#2972 RHOM S7E11 Part One: Flamencos On The Side of My Face

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Well, hello, everybody, and welcome to Watch What Clappens.

I'm Ronnie, and that is Ben.

Hello, Ben.

Hi, how are you?

Good.

Two nights in a row of me jam jams.

How do you feel about it?

Great.

So good.

I have to say that

last night's episode, what was really fun was that it was the first episode this season that's airing after Orange County.

And so Orange County is in New Orleans.

This show is in Spain.

It's like dual trips, dual peak housewives.

And it was like really great because Orange County was such an amazing episode, but it was like an angry episode.

Like they were all fighting and there's like, there's bitterness there.

So it was fun.

It's always great to go to Miami and they are always so silly and ridiculous and they have fights, but they're so, there's like, they're just petty and stupid.

It just felt like a nice like dessert.

Like we had our main course and we had a dessert.

It felt like a complete meal for me, you know?

Yeah.

He had a little dulce, if you will.

Dulce, as they would say in Spain.

Yeah, this is a great show.

I love it.

We did record this on Friday.

It is Friday right now.

We're recording.

You're probably hearing it on Monday or so because, you know, spreading out the letters.

We don't have anything on Mondays right now.

So this is going on our Monday.

But last week, we put out an episode of Trailer Trash over on our Patreon, which

is a preview of the trailer.

A preview of the preview.

It's a recap of the trailer for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

We've not recorded it yet, but we have by the time you're listening to this.

And let me tell you, the hilarity.

Okay.

What a good time.

I'm so glad that show is back i cannot wait to talk about it again this fall is looking up batch so we're so grateful for that so grateful for you guys for being here if you want this on video go watch it over on patreon and that's where you get all of our videos day after if you don't want to pay that is fine you will see them a week later uh over on our youtube channel for free um but

they're a week later and that does not include bonus episodes sorry um so everybody thanks And bonus episodes also are Patreon as well.

Amazon Live is this Monday, 4 p.m.

Pacific time.

That's where we sell stuff on Amazon, and it's ridiculous and fun.

Join us for that.

And thanks, everybody, for giving us this really fun life to lead because it's been a long fucking day.

We're not even halfway through our day, but we're laughing our asses off.

So thank you.

We love you guys.

Yeah.

Thank you for real.

For real.

Okay, let's get into some Mid Jam Jam

Unfollow or Unfriend Season 7, Episode 11.

We're in Sevilla, Seville, Ceville, Spain.

Ceviche, and it's raining.

Oh, well, look at the weather.

I feel like I'm in Miami.

Like, we brought the rain to Sevilla.

And Marisa's like, wow, we brought the hurricane season.

I wish, wish C were here to put some tape on this radison collection window.

Am I right?

I mean, what do you have to say about dinner the other night?

By the way, this hotel was driving me nuts.

All episode,

it's so small.

It's so small.

Like, are there no more, are there like no glamorous hotels in

Sevilla for these ladies?

I mean, this is a real housewives show.

This is like a, it's actually like a perfectly fine hotel for like normies, but I just want for like a real housewives show.

Like there should be like

grand lobbies and like, I don't know, more than like two blank walls close to each other in their presidential suites.

It's driving me nuts.

Yeah, it's a tiny little place.

But you know, everywhere it's not America.

America like has big things for no reason, you know?

Like the houses in Texas where I live, you've got these doors that are 20 feet tall.

It's like, why do we need 20 foot tall doors in every house?

And why are the ceilings like 50?

Why do you live in the hottest place in the world and you can't cool your house down?

Because the walls are cavernous.

Like they're so high in every house.

Why?

Why are we doing this?

And Sevilla, they're like, listen, this building has been here for 19,000 years.

Okay.

And now it's a radicin.

And

it's like,

this was formerly, this was once the house of the most important flamenco designer in all of Seville.

And now it is part of the Radisson collection.

Did you guys ever know that polka dots were an accident, but now they're popular?

I love that.

I love that too, actually.

I thought that was so cool.

That's really cool.

And I was like, I could be a fashion designer.

Do you know how much shit I spill on myself at eating, like eating at lunch or dinner or whatever?

I'm constantly getting splotches on myself.

And I would love to just make that fashion.

It's like, oh, there's some pizza on your sauce, pizza sauce on your shirt.

Or is it hard men's fashion in 2026

coming at you?

Yeah, that was,

I feel like we could be real innovators in the flamingo space.

Yeah.

Um, I just looked it up, by the way.

I was like, you know what?

I'm worried that I'm taking this like too much on face value from like a random lady on TV.

Like, is this really true that polka dots were like just an error and they just

ran with it?

And the answer is, yes, that is what happened because they had to use low fabric, low-cost fabric.

The

originally OG Flamenco people.

So like when I show up places and people are like, Did you get that on a fashion shoot?

What are you wearing?

You look fucking amazing.

And I was like, it's old Navy because I didn't have any money left over after mortgage.

So, well, that's, and also because it's my favorite store on the planet.

I want to announce this.

Oh, that's fancy.

What are you?

Yeah.

That's

a good one.

Yeah, that's fancy.

I want to step up.

Because like this little polo that I'm wearing here, I just, I, it's very cute.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's all I was.

I was like, can I just want my polo to be acknowledged?

It is really cute.

I'm surprised that I didn't say that earlier.

I was thinking it when we were talking earlier.

I was like, wow, what a cute polo.

Thank you.

Well, the thing was that two weeks ago, I don't know why I'm telling this story now, but I'm in it.

I'm in it.

We're going through it now.

Two weeks ago, I went to the naked gun.

I took myself to the grove.

Ugh, disgusting.

I went to the grove to go go see the naked gun, and I had time.

I mean, the grove is fun, but it's also annoying.

And I had some time to kill.

So I was like, well, you know what?

Let's get a cocky and go to the gap.

Although I didn't really have a cocky, but I went to the gap and I had all these cute polo shirts and I've been wearing them and I'm feeling cute in them.

And I feel like I haven't looked at this really shirt in a little while.

So I'm going to go back and buy more polo shirts.

Oh, wow.

Let everyone get ready.

Here's my polo era.

Polo era.

Yeah, that's pretty cute.

I like it on you.

It's very preppy.

I like your preppy look.

You've been upping your preppy auntie lately, and I think it's good on you.

You know what?

Like a preppy.

Preppy is like

my native look.

I'm from

Westchester, New York.

I'm from Westchester, New York.

I went to school in New Hampshire.

Like, preppy is like my true vibe.

That's my true vibe.

Yeah, babe.

Live it.

I could go to a party.

I could teach Lisa Hoxine a thing or two.

So they start, Alexia and Mary Soul start talking about what a mess last night was.

And we see the clip of Alexia saying, who do you think you are?

And Stephanie's saying, Stephanie Shoji, Shojadji, or whatever.

She's like, oh, big shit.

And I'm Alexia Nepola.

Okay.

Well, you said I had a big head.

I'm Alexia.

Back to the present.

Stephanie is getting glam with Larsa.

And she's like, bitch, why did you say I have a big head?

I have a normal size head.

Like, I really don't like this.

Everybody talking about my big head now.

Did you see the purses that my husband sent me to this presidential suite?

You have a a large head it's okay the celebrities have large heads so is she large headed

i don't know

she's like slightly large head slight i don't think it's like massively large but like a large head is is enviable because all the celebrities have big heads like if you're a famous person you're usually a famous person partially because you have a very large head.

Did you not know that?

What does that say?

No, I didn't know that, but I've got a humongous head and I'm not a celebrity.

That's why, Ronnie, that's why you're basically a star.

Like, that's why people love you.

Basically, I'm a star.

You're basically like a star.

You're like Alexia.

No, it's for real.

Like, it's like when they, there's like, there was some study that like analyzed all these famous people.

And like, there was something about facial symmetry, but also having a large head.

It photographs and it films very well.

And people like it.

And people, you see a large head, you just want to get an autograph, I guess.

Well, maybe eventually one day I'll become famous.

I'll be an actor or something.

You are famous.

No, I'm not.

I've always wanted to be.

Well, someone's better.

So maybe I'll go try it.

Okay.

Why not?

I'll do an old person rewrite of my life.

You should.

Well, you know what?

What you miss, Ronnie, is that when you were on vacation,

Eric Williams was on

the podcast and we were talking about, he is adorable.

And everyone should listen to it.

That's a gay ass podcast.

But we were talking about, like, you know, he's.

He comes from an acting background.

I don't come from an acting background, but I do have a SAG card that I've never used because I got grandfathered into it through some bureaucracy.

So I randomly have a SAG card.

Oh, I thought we were both.

I have a SAG face.

And I basically, we both were like, hey, casting directors, like just put us in a commercial.

We just want to be in a commercial.

And I think you need to join in on the blatant plea and say,

I've got a celebrity head.

I've got a celebrity-ready head.

Put me into a commercial.

I have the giant head, everybody.

Come on.

Do it.

Put me, Ronnie, and Eric Williams in commercials, all in one commercial in separate ones.

Mix and match, do what you will.

But we know there's casting producers out there and we just want to be in a commercial.

Yeah, I would freaking love that.

Okay, let's do it.

But if there has to be one person, it should be Ronnie.

It should be Ronnie because that's.

No, no, we don't.

It's not Sophie's choice.

Let's all do commercials.

I would fucking love that.

That's why I grew a mustache because people are like, well, you know, it's a different look.

No, I didn't.

It's not why I grew one, but it's why I kept one because I got a mustache.

And then someone was like, oh, maybe you'll start working a lot now as an actor because you changed your look.

And that's what happens.

Now, I've never auditioned for anything, but

maybe just being in the sprouts, people will be like, oh my God, who's that bald guy with a giant head and a mustache?

Oh, yes.

We're having a movie about the porn stash.

Come on.

Yeah.

Get on board.

All right.

So anyway, they're talking about big heads.

I think Stephanie's head is not big.

I don't think it looks too big.

But I would say if she feels that it's too big, she should not do helmet hair on purpose because she's like doing that, like, you know, madmen kind of Jackie O helmet head thing.

And it's not doing you anything.

It's very Fisher Price

if you're worried about that.

Yes.

Fisher Price Lego.

It's very Fisher Price.

It's like a, that's like plastic.

I used to have this one Fisher Price.

I'm acting like it.

You're not going to be.

You know, the blue, it was like the lady with the blue.

She had like a dress.

So her figure was like round.

It was like curve in and out a little bit.

And then she had blonde hair.

And she just had that look on her face.

You put her in the bus.

Like, that's kind of like her hair.

That's her vibe.

She is very Fisher Price.

She's a Lego person on a bus hair.

So

we go back to Alexi and Mary Soul, and Mary Soul's like, listen, we're going to make it work.

We're going to get to know each other.

We just all need to get to know her more.

And that's really all it is.

I'm sure everything's going to work out great.

Back to Lars and Stephanie.

Lars is like, Lick, like, I feel like all I know today, like, I feel like it's going to be fun.

Like, because, like, I feel like I'm looking forward to getting a cute flamingo dress.

I love flamingo.

I just want a dress that's pink and his feathers.

I can't wait for it.

I love that they invented flamingos in Sevilla.

So then

a night earlier, Marisol is telling us about that they're going to be going to this boutique.

And I was waiting, but I just want to say right now, after Marisol made this big announcement at the table and they talked about like appointments and putting Lisa in the late appointment, I thought for sure.

there was going to be some massive drama around this.

I was imagining last year, the real house was at Dubai when

Lisa Milan secured all those like local Indonesian dresses and they all had like breakdowns over it.

I was like, oh, we're going to get that again.

I'm looking forward to it.

Never happened.

And I'm a bit disappointed about that.

Yeah, well, and understandably, so

so.

Um, they're all getting ready for this flamenco thing, basically, and remembering the past.

And Stephanie's like, Okay, well, who's in our group?

Because they're splitting up because it's housewives.

And so, the first group is going to be Larza, Mary Soul, and Adriana, and the other group gets Lisa.

And Larsa's like, What a treat like

hate her.

I hate Lisa, like so, like, much, like,

she's a

terrible person.

She's such like a groupie, like.

Groupy, like, like.

Larsa is

she's roiling over the fact that Lisa still is not unfollowed Marcus Jordan.

And Larsa is saying, I love when Lisa says she needs to set boundaries with her friends.

Meanwhile, she shows up like days later.

It's like, you set a boundary on like time,

or you need to, you need to set a boundary on being late so that way you can be on time.

So yeah, showed her.

Yeah, this is very Larsa coded.

I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, she wants boundaries, but then she's late.

I guess the idea is that like, I guess the idea is like, oh, you want to, you want your friends to show up and pull up and whatever, and yet you just show up late.

Like you just don't even care about us.

Like you want us to do things to acknowledge your feelings and then you don't even show up on time.

Like you're late.

I don't care if my friends show up on time.

I I really don't.

And if I'm like standing there waiting for them, but my friends know if they're more than 15 late, I'm doing whatever I was going to do without them.

So if I go to a show and you're late and I got you a ticket and you don't show up for half an hour, you know, late, which has happened recently, I don't get mad.

I just go into the show.

I'm not going to stand out in the rain and wait for you, but like you do you, you know.

This is why I don't like going to,

I've stopped liking going to concerts with people.

I'm literally going to go to see Dave Matthews band.

See, I am in my prepara, going to Dave Matthews' band next week alone because I'm like, I don't want to coordinate about like when you're getting to my place and then we're going to drive down there.

Maybe we'll meet someplace and I'll find you, give you your ticket, or we'll do this.

And then you want to have a hot dog.

And then the show's starting, but you're waiting in the long line because you want to have a hot dog.

I don't want to do any of that.

Every time you're going to be aware of that, somebody wants to go to the hot dog line.

Oh my God.

And the show is about to begin.

I'm like, I don't want to.

And it's like, will you wait with me?

I'm like, no, I will not wait with you.

I'm going to the seats.

And then you're there.

And, like, even though you're there, your friend's not there.

And you're thinking, well, they're going to be late.

And then they're going to like walk in.

They're going to have all their hot dogs and all their sodas and their chips.

And they're going to make it'll just be a pain in the ass.

And then you're like trying to enjoy the song.

Like, do you want some hot dog?

You're like, no, I just want to listen to the song.

Shut up.

Yeah.

I'm here for Dave Matthews, not your hot dog journey, you late ass.

Yes.

So one day earlier,

listen to a 17-minute long jam.

Okay.

Yeah.

So we see all these clips of the ladies being annoyed with Lisa being late and stuff.

And

Hotel Magdalena Plaza.

Stephanie sees Lisa.

I'm just like, I made it.

How are you?

You look so cute.

And Stephanie's like, did you come by train for real?

Like, is that something you really did?

Is that something people do?

Do you have a man that owns the train?

Or was it like a public one that anybody could go on?

That is so sad.

That is so sad.

Yeah, train.

That's crazy.

Hi, like, hi, like, hi, like, hi, this and that, X, Y, Z.

Oh, my God, you made it.

You made it.

I guess, well, with all that time on the train, you had time to unfellow Marcus Jordan by now, right?

Like, we were worried about you, like.

It took, like, so much, like, time to keep following Marcus that you're late.

Well, I have legal matters that need my presence, number one.

But you were just, like, in St.

Bart's, like.

Yeah, I was in St.

Bart's.

And I was elected as a judge, and I had to preside over some court cases there.

So there were legal matters I had to deal with.

And it was also a long weekend and I was with some lawyers and they were helping to represent me with the law things.

St.

Bart's, where everybody goes to talk about legal cases.

What is confusing here?

And so we see

a picture of Jodi and Lisa kissing in St.

Bart's.

And Lars is like, wait, Lon St.

Bart, you'd like crack me up like with your like lies like.

And she goes, yeah, say boss, any more questions?

Sorry, objection.

Because that's what you do in legal cases.

Just like what legal cases does like Lisa have that she can only like solve it in St.

Bart?

Like what's next?

Like doing your taxes in Bali?

Like what's next?

Like I feel like.

Like what's like what's next?

Like

starting an LLC in the Philippines?

Like what's next?

Am I right?

I'm on a roll.

Let's do it.

I'm on a roll.

I've got a lot more in me

What's next like getting her property taxes lowered while she's in Thailand

like like what's like what's next like um getting uh temporary parking passes like when you're in Turkmenistan like

I'm out of places like I'm out of places in America

I'm

surprised I knew about Turkmenistan, to be honest.

Lisa's like, me not making the flight got nothing to do with me being in St.

Bart's.

Okay.

I'm finalizing my divorce.

I was hit with a bunch of legal work, signatures, paperwork, phone calls, sunts, piña coladas.

Not exactly in that order.

Okay.

Life happens.

What I'm gathering is that there was a long weekend and Lisa went to St.

Bart's and then she got back from the long weekend.

So she had to do all this legal stuff before going on the trip, right?

Is that what there's that?

That's that what it is?

I guess that's what she's saying.

Yeah.

But like lawyers, if you're a high-profile case, I think the lawyer will like be available on the weekends.

Just going to say that right now.

Well, and also we learned that she didn't do the paperwork and signatures because later she gets a call from the lawyer that says this is due in an hour.

She's like, How could you tell me I've only got an hour?

I'm like, they probably this is probably the stuff that you were supposed to do before you went on your long weekend, Lisa.

It's like, it's probably the end of the timeline that you were supposed to get it in, you dummy.

What?

So it's so silly.

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to do, there's so much for us to recap that I actually get very stressed out.

And thankfully, I have therapy to turn to.

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So at least, well, anyway, I'm here.

I'm here.

I'm still here.

So

now Adriana and Gertie join the ladies and

everyone sort of gathers.

They're all saying good morning.

Everyone's like, oh, you look colorful and everything.

And Marisol shows up last.

And Julia's like, so we are going to do Stephanie, Larsa, Lisa, Marisol, Adriana, and Goat.

You're going to go shopping now.

Then Gertie, I, Alexia, Kiki, Chicken, go shopping later.

Where's Kiki?

And everyone looks around.

And...

Kiki is missing, but she's coming.

So everybody leaves.

What's that?

Doesn't Kiki show up like a second later?

Yeah.

I don't know, but they're like, we got to wait for Kiki.

Oh, Alexia, don't make me, don't make me go with them.

Go have fun.

Go have fun with the normal people who are sad, sad people.

Go have fun with the people.

Go have fun with non-stars.

It's going to be okay for one day.

So dress group number one goes to the dress place

where they're leaving for that.

And Adriana is like, oh, look how beautiful it is, you guys.

Yeah, exactly.

Wow.

It's almost like God had a cocky and said, let's give some good weather to Savia, right?

Lisa's like, oh, maybe we should buy some walking shoes.

And Larissa goes, maybe you should get a watch.

She says, what?

Yeah, like, we need to get you a great watch.

Because I have one.

I have money.

And Laura goes, oh, my God.

Does it like have the right time?

Like, and Stephanie goes, oh, my God.

It wasn't about money, Lisa.

It's about you not being on time.

Do you understand?

It's like a joke.

Like, she says something about a watch because you're late.

But like, the watch works, though.

No, I know, but the joke is that you're running late.

But like,

why would I get a new watch, though?

Because, okay, I'm not going to explain this to you.

She goes, oh, my God, look, they're selling an agenda right there.

Let's get her an agenda.

She's like, what?

What's that?

Oh, God.

Okay.

You know what?

Let's just go to the fucking store, Lisa.

Lisa has her own version of improv where the tenants of it are, yes, huh?

So they went.

So

they're riding along.

And Kiki, the other group that's not going to the dress store first is going to a market.

Big night for markets on Bravo market visits.

So they go and they look at those vegetables and fruits and vegetables.

It looks great.

It looks amazing.

Julia she goes, I love the fruits and vegetables in Europe.

Smells good.

Okay.

Well, you know, the American apples are holding their heads in shame, I'm sure, right now.

The stinky, disgusting grape smell of America.

I mean, it's fair.

Is it?

Yes.

No, the produce, everything is like, the produce is always so nice in Europe.

It's really like, oh, look at me.

Monjour.

I am French produce and I am much nicer.

First of all, it's lovely.

The apples all have little berets.

And,

you know, the oranges are kind of like, they're just like.

full-figured and beautiful and they just sort of effortless.

They're so small and like puny and like making an effort.

Like in America, we have HGH.

Like we have youth growth hormone vegetables.

Like if you want an orange as big as your fucking head, come to America.

Okay.

I don't want to hear from you.

people.

That's like no steroids injected fruits and vegetables.

So they're walking

around here.

Kiki makes a joke about balls and everything.

Meanwhile, Larsa's the shop and she's like, where's she going?

She's like, Maricel, all I know is that this place better have gorgeous dresses for us.

Otherwise,

I'm gonna...

Need to get Lisa to get a new watch.

I'm sorry, I didn't really know where to go with that one.

what is it like dressmaking in like

new zealand

i'm still workshopping that lisa lisa you should like the dressmaking because since you're moving a lot it's like you're a dress making

so i think you what a dress because you're in a new address

yeah so you're like a dressmaking i didn't make the address i just moved to it it's it's like a joke though lisa like i got money okay never mind.

Never mind.

Like,

so Stephanie's like, Rocio, como stads que bueno verte.

And she's like, Muy vien, manga.

I say, oh, welcome.

So they go in, and Mariso's like, well, before this trip to Spain, Stephanie posted on her Instagram story that it was for her birthday.

So Julie and I have been doing like wizardly things behind the scenes.

You know, she has a presidential suite, has a staircase.

So we've taken out every other step, hoping that maybe she falls.

There's a balcony, and so we've taken out all of the railings.

So, God, who knows?

Maybe it might be her visiting Jesus again day.

You never really know what's going to happen.

Well, this is a very famous flamenco designer shop that actually Stephanie leaked that she loves.

So, we're going to get her a secret dress.

We just have to make sure they can make a flamenco version of a 1961 Jackie O'Chanel suit.

I'm fingers crossed on that one

um so rocio's like we make them hand by hand or no we make them one by one and hand by hand so no two are identical everyone's like whoa that's amazing that's how many dutch faces but somehow we all do end up looking kind of alike

that's how larsa's boobs were formed no two are ever identical

um

so they're just like looking at they're they're looking at all these dresses they're super cool and everything And they're like, there's, we see the polka dots and everything.

And Lisa's like, Rocio, Rocio.

What's the history of flamenco dresses?

The first time Lisa has ever been inquisitive or curious about anything in the history of anything.

Like literally 10 years later, Lisa's first question where she wants to know about something.

She's like, so then the ladies talks about like the history, what we talked about before, about how there was this one person who make all the fabric and then they, there was some error, printing error or whatever, and they wound up with polka dot fabric and they went with it and then everyone was like yay polka dots Yeah, so everybody tries on these dresses and they're pretty and stuff and Mary still is like oh my god I want the white one.

I want a wedding inspiration a wedding inspired dress.

I love getting married.

Hey, honey, Steve, it's me.

Yes, I am still wearing my widow's outfit.

No offense, honey.

Hey, you want to get married again?

How about this time?

We have like a flamenco theme and we'll go to plaza de españa and we'll have another wedding there are you down he's like yeah i guess i'm getting used to it now i'll do whatever you need

steve you still with me hit yourself on the back steve yeah sounds good i'm getting used to it now honey

Oh, God.

Wow.

Steve is like Anthony Quinn keeling over in the movie from 1967.

Am I right, everyone?

So, So, um,

so, uh, by the way, how angry was Adriana that she did not get to tell the story about the polka dots?

Fun fact, polka dots were invented by gypsies in Sevilla.

Boom, Sonya, every morning.

We're getting married again.

So, what happened?

I heard there was drama last night.

And I was just like, yeah, like, I like got to go like to dinner.

Like, and Alexia and like Stephanie got kind of loud.

Nah, you and Alexia were loud.

Come on, I don't believe it.

So we see a flip to that.

Ah, I'm Alexia.

Oh, I'm Alexia.

So Stephanie is like, well, we hashed it out.

But you know, I'm also like really taken aback yesterday when the whole thing ended and like everything was fine.

And,

oh, and I was like, you win, bro.

No, even worse, here's what I was really taken aback by.

And we see a flashback of Barisol after their fight saying, Every day of the week, I will bet on this fucking horse because

she'll bury anyone.

She's a really good fighter.

She'll bury anyone.

And so now Stephanie's like, that was like really mean.

Okay.

Cause no one's trying to bury anyone.

Okay.

No, I wasn't trying to bury her.

She wasn't trying to bury me.

None of us were trying to bury anyone.

So why do you keep saying that we're trying to bury people?

Well, I thought she did excellent.

I'm sorry.

I thought she did very well.

You know, good fight.

I was just saying, but she didn't bury me.

Okay.

And I didn't bury her.

We're not burying each other.

All right.

Well, you know,

you put whatever you want on your ice cream.

really don't care for it.

I like peanut butter plain.

I don't need anything on it.

Okay.

I love Marisol giving like a cinescore to like the fight.

Well, I ranked this.

This movie was an A-.

I would recommend it to anyone.

Four stars on Google, 2-2 on Yelp.

I didn't like the service, but great fight overall, guys.

Yeah.

Stephanie's like, yeah, I don't like it.

I don't like that you said I was buried.

And she goes, okay, well, God, I'm glad you don't feel buried.

You know, it's like if Alexia's is eating chocolate chip ice cream, Marisel will be like, I love chocolate chip ice cream too.

But then like when Alexia is not around, Marisel would just be like, oh, no, I don't really like chocolate chip ice cream.

I was like, wow, that was it.

Thank you for illustrating that.

Can I get some chocolate chip ice cream now?

But you do have her back almost to a fault, Mary Soul.

She was like, all right, ladies, thank you for the advice.

But right now, let's do some more shopping.

Which was very skillful, I thought, because they were ready to have it out.

And Tramarisel is like, no.

You're very boring non-friend people.

I don't care.

Unfortunately, I can't fight with you because Alexia promised she'd buy me a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream later today, and I really don't want to miss that opportunity.

So, I'm just going to skedaddle out of this conversation.

Yeah, I'm done here.

So, now we go to the other women who are in the Mercado de Triana, and

Julia's like, All right, girls, are you ready to emerge into Seville's

culture of colors and tastes?

Here we go.

Okay, so they walk around this market and everything.

And then Alexia's like, she's like, oh, look at those peppers.

Those are like star peppers.

Those are like Alexia peppers.

Oh, beautiful.

Like, pirate, grande, los pimientos aquí.

And Julia is like, I love it.

I just want to smell everything.

And she's sticking her nose and stuff.

So they're looking at stuff.

It's like really nice.

You know, I'm like super jealous because I want to be doing all this stuff as well.

And then they sit down.

And then there's like,

Julia proposes that they get some oysters.

And

Alexia is like, oh, well, you know what?

Oh, you know what, Peter?

The Spanish word for oyster is euphemism for volva because the Spanish love to relate their foods is with sex.

So like Julia really likes vulva.

I mean, I meant oysters, but of course that too.

I mean, that was like a Freudian, like as a star, I almost just said that Julia likes volva, which is hilarious.

Isn't that hilarious, everyone?

That was like Freudian.

That was like Freudian, what just happened right now.

So they get these oysters.

They are gigantic.

They are enormous.

They are huge.

They're like fork and knife oysters.

These are like oysters I would just swallow.

That's a lot.

Those oysters will become famous someday.

They have big heads.

They'll be in a commercial.

They're like mission impossible level oysters.

They're huge.

So

they're like, let's make Kiki do it because Kiki likes to have funny food scenes.

So Kiki, you do it and like look roast out and it'll be hilarious.

It's going to be hilarious.

So Kiki does it and she's like, oh my God.

Oh my God.

Swallow it.

Swallow it.

Swallow it.

Swallow it.

Please.

People are watching.

This is ridiculous.

Like, please don't give us any attention over here.

There's a lady swallowing a giant oyster.

She's never done it before.

Everybody stop looking over here, please.

Please.

Okay, now, Kiki, while you were doing this, I have projected several text messages up on the screens here to show everyone at the Mercado that you said in the past that you have liked oysters and now you haven't.

So Kiki is like, she hates this.

She's like, they found like some canister for her to like puke up the oyster in, et cetera.

And they're like, wow, normally Kiki's really good at swallowing things, but she's not swallowing well today.

I wonder if something's wrong with her.

To like enter the Kiki drama moment, we know.

Although Kiki did make a sexual joke.

So I was like, maybe we're safe.

But she's like, yeah, normally I'm a good swallower, but this was too big for me to swallow.

And like, oh my God, she's not making swallowing jokes by herself to us.

So something must be wrong with her.

And Curtie's like, ah, what's going on here?

And

they show a flashback to show that Kiki's just not herself.

And the flashback is they've arrived in Sevilla and they're in like the van.

And Marisol goes, welcome to Seville.

And Alexia goes, Sevilla is beautiful.

And then Kiki goes, yeah.

And they just said, that's it.

It's like, oh, my God.

She is not rhapsodizing about Sevilla.

So now they're all worried about her.

They're talking about how they're worried.

And Kiki's saying that she's getting back into her groove.

She just needs to pass the storm, but she needs to leave the conversation alone because she's already scared.

And they're like, what?

What?

Share what you want to share.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, okay?

Except swallow oysters.

But we made you do that.

That's, you know, it's fair to say that.

But from now on, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Don't speak.

She's, okay, I'll tell you.

So she tells the story and she's saying there was a thing where a lot of Haitians and a lot of Mexicans and Guatemalans were coming over because Biden made it easy.

So there was a law, like, if you have family members in those countries, you don't have to go through the whole process.

You can just do a paper.

And if you can be the support system for your family, you can bring them over.

So she thought, well, I have a good job and I should help as many people as I can.

So she was bringing some cousins in that she knew had no hope.

And it was five people, which is crazy.

I mean, that's a lot to take on because you have to support these people, you know?

But she brings, she's, she brings these cousins on, but like, then more and more family members are like, like, bring me, bring me, bring me, because, you know, like things are dire in Haiti.

And all these people want to like be, she had to eventually say like, no, I can't do this anymore.

I can't keep, I can't support all of you.

So she had to draw a line and then people were mad.

And she has some asshole cousin who's like, I'm going to kill you, like gave her a death threat.

She had to move.

It was so bad.

She actually had to move because of it.

And then her dad finally stepped in, which I can't believe the dad took so long.

Like it should have been right away.

The dad stepped in.

And so she'd been like preoccupied with a lot of anxiety about this.

And she's only now starting to, you know, get things like, you know, get things, like she's starting to like recover.

And it is what's funny about this.

This is not funny, but what's funny is how like.

Lars, but with Larson and Lisa, it's like, why aren't you unfollow Marcus Jordan?

And meanwhile, you have Kiki here dealing with like an international crisis, a family crisis, death threats, murder, things that like tie into like American policy and all this stuff.

And it's like, yeah, but like, this is still family Marcus.

Yeah, I mean, it's so crazy.

And it's, it's pretty amazing how Kiki stays so funny and so fun on this show.

And she's got the dire, the most dire storylines every season.

I mean, really, if you think about it, the stuff she's talked about has been pretty, you know, serious.

Seriously.

And she still like bounces right back and like can hang.

And it's, you know, she doesn't get enough credit, Kiki, I think, on this show.

100 i mean she's really just so she's just like so great like season after season so she tells this whole story and it's like very sad and and then they're relating because you know like pretty much everyone on this cast is like either immigrant or first generation and so they they can relate to these sort of stories and you know um

When Diallo was subbing in for you,

he mentioned something about the show that has like really stuck with me that was so profound, which is that like, this is a show where almost for almost everyone on the cast, English is their second language.

And it is actually, if you think about that, that is such an amazing thing with this show.

Like, everyone in this cast

has come from

a different country or a different background.

And I just think that is so fascinating.

And so, when you do see these, these stories bubble up on the show,

I actually just love it because I just feel like it also reminds us that, as wacky and silly, and effervescent as the show is, there's like a huge amount of, there's a huge amount of like

backstory to all these people and how they got here and given that everyone has backstory and i just feel like this is a unique like uh show and that it's like in in many ways not to get too like academic but like that it's really cool that is against the backdrop of of all these people you know having come from different places and walks of life and arriving here in miami yeah

So they talk about the immigration policy and

yes.

I have nothing to add.

No,

that's just my thought.

Like, it just makes me, I think about it.

Like, I love that the show makes me think about this once in a while.

That's really cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where else do you see storylines like that?

Like, okay, so I'm bringing in people and trying to help as many as I can.

And now they're threatening to murder me and I have to move my house.

Like, what the fuck?

Like, what?

Not happening on Orange County.

Yeah.

So

definitely not.

She's starting to feel a little bit better.

And her dad, you know, stepped in, like you said.

And Alexia is like, you know, I know Kiki's a warrior.

That's why she's my kind of friend.

But you know what?

I love that she's opening up and she's sharing this with us.

We should make her eat another oyster immediately because that shit was funny.

That shit was funny.

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Would now be a great time to mention the latest Todd Todd news.

Did you see Todd's video from today, this morning?

No, what is it?

Well, everyone,

if you were missing Todd and his famous addresses to the camera to clear things up, congratulations.

There's a new one in store for you.

I watched, I think, like two or three minutes of it.

And then I was like, this should be wrapping up soon.

And I saw there were still like four or five.

I was like, I can't do this.

But from what I saw, this is what it was.

Hello.

I am Todd napola i am here to address everything one of the worst things that i ever did in my entire life was participate in the real housewives of miami i thought it would be a fun thing to do and the woman that i love does it but i realized these people just want to slander me adriana the producers the castmates all they want to do is take something and lie about it and turn it into a story at my expense and i was okay with that you know i i tried to do i tried to participate in it but then all they would do was make up lies about me not having a lot of money well I just bought a shopping center for 16 million dollars does that sound like someone who doesn't have money to you anyway I had to come to the difficult decision to leave my beautiful and wonderful wife because I could not live with this show and she couldn't live without it.

So I had to make a difficult thing.

And that was fine.

I wasn't going to say anything.

I was going to let it go on.

The producers have to do this.

They had to make a story.

I was okay with being the story.

But what I was not okay okay with was when Peter went on TV and said I was bad to Frankie.

Let me tell you something.

There's only two people who have ever cared for Frankie more than Frankie himself.

Alexia and Frankie's biological father who by the way does not get enough for credit for doing all these things.

He takes him out for baseball on the weekends.

But outside of those two people, I have spent every single waking hour of the past seven years caring for Frankie.

I love that boy.

I wake up in the morning and have coffee and I talk with Frankie.

And at night, I talk with Frankie.

I talk with Frankie at different times of the day.

I love that boy.

So for Peter to even say something like that, I just couldn't stand by any longer.

I had to set the record straight.

And I was like, okay.

Oh, my God.

That's exhausting.

Is this all written down?

I don't know if there's a transcript.

I don't think there is.

Oh, so you were just making all that up from memory?

I just made that up.

That's all written down.

Jesus Christ, Todd.

Also, I love that Todd skirts around it and blames everybody else for starting these stories, but not Alexia.

Alexia is the one coming onto TV sobbing and saying you're a narcissist and then throwing a narcissist party in your honor to talk about what

you are.

It was to celebrate Greek gods and goddesses and Australian influencers.

And saying, please, girls, don't let me get back with this man.

We don't matter.

He's terrible.

He's horrible.

I mean, that's Alexia.

And also, it's funny that Alexia is calling him a narcissist over and over again when she wouldn't quit the show for love, which is kind of narcissistic.

Although, I would say, don't you dare quit the show for love.

You know, get rid of that.

Don't you dare.

Yeah, I think that was a smart thing.

You should never give up your career for a man.

I'm just saying because it was a,

it's something about her being a star on TV that she chose the stardom over

the man.

But guess what?

You know what?

You had the stardom first, the man came second.

So, the man, you're going to come just how you came chronologically,

second.

That's right, Todd.

That's right.

So, that is the Todd update that

felt like a nice palate cleanser after Kiki's death threats from Haiti storyline.

So now time to do, well, then we have another.

Well, we have a nice pivot here in the show because Alexia is saying, not only as Kiki's good friend, but as my parents coming here as immigrants, I can relate to her situation.

And then Julia says, on that note, Carolos, we have a fitting to go to.

It's like, on that note?

On the note of

their death threats against me from my own cousin?

Well, on that note, let's go try on flamenco dresses.

I was like, sure.

If that's going to be your transition, then

by all means, transition away.

Yeah.

So, picture time, and Julia's like, are you going to post this picture on Instagram?

Because you unfollowed me on Instagram.

And Gertie's like, oh, that was, I don't even know why I would do that.

Come here.

Give me a hug.

Give me a hug.

Give me a deep, deep hug.

And Alexia is like, oh, by the way, Lisa also needs to unfollow marcus by the way and uh we see flashbacks to um larissa talking about that and everything and um so then more just like walking around the city having fun etc going to the cobblestone seat uh street and lisa is like god how you walk into those diletto heels on the cobblestone larissa didn't you get the memo god cobblestone i know how to walk like girl walk like walk baby girl like

Mary Soul take us to get ice cream so that possibly I can say you only ordered that kind of ice cream because Alexia ordered that kind of ice cream so I can make my earlier statement make sense at an ice cream shop she's like all right all right I'll sign some ice cream for you and a little blam for moi honey say cocky and ice cream

so they go and they get ice cream which looks delicious and then of course uh this was so funny so they walk into an ice cream store and stephanie goes

which means, do you have ice cream?

Girl.

No, this is where they sell Buicks.

It's nothing but a glass case filled with ice cream.

That seems like a Larsa question, quite frankly.

Do you eat ice cream-like?

Well, maybe, maybe she thought it was only gelato and she was like, do you have ice cream?

No, that's too much credit.

Too much credit for her.

Yeah, maybe.

So Larza

gets a cone, an ice cream cone.

She starts licking it.

She's like, Mary saw, like, does this look like I feel like sexual?

Like,

she starts fillating the ice cream.

She starts like putting the ice cream between her toes and then like deep throating the cone.

It's like, okay, Larza.

Wow, when I saw her licking that ice cream cone, I was like, wow, what's going on here?

It's like Carrie Grant with a cigar.

Am I right, everyone?

Oh, Lord.

All right, we're going to go back to the hotel.

Julia just

set up something called spiritual flamenco, which should be interesting.

All right.

It's basically

stomping on my head and calling it spiritualism.

I'm assuming is what this is going to be.

Let's get to it.

They're like, oh, we were supposed to wear something flowy or something.

Like, Like, flowy, I don't have anything flowy.

I have nothing that's flowy.

That's ridiculous.

You're all fired.

You can't fire us.

You're not our boss.

Okay.

So then now the other group goes shopping for flamenco dresses.

And it's just, you know, they're trying on different things.

They all look.

cute and nice and pretty and they're all enjoying it and they're all saying well i like this one i like that one and everything

and julia's like how good does it alexia how good do you feel to be out of miami in sevilla and alexia's like oh so good.

When I travel, I disconnect.

You know, I talked to Frankie and I like that.

Like, I think like two times I talked to him and then, you know, texted with Todd and then we FaceTime and then the three of us Zoomed together.

And then we then did another Zoom with Peter and then we did one just with Peter and then Peter and Frankie together.

Then Frankie.

And then I did like Todd.

Todd, he went to Starbucks.

So I zoomed in with Todd on going to Starbucks.

I just love being disconnected.

It's so good.

Yeah, I even talked to Todd.

And actually, he just like texted.

Like, he's always texting me.

Like, good morning.

Good morning.

He's like, bueno sias, whatever.

And it's like, it's so romantic.

And it's like, like, so severely

disconnects you with Todd?

Well, no, I've always been connected to Todd.

You know what connects me to Todd?

Todd.

Okay, that's it.

Like, that's it.

But you're physically away from Miami, so you could feel him more or you could feel him less.

So what is it you're physically now away from him?

What do you feel now?

She's like, I'm feeling him more, you know, because like, look, I'm wearing my ring again.

I'm wearing my ring again.

It's like he's right here.

Like, I wish I could be wearing his ring in front of Frankie because that would like make it more real.

but like yeah julie julia is like trying so hard like the whole point of this trip is to get alexia away from america so that she'll like not think about todd and alexia's like i'm thinking about todd more than ever before like god wow this trip has been so great to bring me closer to todd julia's like um

let me tell you what i've got i've got location turned off of my heart Okay, my heart doesn't my you can't if you go and find my it's not gonna say my heart because there's no location.

Okay

Guess what?

Even though I'm far far from Todd, I stuck a air tag in his shoe, so I feel very close to him now.

Um, so then the producer is asking her, Um, why are you wearing your ring again?

She goes, Um, because I'm still married, maybe that's why, like, what a crazy question.

That's like nuts.

So, um, then we go back to Larsa and uh, Stephanie, Lisa, all the other girls inside, and Larsa's like, oh my God, like, I just feel like Alexia, like, she, like, does not like say anything about like Todd like anymore, like I feel like yeah, well the last update I have was the night before the trip He took her to New York and they had a wonderful weekend

She was in New York with him like yeah, well she was with him.

She's happy.

She's good now.

It's like the honeymoon phase again like yeah, well when she's not good She's not easier to be around it gets unpleasant, you know.

Let's look at all right.

Let's look at a clip package of her being unpleasant.

Look at her.

She was so unpleasant.

Look, she's crying, crying in front of the gaze at the restaurant.

You know what?

It's just terrible lars is like well

if todd and alexia get back together like you do realize like you lose alexia right like

because stop stop that i'm saying well i'm sent it once i'll say it again if those two end up together i'm gonna end up with cement shoes on the bottom of the miami river

okay listen you know why i'm never gonna see todd again because alexia tells me where she's going and i don't go there

well well i feel like what's that

Oh, I made a joke.

I was waiting for the audience to laugh.

Oh, sorry.

It's just me.

All right.

All right.

There you go.

Well, I feel like it's like really important for your friends, like, to know that they like have your back.

But, like, I want to be there for Alexia.

Like, I'm so there for people.

Like, that's who I am.

I'm like such a good friend to everyone.

Like, did anyone ask Lisa if she's unfollowed my ex-boyfriend?

Since I'm such a good friend to you, like, since I've done things like be friends with you and such and XYZ and this and that.

Is anyone doing the same for me, like?

Oh, wait, did she unfollow him?

I don't think she like unfollowed him, like, and by I don't think so.

I mean, like, I just checked like five times today, and she's still like following me, like, five, five, not what I feel.

Like, well, then I'll say, say something if it bothers you.

Well, did you like what?

Like, what am I supposed to say?

Hey, there she is, Lisa.

Like, did you like, I feel like, everyone follow Marcus?

No, no,

but like, are you like planning to, or like, I feel feel like, no.

Like,

I don't know if I'm going to.

It depends on if he's on Traders again.

I'm waiting to see what her star goes.

But like, you told me like you were going to.

Like, you don't like Alexia.

Like.

Yeah, but then we got into all this, you know, stuff.

And you've been like not so great to me.

Oh, I've been not so great to you?

Really?

Like, I've been like not so like great like to you.

Like to you, like, I'm feeling like.

I want to talk about it here on the street.

We're right in front of the ice cream place.

It's too scary for them.

I don't want to do this right here.

Okay.

No, but like, what have I done to you that's like not so great then?

I don't want to do this.

Okay.

I need to collect my thoughts.

I got a lot of thoughts.

They need to be collected.

I left a few in St.

Barth, so I got to take a plane back there to get some.

There's one, I left a thought on the train, too.

Oh, my God.

It was such a good thought.

So I just need to collect them all and then we can talk about it another time.

I don't want to do the scene right now.

But like you told me you were going to, and then you told Alexia like you were going to too, Lisa.

So like, why are you going to

be able to do that?

Including like Alexia

for a lot of unspecified things happened with us.

I I can't articulate right now, so I got to think of what they are.

I got to come up with some things, okay?

I can't just like do a scene, okay?

I have to work with Jodie.

We've got to come up with some examples.

Talk to Chat GPT and some laughs.

But like it sends a message.

Why am I mad?

But like it sends a message that you don't care about me.

Like, you know what?

Like, I will never like talk to you again.

Like, I would never like acknowledge you again.

Like, because like publicly, like?

Oh, God.

All right, girls.

Can we just,

this is not good.

Leana, Lisa, Lisa, just on follow

Marcus already, okay?

Yeah.

And she's like, trust me, you were like, you were like not missed yesterday.

Like, no one even cared.

Like, someone was like, where's Lisa?

And then everybody's like, eh, Lisa, she's so stupid.

Like, she's probably somewhere following somebody stupid someplace.

Like, who even cares?

Like, we all ordered drinks.

Then we're like, ha ha ha, who's Lisa?

Like, no one cared.

Yeah, you were not missed at all.

Leave me alone.

You weren't missed at all yesterday.

Best believe that.

Or maybe I should say worst believe that.

Cause you're the thing that's the worst thing to believe in.

And Lisa's like, whatever.

You know what?

I still follow Marcus because he's a better friend to me than she is.

It's like, you know what?

I guess you're just like a groupie like, because you used to follow Pippin and now you follow Jordan.

Like, you're a groupie.

It's all good, groupie.

Yeah.

you're like the worst kind of groupie the kind of groupie that doesn't even have sex with him like i did lisa's like what groupie you dated him you only did you're like a frigid groupie like you frigid groupie

you're like a groupie that can't get past like the metal things outside of mass square garden but like the real groupies can go through that and into the tunnel and get to hang out backstage and then like eat like the little like um cheese and meats that they have in the reception area for when the athletes come out but you have to stand outside.

And when you get hungry, you have to go to a hot dog vendor that's like down the street.

And then you have to go find your place in line again by the metal grates.

That's sad for you.

Does Marcus even have groupies?

He's not a sports star.

Is he?

He's just like related to somebody.

Like, I don't even think that counts.

Yeah, it does not count.

No.

So I love that Lisa pointed out.

She's like, oh my God, this girl who's always associated with an athlete, a rapper, the Kardashians, like no bigger groupie than Larza Pippen.

I mean,

what in the clout?

Thank you.

Now that said, Larza sucks, but also you should unfollow Marcus.

You should unfollow.

What the hell?

You guys just made up.

You should do it as like a gesture that you want to move forward.

Like, why are you, what, yeah, I mean, the fact that she is still following Marcus at her, like, or just get like a burner account or something.

But, like,

yeah, this is, I think it's shitty of Lisa at this point because she's made a request and you're just being a dick about it at this point.

Yeah.

So now

Lisa is going off to Mary Sol in the lobby.

She's like, she just came at me.

She's like, well, you shouldn't follow him.

Okay.

Well, someone's being an asshole.

I'm not going to do as they say.

Well, someone at some point needs to move the needle here.

All right.

Someone's got to do something.

It's not going to be resolved right now.

All right.

And Audrey's like, I got to pee.

Like, this is so boring.

Like, I love Adriana because none of this drama involves her.

And she is so bored when it's not involving her.

It's like, I'm going to behave on one trip.

And God, it's going to be the worst trip of my life because it's so boring.

Yeah, yeah seriously so um Lisa's like so you weren't missed you weren't missed last night like what she said I wasn't even missed that's crazy well I mean now you're just being mean to each other no like I'm literally not actually saying anything to her anymore okay she's being mean to me she's calling me a groupie she called me multiple names I wrote it down right here so for instance she called me a groupie she called me a lady with legs and arms I hated that one she called me a grouper which I don't even know what what that is.

It's a fish, I think.

Well, that's not very nice.

She said I was group think.

I don't get that.

Well, that's a psychological principle.

When a lot of people are together, they sort of like move the needle on what's logical.

And by the end, they get to some other place where they're thinking that something's normal and it really isn't.

They just all convince themselves that I'm not even following anymore.

I don't like this.

I'm not happy.

Why would she even call me Grappa?

Like, what the fuck is that?

All right.

You know what?

Now I think she's just trying to think of words that she's heard before.

All right.

I want to go to bed.

It's not normal to take notes.

Okay.

yes i'm taking notes i'm writing every word down look at this one i can't even that's not a word it says

grapple grappled

no it doesn't yeah it does all right spell it for me

b no you're on i'm going to bed i'm going to wait wait wait look at this look at this it's underwear yeah it's food of the loom and she circled the one in the middle and said you the grapes yeah

unacceptable

all right let's get ready for some spiritual feminine call messes ethos okay you need it

yeah okay i'm like i'm going back to my room okay i'm not a stenographer or anything like that and i'll give you about five minutes to figure out what stenographer means okay

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