, God. Okay, go on.
So he's like, old habits die hard, friend. And Austin's mouthing, what the fuck is wrong with you, Greg? And he's like, a lot, a lot.
He's like, well, yeah, you know what? Shep's allowed to get drunk, you know, cause he's sad, you know, he's allowed to fall asleep on the fucking beast if you want. So I mean, he's a grown man.
If you ask Craig, he's like a 45 year old drunk. Well, according to you last reunion, he was also a 45 year old drunk, which is why you didn't talk to him between last season and this season.
I'm not the only person remembering this show. These people are on this show.
Yeah, I mean, by the way, all of this is correct. It could be all of the above.
He can be a 45-year-old drunk, and he can also be an adult who decides, like, this is what he's going to do. So there's all that.
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You can listen to Even the Royals early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus. So Craig's like, you were the worst version of yourself the last two days.
I mean, it's like, Show me me that smile again don't waste another minute on your crying that's not very nice to say especially to the tune of family tunes family ties you know we've had a lot of fun you know we've had a lot of nice moments together you're making it sound like it's all meredith baxter bern and no Alex Keaton. I was singing Growing Pains and the fact that you didn't know that shows that you're not a true friend.
Gosh, I can't keep the true. If it's past the final, I don't know.
Was Joanna Crohn's in Macbeth? Because if she wasn't, I don't know. so he's like, well, you want to date? Did you tell her you want to date her and be exclusive? And he's like, yeah, I'm going to Cuba tomorrow.
I prefer communism. And he's like, and what did you say, Sienna? And she's like, well, that might have just been a little too late.
Right, Sienna? Because we were in love until the five minutes right before this dinner when you laid all that stuff on me. And Vanita's like, Sienna, you don't want to be with him right now, or you don't want to be with him ever, or could it be that it's just something that you could be worked on? It's not a bad question to ask.
It's not a bad question. Good question, Vanita.
Because of course, Vanita's there for the, so you're saying he's still got a chance, right? Yeah. Right? So he's still got a chance.
Like, no, and there's not a chance for you either, Vanita. Calm your desperate ass down too.
But the fact that they're all having this conversation about Sienna right in front of Sienna is so wild. And actually, I kind of feel like insulting.
And so Austin's like, well, why did, why, why did you tell Shep that you love them when you just like, well, then you just like backed off twice. It's like, by the way, people are allowed to say, like, I love you.
And then like, like then discover, oh, this is not the person that I thought they were. I don't think I love them.
People are allowed to change their minds and lies. We also have a commitment.
We also don't know that she said, I love you. I have not heard any confirmation that she said that.
And I have heard confirmation that Shep is twisting everything that comes out of this girl's mouth, if not outright lying. So I don't know that I even believe that in the first place.
So Shep's like, guys, please don't grill her too bad. But he's got a big smile on his face, right? Because this is like his revenge.
He's like, all right, you don't want me? Then you're subject to my friends. Have fun.
Yeah. And so Sally's like, well, this is fun.
And Sienna's like, hmm, nothing. I just said this is fun.
And Whitney's just like laughing. And then Rodrigo's like, this is sad.
I mean, he just got played for a fool in front of everyone. And I'm like, Sienna, it's time to leave.
Like, I just think it's so rude that they're like, ugh, why is Sienna still here? I mean, it's like, she came as a guest to Shep because he basically begged her to, and now you're going to be mad at her. Like, just treat her with some dignity.
She's not on your show, really. They are so mean to her.
And Shep finally is like, he rescues her basically. And she doesn't need rescuing.
She could leave herself, but like, she's being polite. I think she's, she is giving them way more grace than they deserve.
So he's, he basically takes her for a walk away from the table and he's like sorry gosh everyone's been drunk drinking all day she's like yeah that's okay um as long as you're okay he's like no i'm uncomfortable but i don't like to be talked about this way and i don't like what you're going through and she's like yeah i'm gonna go but yeah because he's basically like, this isn't great. So go.

She's like, yeah, I just wanted to address the problem.

You know, I wanted to save it after the trip, but you insisted that we sit down and talk about it.

Which, you know, again, is Shep just refusing to listen to anything that she has to say and then being shocked when he doesn't get the answers that he's demanding, you know.

So then back at the table, Austin and Craig are talking about it. And he like yeah craig is just sitting here being like well say something you know like i'm like i just don't want to like down her throat craig and he's like yeah but every second she's here she gives him false hope every second no she doesn't he has given him zero hope he gives himself false hope okay craig mr enlightened who who's been talking with Therapy Speech all season long, suddenly has forgotten the thing that we are the ones who are in control of our own emotions and no one makes us do anything.
And this is such a backwards, asinine thing that shows Craig's true colors that it makes me annoyed. So Shep walks off with Ciena and he's like, I just wanted to come here and us be madly in love.
Well, you know what? I wanted a 10-inch dick and $5 million, but guess what? The world had other plans. Yeah.
And he's like, well, I guess we just missed it by a little window. And he puts out his fingers.
It was a little window. I just missed my window.
I'm pretty sure it was a pretty big window that he missed it by. This was not a near miss.
This was a fail. It was a big deal.
So he's like, she's running for cover. That's how I see it.
She knows the truth. She loves me.
She just doesn't want to say it. He's like, I just don't want you to be on the firing line for an hour and a half.
And she's like, yeah, I guess I should leave then, right? And he's like, yeah, I guess that's best. But it's not an indication of what I want to have happen, right? You understand that, right? She's like, no, I got it.
Are you taking the Megalodon necklace with you, Gorge? I have to say, Andy Cohen's going to just have a field day with this. I cannot wait for Andy Cohen is will not be, he will not be able to control his glee while he, uh, grills shop about this whole situation.
It's going to be amazing. So Austin's like, uh, Austin goes up to shop and he's like, she's's gonna leave.
Okay. Yeah, she's gonna go.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you're dealing with a, it's very raw.

We were almost in love by a small window.

So, oh gosh.

So now everybody's like, that's the worst dinner ever.

And so they move over to the couches and the fire pit thingy.

And they play fireworks come up, which I have a feeling set paid for it to get This big romance. Yeah, I think so.
Oh, no reason. There's no reason for fireworks.
They're just eating a conch salad And now to celebrate the arrival of bread fireworks Boy in. Well, hey, in my life, that works, but not here.
That's true. So he's like, wow, you know, Sienna, I thought that even though we guess, I guess we didn't define it, but God, I hate that.
It's so millennial having to define things. And then she just kind of looks away like he farted again.
And he's like, wait, are you a millennial? She's or you tool but that doesn't i know and she's just like i i don't know what i am at this point she's just like i want to say as few words as possible so i can get out of this situation and he's like at my age i know you don't find this that often i'm sorry you don't you just have to honor it and give it a chance it's like please stop just let her go and she's like um so I'm gonna go uh is it rude for me to leave and not say bye to everyone I'm like please please don't say bye to them they're monsters you deserve better no I wish she had though I wish she had been able to just go over and say okay guys well it was really nice to meet you have a good night and then leave it sucks that's like, he didn't get his way, so he's just gonna usher her out the back door. You know? Like, see ya.
Yeah. So now Austin's giving everyone shots over by the sofas.
And Austin's like, well, I feel bad for this whole thing. And Chris, you feel bad for her, but she's a girl.
No, no, I just feel bad that the guy's heart's broken, dude. That's it then shep and sienna are still are still hugging goodbye this is a very long goodbye process yeah truly so they're hugging by and she's like don't hate me shab okay and he's like i love the smell of you ew what part of no don't you understand? Go away.
How do you even have smelling senses left? How could I ever hate? How could I ever hate you? Because I love you. Okay, you're sounding like an 80s song.
Come on, let her go. Let her go.
So then Craig is like, he's not a fucking idiot. Okay, he's 44 years old.
Okay. We read the text.
She could not be more clear that she doesn't fucking like him. So yeah, we know that Craig.
And then she's got to go away. God.
And by this time, we can see that Craig is just drunk. He's red faced.
And you know what happens when Craig gets that way? I'm surprised he didn't pull out a wad of cash to just start throwing at everybody going I'm too rich for this so Craig yeah seriously yeah he's in just belligerent drunk mode uh so he's just being a dick oh he's he's over it's overkill like even for him yeah it's overkill so um Austin's like we know that you know read the room so he's like oh my god and by the way this has got to be fucking awful for taylor taylor is this like a meat grinder for you to watch him fight for a girl when he didn't he never even fought for you like fuck off what's wrong with this guy what a monster and she's like honestly not at all i mean this is like the best gift that taylor could have received right watching the guy who broke her heart just humiliate himself on tv And so Craig's I'm just saying it would drive me fucking nuts you know Taylor's like well last year I was not in a good place so like that's not me but it's not my circus not my clowns not my peanuts not my elephants not my acroats oh yeah we got a Taylor she's like completely honest, I feel bad for him, but I'm sorry. You're doing it to yourself.
Oh, wow. So she's like, yeah, at this age, you should be very confident in who you are and confident in your life and you're not and it's pathetic.
And I would just like to say bullshit. No, you shouldn't.
As someone who's older than this, be careful what you say until you're that age, because you always think that you're going to have it together and have a certain amount of confidence at a certain age. Don't count on it, sister.
But I'm allowing it from Taylor because I feel like, you know what? Let her take a victory lap. I think she gets so few of them.
I'm going to let her do it. I'm going to give it to her.
But yeah, you'll never, yeah, you'll never really be truly confident in who you are. I think that's what life is about.
It's just navigating that. So Austin is like, The minute you're confident in who you are, trust me, life will come around and it will pull the rug out from under you.
And you won't be so sure anymore watch your overconfidence there lady so um austin now she goes back to the table and he's doing the one poor me i guess i'll just eat dinner alone what is that lobster lobster shells spewing everywhere while everyone watches him and talks about how pathetic he is molly's like is he he eating alone? Is he crying into his peas and rice? Sometimes like, well, seeing the heartbroken is a little sad. And by sad, I mean hilarious.
But, you know, I think he knows what, now he knows what it feels like to get his heartbroken, and sometimes that's a lesson that we all need to be taught, especially if you're a beta. So, Vanita goes in to console him and everything.
And he's like, she's like, She was just in the firing line. I just feel terrible.
And she's like, Well, we're your friend first and team Shep first before her. And he's like, Yeah, you know what this reminds me of? Oh, my gosh.
This reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet was just standing on the balcony, and Romeo started shooting her with a BB gun. And then all of Juliet's friends came out and started throwing glass bottles at his head.
God, I love that show. So then Craig, meanwhile, was like, he ruined a dinner by inviting a fake girlfriend, which I told him not to fucking do.
I don't think he ruined the dinner at all. You guys were the ones being rude.
You guys could have acted like normal people and had a fun time and laughed and joked with her but instead i was gonna say you ruined the dinner what are you talking about yeah exactly so vanita's like telling chef like look he didn't give she didn't give you what you want and she was giving you what you're used to doing to other women by the way uh just kind of like shade you to hear a little bit and it's like you know it's sad because you know you're coming off a night long term you know she's saying it's sad because he he just came out of that relationship with taylor where he knows he messed up and now he's like trying to like fix like dude you know he finally opened his heart again and this is what happened i'm like did he ever open his heart in the first place to either of these women i'm not sure about that no he's faking it so he's like i'm just here to be real i'm here to be raw i'm here to let people know how i feel and guess what you're gonna hear it by the way who are you um vanita i've been on your show for a few years this is craig stand in thanks so much craig for everything you. Well, as Bob Marley Shakespeare once said, true friends are like stars.
They're only evident when it's dark. And it's dark.
And y'all are here. Thank you for being a star, whoever you are.
Now, can I get a coffee, please? then he like stumbles over to the bar and the bartender's like hey how's your night

fucking terrible thanks for asking yeah so you know that girl, Sienna? She's Miss Bahamas, right? Yeah. Score, right? Am I right? Well, yeah.
I've been seeing her for a few months. Why wouldn't I be? I'm handsome.
I'm young. Well, you know, when something's cool and you're like, what happened? Why? Well, that's what kind of happened right now.
I mean, I opened the fan. I grabbed her by the wrist.
I had her. And then somehow she got the nerve to roll her blade off.
Damn it. I mean, you know, all I did is I walked up to her and I said, could you be loved? And I said, we could have one love.
Next thing you know, she's making an exodus. I'm just trying to have my redemption song.
It's just really hard, but I don't want to wait in vain. Oh, so just three little birds having a cocktail.
Am I right guys? The bartender is like, show me that smile again. Bob Marley wrote that song.
Please Rose Ellen. Thank you.
It it was Bob Marley so back to the cast on the couches Craig's like I told you guys all of this stuff would happen I said if you invite her to dinner it's gonna fuck the whole dinner up this is Craig's favorite thing to do I told you so at some point he's gotta learn that no one fucking cares if you said you said at first, no one cares anymore. Okay.
You're not seven years old. I said it would happen.
Oh, unless you were on a podcast, we were allowed to say this, but you're not allowed to say this to your friends. Yeah.
He's just such a asshole. He is so hard to take right now.
So he's like, Austin, I know you love me. He goes, yeah.
And he goes, but do you have a hard time not hating me? And Austin just cracks up and he's like yeah sometimes sure he's like because sometimes when i look at your face when i do shit i was like he hates me it's like wow you should see mine yeah it was the same craig i got the same thought about you craig i'm like this hates me all right well you know what you guys you guys have a genuine friendship and i just think that that they just need to clear the air and really want to like i think they just need to man this okay they just need to kiss and me. All right.
Well, you know what? You guys have a genuine friendship. And I just think that they just need to clear the air and really want to, like, I think

they just need to man this.

Okay?

They just need to kiss and make up.

All right?

They're sisters.

They're sisters for life.

My favorite thing Madison said about them.

They're sisters.

So Craig's like, hey, what do I do that drives you so fucking mad?

And he's like, well, you take one thing and then, like, you know, you just gotta, you know, you turn it. Exaggerate.
Yeah, you're an embellisher. And you know this, Craig, you're an embellisher, okay? And you want to put yourself in the best light possible.
I'm a lawyer, a lawyer and a storyteller. I died.
What an idiot. And they all start cracking up.
And he's like, I think that my self-improvement, like you take it personally. What are you talking about? You're still sitting here the same belligerent drunk you've always been.
Nothing has changed about you. You're still the same compulsively lying belligerent drunk.
There is nothing that's changed about you, Craig. Sorry.
You're trying to sell it just like Shep is. Not.
And I love that Austin was like, oh my God, Craig, like I will gag myself if you go down this road. Like, don't do this.
It's not your self-improvement. I'm over it.
It's insane right now. Craig's like, why? Wait, you're just going to walk away? I told you all that he would just walk away.
I fucking told you all. And he's like, I'm over it, Craig.

So Matt's like, what the heck?

Betas are fun.

Craig's like, okay, I'm going to follow you now.

Austin, finish the conversation

because I'm a storyteller.

I need to tell my stories.

So now Vanita has got a text

and she kind of shows it to Sally,

but then hides it. And she's like, oh my God, like seriously, are those all from JT? And she's like, yeah.
And she's like, yeah, I can't stray away from what I just saw on your phone. I mean, just paragraphs.
That means he really likes you. You know, I mean, that shit goes on and on.
That means a guy really likes you. I mean, he has feelings for you more than a friend.
No. And Vanita nods.
She's like, yes, yes, he does. Okay.
So here we get to the Vanita section. Now we talked about this on crappy hour.
So anybody who wants to hear this more in length, just go listen to that episode. So Vanita came out with an Instagram after the last episode telling us that the scene of Branzino dinner with what's his buns was filmed after this trip.
So she's saying the editors are trying to make her look like some home-wrecking floozy, and she's not going to stand by that because that scene was shot after. So that left me with some questions like, well, but then he just told you on this trip, I have a girlfriend, get off of me twice, and you still made that Branzino dinner for him.
So that was one kind of confusing thing for me. So now she says, so after last night, I for sure know that the feelings I have for JT, JT also has for me, like 100%.
And there's no question, there's no doubting. So I was like, wow, he likes me, like he likes me, likes me.
So JT, I'm sorry, but if JT has a girlfriend in this moment, I feel sorry for the girl on the other side because he's spending all this time talking and texting me and he's giving you crumbs. So why are you coming out with a story with an Instagram thing saying they're just editing you to make you look like a homewrecker? You know he has a girlfriend and you're still going for JT.
Now, does that let him off the hook for still texting her paragraphs and paragraphs when he knows how she feels? No. JT's a dog and a piece of crap.
But I just don't get the whole Vanita thing. Yeah.
Well, I'm with Sally who says, if I get paragraphs like that from a man, I'm like, immediately, no. I think that sums it all up.
You're just like, keep it simple. It's just too many texts.
He's ick to begin with. so that's all the thought you need to put into it so craig and austin are now um they've moved over to an area to have their bro talk and craig's like hey don't get fucking fired up even though craig stoked the flames as usual and i was like i'm not let's just fucking sit down dude he's like all right you're fired up you're crazy so he's like listen you're one of my fired up.
You're crazy. So he's like, listen,

you're one of my best friends. I was never trying to do stuff to like better myself, to get away from other people.
I just wanted to get away from other people to make myself better.

And I didn't know that it would ever change like the level of our friendship, you know,

me like not hanging out when you try to call to hang out, you know, or like me ditching you so

I can plant things. I didn't think that would actually affect our friendship.
And I want to

go back to a place of love. Greg, I mean, we're honest, okay? All you care about is like this like little story that you're like building for yourself and your reputation.
This wonderful image. He's like, an image? He goes, yeah.
Like you're disappointed in disappointing someone and being like, oh, they can't see me with the beer in my hand or something. And he's like, but do you think I project an image that isn't me? Yeah, Craig.
Yeah, because we've seen you. He's like, yes, I do.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, you know, you have an image to protect. And he's like, just loosen up the reins.
And he's like, yeah, but I do that because I don't have any leash on myself. That's any addict.
And then Craig lays the storyline on him. He's like, I was like, you know, trying not to be an alcoholic is now affecting my friendship with Austin.
So they start crying. And he's like, that's where I was coming from.
Like, I have tears in my eyes because it's real. I was like in the trenches by myself.
And like, like, you know, you were like, you were like, oh, wow, you're never with me anymore. I'm like, dude, I don't like it.
Like, I can't. I can't.
I got to sit on my couch. You know, I can't.
I got to sit on my couch or I'm going to pick up a bottle of Jaeger and do dumb shit. It's like, fuck, fuck, bro.
The word addict. You never used that with me, bro.
It's like, yeah, no, I never said it out loud until Shep. He's the one that we need to be angry at.
Yeah. He's like, yeah, looking, look at Shep.
He ends up on the beach, you know? I'm like, I don't wanna do that anymore. I'm just lucky, you know? I'm lucky I got out of it.
You're drunk. Yeah, you're drunk right now, by the way.
You're drunk right now. Oh my God.
Now, that said, I mean, in the beginning of the season when this whole argument with Austin happened, I'm Craig, because it is hard when you quit doing stuff and you have to, like, try and maintain relationships with your friend group and they're not supportive. And they're like, why aren't you drinking? Why aren't you doing coke? Why aren't you drinking? Why aren't you doing coke? You want some coke? Are you sure you don't want to drink? You know, I get that.
You know, I've lived it. It's hard.
So I'm team Craig for that. But Craig still acts like a little asshole beyond that.
And so the whole addict thing while he's currently drunk is just a little uncomfortable for me. But I think in general, I'm still team Craig as far as that argument goes.
So Austin's like, well, I should know, man, like, you know, with the Adderall thing, like, that's like, I knew you were struggling and stuff. And we see, um, Craig's greatest Adderall hits.
And then he's like, he's like, I'm sorry for not understanding what you were going through. And like you and Paige strong as hell, strong as hell.
And, uh, like you're fighting with a long distance and that's clearly a forever couple. So like, you're not like sitting your house just being like, you know, like alone battling or no, right.
It's like, yeah, she was right with me this entire time. There's a reason that me and page are so close i just can't imagine being closer to someone like i'm so lucky that she chose to be like i see someone there and she helped me beat this demon demon demon and then we see um evidence of that which is basically her trying to maintain her sanity in winter house while craig is spiraling of control.
And she's like, maybe stop talking. Thanks.
Yeah. And so he's like, yeah, maybe that's why the image that you were thinking I was trying to portray, but that is what I was trying to do.
I'm not trying to convince other people. I'm actually trying to become that.
So it was nice. This conversation was actually kind of nice, even though my cynicism half of me is still screaming shut up craig because he's acted like such a fucking asshole the past few weeks but um it wasn't i actually thought it was a nice conversation you're not alone i i actually thought um as much bullshit as these two guys spew they did actually have some moments that felt introspective and insightful and yeah it wasn't all it wasn't all bullshit it wasn't all self-serving bullshit there was like real shit in there so they basically are like they're like connecting now and so austin's saying that craig's addiction doesn't i like this we said craig's addiction doesn't excuse him from being an it doesn't excuse him from being an angry person it doesn't excuse him from being an angry fucking person.
It doesn't excuse a lot of things, but it is a starting point. It's sort of like, yeah, I think that's a good thing, which it's like, yeah, it doesn't excuse all this stuff that happened, but it does mean that I can be a bit more compassionate to him.
Yeah. So they hug and they say they love each other and all of that good stuff.
And he's like, wow, it's just so to be transparent you know like if we could have had this conversation sooner it would have saved us heartache so um they agree to find new quality time together and uh doesn't this feel like the end episode of the season there was a part where i was like wait a minute we just announced we're doing southern charm in minneapolis and i think it's over

we should find something out they'll probably because because now they've got to make a shep and molly storyline go you know yeah oh god yeah you just wait you just wait i think they'll

probably have two more episodes they'll have two more episodes left i think so um and then the

reunion for five weeks so now um everyone sees the guys hugging and they're like,

Oh,

bite us.

And now it's the next morning.

Morning.

They have,

they're leaving.

And so Craig has paid for,

which is sure to let everybody know.

I paid for flamingos.

Cause I was like,

yeah,

they offer that.

So I paid for it.

Cause I'm not poor.

To be fair.

I thought it was Spanish dancing lessons, but I guess flamingos and flamingos are two different things. He just goes down there and starts stomping in rhythm around the room.
So basically, they're down there playing with flamingos at breakfast. And Madison's like, those fucking things are scary.
I mean, those things are like Austin without dockers. I love the flamingos.
They're just like little supermodels walking through breakfast, being snooty and being like, what are you guys doing here in my suite? And they're so trained too, because, you know, they have the people that are bringing them or whatever they're, they're tamed, I guess I should say. So they're just, they're working the room, you know, they're like okay can we aren't just walking up to people like shrimp just staring at them like yeah all right well don't say i didn't do my job you have shrimp no shrimp you have shrimp they're kind of like bird escorts you know they're like hey looking for a good time it's like it's basically flaming a Nora, you know, it's like the Nora version of flamingo or the flamingo version of the Norris goes either way.
So I was more amused by those flamingos than I thought I would be. And I was like, if I ever go there, I'm going to pay for the flamingos at breakfast.
They might as well just be new cast members for the amount we get from some of the new cast members they're working it harder you know so then um shep has food all over his face of course at breakfast and he's like i'm going to cuba fuck this place they don't require napkins at breakfast stop trying to wipe my face yeah um and uh then shep is like yeah i'm ready to get the hell out of this country. And Ryan's like, Shep, how are you feeling after last night, man? Can you believe we almost got eaten by a shark? Well, I feel free.
You know what I mean? Feel very free. He's like, that's good.
I'm glad you feel free. I'm going to have nightmares for three years.
Yeah, there are more cons looking back than I remembered in the moment. Now that I think about it, she never really did say I love you.
We we only did go on one date I only learned what her name was two weeks ago huh funny what what hindsight can give you what an insane circumstance that I went through but it's sure good to have my good old friends I had a lot of laughter a lot of emotions but laughter and laughter cheers, cheers and cheers, Shakespeare reference after

Shakespeare reference, which I totally get because I've read them all.

Wait, I'm Rodrigo. I'm going to close up the episode.
I wouldn't travel internationally to

watch anyone else get broken up with. Ha ha ha ha ha.
And we have the circle that comes in on his

face and then closes up. And that brings us to the end of Southern Charm, everybody.
Next recap will be live next week in Minneapolis. So come see us over there.
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