#2953 RHOM S7E8 Part 1: Two Ships Sassing in the Night

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens? I'm Ronnie. That's Ben.
Hello,

Speaker 1 Ben. Hi.

Speaker 2 How are you, Ronnie?

Speaker 1 Good. One of my eyes healing up okay.
One of my eyes not healing up okay. What the hell? Am I going to be wonky-eyed for the rest of my life?

Speaker 1 What's wrong? Is it forever? Look, this one's one's all swollen and purple still, and this one's not.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe you got an infection or something. Maybe she could just go to get it checked out.

Speaker 1 I'm sure it's fine. I had that done in Texas, so guess what?

Speaker 1 I'm just praying. I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Does it hurt, though?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Oh, if it doesn't hurt, then you're probably not infected. It's probably just bruising.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's like you're my own doctor. That's what I always say to myself.
If you're not bleeding, don't go to the hospital.

Speaker 1 Hell, even if you are bleeding, use a paper towel and some Velcro and close that shit up. What are you going to do?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Yeah, I think if it were infected, you would feel something and it would be like really uncomfortable. But if it's just bruising, it's just, you know, it's the body sweating.

Speaker 1 Guess what? I feel. I feel nothing.
Everybody, welcome to the show. Today is Real Housewives of Miami.
We're super excited. Okay.
It was dueling yacht day, Real Housewives of Miami.

Speaker 1 If you want to watch this on video, you can. Just go over to Crappins on Demand.
Okay. That's where we do these on video.
It's on our Patreon. If you don't want to do that, whatever.

Speaker 1 You don't have to. We're there for free a week later over on our YouTube channel.
Also, our bonus episodes are open on Patreon, up on Patreon.

Speaker 1 And this week's is about our trip to Vegas, seeing Beyoncé, seeing backstreet boys, getting mad at hotels and airlines, you know, good stuff like that.

Speaker 1 But today, here we are with the Real Housewives of Miami, Season 7, Episode 8. Dueling Yachts.

Speaker 1 Mmm, yacht fight. Yacht fight.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't think we've ever seen this before on Bravo.

Speaker 2 Two yachts chartered for one episode.

Speaker 2 It's kind of amazing, actually.

Speaker 2 It's funny because,

Speaker 2 you know, I watched the screener for this week's Orange County right after this.

Speaker 2 And really going from a show that just has is like flush with colors and water, like beautiful turquoise water and palm fronds

Speaker 2 and two separate yachts and then going to like

Speaker 2 newport beach it's an adjustment i have to say it really is whiplash going from miami to orange county but it also just is really more of a statement of how luxe this show is and i just don't know why anyone anyone would sleep on it because this is the luxury that we want from bravo

Speaker 1 yeah and you know the beginning of this season we saw um kiki talking about how she used to date a guy who had a yacht and that's why she or what is he like the head of the yacht club or something

Speaker 2 yeah she did mention that. Yes.

Speaker 1 So now she's like getting these yachts for her party episode, you know, but I guess the guy, whoever she's dating, I guess he's like, just take two smaller ones.

Speaker 1 And I actually like that because it led to like fighting over two boats, which I thought was really creative. You know, we've already seen fighting on one boat.

Speaker 1 And then with this cast, we saw fighting on the on the pontoon thing in Mexico, which was, you know, classic. So they're like, well, you know what? How are we going to try and top this two boats?

Speaker 2 Yeah, they really like putting their camera people on restricted boat spaces because there was no room on that boat in Mexico City.

Speaker 2 And this one, because these boats were smaller yachts, we're used to below deck where those camera people can just travel on any deck without any issue.

Speaker 2 But here you see them like trying to kind of like squeeze down the side of the boat as they're trying to, you know.

Speaker 2 follow the cast members with their water guns. It was kind of funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a good one. So we open at Julian Martina's home, and there's, it's chaos.
You know, we just see birds squawking, elephants,

Speaker 1 giraffes tearing down trees, rhinoceroses, you know, like beating down garage doors. That's what they use is like a garage door opener, just like a rhinoceros.

Speaker 1 And then kids running around, Martina trying to figure out what a Pop-Tart is, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's, it's pure chaos. But luckily, they're wealthy.
These are wealthy lesbians who can afford a nanny. So the nanny will take over now.

Speaker 2 And instead, Julia and Martina go and look at the sunset together.

Speaker 1 And Julia's like, you know, I have you and we have each other and we have boys and we have girls. We have girls.
And nothing in between.

Speaker 1 Never betwixt shall they meet.

Speaker 1 So Julia is like, right now, everything in my life and in Martina's life is about boys. I was told boys are more active.
And they definitely are, but year of grazing goat, make me prepared.

Speaker 2 So yeah, we see the kids are, the boys are like in high chairs. They're like flipping over things on the table.

Speaker 2 It's just, it is chaos, as you said. It is pure chaos.
There's like powder in the air, like things are flying everywhere. It's madness.

Speaker 1 So, um,

Speaker 1 then Martina's like, well, speaking of, we have to put them to sleep tonight. Could you choose better terminology?

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. I'm talking about your goats.
I can't do all this. Oh.

Speaker 1 I'm still upset about Gertie and how she behaved yesterday at the event. Okay, well, that has nothing to do with us putting the boys to bed, but sure, I guess you'll just change the subject.

Speaker 1 Probably it's a good thing I didn't go to that, because you know what I would have done? I would have sat there cross-legged and given, you know, roly eye looks. They watch out, ladies.

Speaker 1 Martina's coming.

Speaker 1 And you're about to get Navratilova.

Speaker 1 I might have put out an extremely problematic tweet.

Speaker 1 So Julie's like, oh, it's so petty. By the way, I left.
Ronnie,

Speaker 2 are you supposed to be using that wand on your healing eye?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to heal it with red lights. Ronnie,

Speaker 2 don't.

Speaker 1 Red light is healing. This is how Jesus healed lepers.
Red light. Red light wand.

Speaker 2 I think don't touch it. Don't touch it.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not like oozing. It's just like

Speaker 1 if it's bruising is not,

Speaker 1 it's just like bruising, you know?

Speaker 2 You're like vibrating on it. You're vibrating on your bruise.

Speaker 1 Well, isn't that it? Isn't that what healers do?

Speaker 2 They tap. I don't know.
I'm not a.

Speaker 1 I'm not you, and they put heat on you. I mean, I'm just, I'm the, I'm the Reiki healer for myself from Vanderpump Rules.
Be nice to meet you.

Speaker 2 I am not a doctor.

Speaker 2 I'm not a doctor, but I am someone who watched Dr. Nicole on this episode.
And I'm going to say, I don't think you should be fiddling with that eye. Just let it heal on its own.

Speaker 1 Well, it's been ready. You do your forehead.
Let's see my forehead.

Speaker 2 You've got much more. You can play around with all the rest of your face, but not that eye.
Just let that eye do its thing.

Speaker 1 Well, let's wait because by the end of the episode, look, my eye already looks better. I'm telling you.
I just fixed it, you guys. Does it look better? I think it does.

Speaker 1 Oh, I don't know because I'm blinding this eye now.

Speaker 2 It was like

Speaker 2 you've been putting red light into your eyeballs, and then you're like, wow, I can't see the red anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You guys, if you think you look bad, you should blind yourself in one eye and you'll look better.

Speaker 1 I just decided

Speaker 1 staring into a light.

Speaker 2 I can't see how far away I am from the screen.

Speaker 1 I just solved it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so they're talking about how this whole, you know, Julia's doing her whole victim thing. Like, oh, I'm so upset about Gerdi and how she behaved.
It's all so petty.

Speaker 1 I left and Adriana wanted me to go hash it out with her. And Martina's like, there is no hashing out.
There is no hashing out.

Speaker 1 How dare she put up completely benign text that said nothing bad on a screen?

Speaker 1 Hashtag no hashing.

Speaker 1 So Julia is like, well, after having time to think about why Adriana didn't follow me, I'm starting to think that there was some sort of resentment towards me.

Speaker 1 Like, maybe she doesn't like that I stop hanging out with her and hanging out with her mortal enemies. Like, I don't know.
She's crazy like that.

Speaker 1 Because now my friends are marisol and alexia the cool girls they've accepted me on wednesdays we wear pink

Speaker 1 i love that julie is so confused she's like maybe adriana's resentful yeah maybe she is because you dropped her like a bag of hot potatoes a bag of hot potatoes you dropped her like a yeah i would drop that

Speaker 2 i don't even want to drop a man imagine a single potato is bad enough but a bag of them and i'm assuming the bag's not insulated right

Speaker 1 just a mesh bag with all the heat where you just touch all those hot surfaces yeah but i mean a bag of hot potatoes isn't bad because at least you're not like burning your hand.

Speaker 1 I mean, the point is it's a hot potato, but it's not in a bag. I mean, I could take a hot potato in a bag.

Speaker 2 Why'd you put your hot potato in the bag in the first place? That's not to deliver it, man.

Speaker 1 How else are you going to do her dash?

Speaker 1 Got to make the mortgage. So anyway, she dropped her like a poopy diaper.

Speaker 2 Like a bad habit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Julia. Julia's just shocked.
She's treating everybody like shit. And then now all of a sudden they don't like her anymore.
Hi, I'm your friend. Consequences, you dumb, stupid Julia.

Speaker 1 Even I don't like you, Julia. And I used to love you.

Speaker 2 I love Julia. And I'm so, I'm just.

Speaker 1 I even don't like your goat anymore. Just cat.
I don't like your goat. I still like the goat.
I still like the goat. I like the goat.

Speaker 2 I disagree with everything you say. I'm going to copycat you the whole rest of the episode.

Speaker 2 Question.

Speaker 2 Is there any coming back from Julia? Because like we loved Julia for the longest time. And now she's taking this turn.

Speaker 2 You know, I know every season people like you hate someone one season, you love them the next season, but this season has shown like a social climby side of Julia, like a side that like really was not there.

Speaker 2 And I'm wondering, like, with a good edit next season or like walking things back, can we really like Julia again? Or has that ship sailed?

Speaker 1 I saw her on Watch Happens live last night, and she's like, Gerdy, I would love to talk to you and I would love to settle this at the reunion. Please, Gerdy, please come back to me, Gerdy.
Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Because you've been making snotty little comments all over your Instagram and making little laughy emojis when people are on your side about throwing water on her and everything else.

Speaker 1 So your apology is bullshit. Okay.
And it's too late.

Speaker 1 And did you see the interviews with Gertie that have been going around this week where she's talking about how this boat thing happened even before the last reunion? I mean, it was forever ago. So

Speaker 1 Julia had no problem. She still stood up for her all-reunion, had no problem with it until she needed a storyline to be on Mari Soul and Alexia's side shame

Speaker 2 shame on you shame shame shame on you's

Speaker 1 oh my god this happened a year ago and that's when then she comes at me at the party that's why I'm looking like am I in the Truman show am I in the Truman show right now I'm looking around at the cameras like what

Speaker 1 what

Speaker 2 I like this like puppet thing you're doing there that's very muppet very muppet coded that's how she's that's how she is She is Muppety. Let's be honest.

Speaker 2 But do you think there's coming back for Julia? Do you think she could have a good edit next season and we embrace her again? Or do you think she has been forever tarnished?

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, look, Julia is like a wackadoo. I think as long as she keeps goats and wackiness in her life, she'll be fine.

Speaker 1 But the only coming back for me, like if she goes up to her wife and says, stop your bullshit, racist,

Speaker 1 homophobic, nasty tweeting.

Speaker 2 And I scout.

Speaker 1 Stop acting like a fucking asshole and embarrassing me all over the place and behave yourself. I mean, it would have to start there.
Like it would have to start even beyond the gurdy stuff.

Speaker 1 As far as the gurdy stuff, I think she can only heal herself if she realizes that who she's fighting for are evil. You know, like Alexei and Mary Sol are very funny.

Speaker 1 I would never say like, get rid of them. I think they're, you know, an integral part of the show, but they're evil and you cannot side with evil.

Speaker 1 So I hope it's like one of the movies where you side with evil and then you realize that that you've sided with evil and then you do the right thing and you defeat evil. You know, something like that.

Speaker 1 But otherwise, no.

Speaker 2 I don't think Alexia and Marisol are evil

Speaker 2 because we've seen evil on these shows before and they're just they're just Alexia and Marisol.

Speaker 2 What I do think though is that they're evil to Adriana and I think that Julia and they are their own clique and I think Julia has exposed like some sort of pick-me energy with them and she's abandoned her friend.

Speaker 2 Now is her friend unstable and also actually quite terrible

Speaker 2 in and of herself? Yes. Yes, she is.
Did she just leave one like flaming pile of garbage for another?

Speaker 2 Perhaps, but still, I think it was like, I do think that like Adriana and Julia had a real bond and it's sad to see her leave that. Now, of course, there's also, you could make an argument.

Speaker 2 Here comes a classic Ben. flip-flop slightly.
It's not really a flip-flop, but I'm just like adding, like acknowledging a point. So that way, I just acknowledge it, which is that,

Speaker 2 like, being friends with Adriana is probably really annoying. And, like, if Adriana should have also just been like, cool, be friends with him.
That's okay.

Speaker 2 But I think the issue is that Julia also ditched Adriana in the process. I mean, both of them are so territorial, Alexia and Adriana.

Speaker 2 So, you know, Alexia was probably not down for Julia to hang out unless she ditched Adriana. And Adriana is not going to be happy with Julia unless she ditches Alexia.

Speaker 2 So, you know, damned if you do damned if you don't but you might as well just stick with the the devil you know right what am i even saying am i arguing anything at this point am i just talking yeah no i'm listening to you but um i think

Speaker 1 that part of the adriana thing is that she's got her own karma from the leah season because leah brought adriana onto this show she got her cast on this show and then adriana turned on her to be friends with uh the popular girls.

Speaker 1 Remember, she was making her stab at going against Leah to get the favor of Mary Soul and Alexia and all of them. So she's already done that.
I mean, that was years and years ago, obviously.

Speaker 1 But this is kind of her karma coming to fruition. So then she gets this other lady on the show and this other lady does the exact same thing to her.

Speaker 1 She dumps her literally for no reason just to go to these other ladies and be popular. And it's, you know, the cycle continues.
It's a circle of life. It's a circle of life.

Speaker 2 It does.

Speaker 2 And I am in no way supporting Julia and the way she just dropped Adriana and just like fled to the the cool girls but what i am going to say is that there is a part of me that can understand that you've come onto this show and you're stuck at like the shit table with adriana like season after season and it's only because adriana can't like act like a grown-up sometimes like she's like really like an impetulent child all the time and julia is kind of like i'm sick of sitting at the kiddie table i want to do more fun things i want to go to more parties i want to hang out with other people so i in some ways i can actually kind of understand it, but I still think it's really shitty.

Speaker 2 I think there's a way to like make new friends and keep the old, you know, and I think that Julia was, has, has done it in a social climy way instead of a, um, hey, I want to have more of this, like a, a fuller experience on this show.

Speaker 1 And isn't it funny how she ended up getting away from petulant Adriana by acting petulant to be in with the other ladies?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like throwing water on somebody,

Speaker 1 throwing a fit for no reason. She's going petulant to be friends with the other ladies to avoid the petulant person.
It's like, it's like Miami logic is so, it's mine, it's mind-boggling.

Speaker 1 Miami logic is mind-boggling.

Speaker 2 And it's a great reminder of how great this show is. It's so wonderful.

Speaker 2 There's so much going on. So anyway,

Speaker 2 Julia is still talking and she's like, I closed my eyes and I thought about it for a second. The party.
And I just,

Speaker 1 when she humiliated me, I just walked back in because I just had one question for Gerdy.

Speaker 2 So one night earlier, she goes up to, she goes up to Gerdy and she goes, what was the point of you doing this?

Speaker 2 And Gurdy's like, well, you promised, you said to me, Gerdy, what I will do is I'm going to say this.

Speaker 1 You can't turn your fingers out of my face like you normally do. You are.

Speaker 2 You're not listening. You're not listening.
Okay, what's your name? What's your finger?

Speaker 1 Finger facer?

Speaker 2 No, I have 10 fingers and I will use them and point them in any direction I want to because these fingers, it's my party for my fingers. This is a party for fingers.

Speaker 2 And fingers can point in every direction, up, down, left, right, in directions you don't even know about.

Speaker 2 Humankind doesn't even understand these directions because they're in different dimensions and I get to use them. So what are you here for? Go home, girl, buy.

Speaker 2 No class coming here with sneakers on while I humiliate you with text messages.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're allowed to yell at lesbians for wearing sneakers. I will say that.
I'm on Gertie's side.

Speaker 1 I'm on Gertie's side for this whole fight, but I think that lesbians have like fought for a long time for the right to wear sneakers places. I'm just going to say that.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's a fair point. I also do love

Speaker 2 Gertie, who has just gone out of her way to publicly humiliate Julia to then be like, oh, you have no class wearing sneakers. At least dress formally while I humiliate you publicly.

Speaker 1 And Martina's like, oh, well, I have sneakers. I mean, I wore these sneakers.
These are real Chanel sneakers. And I wore them to the Royal Box.
And they said, you can't come in with sneakers.

Speaker 1 And I said, these are Chanel. And I'm a lesbian.
and they said fine and so I did um so I was

Speaker 1 at the royal box yeah you're also extremely rich and famous you dumbass it's not like you were at the royal box for any other reason Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 By the way, the royal box does sound like a lesbian bar. So then we see, of course, Julia and Martina at Lake Wimbledon sitting behind Princess Kate and Megan Markle.

Speaker 1 So then Julia's like, but Gerdi is not whatever issues she could have with me. I apologize for the water.
I apologize.

Speaker 2 And we see the apology and everything.

Speaker 1 And she goes, I thought we were moving forward. Progress was made.
She goes, not so much. It's a serious thing when people have cancer and they survive it.

Speaker 1 And we're celebrating the fact that they survive. Because 20 years ago, it might have been a death sentence.
And that's what she does at her event.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 you know, perhaps

Speaker 2 on one end, you have a point, but on the other hand, it's like,

Speaker 2 What a way to celebrate being alive than using your platform to publicly humiliate a fellow real housewife.

Speaker 1 That is living. I don't like this whole like, oh, we have cancer, so suddenly we have manners.
I mean, I'm sorry. Do they put manners in chemo now? Get the fuck out of here with that.

Speaker 1 If I had cancer and I overcame that shit, guess what my response would be? Fuck all of you guys. You tried to take me down.
I'm still fucking here.

Speaker 1 Now you're all going to have to hear it every fucking day of my life. You know, I almost died before I got to tell you to fuck off.
How horrible would that have been? I never fucking liked you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's living.

Speaker 1 That's living. That's how to go for cancer recovery.
Not with fucking manners. Get out of here with your manners, talking your sneakers in the royal box anyway.
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Speaker 1 Arabian night style home under massive construction. Let's go see Stephanie's extremely tacky house.

Speaker 1 We knew this was coming.

Speaker 2 We knew it was coming. She's trying to untackify it.
But I have bad news for you, Stephanie. It's going to require a teardown.

Speaker 1 It's in the bones. It's in the house.

Speaker 2 It's in the bones. It's in the bones.
It's all over.

Speaker 1 It was one of those Epcot Center, like, look, we're in a different world. We're in Maria.
You go around the corner and they're selling like kebabs.

Speaker 1 And then you go around the other corner and they're selling like crepes. And there's a guy in a beret.

Speaker 2 No? I love that. I actually love Epcot Center.
I I do too. Like you're selling me.
I'm like, why don't we do a show at Epcot Center?

Speaker 1 We should do that.

Speaker 2 I did do the drinking around the world in Epcot Center and it was a blast. I made a whole video and it was on YouTube for a while, but

Speaker 2 it got taken down because I used like six seconds of Celine Dion in

Speaker 2 the video. And it's like copyright infringement.
Celine does not like me drinking around the world. But I mean, I love Celine.
I'll do anything she says.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did drinking around the world too. In the world, like a normal alcoholic.
Doesn't have to go to fucking Epcot to do it.

Speaker 2 Well, Stephanie shows up and Larsa shows up and Stephanie's, welcome to my soon-to-be humble abode, Larsa. She's like, wow, it's like a full-on construction site.
Like

Speaker 2 Larsa.

Speaker 2 That was good.

Speaker 1 I mean, seriously.

Speaker 1 So it's huge. It's one of those like with giant doors, you know, and in Texas, we have gigantic doors for no reason as well.
They're like, you know what we need in this house? A 20-foot tall door.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. But you know what we should do in a place with heat that we can't keep out of our homes no matter how hard we try? We should put garage doors as our front doors.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it's one of those.

Speaker 1 It's one of those. And Stephanie's like, it's like a castle, right? What, right? Like, it's like a castle.
She goes, yeah, it is a castle. It is like a castle.
Like, it's not like a castle.

Speaker 1 It's like a castle. Like,

Speaker 1 wow.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And Stephanie's like, yeah, for like a queen.
Excuse me, Porfavour. Can we stop the construction for like two minutes, please?

Speaker 2 You know that she intentionally had that guy there working so that way she could walk in and tell him to stop working.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 She just knew how to talk to construction man.

Speaker 1 She's the guy with the keytar. She's like, can we stop that sawing and extreme construction? She's like, like,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 2 It's Howard Jones.

Speaker 1 So she tells us, Masoud built us this house with his ex-wife. And after he got a divorce, Masood and I moved to a condo.
And then Masood wanted this house again after the divorce.

Speaker 1 And I said, oh, hell no. I'm not doing that.
I'm not moving some ex-wife's used things. You've got the ex-wife's used ass wrinkly old balls down to the knees, dick.

Speaker 1 So what's the problem with the house?

Speaker 1 Please, you had no problem stealing the man. I have I you should keep the house with pride and be like, I got the old dick and your house too.
I would do Instagram videos like, look at me.

Speaker 1 I'm washing my hair in the sink you put in here. Wife that I stole old person from.
Suck it.

Speaker 2 Listen, I'm going to back Stephanie on this one, not because of any sort of principles of like old versus new, but just because we know the interior was probably like ghastly in this place.

Speaker 1 so it's going to be ghastly in the new one, too. Stephanie's tasteless, it's all going to be white.
I think it's going to be like white, white, white, white, and white, and white, and white.

Speaker 1 It's going to be that new modern that they do in all the house flips and stuff.

Speaker 2 You know what's going to be in there? I guarantee a kitchen island that's black with really aggressive white veining, which is my least favorite. I do not like an aggressive veining

Speaker 2 on the black marble.

Speaker 2 Disgusting. Or a wiener.
I think she'll do that.

Speaker 1 Or a wiener. Yeah.
So this is a 22,000 square foot home. The ceiling height is 40 feet high, and she's somehow making it look small.
I thought it looked cramped myself.

Speaker 1 Like you walk in, there's stairs. Then there's like crampy stairs with like walls.
I don't know. It looks very cramped to me.

Speaker 2 You know, a closed concept is the new open concept. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 I told you that was coming back.

Speaker 1 Walls.

Speaker 1 I said it years ago. People are going to be sick of this open concept shit.

Speaker 1 People walk into your house. They see all your dirty dishes.
They see every crappy thing your kid ever painted all over the fridge. You know, bring back what's going on.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's no place to hang art. And like I've told you before, I like the, the, the, the, the way they used to do it in like old England, which is that you're only allowed to go in as far into the home.

Speaker 2 as you are close to the people.

Speaker 2 So I just love the passive aggression of like letting someone come into only like the second room and be like, yeah this is where it ends like do we get to see a house tour no you know your access is just you're only you're four or plus sorry uh we'll let you know if you actually graduate to the next level yeah when we went to uh miss patricia's home in charleston when we did a show in charleston we got to go to miss patricia's home and ben called that out immediately because we were sat in the front room by the butler michael rip

Speaker 1 and um had some drinks and she comes down you know lounging a little bit late as she should be because she's a lady.

Speaker 1 And we sat there and then she's like, well, let's go into the next room. And you're like, oh, my God.
And so we went to the next room. I was like, what's his, what's his deal? So we saw the next room.

Speaker 1 We sat there for a while. And then she's like, what? Let me, let me show you something in the dining room.
So we ended up moving to another room.

Speaker 1 And Ben was getting, I was like, why do I have to get up so much? You know, but Ben loved it. And finally, Ben was like, I'm so honored that we made it through your complete house.

Speaker 1 And she's like, yes, you did actually.

Speaker 2 You're like, bedroom i think you're supposed to be sequestered in the front until you like me more and then you're brought to the next room she goes yeah that's exactly how it works you passed congratulations those old-timey uh country homes in in like england for instance they were like the layout was like one room leads into the other leads into the other it was like a linear layout you don't just like walk in you can go the left to this room to the right to that room

Speaker 2 you just go straight and like you only got to go as far into the path as you were allowed to, as you were like conceived, seen as important.

Speaker 2 So, like, if you were really important, like a royal, you got to go all the way to the end.

Speaker 2 And by the way, if you thought you were going to see a kitchen, you were not, because kitchens were not for showing off. That was where the servants were.

Speaker 2 So, it is fun to see how it, I mean, I still like, I think, I think I'm okay with us, the people gathering in the kitchen.

Speaker 2 I don't think we need to relegate that to the shadows, but I do like the idea of like

Speaker 2 passive aggressively.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like really, that's what every house is these days is has a kitchen with ancillary side nooks. But I do like the idea about a passive aggressive house to it.

Speaker 1 I live in that. Like, you open my front door and you're in the kitchen.
It's like, well, would you rather go to the kitchen or the kitchen? Because that's where we're going to go today.

Speaker 2 I know, kitchens are crazy. The fact that now kitchens have, like, in terms of, in like the McMansions, kitchens have, like, two kitchen islands.
It's so funny to me.

Speaker 2 You got the kitchen island that you cook on and the kitchen island that you sort of eat and hang out on. And so, it's like,

Speaker 2 everyone's house is slowly turning into the kit, into the tent at a

Speaker 2 British bake-off.

Speaker 1 That's like big, big energy for a kitchen to have double islands. Oh, they're so annoying, though.
I used to cater, and one

Speaker 1 time, someone, the first time I ever saw a double island, what a pain in the ass. You do everything at this giant island, then you have to walk around and carry everything to the second island.

Speaker 1 It's not comfortable. And then you can't talk to anybody anyway.
They're so far away on the other island, and you're cooking on the back island. Like,

Speaker 1 how's everything going over there? Do you want to kick it? Yeah, everyone just looks,

Speaker 2 everyone's just making their homes look like food network shows, really.

Speaker 1 Which are all being canceled.

Speaker 1 Did it to yourself, food network, you did it to yourself.

Speaker 2 Too bad they were such good quality shows.

Speaker 1 Too bad. Yeah, they've just canceled.
But guess what else is this recap? Because we're supposed to be recapping a show about a tacky house. This house is going to be tacky house.
Tacky houses.

Speaker 1 And also just the gall of this lady walking around, like all the rumors of this, whatever you all have been reading on Reddit, I cannot wait for this stuff to be brought out on the show.

Speaker 1 Like how she got that husband, what she's been doing with that husband,

Speaker 1 what happened to the ex-wife. I need to know.
I want the ex-wife brought on this show because the rumors are that Stephanie worked for the ex-wife. She was like the assistant.

Speaker 1 And then she, you know, this is all alleged shit I hear from Reddit. So I don't know what's true.
Stephanie's all denied all this on podcasts and stuff like that, but who knows?

Speaker 1 But the gall, if that is true, for her to be walking into the home of the lady that she supposedly used to work for and then stole her husband and her job at the company and can't steal a husband.

Speaker 1 Okay, we all know that, but still, and then walking through the house and being like, I'll keep her house, but I don't want a piece of her in it. Got the whole thing.

Speaker 1 That, whether you like this girl or not, I'm leaning on not. It's huevos.
It's huevos that she's.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She says, when I first went into Ms.
Sud's house, it was not my style. It was so Persian.
I'm like, you know who else is Persian? Your husband.

Speaker 1 Hello. You know what else is so Persian?

Speaker 1 Masud's wiener.

Speaker 2 I honestly felt like there was a genie that was going to come out of the chimney. So Stephanie starts showing Larsa some more.
you know, unfinished rooms and everything.

Speaker 2 And she's like, this is going to be the master. Love it.
And wait, Larsa, wait, wait, wait, wait. When you come into the grand closet, look at this grand closet.

Speaker 2 Look, it's a little over a thousand square feet. Okay, check it out.

Speaker 2 And this wall over here, this is where all the Birkins will be before we inevitably find ourselves in a financial scandal and they get sold off.

Speaker 1 This is a mannequin representing the ex-wife. And every day I come in here and dismantle it a little bit more.
Take off a thumb, take off a pinky finger, then we go with the whole hand.

Speaker 1 Also, I love that she still uses the terminology master, but

Speaker 1 then she changes the terminology for closet to be grand closet.

Speaker 1 Grand closet.

Speaker 1 The grand closet.

Speaker 2 I didn't even know there was such a thing as the grand closet.

Speaker 1 I've never heard that. She made that shit up.
This lady is such an asshole.

Speaker 2 Yes, she is.

Speaker 1 But I'm enjoying it today. I don't know why.
I think I'm enjoying it today because she's trying so hard to get Larsa to care. And Larsa's just like, whatever.
Last, this is like really big. Wow.

Speaker 1 That's really cool. She goes, yeah.
And this wall goes all the way down and it's going to be all Birkins.

Speaker 2 I love that she describes how a wall works. This wall goes all the way down to the next wall.
So

Speaker 2 it's like, yes, we can see the corner.

Speaker 2 She's like, I want my own.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking about the Birkins to this degree. You're sad.
Okay. You're just supposed to be like, this is where the bags go.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. Somewhere to put them where people don't see them.
That's just so embarrassing.

Speaker 2 She is definitely

Speaker 2 peak of new money.

Speaker 2 But again, I like her on this show because she fits right in and she's not afraid to speak her mind and stand up to

Speaker 2 the ones who've been there for years and years.

Speaker 2 So she's going on about like, I want my own, I want my wine cellar, I want my own gym, a spa, a makeup room, staff quarters to have their own entrance so they don't have to use my entrance.

Speaker 2 Disgusting. Somewhere in Newport Beach, Heather DeBro is like, snaps to that.
Yes, I love this girl. America's sweetheart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she wants a lot. I just want ears that don't grow hair, you know? But, you know, we all want different things.
So Lars is like, oh my God, we're like going to like be tanning like naked.

Speaker 1 And Stephanie tells us how the cost was so high. They could have just bought a new home, but they wanted this house and she wanted to be fully happy.
So had to do what we had to do.

Speaker 1 So they walk back out to the backyard pool area. And I love that she's like,

Speaker 1 she's stripped the entire outside of whatever it was supposed to be, but it still looks the same. Like

Speaker 1 the same thing.

Speaker 2 It's the same. She moved the pool far away.
She's like, I want the pool over there because Masud, I want him at every corner he turns not to be reminded of the past.

Speaker 2 I'm like, the only one who's talking about the past is you, to be honest.

Speaker 2 And if you're that concerned that a pool is going to somehow like send him back to whatever state of mind he was in, then you may have some more troubles in your marriage and you're giving on or letting on.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's, yeah, it's kind of sad, but I don't really like her, so I like it. I like watching a slow demise.

Speaker 1 So she's like, I'm going to have a housewarming party and anyone who brings bad juju is going to be escorted out. Escorted out.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Lars is like, I mean, like, yeah, like, how crazy like was the other night? Like, that was like so like crazy.

Speaker 1 Like, there were so many words that were put up on a screen my my ears started bleeding words hurt

Speaker 1 it was too much i mean i'm very opinionated i have a lot to get off my chest and oh wait by the way can i show you the rest of the house before we talk about this no because like what do you got to get off your chest like i feel like you got off like your xyz like off your chest like with alexia like like what else could you like have to do like

Speaker 2 Well, I mean, okay, fine. We can talk about her.

Speaker 2 Well, she thinks that you keep bringing up Todd. And I know it's a a very sensitive subject for her, which is why she brings it up all the time to all of us.

Speaker 1 Because I did hear her say that. MS parties themed for Todd.

Speaker 2 And then retracts the theme and changes it around.

Speaker 2 I was saying you're beautiful. You don't have to, like, you know, you have so much to bring.
I mean, if God takes out the garbage,

Speaker 2 make sure the ex-wife is in the garbage bag, too. I mean, you don't go back diving for it.
Okay. All she's done is try to belittle and put me down.

Speaker 2 And I have yet to go to one good event with you guys. Honestly.
I'm like, lady, you're in the real housewives. There are no good events.

Speaker 1 That's part of the formula. I hope that the ex-wife makes a gif of her saying, you got to take out the garbage.
Sometimes God takes out the garbage and just waits for this divorce.

Speaker 1 Are they even married yet? Are these two married? Or did she just change her last name?

Speaker 1 Because she changed her last name.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no, they are married. Yeah, they're married.
They're married. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They are?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're married.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. So then we see Alexia laying into her saying, like, oh, well, if you want to be neutral and go in there and kiss Gertie's ass, then you do that.
She's like, I'm not kissing anyone's ass.

Speaker 1 And you need to shut the fuck up. You need to fucking shut the fuck up.
So then back to present. Larza's like, yeah, you can't let go after Todd.

Speaker 1 And so she says, before Gertie's event, Kiki had planned a yacht excursion for all the girls, but they only booked one yacht and then it all went to shit. So now they've had to book two yachts.

Speaker 1 So we see a little meeting of Kiki and Larza deciding to get the second boat. Don't, don't, don't.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so there's a lot of coordination here. I really enjoyed this process, by the way.
So they're putting people in this boat and that boat. And ultimately,

Speaker 2 Alexi, I mean, Adriana is like a bit of a, she's like a bit of a, like a landmine. No one wants to be on the same boat as her.

Speaker 1 No one wants to be on her boat.

Speaker 2 They try to put Marisol on the same boat as her, but they just sort of know that that's, I think they try. They're like, that'll be funny, but then they realize, this won't work out.

Speaker 2 So they call it Marisol and like, Marisol, do you want to be there with Adrian? She's like, no, I don't like it, guys. I do not enjoy being around Adriana.
I mean, we're talking overnight.

Speaker 2 She might come in my room and murder me in the middle of the night before I've had my cocky.

Speaker 2 Sorry, it's my signature thing. I don't know if you guys heard about the cocky.
You guys heard about cockies before?

Speaker 1 She might come in and murder me. I mean, it'll be like the set of Carrie in there.
I mean, what are they going to do? Drop blood from the ceiling?

Speaker 1 What are things going to be flying all over the place And the prom? I mean, is that what we're doing here? It's like, Carrie,

Speaker 1 which she won't let go of that. She's like, did we get that? You're using my Carrie bit, right? You want me to do it again today? I'll do it again today.

Speaker 2 I do love her, like...

Speaker 2 her old old-timey pop culture references, which, and I say this as someone who frequently references things from the 80s as if they are current and everyone will get them, but she really goes for it.

Speaker 2 Like, if it's like someone from the 60s, that's like Bachula LeClerc over there. I mean, come on, everyone.

Speaker 1 Why do you, Donnie Osmond on the weekends? Come on.

Speaker 2 Oh, Clark Gable just walked in, everyone. I guess we all better bow down.

Speaker 1 Ah, she's really Judy girling that one up.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they, Stephanie's like, can we just continue with the tour? Like, I mean, come on. We only have another 10,000 square feet to go.

Speaker 2 She literally says that, and they don't even bother showing the rest.

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Speaker 2 So now we go to Alexia's home, and now we have a scene with, oh, well, you know, Peter, because Peter has arrived, and he hugs Frankie, etc.

Speaker 2 And Alexia is like, oh, well, Peter, you know, you like it here? I love that you like coming over here. It's a good house for artists because, you know, you are an artist.

Speaker 2 So, like, you like it, Peter?

Speaker 1 And he's like, no, we just have the spot here on the beach it's fun i'm like oh god

Speaker 2 peter still

Speaker 1 if i were if i were ever in the same room with peter i would just like kind of slowly make my way towards him and just find a reason to stand next to him and then just like poke him with a needle i would like to see

Speaker 2 me even react like has he ever been caffeinated i mean is there anything we can do to sort of like speed this guy's talk are there any living cells cells on this person?

Speaker 1 What is happening to this person? And he's always kind of been like that, but then every year his hair gets a little bit drier and he just seems to slow down a little bit more.

Speaker 1 Well, he needs to,

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, he's like, he needs to like start committing to like a buzz cut or something. Cause obviously we can see the hair is thinning and it's like getting stringier and like that's fine.

Speaker 2 But like he's trying to kind of think cover it up by growing it long, but it just sort of is looking like Gerard Depradou-ish at this point.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's a good one. You know, it's like Gerard Depradou meets Quentin Tarantino.
It's like, you've got like...

Speaker 2 director hair, but you don't actually have any credits to your name. So like, you know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's got like intellectual hiding in the library in college, like with dusty books and stuff. Like

Speaker 1 philosophical arguments with everybody, but he doesn't do any of those things.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like an intellectuals are allowed to have that awful hair because they're intellectual. So they like excel in a different area.

Speaker 2 But if you're not excelling in like intellectual things or if you're not like in the arts, you really shouldn't have that hair.

Speaker 1 Or just excelling at anything.

Speaker 1 Like if you excel at nothing, at least groom.

Speaker 1 That's what I said. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because like if you're like a professor, it's like, oh, well, he just doesn't have time to do his hair properly because he's busy in academia. He's busy doing things.

Speaker 2 Or if he's an accountant, it's tax season. But like, he's just doing nothing.
Like, there's just no, no, you're in Miami. Like,

Speaker 2 this is the city of knowing what to do with your hair.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got a groom. So, uh, and I'm, I'm speaking as someone in like a three-day-old t-shirt and, um, uh, a very swollen eye that I'm redlighting, but we're doing something,

Speaker 2 but we're doing something for podcasting, which is very, very, it's very important to the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, rigorous and important.

Speaker 1 So, uh, Peter's like, yeah, you just gotta keep yourself emotionally stable, mom.

Speaker 1 And the producer's like, so you guys seem to be avoiding talking about Todd. Oh, yeah, we do.
We do, you know, because

Speaker 1 I don't like to involve my kids, you know. I just like to move them in with people

Speaker 1 and then take them away so they can move out in front of Frankie. In front of Frankie.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I don't like to involve people with Todd. You know, that stuff I keep very, very private.

Speaker 1 You guys, you guys, I can't believe this.

Speaker 1 While we're playing pool,

Speaker 2 by the way, it's not that they aren't talking about Todd, it's just that Peter still is in the first three words of a sentence and he hasn't gotten to the rest of the sentence yet where he talks about Todd.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 mom,

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 just

Speaker 2 want like, okay, all right, I'll take it from here. Okay, so Peter, what's going on? Like, you, how you, how you doing? You want to go hug Frankie? So, they hug.
It's really cute.

Speaker 2 I mean, when they, Frankie and Peter are very cute together, and they hug and Alexia is like, Frankie has been vomiting profusely and ended up in the emergency room and they're diagnosed him with diverticulitis, or as I call it, looking at Adriana disease.

Speaker 1 Or as I told the doctor, this is what I call the disease to the doctor. How could you do this to Frankie? How?

Speaker 1 Get him a better disease. I don't even know what this is.
Get him a better disease.

Speaker 1 So this sucks. I mean, poor Frankie, like he doesn't go through enough that now he has to deal with diverticulitis, which is no joke, by the way.

Speaker 1 My friend just had a really bad case of, I don't even know, it was diverticulitis, but it was called like pronounced diverticulitis. I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was something like heightened and it sucked. She had to get like a colostomy bag and she had to be in, I mean, she was out of commission for like six months.

Speaker 1 Is it curable or is it just a matter of time? Yeah, she's better now. Yeah, she's better now.
She healed up. Thank God.
Oh, good. One of the lesbies and the tennis shoes.

Speaker 1 I mean, they just keep coming up today.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 listen,

Speaker 2 if you're stuck with a colonoscopy bag, I think you're allowed to have some sneakers on for crying out loud. Oh, for sure.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 No one will question her sneakers because she's like a true, like, no one's going to fuck with her.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's going to wear her name tennis shoes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
So Alexia says that he has to have a better diet and everything, which is, you know, like, he does look a little thinner, actually.

Speaker 2 so it looks like he's he's been eating healthier and um i don't know why i felt like commenting on that like just

Speaker 1 your report card is in ben mandaliker approves

Speaker 1 so um uh like where do i get diverticulitis because you look great

Speaker 1 you look amazing

Speaker 1 is this over the counter

Speaker 1 Can we make out for a bit? How long should this last? Let me just.

Speaker 1 So they talk about,

Speaker 1 Peter starts crying, you know, because they're talking about how hard all this stuff is on Frankie. And then they're talking about, you know, I don't know this family.
You know how this family is.

Speaker 1 They keep, they talk about kind of the same traumas every year and then cry about it as a family, which I guess is fair. So she's like, you know, but the truth is, Peter, you've really had it hard.

Speaker 1 I can't. I can't with the, oh my God, how hard Peter has it.
Peter doesn't do anything. Let's stop this.
Can we stop?

Speaker 1 I know, really.

Speaker 1 You're

Speaker 2 son. You love it so hard.

Speaker 1 Videotaped a homeless person as he was like trying to make him do bum fights or whatever the fuck he was doing and abusing him.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I can't with, and I get that he was a kid and this and that, but please stop with the every single year of trying to make Peter look like he's some little saint. Cut his hair.

Speaker 1 The least you could do is cut his hair, Alexia.

Speaker 2 He,

Speaker 2 yeah, he is, uh, you can't say that he's, I guess he has added hard with that hair. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 Do you know how hard it is having such dry hair his hair hurts

Speaker 2 oh well he tried to buy some vo5 but he asked for v06 and don't even make that and he gave up it was so hard for him so

Speaker 2 you know it's so hard you know because your brother gets into the accident then you go to paris oh god could you imagine what a hard life that is going to paris then you come back and hernan dies oh and it's just like it's a lot and like we're good but i don't want you to worry and she says you know she does i mean i'm not going to take away that like obviously frankie was i mean when peter was very affected by frankie's accident etc but like you said they alexia brings this up to us every single year as if we never heard it before and we're like okay like i mean well it's just alexia's like boy mom you know peter does all this bad shit every year and then alexia's like oh my god you guys peter has it so hard like nobody has it harder than peter um

Speaker 1 raise your child to be better because your child sucks okay like i don't want to hear it and stop coming on here like you're trying to make peter mayor every year i don't want to hear it peter sucks keep him away

Speaker 2 well the big wrinkle this time around for the usual like, oh, Peter's had it so hard storyline is that now he is going to be Frankie's guardian. So like, meaning like, you know,

Speaker 2 if Alexia is to pre-decease her son, then Frankie will take over, which is a big deal. Peter will take over.
Actually, I would not be surprised if Frankie

Speaker 2 was a guardian for Peter. Frankie, I think Frankie will be a more suitable guardian for Peter than the other way around.

Speaker 1 I do too. That's kind of a terrifying thought.

Speaker 1 So then Gertie, let's see, what are we doing? So Gertie goes to have lunch with Dr. Nicole.

Speaker 2 Dr. Nicole's back.
It's like,

Speaker 2 we get this whole long shot of Nicole from behind. Her hair is blonde and long and flowing.

Speaker 1 It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Speaker 2 And she shows up looking great and radiant because she's a radiologist.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, she's actually an anesthesiologist.

Speaker 1 She's an anesthesiologist.

Speaker 2 Well, guess what? She's a radiologist today because she is radiating and uh she's a radiatingologist she sells radiators because guess what

Speaker 2 she's radiating

Speaker 1 she sold about 96 000 of them because that she's wearing an ermee matte alligator birkin for 96 600

Speaker 1 and she's got matching baby blues Jimmy shoes or whatever. And they're like, wow, Nicole is worth $27 trillion, everybody.
And we, ooh,

Speaker 1 why does Nicole get away with doing this shit when it's so annoying from Stephanie? Although, this always did kind of annoy me about Nicole. But

Speaker 1 remember, Nicole's whole, like, oh, yeah, look, here we are buying like a, you know,

Speaker 1 $70 trillion

Speaker 1 ship or whatever. Anthony liked to brag about their money too, but I don't know how she did it and what didn't annoy people as much as Stephanie.
She's got the personality to pull it off, right?

Speaker 2 Because Stephanie watches like a house get like torn open and like rooted around.

Speaker 2 But Nicole has to watch human bodies go through that. And I think she deserves, you know, like, I think she deserves a $96,000

Speaker 2 bag because she's help, first of all, she's helping people's lives actively. Unlike really 99.9% of anyone else on Bravo, she's actively trying to save people's lives.

Speaker 2 And she's also, she's also pretty cool. And

Speaker 2 Stephanie is obnoxious. obnoxious and Nicole is fine.
Nicole seems to be overall pretty good given, you know, a base level of obnoxiousness that everyone on Bravo has, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think because she shows it off, but she doesn't like openly brag like

Speaker 1 Stephanie, but I don't know. So

Speaker 1 she comes in and the girls are like, oh my God, it's you. It's you.

Speaker 1 It's like, baby G, the last time I saw her was in the, you know, she was stood in her preemie because they're talking about the little baby. And we see a picture of the little cute baby.
And and um

Speaker 1 nicole's like yeah she was like four pounds like pure bones but now she's like 90 90th percentile weight like she's a little pudgy sickle doesn't she look like my dad is that supposed to be a compliment don't put that on that baby and then they show a picture of her next to fucking uh not columbo who was the other one uh asner yeah

Speaker 2 yeah um we see a picture of her her dearly departed father i personally did not see the resemblance, but also to be fair, her dad looked like literally every baby I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 Like he just was like a big, I'm not saying he was a man baby. I'm just like, if you imagined a baby who is 75 years old, that's what her dad looked like.

Speaker 1 And just really hairy, carrying a cigar.

Speaker 1 RIP everybody.

Speaker 2 R.I.P. that guy.
So what a character that guy was. He really was.
He was.

Speaker 2 And so Nicole is saying how it was like a nightmare because like the pregnancy because, or I should say the birth, because like there was the NICU and then she was in the hospital, she had to go in and out, and she had to miss all these things, but she was also ignoring Grayson, so she had to spend time with Grayson.

Speaker 2 And Gurdy's like, it was a shit show. Okay, can we talk about my thing now? Okay, great.

Speaker 2 So, um, uh, Gurdy's like, well, I know that she's what that you're still going through postpartum and it's a motional roller coaster, so I just want to support her and let her take it easy.

Speaker 2 And it's all about her right now, about her getting back to who she is, because I'm trying to get her to get her groove back. That's what I'm trying to do.

Speaker 2 So, uh, naturally, they now start talking about Stephanie.

Speaker 1 Now, this is a big surprise for the episode because the rumors before the episode, before the season started where Nicole was going to come back to the show, but then she left the show because they brought on

Speaker 1 her ex's

Speaker 1 new wife or whatever, which is Stephanie. And that she was like, that's low or whatever.
Fuck this. But it turns out she really likes Stephanie and she's nice to her.
So who knew?

Speaker 1 Who saw that one coming? It's like the twist.

Speaker 1 She's like, i'm really excited to meet stephanie she's like oh the fact that she did it anthony 20 years ago i mean isn't that crazy and she goes oh my god like the world is this big it's this big she goes yeah okay let's talk about her she goes listen like there's got to be similarities like he likes us both let me tell you anthony's picky as

Speaker 1 okay he likes short people who like really expensive purses and planes yeah

Speaker 2 Pretty much. So they call Stephanie and Gurdi's like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
I wanted to do a a quick high and bye intro to this girl here. You may know her because she is now with your ex.

Speaker 2 And Stephanie's like, oh my God, you know, I was blonde too at one point. And then I was like, this is so damaging.
Like, I am not going to be blonde. Like, only an idiot would be blonde.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God, Nicole, nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 Girls, like, yeah, I was going to go red too, but like, it's so much work to keep it red. And also, like, go places where people don't treat you like a little orphan in a musical.

Speaker 1 So, but it works for you.

Speaker 2 She's like, oh, my God.

Speaker 2 god if if i know i will die if you go red because there will then we'll be just like twins she's like okay well in that case i'm definitely never going to be red the rest of my life okay i'll stay blonde okay bye is stephanie a redhead why does stephanie look like a brunette to me are my eyes that bad is my eye that swollen she looks like a brunette to me there's someone pounding on our door No, tell him to fuck off.

Speaker 1 Peter, good a job. Pounding.
Get a job, Peter.

Speaker 2 I know it is, Peter, be like, am lost. Um, I think Stephanie is a brunette, but like, I can see that maybe in certain light, you can see like the redness of it all, you know.

Speaker 2 Okay, like they're maybe like low-level red, like maroon.

Speaker 1 Uh, Stephanie's like, um, Nicole's fabulous. Like, clearly, we have to have similar traits because I dated Anthony 20 years ago, and you could tell he was going to go far in life.

Speaker 1 I mean, no one's comparing private jets around here. I'm just saying mine is big or

Speaker 1 bigger. Walla Berkins, Walla Berkins.
Can we finish my can we finish my tour now? Come on,

Speaker 1 follow me.

Speaker 2 So they hang up and Nicole's like, you know, it's funny because when I saw her hang out with the group, my initial thought was like, I don't think she's going to get along with Alexia because, you know, there's that alpha competition.

Speaker 2 And like, if you don't bend the knee, like, she doesn't do well. And Stephanie doesn't strike me as a knee bender, mainly because she only comes up to someone's kneecap.

Speaker 2 So if you bend, she really can't, there's not really a knee there to bend.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. And at the party that you were supposed to go to, I put that text message up.
I put it up. I put it up.
There was a screen. I put it up.
It was there.

Speaker 1 It was there. I redacted the names, though.
I redacted them. So then we see a clip of that.
And then Gertie is like, yep. And Juliet got embarrassed.
And so they walked up.

Speaker 1 And Stephanie wanted to go back in and hear what I had to say. What happened? And they were like, oh, no, you're such a kiss ass.
Can you believe it? That's what they said.

Speaker 1 Even though it was redacted, it was redacted.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 yeah, we see like flashbacks and everything,

Speaker 2 and we see like you know, Alexia confronting Stephanie, etc., and like, you know, being like, Do you want to go in there and kiss Curtis's ass? Then you do that, et cetera.

Speaker 2 So, Nicole's like, Well, these are like, well, these are like bling, these are like bling alliances, right?

Speaker 2 Like, I don't understand that because if I'm someone's friend, I will hear your story and be like, You know what, Gertie, that was wrong, and you know what, like, maybe you shouldn't have said that.

Speaker 2 And like, I told you, like, after that comment about the facelift, remember, I told you the facelift comment was too far, Gertie.

Speaker 1 And then we see the flashback to after getting water thrown on her. She tells Julia, you got a facelift while Martina was in New York getting chemo.
That's you, facelift get her.

Speaker 1 I didn't think that was so bad. Julia started it.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Julia started it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she's like, I told you that was tough, girl. Like, I don't know if I would have gone there, but that's what friends do.
You know, we're honest with each other. And she's like,

Speaker 1 well, you know what? Blinders. You know what? You put on the blinders when you want to.
And she says she's not proud of how she acted. But would I have done this as first choice? No.
No.

Speaker 1 I would not have. But the fact is I tried every other way with everyone.
And the only way left was to put text messages on a screen.

Speaker 2 That was literally the only way left.

Speaker 1 It was the only way left for her. When in doubt, rent a projector.
That's it.

Speaker 2 There was nothing else to do.

Speaker 1 That's all I could do.

Speaker 2 Nicole's like, well, I just don't understand what what happened. I mean, we were all really good friends.
Remember the day after your surgery, we picked up smoothies and Julie and I went to visit you.

Speaker 2 We sat in your bed and we see that, you know, from last year. And she's like, I just feel like there's been a big shift in Julia because I never even seen Julia hanging out with Adriana anymore.

Speaker 1 Whoa, well, we saw those two over the summer and you were like, what's going on there?

Speaker 1 You know, because like she's been really into Mary Sol and Alexia and that's fine, but that's, you know, that's to the detriment of ruining.

Speaker 1 And she's like, well, it's giving thirsty right she goes yeah you know middle school like the new girl who comes in and then she doesn't have any friends so she hangs out with whoever's there but then like she figures out who the popular girls are and then she ditches those people and

Speaker 1 i just think it's so funny that marisol that marisol and alexia are considered the popular people like they're literally outnumbered it's just because alexia keeps on

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's because Alexia just keeps on declaring herself as the popular girl. She literally said, I'm the star.
She said, I was born a star. I am the star.

Speaker 2 And then Marisol is just like a tagalong because they keep the dangling carrot for Marisol of a friend of. So she's still waiting for her true glory to return.

Speaker 2 So until she can be a full-fledged cast member, she is,

Speaker 2 and she just has to hang on to Alexia. So yeah, I think that's how this all, this whole cult of personality happened.

Speaker 1 So what would it take you to come back to our group? And she's like, TBD. Bitch, bitch.
I can't believe you just did that. Okay.
You know what? I didn't like that answer.

Speaker 1 So I've had had all of our texts printed on these menus. Everybody's reading them right now.

Speaker 1 Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

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Speaker 4 Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 4 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water. And it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 4 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 4 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 4 And this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 4 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.