
#2743 RHOBH S1413 Part Two: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget
This is part 2 of a two-parter
There’s a Caviar and Caftans party on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Sutton rips Dorit for being poor after another comment on her alcohol intake. Who will end up with fish eggs on their face? To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.
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Hi everyone, welcome back.
This is part two of a two-
Thank you. Who cares what happens when there have so much to tell you.
Me too. I haven't seen you since my 4th of July party.
Okay, well, I'm not going to talk today, am I? Four eggs. Yeah, exactly.
So then we see a flashback to the party and everything. and so then Kathy, we see also a flashback to one week earlier,
and Kathy was asking Kyle about the trip to Augusta,
and Kyle says it was emotional.
And Bo says, look, I think there's an opportunity just to say,
hey, look, we need you in this sisterhood.
We need you in this circle, and if you don't join,
we're going to recruit a baby doctor.
So get in, bitch.
If we don't have a pinata to hit, how are the kids supposed to eat candy after it's broken? Get in here. But also she's saying, you know, I wish we had known that she had all this trauma that she was reliving on this trip, because maybe that would have made that day different, which it wouldn't have.
But that's a nice thought on her part. And so she's like, what what certain needs is to stop playing the victim in situations she created and then manipulate people and bully them into believing that she's the innocent one I'm tired of it I've had it she's a court fitness have I used that one already I'm sick of people acting playing the victim card now Bose you do you will cover this, you will cover this ride, right? Because I'm $10,000 down after someone stole my purse at a big lots.
So, Doris. I'm sorry, did I say Target before? I meant Walmart.
I'm at a CVS Greens. So, Doris, I always say Sutton's behavior is very inconsistent.
And I've been around that really nice, sweet, fun, compassionate person.
And we see a flashback to two months earlier when Sutton was trying to be nice.
And she's like, if you're getting divorced, I will be there with you to laugh in your face.
I mean, laugh with you at something to be a sisterhood.
You know, nice friend.
And then we go back to the present and she's like, but I've also been around her evil twin sister. And it's like, they don't even have to show a flashback for that because we all know what that's like.
Yeah, look, I mean, I think she got along with Sutton before because when you're trying to get along with someone and make a new friend, you should know what they're interested in and, you know, talk to them about their hobbies and stuff. And she found it with Sutton because Sutton loves divorce.
Sutton's hobby. She's like, like, you're getting a divorce? I'm gonna be there every step of the way.
I'm gonna get that man by the balls. I'm gonna squeeze him until money starts falling out of his ears.
And she's like, I've never seen the side of you. It's my hobby.
Unfortunately, when you squeeze PK by the balls, the only thing that comes out is Kewpie mayo. So, um...
One time I did get it to give me a Keurig-style mocha. Delicious.
The worst part is when he started saying... It was almost filling my cup.
And then it went... And I realized I had that water he kept calling himself nespik so um dorit is like um i think that today is a good day for us to definitely at least hold her accountable accountable she's like yes i i yes to talk about it i agree with that so i love both started this like you know what we should do she had some trauma and i think at this point we need to reach out to setten and say setten we still love you you're part of the circle and to because you mean yell at her good i mean let's do it sure let's confront the why not i'll have a good story to tell keely later so um well at least somebody paid attention to me they're having an egg party a lot of egg houses at this place so um we're at caviar caspia i've never heard that term of course me listen what a surprise ben mandelker doesn't know a term that has anything to do with reproduction because i'm like vagina scary i'm a gay man um but I haven't heard that term egg house before.
I guess is that like a follicle or something like that? You know what? I'm just not even going to do this. What the fuck? You want to talk about, you know, the history of war in America? Like what the fuck? I'm talking about egg house vagina.
This was not the right thing to look up. Okay, why'd you put vagina in there? Just
put egg house. Okay, egg house, uterus.
No, because then you wind up getting a bunch of breakfast places. Oh, how a fertilized egg finds its home in a uterus.
I think I'm just, You know what?
time times time time
time
time
time
time
time
time
Egg House Hunters egg house hunters so we go over to caviar caspia and there's a long table which thank god they planned this out because it's incredible and there's vodka bottles lined up so they are expecting sudden which is nice and there's some very bad handwriting on some place cards. And Jennifer Tilly is like, I've got placemats everybody.
There's placemats there. They're place cards.
Okay. And they're written terribly.
Well, look, I've got a caftan. Oh, oh, oh.
It's hard to walk in a caftan. Second trip in a week.
Two weeks in a row of people tripping. Okay.
Hello. Hello everything is great the first time I went to caviar caspia was during fashion week And it's the place to go in in Paris and like when you go there like you see all the supermodels and the Designers and the famous people and the food is phenomenal And I mean caviar and everything and like always when you go to caviar caspia you're hoping someone else is going to pick the bill.
I'm like, lady, you've got Simpsons money. You're picking up the bill for everyone there, okay? You're picking up my bill when I go out with you, if I ever get to live out that dream.
So she's talking to her other friends who aren't on the show, and she's like, You know, Anna Marie, this is my friend Whitney. This is my friend Diana.
Diana's the most fun girl. One time she took off her top and jumped into a swimming pool, sucked off a horse and grabbed the edge of a helicopter blade and spun around and around until she was flinged off into Santa Barbara.
Fun girl. Anne Marie's like, wow.
So then Erica arrives and she's like, I like this Jennifer Tilly. I think she's smart.
I think she's fun. She has incredible style.
Couture, jewels, couture, caftan. I'm into it.
I give a fuck. Now she's trying to get something I do not know.
Yeah. So Garcelle arrives next, and Jennifer's like, Oh, my God.
I'm a people here. We have the same caftan.
Oh, you're gorgeous in blue. We both did the blue eyeliner.
I love that. I love what you've done there.
And then Faye Resnick shows up. I mean, wow.
Wow. This is a big episode.
Yeah, it's a big one. Morally corrupt Faye Resnick with Kathy Hilton.
I'm wearing a caftan made out of lemons because I've been to Capris. Anybody? Love their lemons there.
Lots of hugs going around and everyone's talking about I'm so glad it's not as hot as it was at July 4th and everything. And then we go over to son, Kyle and Jen, Kyle's personal assistant slash friend, riding in Jennifer Tilly's caviar and caftain, riding to the party in an SUV.
And Kyle's like, um, so I was filling Jen in on what happened the other day at retreats and she was like the first one there. And like Sutton was like the first one there and like no one was there.
And she just had to sit there and like sat there and sat there and sat there and sat there. It was like hilarious.
Yeah, for 40 minutes. It was disturbing.
So we see a clip of that sudden just walking around that, that farmhouse like, what do I do in a style like this? It's just terrible. It's horrible.
Are these plastic floors? I mean, I was just, I was watching the Babysitter's Club and I's like, what's the Babysitter's Club? They're Dorit's friends.
So they were like all 14.
Yeah.
So you want me to be nice?
They're like, oh my God, 14, Sutton.
Yeah, well, you want me to be nice?
I'm not being nice today.
This is not that Sutton.
I don't know why Dorit continues to come after me.
And she's like full on squint mode where she's just squinting at the cameras and her little cat eyes are gleaming behind her eyes. Like, she's ready to rip her new one.
She's like, I mean, there's obvious reasons. There's people in our group that have a lifestyle that Dorit aspires to have.
Unfortunately, she did not marry someone rich enough. Okay? Now, I could understand the confusion when you marry the Pillsbury Doughboy.
That man could be getting a lot of residuals. But unfortunately, he's just an actor at the end of the day.
Unfortunately, crescent rolls aren't going to pay the bills. So, then they go back to Caviar Caspia and everyone's drinking and enjoying things.
And Faye Resnick is like, oh, I'm dying to see your jewelry. Well, are you seeing this stuff? This is wonderful.
And then there's, you know, Jennifer's showing off her jewelry. She's like, this is Caragagno.
This is Caragagno. This is Caragagno.
This is Bulgari. This is Bulgari.
This is Forever 21, just to mix it up. And this one, I don't even know what this one is.
This is just some sort of like gold thing that I just picked up somewhere just by being rich. Yeah.
Yeah, these people are so tacky on this show. I love it.
Because on one end, it's like, it is the glamorous one. Like, even the car Erica drove up in, I was like, oh my god, they got her a really nice car on Beverly Hills to drive that thing.
But they're just so tacky. Like, oh yeah, look how much money I had from this and that and this.
It's so trashy. I mean, they're so rich, but so trashy.
I love it. This one I got by raiding a pyramid in Egypt.
That was wonderful that I got to do that one. I love that one.
This one is from, oh, this one's from a sacred temple in remote India. So I got that one as well.
It's just lovely. I'm sorry.
Did you say Inja? Please get out of here. You weren't't invited naughty boy.
All right. I'll go back to designing pool houses You don't gotta tell me I'm a trophy already know I'm a trophy You don't gotta tell me I'm a trophy because I know Trixie.
So then Dorit and Boz arrive.
Trophy. don't gotta tell me I'm a trophy because I know I know I know I know I know I know Trixie so then Dorit and Boz arrive trophies trophies both and uh suddenly everybody comes everybody's here so um Dorit is not dressed in a caftan she's wearing like some black and white splotchy dress and it's awkward and Garcelle's like oh does Chanelanel not make caftans was there nobody with a cc stamp for dorit today don't tell tallulah getty or whatever her name is talitha getty um so garcelle uh yes so uh i like how garce says, is that why Miss Thing isn't wearing one? Miss Thing.
So, um, everyone's ordering drinks and everything and Kyle asks for a mocktail and Dorit's like, well, I think I missed the caftan memo. It sounds like, how did you miss that? Which is actually a fair question.
I mean, everyone's wearing a, everyone's wearing a caftan, even like, even like the Uber drivers
are wearing caftan.
Even like the Uber
drivers are wearing caftans, just in case they might get invited
in. Even Faye, who wasn't invited,
is wearing a caftan, you know?
And Sutton's like, did I miss the
caftan memo?
Idiot. She's stupid.
I guess poor people
don't understand what caftans are.
But I didn't
read the invitation properly.
I read the caviar
Ha ha ha ha. I guess poor people don't understand what caftans are I didn't read the invitation properly I read caviar caspia so I knew there was caviar I knew that there was a friendly ghost but I didn't see the caftans part I'm just not a big fan of them so this Dior dress will have to do anyway Sutton, it's important to stay hydrated.
And because Sutton's drinking water,
and Dorit's like,
oh, is that because of our tet?
Our tet?
She's like,
is it okay for me to drink water?
Am I allowed to drink water?
Aren't I allowed to have drink water?
Or is that something that a poor person
doesn't understand?
Oh, are you in that mood today?
She goes, no.
Why'd you ask?
You started it, Dorit.
You started it. Leave me alone.
She will not leave me alone. I said it five years ago when I met her.
When I met her and I unleashed my instant famous line, let the mouse go. Roll it, boys.
You can now buy that on a ball gown that's $19,000 from my store. And on the back, it says, let the mask go.
I'm sure we're going to sell things. Let the mask go.
Hashtag green line. Green line.
Green line. So, yeah, she's kind of giving her shit, but I don't know.
My friends give me so much shit every time I don't have a drink. I can't be so mad at Dorit yet.
I'm sorry, I can't. I see that there's all this outrage about it.
I just, like I'm just not feeling it.
There is.
I think it's funny.
And I think that Sutton is so defensive about drinking
that she's making herself look like an alcoholic.
I've never seen anybody this defensive.
Just be like, shut up, Dorit.
When Sutton is totally unhinged,
it is just the best.
And like everything sets her off.
So she's like, well, I need to tell her I am not a mouse.
Okay, she goes, is it okay for me to drink water?
She's like, okay, well, listen, I never know which Sutton I'm going to get, but now I know.
And so then they move over to the table because the potato's going to get cold.
And so Jennifer...
Everyone put on your blindfold.
I have a very special, special surprise.
Take them off. That's right.
The tables are in a line. Well, this is revolutionary.
Revolutionary. Did one of the architects from Spain organize this? So, everyone's sitting down.
And Garcelle notices a name at the table, a seating tag, place tag, whatever. Place card.
And she says, Anne-Marie. And Garcelle's like, what? Who's Anne-Marie? I'm going to preload my no.
And then we see a flashback to America's favorite housewife, Anne-Marie. Anna-Marie.
Talk about the esophagus.
She's like, you, I know everything about your esophagus because I am a doctor, a medical doctor surgeon.
No, these are my friends.
This is a non-famous Anne-Marie.
They're like, oh, thank God.
She goes, I thought for a minute there.
Oh, hell no.
Anna-Marie is like, and another lawsuit. I will be suing you along with the Medical American Association.
This is all because of the libs. Well, guess who's not going to be showing up at your lib party anytime soon? I am now spearheading a new movement called MAIA, which is Make America Esophagus Again.
We have 8.5 members. So they sit down, and it's awkward because Sutton and Dorit are already snipping at each other.
And Dorit's like, wow, what a great way to start the day. A dry drunk.
Say thank you. Hi, Faye Resnick is here.
Hello. Jennifer, that's amazing you were nominated for an Academy Award.
Unlike Kyle's best friend who won one. Way to keep current, Faye.
Way to keep current. It was a very, very long time ago, and I did get to go to the big show.
It was nice.
Gregory Peck stepped on my train.
Oh, really?
Well, one time, Taylor Armstrong threw what's-his-buns Vanderpump into a pool.
Ken Vanderpump, so pretty close.
Who's Gregory Peck?
Am I right?
All right, guys.
Am I right?
So, yes, it's Gregory Peck, and I wore Isaac Mizrahi. Oh, really? And you and your sister are the only sisters that have been nominated, or was that Olivia de Havilland and her sister, too? I love when Erica does her Wikipedia research before scene.
It's always so funny. I was married to a lawyer.
Yes, Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine. That's who you're thinking about.
Both of them are owners of dresses that that motherfucker Gregory Peck didn't step on, so I raised a potato to them. Yes, and we are also the only two Chinese-American people that were nominated also.
And Eric is like oh you're chinese yes i'm half chinese and my dad my dad was chinese oh really because i'm 10
native shut up eric
how did this not get clocked like what it's time for a commercial It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.
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Oh, because I have, I did, I did, I did 23 of me and I'm 10% Native, so there, we can bond. You know, I'm the only 10% Native person who has not been nominated for an Academy Award, so I'm glad we had this discussion.
And she goes, Oh, sorry, well, we always wanted to be Native American because we loved Cher and the same and that song that she sang
Half-Breathe.
Yeah, but she's Armenian from the Valley.
Gross!
Which I did not know this, by the way.
And then everybody goes,
Isn't that funny?
Isn't that funny? She's from the Valley.
How hilarious. And Erica's like,
Yeah, Cherilyn Sarkeesian from
fucking Van Nuysys that's a
fucking chair give me a break and i can't get a hit single come on you've got to be kidding me um erica you've got a real thing about the valley and let me just say as another chinese person i just don't understand it kelly dodd comes in she goes i'm black so Eric
well we love the valley
I lived in the valley
come on
you know it's the only place I can get consistent work. Listen, who doesn't love the valley? I mean, you're always at least five minutes away from a wienerschnitzel.
So Jennifer Tilly's like, okay, everybody. Does anybody want a cocktail? So they are going to, they order stuff.
And then suddenly doesn't want to be bugged about her alcohol. It's like, can I get some champagne in a white wine glass? Thank you.
I just need a bigger. I hate a skin glass.
Thank you. Do you have a jug? Do you have a gallon jug? Just bring that over.
Okay. And if not, I'm going to go.
Oh, look at you speaking French. and look at you speaking french because yeah sava francais you see uh garcelle's like girl she's like i mean i can't decide sorry i can't decide which person i'm gonna be today according to port rate and they just look at her like what what are you talking about and then uh boz kind of looks over at her and boz just wants to eat a pickle you know like boz is like not paying attention really but she looks over at her like, what? What are you talking about? And then Bose kind of looks over at her.
And Bose just wants to eat a pickle.
You know, like Bose is like not paying attention really.
But she looks over at her like, what?
And Seth goes, well, how many people do you have in you today?
And she goes, how many what?
How many people do you have in you today?
She goes, how many people do I what?
I've got four eggs.
Are they?
Are egg houses considered people?
Hey, could someone put my four egg houses on La Piscine? Thank you. Not the only one.
How many people do I have? One. Myself.
I don't have voices talking to me, honey. How many do you have? So, Buzz.
She didn't get the joke. She didn't get what Sutton was saying at all.
No, she got it. No, she got it.
She was being very nice. She was basically saying, was basically saying like excuse me also it's a great way to ruin someone's zinger is if if someone's like aha i'm gonna diss you and then you say wait can you say that again i didn't hear it and then they like lose their momentum and you're like oh okay so bo's i think bo's had full control over that situation so sudden's like well dorit already mentioned which person are you today rewind 20 minutes.
I never know which Sutton I'm going to get, and now I know. Oh, oh my god, how offensive.
This is so offensive. I can see why Sutton has a fit.
I've never heard anything so offensive. So Dorit goes, is that what you were referring to? That little comment I made? He goes, that's what That is what you said, Dorit.
That's what you said to eat what you said she goes well erica's like oh god we can't fight food's coming guys please i don't get an opportunity to eat baked potatoes with rolls on them all right come on guys it's my once a year baked potato okay and i just had my once a year hot dog oh and by the way i just want everyone to know that um on monday after we talked so much about Sir Wieners, and this is on the heels of Erica talking about her hot dog last week, I did, after we were done podcasting, I did drive off to a roadside stand and I ate two hot dogs. I just want to say, this show influences me.
Wow. For this network.
Yeah. It was fabulous.
Got your hot dogs in there. Good for you.
I just want to make sure I'm going to update all the zero people who cared about that. You hot dog gobbler.
So then Dorit's like, let me just back off of it, Sutton. She goes, you back off of me.
And she's like, but my lunch is being spoiled, all right? It's without PK here. It's the first time I actually have a chance to eat something on my own plate.
So please. And I said, well, I'm going to say something to you.
I'm going. I'm going to go.
And I mean this sincerely. So, Dorita just goes, Hold on.
Ding, ding, ding. And Dorita starts taking her glass.
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs has an announcement to make. So, Sun goes, Okay, we don't need a table announcement.
Okay, I'm just talking to you. She's like, Okay, everyone, Satan has something to say.
Everyone, please, please let this deranged person speak. Okay, no, I came to your house, to your 4th of July party to celebrate this country.
And I came calm, and I came in peace, and I waited, and as soon as Kyle got there, you came down and then you took my handbag. Oh, they all say they come in peace at first.
Ask my ancestors.
So, it's like, oh, how vicious of me.
Heaven forbid, a little humor.
He he he he he.
Oh, was it humorous?
Well, it depends on your mood.
It's humorous if you were in a good mood.
Well, I wasn't.
I came in in politeness. I bought you a very nice bottle of champagne.
That's out of your price bracket it's called andre i think you would like it and i cut flowers from my garden i held them for 30 minutes in your lobby now technically it wasn't flowers they were just dandelions which are actually weeds but whatever they made your lobby look nice and garza goes not lobby she goes, it looked like a lobby because I was the only one there.
So, you know, you wanted to point out the vodka and the grapefruit juice.
And then you put vodka in your Coca-Cola, which I thought was interesting.
And then we sit down and I get a watermelon drink and you go, aha, you're asking if there's alcohol in it.
That was a jab.
That was a jab.
And everyone's just looking at her like, what is this crazy lady?
Like, you have not said one offensive thing yet, except that she made you wait 30 minutes. The rest of it's like, so? She put some Coca-Cola in her, what are you mad about? And then Tariq goes, why was it a jab? And she's, and by the way, it's pronounced jeep.
It was a jeep. And at least I served rosé in a rosé glass glass so um sudden's like after what happened last year and what you did to me she's like what did i do to you last year you insinuated that i had a drinking problem and i am not a drunk even though i clearly have very defined opinions on where vodka should go damakole it okay non-coca-c-Cola.
Then we see a flashback
to the reunion where Dorit is wearing
that fucking red outfit
with the scarf over her head.
Hashemina.
I laughed so hard. I forgot about that.
I don't know how I forgot about it, but it made me
laugh so hard.
So he's like, well, wait. Do you think she she has an alcoholic? And Dorit's like, I don't know.
Well, I didn't mean to incend you eat, but you did kind of. But I'm just saying I don't know.
Well, how do I know if she has a drinking problem? Smell her breath. How dare you? How dare you? So we come back to present and Dorit's like, so I was the only one talking about your drinking.
It's like, but Kyle was there too.
But Kyle has apologized to me.
She did a split and said sorry.
So Dorit's like, oh, and I didn't apologize.
I didn't apologize to you? No.
I thought you did.
And then we get back to the reunion and she's like,
I'm sorry that you have a drinking problem.
She goes, I don't think that you have a drinking problem, Sutton.
And she goes, well, I don't.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know.
That's Doreen's big apology.
Sorry that I don't know.
Sorry I can't figure out if you have a drinking problem or not.
Maybe if you were sober for once, I would be able to tell the difference between you being sober and drunk.
But until then, I don't know. And you thought that was an apology? Well, I wasn't going to let you perpetuate that myth, which is what you wanted to do.
And you picked at me, and I'm sorry, you need to pick on somebody else whose wallet fits. And Garcelle goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
Garcelle's like, listen, I'm always on your side, but calm it down over there. And Kyle's just like, no, ma'am.
I cannot believe what just came out of her mouth. You should never pour shame someone.
You should just drive in front of Kim's house and just honk and wait until she comes out and tries to get on her bicycle and you're in a Range Rover. That's fun enough, isn't it? What you have to do is you go to Kim's house and you give her two envelopes and say, one has postage stamps, one has food stamps.
You have to choose, but you only get one. And just watch her reaction.
That's all you do. So then Erica is...
By the way, Sutton's thing didn't totally make sense. Like, don't pick on someone whose wallet fits.
I guess you're saying, like, pick on someone whose wallet fits your wallet. No, she's saying don't pick on someone so rich.
Yeah, find another poor person to fight with. Whose wallet fits the bill.
So Erica, oh, so you think you're bigger than her? And someone's like, I think my wallet is. Only because it's got little tiny airline bottles of vodka in it.
Most people on this show like it when someone says that there's something bigger than them, something larger than them. They're like, oh, does your wallet make me look skinny? So Dorit's like, and now we're seeing Sutton go where she's most comfortable to go.
As low as you can possibly go. Just because she thinks her ex-husband dropped a big puck in her lap, it doesn't give her license to be such a fucking C-word.
She just really loves saying the C-word this season. Yeah.
It's like, the only thing your big wallet has bought you is a horse instead of a date. Which I was like, damn.
Well, guess what? My horse was my date. There, I said it.
It's sick, but it brings me love. Stop picking on me picking on me pick on somebody else well what does money have to do with it all right erica who's like come on my private jet like erica was the biggest record of money but erica has been humbled you know and sutton is still in that unhumbled place so she's like i'm just i just want her to back off of me i'm tired of it i am tired of it i am tired of it well let me know when you don't sing i'm tired off of me.
I'm tired of it. I am tired of it.
I am tired of it. Well, let me know when you're done sing.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it.
So here we go. I'm talking about your wallet size.
Don't fuck with me. I don't regret it.
I won't regret. In fact, I'm proud that I said it.
Sutton is just like, oh, I love her living in her bitchery. So Sutton's like, well, let me make this very clear.
Missy. When she said Missy, oh my God, I died.
And then Erica's like, what's with the Missy? Why are you saying Missy? Because she was breaking big. She made it clear.
She didn't want me to be there. So guess what? I'm going to go.
I'm going to go. I'm going to go missing.
She's like, oh, so it's justified for you. It's not okay for Coyle.
She goes, I was sitting on the side of the road. Okay, I wasn't sitting on the side of the road in a bathrobe.
Okay, when I stormed out, I stormed out fully clothed and in a classy way. I stormed out like a person with a big wallet would storm out kyle was just like a poor person
in a bathrobe and then we see that again kyle looks offended and we see the flashback of kyle like i am leaving i am leaving i am leaving and crying on the on that street in hancock park uh so sudden's like i left because my hostess did not want me to be there she goes oh did i call you a bitch no but i should have called you a fucking bitch bruce is like and garza goes uh-uh uh-uh everyone's just making noises fans at the end of the table well i'm the one who's being mean to her do you see that i'm the one who's made to me to make her uncomfortable I'm the one who's made to make her feel uncomfortable.
I'm the one who's unwilcoming.
And she tells us, I'm so over Sutton's bullshit.
Honestly, I don't want to be around someone who is as tacky, low, classless.
Is that what fitness is? Is that still working, the comfort miss?
Question, anyone? Does anyone got a mirror? Well, she she needs one because she needs the touch up well sutton sutton really needs a fucking sudden first of all don't steal my mirror line i was setting myself up for my own punchline don't get to take it away from me excuse me mirror please that to seat number three because sutton needs a fucking mirror that she can hold up, hold on everyone, to her face. Haha, got her.
I don't want these girls getting into a caviar food fight. That would be messy and expensive.
I'm thankful. Well, what about you saying, I'm sorry, that was a terrible joke.
I take it back and then we're done. She goes, oh that's really good you think that's going to be done she's well i don't know but give it a shot okay let me try it such an i'm so sorry that was a terrible joke you're stupid cut fitness and they're like great job dorit well that worked out well but go on then tell me what to do then do you mean that it, Dorit? Do you mean it? Garcelle's like, just say my bad.
Don't say anything after that. Okay, if I offended you or upset you, even in that moment, had you said Dorit, please don't do that, it actually upsets me.
I did say it. I did.
No, you called me a beach in me house. A beach in me house.
Well, it was warranted. And then you decided that when you were gonna you're gonna go up you're gonna get up and walk out no i did not say i was gonna get up and walk out i said i'm gonna go so kyle's like um everyone let me ask you a question okay what do you two need from each other right now um so sally goes well she has nothing to give me i can promise you that unless it's debt she's poor okay that's what that's what i'm saying right now she is a poor poor person nothing to give me and i don't want it and she goes well i mean do you think i'm gonna sit here and keep taking this kyle and you have four people kyle sitting there and watching with with your lips doing nothing.
Kyle's like, what? What'd my lips do? I'm like literally trying to intervene and say, guys, does anyone know how to close a French door? Okay, you know what? I am not dealing with somebody who actually wants to have a productive conversation, who wants to have any type of relationship, let alone a civil one. She's like, well, is there anything either of you guys can do? Is there anything, something that she can do to make you feel better? If I twirl my ponytail, will that make you guys feel happier? I think that if you guys could just agree on one thing.
So what do you both think about Mauricio putting a picture of his Dancing with the Stars picture in the office? If I gave you guys complimentary overstock from Kyle by Shahida, would that make you happy? So it's like, I think that we need space. He goes, well, I'm good with that.
Give me space. It's all I'm going to be getting for the next five years after my house is taken away.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
So Kyle and Dorit switched spaces. And so now everyone is eating.
Now some more food comes out. And Kyle's like, oh my god, it looks amazing.
And Faye's like, well, I think Dorit just doesn't want people saying that she's late all the time. Oh, yeah.
Except that Dorit is late all the time, every single episode for six years. Yeah, Faye's trying to be the great mediator here.
She's like, yeah, Dorita doesn't want people saying she's late. And listen, I drink as much as you, Sutton.
I mean, we just all have little buttons, don't we? And Erica's like, oh, God, Faye, Faye. She goes, what? And Garceau's like, well, hello, everybody.
This is Faye. Sutton, would you like to stand up and say your name? How dare you? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that. I really...
Listen, nobody wants to be put into a box because of it. Period.
We don't want to be judged. We don't want to be labeled.
I mean, morally corrupt. How could you even? We just want to enjoy our lives.
And I think that's the problem. And if enjoying your lives means exploiting your friend who was murdered, that's okay, because that's your pursuit of joy.
And if anybody needs some completely unfashionable wicker baskets installed into a closet anytime soon, just give me a call. So the potatoes arrive.
They range from price $250 to $1,000. So Jennifer is like, well, Dorita's just rub's just rub and it seems like she's got a lot going on you know like she's like in an emotional state like poor dorito that was that was just just throwing a bone to to satin and it's like that's not poor dorito she's mean as hell i don't want to see her i don't want to speak to her we're done i don't care her about her at all so kyle and dorito talking to the side and she's like um how are you which is my way of saying can you ask me how i am and reed's like i didn't even get a chance to speak she's like yeah she's definitely on fire today no doubt and i definitely did not like stoke it in the car on the way over here yeah and uh she's kind of trying to make dorit make peace but dorit's like i, I will not go back out there.
Could you bring that baked potato? I'm really hungry. It's been a long time since I've been.
Oh, wait, this is fascinating. I'm really sorry you're hurt.
We had another breadcrumbs in my house today. Listen, okay, I keep telling myself, don't go there.
Don't go there. Oh, you're talking about oral sex with PK again? No, no.
I'm saying if I go as fucking low as she does, I will eviscerate her. And I do not want to go low because I already did marry PK and that was pretty low as it was.
So there's only so much a person's going to take. Yeah, well, maybe you guys need to like talk alone or something.
I have no patience for her. She's definitely not letting you talk today.
I mean, you know, Sutton, you know, it's Sutton. I mean, she just needs to cool down.
And after, and then she tells us, after spending time with Sutton and Augusta and hearing the stories about her dad, you know, they should just like kind of give her a break. Basically, she's like, I now understand a lot more why Sutton's triggered by the drinking comments, you know, but she doesn't tell this to Dorit.
She just tells this to us. Yeah, I'm not going to give any context to Dorit, but I'll just hold on to this card.
Yeah. I'll just let Dorit flounder here.
Yeah. Well, I just need a break from her.
She is too cuckoo. She's too all over the place.
And when she balances her meds, she can come to see me, period. Well, that's another, you know, that's another one but with sutton so carl's like oh yeah um she gets offended by that i wouldn't say that she's well she gets offended by almost everything i'm so over this woman she's gross i don't i don't even have any will to try anymore i just want to go home while i've got it and leave this miserable beat to enjoy a big wallet.
You guys should talk, just like the two of you.
Yeah. to go home while i've got it and leave this miserable beach to enjoy a big wallet um you guys should talk just like the two of you yeah so now it's the next day and everything's like fun fun fun and then a boom oh hello this boom is brought to you by garceau bouvet hello everyone hold on oh no no no and headlines appear marisa's mystery woman is identified as Russian-born actress who's 20 years younger than Kyle Rich's ex and is in a movie with Alec Baldwin, who will also be on TLC soon.
LOL, am I right? Wow, Sutton, I'm FaceTiming you. Have you seen the social media? Did you see the photos of him in Greece at the airport
with a girl who has no clothes on?
Yeah, and we see the picture of Mauricio
kissing this young girl at the Avis Rent-A-Car airport.
So Sutton's like, we got a lot to unpack here.
We got a lot to unpack here.
So then we go to Boze's and she's like,
oh my God, Dorit, did you see the news?
I'm not going to't a friendly kiss. Like, oh, like we've been together type of kiss.
Like homegirl's hands were all up around his neck. And she goes, oh, it felt like a punch in the gut for Kyle, I'm sure.
It was very funny for me. So then we go over to Kyle, and Erica calls her, and Erica's just giving her a look on the phone like, She's like, what? What? Well, I was going to ask you how you are.
She's like, well, I really don't know how I am right now, to be honest. I mean, I'm just here in the house.
There's a chair stuck in the doorway. I don't know how to get it out.
I've been crying in the mini cottage all day. So Kyle's like, well, she's like, I mean, I had no idea, but it's like all over the internet.
Like, I don't even know. She's like, well, if you why are you greeting them at the airport? And if you know this is going to happen.
Yeah, obviously. Like, when someone gets a shot of you like that, like, you just don't know.
Like, obviously, he, like, didn't know his picture was being taken. Like, obviously.
And, like, I don't think especially in Europe, you're expecting that to happen. Yeah, like, what? See, like, why is it paparazzi in Greece taking a photo of Mauricio? I don't think't think that's i don't think that's something that's just gonna happen on its own listen this is what i you know i've been saying this forever that those two are just planning all these paparazzi shots there's no way that anybody cares this much about kyle and morgan or mauricio i'm sorry there's just no way yes yes and so it's obviously fishy so i loved this episode because finally somebody is on that, you know? And so she's, not that no one else thought it, it's just, you know, when you hear it on TV, it's like, oh my God, I'm not as crazy as I thought.
So she's like, he didn't do it on purpose, is that what you're implying, Erica? And she's like, no, I didn't say on purpose, I'm just thinking, it can't be naive, is what I'm thinking. So then we go to Garcelle FaceTiming Sutton, and Sutton's like, I mean, that was not an accidental paparazzi shot.
This was a playing photo, and you know I'm being serious because I'm putting beats between each of my words and tiny little breaths. Also, when you're as wealthy as Mauricio, you're not going to Avis.
You have a car service. So, like, the fact that they were, like, in front of Avis, like, smooching in Greece in front of Avis.
I think it was the baggage claim, right? I think the Avis was just the background. I don't think they were actually at the Avis.
They weren't, like, waiting for their point escort. They're like, hi, I'm here to pick up my...
I'm here to pick up my... I'm here to pick up the keys to a 25-year-old.
I will get insurance on that, yeah. So...
That was not accidental. That was a planned photo.
And she's like, well, no one's going to hire someone to take that photo. Yeah, they are.
Now, I have been to the airport. And really, honestly, I think I was in the airport when Jennifer Aniston was there.
And there was no paparazzi. And I just passed by her and said, poor bitch.
Maybe next time, grow your wallet and you'll get a paparazzo. So Sutton says, my one thought is this.
Are Kyle and Mauricio using paparazzi to tell our stories, to do a War of the Roses thing with, like those pictures of Morgan picking her up at the airport, getting gas, walking down the street? Huh, wait, are you saying Mo planted those photos to get back with Kyle to do that? Huh, huh. Wait, let me add one more thing.
Wow. I, and she says, that's 100%.
I think that probably it's more likely that Kyle did it. Because Kyle is looking, you know, Kyle needs some more feelings.
What am I trying to say? Like sympathy. I think Kyle feels like she needs some more sympathy from the girls.
So I think if anybody did it, it was probably Kyle. But I would believe that he did it.
I definitely believe they both call the paps on themselves. I think they both call the paps on themselves.
And Kyle is going to continue peddling the story that they're having the best, most amicable divorce of all time. And that's nice to think.
But this is going downhill. It's going downhill.
Well, yeah, and also it's the same episode where Kyle was saying, I think she told her therapist, you know, I thought this is what I wanted, but now he's off living his own life, and I think it's time that I did something. Like, I think it's time I made a change, inferring that she's going to get a divorce.
Like, it's finally time to get a divorce. And then, coincidentally, then pictures show up of Mauricio with this young girl.
now i think but then she's also like oh you're gonna live your best life well here's here she's not gonna brag to him that she's living her best life but she will make it seen and known so um yeah it's 100 they're going after each other with uh paparazzi and uh it's fun and we benefit from it because it's hilarious so yeah good times yeah as far as the sutton versus street stuff i just they're both assholes and i love it i'm enjoying them both i'm not terribly offended by either either one of them at this point i'm just enjoying the ride i'm just enjoying that the show has has moved a bit out of its like uh the the polite rut it had been in for a few seasons there, towards the end of, like, the Lisa Rinna stint there. I'm not saying it's because of Lisa Rinna.
I'm just saying it was around that time. And now they're just, like, outwardly, just really saying what's on their mind.
I think that's actually really good for the show. Yeah, well, super fun episode.
Thanks for being with us, you guys. It was a very fun two-parter.
We'll be back tomorrow with some Summer House, which is also going to be wild because it's Kyle versus Paige. It's the beginning of Kyle versus Paige.
So we will see you tomorrow for that. If you want Traders recaps or videos of all of these recaps, go over to Patreon.com.
And, of course, WatchWhatCrapins.com for ticket links and cities and dates and all that for the Mounting Hysteria Tour. We'll talk to you next time.
Bye. Bye.
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