#2747 Below Deck Down Under S03E05: Leaky Blunders

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Speaker 1 Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crapins, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yeal Bravs. I'm Ronnie.
Hi, Ben, you handsome little man. How's everything going over there?

Speaker 2 Hi, everything's great over here. How's everything going with you?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Guess what? We're on tour, everybody. We are going to be going out next week.
Here's our dates for March.

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Speaker 1 Please check out watchwhatcrappens.com for links to tickets and all that good stuff. You'll also find links to our Patreon, which is where you'll find these videos that we're making right now.

Speaker 1 We're doing video recaps every day, so you can watch instead, if you feel it, over there.

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So that's always a really good time. And

Speaker 1 I think that's all I have to say to start off. How about you? Anything on your end, man?

Speaker 2 I don't have anything pressing on my mind. Just hello, everyone.
How are you?

Speaker 1 Hello.

Speaker 1 Hello. So what are your below deck thoughts?

Speaker 2 You know, fun times happening on that boat. You know, I don't know if I have too many pressing thoughts.
It's kind of fun that there's a,

Speaker 2 that everyone's like in love with Bion.

Speaker 2 And I like that he is revealing himself to be a douchebag because we were really, I think we were really out of sorts that he's like a boatswain who seemed to be like more or less capable, seemed friendly, seemed mature, didn't really have any damage.

Speaker 2 And now, now we're seeing like, no, no, he's, he's like a standard boatsun. He's, he's a

Speaker 1 douche. He's a douche.

Speaker 1 That's that, those are my thoughts as well. I was really happy to see a douche emerge because I was like, casting, I mean, just last week, I was yelling at casting, like, do your goddamn jobs.

Speaker 1 What are all these people with no traumas? You've got no douchebags. I mean, what's happening over there? But guess what? Casting said, fuck you.
And you want the footage? Release the Kraken.

Speaker 1 And here it comes. And so far, he's kind of a sly douchebag.
He's not as evil. Like, there's nothing really evil there, but he did almost kill somebody today.
So, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, and it's nice because as he becomes douchier, it's going to bring out more of Lara's bitchy side, which I need from my Chiefs Dew. I need, I need my Chiefs Dew to be like.

Speaker 2 not always sweet. So we're getting to see that, which makes me happy.
And then

Speaker 2 the other thing is johnny

Speaker 2 i'm really struggling with the fact that i really like johnny and you know he started off the season on such a terrible note that i was just like i was prepared for him to be just like the villain and every episode i like him more and more and i actually think he's like really hot and i'm just like this doesn't really make sense to me he's supposed to be a dick so i'm gonna wait for him to be a dick again but uh i'm really disconcerted by all that yeah i am too i find him very charming but you know what listen a lot of people start out on a bad note and do really well.

Speaker 1 And any Alicia Qs fan will know that, you know?

Speaker 1 I still love her. I don't care.
She starts with like,

Speaker 1 keep on falling.

Speaker 1 I'm still in. I'm in for the ride.
But yeah, I feel the same way about Johnny. I thought he was going to be such a jerk and he's just so charming.

Speaker 1 Like now I can see little Serena, Johnny children running around smashing plates in the kitchen. Yeah, I kind of want Zerena.

Speaker 2 I feel like, you know, he is very affectionate with Zerena. And I'm kind of like, Zerena, stop chasing after a Vion.

Speaker 2 Go after your handsome Greek god who's giving you complimentary shoulder rubs in the galley. That is your man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I can't tell if he likes her like that. You know, Johnny's very hard to read.

Speaker 2 Yeah, people are nice to chefs, too. You know,

Speaker 2 they're going to get fed.

Speaker 1 I feel that also he probably finds it hard to read. It's just a vibe you get.
So let's start. We are below deck down under season three, episode five.

Speaker 1 This one is called Submergency, Don't don't dawn. Which I was hoping for a submarine personally.
I mean, some

Speaker 1 good old clear and present danger moments. We could use that in today's world where nothing's dangerous at all.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So Marina and Vion are on their date still.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 Zarina's really upset because she found out they're on a date and that and she was liking him.

Speaker 2 And she's like, it's annoying because I thought Vion and I were vibing and I feel like I misread the situation again. And, you know, we see flashbacks of her flirting with Culver all of last season.

Speaker 2 And she goes, this sort of thing keeps on happening to me. And I don't know why.
I'm like, stop feeding the men.

Speaker 2 Then you'll see their true colors.

Speaker 1 Well, I like that she, you know, she's like, I'm going to fight against this heartbreak by teasing my hair. So she gets her hair really high somehow.
And then that's like her revenge.

Speaker 1 She's like, I'm going to get in a black 90 and make my hair really big and everybody's going to know what the fuck they're dealing with today. I I was like, all right, I'm into it.

Speaker 1 I'm from Texas, so I'm into a good passive-aggressive hair tease.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 anyway, Vianna and Marina come back to the boat and

Speaker 2 What's Her Face is saying that I like him and Laura's like, oh, Brie's talking. I'm sorry, Bri is talking about

Speaker 2 there were dual dates that happened last episode. So it's like a lot to keep track of, but Brie went on a date with WhatsApp's face?

Speaker 2 Skinny Chris Knoth. Why can't I remember anyone's name? Harry.
Harry.

Speaker 2 This is what today is going to be like today. It's, you know, you know, there's some days you just can't remember anyone's names.
That's today.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to be like, um, Eduardo came back with Felicia. Are these people on the boat?

Speaker 1 Well, it's also below deck. So different casts start clashing in my mind, you know.
But yeah, Brie's like, I like fancy him. We had ice cream.
My family likes ice cream.

Speaker 1 And so Laura's like, did you kiss him again? She's like, of course. I really like him.
I think he's just such a gentleman. So she's very excited.
But guess what?

Speaker 1 Marina asked Vion out to date at the pool bar.

Speaker 1 So then we cut to them coming in. And Serena's just sitting there.
She's just heard this news with everybody else and she's not happy. So it's pre-teas.

Speaker 1 And Marina is like, oh, are you guys having a pajama party? And they're asking her about her date. And she's like, oh, it was so nice.
He's such a nice guy like so interesting

Speaker 1 um which

Speaker 1 i don't know that i'd give that to vion i mean hot no hot oily

Speaker 1 but yeah

Speaker 2 interesting what's he done that's interesting stretch yeah i i actually think that's one of his weak weak parts like well that's that's a that's a trouble area for him is being interesting um so lara's like so like babing like me with my dogs and she's like yeah super i like him a lot and zarvina's like

Speaker 1 And she's like, what?

Speaker 2 Hey, Zarvina, are you trying a new hairstyle of old haggard bitch? It really works well on you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is Serena's crazy hair. And Serena's like, I don't even know who I am right now.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess now that I'm looking at these notes, so she had this hairstyle before she found out all this and got upset. Or did she find, oh, no, she found out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she kind of did it. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 She found it out because she went to the bathroom and was like, that fucking backstabbing bitch.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so then she like went to the bathroom and then did her hair crazy.

Speaker 1 So it was like a mask when Sandy. I'm sorry to bring it to a grease reference, you guys.
I know that's really old school, but it's like, wow, I'm going to become like bitchy Sandy now.

Speaker 1 And she's like, I've got leather pants and big hair.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And that's what she was doing.
I think she was trying to go for like a carefree, like, what have I, I don't care kind of look. And then it just looked crazy.
And Marina's like, that looks crazy.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 Marina goes, I like it.

Speaker 1 It fits you. I was like, damn, this girl's coming in with her knives out.

Speaker 2 Marina was like all sweet and nice for the first few episodes of the season, but now that she likes a guy, she is

Speaker 2 like, we're seeing another side of her now, which is fun.

Speaker 2 So they all go to sleep. And Marina's like, well, it was amazing.
I got, you know, amazing. I got kisses on the forehead.
Like, what the fuck? And Vion is,

Speaker 2 because I guess Vion walked through and

Speaker 2 gave her a kiss on the forehead. And so

Speaker 1 Vion's like, don't look at me like that.

Speaker 2 So a lot of stuff is going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Lara's just looking at him like, oh, really? And he's like, don't look at me like that. And she's like, did you have a good date?

Speaker 1 He says, honestly, she's very interesting, which is what boring people say about each other, I guess, to just justify. Just say,

Speaker 1 you're hot, I want to fuck you. And you're hot, I want to fuck you.
You don't have to come up with reasons for the rest of us. Neither one of us believe your.

Speaker 1 She's interesting or he's interesting claims. Nobody believes it.
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So now the crew went, now's the next day. and Harry's talking to Vion in the, in the, in the, in the bedroom, asking how everything was the night before.
And Vion's like, yeah, we kissed.

Speaker 2 She's very forward. It's sexy.
But you know what, bro? I was thinking about it. I'm into a day.
I'm like, oh, God.

Speaker 2 Really? Adair?

Speaker 1 He's really into similar hair coloring. I'm telling you.
There's something about him and the hair coloring

Speaker 1 attraction. Like he just really likes it.
So Vian's like, oh, she's just so beautiful. And Harry says, well, I mean, she's just very much like, go with the flow, isn't she?

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't really think she's even reading into any of this. Does she even know where she is? The other day I saw her spreading mud on the ground.
I was like, oh, she's from a mud boat.

Speaker 2 It's just so hot. You know, when you're looking for love, you've got to be open to explore.
You've got to be open to mud.

Speaker 2 And funny enough, after kissing Zarina and Marina, it's giving me some clarity into who I like and where I want to invest my time. So Adair, I'm available.
Let's see.

Speaker 1 So now somebody whose name doesn't easily rhyme with somebody else's name.

Speaker 2 If her name was Bella Rina, we'd have a problem.

Speaker 2 But it's Adair.

Speaker 2 It's like, I don't even know what that name means.

Speaker 1 So Harry's now asking Marina, because, you know, Harry's sloppy. So he goes...
goes right to Marina and he's like, how was the last night? I haven't asked you. And she's like, really nice.

Speaker 1 Very interesting. And he's like, you were there for ages.
I was asleep when he came in.

Speaker 1 And now everybody's good morning each other. And Harry is still so excited, not to just find somebody that he liked, but specifically, I've never dated a model, specifically a runway model.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. The closest I got was to a hand model.

Speaker 1 That was pretty exciting, except she just kept giving me signals. You know, I was like, speak.
And she would stop quiet.

Speaker 2 So I've never dated a model, but the closest I did get is I once dated a girl who worked at John Bajuce who once gave me a model low. So that was like really close to it.

Speaker 2 And I'll just feel like, right now, I feel like I'm basically dating a magazine cover Vogue. It's so exciting for me.

Speaker 2 He's got to chill out on this because I get it. It's exciting.
She was a model.

Speaker 2 But this is like the fourth episode in a row that he's been talking about it. And like at a certain point, it's like,

Speaker 2 it's going to be kind of a turnoff for her.

Speaker 1 I'm just gonna say, yeah, and I feel like model, like, it's it's something to be like, Oh, I'd dated a model, you know, which I think is what he's going for here, but it's different once you like settle down with a model because you know, there's a shelf life on modeling, okay?

Speaker 1 We're not all Cindy Crawford, okay. And at some point, that there's a shelf life, and at some point, you have to be like, So

Speaker 1 any skills, any skills of note,

Speaker 2 any personality, be type, you know, we talked about conversation skills.

Speaker 2 So he's basically saying he's like, last season, like I went in too fast and I really embarrassed myself.

Speaker 2 I'm like this season where I'm definitely not embarrassing myself and I definitely like Brie a lot.

Speaker 2 So this charter season, I'm going to take it slow and I'm going to play it cool and I'm going to hold my cards close to my chest. Slow and steady wins the race.

Speaker 1 He's English though, right?

Speaker 1 Harry? Yeah. I thought he was Australian.
Oh, yeah, he's Australian now because they say, are you going to take her to Australia? And he says, maybe. I don't know why I thought Chris.

Speaker 2 It still could have just been a general question. Like, are you, as an English person, going to go to Australia? And will you bring Brie?

Speaker 2 They have had nothing to do with his background.

Speaker 1 So his clothes are shrinking. He's complaining to Laura that his clothes are shrinking or he's getting taller.
And he's like, I'm not getting taller, I reckon.

Speaker 1 So now they're cleaning and prepping for the charter and stuff. And

Speaker 1 Vehon has decided that he's in love with the dare now. So he's like, he, he, he, is everything good here? And she's like, yeah, this hot teddy kiss my rusty dusty.

Speaker 2 She's so hot.

Speaker 1 She's so hot. So interesting.

Speaker 1 So just think. Oh.

Speaker 2 So Zarina's talking to Lara and asking how she slept, you know, and Zarina's like, I just don't really want to be in that energy in the crew area. So I thought about it's time to go to bed.

Speaker 2 I don't want to be around short, muscly men who want to stick their dicks into other people who night rhyme with my name. So Lara's like, yes, I was a bit shocked, shocked, and also instantly bored.

Speaker 2 And Serena's like, yes, I think shocked is a good word. I mean, did she ask him out?

Speaker 1 Yes, she did. And she's like, well, I mean, you know, I don't think it's his fault at all, is it? I mean, I feel like it's girl code, you know, it's just girl code so fucking far up the window.

Speaker 1 Okay, you don't get to just claim somebody and making out and a truth or dare is not real making out.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like you can't claim somebody after a truth or dare make out. That could have been to anybody, you know? And so Lara lets us know some serena history some serena lore she's like yeah to me serena is

Speaker 1 just trying to find a gentle word desperate completely desperate you know on the last boat that we worked at she liked a chunky person and so she just left a trail of of candy from his cabin into her cabin and the poor man didn't even know what hit him until mid-binge

Speaker 1 And can you imagine having sex with somebody slobbering peanut M ⁇ Ms all over your face? The poor man didn't see what what was coming.

Speaker 2 It was like Hansel and Gretel, you know, like, come to bed, Hansel and Gretel, which is funny because we actually had a very delicious meal that night. So we should really check that oven.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, in this version, they cook Hansel and Gretel, and then they're sent back for being too rare. So, you know, it's just Serena's lot in life.

Speaker 2 Unfortunately, when she cooked Hansel and Gretel, her sous chef said that this could have been a more elevated meal. So it was really awkward.

Speaker 1 So she's like, she's hungry. So be careful, any man that Serena likes, because you will be stocked, basically.
So now it's time for a preference sheet meeting.

Speaker 1 Here we are, Charter 3 is a boat owner herself, Asia's experience, expecting exquisite dining experiences, because get this, she's a mermaid.

Speaker 2 And Guy is a luxury travel consultant who advises the new crew who should be ready for, you know, she will be on top of all sorts of things.

Speaker 2 and these are going to be a bunch of divas and they're going to have luxury service they want luxury service and so beyond's like yeah we can give that to her like and so um uh Aisho wants to bring her guests to the beach for a morning of splashing around the ocean while wearing mermaid tails which i mean listen if i'm gonna spend thousands of dollars to fly to the seychelles in the middle what i assume is the offseason because it's so humid as fuck i'm gonna splash around in a mermaid tail because why not um Sounds like a very fun thing to do, I guess.

Speaker 1 Listen, there are red flags all over these people, okay? The first is we're divas, which sounds like you're assholes.

Speaker 1 It sounds like you're just saying we're going to be a bunch of assholes, which it doesn't seem that they are, you know, because we've seen this episode. So it doesn't seem that they are.

Speaker 1 But at this point, I'm like, uh-oh, divas. And then the other thing is mermaids.

Speaker 1 So it's like you're going to be demanding shit while also, you know, complaining about the patriarchy, you know, I know about the mermaid movement.

Speaker 1 And trust me, I'm probably going to join it at some point but as someone in service i was like oh no this is going to be trouble you know you didn't watch the oscars but speaking mermaids uh they brought out daryl hanna to to present an award isn't that nice they're like to somebody who will never ever ever ever get an oscar that's please welcome the stars flash Daryl Hanna

Speaker 2 someone who did this once in the early 80s

Speaker 1 I'm a diva and I like hooked wagu.

Speaker 2 Could you imagine if Daryl Hanna was on this charter with these women? They're like, please welcome Aisha, Guy, Furnette, and Daryl Hanna.

Speaker 1 Daryl Hannah's like, guys, it has been so nice being friends with you for 25 years. I mean, ever since you pulled me out of Tom Hanks' trunk.

Speaker 2 It's just been so wonderful. I mean, I am so sick of men with big noses hitting on me.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 that was a roxanne reference roxanne roxanne roxanne oh yeah all right everyone i'll get right back to it so

Speaker 1 i don't have a roxanne comet but i have a roxanne giggle

Speaker 2 i just i remember seeing that movie in the theaters um so lara so she's like well they're going to be celebrating 25 years of the first time that they saw splash like oh that's great and so they'd like a several tiered silver cake for Daryl Hannah to jump out of.

Speaker 2 And I'm still looking for a sous chef, so we'll see how well Daryl Hannah can heat up the fish chicks. All right, let's get through this charter.

Speaker 2 Daryl Hannah doesn't realize that she's starting out as a guest, but she's ending as a sous chef.

Speaker 1 Serena is like, I just can't. You know, every time a live lobster comes in, she just eats it, you know.

Speaker 1 So, live.

Speaker 1 Doesn't know how to use a fork,

Speaker 2 Just crunching right through it.

Speaker 2 Which is a real ghastly insight into the world of mermaids. So

Speaker 1 I feel like we never really, really, we never really unpacked that scene.

Speaker 2 Like, this is to imply that do mermaids just go around just eating lobsters through the shell?

Speaker 2 These sweet, beautiful mermaids are actually just vicious creatures.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like that they showed Daryl Hanna as like a mermaid who was like wild, you know, just a wild beast that had to be tamed by Tommy.

Speaker 2 Like an uncouth monster of a mermaid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because remember in the little mermaid, I think all she had to do was learn to walk or something.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but she had her own issues. She was brushing her hair with a fork.
So these, you know, these, these mermaids really got to get it together.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Also, to be a mermaid, you should probably swim. It's time for a commercial.
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Speaker 2 Can I say something?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you about the very first thing I saw this morning when I woke up? I feel like it's appropriate to this in some weird way.

Speaker 1 Merman. I woke up.

Speaker 2 I watched Merman Born. And it was happy.

Speaker 2 No, the New York Times. It's so funny because the New York Times, you know, I always go to the New York Times first thing in the morning.
I don't know why, because then it fills me with dread.

Speaker 2 So there's all awful headlines on to the left, but they always have some weird, curious thing on the right.

Speaker 2 And today the headline was, this is what it looks like to a crab when a cuttlefish is about to eat it.

Speaker 2 And they had this cuttlefish. It was a video.
And there was a cuttlefish and it was approaching the crab. You're like in a crab's POV.

Speaker 2 And a cuttlefish comes forward and has this like, has this like fins out and it's like an alien coming up and you're just watching and the cuttlefish gets closer and closer very slowly and then just sticks out its tongue.

Speaker 2 I was like,

Speaker 2 and I was like, that's where Daryl Hanna learned it from the cuttlefish.

Speaker 1 I think that that's so offensive to the cuttlefish. You know, who wants people taking pictures of what it looks like when you're about to eat them? This would be mine.

Speaker 1 Ronnie coming in to take a bite of a Kit Kat. It's like,

Speaker 1 you should, if you go to the New York Times.

Speaker 2 If you go to the New York Times, it's still up there, just so you know.

Speaker 1 I probably can't go look at it because I don't have a subscription to that because I'm a stupid person and I don't

Speaker 1 want to pay to feel smart. Okay.

Speaker 1 People with your fucking wordle. Oh, no, I can pull it up.
It's letting me pull it up. What a crab sees before it gets eaten by a cuttlefish.
Oh, my God. And it's like a 3D rendering?

Speaker 1 Who did they even assign to this? Matteo Santon. Matteo Santon has some time on his hands.

Speaker 2 Some time. Yeah, this cuttlefish,

Speaker 2 it's so benign looking and so gentle. And then all of a sudden, here comes its tongue.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Poor crap. And that's it.
You just see a flash of the tongue, and then that's it, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can share this because

Speaker 1 it's crazy.

Speaker 2 It's a crazy thing, right?

Speaker 1 It's a very crazy thing. Oh, no, I tried to click on it, and it says,

Speaker 1 create a can account or log in.

Speaker 2 No, I have it, but my Chrome isn't letting me share my screen, which is really sad.

Speaker 1 Oh, gosh, you're right. This news is fucking

Speaker 1 depressing. Listen, are the White Lotus Brothers going to fuck or not? That's all I need to know from you.
I know.

Speaker 1 That's literally all I want to know. Who wins the Traders and are the brothers on White Lotus going to fuck? That's the news, period.

Speaker 1 I don't want, you do that for me, I will subscribe to your ass and not until then.

Speaker 1 Okay, so everybody is getting ready for this charter and Lara is going to keep Brie on service and put Marina in housekeeping again, second time in a row.

Speaker 1 And she's like, it's because you smashed it in housekeeping last time. Note to anybody coming on this show, don't smash it in housekeeping.
Okay. Or you're going to keep getting put there.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Do a bad, bad job in housekeeping and then do a good

Speaker 1 job in service. Like, come on, guys.
This show's been on 19 years. You haven't figured it out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

Speaker 2 So she is going to be, she's going to be there on service, et cetera. And then Vion is like, I think as a dick team, we're going to be extremely busy.
So safety is our first priority.

Speaker 2 And careful for your finger. We don't want to get that wet, which is a reminder to everyone.
Harry was not safe. Sorry, Harry.
Sorry to call you out on that. He's like, well, I'll do as much as I can.

Speaker 2 It's on the mind.

Speaker 1 And I think this is one of those times it's good to stress what he just said, which is

Speaker 1 safety is our first priority.

Speaker 1 Coming from Vion. Okay, let's just remember that he said that at this point in the episode, because it all goes out the window soon.

Speaker 1 So now cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and Lara's gossiping with Brie about Serena being upset

Speaker 1 because, you know, Vion told Harry that he was like really excited that she asked him out. And now Serena's all hurt.
And so she's like, well, you want to hear it from Harry? Harry will tell us.

Speaker 1 Let's get Harry. So they make Harry come in to gossip with them, who, of course, messy ass Harry loves this.

Speaker 2 you know of course he's like so they're like what's going on and harry's like well he logs he he likes that like marina made the move but he can't make up his mind and laura's like between who serena he's like no and then they're like a dare He's like, oh, I think so.

Speaker 1 They're like, what?

Speaker 2 The girl who kicks herself in mud on an off day is disgusting.

Speaker 1 A mud racker? Seriously? And he's like, yeah, you know, he doesn't like Serena anyway. And Lara's like, oh, God, I think they need to have a conversation.
Don, don't don.

Speaker 2 So Harry then is goes up to Vion and he's like, Serena's a bit upset. So he is, he is so messy.
Vion's like, well, why? He's like, because she was into you and now you've gone off with Marina.

Speaker 2 He's like, well, I haven't. He's like, I haven't gone off with Marina.
She asked me on a date. And he's like, well, I think that Zarina thinks you've gone off with Marina.

Speaker 2 And he's like, oh, he's like, that's a lot of rhyming for me to keep up with. But she hasn't seen it.

Speaker 1 This is why I had to get out of there. All right.
Zarina, Marina. Can't.

Speaker 1 So he's like, and on the flip side, I'm onto someone else anyway.

Speaker 1 And he like gives that like. handsome oily wink smile thing.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 so then Brie's like, and Brie knows harry well enough to know already she's like harry fixing it seems like it might make it worse

Speaker 2 well you know we've got an asterisk on board here visually oh by the way it's an it's an asterisk here we can see an asterisk it's going to be on screen okay so vian is here who likes a dairy but a dairy is here who likes no one and then zarina's here who likes vion and marina's here who likes vion and basically it's not like a love triangle it's like a love a love spindle like a love hubcap and nothing's lining up and nothing's working and i'm just worried it's like a kettle that's boiling and at some point it's going to explode because guess what i was raised with very unsafe kettles that when they reach a boiling point they don't just keep boiling they actually explode your house it's very dangerous and i want everyone to take cover when this kettle i actually wish that was harry's backstory it would give him something you know i need more from harry than just like oh nice i love my parents you know i need like everywhere i go kettles explode it's like a stupid thing

Speaker 2 i know like watch out this vessel that's made for boiling may boil too much and explode

Speaker 1 what was the guy whose car kept starting on fire what was it he's what was the guy i remember a car fire did he start cars on fire was that

Speaker 2 Yeah, there was a guy whose car like caught on fire. And then there was another guy who was like, my mom was an alcoholic.
So at five years old, I had to drive us all to school.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that guy. That was Adam, I think.
Okay, so anyway,

Speaker 1 Obihan, his way of dealing with this is like kind of flirting with Serena. So he's like, so let me know if you need a hand.
And she's like, well, it's like you feel guilty, huh?

Speaker 1 I mean, is there a reason you should feel guilty? It's like you haven't asked out the stunning chef yet.

Speaker 1 Could you not rub your armpits while you talk?

Speaker 1 While you flirt with me, please.

Speaker 2 She's super tall. And he's like, well, maybe the chef should have could have asked me to go out.
She was like, well, I'll just be waiting here for my apology and my invite.

Speaker 2 So this is the way Vihan operates he does the passive thing where he doesn't have to get clocked for being a fuckboy because he's not going to be the one who's actively you know engaging with anyone he's going to wait for them to engage with him and then you could be like no you know what they asked me so i just went along with it you know yeah i'm not fully anti-vion yet because i don't really think he's done that much wrong i mean he made out with serena in a hot tub of course he knows he likes her but everybody likes him so or he knows that she likes him but everybody kind of likes him so i think at this point it's okay to kind of play the field don't you

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I think that like he's definitely, he's only in like sort of light fuckboy status, but I'm just saying, like, these are the things that I'm keeping out for.

Speaker 2 I'm like building my case ahead of time

Speaker 2 because

Speaker 2 I know we're gonna, we're gonna need it at some point. We're gonna need to litigate this.

Speaker 1 This is clearly going so badly, so quickly, that I guess I'm just enjoying the last parts of the chapter where before he becomes a full-on villain, you know?

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. Because this is both, this is both the episode where his fuckboy nature really came to the fore, but also his irresponsible bosun nature came to the fore as well.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was a double

Speaker 2 nature. Yeah, laziness surfaced.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was, it was, and being bossed around by the, you know,

Speaker 1 lady who he doesn't like. So it's all coming, kind of coming at the same time.
So

Speaker 1 Jason is now texting the Sioux chef and. They're going to be coming in three days.

Speaker 1 So he tells Serena and he's like, she's just here to support you all right and occasionally try on kimonos but i'm gonna need you to be in the room for that because i don't want it to be problematic all right it's just for my webby

Speaker 2 yes and now is this where we actually get to see the cv of the incoming sous chef or later in the episode

Speaker 2 we did we did get to because i i yes i mean right now i don't think we saw it oh not right now okay i'll i'll zip it i'll keep that spoiler for later in the episode also

Speaker 1 i don't get the cvs that they put up on the um screen because i just i'm a very lazy watcher and that feels like reading you know oh i every time they every time there's like any piece of information about someone i always pause i'm like let me let me find out about this person

Speaker 2 um well i will just say because i don't remember if it comes up later or not but the cv it looks like it's alicia from below deck um sailing yacht who was just referenced in the last season.

Speaker 1 Oh, but she's a chef chef.

Speaker 2 I know, but I think she's also becoming a soux chef.

Speaker 2 but she's nice though she's nice she'll be like i'm just here to help i'm really honestly i'm used to being a hf but like you know when captain jason calls me up i was just so honored to be helpful so i think she'll be like because she was always nice well that's fishy though do you think they're bringing her on because they're gonna fire serena because serena keeps messing up

Speaker 2 i think zerena is i don't think i don't think they're gonna fire zerena because zerena I think they're setting her up to be like a fixture.

Speaker 2 So I think she's just Zerena is going to be chaotic and Alicia will be grounding, but they'll be like, they'll have a sisterly thing and they will work well together. I think that's the plan.

Speaker 1 I think it sounds fishy, but I don't wait anything.

Speaker 2 Actually, I actually misread the CV. I think it actually said,

Speaker 1 Daryl Hannah.

Speaker 2 Wow. So that actually worked out very well.

Speaker 1 Daryl Hannah ate Alicia on the way there.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 let's see. So now, Lara, okay, so the guests arrive, okay, and we see their bio.

Speaker 1 They're from Chicago and Asia is a restaurant owner and Gail is a travel consultant and they've been friends for over 25 years.

Speaker 1 So now they get the tour and

Speaker 1 Laura's like, Vion, if the deck team is available, can they help with the luggage? And he's like, we're changing into our blues. We can help in 20.
No, sir. Get your ass down there.

Speaker 1 20 minutes to change into your blues to carry luggage. That's your damn job.
You better get over there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. So then, meanwhile, because he's so busy changing into his blues, Vion then is talking to Harry.
And he's like, how do I tell Adea I like her?

Speaker 2 I'm like, you don't because she works on directly under you. So I would just not do that.
And Harry's like, oh, I don't think the charter's the time.

Speaker 2 But since you've already told me, I'll probably go tell her at our next crew dinner. So, you know, enjoy that.

Speaker 1 He's like, but I need to plan these things. Should I wait for her to ask me to an ice cream shop?

Speaker 1 So then Serena's like, well, today's lunch, I'm going to make it light because having a charter guests on who are from the restaurant side means they're going to be super picky.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to make salad and salad and then possibly a soup and then a soup and a salad possibly. So those are my plans.

Speaker 2 But the sort of soup that requires a fork.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 she's like, I feel like the criticism is going to be really high for this charter, meaning that I don't have much room for mistakes.

Speaker 2 So meanwhile, Vion's telling Johnny to get things ready for the beach and everything. And,

Speaker 2 you know, he's checking in with Marina about, he's like asking Marina what she's eating. And she's saying that she's eating potatoes and ribs.
And he's like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 They're just checking in about the guests. It's actually.

Speaker 1 She's like, oh, interesting, interesting. So they're talking about unpacking the guests.
And he's like, I haven't even unpacked my clothes yet. And she's like, oh, I'll unpack for you.

Speaker 1 Depends on if you pay me in several kisses. I'll think about it.

Speaker 1 Several kisses.

Speaker 2 Not one, but sefu.

Speaker 1 Laying it on so thick. You know, I'm just so embarrassed for everybody on this show right now.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of kids.

Speaker 2 So, Zarina, meanwhile, is telling the guests what she's planning to make: salads and soups and soups and salads. And everyone's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 And they're like, by the way, you're dealing with a few restaurateurs here. We're foodies.
So be careful, Zarina. And she's like, yes, I sold the preference sheet.
I know you guys know your food.

Speaker 2 I know you guys know your food. I know you guys know your food.
Flash forward to Wagyou Steak Drama.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I always feel bad because people who call themselves foodies are generally not foodies.
And a restaurateur could mean anything.

Speaker 1 Like, do you own a chain of, do you own a chain of like chipotles?

Speaker 1 You know, not to say that that's not culinarily at the top of its game, but still.

Speaker 2 There are a lot of restaurateurs that definitely don't know anything about food because I've been in those restaurants and I won't go back. Yeah.
So, um,

Speaker 2 okay, so there's uh, they're, they're, they're gonna sort of set up, they're gonna anchor, set up anchor and everything and there's a buoy in the water and Johnny says it's 100 meters away and Adair's like 100 meters I don't use meters

Speaker 2 But that ain't no dang 100 meters off the stamp That's what I call about 60 mud piles away from the boat. Okay, that's if not a football field's worth a distance.
I mean, I ran track.

Speaker 2 I know God meters

Speaker 1 Okay, I get that you don't you don't do things in meters. I get that.
You know, I'm an American, but you're working on a boat internationally.

Speaker 1 You should probably,

Speaker 1 this is your job. You need to know how to do this.
Like, meters, that's stupid. Hey, how many feet are they? And I don't mean real feet.
I mean the size of my foot. I'm about a seven.

Speaker 1 How many size sevens do you think those are?

Speaker 2 Away. 100 meters? I didn't see nothing fall from outer space.
No, not meteors.

Speaker 1 Oh, never mind. Thank God, because those are scary.
So he's like, oh, I ain't no 100 diameters. And she's like, okay, is that supposed to be cute?

Speaker 2 Motherfucker.

Speaker 1 So they drop the anchor, lunch is served, and then they have to go. And they love the lunch, by the way.

Speaker 1 And then they have to go to the beach to do the mermaid thing, which is probably the best scene that's been on this season yet. Is that lady trying to be a mermaid?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It just made us realize how much artistry Daryl Hannah really possessed when she played that pivotal role.
So

Speaker 2 Laura is asking Vion to meet him, meet her in the salon for something. And so, Lara's like, by the way, after services, can we make sure there's someone to wipe down and vacuum the floor?

Speaker 2 Because basically, in the middle of this, what we didn't discuss is that the guests ate their lunch, they loved it, they got up to leave, and you know, there was a, something got spilled.

Speaker 2 And so there was a mess on the, on the teak, and the table was messy. So she had radio Vion to clean it up.
And then 45 minutes later, she went back out there, and it was still messy.

Speaker 2 So now she's like, so, Vion,

Speaker 2 can we make sure there's always someone to wipe down and vacuum the floor?

Speaker 2 I mean, K2R, whatever, whatever they need to do, like put the cushions back, roll the towels, make sure it doesn't look like a pig thigh out there. Could you please do that for me? Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 And he's like, okay.

Speaker 1 And she says, yeah, but maybe have a checklist to just clarify, though. I mean, you know, checklist, write it down.
And he's like, okay, I'll make a checklist now.

Speaker 1 She goes, yeah, because this stuff needs to get done. All right.
And if it's not done, I'm going to put a trail of candy from your bed into serena's and we'll see how you survive it

Speaker 1 yeah you know a checklist could you like maybe do a checklist or i don't know develop some sort of basic instinct of what it means to be in the service industry thank you so much that would be really helpful meanwhile serena needs help so jason's gonna help her she's like i'm really fucking behind here you know it's the worst it's ever been i'm so so sorry and he's just you know like detergent you know just give it to me So then it's mermaid time.

Speaker 1 So they're trying to get mermaid tails on these guests, which this whole scene, I was dying laughing.

Speaker 1 This lady finally gets the mermaid tail on, and then she just starts flopping around the water. There's makeup all over her face.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like, take a glamorous picture. And then she's just like all askew and looking terrible.
And then they put inspiration and it's like some Daryl Hannah level mermaid.

Speaker 1 And then it just cuts to her. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 I didn't understand what this, what this woman was trying to achieve. Was it supposed to be that she was going to have like a mermaid? Was she just going to take photos as a mermaid?

Speaker 2 Like, I didn't get what

Speaker 2 she was hoping for, but like, she was just getting tossed around by the lady.

Speaker 1 That's like a huge thing. I keep telling you, mermaiding.

Speaker 2 No, I know mermaiding is.

Speaker 2 I didn't know what this lady, I didn't feel like she was part of like the mermaid subculture.

Speaker 2 I felt like she just was like, I want to bring a mermaid tale to the Seychelles, and then we'll take a photo as mermaids. That's going to be fabulous.
But

Speaker 2 it was just like the extent. Not good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not good. Commercials.

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Speaker 1 Back on the boat, Vion's like, okay, Harry, Harry, Harry, talk me through operations when we have to come up at lunch and clean up because I need to make a list. And he's like,

Speaker 1 did Jason say it wasn't clean up here? And he's like no laura did so he's like oh okay well shouldn't this be his job to know how to do this

Speaker 2 he's like you wipe the way to clean the table is you wipe the table and the way to clean the floor behind below it you vacuum and then if there's messy towels you fold them he's like but what about putting out cushions how do you do that you put out the cushions okay great great all right i'm really learning some things here yeah so then johnny is back at doing the photo shoot now he's taking over camera duties.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 it's really funny. And then we cut back to Vianna and he's like, oh, by the way, I'm really struggling to look Adair in the eyes even.
And Harry's like, why?

Speaker 1 Why would you look her in the eye? None of us do that. It's awkward.
It's extremely awkward. Has she told you the thing about meters yet?

Speaker 2 She did say that. I thought that was charming.
I mean, have you seen how gorgeous she is? So then downstairs, Laura's talking to Zarina about what the plan is for dinner.

Speaker 2 And so Zarina is going to make a truffle risotto, do like a surf and turf, and then like a silver cake and ice cream. So the guests come back on board.

Speaker 2 And Laura, there's like this nice moment where like Laura's hanging out with the guests, like chatting with them and Brie's there too. And she's like, so I want to hear, how did you all meet?

Speaker 2 And they're all saying how they were sorority sisters, but they've also known each other since they were children. But like, actually, only a few of them have children.
That's their only bond.

Speaker 2 And Laura's asking them about like,

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, some of them said that they were only children. And then Laura asked if they've, if any of them have had children and only one person has.

Speaker 2 So they're talking about like kids and relationships. And it's like a nice moment.
And one of the guests asks Brie if she has like a boy. Well, ask Laura first if she has a boyfriend.
And then

Speaker 2 they're sort of like, what about you, Brie? And they're kind of like coy. And they kind of deduce that it's Harry who Brie is into.

Speaker 1 Well, because they say, do you have a boyfriend? Harry's like, talking the word boyfriend.

Speaker 1 He's just like all of a sudden kind of creeping around and so they ask him how old he is and he's like how old do you reckon they're like reckon

Speaker 1 and uh they guess it's 25 and he's from Australia so one of them is like so um Brie have you ever been to Australia she goes no and they're like so Harry are you gonna invite Brie to Australia and he's like maybe and then Brie's like oh maybe

Speaker 1 Maybe? Are you fucking serious right now?

Speaker 1 My first long-term boyfriend was very self-centered and not the best communicator and i just never thought harry would be the kind of person to play mind games but he is who else would say maybe

Speaker 1 i know who starts unraveling

Speaker 2 like i thought that he was just being coy and she is really she's like really upset by this um so they show her walking around cleaning after this and she just walks into the bathroom and goes maybe

Speaker 1 and she goes back to her bed and folds a seat like maybe

Speaker 2 She's really struggling. So

Speaker 2 then Jason's checking in with Vion to see how everything's going. And Vion's like, yeah, you know, I've got a few things I want to tweak, but I want to set up lists so they can actually tick it off.

Speaker 2 As I think they're missing certain things, implying that...

Speaker 2 He's actually, he's trying to make it seem like he's on top of shit when he was the one who did not take care of the messy table and floor.

Speaker 2 So now he's kind of being like, I'm going to make some lists. This was totally my idea.
I'm going to make a list because my team, they're missing things. I'm like, no, you missed that.

Speaker 2 That was your spill to clean up, sir.

Speaker 1 And he's hedging his bets too, because he's assuming that Lara is tattletailing on him, which she's not.

Speaker 1 So he's just like, just in case she comes to complain and says, I need to make lists, I'm going to tell him that making lists is totally my idea. Right.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 Lara's like, so Vion, can I get someone to help set the deck up?

Speaker 1 And he's like, okay. She goes, well, I'll be up there.
So whenever someone's free, just come up there. And so he's like, okay, no problem.

Speaker 1 Okay, Adair, maybe we'll help, but you should take a break with Harry. She's like, okay.

Speaker 2 Isn't Adair? She's like a dex dude. Shouldn't she be the one to go up and help? Like, that's her role is to go back and forth.
Yeah. So

Speaker 2 Vion tells Lara this, you know, and

Speaker 1 but like,

Speaker 2 you know, it's totally unhelpful because he's going to shower and stuff first. So then, um, well, yeah, Johnny's like, well, shouldn't I do the debt?

Speaker 1 Shouldn't I do the setup thing beforehand? And he's like, no, go take a shower. You know, go, go, go, get into your blacks and find Laura.
So, Laura will be with you in 15. No worries.

Speaker 1 And it's 7:34 and dinner's at 8. So she just rolls her eyes.

Speaker 2 She's like, Yeah, because it's totally, totally unhelpful. So tonight's theme is Silver and Pearl to celebrate the guests having 25 years of sorority sister ship

Speaker 2 among amongst them or behind them. So

Speaker 2 she says, Laura says, when you know someone that long, they become your family. And I want to make this over the top and glamour as possible.
I need to make sure everything is perfect for them.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 here's a streamer. So then Adair.

Speaker 1 This is my art. Someone get that streamer taped, please.
It's a wall of streamers. Except where we've run out, then we'll just leave giant gaps.
It's art. Just go with it.

Speaker 2 All all right you know they are celebrating a special anniversary 25 years of being sorarity sisters and this is an important moment that's why i went to the local hallmark store of of the seychelles and got this big two and this big five and it's just going to dangle over there wagu beach tonight

Speaker 1 So Adair sees her and she's like, oh, Johnny's changing. Come up and help you.
Okay. He's about 100 meters away.
Whatever the fuck that means. And she's like, well, we're done now, but thanks.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And so she radios Johnny that they're set up. So then

Speaker 1 Serena in the kitchen, in the galley is like, you know, you really didn't need that, but you were asking for it. And Johnny goes, sorry.
And she's like, I'm talking to the sauce.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's like, he's like, you're mental completely in the best possible way, which is funny because earlier in the episode, when Zarina was going through it about Vian, she was like mashing something in a bowl very violently.

Speaker 2 She's like,

Speaker 2 getting all her anger out. So she's like, what? Me, mental?

Speaker 2 So she goes, do you think it's, it's going to stop someone from wanting to marry me? Because I'm like, so weird? He's like, no, you need to find somebody that is going to marry you for being yourself.

Speaker 2 If not, just get 10 dogs like Laura.

Speaker 1 So Brie's like, Lion has a crush on the dare, but I think he's like just a flirt, you know, and maybe he likes attention. I don't know.

Speaker 1 And, you know, he's wanted and he wants to be wanted in 10 different directions. And he is.

Speaker 1 So now it's dinner time. I'm like, oh my God, streamers.
Wow. This really does remind me of setting up in sorority with $5 budgets.
This is something

Speaker 2 that takes us all the way back. So Zarina is talking about how

Speaker 2 she made this risotto and everything and the surf and turf. It's a perfect balance of flavor and texture in your mouth.
I'm really excited about it, actually.

Speaker 2 But I see the rare, like the steaks are cooked pretty rare. And I was like, these steaks are going back.
I'm telling you this right right now.

Speaker 2 These ladies are going to want their steak more well done. I just get that vibe.

Speaker 1 And I don't eat,

Speaker 1 you know, I eat fish, but I don't eat meat. So I was,

Speaker 1 I had to like research it. I had to like look it up, you know, I was like, is this how they're supposed to be served? Because when I saw those, I was like, oh, no, those are practically living.

Speaker 1 You can't serve those. Those aren't just rare.
Those are like not cooked at all. So I was confused.
I noticed she got the sear on them because Jason complained last time that there was no sear.

Speaker 1 So she got the sear on and then it looked like she was putting them into the oven, but they came out purple.

Speaker 1 They shouldn't be purple. And I looked it up and yeah, it is served a lot more raw looking than regular beef is, but not that much.
I mean, yikes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've only had Wagyu twice, I think.

Speaker 2 like real like the nice like does i mean there's different things like people like oh here's a kobe beef slider or whatever but like the really really nice is it called like a9 or something like that and it is served incredibly incredibly rare um and it's like melt in your mouth, delicious.

Speaker 2 But like when I had it, it was like in a Japanese restaurant. So it was like this little sort of sliver.
It was a beautiful sliver.

Speaker 2 And so it's like super rare, but it almost feels like appropriate because it's like, it's on the heels of sushi and lovely things. You're like, yes, I will have this red piece of meat with a char.

Speaker 2 But I think like getting a big old filet

Speaker 2 that's like sear on the outside and then just see how red it is in the middle, that could be really, really

Speaker 2 upsetting to people. So I get

Speaker 1 a bit of ignorant on the Wagyu front, but I was like, oh, no, don't serve that. And then I felt

Speaker 1 better once I Googled it. And also when I Googled it, it's usually thin

Speaker 1 served sliced, right?

Speaker 2 Or is that? Yeah, exactly. It's like how I, exactly.
It's like how I, I don't know how, actually, I'm not going to act like I know how it's normally served, but,

Speaker 2 but like, I definitely was like, that's very rare.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 this probably won't land well.

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 so let's i'm looking i'm staring at pictures online of i'm staring at it i'm like

Speaker 2 you know it is it is cooked it is often served very rare i'm looking at the pictures now it's served very rare but but hers were well hers were really really rare although there is this one picture where it's pretty purplish i mean it looks delicious i'll have it i'll have it in any temperature But I can't tell if that's the way these are supposed to be served to eat.

Speaker 1 I mean, a lot of it is just raw. It's like pre-cooked.
It's like not before it's cooked.

Speaker 1 I don't mean pre-cooked. I mean pre-cooking.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I can't tell.
So the jury's out on this one. I have no idea.
But my first thought was too rare.

Speaker 2 So I just want to know what does it look like when you're a piece of wagyu and a cuttlefish is about to eat you.

Speaker 1 So then,

Speaker 1 let's see. So now the guys have been sent down to help with cabins.
This is another thing I'll say. The deckhounds are being asked to do a lot, which,

Speaker 1 you know, not to defend Vihan here, but she does ask a lot of the deck crew. Now, granted, they don't really do it, like as we just saw with the

Speaker 1 preparation for dinner, but do we usually see the deck hands help this much with interior?

Speaker 2 I think that they needed to help out a maybe not. I don't know.
I think it's standard amount. There's apparently a huge amount of sand.

Speaker 2 So they just needed someone to like basically scoop up the sand while this while this dudes did other stuff. Also, the deck hands are presenting shirtless.

Speaker 2 They're serving the food shirtless for some reason. I mean, it's nice.
I mean, we like it. They have nice bodies.
But I'm like, why are they shirtless for this sorority anniversary occasion?

Speaker 2 It was just sort of one of those funny things where I'm like, oh, is this just what they're going to, if there's ever like a group of all women, they're just going to make the guys take off all their shirts every time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I'm down. So the guys are supposed to be cleaning the dirt, but Vion's feet hurt.
So he's like, oh my God, my feet are so sore.

Speaker 1 So he sits down in the main salon and he's like, come on, guys, take a load off. So they're all just kind of sitting on the couches while he rubs his sandy feet.

Speaker 1 And Lara sees them and she's like, do you guys want to chill downstairs and not in the guest area? And he's like, oh.

Speaker 2 And we have like, the update is Laura has climbed 793 stairs so far.

Speaker 2 So Laura then goes and does the time honor tradition of

Speaker 2 Blow Deck, which is go and bitch about the deck hands to her second in command. So she's like, these boys, and Brie's like, yeah.
It's like, all they do is laying on sofas in the main salon.

Speaker 2 She's like, no way. All of them, did Harry say he would invite them to Australia? She's like, yes.
And he said it with conviction. And this is my pride and joy, you know, having clean sofas.

Speaker 2 And they're just sitting on the clean sofas.

Speaker 1 And Brie's like, maybe.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry, I'm stopping my own head.

Speaker 1 So Vion's like, okay, well, you know, the problem is when I go down there and sit down there, then I need to wash up or like I need to go clean cabins or something like that.

Speaker 1 So I don't want to sit down there.

Speaker 1 Well, doing your fucking job, bro.

Speaker 2 Yeah, or you could just say no. You could just say, no, I've got to do other things.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I cannot run up and down like this all night.
My feet are sore. I'm tired.
I've never had to do this. It's too much.
I'm like, Lara's going up and down all night.

Speaker 2 So if she can do it, you can do it.

Speaker 1 So this is the same thing. Yeah, the real villain on this season, we've been waiting for like a true villain to emerge and it's been here the whole time.
It's those fucking stairs. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The biggest sitstir on any season, those stairs.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would also say the stairs have a co-accomplice or just an accomplice with the humidity because everything about this show just feels humid. Like I feel humid when I watch this show.

Speaker 2 And so I think stairs and humidity and what seems like is there's just like no air conditioning on this boat. Like I noticed in the crew rooms, one of the rooms, someone has like a

Speaker 2 fan that they've just pulled out of a box. So like, is this, is it not ventilated in there? I need to know all the details.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think even if there is AC, you probably just need air.
It's just humid. There's, it's very thick air.

Speaker 1 So she's mad because Vion is setting a bad example for his team, you know, and if he was really a team player, he should be offering to help in cabins and help run plates.

Speaker 1 And, you know, she's like, I mean, should I offer him a cocktail? So then the next course is served, which is surf and turf, which is this. waggy beef.

Speaker 1 So immediately a couple of the ladies are like, yeah, I'm going to need this more done. Like, this is crazy.
Please send this back. So then it's three.

Speaker 1 And then I think it's all of them that end up getting sent back right now.

Speaker 2 Almost all of them. It's like a lot of them go back or, and they're very, by the way, and these guests are super nice.
They're not like Divas. They're not obnoxious.

Speaker 2 Despite the fact that they call themselves Divas, they're not. They're, they've actually been like lovely this entire time.

Speaker 2 In fact, going back to that scene when they were talking to Laura and Marie about like, you know, like Harry and stuff like that, they were so

Speaker 2 sweet and fun. Like, I just want, I was like, I want to hang out with them.
So they were like very kind.

Speaker 2 No, they warned us that they they were going to be holy terrors and they're like lovely after they're like they're like we're restaurateurs and we will not hold that against your cooking we just want this cooked a little bit better like you know they're just so nice so they but they but you know zarina is like embarrassed and she's like these steaks are cooked but i think these women just i just don't think they want to see any blood at all and they're restaurateurs and i would have thought they would have recognized the high and vague steak how it's really meant to be eaten and i should have just fucking charred the shit out of it for them so um luckily jason's down there i mean unluckily, right?

Speaker 1 Because all the plates are sent back. So that's not a great look.
But luckily, he does know Wagyu. So he's eating it and he's like, oh, no.
I mean, you couldn't have cooked that anymore.

Speaker 1 You know, she goes, yeah. Yeah, because it's Wagyu.
Thank you for getting me. Thank you.

Speaker 2 So then

Speaker 2 there's a cake that's going to be going up, which, by the way, props to Zarina for making a three-tier cake, or at least a very tall two-tier cake, because I feel like the last few below decks, people have been really skimping on their cake work, especially Cloyce,

Speaker 2 who had to like buy a cake for that one occasion. So Zarina made like a big ass cake and they put a 25 on top and Vion's like, oh, so one of them is 25? And they're like,

Speaker 1 it's the 25th anniversary, you idiot.

Speaker 1 So they serve it. They love it.
The guests love it. And now it's bedtime.
And so we get a Bri and Harry getting to know themselves, getting to know each other a moment. So Brie is,

Speaker 1 oh my God, they're not big soda drinkers i mean the last charter drank so many sodas he's like soda water and she goes no like coke i love diet coke that's me opening up so just like

Speaker 2 i know i love dr pepper you know the first thing i do when i go to the us is get a physical exam from dr pepper and she's like oh yeah you get a dr pepper she's like yeah and you know i go to in and out too and she goes do you have shake shack he's like no you'll have to take me there she goes

Speaker 2 oh god brie this is the moment you've been waiting for. Say it, Bri.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 He's like, what?

Speaker 2 Maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because you said earlier, maybe when they said, are you going to take her to Australia? You said, maybe. I mean, thanks a lot.
Maybe. And he's like, is that what I said? She goes, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what you said. Maybe.
Well, guess what? Maybe I'll bring you to New Jersey to taste our version of Diet Coke.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll bring you to the bridge that says, Trenton gives and the world takes.

Speaker 2 Whatever that bridge was. And Harry's like, well, sorry.

Speaker 2 I mean I didn't think I should tell Carter charged to guess all our crew's secrets it's dark eh she's like damn it so now Vion goes to offer some help with to Serena again and she's going to bed and

Speaker 1 then Marina's like um so Serena I'm having a little bit of cake is that okay she goes go ahead she's like rumors are that Vion used to strip and then we see the flashback of Vion telling the boys that he wasn't a stripper but he did work at a place called Beefcakes, which was a gay bar, which is like stripping, except you just stand there in your dock strap and kind of do a toe-touch.

Speaker 2 That's exactly right. He didn't, he wasn't taking off clothes actively, he just was already just a go-go dancer, just standing there.

Speaker 2 So, um, uh, Zarina's like, but I think on next night out, I'll probably give it a good old go. And Marina's like, Bitch, you have to fight me for that.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 So, Zarina's like,

Speaker 1 oh man,

Speaker 1 Marina's passive aggression is so funny. She's like, do you mind if I eat some cake? It's like, damn, she's doing it.
She sounds so villainous.

Speaker 1 And then Serena tells us, oh, honey, I don't have to fight for a man. I have trails of candy.
Fight it. And Marina just goes, oh,

Speaker 1 is this truffled? It's very strong.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, no. I would never want to make

Speaker 1 out.

Speaker 2 I would never want to make out with someone who puts so much truffle in a dish. Am I right, Vian?

Speaker 2 So Serena's like, fuck off.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, there is a trail of 25th anniversary cakes in the hallway leading to her doorway now.

Speaker 1 So now the next day, Serena sees Vian and she's like, did you sleep well? And he's like, yeah, I feel good. It's weird because I slept on a sheet of Snickers.
There were Snickers all over my mattress.

Speaker 1 She's like, it feels great, doesn't it? Doesn't it feel good to be loved? Well, I was shattered last night, you know, so I might see a masseuse come to the boat

Speaker 1 later. And he's like, well, I'm a good masseuse.
And she goes, well, I'd rather not get in a fight with a certain Brazilian person who doesn't understand truffles.

Speaker 2 He's like,

Speaker 2 I didn't realize Daryl Hannah was Brazilian. No, not her, you idiot Marina.
Oh, I see. She's put her foot down with me.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Did you put your foot down also? She's like, no. How do you feel about it all?

Speaker 1 He's like, well, to be very honest with you, i like the fact that women are fighting over you no no no i like the fact that neither of you are a dear because i still have a shot with her oh come on shut up he says he likes that she asked him out for a drink because you know he basically wants like a french bread pizza from weight watchers just low effort okay he's like i don't care it's it's easier to just microwave this shit i'm getting it and so then we cut to uh but he's like but it's not like she's my girlfriend or anything you know and so then marina is talking about him to Lara.

Speaker 1 And she's like, you know, yesterday I had my hair put some perfume, blah, blah, blah. And I come out and Vion passed me.
And he didn't even look in my eyes. And I'm like, okay, fine, man.

Speaker 1 And Lara's like, oh, my God, I think they're like gods. Jeez.

Speaker 2 So then Zarina's telling Vion, you know, honestly, I can't stop having it, which I think is a little bit of a crush. And he's like, oh, yeah, well, I don't really know what to say about that.

Speaker 2 Do you want to ask me out on a date? So meanwhile, Adair and Johnny are dealing with the jet ski. And she's like, hey, y'all, I'm going to get this crane up over the boat.

Speaker 1 Okay, look.

Speaker 2 Oh, geez, there's moonshine in that jet ski. And he's like, no, I think that is just water.
I think we have to drain the water. Are you sure it's not moonshine?

Speaker 2 Pretty sure it's just water.

Speaker 1 So Vion's like, why is it like this? And she's like, well, she's lean and weird, that's for sure. And he goes,

Speaker 1 yeah, just drop it.

Speaker 1 She's like, okay, well, cable up i'm gonna lower it and johnny's like uh should we bring that jet ski down and she's like yeah i'm worried i mean that thing is leaking like a horse after a long trip i mean come on what if they hit something out there or the one with the law the short hair can't swim which listen if you can't swim don't go on things in the middle of the ocean don't go on water toys and i'm not

Speaker 1 shaming people for not knowing how to swim i'm shaming people for not knowing how to swim and then going into the middle of the water don't do that yeah yeah it's like, I can't ski, so I'm not going to like just grab on to someone who can ski and then just like go down a slope with them.

Speaker 2 It's like, I just, this, there will be no skiing for me.

Speaker 1 That's scary. I can't swim.
And I went on one of those excursion things on a cruise one time where we were like in a snorkel or whatever.

Speaker 1 And look at the, first of all, there was no underwater creatures. I don't know where the hell they all were.
They probably saw me above them.

Speaker 1 And they're like, this is what it looks like when a rondal comes to eat you.

Speaker 1 So they ran away. I never saw them, but that water was rough.
I could not swim. I I was like, I'm going to die here.

Speaker 1 I'm going to die here in very shallow waters with my mom looking on and the smirk on her face. Like, I paid for the swim lessons, you idiot.

Speaker 1 But I didn't die, but I'm still scared of going back out there. That shit's strong.
So in other words, yeah, don't go in the middle of the ocean if you don't know how to swim.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So Dara's like, is this, is a water ski? Is water supposed to be completely filled on the inside of a jet ski? Now, I'm nervous, honestly.

Speaker 2 And then Vion's like, oh, no, it's very, it's not an uncommon thing. I've seen this before.

Speaker 1 So many times at beefcakes, there would just be like water in places it wasn't supposed to be just get them up you know turn on the valves i mean if it starts leaking it means you're doing your job that's how we said it at beefcakes like wait a minute so uh i don't think it's supposed to be filled on the inside of the jet ski he goes yes that's why there's valves you let the water drain i'm not too concerned about it and so they're like okay so now it's jet ski time and johnny takes india she's the girl with the short hair on a jet ski and then it starts toppling over and they fall in the water and she's out

Speaker 2 and they make it look really scary because they just keep the like there's like a gopro on the jet ski and the jet ski's like tumbling around in the ocean so it looks like like india just died and she's fine she's got a life preserver on johnny's right there they're gonna climb back on but you know they make it look terrible and i mean it's scary for her and i'm sure i'm i hope beyond gets in trouble for disregarding safety practices but i guess we'll have to wait till next week to see what happens imagine next week they're like and that was the first passenger on below deck to die it's like oh whoa never mind yeah geez give us some warning before we make fun of these people every week you know all right everybody well thanks so much for being with us we will be back uh with tons of stuff this week if you want traders recaps or videos come over to our patreon and get live show tickets over at watch what crappins.com and we'll talk to you next time

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Speaker 3 Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 3 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 3 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 3 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 3 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 3 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.