#2751 RHOBH S1414 Part Two: Runway or Another I’m Gonna Get You Get You Get You Get You

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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap.
If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there.
And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So now Erica's in her kitchen, and she has champagne and she's like, Ma, you want to go drink some bottle of champagne out in the cabana? Turns out there's one other spot we forgot to do on our HGTV tour.
She's like, yes, okay. So now we see the cabana went from looking one way to looking another way.
Yeah, and she's like, aren't you proud of me, mama? She's like, oh, this rug is just gorgeous, you know. But Martin Payton, did you see Martin Payton? She goes, I do see, Erica, I do.
It's real pretty. And she's like, wow, Mama, so I'm just happy for you to see the house, you know, because, oh gosh, how some people would look at redecoration, some people would be, eh, but to me, it's a symbol.
A symbol of Star Nova.

It really is for people who have nothing else going on in their

lives. And it's interesting how all this

has come to fruition, you know?

Emphasis on the fruit part of fruition.

I mean, not Martin Lawrence Ballard, am I right?

So, you know the whole thing

with Tom. I'm really getting proud of you because

I know what you've been through.

And there were days when I was scared to death you'd move back in with me. And I'm proud of you because I know what you've been through and there were days when I was

scared to death you'd move back in with me

and I'm so glad you stayed out here.

The way you clanged

the way you clanged to those

diamond earrings, Erica, I've never been prouder.

And Erica's like, I try not

to think about how dark things were.

My mother had every right to be afraid for me.

And then we see the long

montage that is now reframed as Erica has been the biggest victim in the world. And we come back and say, it's just easy.
It's easy to get driven down into a dark hole. I was ordering Taco Bell from DoorDash.
And now look at me. Ding dong.
Mom, could you get that? It's the Taco Bell from DoorDash. But I'm doing a happy amount.
I'm basically an Oscar winner now now that my music was played in the background of a strip scene and at some point you just got to listen real carefully for it. I want an Oscar, Mom! So we see more flashbacks of her going through it and she goes, I'm proud of myself for not succumbing because that was a real option.
You know, I think of Tom less and less. I used to think of him every day.
And then it used to be a day or two when I don't think about him. And it's been nice.
But every now and then that Roomba comes into the living room to clean things. And I'm like, hey, Tom.
And I'm like, oh, God, it's not Tom. Anyway, I know he's been coming up for trial in a couple of weeks.
But that's going to suck. I'm not look, I don't know I only want to know what I have to know So then we see a headline Prosecutors say Tom Girardi spent $25 million of clients' money on Erica Jane's entertainment career as Tom's criminal date is revealed, trial date is revealed Oh, it's just not healthy to be reminded of the past.
Now I'm only looking for new poor people to rip off. So she's like, yeah, I'm done with past trauma.
I'm done with it. Every time someone reminds me of Tom's trial, it's like cutting open a healing bone, and I say, something festering? It smells like Tom in here.
And then I think of Tom all over again, bubble.

The point is I'm trying not to think about Tom.

Okay, Erica, so any further thoughts about Tom?

Oh, you just did it again to me.

So it is like, well, Erica... I've got so many horizontal stripes in my house now

because that's what Tom's going to be wearing

for the rest of his short life.

Well, Erica, you have a lot to be proud of.

I mean, I saw you got a coffee mug

that says I'm with Stupid.

That's funny.

That's cool.

You're doing exciting things for yourself, Erica.

Look at you.

I'm just drinking it straight from the picture anymore.

Good for you.

You got a cabana.

That's nice.

So, you know, sticking it out,

going through what you went through

and all you've achieved. I can only speak in such general praise worthy ways so many times before I have to kind of go back to Georgia so anything else you need me to say for you to help you get through your scene I feel like I'm in a chapter a chapter that wasn't written missing a chapter that wasn't written yet it's been missing from the book but here.
Chapter one. Erica and her somewhat homely mother sitting in the cabana.

Enjoying the fruits of Erica's labor.

Mother has done nothing today.

But Erica has done everything.

Mama is proud and silent.

Oh, Erica.

Mama is silent.

I told you. I'm in a new chapter, okay?

You know, I'm staring at the blank page before you.

I'm opening up a dirty window. I'm letting the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.
Is that from The Hills? I'm Bella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella. Oh, The Hills don't remind me about Tom.
He drove down it. Crash his car.
I've got projects. I've got dates.
I've got straps in my wall. I've got shows in London.
I can do everything. It's kind of open-ended.
I've got a new life to write now. Erica, why don't you just spill that champagne on me? Feel the rain on your skin that no one else can feel it for you.
Only you can let it in. Erica, I'm getting concerned about you now.
Honey, I'm glad you're going to be writing a new chapter. But could we try using less rhymes with pussy? That would be great.
I would like to be able to show this book to some of my friends this time. Mother, I've got big news.
I'm dating Brody Jenna. Oh, okay.
Okay. I think you've taken us too far.
I'm proud of you. You know, when you called and told me, mom, I have a Porsche.
I mean, now that's pride right there. I mean, I just knew you were ready to soar to the top of the world and you're paying a lot of money in leases.
I hope you've got a long contract for this show. You know what I have to say, honey, when you bought that Porsche, I thought my daughter's never going to be able to pilfer away her money again.
But guess what? You did. I'm so proud of you.
Yeah. So then we go to Portavia.
Or no, Portavia. We went there, right? We did.
We did go there. We're very fancy.
Yeah, we went there and it was very okay food so um dorit is like she orders her her cocktail you know uh the belvedere with club soda with three lemons squeezed in really well thank you luis he's like my name's not luis and uh also what do i do with the carcasses? You have to figure that out yourself, because I'm not going to see it on camera anymore. I'm a new woman.
Normally I would say, carcass out! But not today. Today's a new treat.
You know you can't pay with those carcasses. Oh, well, in that case, leave them out.
So Garcelle comes, and she's like please don't hug me. I'm not ready for it.
Oh, I know you're not feeling right. I feel fine.
Just please don't hug me. Please stay over there.
Don't want your poor all over me. So listen, Garcelle.
Garcelle, it feels like it's been at least two months since I've been able to say I'm good. I'm good.
Do you know what? Today I say it. I'm good.
I'm an enberg and I'm a star of short circuit. Good.
I also invented a printing press. So, gee, hell hath frozen over.
I would have never imagined that Garcelle and I would have been sitting together, just the two of us. And then we see flashbacks of them.
I mean, technically, you guys have sat together, the two of us, but it's usually her saying, please stop saying problematic things. Yeah, I'm joking.
But here we are, just me and Garcelle, and hopefully she's brought her American Express because I'm not paying for this. Well, when Dorit came to me at Bose's Wellness and she apologized, she took accountability.
And, you know, to me, that was a good start for us to try once again. You know, nothing more fun for me than trying to be friends with someone until they disappoint you about three hours later.

Here we go again.

It's so nice that Dorita stopped being problematic.

Garcelle, would you please hang my coat?

All right, I'm going to ignore that and talk about Black Girl Missing 73.

All right.

You're yelling at me right now.

To us being mamas. Me and you.
We we're mamas and not only are we mamas we're busy busy mamas yes yes yes how's life there's so much going on that we don't know what to even say okay I'll take it from here there's so much going on So much to talk about like Bonnie Raitt says let's give them something to something about Talk about yes that Anyhow, I think that's a different song. No, it's not.
I think it is. It's not.
I think it's Let's give them something to be busy mamas and papas about. Yes.
No I mean, so so much. I mean, listen, pick he and I, right now, we're just status quo.
And I'm good. I'm happy.
I'm happy that he's happy. And you know what? If he's happy, I'm happy.
And happy is days. So if that tells you something, Garcelle's like, well, it tells me a lot.
You're still a fucking idiot, and I don't know why I'm at lunch with you. Let me just say, it's like Monday, Tuesday, happy days.
Wednesday, Thursday, happy days. Friday, Saturday, happy days.
Sunday, happy days. Do you see what I'm trying to say, Garcelle? No.
Well, I can relate to Dorit and what she's going through, because nobody to get divorced when you have kids. My boys are 16 and I'm dealing with that.
I just look at her children and I thank God neither one of you has a comp card. And it's sad.
It's sad. you know every day it's something else i don't know if you saw the pictures yesterday oh yes

pk in the bikini bottom. It was tragic.
No, no, no. I'm talking about...
Mauricio, I didn't even see those photos you were talking about. Oh, they were just on my phone.
Carl forwarded them to me. We're very close now.
Okay, well, you know, I mean Mauricio. I saw one of the blogs say that she took off the word wife after the picture surfaced.
And then we see headlines. Kyle removes wife from her Instagram.
Are you telling me? There are things going on in the world. There are things that are actually happening in this world.
Please stop covering who takes what off their Instagram bios. Just stop it.
I don't know if I follow. So Coyle took wife off of her Instagram.
So she just calls herself a cast member of the real houses of Beverly Hills. No, not from that part.
The other part. What other part is there where she says that she's a wife? Oh, to whom? Okay, I'm not doing this anymore.
Well, and then, you know, then we've got Kyle going to Morgan's concerts on the sidelines, and people are speculating, is this Kyle's way of getting back at Mauricio? Which is so funny, because it's so Kyle, too. Really? Well, I'm taking the name wife off, and then I'm going to stand right at Morgan's concert, you know, right on the sidelines, you know, I'm backstage! Yeah.
Well, if you don't want the rumors, you don't do this and that. Mm-hmm.
Yes, you don't do this and that. And you don't do the video, and you don't do a pick-up at the airport, you don't just say, let's move on.
Exactly. No more this and that, like I said originally.
I mean, the last thing you ever want to do is this and that. Oh, these people are so crazy and they're so gossipy.
I don't care. If somebody wants to get a separation but not get divorced and date other people, who cares? I don't think there's one way you have to do it.
I'm approved of this separation so far. Wait, are you saying that you're pro this and that? I mean, don't't do this and that well it's just funny saying that because on white lotus that's a big thing because the character greg is back on there and one of the other like criminal guys is walton goggins is like so what do you do and he's like oh you know a little this and that and walton goggins goes oh yeah that's a good business you know i do a little this and that he's like yeah a little this and that not pretty strong industry so it's like criminal speak and it's like i mean you don't just go on doing this and that because that's kind of what pk does as well so it's like a nice time with my with my favorite and that garcelle's like well it's hard to think that mauricio is not going to move on with his life when Kyle was so public.
And Morgan was picking Morgan up at the airport and hanging out with her. I mean, thank you, Garcelle, for saying the things that we're all saying.
You know, I always forget, like, I just always forget that Garcelle's actually such a good housewife because she really does call it all out. I think it's just that, like, in the past, her personal stories have been so boring that, like, sometimes in my mind after the season's over, I think, yeah, Garcelle's fine.
But then when you actually see the season happening, you're like, oh, thank God for Garcelle. She's the only one saying these things.
Well, she's basically the voice of the audience, right? Because she goes and reads what the audience is saying, and then she brings all that shit up right to the show, which most of them pretend none of that stuff happening and she's like well the the show said erica that you've stolen money from poor people and what about these earrings and what about this like she'll get everything we're talking about and bring it so i like it it's like audience mess well i think that marisa was like the writing's on the wall and unfortunately it's neon and really annoying so if she can do this i can have i can go and have my fun but i love it that they showed the clip of kyle and morgan getting that tattoo when kyle's getting a tattoo uh and she's like you need to get a k on yourself and they ask how she how they met and morgan's like oh she stalked me she stalked me and kyle's like oh yeah i did i did and kyle was, like, a tattoo of Morgan, but not of Mauricio. So, Dorit is like, so, does Sutton talk to her regularly? Because they're very close with the this and the that.
And Garcelle's like, well, I think so. I mean, what's your beef with her anyway? Well, gee, my beef with her.
Are you joking? It feels like you have rose-tinted glasses when it comes to any kind of Sutton's behavior.

It's when you think it's all acceptable.

Those are copper-tinted.

I don't care what anybody says.

Please get out of here, Renee.

This is not your scene.

Now, you don't think Sutton never does anything wrong?

She goes, no, no, no, no. She's like, well, and I'm just a cruel raging bitch and she goes well you were she wasn't cruel to me she wasn't cruel to me really and then we see a flashback of that stuff of parete and all that and garcelle's like well that was And it was really cruel.
But at least she's not making you wear a khaki jumpsuit with Namum as a name tag. So you got off easy.
Also, the thing is this. When Sutton's cruel, she's very funny.
When you're cruel, it's just mean. So you got to be funny about it.
She's like, well, I think that seeing something at the moment would have been refreshing. Kind of like, you know, Belvedere with the carcass out.
So, Carcelle's like, I get it. I won't change, but I get it.
So, it's like, well, truth be told. As long as Carcelle is doing Sutton's bidding.
Never speaking up. When Sutton goes below the belt.
Oh, please, you fucking victim.

You are just as bad.

You've been walking around calling that lady an alcoholic for years.

Come on now.

No one's crying for you, Dorit.

And we had to watch the Fox Force 5 at their peak, okay?

You queens of defending each other.

I don't want to hear it.

Yes.

So, Gersel's like, well, where do we go from here?

Well, unfortunately, Beverly Boulevard is one way,

so we'll have to go down to Wilshire first,

and then after that, you'll just come up canon.

No, no, no.

I mean, where do we as friends go from here?

Well, I'll be going to Encino.

Okay, you're a very literal person, I get it.

So, if Sutton gave you a Kelly, would that change things?

And she goes, absolutely, give me a purse,

and it will be over and done with in a second.

She'd be my best friend.

I'd be calling her.

Is she going to give me a Kelly?

What if it's a Kelly Ben Simone?

I don't know what that is, but I'll take it.

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So now we go to the Godfrey Hotel, which I'm surprised this is where they're having their... I know this is the second time this season they've gone here, actually.
So this is where Sutton's fashion show is going to be, and they're setting it up. And there's going to be a DJ and everything.
They're doing it on the rooftop. And Jennifer Tilly shows up.
Hello. Hi, Sutton.
How are you? Hello. Hello.
Can we get a bellhop around here? We've got an Oscar nominee. can we get up to there so um they go up to the there's kent the uh the bellhop comes over and jennifer tilly's like oh kent the bellhop the most glamorous bellhop i've ever seen because he's got this big long hair and he's like yes that's me kent i can't condition condition kent okay you need to condition condition so they're they're oohing and aahing over him and uh obvi's like getting all the clothes out and sudden like don't go so fast he's like everyone's trying to micromanage me right now it's a fashion show oh my god this is the fashion show for sutton's line can we all calm down you've got a few like pleather place mats that you're using as skirts and like some old like golf boy uh golf ball boy clothes come on calm down listen press is gonna be there wwd is coming which i know you think is women's wear daily it It actually stands for World Wrestling Daily.
They're coming. Vogue is coming as in En Vogue, their former manager.
He's coming. Celebrities, non-celebrities, mainly non-celebrities, buyers, people from Arkansas who are staying at the Godfrey have a complimentary ticket to the rooftop.
They'll be there. I just want it to look good so that the business looks good.
Yeah. So they're, you know, getting set up and she's like, I think we need practice with the models.
Like, oh God. So Avi and Sutton just sit there and the models have to walk around this pool.
That's kind of their runway or whatever. And so Avi is just way too in it.
He's like, oh my God lights clapping music and go we are ready i want more thin people dangerously close to a body of wonger jeans this the pool had me scared it was also very reminiscent of don't tell mom the babysitter's dead so um uh avi is like yelling and Kent, the bellhop slash model manager is getting everyone ready and they're, they're coaching all the models going around. So then Jennifer Tilly comes out and she's like, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
And, uh, we see Jade walking and then Jennifer, I love Jennifer. They're giving Jennifer tips on how to walk the, walk it, you you know, everything and she goes, okay, so Sutton calls me up and asks if we'll walk in a show and I was like, sure it'll be so much fun, you know but like, I don't think Sutton realizes that I'm a celebrity and I've actually walked in fashion shows and they slot you in the last minute and they do all the rehearsals and lighting without you and then you show up 15 minutes before the curtain and you go okay where do i stand so she's doing her walk she's like oh what a great show best show i've ever seen hashtag sustainable hashtag she is crying but i also love like j, Jennifer Chili is so bubbly and lovely, and she's also so rich, but I love when she's like, I'm a celebrity, I don't normally show up this early for a fashion show, but I'll do it for you, Sutton.
But I love that she asserted her celebrity-dom. That was just so great.
And they go, so what is sustainable fashion? She goes, sustainable fashion. I don't really know what that is, to be honest.
I don't know. I don't really know.
But we're doing it today. As a celebrity, I'm not usually tasked with understanding what's going on.
So whatever. So it sounds like, well, a few of you forgot to stop here at this part and then keep on.
But okay, you're going to do great. You're going to do great.
You're going to do great. So then we get the party.
Everyone's getting glammed up to go to the party. And Garcelle's so nervous because Jade's walking for the first time.
Oh, to be the parent of a model. It's like, my child, at 16 years old, walking for the first time.
You just, it's like you get so much more in looks, but you just expect so much less, you know, as the parent of a model. I hope that he walks.
So then someone named moi says, are you going to cry? No, no, don't make me. Don't make me cry.
No. Then meanwhile, Eric and Renee are getting ready, and Eric is like, well, my mother taught me to walk in pumps.
I mean, really big stacks and stuff like that. And today we put her in pumps, and she wobbly wobbles.
Fucking mother, putting me through all this stuff that she can't even do herself. So then we go to Bo's, and she's like, well, I don't want to look better than the bride at the wedding, but it's going to happen.
Do me up, boys. Lemongrass vanilla.
And then Sutton and Porter are getting their glam done, and Sutton's like, I'm a little nervous that I left. I mean, we should have done this at the hotel.
I mean, let me FaceTime BB before. So, by the way, I am a little surprised she's not getting glam downstairs at the hotel.
Hello, Godfrey. Thrower is sweet.
She's throwing an event upstairs. I'm putting you on TV.
Yeah, and that's not close either to where she is. No, it's very far.
I'm surprised that she's doing it all the way over there. So they FaceTime Reba.
And Reba's like, oh, so terrible about those planes, right? God, it's almost like some malicious code got into the system. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
And then we find out my mother spent the whole day at the airport, 13 hours trying to get here to tell me she's proud of me. And she never got back.
But the fact that she stayed in the airport for, you know, she didn't even stay in labor for 13 hours. You know, I didn't come out.
She finally just had him just give her some drugs until she fell asleep and then had him take a basketball and push down on her stomach until I popped out. You know, my head, I had to wear a helmet.
I had to wear a helmet for a while. She's not a patient woman, but she stayed in that airport for 13 hours.
13 hours. And I FaceTimed her and I said, Mother, that airport sure looks like your kitchen.
She said, No, I'm actually in the Obam Pan and it's a very common style in the South. And I said, I didn't realize that because I'm pretty sure you're in the kitchen.
And she said, No, I am definitely at the airport and I've been here for 13 hours. I said, fine, I will take your word for it.
But I also would like to see that receipt from old mom. And she said, guess what? I forgot to get the receipt.
So I just have a word, but she was there for 13 hours. I'm pretty sure.
If it makes you feel better. I was sitting at the airport bar and there were a group of people look like they were wearing dishrags, so I clapped and I said, good job, honey.

So, Reba's

like, well, she's like, I was

excited to come. And she goes, well, I think

you would have enjoyed it. Well, I'm not sure I would have enjoyed

it. Probably would have had the worst time of my life with all

those Hollywood liberals. But I would have

enjoyed your success, assuming it did

become a success, which we know it won't be, because let's be honest, it's a fashion show for a boutique it's not even a fashion label anyway i am so proud of you on paper just have them edit that in a few times okay can you please leave me alone now all right this plantation doesn't plant itself right so um the, well, I just wanted my mother here

to tell me that she's proud of me, basically.

I mean, I did this whole thing just so people would say, I'm proud of you.

And she did it. So I guess

I can stay home now.

Just kidding. Someone needs to wear that name of

track suit. So then we go

to Reba

and she's like, what are you wearing tonight? And she goes,

I'm wearing a very risque outfit, mother.

It's pretty backless. And she's like, as long as it's not frontless good lord i like that so now let's go back over to the godfrey so everyone's getting into makeup something shows up and trixie's singing she's like dripping diamonds and gold living like a queen every day is a party every night is a dream every moment is a movie just like a queen.
Every day is a party, every night is a dream. Every

moment is a movie, just like a

scene. My life is glamorous.

That's right, glamorous.

Doesn't rhyme with scene or dream

or queen, but glamorous.

Glamorous.

So it's arrivals, and people

are like, hey Kyle, anything to say about

taking the word wife off your Instagram?

She's like, I'm not talking to press.

Please, continue taking my back.

I won't.

I won't do it.

I won't talk to the press.

I won't do it.

No, no, no.

Not at this difficult time for my family.

I won't talk to the press.

I just don't want to be asked a million questions.

I mean, it was bad enough after I did the press junket for Halloween, you know, back and badder than ever. But like now, now doing even these questions, it's just too much for a working actress.
Yeah, so yeah, you're very famous. So then everybody's arriving, and Jennifer Tilly is, you know, telling everybody they look amazing.
She's like, Fasson did a great job putting this party together. There's a huge crowd.
There's so much fashion press, like major press. There's really quite a buzz in there.
It's just so exciting. I'm just happy I'm walking in the show because I really like people giving me attention.
She's so great. then kathy arrives and and um they're gonna get drinks and everything and dorit gets her belvedere club soda three lemons again does not request the carcass be out so this is really a new a new page for dorit yeah she's like well i'm curious if i will get an apology with this invite to the fashion show or if I'm just here to fill a seat.
And if I do fill a seat, will I get paid? So then... Oh, was it Sheena or the bus stop? Which would you prefer? Sheena's there.
Hi. Hi, Kyle.
How are you? And she's talking to people and everything. And then Kyle then leaves Sheena to go talk to Erica's mom.
poor sheena it's like hi i'm sorry i gotta talk to a different person who's not even a cast member of the show sorry okay and kyle's pairing carrying a big mug of beer that they're all making fun of her about and then uh sutton comes to garcelle and bows and they're uh his son's like what's been going on my head has been like in the sand or my laptop and bose is like do you need a breathing exercise? She goes, uh they're, uh, his son's like, what's been going on? My head has been like in the sand or my laptop. And Bo's is like, do you need a breathing exercise? She goes, uh, well, uh, after this is over, you can congratulate me, but now just pray for me.
Just pray. She's like, all right, girl, I'm fine.
I'll just pray. Well, I think that for Sutton, there's a void and validation from her family, from her mother, validation from Christian who thought she was just going to wither away without him this is all to say look what i can do i'm going to prove you wrong i can have a fashion show on top of a hotel and i think she'll always have that need so what i'm trying to say is this is a very expensive way to not deal with her issues it's a very expensive way to get people to say i'm'm proud of you.
So, whatever. You've got the money, go for it.
So, then Dorit and Kyle are catching up, and they're talking about Mauricio. She's like, I'm better today, you know? I know TMZ reported that I went to a concert to make Mauricio jealous, but really? That's how they think I made him jealous? Really? Standing and watching a concert?

I mean, come on.

And then we see the tabloid photos of Kyle doing just that.

And showing love, Kyle Richards spotted

supporting Morgan Wade at her show.

And she's like, well, if I'm going to make him jealous,

it's going to be a lot more than in those photos.

Trust me, I'm getting somebody's name tattooed on me.

Your arm is starting to look like a sign-in sheet right well it was like a very weird thing to see those photos and it was like very strange but then mo did text an apology oh but you know you can have a little bit more discretion he's like yeah but like have more discretion like be like smarter than that like i do feel like that the person he was with like it was like a little weird that the paparazzi happened to be there and it looked like a little strange like the leg like this like what a fucking bitch like it's all her fault you know i'm saying like i don't think that he knew but i'm like not so sure about the other person oh god so um yeah so she's saying listen i mean i don't know what the situation is with those photos but i mean it seems like suspect okay like i mean he's not exactly brad pratt no i mean okay stop feeling your sister's line yeah so um uh kyle's like will any of them learn their lesson so then kathy's like guys hello everyone i think i may have broken my knee they're like what just now what happened yeah there were these little steps and i had on a sandal and i went flying and i hit my hand it's like you know your hand's not your knee but that's okay i hit my hand and somehow now i can't bend my knee oh it really hurt getting into the car. You know cars are very small now.
I've bruised my head. That was the mailbox, Kathy.
Oh, yeah. So where are the hordivorties? The what? The hordivores.
It's like hors d'oeuvres. Oh, yeah, the hors d'oeuvres.
No. I'm sorry.
I love Kathy Hilton. She's hilarious.
How does she not know how to say hors d'oeuvres? I think she does. I think it's one of those things you say, you know, like.
Like a joke. Like a jokey version of it.
Yeah. I'll accept that.
That's like when you say Tarjay. Yeah.
So everyone takes their seats. It's like this guy, Nick, is like, everyone, please take your seats, please.
And Kathy is like, well like well i haven't mentioned it but dorit could do the introduction because she's so into fashion and she can do all the narrating so maybe she could you know that's a good idea let's have dorit narrate this fashion show i'm gonna go tell someone um if you're gonna say dorit should introduce everybody sutton's gonna kill you it's her fashion show kathy she's like i know you know that's why we should all help her so i'll be right back so backstage sutton's going to kill you. It's her fashion show, Kathy.
She's like, oh, no. You know, that's why we should all help her.

So I'll be right back.

So backstage, Sutton's just freaking out back there.

And she's like hiding behind a plant to like chug a drink.

She's like.

She's chugging the plant.

It's getting really bad.

She's like, I'm going to fuck this up.

I'm going to fuck this up.

And Ken's like, no, you're not.

I have been feeling petrified, scared, nervous, wildly sick to my stomach stomach must be what my mother felt like every time she talked to me on the phone so um then kathy so kathy walks she doesn't when she goes backstage she walks up the runway and through the entrance where the models come out like what is she doing because like oh my god kathy i haven't been this embarrassed since Mauricio took a picture with some slut in an airport

so she's like

it's me Kathy Hilton

okay now listen

did you need to read because to read

would be happy to introduce

the people and she can do all the narrating

we are not narrating

it's a real fashion show

Kathy she says oh I know

that's why you need narration

and by the way when when Kathy comes backstage, there's like a cloud of smoke and fog. It's like such it's so bizarre.
So Sutton's like, fashion shows don't get emceed. This is not 1955 nor is it the Brownstone in New Jersey, okay? This is is the red dress this is not red dress and quarter

i know this is the person and the person you want to do it is is dorit obviously you're deranged

so they send her out and then she's like okay we're ready let's go so the music starts and then

kathy just walks out from where she came which is down the runway

and she's limping she's like oh everyone's like oh my god the music's playing so so then she's saying hello hello and then she sees erica's mother and so she goes up to her and she's like hi how do you do nice to meet you good to see you how are you very hello there shaking she's shaking shaking shaking too good to see you so then uh the model comes down the runway and is like smiling and just literally shoves Kathy she's like bitch I was cracking up during this whole thing so finally she goes to sit down and and, uh, Kathy! Kathy, oh my god! Oh, here's Kathy Hilton pulling focus. Are we shocked? No.
So Bo- By the way, Erica, like, stop shitting on a very funny scene. So Bo's is like, this is Kathy crashing the catwalk and I have never seen it, not in all of my experience.

So Kathy takes her seat

and everything and now

we have a whole fashion

show, the models go around, Jade comes

around, Jennifer Tilly is going around

etc. and Kyle's like

this looks absolutely beautiful which I expected

no less from sudden. I feel like this is

looking very professional, no questions please

no questions, not right now, no, no

I can't have questions.

So we see these clothes

I'll see really get it. Most of them are pretty plain.
It's like, here's what you wear to work at the bank. And then here's a pleather skirt.
I don't really understand. And then she really did send a guy down in khaki shorts and a cotton polo shirt shirt with sneakers that's the guy i'm calling the golf ball boy i don't really understand a lot of this stuff it wasn't hideous but i didn't i don't know like you can bury it and it'll it'll just like turn into dirt i mean yeah i just i just i just didn't even bother i was like it's if it's a fashion show for a boutique,

I'm just not going to pay attention to the fashion because it's just like, here's what's at my store.

So Erica's like, well, I don't think Sutton is destined

to win a CFDA new designer.

I don't think she's going to win a FDA approved label.

I don't think she's going to win really anything with any letters, but I applaud her in her new line, I guess. And they say, so Dorita, are you impressed? And she's like, hold on, I've just received the facts.
She's not into it. So,

then Jade comes down.

They all applaud.

You know,

my first fashion show in New York City

was for Calvin Klein.

I'm not competing with my son,

but Calvin Klein.

I wouldn't compete with my son

because I've already won.

So,

God,

I miss Calvin.

I remember being scared out of my mind

to see Jade walk out and not realizing where he even is i appreciate that so jennifer tilly comes out in like a sweater dress thing and she's just like it's me jennifer tilly i've been to the oscars and so she does her charmed charmed charmed charmed So she does her strut down the runway And Kyle's like, oh my god, this is so important to Sutton I hope that somebody's proud of her Like really anyone, you know That's really all she needs So Sutton gives a speech and she's like Guys, if you're not quenching enough already I'd like to give a speech My 22 year-year-old daughter's here. I hope she's proud of me.
Are you proud of me? Say it louder. God damn it.
You want your allowance this month. You are taken out of that trust.
She's proud of me. She nodded.
My mama wanted to be here, but she's not here. So that's something.
I'm not going to say that she missed her flight or something. I'm just going to make it sound like she ditched my show.
Y'all will still hate her, but she's not here. But I hope she's proud of me.
And you know, I want y'all to tip your waiters. And I just want to say, waiters, I hope you're proud of me.
Okay. I hope all of you are proud of me.
And Porter, I just want to say thank you for being the greatest gift a mother could have, which is a daughter who's named after an employee. Okay, Porter, get over here.
I'm going to give you some boxes to bring downstairs.

Also a steak.

So take the stuff to mama's car.

Okay.

So now it's after the show,

the backstage and Garcelle is like hugging Jade

and she's so proud.

And she's like, I am so proud of you.

Who taught you how to walk like that?

YouTube.

Okay. Is that also where you're learning everything? Yeah.
Oh, dear. Less of a proud moment than I thought.
So they're telling, Kyle's telling Sutton, you know, she did a great job. And they're talking about how great Jade was.
And Sutton's like, wow, dad, my friends, this group of friends congratulate me. And they're actually proud, proud.
Oh, for Christ's sake, lady, Jesus. So they're like, wow, you did great.
You bought all those clothes and had people wear them. Good for you.
And Kath is like, what you showed us is that you could have a sustainable line, but also be beautiful. It's like if I saw a recycling trash can in a feather boa i would say you know what they're making an effort and that's how i felt today so good for you well you know what they have all inspired me in so many ways they will never know i'm truly grateful to call them all my friends even poor reet who inspired me to never, ever talk to her again.

And Garcelle's like, I am so

proud. Just say it.
You're proud of me. I'm so

proud of you. Oh, thank God.
It was worth

it. It was worth it.

Now, as we

draw this episode to a close, Sutton, I want you

to think about how all of us stood here

and said how proud we are of you, and you had

an entire group of people here saying how proud they are of you. And notice how that will never, ever fill in the void.
Okay, have a great night. And that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Beaverly Hills, everybody.
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