#2954 RHOM S7E8 Part 2: Two Ships Sassing in the Night

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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens.

This is part two of a two-part recap.

If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one.

Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Go back and listen to part one, okay?

It's before this one.

Bye.

Enjoy the show.

Everything.

Which actually,

that makes me believe that there was no vast conspiracy theory behind why Nicole left.

It really was about like postpartum and stuff going on in her life, because I don't think

if they fired her, I don't think that they would include a moment where they're like, what would it take for you to come back if they fired her?

You know,

I think there's a lot of shady accusations about Anthony's money and his business and his shady lawyering.

And he's like an injury attorney and apparently fires, not injury.

What does he do?

He's like some kind of person who has like mass lawsuits against people at all times just to try and get settlements.

And there's like a lot of shady stuff out about him.

And I think she didn't want the girls.

I think that he he

Mary Saul probably was following him around with the private eye or something.

Cause I do believe that about Mary Saul.

Those rumors seem true to me.

And she was like, I'm not going to do this.

I'm not going to, I'm not going to get rid of my riches to stay on this stupid show with those crazy brugas.

Like, I'm out of here.

So I think she's just going to do the friend of thing and keep it simple on herself.

Yeah.

And by the way, I think the friend of thing is like, she looks like light and happy.

I mean, she always looked great, but she looked like she really did look wonderful in the scene.

She looked, she looked just like, ugh, I'm so unburdened right now.

I don't have to deal with the bullshit of these people.

I can just come in, have a free lunch on Bravo, and then go back to being wealthy.

Yeah.

So let's go to the Miami Beach Marina.

Kiki, we got all the long, slow motion walks up to the boat.

Just strutting in.

Kiki looks so good.

I was like, I took a little video of it and I put it up on Twitter.

I was like, does anyone walk into a scene better than Kiki?

She just is like model, catwalk, radiant, smile.

God, radiant is my real buzzword today.

I wonder how many more times I can say it, but she is radiant, and she's smiling and like in the sun and gorgeous.

I was like, This lady just knows how to make an entrance.

I love Kiki.

Okay, yep, she sure does.

Very slow motion.

I don't even think they're

expecting a big yes and on that.

A big yes and come on now.

You're very breathless, gay today.

Over the lady who's walking.

I'm a little breathless.

Oh my god, you guys.

Kiki is effortless.

Mother, Icon, yes.

She is a vision.

And oh my God, Kiki and Nicole might as well just be team radiant.

This is the kind of gay I am.

My friend texted me this morning and was like, do you want to go see Gaga?

And I was like, you got tickets?

And he's like, no.

And I was like, no.

I'm not going to pay $500 to go see fucking Lady Gaga.

Are you crazy?

No.

No.

And he's like, what kind of gay are you?

I said, that kind.

The kind who will not pay $500 to see Lady Gaga.

There you go.

I'm sure she's great and everything, but I'm just not like an icon mother kind of a gay.

So

yeah, Kiki walks very slowly.

Okay, so then she gets on the boat.

Larza comes and she gets aboard her yacht.

And Kiki's like, when you think of Miami yacht, you think of the luxury, the lifestyle, the rich men who can loan you boats for a day.

And that's what we're doing today, baby.

I unfortunately, because of this show, I also think of

these ladies doing terrible music videos for Adriana, too.

But like, that's fine.

That's fine.

Overall, I have very positive views of

it.

I think of a community theater director

overseeing a shoot to be like, I need you guys.

Okay, come on.

Is everyone in places?

Come on, on, places.

All right, shuffle tap, shuffle tap.

Are we eating grape leaves or doing the grapevine?

Can we pay attention here?

Okay, okay, you, the Russian one, you do the Roger Rabbit.

You, the one with a crazy face, you're gonna do the cabbage patch.

Okay, it's called fusion action.

Are we moon walking or are we moon talking, ladies?

Let's pay attention.

Pay attention.

I think that was great.

Um, so we see these yachts.

It's fun.

We see the captain.

And the captain's like, well, this here is the master where the magic happens.

Oh, yeah, this is where I'll be humping myself.

Ha, no, I'm just kidding.

It was funny though, right?

Yeah, being on a yacht is super fun and such.

And like, you don't have to like do anything.

There's like a crew like and Jetsuki's like and champagne at all times and like lots of this and that and XYZ like.

It's so good.

I love it.

So now

we meet ebony the new friend of who's lisa's friend lisa's like hey everybody i got a new friend her name is ebony we known each other for years and years and she knows kiki she knows gertie she's always got my back she comes to my halloween parties sometimes takes things home in a tupperware i'm not gonna lie but no one else is eating the food am i right ebony ladies and gentlemen

They are just

this show, they just keep on adding more and more friends of.

I feel like Atlanta used to have the record for the most friend ofs, but this show now has a full-on stable.

i mean what happened to carmen carrera she just we we just met her and she's already what she doesn't even get to come on the double yacht trip come on now yeah she's she's moderately famous yeah so stephanie comes and alexi is like oh i don't know is it too soon to throw somebody overboard i mean under the boards i mean over the boards what what is it what is it what is it how could you correct me in front of frankie he was here

you know i know that like it's accepted to say overboard but peter likes to say underboard and he's an artist and i need to support his artistic vision.

So I will now say that we're going to throw her underboard, ses.

So she's like, you know what?

No hard feelings, but I'd rather not be on the boat with Stephanie.

So Stephanie comes and Stephanie's like, I'm here.

It's the loud one.

Do you guys want to finish my house tour?

Oh my God, I can't.

So Mary Soul's like, we just found out you're not staying with us, Stephanie.

And she's like, yeah, I'm going to go on a quick little trip to Canada with my hubby.

He just loves Canada.

You know, one of his big kinks is paying too much for books.

So.

He loves poutine.

Now, by the way, this is how you can tell that she is thirsty, thirsty, thirsty.

Because look, Montreal is beautiful.

Love Montreal.

Been up there several times.

It's a gorgeous, wonderful city.

But if you are turning down.

a yacht in Miami to fly up to Montreal for a night, really to fly almost anywhere, You're only doing that to brag that you can do that because no one in their sane mind is leaving a yacht in this beautiful blue water.

Am I right?

I would.

Am I right?

100%.

I would leave the yacht.

I would leave some old man's borrowed yacht for a day to go to a luxurious Canadian trip.

Hell yes, I would.

I'm staying on that yacht.

I'm staying on a yacht in Miami.

I'm sorry.

Yachts are just super sexy.

Wait.

Spaces smell like you're getting gas breathed into your face.

I don't know.

i worked on the dinner cruise which i know isn't like the same kind of yacht they're going on here but i don't know i to me it's just well i also suck with a bunch of people i don't like in a tiny space just like also by the way don't love that this this event was planned and then masoud decided that he was gonna have a romantic dinner the same night as stephanie's job And I don't like that he did that because this is her job.

She has to be on the double yacht and she has to deal with it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

yeah, if that works, fuck Masud then, too.

Thank you.

I knew I could get you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just took a little.

I just needed to water it.

I needed to water it a little bit.

And I was like, I was like, let me apply some

Bronwyn and Todd mentality onto this.

Be like, wait a second.

Ronnie wouldn't like this if Todd did this to Bronwyn.

Let me do this ankle instead.

Come on, be angry with me.

So Alexia is like, oh, it's going to be such a fun weekend.

I totally need this.

You guys, Peter has been through so much.

Okay.

So

Stephanie's like, where am I sitting?

And Marisel's like, oh yeah, just go over there somewhere.

Okay.

So we find, we see a clip of Masoud sending beautiful roses to invite her on this trip.

And

Alexi is like, she can have some fun with Masoud.

That's what she should do.

That's what she should do.

Not on the boat.

Not on the boat.

So Kiki's like, okay, well, we're going to tie both the yachts together.

And then Gertie's going to join us on Larsa's yacht.

But unfortunately, we had to split the group because larsa and i we were fighting who gets whose yacht you know marisol said she doesn't want to be on the same yacht with you adriana i'm sorry she goes me

why me but someone doesn't want to be on the yacht with me come on it's me come on

and you know adriana is upset about two things one

is that marisol says she doesn't want to be with her but also the kiki yacht is like the JV yacht because it's all friends ofs and then Lisa.

And Adriana, you know, in her mind is thinking like, I deserve to be on the varsity yacht, but I'm here on the JV yacht.

And meanwhile, Julia gets to be on the varsity yacht and I'm here.

And oh, and now Marisol gets to be on there too.

And she's going to say, use me as an excuse.

You know, all these things are going through her head right now.

Yeah.

So Marisol's like, well, I don't want to be on Kiki's boat with Adriana.

I would like to look at the face, get the digs, get the comments.

I don't need all that.

I want to have a good time.

Brought my mixers.

Brought my mixers.

Well, I totally understand, understand, Marisol, because if I would be put on Tiki's boat with Gerdy, there I would have said, I'm sorry, guys.

How sick was that, right?

Oh, so sick.

I was waiting for the blood to fall.

I mean, what are we in carry?

What are we going to throw around things in the high school gym?

I mean, what is this?

Where's Sissy Spain set?

Get a little freckle face over here.

Just abuse me throughout my childhood.

Am I right?

I am not looking forward to joint dinner tonight with everybody, okay?

Oh, yeah.

Well, so how long are we going to be here for?

And Lars is like, we're ready to go.

Come on, let's go.

Okay.

So, yeah, Stephanie says that basically a tender is going to come and fetch her when the time comes.

And meanwhile, Adriana is now spiraling.

She's like, you know what the problem with Marisol is?

She has no empathy with her dried up, bony, shriveled up, dry ass.

So, Gairo, I love Ardrian, but I don't care.

So, a man rides by on a bicycle and she's like, Hey, daddy, there's a party here tonight.

Party for three.

So, then they're all mortified and they drive off or they float off or whatever.

So, they make some cheers, and Adriana just immediately starts getting shit-faced.

She starts pounding drinks.

She's slurring like within five minutes.

And she goes, Oh, what is that over there?

Is that the mean girl's boat?

Uh, the problem with Mary Soul, she has zero talent, zero,

zero.

Sorry, but it's the truth.

You know what else?

Dry knees.

Dry.

Dry knees.

Those knees are so dry.

This is the talent.

Talent yacht over here.

Is the talent?

Is the talent here?

Marisol had no zero talent.

Talent is over here.

Dry knees was my favorite.

And so Stephanie's like, um, does this boat have a stabilizer?

And Lars is like, of course, it's like a boat.

Like, of course it has a stabilizer.

Of course, has it has a stabilizer.

What's a stabilizer, by the way?

Stephanie's, well, it's not very stabilized,

which is

something that could be applied to this entire cast.

So then

Stephanie's just already dissing the boat.

Like, my boat would have a better stabilizer.

Yeah.

So then, meanwhile, Lisa's like, oh, my God, there's a dolphin.

Oh, my God.

You know that sometimes they try to rape you.

And then Ebony's like, dolphin rape is a serious thing, guys.

Hi, I'm Ebony.

I'm on the show now, I guess.

I only got one line, and it was to promote awareness about dolphin rape.

So it was great.

Jan, it's like sexual assault.

Their dolphin sexual assault.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that the dolphin decided to do the sexual assault.

The dolphins are always trying to pretend to be so perfect.

I was cornered by a dolphin that wanted to have some tequila.

There, I said it.

When I was a kid, I was like in the ocean, and I kept swimming out and out with a friend.

And then I looked back to shore and my, our parents were freaking out, waving at us come back come back and there was a shark coming around they thought we were going to get killed by a shark but it was just a wacky dolphin that whole time you know dolphins with you like that they do they're smart like i could kill your children just kidding i'm a dolphin anyone have a beach ball to throw me i'll toss it up with my nose okay nobody okay Dolphins are so rude because they like, if I remember correctly, they like herd little fish closer and closer to the shoreline because then the fish get trapped.

They're like, wait a second, we're running out of room.

It's maniacal.

And I think they also flap.

I think they flap with their tail the ocean and the force of that stuns the fish.

The fish are like, oh, geez, what the fuck?

So they really are, they're smart.

Those dolphins.

Yeah, dolphins look like smarts.

I love them.

They also work like for the CIA or something.

They just need to articulate better.

Seriously, they're so close to just like taking over the world if they just learn more like consonants.

Yeah.

Could you imagine being that smart?

And all you can say is,

what was that?

Why are you attacking Leah Black?

We love you, Leo.

So

Adriana's like, I'm drunk already.

I better eat.

But Marisol, the ringleader with her damn try means.

Dry knees does not allow to make people have their own opinion.

Maybe it was a bad idea to tell Adriana why Marisol didn't want to come on my yacht.

She is manipulative.

She is cunning.

The fake Birkenbags and cubic zirconia rings that would not absolve you from the evilness of your soul.

It's like Adriana talking to a plant, to a potted plant.

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So then at the other yacht,

Lars is like, so are you guys like cool now?

And Stephanie's like, yeah, we've always been cool.

And Alexia's like, oh, yeah, we've always been cool.

But like, I don't like that you said that I bark because like I don't bark.

And she goes, you do bark.

And she goes, no, but like you said like, so so do you.

And you're like a chihuahua.

She goes, but you barked at me.

But like, I'm a Rottweiler.

But you're a chihuahua.

But like, I'm like a rottweiler, though.

And she goes, really?

Because I think I'm more like a wolf.

And she goes, oh, yeah.

Well, then I'm more like a lion then.

If you're like a wolf, like I'm a rotten, I'm a rottwah lion.

I'm a a rottwion yeah stephanie's like well they don't bark by the way that's so alexia for many reasons but i like one of alexia's patented moves is that she'd be like no everything is fine everything is fine but you did you know you did say something very insulting to me she always says everything is fine and then she adds a comma but by the way you did this and i hate you but anyway everything's fine everything's fine

i loved yeah but they don't bark stupid

really because i'm like a penguin then so what are you gonna do watch out i'm gonna throw i'm gonna throw her her underboard.

Should they watch out?

So

now

the women, like, the boats are next to each other.

The women, Kiki and the girls on her yacht go and like wave at the other ones.

Adrian's like, what's up, bitches, dry knees?

Oh, damn, smell.

Thank God I'm not on that boat.

Oh, my God.

Stephanie, you're on the wrong boat.

Stephanie's like, no, I'm going to get out of here.

So Marisol's like, local.

We came to have fun.

Like, cheers, cheers.

They're on that boat.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Let's have fun.

Like, so Adriana sees them talking and she's like, oh, Marisol induces the craziness.

That's why you're saying it's crazy because you induced it.

She's like, oh, you see, she doesn't stop.

I mean, that's why I'm not on that fucking pole.

I can't.

Like, geez, what is going on?

Is she telepathic and just doesn't know it yet?

Like, she doesn't understand it?

Like, I can't.

I know.

I heard you.

I heard what you did to me.

I heard.

And there are two separate boats.

So she's just like yelling across to the other boat.

And she's like, well, yeah, because you don't know how to be nice, man.

Because you don't know how to be nice.

You know, you don't know how to stop manipulating everybody.

Fuck off, you old whore.

Your old whore, dry whore.

I don't know what get into Adriana.

Adriana is not fun drunk, not like Marisol.

Adriana just turns nasty.

I was like, is Marisol a fun drunk is she ever has marisol ever just been fun in general i don't know if i saw that this sounds it then my did you hear my carriage oh come on

why you're like piper lorie just coming home from the grocery store am i right everyone come on

somebody might needs to like give her like a biscuit or like something like to sober her like up like And Lisa's like, drinking is actually fucking poison.

It's poison.

That's why I stopped drinking.

Except for today.

I signed suffering.

You know, they lured my best friend in there because she is trying to be with the cool girls.

So Marcel's just complaining to Stephanie.

Like, she's like, whatever.

And Adriana's like, you know, one day she's going to realize they're not the cool girls.

They're like mean cougars.

I mean,

well, okay, I got to go, but just hope you guys have a great time.

There's no arguing.

Okay, my boat's here.

Bye.

Can we remodel this boat?

It reminds me of the wife.

Okay.

Can we make it float less?

Meanwhile, Stephanie's trying to say goodbye.

And Adriana's like, go get plastic surgery on your bony knees because they need it.

You wrinkled knees.

Even Adriana and Alexia have to crack up because that's so good.

It's like who goes after someone's knees for like an hour.

And Marisol's like, oh, yeah, well, this bony ass got three husbands.

So

doing something right

and so she's like oh god that woman's an asshole i can't take her so then we see uh you know clips of adriana sassing off to mari soul and she's like she's an asshole you know that's my answer about adriana every time take it to the bank asshole and i love that she's wearing her widow uh her whole widow thing in the uh diary room right now because i love like just an angry widow she's an asshole the veil down over her face but i think isn't this also where she shows off her like bespoke goblet goblet that says cockies on it and sparkles?

I was like, oh, yeah.

You know, listen, no matter what's happening, Mary Soul is going to try very hard.

She's going to try hard.

Well, you got to with all these narcs hanging around.

So Stephanie is, she gets off the boat.

And now it's time to go jet skiing.

This is like a whole below deck episode.

So they,

Larsa, like goes down to the jet skis, and she's now in her bathing suit.

So her ass is just like, boom, like out.

And everyone's staring at it.

Like, holy shit.

And then she slips.

She's like, oh, like, slip, like.

And the captain's like, this is why I like helping.

Hey, you.

Oh, my God.

Life's an ass.

I've touched it.

I've squeezed it.

I've drank out of it.

I've gone back for seconds and thirds.

It's just so fucking delicious and fluffy.

I mean, it's perfection.

So then Larza and Alexia go drive off on their jet ski and Kiki is filling some water guns wackily.

So they go shoot the ladies with some water guns And Aldriana's like, Permission to come on board.

Do not tell anyone we are coming.

Okay, don't tell dry knees.

Okay, don't tell her.

Although she probably could feel our presence because we're holding water, so you know, those creaky dry knees feel it.

Arthritis, am I right?

So the producer is like, you know, silly stuff.

The producer is like, what would your bond name be?

And she's like, a bond girl name is usually like a foreign name, right?

Like, well, Marisol would definitely be dry bony knee gaga.

Kiki is going to be Sasha Succulent because the name sounds like she suck.

She do sock.

I like dick unless it's bald man.

Don't trust him.

I'm going to be Lisa Noxstein, knocking him dead with one glance.

I don't think Kiki gets it.

Yeah, none of them really do.

They just stop this gag.

They don't even ask.

Kiki's the closest.

Nobody can can do this.

No one knows.

Kiki came close with succulent, but Lisa being like, Lisa, Noxian, because I knock him dead.

That's not the sort of pun they're looking for.

Yeah.

So

now they come on and shoot the ladies and Mary Soul's like, oh, Adriana's torturing me.

Stop it.

It's not funny.

It's like, oh, that girl is like the wicked witch of the West.

Like, do you start spraying her?

And then she starts melting.

Okay, you guys, you guys are running out of references here.

Wrap it up, wrap it up.

NBC is so happy.

NBCU is like, Thank you so much for leaning into the corporate synergy.

Wicked 2 will be out this fall in theaters.

Also, I like that when they were like shooting them with the water guns, Larsa was like, Ah, ah, ah, and she had like a cocktail and she just threw it in their face.

Get back, get back.

I'm like, Larsa, you know, they're not real terrorists, right?

This is water guns.

And you're in a bathing suit and just got out of the water.

No, like stop stop like

so um then marisol sprays adriana for revenge but adriana doesn't care she just catches it in her mouth and stuff and mariusal's like oh my god this is only funny from some people she goes oh yeah because you have a vendetta against me so whatever i do is never funny to you Drive me.

And Kiki's like, oh my God, guys, can we just get some drinks?

So then

they ask what happened to Stephanie.

She went to Canada.

And Lisa's like, what a dream.

I would have chose Canada too.

Oh, God.

Better than this bullshit.

So now they take a shade break and Julia is like, oh, so out of curiosity,

Adriana, why the other night did you not go back with me and you stay behind with Gertie?

Because you're an asshole.

Like, why can't nobody just answer this properly, Julia?

Because you're a terrible friend and you're an asshole and you deserve no loyalty.

Because you ditched ditched Adriana and she's feeling salty.

So she goes, because someone needs to mediate.

And Julia is like, but what Gertie did was wrong.

She's like, it was wrong.

I am not condoning it.

But who is going to back, who's going to be back to bring some kind of sense?

I love Adriana, like positioning herself as voice of reason in any situation.

Yeah.

If not me, who's going to have any sense in this situation?

And she's like, but then why do you have to have her back?

Gertie can have her own back.

And she goes, oh, then why did you talk to Alexi and Mary Soul when they called me a liar in New York?

And she goes, because you are friends for a year.

Because you were friends for years.

And she's like, but you sat there and you did nothing.

And she goes, but you were friends for years.

I need to listen to the point of view.

Well, that's what I did, babe.

That's all I did, babe.

Busted.

Which is a good point.

You can't use that argument against her when you did the exact same thing.

Yeah, exactly.

So Julia's like, Certainly planned this whole event.

How perverted and deranged?

And

it's like surrogates so Adriana is like to me putting receipts on a wall is more benign than throwing a glass of water in somebody's face but God forbid Julie gets called out about anything and I think that she's right about that I think the water was worse than the receipts I mean the receipts was definitely like a public shaming moment but The water was still water.

I just don't see the receipts.

I mean, the receipts didn't even say anything.

And I'm glad somebody finally says, like, it's not like she showed a dick.

It's not like she put up blowjob pic.

Like, what are are you guys even mad about and then we find out that nobody even read it so well i guess we'll get to that so gurdy showed it was a trap it was a trap that was meant to publicly humiliate even if it didn't execute on that front so like i do think it was it was shitty of gurdy but i think that julia doing that to gurdy at the wedding was way more humiliating

so um

um gurdy shows up and julia starts giving her evil looks you know that she gives and she's like gurdy is here i'm so happy she's

the producer's like well at least you're not a liar oh

so um lisa they have dinner and it's really tense everybody's sitting around together and it's like really tense and lisa's like oh come on we're on a yacht like lighten up okay let's do something guys we should do an exercise we should go around and say positive things we like about each other okay now adriana and marisoule you guys start Okay, well, I like her fashion sense and I like she's loyal to Alexia.

And I like that if I was lotion, I would have something to do on her knees.

Because lotion needs to be needed.

Marisol's like,

well, let me think here.

Well, she did a really good job bringing that bucket of blood.

No, that was me.

No, let's see.

Well, you know what?

It's cool that she can play the piano.

I wish I could play the piano.

So that's that's nice.

So she can play piano a little bit.

And yeah, I think think that's about it.

I think that's about it.

Well, it's okay.

You can play piano, but you're still always tinkling.

So.

See, she can't help herself.

All right, well, that's nice.

Let's do Gertie and Julia.

You guys go.

So Gertie's like, okay, okay.

I'm going to talk like this because I'm going to be the quietest I can be so nobody can call me loud.

Okay.

So I would like to say, Julia, you have a compassionate heart and it shows in everything you do, from embracing two new children in your life and giving them an amazing future and that's all I have to say very wonderful so good for you

well okay well you know how to throw fabulous parties but I also appreciate how you honestly share your emotions and um I cannot hide my emotions okay because I am I guess you could say not fake person who throws parties to shame beautiful Russian okay because I am like the worst actress in the world which by

singer And singer as well.

But see, that's not nice, not nice.

And I thought after we see each other, that we had conversation, we would move forward like goat in farm, going to feeding station, but that we shared the same desire to do that and barely not.

But then you go to the party and then you ask Daniel that question in front of everybody to make me look bad.

She's like, but I only asked Daniel the question because he was there to help.

She goes, oh, but it was a perspective you had that I took a different way.

And I just felt I had to react in such a manner that may or may not have been amicable to you.

Okay, was that calm?

Okay, well, okay.

Star calm enough.

Okay.

Hello, hello, hello.

Star has a question.

Star has a question.

Okay, I have a question for you.

This one is from Peter, who says,

I am an artist, and he says, like, why did you do that at your event?

Nobody here thinks that what you did was okay.

And if Frankie were there, you would have done it in front of Frankie, which is the worst thing of all.

So nobody likes it.

Okay.

Well, I'm not here to take accountability and and counsel from somebody with such dry hair.

So, tell Peter, thank you.

But, no, well, no, you know what?

That was really mean.

That was really mean.

You know what?

We're not okay anymore.

We're not okay.

But also, how is this affecting you?

That's my question.

I'm not, I'm not saying sorry for it.

So, I don't know how it affected you.

And she's like, What the hell with these people?

She's like, They may, it reminds me of being a kid when they would make fun of my name and I was isolated to an area where the kids who couldn't speak English went.

And, you know, being othered basically by these ladies brings me back to that, you know.

So Gertie is saying, like, I'm, uh, I'm not interested in kissing ass.

I'm a love, I'm a lonely lioness, not a following sheep.

Oh, hello, hello.

I'm the lion here.

Okay.

Okay.

Wolf wolf, lion here.

Woof-woof, lying in the room.

You're not the lion.

Red, it was a reaction to what I felt was a betrayal.

And Alexia is like, well, that's the only thing.

She goes, well, who do I know an apology to?

Because I did it and that's what it is.

So you walked out like it was a dick pic.

It was like, oh my God, like a dick pic.

Oh, no.

And she goes, well, I would rather a dick pic because I could see a dick.

That would be good.

That would be a good picture.

I'd be like, hey, you know what?

That was a good party.

I had to see a dick.

Gurdy's like, this is not healthy.

I haven't had a chance for all these months leading up to me being back in the group to express myself.

Oh, Gurney, you included all of us.

And when you did it in front of all of us, I mean, come on.

You know, I love cockies.

So at least give me a dick pic.

Did we move move past the dick pic segment already?

Yeah, but she also assaulted me and she screeched at me at the top of her lungs at your wedding and you didn't even care.

And Adriana is just like trying to figure out how to get wine open.

She's like, somebody could open this wine, maybe, because I don't know.

It's not open.

Do you think if I just rub it up against Marisol's dry bony knees, the top will just come off?

And Julie is mad that she's not defending her.

And Gertie's like, I mean, I understand your friendship with her.

And it's remarkable that you, you know, you run deep with her.

It's fine.

You know what?

You won't listen to me and my side of the story.

So forget it.

No, Gertie, it's not like that.

We're very fair.

She goes, oh, really?

Did you read the text message?

Did you read it?

And Marisel's like, no, of course not.

She goes, okay, well, there you go.

So then they asked Kiki and she's like, no, I still have no idea what that was about.

Like, why would I read that?

And Larsa's like, that was like 500 messages.

It's like too long.

No, it's like so long.

Like, none of them read it.

The producers have like have printed it out and like laminated it for them to look at and they're like this is a lot like this is too much like it's a lot babes a lot of babes in here a lot of babes yeah a lot of babes in here babe babe babe babe babe not enough lenny

he's like yeah i don't know what it this doesn't say anything This is the problem with them.

None of them even fucking read it.

And that's, I knew it because when we, when we did that recap last week or two weeks ago, whenever it was, and I was reading, we got a transcript of them.

And I I was like, There's literally nothing bad in here, there's nothing to be mad about in this whole thing.

And they just all assumed it was some terrible thing.

So, none of them read it, so now they're all trying to read it.

And Lars is like, Yeah, but well, first we see Kiki go, I don't see anything that says,

or anything like that,

so I don't know why it's so bad.

Lars is like, Yeah, but like, I didn't feel like these text messages should be released to strangers because, like, I know like both parties,

okay,

I know them both, and I don't care, so don't show them to strangers.

Some marisol's like, well, that was that was like sabotage, like a booby trap.

It was like you were standing under a bucket of blood, and someone pulled the rope.

You know what I'm saying, Carrie?

Anyone see it?

Scary movie.

Scary, you can't spell scary without Carrie, am I right?

And that's really nasty.

That's calculated.

Yeah, we're all trying to be friends and support each other and like love each other.

Oh, and how is that that deterring from anything oh because like the way you did it like doesn't feel like you care about any of us okay because you could do the same thing to me gertie you could like actually send my text messages out to the public or yeah well she could throw water at you too and marry so it's like well that was never cool we never said that was cool we just didn't storm out and you know we kind of loved it secretly because we've been met you the whole season already so Look, we never said it was cool.

We just sat there quietly and never reprimanded Julia for it and never sat her down and told her that you have to make things right.

But like we never said it was cool.

So, Gertie is like, Julia, the question is, do you want to have a private conversation?

Because if you need time to move forward, then move forward.

We can deliberate more later.

She goes, Absolutely.

It should be conversation private because the feelings are too raw.

We should give it time and then become conversational like adults, trying to move forward.

Um, I will wait until we are in a group setting again and then diss you in front of everybody like adults do.

She's goes, Absolutely.

Yes, that sounds wonderful.

Yes, thank you.

So, now it's the next morning.

Everyone is waking up in their very small rooms and

people are, Adriana's like hungover.

Adriana is pretending like she doesn't remember anything that happened yesterday.

And then

Larsa and Marisol and Alexia are sitting together outside.

And Larsa's like, hey guys, should I call Stephanie like?

Yeah, call her up.

Let's see what that hooker is doing up in Montreal.

So they call Stephanie and she's like, I bet the weather is delicious in Canada.

Nice, cool weather.

Oh, God, I don't really have a lot of Canada material.

You girls are going to have to help me out a little bit.

Khakis.

We're like having fun like those.

So like, it's like fun.

Like, she goes, well, hold on.

Where's the Rottweiler?

Did she bark?

And Marissa goes, oh, that's you, Alexia.

She goes, you know what?

Fuck you, Stephanie.

Fuck you for calling me a Rottweiler when I'm like a penguin lion.

So like, fuck off.

She's like, wait, you told me yesterday I was a Chihuahua and you were a Rottweiler.

I'm making a joke about that.

She goes, oh, no, that's not nice.

I have a name.

My name is Alexia.

Okay, it's not Rottweiler.

Yeah.

She's like, it's way too early in the morning for Alexia to be this upset.

I'm like, this is, I feel like Alexia is morning upset.

Like, she'd be angry in the afternoon.

This is just her, this is her light, this is her half-asleep upset.

So she's, Alexia's like, okay, it was a joke.

Okay, because I'm going to answer the phone with Kiki.

Oh, wow, it was a joke.

She's like, well, I was, she's like, I was joking too.

She's like, well, and we had a late night, clearly.

Can you see she's really upset?

So Stephanie's like, she called herself a Rottweiler.

I was just going with it.

She goes, oh, oh, super funny, Stephanie.

Super funny.

Okay, that was really funny.

And Larsa's like, we need like coffee.

Like,

so Alex, they hang up on her.

And Alexia is like, okay, what, what the fuck was that then?

And Larsa's like, I don't even know like what she was talking about.

I was like, who's a Rottweiler?

What?

Like, I don't know.

How much does he have?

Was it in the text?

Because I'm not reading it.

I don't know what a Rottweiler is.

So Alexia's like, don't fuck with me.

Okay.

Cause we said that playful and she knows it.

And now she's going to call me a Rottweiler.

No, fuck you.

You you can't call me a rottweiler aren't you happy aren't you happy aren't you in fucking montreal in your jet with your perfect husband close to celine dion and your perfect life why the fuck do you need to have to be so mean i think this is where we really see what alexia's problem is with stephanie aren't you happy in your fucking montreal with your jet your perfect husband in your perfect life yeah that's i think that i will say right there

It that 100% does.

I do think, though, that when Stephanie said, where's the Rottweiler?

I don't think she thought Alexia was right there.

I think think she was like that bitch where's that bitch she's just like making a jokey allusion to that and i think alexia clocked it and was like oh you're not saying it in a fun playful way anymore she's like fuck you so like as much as it's like what we had a joke we had a joke we had a joke she would say she'd pivot in front of alexia's face she'd be like how's it going rottweiler because that's how stephanie right she would say it like that but i think that i think there was a subtlety i think stephanie got caught and then she pivoted she's like what is our joke i was like i think stephanie got caught a little bit and you know what i enjoyed it Yeah, I mean, I think Stephanie's okay because she made a reference to what the last thing she had on the boat, which was a Rottweiler fight.

So she was like, so how's the Rottweiler?

Oh, my God.

How dare you?

How dare you?

How dare you?

I don't know.

I just see Alexia being ridiculous.

But you know what?

She makes me laugh.

So I don't really care.

You know what?

I love her.

Yeah, it's so fun.

Great episode.

Thanks, everyone, for being here tomorrow.

We've got some Orange County.

I think you're going to want to watch.

So we'll see you on the next one.

Bye, everybody.

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