#2969 RHOM S7E10: Spain’t Misbhavin’

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Hello, and welcome to Watch Watch Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben, Ben Mandelker specifically, and joining me today is a wonderful person who I would always bring on my private plane.

It's Ronnie Carom.

Hi, Ronnie.

How are you?

Shoja.

Shoja.

Shoma.

Shoma.

Shoma.

Sorry.

Shoma.

Shoma to you, Ben.

You know what Shoma stands for?

Stupid Housewives of Miami Airplanes.

That's funny.

I thought it was like a new shalom, like shalom, shalom,

showma the money.

Um, so we are here to talk about the first episode of the big cast trip to Sevilla on Real House Was of Miami, a hilarious episode going forward.

Miami is going to be airing on a new night Thursdays.

And so our recap of it is going to go up on Mondays.

So keep an ear out for it then.

uh and there's a brand new miami actually gonna air tonight so uh that's gonna be we've got back-to-back miamis happening very excited for that uh be sure to join us on patreon patreon.com slash watchworld crap ins we have weekly bonus episodes we also have crap ins on demand where you can watch us stream these recaps on el intraneto so uh join us there we would love to have you there or don't do whatever you'd like to see you there we would love to see you come on by so this episode of Miami takes a place in Sevilla, or as they call it in Sevilla, Seville.

Which I found interesting.

I don't know why that kept bothering me the whole time, but

every time someone in Sevilla said, hello, welcome to Seville.

I was like, well, that's interesting because everybody else on the show is telling me I have to pronounce it Sevilla.

Is it because they are just catering to Americans and they're like, we know you're going to fuck it up.

So

well, I was excited

to go to the city where Cadillacs were born.

Cadillacs.

No.

Wow.

Oh.

I believed you.

It took me a minute.

Sorry.

No, Cadillacs are from Michigan.

It's Cruella's sister city.

Okay.

It's where the first barber was ever invented.

It was in Seville.

Yes.

But actually, Seville looked beautiful, and I really want to go now.

I want to go to Spain.

I've never been to Spain.

I am ready for my Spanish Spanish adventure.

So let me tell you, that place looked gorgeous.

And the only thing that I think it really lacked was air conditioning because I did not see any air conditioning slots.

And that's the first thing I look for when I look at vacation trips.

I'm like, where is the air conditioning vent?

Could I travel to this country?

Where is it?

I have to say, Radisson Collection, because they were like, oh, we're staying at Radisson Collection.

Look at the Radisson Collection, Radisson Collection logo.

I have to say, we've seen a lot of presidential suites on Bravo over the years.

This was not a very impressive presidential suite.

This was basically like a high, this is like a Hyatt house.

Like, this is like, there was like a little foyer and a bedroom.

I was like, what is happening?

I understand in Spain or in Europe in general, hotel rooms are always smaller.

But I mean, what presidents are you putting in those suites right now?

Come on.

I don't think they respect the presidency in Sebastian.

Okay.

They're like,

no, we don't like presidents here.

It's like the real suite is the mayor's suite.

You know, that's like the big ornate one.

I was like, these were weak ass presidential suites.

Also, I have to say this.

I had such a strange reaction.

I had lots of really strange takeaways from this episode.

We've also seen over the years many, many, many private planes on Bravo all the time.

And every time I see them on a private plane, I'm like, yeah, sure, looks fun, whatever.

You see them.

I always feel like it looks a little cramped, in fact, but you know, I know private, flying private, it's got to be better.

This was actually the first time they flew private.

And I was like, I would like to to fly private someday.

Like, because maybe because it was just four of them.

Well, they're like

a plane.

No, but like,

I would really like to fly private.

That is crazy.

Crazy.

I'm praising myself for the comments.

I have a hot take.

Flying private looks amazing.

But this one kind of looked like the best one I've ever seen.

It was just.

four people.

I think it was because they were sitting at a table and they had a giant spread of like cheese and crackers and wine.

And I was like, this looks so fun because it wasn't normally when they fly private, they're on these little seats and it's small and they're always like sitting, they're sort of stand sitting on the seats over like the edge of them talking to each other.

And I'm always like, that looks like a little annoying.

But this one, they were just sitting at a table eating snacks.

And I thought.

And they had beds when they went to lie down on the beds.

I like that too.

But I look at private planes.

I'm like you.

I mean, I normally think of them as like John Denver died, you know, or like, um, you know, Lou Diamond Phillips died on on that in

that movie, La Bamba, or like JFK Jr.

You know, I think about people that we've lost in private planes.

So that scares me.

But then I realize I'm an addictive person who rides Ovespa and I'm like, get over it.

You can ride this.

But also looking at this one, I did think it looks nice, but it also just looked like the old man balls you have to guzzle to get that.

And I was like, this is not as nice.

I didn't like it.

And the whole thing's like, show my show my bangs.

You want to show my bags.

I was like, all I can see is you guzzling old man balls.

That's all I can see.

Like, sorry, I don't want to be on this plane.

It makes me uncomfortable, you know?

Like an earned plane, I'll go on an earned plane.

But I feel like Katie from Vanderpump Rules when she didn't want to go on Lala's plane because like she blew some guy to get on that plane.

I feel like Katie, I'm like, I'm not getting on that plane.

But then I would get on the plane and I'd be like, I love this plane.

You could smell Masud's pubes.

But I have to say, I think despite that, I think, you know what it was?

I I mean, they were being so stupid, putting on like stupid lighting and dancing, having a dance party.

But then there was part of me that thought, that's wild that you can do this on a plane.

Like I know on private planes, the rules are different in terms of like being like in seatbelts and moving around and all that stuff.

But I'm like, that's wild.

But that being said,

like, what happens with turbulence?

Because I know I can just be, I will be sitting in my seat on a regular plane with my seatbelt strapped and like that random turbulence that hits out of nowhere.

Like, oh shit.

Like, if you were doing that and you were not in a seatbelt and you also had like a giant thing of like grapes and charcuterie in front of you that's just getting everywhere so

yeah

yeah i was wondering how you were feeling watching that because you're very very into safety like i've driven you a couple of times and when i'm pulling out of the i'm one of those people like pulls out of the driveway and starts putting on my seat well seatbelt you know kind of gets ready as i move along like if i was a woman i'd be putting on the lipstick because i was driving you know i'm like that and you're very much like why isn't your seatbelt on why isn't it on right now we are pulling out I'm like, I'm putting it on, girl.

Give me a, give a boy a break.

Like, no, this is what the Ford driving is about.

I don't like your seatbelt policies.

I don't like how slow it takes you to put on your seatbelt when you're pulling out of the, out of the, out of wherever we're pulling out.

That seatbelt should be on and it should be ready to go.

And you don't like that I put it on, I don't put it on in the back seat.

I hate that.

I know it makes you crazy, but I don't feel like that's the law.

And you know what?

I'm still, I'm old enough to remember when they passed the seatbelt laws and when people went crazy.

And they were like, How dare you?

And also, I'm from Texas, you know, but they're like, How dare you tell me what I can do in my own car?

You can't tell me to put on no seatbelts.

People there weren't even seatbelts in the back seat, I don't think back then.

I think that was the grandma Sylvia.

My grandma Sylvia hated putting on a seatbelt because, you know, when she was, you know, she came up with the car.

Like back then, there weren't seatbelts.

And I'm not even joking.

I mean, she was born in like like 1917 okay so she was like she she was so when the idea putting on seatbelt was like well we didn't ever have to do this before but i'm like we

like but like i am like buckle up it's the law that's what i raise was raised with i'm like i want that seatbelt and i want it on i want it all over me get that belt all over my body that belt all over me yeah yes belt me up give me that belt give me some laws well you know remember yeah

this episode seat belts the real house was the miami seatbelt buckle engine buckle your seatbelts it's time to recap yeah we're packing everybody's packing to go and alexia is packing with frankie and she's like you know my favorite part of going to places where it's a little colder than miami i like to go in these boots and i like to say i'm wearing these boots and you didn't compliment them in front of frankie how could you

how could you do frankie

And he looks at the boots and he goes, horrible, horrible.

Well, Todd didn't like them either.

He's like, you see, thank you.

So then we see Gurdy packing and then Lisa's packing shoes.

And she's like, these girls are going to be jealous.

Just wait until they see my looks.

I win.

I win.

I win.

And we see what she's packing, and it's just like a pinky-sized red dress.

Well, I think you have to get to Seville in order for you to win the competition first.

So we'll circle back to that.

So

the airport women arrive at the airport.

The commercial women arrive at the airport.

And Alexia is like, I live in Spain from 17 to 23 in Madrid.

That's more of a metropolitan city, like New York.

And Seville is more like an elder city.

So it's like the Mary Soul of cities, you know.

And I know Americans sometimes call Sevilla Seville, but I just can't with that.

Like, it's Sevilla.

Porfao.

Adriana just pops up and says, you know what I call Sevilla?

But dry bony knees city.

Dry bony Kniece.

Bony knees.

Drive, drive, dry knees.

Hey, hey, Mariso, could you take us to the Dry Knees Museum?

So Lisa is running late.

She's 45 minutes late.

Actually, not 45 minutes late.

It's 45 minutes to boarding time.

And they're like, where is she?

It's an international flight.

You can't just like pop up at the last second, right?

And Gritty's like, I mean, she knows we got to be there two hours at the minimum.

I mean, look at this.

So we get another Lisa running late montage, which they love to, they love to bust out that montage multiple times a season.

And this has been happening for a few seasons because how annoyed has production been?

You know, we were talking, when we were on Jeff Lewis last week, he told us that Lisa, I guess, what, Lisa's call time was late.

And even if Lisa's call time is late, you know

production has had it with her.

And I mean, you can tell production has had it with her this episode.

They are roasting her the entire time.

Yeah.

Um,

so there's going to be a point of contention, guys.

Okay.

And Alexi's like, what does she think?

They're going to stop the plane for her?

Come on.

She probably does.

And then it's two hours later, and we're in Stephanie's private plane.

And Larsa Adriana are boarding.

Stephanie finally gets there.

She's late.

And she's like, hello.

Shake my hand, please, driver.

That's right.

Sergei.

Okay, first the Birkin.

This is a Birkin that carries all of the other Birkins.

It's seventy thousand dollars

have you ever noticed the way she laughs does that she does a silent laugh but we have a friend who makes this exact same face her name rhymes with matey mazorla and she laughs like this

it looks it looks just like her it looks just like her it cracks me up that's the most likable thing about stephanie is that little laugh Crap is on demand exclusive.

Stephanie's

Stephanie.

I mean that was her last last name?

Shoujai laugh.

You're so right.

She laughs exactly like Maidi Bazorla.

So

yeah, she gets on, she has her thing and then she gets on board and they're like,

no, no, no.

Take off your shoes before you step on the cashmere.

Because there's like a cashmere rug, I guess, which

listen, we know you're rich.

We know you've got a private plane and all that stuff.

Why do you have a cashmere carpet or rug?

That ain't her.

That's her husband's company plane.

It's got Shuma all over it.

He has it because it's fancy.

You take clients around on there.

But that's not rug material.

Okay.

Be luxurious within reason.

Like be logically luxurious.

Don't be stupid luxurious.

Yeah.

And she's like, you know what they say, girls?

Departure time is whenever Stephanie shows up.

Yeah.

Let's get some drinks on.

Let's get some drinks on.

So they're going and making drinks.

I think the reason why I really liked this private plane, I'm just going to talk about this entire episode.

I think the the reason why I liked this private plane is because they were acting in this private plane.

They were, if they were just like in someone's kitchen.

And I never really saw a private plane space feel like a kitchen.

They were making cocktails.

And obviously, we know you can make cocktails on a plane because that's what flight attendants do all the time.

But there was something about them grabbing the booze and pouring drinks and dancing and lights.

I don't know.

I was like,

I was like, I think I want a private plane now.

I think I want this experience of my life.

Can we make that a person?

He loves rules.

Patreon goal.

You're a person who has told yourself that you love rules and you defined yourself, you've defined your life by rules, and you're seeing what it's like to live without rules.

And you're getting turned on.

You're getting a no-rule boner.

You're going to become,

you're going to become a fucking renegade

anarchist

after this episode.

I will, I will totally be an anarchist, which is ironic because

during the Spanish Civil War, anarchists were part of the mix.

So

in case you want, I've been playing a board game about the Spanish Civil War lately a lot.

And

you can play as anarchists.

And I've learned that I'm learning things about what went on in there in the 30s.

So fun times, everyone.

So Stephanie is like, I've never been this super social, full of like, you know, full of friends type of girl, you know, and it's just been like crazy.

Look at all these lights flashing and we're partying, but I'm trying to do new things.

And I mean, how bad can it be, right, guys?

I am fun.

I am Stephanie Shoja.

I am paying for my friendships right now, which I will deny doing later.

When she said, I've never been the super social, full of friends type of girl, I was like, oh, you don't say.

I can't tell at all.

Can't tell.

You seem like the person that people naturally gravitate to.

Like, for instance, your sisters.

Yeah.

You just seem like you have so much fun with women.

And she's like, guys, show my bags.

I've got show my bags here.

Everybody gets one.

They've got LED masks and bus bench posters with my face on them.

Just if you want to put them anywhere in your house, that would be okay.

And what else does she give them?

She gets pajamas.

Pajamas.

No, not pajamas.

She gets pajamas, not pajamas.

And

Larsa is like annoyed for some reason.

She's like, I mean, who does Stephanie like think she is like?

Oprah like?

You get a gift like.

You get a gift like.

Everybody's getting a gift like X, Y, Z and this and that.

Like, I'm like, Larsa,

when

you're

what, when did you not stop liking that?

I feel like that's Larsa's MO in life is to receive gifts.

Yeah.

Um, so Adriana's like, I could get used to this life, it's a tough life, but someone's got to live it.

I'm grateful you chose me to live it.

Thank you for choosing me.

She's like, oh, it is Kiki who chose you to live this life, not me, not me.

Don't forget, hilarious callback to

Adriana and being mean to me.

I was concerned, honestly.

Are you guys good?

Are you guys fighting or anything?

Like, what's going on?

You guys want to fight right now?

No, no fighting.

It's like, because I feel like you feel like a certain way.

Is that true?

Do you want to put on my pajamas first before we discuss this?

No, maybe there's like a little hiccup, but I thought she had chosen to come without me.

Atriana, if I would have a private plane, I would invite you on private plane and give you gut pajamas.

But I do not have a private plane, not my plane, not my rules, and not my place to make an invitation.

So, the producer asks her Julia, like, did a thought cross your mind to not take the private plane to be with Adriana on a commercial flight?

And Julia's like, the answer is

goat.

No, wait, I'm sorry.

Wrong question.

The answer is no.

And I think the answer should be no.

I'm sorry if someone invites me, like, this is not middle school.

No, people don't have to hold hands on different flights.

I think it was very nice of Stephanie to invite Julia.

And I don't think that there was any obligation to like, maybe if it was like a husband and a wife situation, maybe if you had like a Katie and Tom situation, maybe there'd be a consideration.

But honestly, if

if Dom got, if Dom, if you got invited onto a private plane and I was on commercial, I would be like, go have fun, have a blast.

That is a lie.

Sit there.

I would sit there in the lie.

I would sit there in the plane.

I'd be like, fuck them, fuck them all.

But it doesn't matter if I'm mad.

You guys should still do it.

You guys should never, never stay back because of me.

Let me be mad.

Let me be Katie, Katie Maloney on the plane, because ultimately it's not right for you to give up a private plane experience for my crusty, angry ass.

Oh, Ben, I would totally give it up for you.

Don't worry.

Whatever happens, you're the private plane is you.

Silence that shows.

Well, I wish I could make it brought everyone, but it was really hard.

I couldn't invite Gertie.

And speaking of Lisa, do you even think she made it on the plane, you guys?

She's late all the time.

I'm such a part of this group.

Look at me with girlfriends.

I don't know, like, but like, I'm just going to be cordial with her.

Like, because Lisa hasn't even unfollowed my ex-boyfriend, like, Marcus Jordan.

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There's so much for us to do.

There's so much for us to recap that I actually get very stressed out.

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And Stephanie's like, okay, guys, it's time for us to put on pajamas.

Are you guys ready to put on your Shoma group pajamas?

Mine are the white ones.

You guys have the black ones, okay?

We're going to show the difference here because I own the plane.

Okay, so I've got different pajamas than you guys.

You want to put on your pajamas, anyone?

No.

But like, if Lisa doesn't like see all like the things like I'm going through like publicly, like with someone like bashing me, like, you're not like my fucking friend, like, I feel like.

I love Larsa elevating her situation with Marcus to like national scandal.

No one is paying attention.

No one cared.

We saw the picture of him snorting Coke in France and we all laughed like stupid Marcus and we all never heard from him.

No one, right?

No one is keeping tabs on Larsa's issues.

No one is tracking down Larsa's comments on Marcus's Instagram.

I'm going to tell you that right now.

And if there's footage of us talking about it on Crappy Hour, then fine.

I don't care.

It's two of us talking about it though.

But the world is not talking about it.

Yeah, this is not the world.

We're just two queens, you know.

So Stephanie is like, I wonder if the girls on commercial got pajamas also, because I gave you guys pajamas because I'm a a girlfriend.

I'm a real girlfriend.

Do you think the other girls are doing private plane things?

Getting food, drinks, dancing, getting showma bags?

Do you think they're doing that on the private plane?

What losers?

Oh my God, this girl screams.

Just got some old man's money.

Like she's just screams.

It is sad.

It makes me sad.

Like you should just be more enjoyable.

You should just like enjoy this more without needing to rub it in everybody's face.

You know, you just need to be one of those people.

It's like, you want to look at someone with new money and be like, their new money?

They act like a Rockefeller.

So classy.

I, you know, my favorite version of new money is when people act like they're old money, but they've been new money all this time, like Yolanda Foster.

You know, oh, yes.

You want to come on to my flight, please come on to my flight.

But I don't know.

I like it.

I can't describe it, though.

That's my favorite version of new money is fake old money, but

I'm really enjoying Stephanie being just an obnoxious twit.

I don't know why.

It just tickles me to no end.

I'm laughing.

I mean, look, I think that Stephanie is a complete asshole.

I really do.

I think she's a horrible human being.

I think she's a terrible person.

She's an awful, awful, awful girl.

But I'm really enjoying her.

I have to say, I was laughing very, it's fun to laugh at.

It's kind of like a Heather DeBrux thing.

Like I had to get through a lot of years of just despising Heather Dubrow.

And no, I don't despise Heather Dubrow anymore.

anymore.

Like I can see the humor in her.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I don't want to meet her or talk to her or be in the same room with her or, you know, like even like the same bus as her or whatever, which would never happen.

Oh, it's, don't worry about that, Heather Dubrow.

Flap hand, flap hand.

I, yeah, I just think that Stephanie, I think Stephanie is so funny because she's just,

she just cracks me up.

Obnoxious, terrible person, but cracks me up.

So Julia is, we, we, by the way, we then see footage of the, the women in flying business class.

And I do say, it's funny, business class is so nice.

And they're like at a nice business class.

They've got pods.

This is like, this is like enviable flying.

It's like first class.

This is enviable flying.

But after seeing the four women on their own plane, then when you see them all,

when you see them all in first class, it looks like they are on like a city bus.

I was like, ugh, disgusting.

I mean, look how crowded it is.

Honestly, I'd take the pod.

I would take the pod.

I mean, to me, that's like the ultimate glamour.

You're in your own private bed.

You can be a bed or a chair.

You don't have to look at anybody.

You can watch whatever you want on TV.

You get your own personal three-meal service.

I mean, that's for me.

Listening to Stephanie brag about her shit, you could not pay me to be on that.

Although I would take the red light mask because did you notice that red light mask was one that I suggested on Amazon Live?

I was like, I did.

That girl must have watched our Amazon Live because she got my favorite red light mask.

Yes, this week I'm hoping to add Shoma group pajamas

onto our podcast.

Fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed.

So Julia's like, do you think the girlfriends are bitching about us having caviar and salsa?

Or are they saying we're so happy for them?

And Stephanie is like, absolutely.

None of them are saying we're so happy for them.

Silent laughs, silent laughs.

I feel like I've got to make a noise to do this, Stephanie.

Like for the people who are just listening with audio, I feel like we have to make some sort of noise to indicate it's stephanie's silent laugh it's just so funny to me that she doesn't ever make any noise there's no breathing there's no panting there's nothing she just goes

so then we cut to mary soul and she's getting glass they're like doing her lips and her like uh you know widow outfit She's like, oh my God, flying commercial.

You have to go through the lines.

You have to see TSA.

You have to take things out of your bag.

They stick their finger up your buns.

They like do a mouth swap.

You know, they turn you upside down by your ankles and shake you.

I feel like a prison.

What is this, a tuna sandwich?

I feel like a prisoner.

And,

oh, God, it's horrible.

So then we get back to Steph and she has a big announcement because I love tea sandwiches.

Like Marisol's tea sandwiches were so good.

This is the first time we've ever heard anyone.

declare a love for a tea sandwich.

I feel like tea sandwiches are the most basic, simple sandwiches of all time.

I mean, they're nice.

I mean, cream, cream, cheese, and cucumber, fine, lovely.

But who says that they love tea sandwiches?

I'm sorry.

That is crazy when there's so many other better sandwiches out there in the world.

Tea sandwiches are just like the,

they're just the,

they're just, I'm trying to even, I can't even come up with a metaphor.

I can't even come up with an analogy.

I was going to try to say that the something of sandwiches.

I can't even come up with what they are.

What are they of the sandwiches?

They are.

They're like the Mayo.

Well, no, not even Mayo because Mayo is like a must.

They're like the Christopher Cross.

They're like the Christopher Cross of sandwiches.

Oh, okay.

They're nice.

Yeah.

They're nice.

They're just basics, you know.

And she, I think she likes them because she sees them as something that's fancy.

You know, like she went to a tea in England with Masoud or whatever.

And she's like, oh my God, this is so fancy.

You know what I'm really into, Masoud?

Tea sandwiches.

I always have been.

Always have been.

How did you know that?

You brought me to a tea sandwich place.

Larsa goes, so good.

Larsa has no idea what a tea sandwich is.

She doesn't even realize that the sandwich that is in her fingers is a tea sandwich.

She thinks it's a sandwich in the shape of a tea.

Yeah, she thinks she's eating

a fucking gossip session, you know.

So, like, why are you in Alexia like fighting?

Like, it's like, I'm so confused.

Like,

and we see the Chihuahua versus Rottweiler fight.

And Stephanie is saying, you try to belittle me.

You try to belittle women to try to make yourself

feel better.

And she was like, like, oh, just my advice.

You feel she belittle you.

Maybe let's stick to this point without saying she belittle other women.

Because honestly, I don't think she belittles other women.

She belittles little women.

You are a little woman.

But not all women.

Only little women.

Maybe say she belittles little women.

This would be good.

This would be okay.

Her favorite novel is literally called Belittle Women.

Okay?

Adrian goes, well,

you didn't see her belittling me for two straight years, Julia.

And Julia's like, Adriana, you're good with her now.

Why are you going to the past?

You have this thing about you.

I love you, blitting.

You go to the past all the time.

And Adriana's going to the past all the time.

Like, I don't know, maybe Julia being upset at Gertie being a little salty about a cruise line with the captain's hand.

How about a year ago?

Or Julia being upset about Gertie not hopping on a Zoom link fast enough.

God, I hate when people go to the past.

So Julia's like, you know, it's just you go to the past all the time.

And she's like, because we're talking about the pattern of behavior.

That's why, you know, all of a sudden, Julia has developed selective amnesia, you know.

And we see a really great flashback montage of Alexia belittling women, chiefly.

And Julia in particular, which is really funny.

She goes, oh, you know how to be a prostitute because you're Russian.

So that's why.

That's why you know

so funny.

So Adriana thinks that basically

Julia's memory is clouded by her new friendship with Alexia.

Well, it is up to her.

It is up and down with her in fun.

And I'm not making excuses for her, but Alexia doesn't understand because she can't take jokes right now because she's very upset.

And she's like, it's not my fault.

She doesn't have humor.

Am I right?

Am I right, guys?

Sevilla, here we come like.

So then

Julia.

I don't know.

This whole scene just is making me laugh.

Like, everything about it makes me laugh.

Just like Larsa in the corner going, Sevilla, here we come.

I don't know why.

I don't know if Larsa even understands where she's going in the world right now.

I think she thinks she's going to get off and like she'll be in Australia somewhere.

She's like, where are the koalas?

Like,

so Julia is like, Stephanie and Alexia both have strong personalities and hopefully they can coexist on trip like Martina and Chris Everett during press tour because we're going to Spain for Alexia and I need everyone to get along wishful thinking, right?

Yeah, she's gonna ruin it in two seconds.

I hope everyone gets along.

By the way, Alexia, she was talking about you.

So now Julie and Larza take the beds and they're cuddling in their masks and everybody gets in their red light.

And morning, it's now morning.

Fun fact.

Did you know that Spain has five different types of Spanish which in its own country the first official language is castilian and castilian has a list

so for example barcelona ilbiza dry nith

and then her chiron says professor adriana resident expert on all things

I love this like little lesson.

I actually really liked it, but it just was so funny that they inserted it out of note.

Here's Adriana to tell us a little bit more about Spain's languages.

Because even Brava, even the editors at Rava are like, let's mock somebody for going back to school because that shit is hilarious.

Can you believe the city is going to Harvard?

What a loser.

Rumor has it it was created by an old king that had a lisp and he couldn't really say the s properly.

I just love how she's also so delighted when she tells people she's teaching someone information and she has a story later on that she also conducts with the same tone as if she's explaining about

like

different Spanish dialects.

However, it has a different ending.

Well, we'll get to it.

I love the story, too, about the old king with the lisp.

And I love it, just shows how powerful gays are.

We're like, guess what?

I'm gay, and you're all going to at least talk gay.

You may not have a dick in your mouth, but you are going to have a gay tongue in your mouth.

Do you understand?

It is now said Barcelona, and that's it.

And if not, you're beheaded.

Got it?

Betch.

and we're calling it castilian oh because you live in a castle no it's because julian castilian lives next door and i really want to impress him

so now uh stephanie's group is in a van and she's like do you guys have your passports and larza says the only time the only thing like i've still got on me like is a good time like and i'm like ready to like have like a great time like

Larsa, when she said this with a big goofy smile on her face, she was like trying to have this like, like, we're girlfriends going on a trip moment we're here but it did she started off in the wrong way because she said the only she should have said like the only thing i still have on me is like a bad time and i'm ready to have a good time but like she's like the only thing i still have on me is a good time um and i'm ready for a great time ha

it's like okay sure sure that can be

your like let's get this party started motto She's like, I've been to Barcelona like and Ibisa like, but I've never like been to Sevilla like.

So like, you know what, like I love like cultures and like foods and like

I don't know they have cars there right I love their cars I love their cars there

you cannot tell me that Larsa eats on vacation or partakes in any sort of local culture you just cannot tell me that Larsa is shopping and partying that's it yeah

So Julia has explained, she's like, okay, everybody, we got a presidential suite, but oh no, no, I'm sorry.

I'm Julia.

You shut up.

You shut up.

Stop taking my line, little person.

Okay, I'm Julia.

So we have a presidential suite as one of our suites, but I have taken the moment to give the suite to Alexia because she's going through such a hard time.

So I hope everyone is good.

I waited to tell you until after I was off of your private plane.

Yeah, seriously.

But guess what?

The joke is on Julia because,

hello, Miss Stephanie Shojai, you have been upgraded to a presidential suite for the second president who come visit us.

And she's like, oh, that was not me.

That was, I did not do that.

And guess what?

It was Missoued.

So she has like a big, she has everything.

She has a patio.

There's roses.

They walk in.

There's Chanel gifts.

And then they all have to sit there and watch her as she like unpacks all these gifts and try to like pretend like they are not super jealous.

I mean, those are really nice gifts.

I wonder what he gives to the mistress.

I mean, Jesus, giving that to the wife.

Who are you giving the good stuff to?

Well, I've had lots of men do very romantic things for me.

One time, a man took me on a helicopter all the way to his own private island in the Bahamas.

And it was a pyramid.

And there was a lady there who got us massages from girls who had golf hats on, but nothing else.

And it was great.

Unfortunately, he died.

His helicopter went down.

He died in his helicopter, flying back from his island, back to Palm Beach.

Died.

The helicopter fell.

Got that steamed on the way home.

So

Stephanie is unpacking her presents.

And meanwhile, the other ladies are coming in vans, and they're called Team No Sleep.

And Mary Soul goes,

you just see them passing orange trees

which are orange and they pass them and mari soul goes are those limes

oranges the capital is known for its oranges also oranges are known for orange

orange is the new lime am i right so Lisa, they find out that Lisa is landing soon and Alexia is like, you know, I love that Lisa is safe, but like, oh, well, you know, Peter, I would have like really appreciated if she would have sent us a text, but like not just saying anything had us really worried that she might actually be joining us like i was like please don't make it on the trip but she might she's joining after all we were so worried about her look how we acted at the airport when we said where's lisa and then we got on the plane and we left

so then uh meanwhile uh the other women They've changed.

They've spiffed up and they're now sitting at the hotel bar.

And there's like a there's this guy named Oliver who works at the hotel and she she goes, oh, I have to tell you, I am obsessed with Tomas.

He is like your best employee of all time.

And then we see that there's this guy, Tomas, who's basically like a butler who was in the room with Steph.

And she's like, okay, repeat after me, Tomas.

No basic bitches.

Okay.

No basic bitches.

I hate to break it to you, but you're kind of.

the basic bitch of this group.

You're not the rulekeeper, Tomas.

Just repeat it.

He's like, no basic bitches.

She's like, very good.

Give a raise so then we go to Julie and Adriana going to a bar and Stephanie's there and she's like you guys this is my first trip without Masoud it is so hard without being with Masoud you know like going down steps and not worrying if somebody's gonna fall down them you know what I mean it's really really hard to get used to do you have any other trips and not having to read them to somebody difficult

It's just weird being on a trip and not being told that you're going to be going on another trip within the trip to go to Canada.

It's just weird but she says the only other trip that she's had with with without miss hood was when she went to columbia to get her boobs reduced so i i just love the way she continues to like brag

when like she finds new and interesting ways to brag at all times like she just have just such enormous boobs that they had to be reduced so she went to columbia to do it yeah and why are you getting why are you finally getting an old man and getting your boobs reduced when the old man is starting to grow the boobs

it just seems like weird timing

Yeah, well, it's like you, it's like conservation of mass.

Like there can, it's just you can't, it there, like it's a zero-sum effect.

If his boobs get bigger, yours must get smaller.

So she says, I don't like being away from my husband because I'm obsessed with him.

I'm addicted to him.

Like, I love his energy.

I like, I'm, I, I'd love having him around me.

Like, I like to tell him things.

I like to go to lunch.

I like to have breakfast.

I like to have dinner.

I like to cuddle with him.

I like his presence around me all the time.

Like, I give them five years.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sure you could have gone to a fabulous place with Basud and had fun, but you chose to be with us.

And thank you for that.

Oh, yeah, there's so many feelings that need to be discussed, but we need to move on and be friends.

And while I do believe that Alexia should choose her words more wisely, I do not not like her.

Two grown-up women fighting about dog breeds is pretty funny, Art.

It was so hilarious.

Well, I think what it is is Napoleon syndrome because you go to sleep every night feeling very, very inferior.

So you wake up in the morning and try to make yourself feel like you're superior.

But in reality, every day you go to bed knowing you have self-esteem issues.

And at this point, what's so funny is that when she was saying this, I literally thought she was talking about herself at first because she's the short one.

She's the short one.

That's what Napoleon complex is.

And that's what Napoleon.

Yeah.

And then I start to realize, oh, she's saying Alexia has a Napoleon complex.

I was like, do you know what a Napoleon complex is?

And you realize.

You're the Napoleon here.

She just described herself.

And, you know, you need to make yourself superior, but in reality, it's your sister that are bitches.

Right, guys?

Napoleon complex.

You need to make yourself feel superior.

Like, I don't know, picking and choosing gets to go on a private plane with you.

I don't know.

And then bragging about all the Chanel gifts your husband sent you when he upgraded you to a presidential.

Like for a moment, I thought she was being a self-reflective.

I was like, I actually really appreciate that she acknowledges that she has Napoleon syndrome.

And then it's like, oh, no.

Her Napoleon syndrome is so bad, she actually thinks the taller person has it.

I've never seen a Napoleon syndrome be so ironic.

So Adriana's like, I'm like, who are you?

Oh, so Julia tells, oh, so like the other girls come in to the bar, all the bus people.

So they come in and Julia gets right, runs up.

off her seat to Alexia and she's like, oh, hello, get ready.

We were talking about you, but have drink first.

Have drink first.

Because, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo, girl over there talking about you.

it's gonna be mad it's gonna be bad

and note her tone was not oh my god we were just talking about you her tone was get ready

we were just talking about you

you need to have a drink first there was nothing about that that was friendly or that was peacekeeping or was in line with everything else that julia said this trip was supposed to be about No, she was being a little kiss ass.

Of course, she's running up to her like masters and giving them the information so she can be like oh i was the one stand up for you everybody else hates you i guess i'm your best friend here

so uh

i don't care they can all go off what do you mean they were talking about me i told you not to talk i told you not to talk about me but it wasn't me i wasn't talking about you i was talking about them not talking about you maybe and so adriana sees this and she's like i'm like who are you do i even know you are you like a little puppy now it's like she became alexis little bitch so eager to run to mommy.

Just a small fact.

Mommies are called mommies because the real word is mother, which is longer, but people shorten it out of affection for the woman that birth them.

And that woman died in a helicopter.

So Alexia.

Alexia tells everyone that Lisa missed the flight and has landed in Madrid.

And Larsa's like, like, I wish I would have like bet like on Lisa missing her flight like because I would have made like a million dollars like

Because I would have bet like a million dollars like and then well I guess I would have bet like five hundred thousand dollars like and then I would have won that back like so it'd be like a million and like XYZ and this and that She's gonna be late to her own funeral girls, honestly

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So Alexia goes upstairs with her group, and Julia joins them.

And Stephanie is telling Larsa, we haven't been off the plane for two hours, and this is how Julia repays me.

She doesn't even let me finish the conversation.

She just goes and gossips.

The one horrible, disgusting move that she made.

That is one horrible, disgusting poor person never going on a private plane again move that she just made.

I hope she enjoys Southwest Airlines.

This is Stephanie who is like, this is how she repays me for me doing this for her when later on she's like, I don't buy things for my friends so that way they

really

she got to go on a sponsored company old man jet.

How dare she's taking

her old man pajamas.

She got free branded Shoma group pajamas.

That's valuable.

So yeah, Adriana's like, yeah, she's, this is a new Julie.

I don't know her.

So then the other, the other ladies are toasting to each other.

They're checking the rooms.

Marisol, for some reason, is dressed like she's in a hazmat suit.

She's like an all-white and she has like a little thing over her head.

I think she thought she was going to Chernobyl.

And then Julia goes,

everybody, stop the process.

I'm just looking for E.T.

Give them up.

Give them up.

We can go back to where we're back.

Does anybody have a stockpile of stuffed animals?

He likes to hide in those.

Well, I'm worried about radioactivity because the limes here are orange.

That's scary.

So Julia goes back to the original group and she's like, what have I missed?

And Stephanie goes, Julia, I have a question for you.

What the hell were you thinking?

She hasn't even been here for two hours and you have to go gossip.

Gossip?

I said we were talking about you.

Like, oh, we were talking about you.

But why would you do that, though?

Like, like, why'd you do that?

Like, like, though?

It's like so disrespectful.

I thought we were friends.

But did I tell her we were talking about?

No, I said we're hi.

We're talking about you.

Have fun.

Look at you.

You're here.

We were talking about you.

Lies, lies, lies.

Okay, why are you stirring the pot?

We just got here.

You were the one that was like, this trip has to be fun.

This trip has to be great.

And you're already stirring the pot.

It hasn't been 10 minutes.

Like the pot hasn't even been taken out of the box yet.

Oh, Stephanie.

No, no, stir, stir, stir.

You know what?

Stir away.

Because guess what?

I have the biggest fucking spoon, bitch, and I'll be stirring all fucking trip.

It's like, oh, geez.

You know, literally, guys, I have like a really big spoon.

Like Masud got it for me.

It was actually hilarious.

So, when I was coming back from Columbia, when I had my breast reduced, he was like, I feel bad that you went on a trip without me.

So, we went, when we flew back up to Canada, he found an enormous Montreal spoon.

They call it Montreal spoons.

So, I brought it back because it's actually the only one in the entire world.

So, I have a huge spoon.

Oh, my God.

I'll show you guys when I get back to Miami.

Yeah, like those are the ones you have to look out for.

The ones that are like doing all the dirty work, like, and then you're not knowing, like, Mary Sol.

Mary Sol is definitely dangerous.

Also, you know what's dangerous?

Like, spoons.

They're like really hard.

Like, nothing stays on them.

I keep putting them on.

I keep trying to put fruit on there and it just falls.

You need to turn the spoon the other way.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

Spoons are scary because when I look at my reflection and I'm upside down, that's like, that's not right.

Like,

Julia is.

Julia's like, Stiffani, I like you, but stop with the attitude, please.

Well, I like you.

But then you go and you tell someone we were talking about them just because like the only thing we were talking about was the situation.

Like, you didn't have to go and tell her, you know, I have a, you know, okay, okay, I have a,

I have a prayer I'd like to say for Julia.

Lord, baby Jesus, protect us from people with hidden agendas as we strive to be genuine and others are not.

Amen.

And Julia's like, well, cheers to severely.

And she goes, well, cheers to finding out who our real friends are.

You're never going to see my money again.

You're never going to see my shoma again.

So it's nighttime now.

People are getting into glam.

Marisol is, of course, leeching off Alexia's glam because it's Marisol.

And

the guy's doing hairspray on her, or whoever it was is doing hairspray on her.

And Marisol's like, wow, God, be careful.

I'm on hairspraying my khaki.

Well, I'm glad you wanted to do this.

Julie and I both want you to be distracted from thinking about Tadada.

All right.

Oh, yeah, I thought it was weird that Julia, as as soon as she saw me, was like, oh, we've been talking about you.

Oh, no, that's Alexia.

I thought it was weird that Julia, as soon as she saw me, was like, oh, we've been talking about you.

Like, I don't know if I like should be happy or like, were they saying nice things?

No, don't be so wicked and think the worst.

It was probably something great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Then we cut to Larsa.

This is actually, it's actually really fucked up, but like the way it's treated on this show kind of cracked me up because it's so real households in Miami.

So Larsa's like in Glam and she gets a phone call.

She's like, hello.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

The best part is she was saying a different accent.

She goes, hello, hello, hello, hello,

hello, hello, hola.

This guy keeps calling me from different numbers saying I have a crush on you.

And I've like blocked all these numbers.

And I'm like, what country are you from?

Like, I can, like, I can only reject him in like the language that he's like accustomed it to.

So, like, that's why I i say hello in so many different languages like larsa is literally being stalked and stephanie goes larsa are you dating anybody

like like i don't care like

this is a scary situation and like stephanie just doesn't even like whatever are you dating anybody like nothing crazy like okay i mean this in a kind loving way i just feel like maybe you should try and stay away from athletes for a couple of months and try a businessman or i don't know what about that guy on the phone who keeps calling you i mean i think stalkers could be a totally viable source of romance I mean he's making an effort you know and that's the important thing no but like like I'm open but like whatever like the universe like has in store like you know like if it's rich and like has like a career and like sports then yeah like and then they show the guy that's doing their glam but they don't give him a name they're like sesar and sammy or whatever i was like can they have their own identities because you're only talking to one and he's like oh you know what i think that she likes being a milf MILF because if it was, if I was 25 or a 75-year-old with the same bank account, who would you date?

And Larsa's like, but like, I can't like go to bed at like 8.30.

Like my love here.

Like, I go to clubs.

I like to stay out like all night.

Like.

Stephanie's like, um, excuse me.

We sometimes go out all the way to 9.30.

Okay.

Cause only bad things happen after 10 p.m.

Right.

So Stephanie says that she doesn't have a guy for Larsa yet because Larsa has strict requirements, aka they have to be athletes.

And Larsa's like, I'm open to it.

I mean, Steph wants to find me someone in finance or like a builder or something like that.

That's stupid.

I don't like it.

So

Larsa, Larsa is saying that she hopes that Julia doesn't go back and tell Alexia

everything where Alexia is feeling like she has to like come into this trip like in a bad mood, which is too late for that.

That ship has sailed.

And Steph is like, well, you know what these people need to get used to?

If you stir the pot, I'm going to stir the pot right back.

And I'm going to flip the table right back on you and I'm not going to stay quiet.

She's like, wow, that's like a really big reaction for like, I learned like a normal day on housewives.

You're going to need to scale it back a little bit there.

Yeah.

So.

The flamenco singers have been brought to dinner.

And Alexi's like, hello, hello.

I love flamenco.

I love your work.

Oh my God, I love you.

Come here.

Give me a kiss.

You know what you do?

Flamenco.

You know what you do?

Put your foot down.

That's what I'm trying to learn to do with Todd.

Okay.

So maybe you can teach me.

Put my foot down.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

I did it.

Give me a kiss.

Come on.

Well, this trip is really important for Alexia because we've decided it is.

And it's my duty to distract her and keep her

off thoughts of Todd.

I mean, so I hired this musician.

He looks like Kenny G, but they call him,

they call him just like the crazy guy who sings.

And, you know, uh, I want him to start to give us a good mood to begin the trip with a bang, you know.

Well, I want to say something personal about love.

I'd like to sing with my heart to Alexia.

I would sing with my whole heart.

Alexia.

It's so good.

Oh, well, you know, Peter, it's so good.

Oh, well, it's Peter.

I'm crying.

Alexia.

I was.

He was dying.

He's like right in her face.

Like, oh.

He's like sobbing.

It's like, please, the love inside,

don't let it go.

Wow, I'm crying in my khaki right now.

It's just so beautiful.

Everyone's like trying not to laugh.

I mean, I don't know.

I don't know what, like, I feel like this is like a certain style of singing.

So I was, I was watching, trying to be respectful, like, oh, this is probably just a local style of like incantation.

But I was like, this is great.

This is great.

It was so funny because the drama, he was just so dramatic.

Oh, my gosh.

And the song he was singing was so funny.

He's like, oh, my God,

the song you gave him.

That man didn't understand your love.

Ladies are

the rest of the world.

Oh my God, he owes me.

I'm dying inside of those beautiful.

And I have to say, like, everyone's trying to be respectful, but they cannot, they cannot hold their laughter.

They are, like, dying inside.

Like, Larsa is just like, she's just like,

like, she's just trying to cover her mouth.

Everyone's just like trying to be like chill.

And they're like, oh,

this guy was just so dramatic.

And Larsa's like, I don't like know what's like happening.

Like, like Alexia and Mary sort of like crying, but like, I don't feel like any emotion.

But yeah, do you ever feel any emotion?

Like, have we ever seen Larsa with any emotion ever?

I don't think Larsa feels anything anymore.

I don't know if she has, I don't think sensation is something I think about with Larissa.

There's a lot.

So

Marisel's like, wow, I did not ask Danny to play that tear jerker.

That was on his own.

Holy crap.

Wow, my goodness.

I was crying so much that my knees got lubricated.

And then it ends, and Alexi goes, Ole.

Ole.

So they applause, and then caviar is served.

And Julia gives her speech.

Like, welcome to Seville.

Seville.

Seville.

Yeah.

Seville.

Seville, yeah.

We've put a trip together to welcome you all.

We have had different reasons to be here.

Me, scary goat, babysitting children.

Larsa, I don't know.

She knows where she is.

Stephanie, mean person needs mean place to go.

But we wanted to make it special for you, Alexia.

And she goes, oh, you have.

You have.

That was so special.

That was so special i died inside and came back to life thank you ladies thank you thank you danny i love you danny i love you don't change danny you're a star smaller star but still a star you're in a constellation of stars okay i'm like the moon of the stars okay okay little dipper i love you little dipper

i'm ursa major you're ursa minor oh my my friends are my family and like the only reason i'm still standing is because of my friends you know so like no matter what if we have our differences we come together and we support each other even except one person, where's Lisa?

Where's Lisa?

So she's like, she's on a train because Obeli no Peter, she missed a flight.

So she had to go to Miami, London, London, Madrid, Madrid to get on the train to Seville.

And we see a map.

And she's, you know, that Lisa had a million bags and she went alone because these people, the production was like, we paid a lot of money for this flight.

And you just were like, you just shrugged it off.

Good luck.

You're carrying your own bags through planes, trains, and automobiles.

They didn't even give her a VA.

They're like, good luck.

Hope you can make it.

And I like that Alexia is so dramatic.

She makes every city twice.

She's like, Miami, then London, London, Madrid, Madrid.

Then she went to Madrid.

And then from Madrid, she was coming from London.

So then London, she went to Madrid.

But then when she got to Madrid, she had to go on a train from Madrid to Seville, from Madrid.

It was like from Madrid to Seville.

So it was like London, Madrid, Madrid, London, London, Seville, Sevilla, Seville, Sevilla, London, London.

It's like, okay, it's three places.

So there's like, I can't even imagine little Lisa getting on a train with her luggage.

She must be like, oh my God, there's so much luggage.

I'm just a little lady.

I've got so much luggage.

What is she going to do?

What?

What's she going to do?

I think they think of the train as being this thing with like...

It's like donkeys are on there, like people have bird cages selling spices.

It's just like

peasants and like beggars and everything.

But reality is, I mean, if you have like more than one bag on a train, it it is very stressful and you know that lisa has like five giant suitcases i really don't i really don't know how she did that i don't know how she did the train how do you do that with so many bags and you're alone

oh my god like she might end up in like poland in like italy what if she ends up in pooland

i would love it if lisa ended up in pooland like she said well i'm in wasa everyone

So Adrian's like, I feel like she's paying the price, just like that man who died in a helicopter.

No one wants to be on the train.

So Stephanie announces that tomorrow she's taking everyone to a luxury flamenco dress store because they're going to get luxury dresses because she stays.

And she knows this town too, because she's been here many, many times.

So she knows where the luxury flamenco's at.

Biots!

But they have to have appointments to go into the store.

And like, what happens if there's the Lisa appointment?

So they decided that they're going to give Lisa the last appointment of the day.

And if she makes it, she she makes it which makes me wonder if they're setting up some sort of drama that lisa shows up last and there's like no minute no more good like fluenco dresses left and she has a meltdown which i feel like will probably happen yeah but like i feel like it's weird like yeah it is real and she needs to check in with us i mean why is she checking with us yeah she needs to check in that's what i always say you know i always say you know peter you got to check in you know and then one time peter didn't check in and frankie bizarre i said how could you not check in in front of frankie come on come on bro come on alexia alexia fulon has like her her nose up in the air you know when she her impervious imperious impervious nose whatever it is imperial maybe when she has her nose up she's like you gotta check in

you have to check in you like how do you not check in if you don't you have to check in if you're gonna be late that's fine but check in you're not gonna check in imagine me like last week at the preppy party wearing glasses right now so you'll take me more serious

she didn't check in when you're late for your friends who work so hard to organize a trip and by your friends working so hard i mean people at Bravo.

And your friends take all the credit for it.

It is not the right thing to do.

That is not right.

You must check in.

She thinks we are not important enough to make a call.

Another bad lisa, like, but like, we had the best time on the plane with Stephanie.

Like, Mercer was like, I am just so happy for you.

Wow.

A plane, a private plane.

That was amazing.

I enjoyed the tuna fish sandwich that somebody threw out of my head while I was getting my ankles shook out in TSA.

So,

yeah, we drank like, we danced like.

It was fun like.

I felt bad to split all of you guys up, but you know, I did ask you first.

I did ask you, Alexia, first.

And Marisol's like, yeah, when we arrived, did you guys feel a weird vibe?

Sorry.

It's this Lieutenant Marisol showing up to do Alexia's early work right now.

So let's get the ball rolling on the fight.

I felt it was weird too, Kiki.

Yeah, it was weird.

I felt.

Well, yeah, because then Julia came up and she said you were talking about me.

So, yeah, she said that.

You know, it would have been nice to get a heads up about it, you know, like maybe like a text or something, you know, because you're supposed to get a heads up.

She was like, she was like basically getting off her chest.

Yeah, like the time I went to Columbia to get a breast reduction, I just like to get it off my chest.

Oh, well, yeah, well, you spent time getting to know the other girls, but you judged me from day one.

She goes, that is not true, Alexia.

Well, at Marisa's party, I thought you were going to sit down and tell me how you couldn't take all of this, talk to all of us.

And, you know, it turns out you said all the hurtful defamatory lies.

And how could you accuse me of belittling women to make myself better?

Like, I know you guys, I know you're new, but these girls have known me for years.

So you're just going to come into the group and change the dynamics and make me look or seem like somebody I'm not.

Okay, first of all, you're not going to tell me what dynamics I'm going to change and not going to change and be sorry you're offended, but sometimes the truth hurts Napoleon.

I like Stephanie taking a stance on which dynamics she's going to change.

You don't get to tell me what dynamics I'm going to change.

I'll change dynamics all I want to.

She goes, Who do you think you are?

I am Stephanie Shochai.

She goes, Bitch, and I'm an Alexia Napola.

Okay.

So there, you're Shojai.

I'm a Nepola.

So look at that.

Let's say last night.

And I think you're very insecure.

I think you're very insecure.

No, no.

No, no.

You have insecurity.

You're insecure yourself.

That's what I said about her, right?

She's insecure.

Alexia.

Oh, I'm Alexia.

I'm Alexia.

When I tell you, even though it was all over the trailers, let me tell you something.

I cracked up with her thumping her chests, yelling, I'm Alexia.

Oh, you know why?

Because my confidence, it bothers you.

You know, thank you very much because that's what happened.

Look, my confidence hurts, okay?

She's like, oh, yeah, jealousy hurts.

What am I jealous of?

What am I jealous of?

What am I jealous of?

What?

What?

Just, you need therapy.

You know, and when somebody comes in with, you know, youth and beauty and a lot more money, Alexia thinks she's a star.

And then that star

might get threatened.

And I think that might be a point of contention.

It's like, why are you trying to start a problem with me?

That's your tone of voice.

Okay.

That's the tone of voice you take.

And she goes, okay, then match my tone of voice.

Oh, I'm matching it right now.

I'm matching your tone of voice right now.

Okay.

So Julie's like, oh my God, would I have known I would start a crazy conversation?

I never would have done it.

I feel so bad.

This is not what dinner is supposed to be about.

This classic person who says something like that.

And it's like, oopsie, I never would have known that when I made it sound like they were talking shit about you, that she would get mad.

Guys,

come on, where does go wrong?

She's like, Mary Soul, I have tried at every event to talk to Alexia.

Do you remember the time I told her her husband was garbage?

I mean, come on.

It was like a hug.

It was like a warm hug I was trying to give her.

And I have reciprocated by calling me a chihuahua.

Well, you take things too personally, my dear.

It's like, you called me a chihuahua.

well because you said i barked it's like really hard alexia saying you think you take things too personal is funny like alexia alexia of all people yeah it's really hard to go toe-to-toe with alexia like brutal really like but at like the same time like i don't think i've ever seen stephanie this heated like like they're butt heads because they're like alpha like they're fighting about dog breeds like

okay well why did you pick a chihuahua for me it's like well because you sound like one right now well why did you say i kiss i'm a kiss ass because you think you can buy friends friends with all your riches.

She's like, oh, did I buy you?

Did I buy you?

Did I buy you?

It's like, you know, I'm sorry.

What did you say?

I couldn't hear with this red light mask on.

Hold on.

What?

You literally bought them.

And then when Julia didn't do as you wanted her to do, you said, this is how you repay me, implying that you paid for something first.

Exactly.

So Kiki's like, this is the most entertaining dinner.

I'm on Team Kiki.

I'm enjoying myself so much.

This is great.

Like, she's like, you are dangling carrots.

You know what?

Who's going to get on my jet?

Oh, I don't care about fancy things like that.

Okay, look, I'm friends with Mary.

So she looks like a newspaper with a head on top of it.

Did you see that when Stephanie was going around saying, did I buy you?

Did I buy you?

Did I buy you?

Kiki goes, give me a broken bag.

She's like, I'm for sale.

She's like, you can buy me.

I'm for sale.

So Gerdi's like, oh, what happened to let the good times roll?

Spain knows we're here now, that's for sure.

And Stephanie's like, Alexia, I will take this moment to be the bigger person.

I genuinely like you, okay?

Can you tell?

And I've not once said anything bad about you, except that you're insecure and shallow and stupid, okay?

But I was rubbed the wrong way.

And that's it.

And she goes, oh, you know what?

But I was rubbed the wrong way too.

That's why.

Because like, I was rubbed the wrong way too.

That's like crazy.

I was offended when you called me a kiss ass because it didn't go in hand with calling me a big head 20 minutes earlier.

So if you're going to insult me, they need to be consistent, Alexia.

I need consistency, okay?

But did it go hand in hand with you talking about Todd?

Was that hand in hand with something?

I don't even know what hand in hand means, but I'm going to say hand in hand because you said Todd was coverage, you know?

The one comment I regret is calling him trash because just because he is trash doesn't mean I have to call him trash, you know?

And she's like, I only called her him trash because I'm trying to be on her team against a guy that she says she's breaking up with.

So she's like, I'm just trying to say Todd sucks.

It's just my way of saying it.

And Stephanie's like, I'm not here to tell you what to do with your life.

She goes, but even like, you know what?

Like, I get it because, like, stuff that I've told you guys about my relationship, like, you know what?

I'm so regretful, you know, because you say things out of anger and then it gets you girls mad.

And I know you have my best interests at heart.

So, like, what I'm trying to say, Stephanie, I love you.

Like, we're best friends, right?

And she's like, Yeah, I love you too.

Like, I can't even believe this.

We're going to be the best friends.

Yeah.

Like, we're going to be together forever.

What the conversation turns so quickly.

That's why I was cracking up.

I was like, I love this show because they went so hard at each other.

And then they're like, and Alexia's like, now they're fighting over how good friends they'll be.

Like, you know, we're going to be good friends.

No, we'll be great friends.

We're going to be great friends.

No, we're going to be, you're going to love the way you look.

No, you, no, you are men's warehouse.

So they cheer and everything's fine.

So now it's 11:20 p.m.

and

Lisa arrives after nearly 24 hours of traveling.

And she's like, ah,

after traveling, which felt like weeks, months,

years,

decades,

scores, millennia, I'm here.

I'm here.

I made it.

So, okay, what room am I?

125.

What room is Mary's soul?

Could someone take my bags?

I've had a long day.

So she goes up and she's telling us her travel story.

She goes, it was so scary traveling alone.

Like there was one point where

no one spoke English in this train station.

It was so scary.

And I had to lug my own bags because no one was helping me because no one knew what I was saying.

It was so hard.

People don't even understand hand motions at the train station.

I was doing this.

Ah,

ah, so nobody helped me.

It was crazy.

You're saying you've been living in Miami for like 20 years and you still don't know enough basic Spanish to ask someone to help you?

That's so Lisa.

That's so, she doesn't even know how to say please.

Like, ayuda me por favor.

Like, please, come on, Lisa.

So, although, to be fair, I live in Los Angeles, but I have tried to learn Spanish, I just keep starting and stopping.

So, um, now we have so she goes up to Marisol and Lexia's room.

Marisol's like, oh, we were worried, monkey.

You finally made it.

She's like, oh, it's fine.

We're on vacation.

But what happened to you?

Pish posh.

No, no, typical monkey.

When she does something wrong, she comes in with games.

Look at her pish-posh games.

That's some fun.

She says, pish, and she says, pash.

I mean, she's just ridiculous.

So Alexi's like, but you know what?

You coming late?

That was so rude and disrespectful to us.

Like, really?

That was so bad.

That was like really

bad.

Honey, we're not doing that right now.

We're not doing it.

I was on a train.

It was disgusting.

I saw so many maids on there.

Ugh.

Look, that's narcissism right there.

You know what?

At least take accountability.

At least it's like, I don't want to do this.

I came to say hi to you guys.

This is the first thing I did was come to the audio.

Well, help us us help you because everyone's passed.

So you're going to have to deal with it tomorrow.

I have my reasons.

Okay.

And that's that.

Yeah, but like, why not text the girls and tell us your reasons?

Like, hey, I'm on the flight.

You know, narcissistic behavior, narcissism.

It's like, I can't get into it with you because I need some time to figure out what my cover story is to make you guys all feel bad for me.

But it's been like 24 hours and you're like, hee, hee, ha ha.

You know, the girls are very, very mad.

You know, they feel like you're very disrespectful.

You're not even going to get pajamas, whatever that is.

Sasu me.

Okay, I didn't hurt anyone.

What did they lose?

They had dinner at the hotel.

Everyone's very unfinished, monkey.

Okay, well, they can deal with it tomorrow.

Fuck them.

Because when they understand what's really going on, they'll feel like assholes.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Let me give you a hint.

It has something to do with Lily!

I guarantee you nothing significant is going on.

No, I guarantee it.

But I don't need a whole fight of yelling at Lisa for being late.

I mean, she paid the ultimate price, which is having to travel alone with all of her bags on three different, like the three different cities and taking 24 hours.

So let's say, you know, she suffered.

She suffered enough.

She's suffered.

Let it be.

Thank you all for being here.

We will be back with Orange County and

we will catch you all on the next episode.

Bye, everyone.

Bye.

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