#2959 McBee Dynasty S02E06: Heart of Cole

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Hello and welcome to Watch What's Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love.

I'm Ben Mandelker.

Joining me in sty recovery is the one and only Ronnie Karam.

I swear it's always something over here. Little mini eye surgery today.
No bigs. They just flipped my eyelid upside down and cut into it.
What the hell? Well, I am just happy that you still have one eye left to be able to see your very first mountain, just like Casey dynasty. I just want to see a mountain.
So, um, make B dynasty. It's back.
It continues. And we're talking about it today, but by the way, in case you missed it, we did Amazon live this week.
It was so fun. You can still go check out, uh, that broadcast that we did.
And, uh, we made some really fun recommendations and I highly recommend you looking at our recommendations and we'll be back in two weeks with that. This coming week we have on Monday crappy hour at five 30 Eastern Western, I should say Pacific eight 30 Eastern.
And then we have dwell hello this week. And a lot of people have been buzzing about the latest house hunters episode, which featured a cougar, a cougar and her cub.

And so we recapped it, and it was

really fun. So keep an eye and ear out

for that on Wondery Plus. Plus, of course,

Patreon is where you get to watch

us, not just listen. You can look at Ronnie taking

a nice big gulp. I'm so jealous.
I have

what I would call

cotton mouth at the moment, because I

keep hydrated, y'all.

I am dehydrated, and that's keep hydrated. Keep hydrated, y'all.
I am dehydrated

and

that's just life. But anyway,

you know what else is life?

McBee Dynasty because

you know what? They've got a lot of living to do.

These yokels.

So let's get into it, shall we?

Let's do it. This is

McBee Dynasty Season 2 Episode

6. Never seen a rock so big.
That's funny. That's a funny title.
I cannot believe how excited that girl was to see a mountain. I mean, mountains are beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, but girl like aim higher. You know what I mean? I can.
I mean, she technically a mountain is a very high aim she aimed she aimed high it's true but wow cole really talk about men on bravo getting away with doing the least you know and people say this show doesn't belong on bravo it's about a bunch of people it's as far as bravo blah blah blah blah blah blah this show is about piece of shit men who do the bare minimum and get by. That is Bravo's brand.
What are you talking about? This is like made for Bravo. Yes, except for the fact that it's a terrible show.
So anyway, it opens up and we have just been at the O's. You are entitled wrong opinion.
No, I, I'm very happy for the people that love it. So, uh, we, I wish them well.
So, uh, we, the opening sequence, Missouri farmland, all the good stuff. Yeah.
I don't know. There have been some entertaining episodes.
I thought last week was pretty entertaining. I wish them a bath them a bath I wish them so many things I wish them one I wish them to understand how the fuck to deal with their stupid fucking combine they're so busy driving it slowly through the street getting an erection off their big machine that they a crash into other combines or b don't forget to put the wheels on properly what is wrong with these people you handle combines professionally and you wheels don't just fall off of vehicles sirs and ma'am their combines are an extension of what they want their penis to be you know it's a man thing man thing.
It's like, oh, look at me driving a combine. They don't know how to drive them.
They fuck them up every single time. It's kind of like those guys with Teslas.
Have you seen any of the videos with the guys with the Tesla trucks? Who are like, yeah, I've got a Tesla truck. I'm going to show you how it takes down a picket fence.
And they start all the way at the end of the picket fence and they gun the gas. And then the, well, you know what I mean? They gun the car and then it speeds over the electric fence thing by thing.
And then they show under the Tesla truck and it's all punctured and ruined and leaking and shits flying everywhere. It's the McBee kids with their combines.
Yeah. That sounds like also content that Jax Taylor will be making now that he's no longer on the valley that's gonna be his next evolution tesla tesla manliness content so i'm rising from the flames oh oh please don't get in my way oh oh i'm reaching higher planes oh oh oh no one here is reaching higher planes uh ever not even casey even though she gets to see a mountain today she's not going on a higher plane um so we're at jesse and ali's house and cole and casey come by they're gonna have some takeout and uh they're gonna have some lunch and they're gonna gossip about their trip to the ozarks where they all got wasted And Casey is like, you missed out on a wholesome family trip.

Wouldn't you say so? and they're going to gossip about their trip to the Ozarks where they all got wasted. And Casey is like,

you missed out on a wholesome family trip.

Wouldn't you say so, Kyle?

He's like, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He doesn't remember.

It's like, yeah, well, I would like to see a video

because I never felt it also.

I wouldn't mind seeing Kyle's ass twerking like that.

God, she really knows how to twerk that girl right in my face.

Ooh, I would take it all day long. You need to to see a video hills don't have cameras on their phone okay and that was the real abused person on that trip the hill that you tried to meet up he's stupid so then um we see flashbacks of things going on and calab being like cole you little bitch and uh you know then we go back to the present and casey's like we were at uh backwater jackson cole was the drunkest i ever seen him in my entire life i doubt that um yeah but i don't doubt that he's drunk just that she's never seen it yeah right so um cole um and cole's like well just so when you do everything right and you just sit there and you're trying to tell everybody in casey goes you better calm down unless you want you want a terrible night like Damn, well, it just sucks when you do everything right.
And you just sit there and you're trying to tell everybody.

And Casey goes, you better calm down unless you want a terrible night.

Like, damn, I love pregnant Casey.

God, I wish for her in season one.

Because season one, she's just like, whatever.

And this time she kind of acts like that.

But then she's like, sit down.

I said sit down.

And by the way, Cole is like, it just sucks when you do everything right. What did you do right exactly? You went out of town, you got shit-faced, you got twerked on, you said you wanted to eat your boyfriend's girlfriend's ass in front of your pregnant girlfriend, and then you beat up a hill.
So please name when you started doing things right. Well, he put that wheel on the Kanban right.
Oh, wait. So then in case...
You're a real nipple dribbler over there. You're a real bean dribbler.
Dribbled or. You're a real dribbled or over there.
They got that dribbled or around that one. Yeah, we didn't get her today, did we? No, instead we got the stupid scene with them eating jersey mics and talking about hozarks were crazy like great thanks no hozarks were crazy my children were out there trying their best to do what they can and then some whore twerked on cole's face and almost ruined their baby's childhood I'm not sure that this family can get along at all.

And between the one Targaryen that's up there in the large

and the other Targaryen that's getting drunk

and the other Targaryen that's angry at both of them,

I don't know if this Game of Thrones is ever going to work out in the first place.

Game of Dribbledores.

Yeah, seriously. So, Cole's like, well, it's just awkward.
It's just awkward for me because I'll keep getting yelled at by everybody. It's awkward for me when I'm the one dating the drunkest guy at the fucking bar making a fucking fool out of himself.
That's what's fucking awkward awkward. Okay? So then Cole was like, well, good thing we live in a free country.
Anyway, they should cancel Stephen Colbert. Oh, sorry, what'd you say? Anyway, they should cancel Stephen Colbert.
Thank God we live in a free country. Get Stephen Colbert off my TV now.
calla was standing over steven straddling him and twerking and uh so it's a liberal use of the word twerk i would say it's more like calla was bent over and she was sort of thrusting the air with her upper back maybe half an inch. She was trying to scratch the bottom of her spine on a tree.
That's what it looks like. Like a cat being like...
It looked like she was playing some weird bachelorette party game where she had a post-it on her butt and she had to apply it to the bottom of a table. And so she did it.
She was trying to unpin... she was trying to unpin the tail from the donkey is what she was trying to do but she pinned it onto her butt donkey i don't know what that word means but i've been told liberals like to say it so um we see flashbacks of all of that stuff and all the fights and all that good stuff.

And so Cole's like, well, and then she went on to say that Stephen hadn't had to work for anything in his life.

And mom pays for everything for him.

I mean, what kind of woman would say something, something true like that?

And Casey's like, well, it was the worst fight I've ever seen in my life.

OK, that's a lie, too.

Casey, why is everything the most today?

You know, he was the druggist he's ever been. That was the worst fight I ever seen in my life.

Have a lie too. Casey, why is everything the most today? He was the drungest he's ever been.
That was the worst fight I've ever seen in my life. Haven't you been to jail? I saw pictures of her, like mug shots of her, but I want to know why she went.
What did she get arrested for? I hope it was like drunken disorderly. She tried to climb a stack of paper towels at Costco because she thought it was her first mountain.
I just want to go to the mountains. She's drinking a Mountain Dew crying.
Like, oh my God, finally I'm here. Finally here.
She's looking at a stack of Coors with binoculars at the the supermarket. Like I found it.
I found the mountains. So, uh, Jesse, um, uh, yeah.
So Jesse shows up and, uh, or Jesse's there and he, and she's like, yeah. And then, and then she comes up, they enter such a fight that Casey comes up and her, her stuff is all all packed so she ubers and she leaves and then she blocks steven and then he hasn't heard from her since and cole's like i mean i'm not gonna cause any more problems don't worry about me i'm going to the mountains oh whoops spoiled the surprise casey um so casey i looked up her arrest in 2022 case Casey was arrested for murder.
Just kidding. Misdemeanor driving while intoxicated.
I was hoping she'd like, I don't know, done something interesting. Yeah.
Like knocked over a combine. Yeah.
Like push someone down and push an old lady down on a crosswalk or something. Cause I like when nice people like seemingly nice people turn out to be monsters so i was hoping it'd be something like that like selling illegal illegally bred puppies out of her trunk or something speaking of monsters we then go over to calo who's packing up her stuff from steven's house that she already moved out of but she's still gonna pack again and this time she's just taking a full vase of flowers she just is like i'm gonna pack a vase i'm gonna pick a vase of flowers into a box and move i'm not i'm like lady okay i know everyone on this show is a bad actor lord knows we have to sit through enough terribly scripted scenes with them fake fighting with each other but you also can you at least try to act with your packing can you at least try to pack the way a normal person would be like i don't know wrapping your vase in in crepe paper or whatever it's great paper tissue paper anything wrap it in something i mean has anyone ever in the history of vases ever packed it with the flowers still inside and no protected material come on just try to actually act like you're doing something for real.

She's putting like the microwave in there.

The barbecue grill.

With stuff on it.

Like, it's a lot.

The hot dogs are on the grill.

Back and it all goes.

Everything must go.

So she's like, yeah,

everything that went down at Lake of the Ozarks was the final straw

I don't know. where everything must go so she's like yeah everything that went down at lake of the ozarks was the final straw like i know i've just given him so many chances but you know i've just like been shitted on so much and it's just making me crazy like i have so much dirt on his family i've been there for steven so much and i have so much shit on this family.
He told me his father is being investigated by the FBI. Okay, listen, Kala, you're not a good girlfriend or a good person by saying, oh, I went through so much shit, and now I'm going to use it all against them.
Betray everything they ever told me. That's not, like, why are you acting like you're Jesus on the cross right now? Okay, that's not being a good person, you dope.
She's like, I'm such a good person. Now let me tell you everything he ever told me in confidence while sobbing because he thought his life was ending.
God, these flowers smell like good. Don't blow your load.
She's just blowing her load on this. She's like, he told me so much dirt.
His father's being investigated by the FBI. I'm like, girl, use that information to get something.
Don't just out and say it. You gotta get yourself a new hubcap for your car or something.
I don't know. You just gave it out for free.
Get a new base. Get a new base with some fresh flowers.
Fresh flowers in Dallas. So that way you don't have to import them from Kansas City.
And I love that she's doing all of this while she's like saying, I'm not putting up with this anymore. Right after she's moving into an apartment that they're paying for and driving a car that they're paying for.
Yeah. Yes.
And even though she's, and even though she already moved out of this house, she's still going to have a moving out montage. I mean, the show is just sloppy at this point.
And she gave up her entire career of doing something or other for this okay how dare you i have an mba in something or another okay the something or another sciences which does include packing vases with flowers it's a very difficult art so she continued oh got a little fly in here that is disgusting doesn't that mean there's like poop in here or something No, it just means a little fly got lost. I hate those little flies.
They're the worst.

I would rather a big fly because at least they've got some stones on them. It's the little ones that are always trying to go off the shelf on you, you know? Yeah, I want like a big fly.
I like the ones that are like this big and they're like, I've seen things. You know, those flies have been around the block.
Yeah, they've been here. They're like, I'm going to fly slowly fly slowly no one's killed me yet and they're not about to um do you kill them you know obviously they can't finish get that piece marks rack it out yeah a house fly house fly is like a sturdy fly they're like they're like good and when they when they land they do like a little dance they're almost mocking they always do that but there was land and then they like orient themselves in three different directions like not only do i land, I have a routine.
And then all the other flies just land. You know what I don't like? Even worse than the fruit flies are those generic flies that are small and heart-shaped.
Their wings make them heart-shaped. They're just stupid.
They have none of the charisma of a housefly. And yet, they just don't have any sort of...
Well, the fruit flies have no personality, but at at least we know about them but those flies don't even have a name they're just like nameless flies fruit flies have personalities they hang out with gay guys all the time like wonder why they're not in love with them that's true they literally hang out on fruit all day that's a personality so she goes on to say that she's been been helping steven through everything he would cry every single day i mean you know he can talk to me because my dad was in prison my brother and sister have been to prison so i mean i get it i know what it's like i know what it's like when someone rats them out and they all wind up going to jail anyway kala kala's like the lead the lead uh

witness for everybody for the prosecution for all of her family members she's like they tried to

fuck with me and now look where they all are happy father's day kala would be a lot funnier if they

just played those law and order like synthesizer tones every time she talked because you know like

whenever like witnesses say things on law and, there's always something that's like

She'd be like, yeah, I know about Steven.

Yeah, his dad's being investigated by the FBI.

What's it to you?

I think I would enjoy a law and order.

What am I saying?

I would never enjoy her in any capacity. It's time for a commercial.

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So then we go to a place called Pasta Villa. Not to be confused with Villa Rosa, Villa Blanca, or anywhere.
Or Pasta Villa.

For that matter.

Vanderpump Villa.

So Stephen and Galena

are in a very important meeting.

It's not them.

Millie Vanilla.

I'm going to see Millie Vanilla.

Millie Pasta Vanilla.

So they sit down at Pasta Villa,

home of the most authentic pasta

of whatever building is left of it. I'll tell you this.
That place better be legit because it was established in 2023. Yeah.
2023. This is 12 months of memories and authenticity.
Pasta Villa established 2023. Okay.
Well, your new location. You know, let's hold off on the established.
Maybe like let's give that a few years maybe. Nothing about this place looks like a villa.
I'd also like to add. Do they even eat pasta? I don't even think they ate pasta.
It's all steak. You know this place.
It's all meat. And porcupine.
What state is this in again? I forget. Missouri.
Missouri. Missouri.
Missouri. Okay, so Stephen and Galena go to a restaurant, and Stephen's like, what is up, Galena? I like that jacket.
I've learned to always open a conversation with a woman by complimenting their looks or their clothes. Because that's what women like.
Did you fall for it? Yes or no? Just tell me yes or no. Are you drunk? And she's like, oh, thank you.
It is fun. Isn't it? Look at this fun, frill outfit.
I did for season two. I'm trying to show lighter, more fun, Galena.
Well, that is really wonderful. I really think this emotional rollercoaster that you're on and that i'm on with cala it's really heightened she ended up moving down to dallas and we're going to be friends she goes wow wow okay well you were supposed to say a better line there but that's fine anyway it started to hit big wow okay well big wow okay pasta pasta villa wow hey can we get a refill on the pasta here? What kind of villa is this? Pasta villa, no? Refill, please.
Wow, pasta refill. Rigatoni wow.
They have unlimited duck sauce here. I don't have the heart to tell them that's not quite Italian, but that's fine.
So it's starting to hit me that Cal and I are really broken up. Cal and I are just going to be friends.

My loyalty lies right here on this ranch.

With this ranch dressing, I am loyal to this

dressing that they gave me with my pasta here

at Pasta Villa. Anyway, my family,

I will defend them until the day that I

die. She needs to work

through mourning her sister, and I

need to work through managing the stress

of nobody in this company being

able to drive a combine. So, basically the same thing.
Galena's like, I hear you. It has been rough on me, too.
But I'm getting there. One day, every step closer with Rigatoni.
Okay. Not to get too deep about it, but do you ever wonder if the universe is just, like, encapsulated by, like, a marble and there's, like, a really big thing and we thing and we're just like a play thing to it like we are like a housefly compared to some big giant entity okay and also not to get so deep about something else i think avoiding contact with masha would be best for your mental health because these waves of ups and downs and lefts and rights and sideways and lefts and rights and pastas and villas they ain't beneficial for you or the company and mostly i care about you as a person and by care about you as a person i'm scared you're going to destroy the company from the inside out sort of like this pasta is doing to me right now is there a bathroom nearby so you think it might not be good for contact with masha probably not so i can maybe just shoot i can shoot this is from far away it's like no you cannot shoot Masha.
Okay? You're not going to be able to have contact with Masha. That would be a bullet making contact.
But I can burn house. Yes, I can burn house.
You can burn down Masha's house. I run her over.
This is not touching with hands. I just run her down.
What about throwing stars? Like Turtle, who is ninja in sewers. sewers i can throw star like no that's a terrible idea i do not trust you around a throwing star either that would that's that counts as contact okay you know it's hard for me to see what my dad is doing to hurt you and and it hurt my mom too you know and she goes your mom had it worse because for it to happen for 28 years 20 years whoever was the that was that was the other woman to your mother god may she die in a rotting coffin under a pile of other rotting cough it was you it was you galena oh that's right oh this is right this is right this is terrible terrible bad me bad galena there are times you know i think that i'm getting karma for what i did to christy me this is so funny to me and i'm gonna just cover my eyes so i could at least do it with half my face but fucking galena man she squints her eyes and she's got these eyes that she's fucking killing you i mean i don't know she's got she can do this brutal thing with her eyes it's so good and she goes yeah i think sometimes i'm getting karma for what i did to christy i know i absolutely hurt her she was his wife i can't even imagine and then she just goes hmm karma maybe yes yes yes that is yes that's a good way to put it galita i love that it's just now dawning on her like maybe not great what i did to christy maybe not maybe not i've been i've been taking therapy in karma villa the person gives me advice you know season two botox so well i don't want i don't want this stress to affect you to the point where it's compromised across all the companies.
Because I'm having mom and Cole tell me to just fucking fire you because it's not worth the headache. But you know better than anyone that risky situation in business is into.
Right, right. Wink, wink.
B-I-F-A. B-I-F-A.
That's pig Latin. You calling me a pig? Never mind.
It's going to take our absolute best to climb out of the hole that this company is in that the liberals put us in, I'd like to add. And we won't be able to do it if we're stuck in an emotional low.
So I need you to move on. Deal? Because you're better off that way.
Deal with it. I'm killing my shot.
not the deal well thank you it was great meeting with you and i just want to stress i really do like that jacket thank you woman do you understand it's like thank you you are quite the gentle man so then we go to jesse and allie steven clearly looked up chit chat gpt when having a tough conversation with an employee, how can you be firm and stern and also nice? It's like, well, be sure to begin and end the conversation with a compliment that echoes the first compliment. So we go to Jesse and Ali's city house, the big city, taxis flying by, pigeons, you know, reading newspapers on the street.
And Christy comes over and she's like, Jesse, what's that car that's out in the garage? I just happened to take a look in your garage because I'm your mother and that's what we do. Wanted to make sure my son's garages are safe.
So what was that car that's out there?

And Jesse's like, I didn't know what the plan was,

but dad asked me to keep it here.

It's Masha's car.

That Porsche is Masha's car?

That is her car?

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Nice car.

Nice ride, Masha.

And Cole's like, don't tell Galena, though,

because she's going to keep beating them windows in. I i'm the one to drive it to the window place luckily we got a lot of them here in the city so then we go to steven and he's driving and um he is on the phone with jesse and um there's a brisket situation with arthur arthur bryant's barbecue so steven is telling, he's like, Hey, I'm on my way down to Arthur Bryant's to hopefully see about the brisket we sent them.
Cause yeah, I thought they went to the meat trend because they said that they didn't want too much of the brisket like to be touched with a knife. So I thought, well, maybe it turns out maybe we cut off too much.
Cause also, cause it turns out we actually just filleted into like thin, like cold cuts and then gave it to them to brace or or whatever they do down there smoke it, whatever. Anyway, I gotta go fix the situation because the entire farm depends on it the entire fate of western civilization depends on these cuts of beef They wanted to make faster sandwiches at the barbecue place.
My idea was cutting them so thin they'd look like bacon. So I basically turned them in beef bacon.
Turns out they didn't like it. Now, am I going to change them? No, probably not.
But I had to give it a good try. I called him right away and I said, Arthur, I love your jacket.
Love your jacket. Now I want to talk about your brisket techniques.
You spend a lot of time, a lot of time smoking them. What, as far as I can reckon, that's eight hours doing that.
Have you ever thought, maybe

instead of smoking for eight hours, thin slices

of bacon, real thin,

30 seconds.

I think, I don't know,

it's going to be good.

He wanted smoked brisket.

I put cigarettes

in the brisket.

I lit the brisket. I lit the cigarettes.
They smoked. Didn't like it.
Didn't like it. So I said, your belly is so much smaller with that jacket.
What a jacket. So I saved us.
I basically saved us. I brought a very tiny jacket that I was going to give to Cole's baby someday.
But it fits the brisket perfectly. And I'm going to put it on the brisket.
I'm going to say, that's a nice jacket. And I mean that.
Wait a minute. That's what I'll get for doing everything right, I guess.
Lose the jacket. So then we go see the clip over at Arthur Bryant Barbecue.
And Andy's like, I appreciate you you coming down here I needed to see what the

meat looks like okay you need to take a look at this okay at 185 without the fat on it how much shrinkage there was look at this thing this looks like a penis that has not wanted a vagina for over 30 years this is an old penis brisket do you understand what I'm saying okay so Stephen's like absolutely

this is 100% on me

you know i i understand that you do not appreciate my cigarettes wrapped in bacon made of your brisket i thought it was innovative i thought this way no fat lots of smokiness everything you could possibly want it's on me um i I was thinking, though, maybe next time cigars.

I think cigars might be the way to go.

So that's where I will go, and I will do it for you.

This is on me.

Now, this might be outside of my pay grade,

but I wanted to suggest turkey sandwiches.

Turkey sandwiches.

Just change it.

Just change it over to turkey sandwiches.

Okay, because we got turkeys. Wait, hold on one second.
i just got a text from jesse we don't have turkeys we'll get you turkeys galena has killed masha's turkeys okay well i will be back with the brisket tomorrow have you considered smoked combine wheel because uh we we got a lot of those they they roll off our combines and what we like to do is put them over a spit and then after about a few few hours of braising we just slice them off real juicy real juicy tire and such yeah so gotta keep some fat on it man this is arthur bryant's we ain't fucking around over here this is the real deal this is the church of barbecue okay people don't kneel down to take your turkey sandwiches and your smoking skinny brisket. This ain't 90s model brisket.
We want some fat, fat brisket here. Do you understand? We want a Dove commercial brisket.
We want all kinds in this plan. He's like, okay, I will do it.
And guess what? I'm going to cover the loss on this since it's my fault. And then I'm going to blame Cole for losing money in corn.
Do you understand? That's where we're going to go from here. So now we're back at the city house and somehow we're able to hear the dialogue with the sound of that elevated train going right by the window and

Christy is like, uh-oh.

Uh-oh, look, Stephen walked in

with a brown paper bag. That's not

a good sign because we all know

when someone brings a brown paper

bag, there's always

a head inside.

Mother, what are you talking about? Why do you say that?

Well, I'm just

saying that Gwyneth Paltrow is never going to be bothering anybody again in this family he's like well i have brought some meat there is a seven pounds of brisket seven pounds of burnt end so that's great uh basically our meat was cut so lean they had to cook it 10 degrees hotter just to get the taste the same as theirs so they cut and their cut and our cut were the same size when they started cooking so we pre-trimmed a little bit too much is anybody tired of talking about meat yet i could talk about it all day yeah good talk we're having good meeting they said they said this meat is more damaged than your mama's hair and i was like don't say those sort now that I look at you, Ma, your hair is pretty damaged. Have you thought about cooking your hair at 10 degrees cooler? That's good.
You know, I should have called Arthur Bryan a long time ago. I just cut too much fat out.
I cut too much fat out. All right.
Well, burnt ends for coal and avocado for Ma. All right.
I brought-ins for your split ends ma otherwise i brought burnt ends otherwise known as mom walking past a beauty salon okay let's all sit down burnt ends also known as what happened to mash's chickens after galena was there they came to a burnt end um remember when we went to kansas city and we went we got kansas city barbecue and everyone was like you got to get the burnings you got to get the burnings and we thought they were saying i thought they were saying burnin like burn it i thought it was like one word spelled b-e-r-n-e-r-n burnin or burnin maybe no second R. And they were saying burnt ends the entire time.
Yeah. God life.
I ate everything in that place. The mac and cheese, the potato salad, the coleslaw, the bread.
They gave you those. Didn't they give you like the Wonder Bread type bread? Oh my God.
What a place. What a place.
Was it called a Q45 or something like that? It was great. But it wasn't Arthur James.
It was called Heaven. That's what it was called.
I said, Gabriel, you better stop blowing that horn. I got to get to work.
Stop the bluff. Feed me some more burnings.
So Cole says, Growing up in Kansas City, we like the Fayette on our meat. And that's what gives it the flavor, man.
So I don't know what Stephen's doing with Kyla with kyle right just a bony lady over there anyway steven's trying to turn from crop to meat so fast that all he wants to do is do that as fast as possible so i'm not surprised he did something stupid like cut too much fat off the beef oh god i hate when he does things stupid cut to well looks like another wheel fell off the corn combine Stephen's stupid

fucking call Well, it looks like another wheel fell off the corn combine. Steven's stupid.
Fucking Cole. My God, what a fuck up.
Cole is the Jax of this show. He is 100%.
He's not as hot as Jax was back when he started, but he is definitely the Jax of this show. What a lose.
So we cut back to the president, and Steven's like, well, we are behind, and we had a bunch of meat to thaw to get to Arthur Bryant's. So we already did 6,000 pounds of that.
Are we sick of meat yet? And everyone's like, oh, God. Well, we can't afford to lose Arthur Bryant's.
Okay? The crops look good this year, right? Because Cole told me, and he's trustworthy, so knock on wood. But we're still $80 million in debt with car washes.
Dad is gone. I got Galena all over right now because she can't emotionally handle anything mentally.
You know what it's so hard when someone doesn't have emotional in their mental. And that's a problem.
Hold on. Hold on one second.
I'm getting a phone call. God damn it.
All right. Turns out we cut off all the bristles off the brushes in the car wash.
We went too far. That's on May.
We just lost $45 million on that car wash down in Kansas City. All right.
I got to go. I just found out that when I told them to cut the bumpers off of the cars as they were coming into the wash, that was bad.
That has ended up costing us a lot of money, y'all. I'm so sorry.
Hold on. I will take the responsibility for that.
I'm getting a phone call from Kara down at the car wash. Okay, Kara, okay kara you're on um hi saving um the news here is that the um the the brisket you had to take back from arthur bryant's so people don't like that you attach that to the car wash brushes and a lot of people have broken windows now so you're gonna have to fix a lot of people's windows because you tried to wash their cars with spinning briskets also we are getting some complaints that when the soap dispenses from the shooters they're actually shooting out some kind of animal fat um well i was just trying to use what we lost to try and make up no i don't think that's gonna work at the car wash okay i fully take responsibility for that by the way i know we're just on the phone but i can tell i love your top i love your top i'm getting reports you know that vacuum thing at the end of the car wash that like goes onto your windshield and looks like a robot it's been spitting out barbecue sauce well i figured after all that brisket and the fat you want like a little something just to sweeten it up right i don't think i'm wrong on that one i'm not gonna take responsibility for that one beautiful jacket beautiful beautiful jacket so um he's like yeah you know i just don't know that galena can take

it i mean i told her three times i liked her jacket and she didn't even hug me so am i losing

my touch or is that woman crazy and chrissy's like well we might need to start looking for someone

else yeah just i don't know who else i mean who else could we trust

that was a maid five years ago at our home to run our business

well you know people are replaceable you may not know this i'm actually not your

biological mother i was recast about five years ago

that's why none of you look like me wendy malik was supposed to be playing me but unfortunately she got a better job on something called apple tv which just sounds like a vote for kamala to me but um yeah i'm new here but I'll tell you you what i still have and will always have brands always people don't realize that my cv is quite impressive i was the third daughter in charles in charge yes yes that's right i'll just let you think about that anyway i love being on your program now and i will get back to being your mother i do not know how the business is doing, but I do know, because of Wendy Malick, how Harrison Ford is doing. So, there's something.
So, Stephen's like, well, after seeing how daddy is, she talked about how much she respects you, Mom, and she really wants to maybe meet with you. Wouldn't that be fun? We're on a TV show.
You want to do that? And she's like, um, um. And Christ christy tells us yeah um i was pretty mad about

galena and the producer says because she was sleeping with steven while you were technically

married and she's like oh oh no for years and years yeah when i found out that was happening

i immediately filed for divorce and it affected the kids it still does it still still does

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that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com wayfair every style every home so she tells us the galena lore which is that galena was hired as the family cleaner so she was cleaning the house and we see pictures of Galena looking 16.

Yes.

On a good day.

Is she there? Is Galena there? I just got so scared. Do you hear that? Galena.
Oh my God. How embarrassing.
Is there a thump? I think Bueller sat on the remote control and turned the TV on in some action movies. I'm so sorry.
It's Galena. Wing it, Ben.
Wing it wing it okay I'm going to take it over from here so Galena was a young and we see these pictures of her she's like making cupcakes she's in the kitchen she's smiling with this creepy smile she's got little pigtails and Christy is basically saying that like Galena's there for a long time. And then when she found out what happened, that she immediately filed for divorce.
And yes, it affected the kids, etc. But yeah, we can see that Christy does not want to have a conversation with Galena.
But we also know that Christy is thinking, well, a man said I should talk to Galena, my mortal enemy. And who am I to disagree with a man? So, guess I'll do it.
Well, yeah, I guess I have to do it for the TV show at some point. But, yeah, this whole Galena thing of being the maid, and then you see her looking all young with, like, literal pigtails, like, smiling really big.
We've never seen Galena smile that big. I mean, it was just so crazy seeing the evolution.

Like, she really worked her way up to be the head of the company and took over everything and the husband. I mean, girl, that's crazy.
And it's also, like, truly the American dream. Yes.
In a way, I'm so proud of Galena. You know, I know that sounds sick and people are going to be mad.
But, I mean, talk about hustle. Geez, by the way, speaking of hustle,

Buehler was literally sitting on the remote control on button while he was licking his nuts so you were like buehler get the fuck off that remote love that jacket on you by the way i mean love your jacket love your jacket so now we go over to jesse and ali's city house and masha arrives and she's like oh god how to walk by so many people on the sidewalk city house goodness so much commotion anyway if you want me to take my shoes off and jesse's like no it's fine i'll wear my boots inside you know that whatever that what's his girl's name? Allie? She's like, fucking Jesse with those fucking boots. I just washed this floor for 16 times.
I was like, thanks for giving video evidence that Allie's going to use in divorce court soon to take everything from you, and rightfully so. So, um, Masha is just like, ah, yeah.
Um, so I keep shoes. Look, I still have shoes on.
And Allie's like, well, we did take good care of your car, Masha. Why is it everybody's job to take care of Steve Sr.'s affairs? Like, it's just ridiculous.
It's crazy. So we go out to see the car in the garage.
She does indeed have like a Porsche SUV thingy. And the back of it is so dirty.
Steve's the kind to just drop off a muddy car. You know, that's so Steve Senior.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, was that I was more offended by how dirty this car was. And I say this as someone who currently has a very dirty car, but I have intentions to clean it.
I don't think these guys have intentions. And if anything, Steve is, doesn't like, not Steve, doesn't Jesse sayesse say like yeah i put a smiley face in the dirt in the dust or something like yeah it's filthy i mean you own car washes and you can't wash your girlfriend's car before you deliver it yeah that's like that's what makes it really hard that man respects you you know so have fun with that masha that's how bad these people are at business that they literally are complaining about being in debt and are doing nothing to promote their stupid car wash on this show exactly like so we're showing being like going through the car wash because i treat my women right and that's why i wash the porsches i gave them before i give them back that's right so jesse and ally um i'm sorry no casey and ally go go to have a conversation by a fence.
As you do. As you do.
You know what we should do? Let's walk about a block and lean on a fence. Casey's like, let's go to fences.
And Allie's like, oh, thank God. I love August Wilson.
You know, living here in the city, I am exposed to so much culture. No.
Oh, man. The fence.
Girl, you know Allie has not sat and watched fences. There's not a lot of guarantees in life, but that is one.
That is one. So Casey's like, well, it's real hard.
Oh, sorry. Go ahead, man.
I can't. I can't.
I'm just going to move on. Casey's like, it's real hard when Cole starts drinking.
Ever since we found out I'm pregnant, he's been a lot better to me and treating me right. But, you know, it's just the drinking that makes me mad.
And, you know, I used to be able to put up with it, but I don't know if I could stay with him after the baby's born. Oh'm like, oh, okay.
Okay, Casey. I do not believe you.
You're having a baby with Cole of all people. Like, come on, Casey.
I want better for you. Yeah, you're having a baby with a man whose name shares the same name as a dying energy source.
That is the metaphor for you right now. Cole, it's not coming back.
So now we go to a farm field. Uncle Jimmy and Cole are watching a cow give birth.
I'm like, please, I already watched City Slickers when I was in sixth grade. I do not need to watch another calf being born online during my pop culture.
I was actually furious that I didn't get the full cow birth. They were like, oh, I'm sorry, this is sensitive for TV.
We don't have that in the TV sensitivity rating. We don't want to have to write it in there.
We do have cursing, smoking, abuse, and jacket compliments warnings. So I don't really want to add this.
I'm like, I want to see the cow birth. Why are you making the cow turn around? They're like, turn around.
You're on camera. This is a family show.
I saw. I've seen my cow.
I've seen my cow birthing once. Actually, several times.
Because I actually watched Slickers a lot. Because I used to love it when I was a kid.
I don't need to see it over and over again. Okay? I get it.
I feel bad for the calf. I mean, you got this calf that's born.
And it comes into this big, beautiful world. And the first thing it sees is coal.
Yeah. And then a staple gun.
So they can mark. You it it's like welcome to the world you can't even stand up yet you're ours cole's like i sure like the way that calf was twerking so it's like i'm not i'm literally gonna eat your ass when you're older because i'm gonna cook it and sell it to ar to Arthur Bryant.
Now, little thing, don't eat too much because you're going down to Kansas City someday. So Cole's like, wow, that castle there.
Everything's getting a little out of hand. Oh, he's talking to Uncle Jimmy.
And he's like, hey, Uncle Jimmy, you know, things got out of hand in Lake Ozarks. And you know why I blame that for her.

Because you know who wasn't there?

Aunt Darla.

Aunt Darla wasn't there.

How did you trip to Ozarks?

Is that?

And Uncle Jimmy's like, well, day drinking.

You know, it may take some time to rebuild that trust.

You know, you just got to think, how would you treat your mom?

You got to treat your mom a lot differently than you treat your brothers, your dad.

Flowers help.

That's what most men do when they're in the dog house you're getting flowers darla loves flowers all right how would i treat my mom okay so i guess uh i'll go home and i'll see casey and i'll ignore everything she says and make her do things for me great thanks for the advice wait a minute i just impregnated my mama you did i can't believe i did that i'm so sick i'm going to church like come back here cole cole stop running away from me flowers cold flowers cold don't treat your mama like your girlfriend treat your girlfriend like your mama oh this poor guy he won't ever get it straight don't worry i'm not the biological mother so it's not and Seth, don't you worry, everyone. Don't worry.
I'm not the biological mother, so it's not incest.

Don't you worry, everyone.

Don't worry. Wendy Malick just

had to go to work explaining to Harrison Ford

why she's pregnant. But, you know,

I'd like to thank you anyway for your advice, Uncle Jimmy.

Tell Darla hi.

Are Wendy and Malick, oh, are Wendy Malick,

as of Wendy and Malick, are Wendy Malick and

Harrison Ford on a show together? Yeah, I think they're

on that show on Apple TV, The Therapy Show. Oh.
Wow. I'm pretty sure because we keep making Wendy Malik jokes.
They're in a show called Shrinking, and they play love interests. Because we bring up Wendy Malik so much for Real Housewives of Orange County, and someone was like, you guys are making it sound like Wendy doesn't work.
And Wendy works, but she's on Apple TV with Harrison Ford. I was like, okay, Wendy, yes.
So we've got to give Wendy her cred. Yeah.
We will always give Wendy Malick cred. It's just Heather Dubrow who doesn't.
Because they are bitter enemies, according to us and not based on any truth yeah um so back to the office let's go to the office um so steven uh has he's he's coming out to talk to cara the perpetually terrified oh god she was terrified she's like oh he's coming he's coming he gotta go, Mom. She's like, hello, Kara.
So before I compliment your blouse, I just want to ask you, do you have the yield totals for all the trucks? She goes, yeah, I do. It's at, I'm saying this as positively as I can.
Do you want a mint? I have mints here on the front of the desk. They're for you.
Just tell me. Tell me.
Tell me the yield. Tell me the yield, Kara.

Okay.

The yield is gum.

I have gum.

You should have some gum.

Kara, I swear to God.

Gum makes everybody have gum.

I swear to God.

I will never compliment your dress ever again

if you do not give me this yield right now.

Okay.

On the count of three.

The yield is puppies, sunshine, trampoline parks.

Okay, hold on one second.

I'm just going to...

Hold on. Let me just go into another room and crush this bottle of ranch sauce.
Okay, hold on one second. I'm just, hold on,

let me just go into another room

and crush this bottle of ranch sauce.

Okay,

I am back

and I am calm.

Please tell me

what is the yield?

It's $150.

It's $150.

The yield is $150.

God damn it.

God damn it.

$150.

That's like $200 an acre

less in revenue

than we expected.

There is no way

we're going to be able

to cover our loan payment

with that.

You know, how could those numbers be so off? How could they be so off? How could they? It was going to be able to to cover our loan payment with that you know how could those numbers be so off how could they be so off it was supposed to be 150. let me tell you something at this rate 150 bushels okay i was told it's me 200 200 bushels and 500 and guess what guess what what there's nary nary 200 bushels and nary a peck because this is 150 bushel of corn okay and it ain't gonna make going to make that 500,000 bushel a peck contract.
Okay. I am sick of it.
I am done with it. I am mad.
I am cutting the fat off this bushel. I am furious.
Cut it off. Be done with that bushel and a peck.
Hug around your neck. Hug around your neck.
No, Kara. I told you a million times I am seeing someone.
Although I am single right now, so I will take a hug around the neck. Okay, here's a hug.
Put your arms.

Okay, that feels nice.

Feels real nice. I love you.
I love you. Okay, back away.
No, I couldn't do this. Back away.
So, Cole, now, this is where Stephen's like, I told you Cole's an irresponsible nitwit idiot. I never should have let him do nothing in this company.
you're running the company and this man went off and bought lands you didn't approve of

and told you it's going to be 200 an acre and you believed him what is wrong with you maybe you're not fit to run this company because no no person worthy of running a company would believe a word that comes out of cole's mouth sir yeah mainly because all the words that come out of cole's mouth sound like this. Because there's no lips or teeth.
Does that estimation have any teeth in it? Okay, it only has teeth in it. Does it have any lips? It does not have.
It's only teeth. Okay, I believe him.
I believe him then. Companies can't just buy farms like a Starbucks run.
You don't just buy a farm. If it it's a company things have to be signed off on like you signed off on this like you don't just like surprise by a farm on behalf of a company so this whole thing is bullshit in the first place this whole bushel this bushel mess guess what i'm 50 50 bushels short also and my bush, I mean brain cells because of this stupid family.
So Galena has come in during this time and he's like, I cannot believe Cole did this. Can you believe it? I mean, bushels, pecs, bugs, necks.
And she's like, yeah, something has to change. Something has to change something has to change he's like not your genes though those are adorable but at this rate 150 bushel of corn ain't gonna make that 500 contract what are we gonna do this is why cole never should have done nothing so then we go to cole and casey walking together or work in the barn or whatever and cole's like i think i'll go to the plane.
I'm going to take us to a little baby moon.

You ever been on a baby moon in the mountains before?

She's like, no, I've never had a baby.

I've never been to the moon or to the mountains.

He's like, yeah, she's always wanted to see the mountains.

So I'm going to do it.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe I get to have my baby on the moon at a mountain.

So he's like, you know, I acted like an idiot flag up there one small step for man one smaller step for a little baby so it's like i acted like an idiot in the ozarks punching hills and whatnot and i want to show casey i'm putting her and our family first she's never been to the mountains before she's always wanted to go to the mountains she's also said she always wanted to go on the moon so i never been great with girls or moons or mountains so i get that from my dad and i thought i can make it right we're take we're going to outer space so he gives her kind of this half-ass like i should be better so i'm gonna take you to the mountains because you're pregnant and all you know and you know account for me being drunk on the ozarks or whatever and she's like wow i just wish there was accountability and he'd say hey i messed up but i do get to go to the mountains it's gonna be magical mountains are supposed to be like hills but pointier i can't wait i just can't wait all right little lady i'm gonna treat you right we're gonna hop on a regional flight a state over and go to colorado oh my gosh i know it's gonna be fun because we're going on a plane called spirit they do charge extra for the baby it's considered carry carry-on. Probably.
Does your pregnant belly fit inside of this trial bin before you get on the plane? Are you going on a regular trip or a baby moon? It's a baby moon. Okay, that will cost an extra $25.
Celebratory personalities.. So, Stephen finds Cole working on a tractor, whatever, like anybody believes that.
He's like, Cole, I just went over the yields with Kara. Do you know how hard she hugged me? I have hickeys on my back.
That's how hard. And any chance those numbers are going to come up? Because we are under, and we've got a $6 million payment due by November.
And there is no way we're going to make it. Even if I sold all of the mints that Kara gave me into my pocket, we cannot make that yield.
Now, it's your turn to reply to me. It's your line.
Oh, sorry. Yeah, I've been tracking.
And we should be good. We might have the numbers we need next year i'm gonna keep the combines rolling they're

not gonna stop because you know what elon musk made combines that don't need drivers

i am sick of next year and farming all you hear is next year next year next year ozarks is one

thing because you know what i went on a trip to the ozark but you know now i hear you're having

uh during a harvest during a baby what are you doing baby moon during harvest what what the

Thank you. I went on a trip to the Ozark, but now I hear you're having during harvest, during a baby moon.
What are you doing? Baby moon during harvest? What the fuck is a baby moon anyway? Is that where you take your baby out there and you just pull down its diaper and it shows everybody its butt? We don't do that in this family. Well, as far as I know, when two moons love each other, sometimes they get get very intimate and nine months later congratulations you have a baby moon I just told my guys like you know they got to keep cutting and I just got to go for two days because I'm trying to put my family first before I cheat on my pregnant girlfriend next week in Nashville according to the previous this no you oh my god Yeah, you act like you want to run the farm, but here you are putting your relationship first.
You said you want a nameplate on my door. Well, I'm not taking your problems when you're gone.
Okay, I'm not going to take on your problems. He's like, good.
Because you won't have to deal with none of my problems. Guess what we'll have to? Everyone else when the wheel falls off.
off my combine it's like you can't even deal with your own problem so steven storms off i mean this guy is like just admit that you fucked up and try and make it better but it's cole so he's like oh you suck more so then um wait one more thing cole get your fucking face back right here you stand right here'm going to say this to your face, and I'm not afraid to say it. You stupid melted candle of a man.
Like a jacket. Okay, have fun.
Thank you. Actually, I like Steven now.
I like Steven now. I don't know how he did that.
I don't know. So then we see Casey and Cole traveling to their babymoon desk.
They're in the car. And he's like, wow, you've been in the car? She's like, yeah, it's my first time in the car.
This is really so amazing. What is this? Four wheels? This is crazy.
What's that little stick you're moving? Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
I want it to be a surprise. Wow, look at this.
A highway. I've never seen a highway highway before so they they arrive and they're driving and they go to estes park colorado wow the park named after my favorite actor rob estes and then they're driving and they're looking at the mountains and she's like look wow we're officially in the mountains now.
Oh, my God.

I've never seen a rock that big.

This is the best trip I've ever seen. And it's like, Casey, you're just looking at a North Face store.

The mountain is the other direction.

Oh, Lord, that's a big mountain.

Ma'am, that's a Burger King, okay?

Still, they're so fancy in this new country.

Yeah, she sees the mountains. And, they are beautiful it's colorado but it's just funny she's like wow it's so big we're officially in a mountain i've never seen a rock that big last time she's ever gonna say that i'm sure the entire trip was this.
Wait, I've never seen a rock that big.

Wait, that rock's even

bigger. I never saw a rock

that big. Wait,

I never saw a rock that big.

Casey, can you just wait until we see the whole range?

And then afterwards we can assess which rock was the biggest.

Finally a state where she's

topped by every single

set.

Casey, you're just looking at a, and it drove off the road. Thankfully's no other drivers around so it didn't hit any other cars and col col picked his worst time to go on the honeymoon he could have been helping me here with this why would you trust col to help you with a fucking car car wreck in the middle of a road it's not going to help you you have a wheel the size of of a Starbucks drive-thru has tumbled off of your enormous small penis farm machine, and it's trampled probably five bunnies in that off the side of the road.
And Cole is not going to be able to help you. You ever see those competitions on ESPN where it's like world's strongest man, and they find these tires and they flip them over.
It's hard for the world's strongest man. You think Cole's going to be able to come even close to lifting that an inch off the floor? Is Bueller changing the channels again? He's scratching the couch.
He's killing me today. He's really acting.
He's really coaling it up over there. He really is.
He's misbehaving. He's not getting enough attention because I was lost.
Also, they were waiting. Now I'm back and I'm not petting him every two fucking seconds.
two fucking seconds so he's like guess what I'm gonna go through the trash and scratch your couch and turn the TV on with my butthole he's like I'm a cat I'm ginger the stolen chicken it's my protests we are all ginger we are all ginger um they are way too casual about the fact that this big ass tire went flying off their combine it has bothered me so much like this is such a big deal and they're like like wow that was crazy and tessa's like well as we crashed at that hill, the whole thing slams and we start sliding.

I start praying and never been so thankful for something to come to a stop before.

I'm like, that is exactly what the employees at Golden Corral said when Cole walked in.

It's so funny that she said that.

Thank you for coming in, Cole.

It was good to see you tell your daddy. Hi, God.

I've never been so thankful to watch something come to a stop before. Well, everyone, we're closed for the day.
No more inventory left. So rude.
Because he threw it out, guys. I'm not fat shaming Cole.
He just threw out all their food. So now we go back to the lodge.
It's so obnoxious of me. It really is.
I crossed the line. Crossed the line, whatever.
We got a Cole and Casey and they're overlooking the mountains. They're getting a drink.
They're getting some mocktails. And he's like, well, it's awesome.
Now, I don't know about you, but I could see myself spending forever with you. I definitely want to be together together you know i mean you know like basically can't you tell i was just telling someone i wanted

to eat her ass in front of everybody you know i mean i'm we're together we're already going to be

raising a kid might as well just be together forever so are you proposing you're not proposing

you're just wait they're not married no they're boyfriend and girlfriend so no this is the

conversation they're like should we stay together oh is that they were setting it up like they were

I'm not sure. No, they're boyfriend and girlfriend.
So, no, this is the conversation. They're like, should we stay together?

Oh, so they were setting it up like it was going to be a thing.

That's why it was like, oh, never seen a rock this big before.

It was a big teaser about like, I was wondering.

I was wondering why all these ring double entendres.

I just assumed they were married.

They were like, oh, we're the best we could do with each other.

It's us.

No, because she's trying to make a stand. She she's strong and she's gonna wait for him to change but he's never gonna change and she's gonna marry him anyway and we all fucking know it so whatever also casey i hope you learned a valuable lesson use a condom next time have him use a condom please it's really not her fault it's his fault um so we go to uh let's see, he's like, maybe we could be together forever.
And she's like, well, I mean, maybe. But, you know, I feel triggered sometimes.
But, you know, because you want to go out. And you're like, you know, it would be nice if you were with me because I'm pregnant and stuff.
But I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you back or nothing. And he's, I don't feel stuck with you.
That's what you're trying to say. I mean, I still go to Nashville.
I still fuck other people. So I mean, I'm fine.
No, but I don't want you to do that. Yeah, I'm not doing that.
I'm not going to Nashville fucking other people like next week or last week or maybe right now. This is actually just a a projection of me while i'm talking to someone else listen i don't feel stuck with you at all i just feel disappointed with you that's it okay and you know what however i acted in the past i just want to be you at blair forever without me by the way i just want you to point out it's just you two are in that equation.
Okay, enjoy. You and Blair.

Yeah, you guys have fun not getting child support. Okay, fine.

So, then we go to some...

Back to Galatine.

We're going to another international restaurant.

This one is Café Verona.

Oh, how Shakespearean.

I guess I should say Verona.

Café Verona. Wow, wow.
I feel like I've been transported to Europe. So in walks Christy, you can tell because the amount of static static cling rises in the restaurant.
She walks by, everyone's hair just rises up. Should I have a table to you forad's stick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just holding the Tad's stick.
I have a table for two. It's two blondes.
One has dry hair and one's a whore. So wherever you can see this.
Yes, we're under the reservation for original Targaryens. Thank you so much.
So they sit down and Glena's like, it's been a long time and you know, thank you for wanting to, much for wanting to meet with me. I know I've been wanting to meet with you for a very long time.
She's like, yeah, well, I didn't really want to meet with you, just my boy said I had to meet with you and I can't ever say no to those boys. That's why that turned out so well.
Okay, so what's going on? What's first on the slut agenda? I'm thinking of having girls just so I can tell somebody no. You know what I mean? And by the way, thank you for wanting to be here.
I love when she said that. I was like, damn, Chrissy can get cold and I like it.
And Galena says, well, I'm now realizing ding-dong dong, dong, ding dong to Galina, you know, after all these years, for the first time, what it feels like to be other woman. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
She goes, yeah, yeah. Because it looks like she's going to be like, it's okay.
You know, water under the bridge. But she gives her that look.
But then she goes, that could be, and that wasn't okay. That wasn't okay.
Okay? Not okay. Well, I feel horrible now that I am the one experiencing it.
I never had times to apologize. I never gave you a chance to kill my chickens.
And so, therefore, I brought a live chicken here named Ginger. If you would like to stab her to death, I want you to be the one to do it.
Please, get the revenge you deserve. Let us go to Stephen's house and you could put shoes in the dishwasher.
Please, at the very least. Well, she goes, you know, I never had to apologize or tell you my side of the story.
And I love it. She's like, yeah, I don't need you to tell me your side of the story.
Okay, because the drama now between you and Masha, I mean, it's affecting the boys. Okay, it's just not okay.
If I have to hear one more time that Stephen could not attend to the car washes because he had to take you to pass the villa one more time, I just can't deal with it. Okay, it is evil.
It is malicious, and I really just want the chaos to end. Okay, well, you could always get the new hairstyle.
I'm not talking about my split ends. Galena just, like, smiles tightly and nods, like, this is not what this is supposed to be.
And Chris is like, yeah, because now the FBI investigation is weighing on us. And Stephen calls me at night and we talk to the morning about it.
And then all day and I'm asking you for your help. Please be less drunk and stupid.
OK, please. And she's like, well, it's been stressful for me as well.
Well, well, unfortunately, I don't care. So you can pull yourself together to help the boys they need you and that might help too i mean if it makes you feel better go to the past clean their toilets okay you know what family is everything to us a wise woman once said when you're here you're family and you're either with us or you're out.
Or maybe against us. How's that go again? They show coming up next week, we see the family goes to Nashville against all the girls' wishes.
And Cole, they find a woman's boot in Cole's room. Like, wait, who slept with that girl from last night? Who did it? And then they show him waking up Cole and him being like, ugh nice, Cole.
You couldn't even make it a fucking week without your phony ass trip with your girlfriend. Shame.
Well, I can't even believe they're going to Nashville in the middle of the harvest. Well, Cole is needed.
Yeah. You know, not very needed.
Fun times. Fun times.
Thank you, everyone everyone for being here. Be sure to catch us tomorrow for some Real Housewives of Miami.
Catch you in the next one. Bye everyone.
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