#2966 McBee Dynasty S02E07: Stupid Spice

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Watch Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about, truly love.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today,

the one, the only, a man who would never crash a combine while going through town, Mr.

Ronnie Carrum.

Hi, Ronnie.

Well, hello.

I wouldn't be so sure about that last part.

Give me access to one and we'll see.

We are here to talk about...

McBee Dynasty.

Before we do that, just a reminder that this coming Monday, we have an Amazon live

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That's the news.

Ronnie.

Ronnie, what did you think about McBee Dynasty heading to Nashville for a cast trip?

This damn show tricked me.

I really thought they made it look like Cole cheats.

But you know what?

I will say I was wrong.

All of us were wrong because we listened to the damn preview.

We should know better now from Bravo.

But I will say you're still a piece of shit that everybody believes that so easily.

You know?

So I'm not taking you back.

I'm not taking back my piece of shit comments.

Cole.

Yeah, you let him know.

Yeah, Cole, he didn't cheat.

He didn't cheat.

It was a very exciting turn of events

on a very exciting episode.

They went to Nashville and they came back and they still had 10 minutes left in the episode.

So really so much happened.

Why don't we dive right into it?

We have Tessie.

Jesse and Allie are finally getting hitched.

And

that's exciting.

And we see the flashback to Steven, you know, pestering Jesse to get a prenup.

You know, I guess we'll see.

Kayla went back to Dallas where she could be a slut in a different state, stupid bitch.

And I suspect this time it's for good.

And if it's not, it will be for good because I got a golf club in my back seat and I'm going to use it.

Then call up and left the farm during harvest for Casey's baby moon.

Really pissing Steven off.

I mean, who does he think women are anyway?

And even though Bet Boss Man ain't at the farm, his game of rushing roulette continues.

And it's just, it just cuts to Galena holding a gun to a chicken's head.

It's like spinning the wheel, like, oh, Ginger.

It's like, listen here, Ginger.

Do you regret going to Marshall instead of me?

Click.

Oh, you got lucky this time, you chicken bitch.

Galena's stupid chuckle.

Those eyes, those piercing eyes, she guessed.

I see them in my sleep.

I cannot believe this is actually happening.

So

that was the craziness of MCB Dynasty.

So, by the way, for all of you who are wondering what the fuck happened with that combine at the end of the last episode when a wheel came

flying off of it into the road and could have killed someone if anyone had been driving that road.

Guess what?

You'll You'll never get to know because we never went back to it.

Because as we all remember, last week's episode was like, how could Cole do this?

We're in the middle of harvest.

How could a Cole leave and leave in the middle of harvest?

And this week is, well, we're going to go out to try some spices in Nashville.

So everyone leaves.

He's such a hypocrite.

And it is funny watching him slowly morph into his father, you know.

Because he really is becoming that man.

He's like, well, you can't do it, but I can.

And you can't go out for a baby move but we can all go for a boy's trip which you're going to get in trouble for i'm going to go try and ruin everybody's relationship so i'm not the only single person in this family i mean it's just exactly what his dad does you know the every single time

so

guys

you know where i want to go and i hope you want to go to because we're about to go there the farm fulfillment center get in the wagon

Have you ever wondered how we fulfill all those dribble doors?

You go to the firm fulfillment center.

this is where it's also where we drop off the babies that the women are going to start dropping you ready for your baby come get it the farm fulfillment center that's what boss man would like the farm fulfillment center which is where farms go when they're feeling low on self-esteem and they come out feeling great Farm Fulfillment.

It's not your fault, farm.

Yeah, but I've always wanted to kick Cole's ass in a hill did it first.

They had to go out of town to get it done.

It's not your fault, farm.

I just ate such a bad crop of corn.

You know, I've only given 150 bushels, and I just feel-I don't know.

I feel like I would give more bushels if I just felt more fulfilled.

Do you have an activity for me?

How many bushels do I give, and I don't even receive a pick in return?

Well, it's not.

Life isn't a song, guys, and dolls, farm.

Okay, all right.

I feel more fulfilled.

Thank you.

Sometimes a farm can catch a cold.

So, uh, Steven is packing boxes

of beef

because they have their, because he's like really pushing this meat thing.

Although, good luck to anyone who buys meat from these jokers.

They can't even seem to like send like one piece of brisket down to Kansas City for a barbecue, idiots.

That's sad.

Good luck to all the people who are buying meat with too much fat cut off, as we just learned in the last episode.

People are just going to be getting like discards from Cole's house, like an old like Tasmanian Devil t-shirt.

Like, wait a second, I thought I ordered meat.

Oh, we're so bad.

Sorry.

We thought you said you wanted a tasmanian devil t-shirt that's my bad that one's on me i'm sorry we ordered meat and there was a spilled big gulp in the box so that was cold that must have been coal's day at work that is why we don't do baby moons in the middle of harvest we are harvesting

coal it's a meat harvest

Oh, God.

So cold.

So, yes, they're really like, this is them really trying to show their meat business.

I was tempted to buy some meat from them just to see

like how bad it was.

But then I was like, no, I'm not going to support these people.

So

yeah,

I'll get meat locally.

But yeah, they're just

shipping meat all around.

Well,

the McBee Meat Company is our own farm raised beef and pork grown here.

And lately, we've been shipping meat boxes out like crazy with the upcoming holidays.

There's high demand.

We even shipped one to a baby moon.

I said, finally, an appropriate use of meat.

Thank you, pregnant.

You want a meatbox?

Look no further than the McBee meatbox.

We grow all our pork with natural fertilizer because

nothing gives good pork like a McBee pork flower.

They blossom in pure Missouri sunlight.

One thing I think of often, and I don't even know why, is how excited Stephen was when they got the meat truck.

He's like, I'm driving around the meat truck.

it says mcb meat it's just dressed big guy driving around a truck that's like completely covered in mcb meat where meat gets its meat this is even where cows would order their meat hey you know what our what our meat's last wish was on their last meal request meat from mcb meat

i wish it was like the oscar meyer wiener truck except they just like built out like to make it look like a big like a big ribeye like on its side just driving along you know he's just driving a ribeye it's a tomahawk truck.

It's like you can't fit any passengers in the back.

They're damn it.

We shouldn't have chosen the hot tomahawk.

I can't even get, can't even get any meat in the back of this truck.

Just big bum.

Padmas in there also being like, Where do hot dogs come from?

Because on Taylor, who did we steal meat from?

Destination she drove.

And that I will always remember her driving along in the Oscar May Arena truck being like, Why are there hot dogs in Milwaukee?

the oppressed burrito let's check in burrito how are you feeling today do you feel kidnapped from your own country yes I do I'm very oppressed that was the best burrito interview everybody's ever done everybody that's a wrap no pun intended burrito

wow so Stephen

oh

wow that's Stephen doing capadma stephen's like so how is the baby moon coal because while you were relaxing the rest of us were in the combines focusing on the harvest.

I was like, no, you weren't in the combines.

You were standing around the combines because it had flipped over and a wheel had gone down the hillside.

Those combines were going nowhere and there was no harvests.

Many of you were driving combines.

Let's not pretend to work when we know you don't.

There's the NFL combines.

Well, my phone was on Do Not Disturb, so I was the baby moon.

You know, you never really known, you really never known excitement until you've shown somebody a mountain for the first time.

You know, it's funny because his phone was on Do Not Disturb, while my life was disturbed, watching Cole's face.

I swear to God, it's like a haunted tree stump.

I cannot look at him anymore.

Right.

Well, you're becoming a traveler, and I was going to Nashville.

So what do you think of that?

So you're going to have to put that in your schedule.

Put that in your schedule and smoke it.

Okay.

Pretend your schedule's a pipe.

Do that.

He's like, I ain't leaving.

Well, it's an actual business trip.

Okay.

We got to go.

throw some spices in with these packages.

So we're going to go look at custom spices, which you can only get by driving to Nashville, Tennessee.

Do you understand?

The mail system doesn't work out in Nashville.

They can't send the samples.

Okay.

What are we going to have for samples of samples?

What are we?

Losers?

Coal?

It is physically impossible to send spices in the mail.

You are the most pessimistic person I've ever met to talk about spices.

Okay.

Yes, you can send meat, but you cannot send spices.

Everyone knows this cold.

I'm getting with it.

So Jesse is going to have to go too.

So he's like, here we go.

We have a history with Nashville that includes us making poor choices.

And I've got a wedding coming up

in a few weeks.

I'm supposed to be doing all that stuff I'm doing for the wedding right now, which is nothing really, except wondering what Maroon is.

I love them acting like there's a lot of decisions to be made about this wedding.

We all know what it's going to be.

They're going to go into that generic event space that they used this very episode to have a baby shower.

They're going to just put some flowers up.

All the ranch hands, that creepy guy, Jake, who may be like Evis, I don't know.

He's going to be in charge of like putting everything up.

They're not going to lift a finger.

They're going to make all their employees do everything.

Tessa will be like, it'll be my honor.

I've raised these boys.

Now I'm going to put a flower on the wall to celebrate them.

They're going to do all the work.

They're not going to do a single thing.

They're not going to do a thing.

Yeah.

We know.

To be on the farm.

Allie's going to be like, why is Jake throwing meth at the birds?

They're going to die.

You can't throw birds.

They're acting like they have to secure a deposit to get John Legend to perform at this thing.

No, you're all going to be in the backyard with the banjo playing.

Yeah.

Yeah, Tessa's going to be like, some side love.

It's like a river.

Because tonight is a real good night.

Woo-hoo.

Like,

I hope you dance.

I hope you dance.

All right, I want everyone to get on the dance floor.

All right.

Love shit.

I put a brick into his side and I scratched his car of his four-wheel drive

because we're going to the wham she ain't come on everyone

I'm sorry Jessa that is too gay.

Please not not this way.

Not anymore.

We took it back.

Just because Jesse has become a gay icon in Ronnie's life does not mean that he's gay enough to get this song at his wedding.

Please.

i love tessa just being a one-woman band she is didn't you see the one where they're like oh that's tessa you know tessa can sing and tessa like that sure i do i would sing with my mama i would sing my papa they're not here no more since boys these boys to a birthday party for me so i'm gonna sing um my sing

oh no

Ladies and gentlemen,

just roll over in his grave.

He knocked on the lid and said, shut the fuck up, Tessa.

Jesus, how far do I gotta run?

Ladies and gentlemen, for our wedding, we are honored to introduce our entertainment for the evening.

It's Tessa Lawler and the Dribbledoors.

Hey, everyone,

who's ready to party?

Shout, everybody.

Go shout a little bit louder now.

A little bit louder now.

A little bit louder now.

Baby loves the hanky pancake.

My baby loves the hanky pancake.

Don't blame it on the sunshine.

Don't blame it on the moonlight.

moonlight.

Don't blame it on the Kanban.

Don't blame it on the bookie.

Let's go back to the fulfillment center.

So, Stephen's like, sure, Alex will be fine with the trip to Nashville.

Tell her it's about spice samples.

Well, this close to the wedding, she'll kill me.

And Cole's like, well, I literally promised Casey I'd get my act together and cut back on the drinking, but Nashville will make me miss her maternity photo shoot.

It was all supposed to be my paternity photo shoot.

So you're going to miss your your paternity material.

What is she supposed to eat pickles alone in that photo shoot?

I know.

Honestly, I know this will upset Casey, but really see it as a blessing in disguise because when you guys are divorced in about two years, do you really want to see that guy in the, in the golden sunlight looming over your baby?

No, you don't.

I think cornfields is a better option.

Yeah, taking it.

Yeah, taking pictures alone in a cornfield is a better option for sure.

Your baby won't have to ask questions later.

Who's that guy?

It's the postman, honey.

He's the postman.

So, um, uh, so then Stephen, Stephen's saying, like, well, she'll be all right with it.

And Jesse goes, if you're so confident, you should give them both a call because the producer said that's what we have to do in this scene.

It's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

So Stephen calls Casey and he's like, hey, Casey, it's Stephen.

Yeah.

Well, guess what?

I'm calling because I'm taking Cole and Jesse to what it's about our meat shipments.

And we decided it would be a good idea to have a complimentary product of sending it out along.

So we're going to get spices.

We're going to go find out about spices.

And unfortunately, the only place in America that has spices is in Nashville.

So unfortunately, we have to go there and take Cole there too.

I love this sentence.

Hey, Casey, I'm here talking to Cole and Jesse about meat shipments.

Okay.

Lose my fucking number, bro.

Okay.

So Casey's like, oh, so Cole wants to go to Nashville.

No, Steven wants me to go.

I don't want to go there.

Oh, is he going to go regardless if I say no?

Well, you could say no, and then we won't have to find out.

You know, if you don't say no, we won't have to find out if I make him disobey you and choose between his family business and some girl he got impregnated in a cornfield.

So how about that, Casey?

Huh?

Hey, Casey, do you want your baby to have milk in its mouth, or would you rather it have no spices?

Those are your options.

I was hoping that it would have what monster of energy drink in its mouth, personally.

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So now we go to Steven's house and he's putting away pictures of him and Calla and sad music's playing like, I was a cowboy once, but now I'm just a man in a hat without my woman here to give me love.

Where's my truck?

Why can't I get love in my mouth?

Where's my truck?

Where's my truck?

It's a great song.

Great song.

I love it.

I love it.

So he's like, this is the longest I've gone without talking to Calla since we first started dating.

It just feels like I'm missing something.

I can't talk to my family about it because they got their own stuff going on.

I mean, you got Cole.

He's still trying to learn how to grasp onto a straw without lips.

Got Jesse.

His wife is living in the big city.

They even sell newspapers on the street where she's at.

He doesn't know how to deal with that.

She's getting something called manicures and pedicures.

I don't know what a man eat is or a petty, and I don't know why they need to be cured, but it's some city thing.

I can't even talk to those people.

You know, can't even talk to the meat.

It doesn't even have enough fat on it to be respect worthy.

So it's just me, a cowboy, lone in his house

poor lonely stephen stuck without calla well

um so they're gonna go that they they start this this stupid trip and stephen picks up the guys and everything and then allie calls and she's like hi hi casey's upset cole needs to call her so

What a surprise.

She's upset.

And Ali's like, maybe you should have been trying to stay back too with your fiancé, by the way, that you're getting married to in two weeks.

I'm mad.

yeah so i mean look he's

you don't even live in the same house like

yeah who cares like literally who cares so jesse's like well casey let it slip to allie that we were going to nashville so maybe it's not the best way for her to find out yeah you should have told your you should have told your wife i guess

probably figured you didn't have to tell her because she's not going to be at the same house anyway maybe i don't know i think

coming up with excuses for jesse i just love him.

I don't care.

I love him so much.

I think you should tell your significant other if you're going on a trip somewhere.

So

Stephen's like, well, guess what?

We really do have meetings.

Okay.

We're sampling spices.

Okay.

We're going to be going to a Kroger out there and open up the McCormick jars and sticking our fingers in and seeing which one we like the most.

And they only sell them in that Kroger.

Okay.

So this is a real work trip.

But also the only reason

to give samples for spices is to sell the spices.

Why else would you give samples of a specific spice unless you were going to sell the spice?

Otherwise, it's just a waste of damn money, fool.

People know how to do it.

So is this yours?

Why don't you make like the McBee Spice Company at least?

Or is this like some deal where you're going to get 10% of their sales?

You're also the customer.

Why aren't they coming to you?

Yeah, none of this makes sense.

So

he's like, between Cole having a baby soon and Jesse getting married, this is our last chance to do something together before everything changes.

Nothing's going to change.

Cole's going to have a baby.

He's still going to go get wasted and asked for you and make out with whatever scraps you leave behind.

Jesse's going to still do the same damn thing.

Do you guys even work at this job?

I need to know, do you think they really work there?

Cole will still be punching hills for years to come.

Don't you worry.

Marriage doesn't necessarily change people.

I'm either doing babies.

They just make the

now.

We go to Jesse and Ellie's farmhouse, which I hate because for some reason, it's like Robin's like blue on every wall on the inside.

And Christy is like, Christy is there.

She's like, I'm frustrated.

Stephen should not have had the boys in position to leave you both.

You know I care a lot about how you the boys treat you.

They know better than that.

So it's heartbreaking for me to see because it's like their dad.

It's his bad example.

And Nashville for them only leads to drama.

Oh, well.

It really feels like a slap in the face.

Yeah, and I feel like I've changed so much.

And all I ask of Cole is to change a couple of things and he can't even do that to get ready for the baby.

Christy's like, yeah, well, I think, you know, if he doesn't make those changes, you might need to make some decisions on your own and leave my son because I'm teaching my sons how to respect women.

You'll start seeing evidence of that.

I'm not really sure when, but I've planted the seeds, kind of.

Well, I got the seeds.

I heard about it in the book.

I don't really know how to plant seeds.

Neither do my sons, actually.

First, I'm starting to teach my sons how to plant seeds.

We'll get to the women part later, girls, but I'll be working on it.

I will be.

Listen, I don't use conditioner in my hair, but I will condition my sons, and you can do it too.

And Casey says, I just don't want to be married to Steve McB, just his empire.

Well, no, you don't, because being married to Steve McBee, that's a long, hard, oh my God, not right now.

No, I wasn't going to say penis.

I mean, it is.

It is long, but it wasn't often hard.

Um, I forgot what we were talking about.

Respect women,

girls.

Let me give you a sneak preview of what it's like to be married to a McBee.

One moment you're married, another moment they're cheating on you.

You stick in that marriage for 25 years.

You have a whole bunch of sons, you just act like your husband, and then they go and they find a whole bunch of dumb, boring women that you have to sit there and pretend to talk to.

And they complain about it.

And you say,

Follow my example, and they don't follow.

And then you're stuck having more long, boring conversations with them in a stupid house with blue walls.

Hey,

I heard that.

No, just theoretically.

Just theoretically.

And these aren't just blue, these aren't just blue walls.

These are Deborah.

These are Deborah blue.

Now that's called Tiffany Blue, honey.

Now, I'm a Debbie fan.

I'm a Debbie fan.

So then we go to Alex.

Or Tiffany.

I go to Debbie.

It's like the Timmy Tiffany blue.

That's less than Kay.

It's less than Kay and Jared.

It's Debbie.

It's the Debbie Gibson blue.

Out of the blue.

Yeah.

So then Jesse is like, yeah, Cole had it rough this morning too from Casey.

Yeah, she gave me pretty strict instructions.

No following new girls on Instagram, which apparently I always do when I go on a trip.

I mean, God, Lord, I've changed my whole life.

Changed so much.

Now I can't even follow girls on Instagram.

What the hell?

I like that the instructions for Cole were like the same.

If they felt like the same instructions for attending to Gizmo and Gremlins.

okay if you want to have gizmo first rule is gizmo has to call casey before he goes to bed there can be no girls around gizmo and no drinking after midnight or before midnight yep and uh except cole never had the cute little part you know he's just always been the gremlin and you're like oh my god no one wants to take care of this thing overnight forget it Just imagine Cole driving a little pink Corvette.

I wouldn't be surprised if Cole had a personal rule not to ever get himself wet, though.

And based on how pale he is, I'm surprised he's ever been in the sunlight.

Yeah.

Well, I think that sounds pretty reasonable.

Now, Cole said he was coming down here with his brothers and Jake.

What's wrong with that?

And Casey said that is literally the worst group of people to be in Nashville with.

Isn't that hilarious?

Hilarious.

Yeah, well, she tends to

categorize.

She lumps us in the same category.

What do you say?

Hey, say it.

Cactus.

Cactus rise.

Cooked rise.

That's the cat rise.

The cat rise is us.

Yeah.

So is this when they're at the house now?

I'm confused.

I don't know where you are next.

Oh, the guys are just like, well, I guess we're going to be good for the women because, you know, Allie's going to be mad if she sees any girls on reels.

So I mean these guys are so stupid.

They all go to like cheat on their wives and get shit faced and then take Instagrams of each other doing it.

Although last season it was their dad who kept doing that.

He's like, okay, pose with these beautiful girls guys.

And then he'd take their picture and post it.

Why is it so funny that he's like, Allie's going to be mad if she sees any girls on reels?

Allie said that if she sees anyone on Periscope, she's going to raise a ruckus.

Allie was saying that if she hears a woman's voice voice on a clubhouse, she's going to get real angry.

She said, if I follow any more bands on my space, she's done with me.

So Brayden comes and he has a little friend named Johnny who has a bleached mullet.

So I like to, you know, I like to see the mullet like around and being zhuzhed in different ways.

Yeah, it's a nice touch.

And they tell him, like, no Instagram.

He's like, that's right.

No Instagram, no posting.

This won't even go on threads.

And Stephen's like, he's like, well, since we have a meeting, a real meeting with spices, Galena is going to be there because you know what?

We cannot taste the spices without the CFO being there.

So we're going to stay somewhere in Nashville.

She's somewhere here in Nashville.

And word on the street is that Masha is trying to come on down.

So everyone looks like the Russian roulette is going to keep on coming.

Galena is our spice girl.

Okay.

Psycho Spice is coming.

We need to watch out because Masha's here too.

So they sit around and talk.

And Jesse's Jesse's like, wow, this is a nice little last hoorah before the wedding.

Yeah, well, so I sense you're a little late in asking Allie to sign those pre-nup papers.

Did you have the pre-nup papers drawn up?

Are you going to...

Dude, stop trying to ruin his fucking relationship.

And their whole view on this is really weird, too, because they're like, he says, with a 67% or 72% divorce rate, whatever it is, if you don't sign a prenup, you almost have to get your name off everything because there's a good chance she'll take it.

So that's not true.

If they each own 10% of the company and he gets divorced, she would get the money from that company.

She doesn't necessarily become an owner of the company.

Or she may own some sort of percentage.

I don't know.

It doesn't matter.

She's not taking over the farm.

And why would she take over this stupid farm?

So Stephen's like, wait a second.

She would get some of his portion of it, which she should.

She's getting married to this man and having his children, presumably.

So give her her money.

I don't want to buy a jar of coriander and know that half of it belongs to Allie.

That is not fair.

So um by the way did y'all know that coriander is actually cilantro i feel disgusted and tricked and betrayed by words what cilantro exactly

in the 90s okay

i don't care about that fiancé sister

So Cole is like, yeah, if someone doesn't want to marry you for signing a prenup, that's kind of a big red flag.

So let's just set the rule now.

If you don't sign one, your name gets taken off the businesses because that could be a risk.

Oh, God forbid his name gets taken off the farm.

That's $6 trillion in debt and is under FBI investigation.

Exactly.

What a terrible thing to not be associated with this farm.

And if anybody is going to make anybody sign a prenup, Allie's going to make Jesse's broke ass sign a prenup.

You guys are in debt.

Your dad's going to jail, and she's got an actual career and a job, and she's going to school to even better her career.

So fuck you guys.

She should be making you sign a prenup.

And I hope to God that's the twist.

That she's like, Well, we need to have a talk.

I need you to sign a prenup.

Okay, because I'm not going to jail for you.

I'm not going into debt for you.

And you're not getting my money when you eventually cheat on me and leave me.

Okay.

Yeah.

And they've been like dating since they were like 11 years old.

So I think she's in it for the real reasons.

So then, um,

So Jesse is like, yeah, no, I don't know.

Oh, no.

So back up in Nashville.

So now a little bit later in the Nashville house here in McBee.

They're all hanging around and Stephen is like, has Allie called or texted yet wishing you a happy birthday, birthday, boy?

She is the most pessimistic person I've ever seen around a birthday.

I can't say that anymore.

I'm so angry.

No.

Well, a year from now, things will look a lot different.

Cole and maybe Jesse, they'll be changing diapers.

I'll be 31.

Isn't that wild?

Isn't that wild?

Yes.

It's mind-blowing.

Things will just be so radically different.

You'll be mind-blowing.

Yeah, it's mind-blowing.

Things didn't work out with Cala, the girl you met on

a dating show,

who you fight with and hate.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Things are going to look so, guys.

He's going to be 31.

Things are going to look so different around here.

This is like the last chance we'll be able to party while he's still 30.

I mean, if they can make it really work out so i do hope that he finds love soon though because he's only got a certain amount of time while his knees are still good i mean that is a huge man he's got a lot of muscle on there his knees are probably like

when he walks his knees are probably like ah some sight love

Yeah, he's like, you ever, you know, like in Saw, there's like Jigsaw.

You know, it's like, if we ever got to see Jigsaw in his youth, I think it would be Steven.

I think like, it's like, oh, Jigsaw had a good body at one point.

That's Steven right now.

Well, you see the bad episode, and you, and they, they, uh, actually, Tessa said in some episode, maybe last year, she's like, oh, Bob Smackin, that was a hardy.

He was a real hardy when he was younger.

You should have seen that body.

Give me body, give me body, give me body, give me body.

Body, outdy, yaddy, yaddy, hotty, yaddy, yaddy, yaddy.

And they really do have the same eyes, Stephen and the dad.

The same eyes, and the same trying to ruin everybody's life so that they're all on the same boat.

They've got a lot in common.

So I'm just saying, enjoy your 30s, Stephen, because you're about to start sledding down.

Sledding down, boy.

It's all downhill from here, which is why the Combine lost its tire.

So that's why it's good to like spend most of your life out of shape and making no effort.

Because then as you get older, you can even make like a tiny bit of effort and you're you improve as you get older you see yeah

absolutely so now we go over to this baby shower and um they're in some i don't know are they in like at the farm are they at someone's house every i feel like every interior on this show looks like a community center

this def this definitely had community center vibes for sure it's just like our study hall or something yeah so it's a water fountain

Yeah, it's

there's like a bulletin board with like events coming up, but it's actually their house.

Yeah, you're trying to have, you're trying to have a baby shower and there's like pictures of missing cats.

Oh, God.

It's like they've got to end the baby shower because there's going to be like a school dance later.

Oh, my God.

What a lovely card.

Wait, is this an invitation to water aerobics?

I'm sorry.

I got that off the board.

I got that off the board.

Sorry, we have to wrap up this baby shower.

There's going to be a senior salsa dancing lesson coming in here soon.

So

we see Grandma Vicki McBee, Steve Sr.'s mom, and she just looks, she's like, oh my God, hi, Christy.

Hi, Christy.

I just miss you so much.

I'm so sorry, Brian.

I mean, this woman is just a bag of regret.

She is so upset.

She's like, now I've got to deal with all these crazy Russians my son keeps bringing home.

and we have this lady who is she was this she was she was blonde isn't that good enough and now she's successful staticky as all hell yes but successful why why

yeah it's so great seeing steve's mom i missed her i did his family was like family to me and what he did it was not okay it was not okay it wasn't it wasn't

Down there

and there.

Over at Deacon Steakhouse, Steve Sr.

walks in to join all the boys.

It's a surprise thing because I did not think we'd ever see him because I thought he wasn't going to be on the show because of the FBI or who knows what, but he's here.

He's here on TV.

He made it.

And Stephen didn't tell any of the boys.

So it's a surprise.

It's a surprise.

You know, I know he's not perfect, but I love my dad and I love being around my dad.

And I love turning into my dad very, very slowly, inch by inch.

Turning into my dad.

The boys are all thrilled to see their dad, who who has been in hiding after running away from the show because we all know he's in trubs they really treat their dad like he's a star i mean it's that's nice you know it's nice when like the kids love their dad and everything but they act like it's like like they act like garth brooks just walked in and they're like oh my god it's dad come be be chill be chill okay it's dad it's dad okay all right who gets to sit next to dad oh my god i can't believe dad's here so he walks in and um then of course they start talking about galena because they know she's in nashville And of course, oh, how convenient.

They invited Galena to lunch.

And oh my God, they left a chair next to Steve for Galena.

Isn't that funny?

Stephen's like,

I'm going to bet.

Galena comes in and gets some bone marrow.

And Steve goes, 100%.

She sure is.

As Galena loves her marrow.

You know, she's going to get that.

Classic Galena with the bone marrow.

Am I right, everyone?

That's so Galena.

What do you want to bet?

She takes this open chair it's right by you dad that we left open for you what do you want to bet she's going to take that one there's no other chair

chair

don't make stupid bets like that

hey dad what do you want to bet that galena take this open chair instead of sitting at a whole separate table what do you think

I'll bet she sits right on top of the table and asks for bone marrow.

So Galena comes in.

She's like, hee hee hee hee hee.

Hello, boys.

Hello.

Hello, boys.

Hello, Stephen Sr.

Hello.

Oh, what's fancy meeting you here, huh?

Well, there's duck, but you know, you know, we, we betting on you either getting tuna tar tar or bone marrow, because that's Galena coded, ain't I?

All right, boys.

Could you try not to ruin your stupid bet?

Could you at least just let her make the decision first?

I mean, you're trying to guess if she's going to get the bone marrow and you say, we were guessing you were going to get the bone marrow.

Don't just,

you ruined it.

Yeah.

Well, I need Galena right now through this FBI investigation.

But her biggest trigger, you know, she's doing a great job.

She lost us the

hedge fund deal and then possibly aided my dad in insurance fraud.

So we really need her.

I mean, this business is doing great because of Galena.

So, you know,

unfortunately, her big trigger is Masha.

So I'm trying to, I took a marker and I.

Scribble that, the mashed potatoes option on the menu, you know, just because she might read it as Masha with her accent.

The last thing we need to do is pay for any missing chickens in this restaurant or broken windows.

Well, I guess I will have the baked potato and cut it up myself.

Oh, I hope, do they have chicken here?

I sent them special birds ahead of time.

Ginger bird.

I hope you have the special today, Stephen.

I brought it special for you.

Ginger chicken.

You You will love it.

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So, meanwhile, up at the dullest baby shower in the history of humans,

Casey and her friends, Casey and the Rainshine Band, basically, they're playing some stupid game.

Like, guess what?

The price is for a bid.

$35,

$600,

12 cents.

It's like, oh, my God.

An eight-pack of baby wipes is $20.

What kind of world are we living in?

And Tess is like, an eight-pack?

I'll tell you something.

I thought they was talking about one little baggie of YPs.

Oh, my God.

It was an eight-pack of YPs.

That's worth the Marat ladies.

This is why you always got to wrap up your dribbled door, if you know what I'm saying.

You'll be in the porrow soon enough.

That part made me laugh so hard.

So now, guys, special announcement.

We're getting a person I've been requesting for weeks.

Aunt Darla, Uncle Jimmy's wife is here.

Here she is.

Darla, Darla.

All I hear is Darla, Darla, Darla.

It's great to have you here, honey.

Tell us what you've been up to.

Yeah, well, Jimmy had mentioned that

the boys might go to Nashville, Christy.

That's what I heard from Jimmy.

Well, God, I'm glad you're here.

You really are the life of the party darling now i get worried when the boys are with steve because they never you know they're never just about spending time with the boys it's always about steve looking cool because of that you know and i don't think he wants them in solid relationships he wants to have them around for partying and hanging out what do you think of that darla darla's like

wets baby wipes

20

That's what I think.

I think that's highfalutin highway robbery is what I think.

Hey, do you think there's any more of those Entomon donuts in the back?

Those were delicious.

Then we go back to Deacons.

Sorry, Darla, you brought the show down.

I believe you, Darla.

Darla.

I mean, your Q rating went through the floor dead.

Yeah.

I really thought she was going to be much more exciting than that.

So back at Deacons.

I wonder if...

If you get fries there, they're called Deacon Fries.

That's going to be a deep cut for someone.

There'll be one person who wants to look at that joke.

and I'm not gonna explain it.

Star was drinking water.

I was drinking water.

Did you actually get my joke?

My saddest thing you could ever do on a podcast.

Did you get my joke?

Yeah, I got it.

I just couldn't laugh.

I was drinking with my Zenville.

Anywho, so Galena, um,

she's like, Oh,

Jesse, it's your birthday.

Oh,

I know, and

Jesse, I know,

yeah, they got a party bus.

Oh, oh, I know.

That's so cool.

I'm glad they got a party bus.

By the way, you know what's funny about these idiots?

They literally got a party bus.

It's like literally, it's a school bus that they party on.

Yeah.

So, Galena, do you feel I'm not going to start any trouble here?

I'm just going to try and start some trouble.

So, Galena, do you feel any better after talking to my mom, Christy, who was also fucked over by Steve Sr., who you just happened to be sitting next to because you chose the chair that I predicted you would choose?

Tell us how that meeting went.

Yeah.

I'm grateful we found a connection.

And by connection, it was more like I said, I'm so glad I got to see you.

And she said, shut the fuck up and just be nicer to my son.

That was cool.

Well, some moves take longer to heal than other wounds, but I'm happy you guys got to talk.

And everyone basically adulted up and said, you know what?

We are not the wronged ones in this situation.

We are women and we have no right to complain about nothing.

So I'm glad you guys had that in common.

Good times.

Meanwhile, back up at that little ladies' event, Christie is still talking to Darla.

He is such a hypocrite.

And Darla's like,

he said that he does love you and will always love you.

And that's what matters the most.

No matter how much a guy treats you wrong, if he loves you, all that matters is that because we're women and we just have to receive the love.

Yeah.

So Christy is like, well, I believe that he loves me as much as he's capable of loving a person, but I want more than that for the boys.

I want more than that for my boys.

That's why I just, everything they do, I say, you did a good job.

You did a good job, honey.

And so then we go back, and Steve Sr.

flirts very heavily with Galena.

He goes, So,

did you like the duck?

Oh my god, Kaliente Aki.

Sorry.

Mash has been blowing up my phone.

One second.

One second.

I'm getting a lot of text.

Hold on.

I'm going to.

I'm just going to leave.

Okay.

Okay.

So, um,

hey, y'all, the ketchup is ringing.

Can someone take that to dad?

Take that to dad.

How she found a way to communicate through the ketchup bottle.

Guys, I want to do another bit.

How much do you want a bit that the phone in front of my dad that is buzzing the most is my dad's phone?

Who wants the best bet?

Okay.

It's my, that's,

I don't want to take that bit.

The producer asks Galena, how, are you having a good time with Steve?

And then Masha starts freaking out.

She's like, I love it, stupid bitch.

So he leaves.

Steve Sr.

leaves and goes to the bathroom.

And they, of course, have a microphone.

His microphone is off, but they still get, they capture audio.

and he's like what the are you doing texting me like that when i'm in the middle of dinner with 15 other people you said no pressure this is the most pressure i've ever seen you need to disrespect my time with my sons you're a woman and you're calling during man time that's not right okay i don't have time for this also i'm about to take a dump so how you like that He's such an idiot.

I mean, this is literally lines from the first season that he said to Galena.

He gets these women, then he's like, okay, you want everything with me?

You want to be part of my business, raise my kids, do everything.

You want to walk along the combine for the rest of our lives, but I don't want no pressure because I'm still open.

I ain't never going to be busted around by another woman in my life.

And then thinks that they go, okay.

So that means that he never has to do anything that they say or treat them with any kind of respect.

That's this fucking guy.

It's always the same thing over and over.

Like, what do you think Masha's going to do?

You know, the producers told her that you're in Nashville with Galena.

What do you think she's going to do?

Of course.

So

he does all this thing and he comes back to the table.

He's like, we're all good.

But of course, his phone is still going off.

And they're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

So now they go to their party bus, which, as I said before, is an actual bus with the roof sort of chopped off.

I mean, it's fun.

What can I say?

I'm being a dick, but it's fun.

And

they are riding around.

And Jake is asking, Jake is like, so how are you feeling about the wedding, Jesse?

And Jesse's all nervous.

He's really nervous about this wedding that he doesn't have to do anything for.

Yeah.

And Stephen's like, not much is changing.

You're all pretty much married already.

What's the difference?

What's the difference going to be?

Except that she's going to take over this entire company once she divorces your stupid ass, unless you have her time to bring it up.

So Jesse.

You can't just, you can't say not much is changing when you just had a hissy fit.

Everything is changing.

This is the last time we get to do a thing like this.

Everything is changing.

And it's like, well, not much is changing if you think about it.

Yeah, the wedding can only be stressful to Stephen, really.

So Jesse's, Jesse's like, oh, God, I'm stressed out now because everybody around me is talking about prenups and divorce.

So yeah, it's kind of stressful.

I wasn't even thinking about that part.

Well, this is my first time single in Nashville.

So whatever happens, happens.

Great.

So Carl checks his phone and he's got 40 missed calls today.

Well, you have literally done nothing wrong.

Put your phone back in the pocket.

Do you want me to get the law out of my pocket?

Here you go.

Let's scan the law.

No mention of spice.

It's not against the law.

Okay.

You are doing something lawful and searching for spice.

You are doing nothing wrong.

I mean, 44 missed calls.

I mean, so you have a girlfriend who's pregnant.

44 missed calls.

What could it possibly be?

Oh, maybe there's a complication.

Maybe she went into labor.

Maybe she died in pregnancy.

Who knows?

You couldn't have done it.

I'm like,

answer the damn call.

Who knows what's what's on the other end of that?

How is he not answering a call from his pregnant fucking girlfriend?

I mean, what is wrong with these guys?

Like, I can't.

So then

now they're like nightclubbing, and we just see Cole taking shot after shot after shot after shot.

And he's talking to some blonde girl at the bar.

And

he's like, oh, I'm having a girl.

She goes, are you excited?

He goes, yeah, she's going to be my little buddy.

She's going to be my everything.

My everything.

And then he just starts going, they're all getting drunk.

We see Cole getting drunker and drunker.

And then all of a sudden he starts going, USA, USA, USA.

You're not at the Olympics.

You're at a bar.

Do people in other countries do that?

Are there people who are like England, England, England, England?

Okay, I'll have another fireball.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Someone goes to the most touristy bar in a city in their country, and starts shouting their country.

I don't think that happens.

You guys, we know where we are.

Like, could you turn location on in this bar?

Nope.

USA.

Where the fuck did you people think you were two seconds ago?

Although, to be fair, if they filmed this in 2024, there was a chance the Olympics were happening, but I'm pretty sure this is like in October or something.

So I think that's a good thing.

They made it seem like Cole was just like, loop, loop, USA.

And everybody joined in.

I think it's just one of those things you can do in a country bar to feel community.

I think so.

I think so.

So, um, so then we go back to Jesse and Allie's city house.

It's the next day.

We're in Jesse and Allie's City House.

The distant sound of subways rumbling by, taxi cabs honking.

There's a bum on the corner.

Panhander change.

Caroline drawing like, you know, comic book art or greeting card art or whatever the fuck.

If you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of a puddle splashing on Carrie Bradshaw's dress.

So

Casey is getting her makeup done for her maternity photo and Holly, Holly's doing

her look and everything.

And she's like, you know, for some reason, I thought Cole was going to be here for the shoot today.

So, you know, wonder where he is, huh?

Don't want to rub salt into wounds, but...

Anyway, you want to talk about that?

He was supposed to originally, but he's in Nashville, though.

What's he doing in Nashville?

I think it's a work thing, something about spice.

I don't know.

I just don't know.

Oh, my gosh.

Missing the maternity shoots.

Pretty bad.

That's pretty bad.

I don't like this.

It's shitty.

I mean, look, I don't really get the whole maternity shoot thing in the first place.

I'm not going to lie.

I know it's a thing.

I know it's like...

It's not even, I know there's no controversy.

It's not like a gender reveal.

It's just something that happens now.

I personally just don't get it.

I don't know why you have to have these cheesy ass photos well we don't have to get it yeah well it's like it's not it's a pregnancy event you're supposed to be there for pregnancy but i know it's like you're it's you're doing it to together and like if you're gonna say you're gonna do it then you do it and if you were willing to draw a line before about a baby moon draw a line around the maternity test i mean it's just spices and by the way we never see them taste spices which is hilarious we just see them do you see it in like a one second flashback that was the thing i was looking forward to the most Yeah, they showed up for one second.

We see Galena being like, oh, that tastes like honey.

I'm like, after all this talk, we don't even get to see the spices.

Aren't you trying to promote your spices?

Come on, guys.

So then we go back to the boys, and it's the next day.

And dun, dun, dun, there's a woman's boot in the kitchen.

And so Stephen's like, Jesse, wait, Jesse, are these your boots?

He's like, no, I just, you just keep working your way up those stairs.

We've got eight floors of one bedrooms in here.

So good luck.

We've got eight different McBees.

So just go from the next.

It's like Goldilocks, I swear to God.

Going from each room, it's like, is it Cole?

Hey, Cole's, are these yours?

Are these your boots?

And then it's like, does Cole have a lady in his room?

Knock, knock, knock.

He doesn't.

He was a good boy.

That's good news.

I mean, mostly for Casey, but especially for the reputation of women in Nashville.

Honestly, especially for the reputation of Americans after all that USA chanting.

Yeah.

You know,

after spending time getting wasted in a bar screaming USA, USA, you can't just like celebrate mediocrity, like crawling into bed with coal.

Exactly.

You know, the most patriotic thing you could do is not sleep with coal.

That's a bipartisan thing.

That brings MAGA and lefties together.

Don't go near Cole.

Don't

be equally grossed out by Cole.

That's across the aisle.

Yeah.

So finally, we go all the way up to the very tippy-tippy top and it's Brayden, the youngest McBee, who got it.

And no word on if his mullet, his mulleted friend was involved.

We don't see him, but Braden got some.

So good for him.

Braden got some.

And he had a friend there, much like Imruel's friends.

She got an arrow, but we never saw her face.

Yeah, and so Steve, Stephen comes over.

Wait, no, I'm sorry, the dad comes over later.

But they're talking about the wives, and Cole's like, oh, no, but I do forget to call Casey, so I'm in trouble because she's not happy with me.

Dun dun.

So we go back to the photo shoot, and Cole FaceTimes, he's like, you look so good, babe.

I'm sorry I forgot to call.

I'm kind of sad.

And Allie takes it.

She's like, you should be sad.

What, isn't she a snack?

Look at her.

Hottest fucking pregnant woman in the world.

A semi-truck just called and tried to pull her into it.

I mean, human trafficking has never looked so sexy, and you're missing everything.

Loser.

Now, Allie, you have to really be careful with your words because if you say that Casey's a snack to Cole, he might literally try to eat her.

So just really, let's use that.

That's all you had to say in the first place.

You should have just said Casey's a snack.

He would have been there.

Just say, doesn't she look like you could find her on a shelf at 7-Eleven?

He'd be like, wait a second.

Also, by the way,

okay, the call before going to bed.

I don't, how do you forget that?

Like, honestly, even if you're wasted, I feel like you still can remember to like text your loved one.

Well, especially after a whole day of ignoring the calls from your pregnant girlfriend.

Exactly.

Like, I, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm away, I always text Dom before bed, like, good night.

I hope you had a great day.

Whatever.

Like, you just, you just do it.

It's like, it should be part of your, I feel like, look, my relationship is different than other people's relationships, but I just feel like it's like part of the normal routine.

Like, it's just what you do, you know?

Yeah, every night before I go to bed, I'm like, Beula, are you okay?

Yeah, Cole probably was texting a hillside.

They're like, Sorry, I hit you.

Um, so Allie, bullshit.

So, whatever.

She has snack.

So, now, um, Brayden's broken the bed, y'all.

The brothers sneak up to spy on Brayden and this girl, and they see that he's broken the bed, and they sneak downstairs laughing.

And Steve Sr.

comes out, and Jake's like, oh, hell, hi, balls, man.

You're going to need a new bed.

He's like, all right, just be respectful when she comes out of here because one thing I'm teaching my boys is to respect women.

Right?

So she comes through.

They say hi.

She walks out.

And

she has her boots back.

So then Stephen's like, hey, oh, sorry.

No, son, you say this instead.

Hey, look what I saw on Instagram.

It's Masha.

See where she is?

Look at that.

And it's like Masha has taken a photo with like the big, that big Batman building in the background of Nashville.

See, now this is how you terrorize someone.

Janet was in such a snit about Zach on the Valley posting by text, like, oh, I'm in, I'm in Big Bear.

The way you really do it is you drive out to Big Bear and they take the picture, Zach.

That's how you, that's, that's that, following Masha's lead.

Yeah.

Wait, you're kidding me?

She's in Nashville.

I said, if he doesn't know, and they're like, come on, you mean she was here.

No, I swear I've not responded to a text or a call from her, except for yesterday when I went to the bathroom and screamed at her.

Nobody heard me, surely.

They're like, yeah, whatever.

Nobody believes him.

And he's like, well, she did call me and said that no one can tell me where me or my friends can be.

So I guess she did it after all.

Wait a minute.

Something's going on outside.

Is there something going on with my truck?

And

we find out that the window is busted.

Masha strikes.

Windows busted.

All the trucks have their windows busted in.

Fun fact, it was not Masha.

It was actually my telepathic rage, and it finally worked after 13 years of watching Bravo.

I was finally able to shoot my rage through a TV screen and break some windows.

I think, well, I mean, it was either Masha or Galena trying to flame Masha or trying to frame Masha.

What do you think?

Yeah.

I

think

it was.

I think it was Masha.

I think this one was...

This one felt like a Masha crime.

You know, Galena is more of a, Galena goes after the woman.

Masha's going to go after the boys, I think.

Well, Galena did go after cars, though, in the past, because remember, she smashed the car up through.

So I don't know, but you're right.

She did go after.

Well, I don't know.

I don't know.

It's a little bit of a drink.

Galena got dinner.

Galena was welcomed into the fold.

She got to sit with Steve.

So she's feeling like high and mighty.

And Masha is the one who's feeling on the outs at the moment.

So Masha is, I think this is a

Masha vandalism.

And also, she's on the scene, as we find out later.

She literally pops up right there.

She's got like bloody, like bloody knuckles.

Means motive opportunity.

Yeah, she comes in.

She's like, hello, boys.

I was just playing some baseball outside.

What a game.

USA.

USA.

I will talk to dad.

Goodbye.

You stay down here, good boys.

Masha loves you.

Chakus on the beach.

How you leave me like this alone?

By the way, how does she know where they even were?

So that's their Nashville house.

Everybody knows where the Nashville house is.

Oh, that's their Nashville house?

Yeah.

I thought it was an Airbnb.

No, they have a Nashville house.

They're so broke, man.

They just can't pay their debts.

So they got a big party house in Nashville.

I know she's here.

I know she's here.

And he goes, she came for a spouse meeting.

You need to be tolerant.

She came for a spouse meeting.

Okay?

Fannel, ever hear of it?

It comes in seed form.

she was there for that

so she's like okay well uh

you flew all the way here you're crazy with spice she goes okay you son of bitch i killed you in your sleep you'll never live again you'll not have these left when i'm telling you goodbye boys good to see you see you happy birthday jazz goodbye

She comes out all cheery.

They just have this big argument upstairs.

Like, well, I gotta get going.

I told Mash I'd meet her behind a dumpster.

We'd fuck.

Yeah, so he immediately skedaddles.

She was like, you get the fuck outside right now.

It's like, okay, boy, see you later.

So they leave.

They get back to the farm.

It's like 6 a.m.

the next day.

I guess they did an overnight drive, a long drive.

They get in.

Everyone's, of course, awake and hanging out.

And I'm like, oh, well, that was sort of a fun episode.

Little did I realize there were still 10 minutes left.

I'm just sitting around this farmhouse.

Literally, the rest of the episode is them sitting around this farmhouse.

Yeah.

so cole and jesse come in and casey and allie are there and cole's like never doing that again never invite me there again are you all gonna say hi to me or what and case like oh you're here i was just talking to allie oh you didn't miss me she's like no i didn't miss you like how come i just didn't He goes, wow, even the baby kid, the baby just kicked me.

She's like, that's not the only one this family wants to kick you in the head.

Cole,

the baby just thought you were a hillside.

So then we go to our coffee shop and Stephen and Christy walk in.

They're sitting there.

They're going to have mother-daughter.

Mother-son talk.

I lied.

I forgot.

There was also a coffee shop in this past 10 minutes, in the final 10 minutes.

So Stephen is like, so are we good with Casey and Allie now?

And Christy's like, yeah, well, as long as your Nashville days are over, you're never allowed to go to Nashville ever again the rest of your life.

And he's like, I mean, we really did have a meeting one of those days.

I mean, we really did have to, we have to try spices.

And, you know, spices and seasonings, that's an important meeting, spices and seasonings.

Everyone knows when I got my MBA, you have to learn about spices and seasonings.

Mother, you're the most pessimistic person I ever met about spices and seasonings.

I didn't mean it to morph into a guy's trip, but it conveniently worked that way.

It was, you know,

before the wedding, before Jesse's birthday weekend.

Yeah, well, I view it differently because I view it as a horrible timing with a wedding, a shower, a photo shoot.

I mean, you might be single now, but Cole and Jesse are very much not.

And I don't agree with the position you put everyone in.

I need you to be a better example for your brothers.

Now, mother, we did not need to be there for the baby shower.

No, I wasn't talking about baby showers saying that was Cole scheduled once every two weeks shower.

Okay, we bought him new soap.

God forbid I be social.

She goes, that's not what I said.

Now, you literally just told me I have no social life without my brothers.

You know what?

Like I said to see my house as a prison sentence because Jesse's getting married and Cole's having a baby, but because I'm single, I have to now be a hermit.

Well, that was the most tame Nashville trip and I do nothing wrong.

No, you just have to like go make friends or get some life outside of your brothers and stop dragging everybody into your bullshit just like your father.

Your mother's right, sir.

Listen, you snowflake.

Okay.

Just

saying that he's got a wedding coming up.

He's got a baby on the way.

And now is not the time for you guys to be gallivanting all around Nashville, especially on the heels of you having a hissy fit about harvest season and you you can't go on a baby moon.

So shut the fuck up.

And also, you weren't just like taking

a go jerk off on a wet corner.

Also, you didn't just take them like out of love in your heart.

You made them go as your, as their boss.

That's different too, you know, little asshole.

So he gets really mad and his eyes get really mean, just like his dad's when he gets mad.

He has mean eyes.

And Christy's like, well, you're just frustrated over your situation with Calla and you're taking that out on me.

And he's like, well, at least she's around all her friends and her family.

And here I am living in isolation, five miles from the nearest neighbor.

I mean, God forbid I go to Nashville.

I'm a horrible person.

I mean, don't we just, I guess we won't go there anymore then.

Don't worry.

I'm just like, okay,

I'm going to take this mock off because you are going to respect me.

I will not have you talk to me like that.

Do you understand me?

I'm going to take my 19,000 calorie milkshake that I'm drinking in whatever kind of shop that we're in.

They know that thing.

I was like, I'm just the liberty of lattes with me.

It's like, how is this woman so thin?

It looked like an arm.

It looked like a full arm filled with just cream.

Delicious.

She was, it looked delicious.

She also looked like she was like doing an off-camera bet with someone.

She's like, they're like, Chrissy, I bet you can't even go to Darla's coffee shop and drink a full-size double cream latte.

She's like, I bet I can't.

I will do it.

And she orders it and she's like staring at it the whole time and like total fear.

Like, you can do it, Christy.

You can do it.

So he's like, Oh, God.

She goes, I'm not going to let you treat me like this.

And he says, You're the one talking to me, mother.

She goes, Well, maybe that needed to happen.

Now, excuse me.

You know what?

I'm going to finish this in the car, Maisie.

It was good to see you.

He's all mad.

He's like, I can't believe mother's hit.

I can't go to Nashville anymore.

Do you know?

And by the way, this bullshit, like, do you know how hard it is?

I live five miles from the nearest neighbor.

Whose fault is that?

Whose fault is that?

You chose.

He's resentful because he's left to run the company and he's like stuck as a prisoner for this company that's failing.

And he's the only educated one.

And he has to share everything with his brothers who really don't have any brains.

And he's like the brains behind the operation.

The only trouble is your

operation is failing because of you.

Like you're a big part of that.

So like you can't really resent anybody for having to live there when you're failing.

Like if you're rich and you start making them money, then you can leave, but you can't like pull a check for like going and living a rock star life in Dallas or whatever you want.

Like make up your mind.

Five miles in the country is like five minutes, by the way.

Five miles in Los Angeles is an hour.

Five miles in Gatlin, wherever they are, Gallatin.

That's going to be five minutes.

So I really don't want to hear it.

Okay.

Well, he basically said in the first episode of season one, he was talking about how like he's stuck here to help the family business.

And there's literally nobody to date because everybody's married or they've known each other since middle school, like his brothers and their girlfriends, you know?

So there's no one to date.

There's no one on Tinder.

Like you go on Tinder and it's like 80 miles away.

And so he has to go like to Dallas to meet anybody.

And there's nobody close.

And that's why he stays with Cala because that's like literally all he has.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So cry for him, Ben.

Feel for him.

Okay.

He's

so bad for him.

Suffering.

I feel so

bad for him.

Sorry.

So

now we go to Jesse and Ali's farmhouse because they're still all sitting there.

And Jesse is like, we retired Nashville.

And Ali's like, good, but you're really done for a while.

And he's like, forever.

And Cole goes, ever.

And Casey goes, why?

I mean, I mean, I'd go back just to, you know, and she goes, but why no no you won't but I'm wondering why you're saying that you won't go back he's like because I thought you guys would like to hear me say that I wouldn't go back I thought see I mean I will go back but I thought what would be nice would be if I said I wouldn't go back because that way it would be a lie but it'd make you smile and ladies need to smile I'm just trying to make you less mad at me.

She's like, well, you might as well be honest, not say never, because we know six months you're going to go.

He's like, well, for one, I don't have any upcoming Nashville trips.

well but you know like how you said at the lake you're never drinking again and then you was drinking he's like well but between the time of the lake to nashville i didn't drink so that was two weeks

yeah

oh Sometimes I feel like nothing I ever say is right.

I'm like, because it isn't right.

And you should just stop speaking.

Yeah, that's the one thing you're correct about.

Nothing you ever say is right.

It's like, hey, y'all hear that Brayden found a girlfriend.

He's in love.

Oh, yeah.

Was that the only girl around?

Yeah, you lying.

I mean, Mac and Johnny had girls.

Why is this episode still going?

Why is this?

Because they have girls.

Everyone's about to have girls.

And it's like, I can't tell my friends what to do.

She's like, you can just answer.

He's like, well, I'm tired of fighting and being accused of things that I did.

She's like, well, I'm tired of having to set boundaries and get ignored.

You know, I've just did a baby shit by myself in the corner.

Hey, you guys ever wonder what Steven's up to?

Maybe he's sitting in a coffee shop somewhere feeling sad because mom just sort of told him off by walking out a little bit.

And they're like, Yeah, let's go over there.

So there's Steven sitting alone next to his giant Burge Dubai of coffee.

And he's

and it's like, bling, bling, Cala saying, hey, it's like, done, dun, dun, Cala's coming back.

And like, this is supposed to be like a big shocking thing, but it's not shocking when we saw her packing up her stupid vase full of flowers last episode.

Like, you you got to make us miss them before you bring them back.

Yeah.

No one is surprised.

Okay, no one is surprised.

So that was it.

The Big McB Dynasty, guys.

Hope it all works out.

God,

maybe this time it'll work out for Stephen and Kyla.

Time will tell.

Jeez, just give it another shot, you crazy kids.

Next week, it looks like Cole is getting down on one knee and

giving Casey

some sort of popsicle ring or whatever.

I guess he's going to pop the question.

Let's see if he pops a prenup as well, because he was pretty judgy about that prenup today.

So let's see if he tries to drop that.

Casey will beat his ass.

Let's see.

Yeah.

Thanks, everyone, for being here.

Love talking to your Ronnie.

And we'll be back with the Valley on the next episode.

Bye, everybody.

You deserve a bonus compliment.

Why not?

Sweet.

Bye.

Bye.

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