#2952 The Valley S2E16 Part Two: Lost Sporkle

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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens.

This is part two of a two-part recap.

If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one.

Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Go back and listen to part one, okay?

It's before this one.

Bye.

Enjoy the show.

So

Janet's like, you know, nobody's putting a gun to her head to date you.

And like, Jason's advice was don't date somebody who agreed to share their life on camera if she feels very private about it.

So Jesse's like, oh, well, Sheena was very vocal about that.

Sheena called my girlfriend and said, no one will like you as long as you're with Jesse.

Listen, I mean, I don't think Sheena's wrong.

I know, but Sheena's also with Brock.

So I don't know.

I don't know that Sheena has many legs to stand on in this one.

True, but Brock has an Australian accent and Jesse has a hair dent.

So I don't know.

I'm still going to say Jesse's worse.

Sheena, who tried to get Ariana to make up with Tom so she could still have a show to shoot on.

It's like,

don't be nice to the bad guy.

So Andy's like, so Jesse, do you think Michelle is anxious to finalize her divorce so she can get married to Aaron and start a new family?

And he's like, if that's the next step, that's fine.

I can't wait until I stop her new babies from seeing her dying mother.

All right, Jax, hearing all this, were you listening, Jax?

He's like, no.

Okay, well, do you think it's going to be hard for you when Britt starts dating a man that she introduces him to Cruz?

He's like,

yes.

Do you think it's going to be hard for you when she just dates a man without introducing him to Cruz?

Yes.

Do you think it's going to be hard for you when Britt just sees a man?

Yes.

Do you think it's going to be rough on you when Brittany starts eating chicken wings alone in her bed?

Sorry, it's already happened.

Okay, Brittany.

And she's like, well, he starts with five of me every day about who I talk to and who I'm around every day.

Every day, Andy.

Okay, every day.

And he's like, Well, why do you have any jurisdiction about who she's talking to?

He's like, I know, I know.

Okay.

It's just my mentality.

Like, I'm trying to work on it, Andy.

I am.

I am.

It's me and Jax.

You know, I'm trying.

I can become a new me, Andy.

I'm becoming a new me.

I'm like a little flower.

Buddy God.

It's just new Jacks.

New Jacks, Andy.

Kristen goes, just keep it to yourself.

Just don't say it to her.

Okay.

I get triggered, though.

Yeah, I get triggered.

I'm triggered.

Do you have a therapist?

Yeah.

Do you go to the therapist?

Do you listen to therapist?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I do.

Like every Monday, I go, you know, I've been to four therapists, Andy.

None of them have worked out.

You know, not one of them has told me what I wanted to hear.

So, you know, I finally found one I've been to twice.

So, you know, that's pretty good.

You know, you know, me back in Vanderpup, I had two or three.

You know, there was the Reiki chick trying to fuck her.

There was the other chick.

I don't remember what she was doing, trying to fuck her too, though.

But, you know, then I went to that meeting with Laura Lee or whatever the fuck her name was, you know, dumped her outside of the aa meeting so that was like therapy right yeah i've been trying andy i've been trying

all right well uh have his uh bra have his monday therapy sessions approved anything for you she's like no it's like and

he's like okay well jesse i want to talk about your budding romance with kristen and luke you reached out to kristen with an apology at the beginning of the summer why would you do that aside from the you know you know because the producers told you to do it he's like well listen kristen sent me the most gracious text message.

I was like, wow, that's very, very, very big of her to take that first step.

It basically said, do you mind bringing napkins to our park wedding?

And I thought it was nice for someone to see some utility in me.

And I started to just think about what my role played and what happened last year,

which is, of course, all Michelle Lolly's fault.

I love Kristen and Jesse are just both so full of shit.

You're friends because you both hate Michelle and Michelle hates both of you.

And you have now teamed up so that you have allies.

Like, why are we acting like, wow, they became friends because they were really kind to each other in a text, but whatever.

So she says that she was wary of him inviting her over, but she went anyway.

And, you know, I don't think he really understood, Andy, that when he does things like slams his hands on the table, like,

or yells at a woman or threatens her, that that could be triggering to women, you know, because sometimes women go through those things.

So he just had to understand that little part and then we were good.

Oh, i love it

he's like i know that threatening women was triggering yeah

so i like that um it's like oh just a slamming on the table it had nothing to do with the words that came out of his mouth or his personality it was just merely that uh he made some loud noise and that was triggering okay great yeah

So there was no, I'm sorry, but it was easy to give her, give him a chance once he realized he was a triggering person.

So next question is to Michelle.

You know, you told Jesse he loves to cry.

So people think you're cold and insensitive, which we've gone over.

It's true.

And she's like, yeah, I'm guarded.

It's hard for me to cry, but he can cry, you know, at the snap of the fingers.

And people love to see a man crying and being vulnerable.

And then they show a montage, which is great, of him just fake crying throughout all the years.

And the best one was when he was crying.

Michelle's like, oh, give me a break.

And he's like,

and he turned evil and tears, right?

yeah

so kirsten's like i think the conversation like the conversation that last one the montage that was one of the most raw and vulnerable conversations from both of you but then it turns out after that nice conversation at the end of the season it went sour right afterwards which is like not a surprise so jesse explains it he's like you know he is a crier he's like i've seen rudy 40 times and i cry every single time they carry him off the field

i don't know if that's that.

You're still a faker.

You're still a fake crier.

You can cry at a movie and still be a fake crier.

I hate to break it to you.

Just Jesse making another hilarious pop culture reference to

get his charm out there instead of just fessing up to being a fucking faker manipulator.

He's like,

Rudy suits.

Janet's like, well, I like David Busters.

So, yeah, Janet calls him out for that like fake cry when they dried up really quickly.

And he's like, which

conversation was that?

Michelle's like, the scheduling gambers.

And Janet's like, yeah, those tears were really gone.

And then it just cuts to Zach going, um, we could say the same thing about you.

Zach getting a nice little lick in there.

So Jesse was like, those tears were like the first holidays since, you know, since we separated that we wouldn't be together.

Those were holiday fake tears.

So Jason's like, well, I think like at the time we were filming, I mean, you guys were only separated like less than a year.

So I think you guys were saying like, unless Jesse is a complete sociopath,

he would have tears.

Like it's an emotional situation for everybody.

No, we are saying he's a sociopath, Jason.

That is exactly correct.

We are calling him a sociopath.

Yeah.

And there's no two ways about it.

It's all in the eyes, Jason.

But glad you're here to stand up for another abuser piece of shit mail.

Okay, Jesse.

Jason's like.

I mean, unless you're calling him a cold, manipulative asshole, I mean, I think he, of course, would be emotional.

Like, yeah, we're calling him a cold.

That's exactly what we're calling him.

That's what you're saying, Jason.

You'd be really great at Balderdash.

So, Andy,

is Balder Dash for the one where you explain things and people have to figure out what they are?

Sort of.

Yeah.

Definitions.

Yeah.

Mailed a Balderdash joke.

Okay.

So Andy's like, okay, we're back.

Nia, I heard about your new house in Santa Clarita, sucker.

What made you fold so quickly?

And she's like, it's really big.

I have five bedrooms.

I mean, sometimes I drive back to Santa Clarita and I look around.

And, you know, I do what most citizens do in Santa Clarita.

I go, ew,

we're in Santa Clarita.

But, you know, this is really big.

She really is like, oh my God, what is this choice I made?

Just remember, you have an extra room now.

Someone's not going to be president of like the Chamber of Commerce in Santa Clarita.

Chicago, this place sucks.

Jasmine, just realized you're here.

Did you sell them the house?

Jasmine's like, no, I don't work in that territory.

I'm just kidding i'm just kidding just in case i got transferred there but no i would never sell a house in santa clarita all right well as multiple marriages were coming apart at the seams a thread known as boys chat was going strong fueled by drama scandal rumors and apparently lots of vagina pics jax for all of us who are not lucky enough to be on boys chat pull the curtain back for us no i that's not the same as show us your dick although you can if you want okay pull the curtain back for us and what kind of things are you guys talking

Well, it started at Schwartz's wedding.

You know, it just kind of started as like all the guys talking, and you know, because like we were all living in little houses on the property, so we started sending texts and stuff.

Oh, yeah, they were sending pictures like vaginas to each other, slipper vaginas.

I don't know what that means, but vagina pictures, you know.

And degrading women 24-7, okay?

And Andy's like, okay, who on this stage is still in the boys' chat?

And is it just Jax and Jesse?

And is it true that Kenny from Love Island season six is in the boys chat?

That's a whole different choice.

Gross.

God, that turned out to be horrible.

I never saw.

I would like to think of myself as a pretty good judge of character.

I never saw that coming from Kenny.

Did you?

I did not.

I always thought

like there was.

It was an odd duo, the two of them.

You know, he's always showing up in khakis.

And I thought, like, really?

I just didn't think that like a guy in khakis all the time was going to be like up for like flashy social media.

I wouldn't even think he would be on Love Island.

And then it turns out there's a reason why.

I don't know.

You can wear khakis and not be like a racist and all the things that and Cloud Chaser, like Kenny is.

I'm just saying that like.

Yeah, well, for those of you who don't know, this is a couple, like one of the favorites from last two seasons ago of Love Island that are now on this Love Island, you know, Beyond the Villa show.

And apparently she went through his phone and found all these texts where he's like i don't even like black women and it was calling her all these names and yeah like horrible stuff allegedly

yeah yeah i mean i just i just see what i see on the internet yeah yeah i'm just saying but yeah it's

likes yeah yeah so he just turned out to be a real piece of garbage yeah he turned out he was texting his friends

so nice he talks like this

and then he cried you know usually i believe the criers not just proud of you

yeah

yep well yeah i failed on that one for sure so uh anyway

uh danny uh zach used to be on it but he he left he's like i literally got out because of what they were saying and also because of vaginas and also because of vaginas they were terrifying it was a terrifying chat

yeah um janice like one vagina and zach is out

sandy's like okay so it's really just jesse like it's only jesse and you were in the boys chat right now.

And Danny was like, well, I used to look at it.

I used to look at it when I was with Jax.

Jax would show me everything.

Jax would show me everything, which is hilarious because Danny got kicked out for showing people.

And Jax was doing it the whole time.

He'd show me Jesse's messages.

And he would talk about how horrible Jesse was and all this.

Like, he did not like Jesse, I don't think.

And like, not at all.

Like, not even a little bit.

Called him short and, you know, all sorts of dead eyes, you know, sort of shriveled up little tiny pee-pee.

You know, he's showing all these naked girls and everything.

Just a lot of dirty, dirty, nasty things in there.

And Jax is like, locker room talk, locker room talk.

Works for Trump.

Works for Trump.

Yeah.

So, locker room talk.

Look, look, boys will be boys.

We can say all these things because just locker room talk.

It's because we're not saying it publicly and we're not saying it to their faces.

We're just saying it privately and perpetuating our ideas.

Yeah, boys chats are disgusting.

I mean, I have a boys chat with my gay friends and it's disgusting.

You know, we don't demean women in it.

We demean other men.

But, you know, I can only imagine what straight guy's chat is like.

Yeah.

it's like,

well, I just, I don't know, like, I'm sort of like, I have a weird feeling like when Brittany was like, yeah, I used to watch, Jack used to show me.

I would see all these things, da-da-da-da-da-da.

And like, I, on the one hand, I understand, you know, you're going to protect your husband because it's your husband.

But there's also an element of like.

I don't know.

I kind of feel like as soon as this marriage was falling apart, she should have been like, okay, I'm not going to protect him anymore.

And this is what he's been saying.

It is what all these guys have been saying.

I don't know.

There was, there was something like, there was this, I got the sense that Brittany was still protecting the guys.

And because she was seeing all this stuff and she said nothing, we didn't have any indication until right now.

And she's like, oh, yeah, I saw this.

And I saw that.

And I saw that.

I was like,

you're really going to keep protecting these guys?

I mean, I'm sure there's more to the story than that, but I had a weird reaction to it.

I mean, I think that when you have a husband who's in a boys chat, you're just like, it's voice chat.

I mean,

what are you going to do?

They're disgusting.

I think a lot of of people are just like, well, they're boys.

That's just what boys do.

They have a boys chat.

Yeah.

I guess when we watch these shows, we expect more purity.

You're like, well, why didn't she

stance?

No, I don't expect more purity from Britney.

My God.

So,

all right, Danny, you broke the number one rule of boys chat, which is don't speak about the boys chat to the wrong person, I should add.

Why did you tell Luke that Jesse and Michelle, but Jesse said Michelle is sleeping with the billionaire for $1,500 a night.

Danny's like, yeah, hand to God, one hand to God.

Oh, by the way, God, I am so sorry.

I did not remember that I put my hand on you like that.

I am so sorry.

It will not happen again.

Okay.

Hand near God, I should say.

I obviously had my mic on and we were talking and like, and I just having a conversation about Jesse and Michelle.

And I was, it was just, it was just, I thought we were wrapped for the day.

I didn't know.

I didn't know I was still being filmed.

Yeah, it's like, I didn't know there was a camera right behind me.

That's literally why I'm whispering.

No, that's not how it happened.

Sorry, but the camera was not behind you.

Didn't we see him full on?

There were cameras surrounding you, sir.

It was not like some hidden camera footage, liar.

So you did that on purpose because

you brought it up to Luke on camera.

And then, yeah, no.

You did not think you were wrapped.

So Danny's like

lying.

And Janet just mumbles.

She's like, we all know how cameras work.

He's an actor.

Well, he's a voice actor.

Well, he is also an actor.

I guess, does he actually play the zombies or do the voiceover for a zombies actor?

He was on the OC.

He had a role on the OC once.

So he knows how cameras work.

He's also shot a reality show for an entire season.

Yeah.

I just thought that was nice of Janet to say because I never thought she would give him credit.

Like he's an actor.

Oh, yeah.

Elevators career that way.

Yes.

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And he's like, Jesse, did you really believe it?

And he goes, oh, the second I said it, the second I sent it, I regretted it.

Even though I've said it 20 more times during the season and probably said it multiple times in that chat.

You did not regret it whatsoever.

You regretted it as much as Danny didn't realize there was a camera on him.

So, Michelle, you told the girls that Jesse spent all your money and is broke tell us more and jesse's like well i mean i seem to be living fine right now she's like oh yeah who is paying your rent who's paying daddy's bills ah

And uh, he goes, Well, I am.

And, you know, I've been paying my rent and I have been since you moved out.

And she goes, and who is lending you money to pay your rent?

And he just like looks defeated.

He's like, he just rolls his eyes like, great.

Thanks a lot for bringing up the gay guy again.

Yeah.

Well, you talked to the Zen party that you were overwhelmed financially.

It's okay to admit it.

He's like, well, it's double the expenses with half the income.

And we sat down in the living room and talked about her moving out.

And we had actually talked about the two of us finding a new place together.

By the way, why is it double the expenses?

It should be the same amount of expenses with half the income.

So she's like, whatever happened was you said, I had to leave the house and you were never going to leave because it was your house.

And even though we both pay rent in the house and you said i am not leaving over my dead body and you sleep downstairs and it was unbearable so i finally found a place i bought new furniture i paid two rents and that is what happened

so she's paying two rents i guess because she's still on the lease that sucks probably and that's such that's such the man that man thing to do on this show too because that's just what jax did

that's exactly what jax did so shitty um and also why don't you just break the lease and move

i mean get the out of there and it's been over a year anyway right maybe there's a two-year lease i don't know but they've been living there since the beginning of the show i don't know this is this is all like just struggling it's also it's struggling to keep you the lifestyle that you can no longer afford but also it's um

What was I going to say about stupid Jesse in this apartment?

Never mind.

There's too much rage going on in this show.

It's making me tired.

I'm like, oh, God,

is there anything fun in this show?

Oh, it's also him trying to manipulate her into just staying, right?

He's like, well, you can stay downstairs or you're stuck paying your rent anyway.

So let's see what you do, thinking that she's going to be too poor to go get a place and pay rent there, but she did anyway.

So good for her.

Yeah.

So Andy asks,

Andy's like, so Michelle said that you got douchier over the course of your marriage.

The more money you got, the more douchier you got.

Did the money make you douchey?

Barbara Walt goes.

Yeah, well, I think i was pretty douchey when i was uh when i was at the caddy at the golf course making 150 a loop so listen i could be uh douchey at any income level andy that's the thing about me

janet goes he used to have a tongue ring so i think he's always been a bit of a douche but he goes i had a tongue ring too don't just don't dive in let let jesse be the tongue ring douche brittany don't you don't have to dive in i started laughing fucking brittany of course we did So Andy's like, okay, we're back.

You know, we started the season with the shock of Jax checking him to himself into a mental health facility, treatment, whatever.

So I want to start at the beginning.

What led up to that?

Are you going to blame Lisa Vanderpump?

Because it seems to be a very popular thing to do right now.

Brittany, just days before filming started, you and Jax were separated, but talking about getting back together.

And then you had a fight and then text messages and blah, blah, blah.

And Julian and blah, blah blah.

Julian Julian.

Let's talk about Julian.

So Jax is like, Julian and I were friends.

We were, we were hanging out all the time.

It was basically my best friend.

He was like my brother.

Like, I love Julian.

Like, Julie, Julie, Julie.

You see Julian everywhere.

It's like always on my arm.

I'm like, he's my best, best friend.

Like, he's my best friend.

All right.

Well, so how long after your separation did you start seeing Julian?

Probably like a month, something like that.

He's like, quicker than that.

No, one, one, quicker on that.

All right.

Well, Jax.

No, no, I didn't say Julian that quick.

So, Andy's like, Jax, where were the rules that you and Brittany established about dating inside your friends inside your friend group?

Honestly,

we didn't like have a rule on the friend thing.

It's just like you automatically assume, you know, like I think it was like a little suitor that above.

I mean, I don't know.

I don't know.

Like, it was just, it was hurtful.

It was hurtful, Andy.

It was hurtful.

And it went against what I said, too.

You know, I had someone at the house, too.

She goes, multiple people, multiple people.

You had one person with the boobs to 10 people.

Show her picture.

Show her picture.

Just the boobs fill the screen.

Giant boobs.

Okay, I'm not trying to start a war here.

How to just, you know, just, that's what it was hurtful to me.

And this is just what made me spiral.

That's, that's all.

It's like, hey, why a creep, extremely aggressive.

So now she talks about how he threw the coffee table.

It landed on her knee.

Her knee turned black.

He threw both bar stools.

He threw her Stanley cup and broke it.

He threw her phone and broke it.

He threw her laptop and broke it.

And then she says he threw me into the rose bushes.

I didn't know about the rose bushes part.

I mean, now we've been keep on saying, you know, we've been saying, obviously, it's always felt, it always has been domestic, domestic abuse, but we didn't actually know he had literally put his hands on her and done something.

But now she's saying he's thrown her into a rosebush and he doesn't even really deny it.

Yeah,

he says, I did not throw you into the rose bushes.

And she goes, yeah, you did.

You know, my close friends have seen videos from the ring came, from the ring came.

And also,

we nearly threw a coffee table at her and made her knee turn black.

So it's always been that.

There's never been a question on this.

No, I know, but like, it's never been, you know, it's never been a question about that.

I'm just saying now it's like another element in it is that he's actually physically touched her.

Jesus.

And thrown her.

And everyone has seen it.

Everyone's like nodding.

And

I don't know why I said he doesn't even deny it when he literally says, I never did that right next.

But everyone's like nodding.

Like we've all seen seen it.

And like, it's also the balls on him that he's going to deny it when he knows it's true.

Everyone knows it's true.

And everyone has been protecting him because everyone, anyone could have said this at any time on the show or in the press and they haven't probably out of courtesy to him, which I don't know why they had that.

And yet, despite, despite that courtesy, he still wants to deny it.

No.

Yeah.

So Brittany's like,

you know,

everyone's seen the videos, Jacks.

And so the question is, how long did she date Julian?

And she's like, well, I didn't date him.

We were just hooking up.

And another thing, you know, like, whatever, maybe it was weird that I hooked up with someone that was around my friend group, but my confidence was at an all-time low.

I mean, this man degraded me.

He put me down.

He body shaded me constantly.

He hit the ranch dressing.

Okay.

And Julian gave me attention.

And I needed that.

Jack stole my sparkle.

You stole my fucking sparkle.

I literally lost my sparkle.

And Jack's just rolls his eyes.

It's like a lie with the sparkle.

sparkle everyone that's just what I want to say

that's how I talk about myself sporkle I mean I had your son and you body shaved me for stretch marks okay you body shaved me's like I never

did I never did I'm sorry I was still laughing at sparkle not stretch marks but I just look pretty gone I lost my sparkle

He literally called me a tree trunk because I stretched marks.

I didn't

say

that shit.

The one that you love.

The one that you're supposed to They're all saying, yes, you did.

We've seen it in the text messages.

You fucking loser.

You not only did it verbally, you did it in text.

When she, like, it's evident, sir.

And she's like, yeah, you called me a tree trunk.

And he's like, no, I didn't.

And Janet's like, just apologize.

She's like, okay, well, you know, I'm very sorry about this.

Like, I'm sorry about all of it.

Just everything.

Just everything, to be honest.

You know, it's like the last thing I wanted.

You know, everybody's seeing this.

Like, everybody's seeing it.

I can't control it, you guys.

I have anger.

I can't control it.

Well, more importantly, Brittany on Watch What Happens Live says you're bad at sex.

Let's look at this.

This is more important.

So we see that Britney gives him like a low, low, low ranks, says sometimes it was like a seven or an eight, but usually it was a two or three.

So

Jack's like, oh, come on.

You know, when you're in a toxic relationship for so long, you know, you just don't have the interest anymore.

I'm like, you brought the toxicity, wasn't it?

Well, of course, she had some of it, but like, you were pretty much the toxic, uh, toxic waste in this situation.

Yeah, well, you didn't touch me for years.

He did not make me feel good about myself.

He put me down.

He barely had sex with me for the past three years.

I mean, why would I be like, yeah, he's great man?

Yeah, he's great.

I just love having sex with no sport bowl.

And Jackson is like, yeah, you know, I pushed her away.

I did everything in my power to get me to leave me.

She just wouldn't, you know?

Like, I caused so much pay to so much drama.

All the alcohol, the drugs, I was just the icy god, the cake.

And, you know, I think you'll agree with me.

You know, when I started to get bad, it was when I lost my job at vatupub because not only that happened covet happened and then my wife's pregnant and i freaking out financially like what am i gonna do how i gotta handle this you know and uh and the britney and she goes yeah he started turning on me because i was the one making money instead of him and instead of being happy for me he held it over my head and he held it against me Well, shouldn't you have been happy that she was bringing in the money?

He's like, yeah, but like as a man, you just want to be able to support your family so that you can hold it over their heads when you cheat on them, you know?

And Brittany's like, Well, well, we weren't in competition, we were a team, okay?

And I loved him so much, and I was trying to make our marriage for years, and I was trying to make it work.

And then I brushed it off, and I forgave him every single time.

Now he apologized, and I promised that he promised that you change, he promised he'd get better, he promised he'd bring my sparkle back.

And I really believed him because I loved him so much.

Like, you can never deny that I tried everything I possibly could to make this relationship work, and you treat me worse than anyone ever else.

Anyone would.

So, didn't she say somewhere in here, like, he got jealous of her making the money, and he tried to call a lawyer on her?

Like to get some of the money, like I could have sworn she said something like that.

I don't have it in my notes, but he, they asked, Andy asked about an agreement about co-parenting and she has full custody.

And when the divorce is final, she'll give him every Wednesday and every other weekend.

And then like, if I need to get my nails done or something like that, you know, like he just has to pass a drug test.

And Jackson's like, yeah, I agree.

I agree.

So has Cruz been to the condo?

And yes, he gets to see Cruz now.

And it took some time, which I totally understand.

Totally understand, you know, like, like, I don't want to uproot our son.

Like, Brittany knows that.

I don't want to uproot our son.

And they all start laughing because she's like, yeah, because I had to be the one to take our autistic son and move into an Airbnb because you wouldn't move out of the house knowing that he needs stability.

I mean, this guy, this is just like.

We know all this, but it's just so painful to watch him sit up there and try and be the victim over and over.

And everyone knows I just want stability from my baby.

You kicked them out of the house.

Yeah.

And she's like, yeah, you made, you, you know, like, you, you, you didn't pay the, you kicked us out and then you didn't pay the mortgage for seven months.

He goes, yeah, well, not on the mortgage.

I didn't pay my car note.

I didn't pay anything.

He says it as if it's like, oh, so this, it makes sense in the context of these things, too.

It's like, no, that's even worse.

You're totally irresponsible.

You're an irresponsible person.

And you definitely do not, should not be in a position of

like being a guardian to this child well he's working out in a way that's like yeah i didn't pay my car i didn't pay anything i just let it all go because i was just done i was just done with this depression surely america you understand what i'm going through

all right well after the explosive fight with brittany jacks made the decision to seek help at a mental health facility called denny's Denny's does mental health.

Is that true?

He's like, well, you know, I had to end it.

You know, my job was on the line my son you didn't give a fuck about your son and i'm so sick of you bringing up your son over and over again like that's your shield you know you don't give a fuck about your son you never have you may kicked your son out of the house and now you're gonna sit up here and cry your son every you i want to see my son you never tried to see your son when you got out of there shut the fuck up about your son you don't care do your son a favor and never go around that kid again let the kid pretend that you're dead because that would be better for him and then his whole yeah my job is on the line yeah you went there because they threatened to fire you unless you went after you abused your wife again

yeah and note that he listed his job first before his son so uh so and he's like and so your job with the show he's like yeah i was just in such a bad place i i didn't want to go i didn't think i needed help but thank god because my job and my son those are the two most important things to me especially the job and you know carlos or whatever my son's name is also important to me so once you start taking those you know those things away it's just like, Jesus,

you need to go to rehab, you know?

And he's like, well, you actually went twice.

Like, yeah, I relapsed.

Although, does it count as a relapse if you were never quite

unlapsed in the first place?

Isn't it just the first time?

I don't know what it is, but they made me go back another time.

I was trying to get the timeline of this because it's been so confusing over the season, you know, like what we've seen and then what's being reported.

So from what I've been able to find out, and this comes from a report on Brittany talking about it on her podcast.

Apparently he went the first time when the show made him, which we saw on camera, he went to this whatever, fluffy-duffy, outpatient type thing where like he could leave is what I mean, which is the one we saw on the show.

And then he was using, so he got sent back to, he went, he went to an actual rehab and then he didn't like that because they were, you know, they're going to be a lot harder on you in like a real rehab.

So he left that after two days and then he fucked up again and then went back to the floofy-doofy one and then left after 17 days because he couldn't handle that either.

So this guy's never made a real fucking effort.

No, he really hasn't.

So so here, so he, here he's saying that, uh, like he was out, like Brittany is saying he was out the first week.

And she says, the thing with Ian was the first time he acted like the the drugs and the alcohol were not a problem.

And he's like, no, drugs and alcohol, I think, are not the big problem.

I feel like, you know, you're just masking hurt, like whatever you're going through, fighting, all the stuff I was doing to Brittany, and I was angry, and I would use drugs and alcohol to take it away just for a couple of hours, because I'm the one who's the real victim here.

I'm like, well, maybe it's all of the above.

Maybe it's the drugs and the alcohol and the emotional shit.

But he now says he's been sober for 156 days.

uh except for weed

and uh andy's like do you believe that he's sober and you know she's like well he does a drug test and he passes and you know what we we you know i've given him i give them to him sporadically and he's like twice you've only given me drug tests twice shouldn't you be happy about that i know i know he's like trying to hold her well that's his also his big thing that he's hinted at a few times like well you know i only got like this because britney let me like i don't know why she put up with it this long you know like i didn't realize how out of control i was and brittany just let it happen and uh she's like yeah i got a hundred pack of drug tests so you know i can test him he's like yeah he did it twice she goes well i get a call every monday from a guy and you you know it's like tom schwartz like hi i'm just um i'm just calling to say um i've got to test back from jackson oh he's just a boy he's 100 just a boy so

boys will be boys so jacks is like oh yeah yeah i make sure they call britney to let him know i'm passing you know you know that it's very important to me that they call britney and she goes yeah but who's the person that made it happen he goes okay well no one made it happen but it was just the right thing to do it was just the right thing to do so

i made it happen oh by the way and are you on steroids And he's like, no, I'm not a steroid.

She's like, yeah, yeah, really?

Because your attitude and your personality.

And this is a thing that Stasi had problems with too, right?

Like he was losing all, he was having rage fits and all of this shit too.

And she went and got rid of all his protein shakes and all this other shit.

It's also roiting out.

So

she's saying his personality is so crazy.

And she's like, okay, so if it's not drugs and it's not steroids and it's not alcohol and it's not this or it's not, then why are you still just as crazy as before?

Are you you saying his anger has not improved what so you worked on your anger he's like no i'm i'm trying to work on my anger and i i'm still very trying to work on that i'm very trying and he's like but it sounds like she's saying it hasn't changed he's like he's like i i think it's gotten a lot better i mean do you agree it's gotten a lot better she's like Someday's okay.

But she basically like, no, it has not gotten better.

So he's like, Andy's like, well, I would assume that you would agree that if you were on steroids, it would be detrimental to your anger issues.

Have you thought about this, dum-dum?

And he's he's like, look, I'm not on anything except steroids and everything I was doing before.

Keep testing me.

I want you to test me.

Hold me accountable in my head.

If I ever try to sleep again, I know you're not going to, you're going to test me.

I want you to test me.

He's like getting, he's doing the exact same thing that you said, where he's still kind of like...

Putting it on someone else to keep him on the street and narrow instead of himself.

He's like, yeah, please keep me straight.

Please, because I don't want to touch drugs and alcohol again because like it's fucked up my life.

Well, we know that's a lie because you just said two seconds ago that it's not drugs and alcohol, it's anger.

So, we know that this is a prepared bullshit speech that the owner of Rocco's gave you to read.

So, please, with this, yeah.

And he's like, It's just so hard, you know.

Like, and I know I'm not the victim.

She's the victim.

She's the victim, you know, not me, but I'm just human.

I'm human, you know.

And some people think I'm the devil, and I get it, but I have feelings too.

Like, it's the hardest fucking thing to do in front of God and everyone in the audience.

Please, you've taken nothing but joy in being an abusive piece of for years now i do not believe you i do not believe you i don't even care if you're sober i don't care if you get your together to me it's too little too late goodbye stay off of my tv stay away from me and stay away from anybody who is a decent person.

You are a piece of shit.

You are irredemptive.

I don't care if you get clean.

I don't care.

It doesn't even matter.

You're a terrible person.

Well, you knew you were filming whenever you did these things.

You're like, yeah, I knew, but that, but that's, but I'm not, I'm not thinking about that timing.

Okay, that's why our show is the real shit because I put everything out there.

So, basically, Bravo, you should hire me back.

Despite all this, I make great television.

I'm sincere.

Okay.

Thanks so much.

I put everything out there.

You've done nothing but lie since you've come on this show.

You've never been honest.

Even right now, in two minutes, you got caught with lies.

What do you?

It's not drugs and alcohol.

It's drugs and alcohol ruined my life.

I want nothing but for my son to have stability.

You kick them out of your house.

Like, there's too much to even list with you.

Just shut up.

Yeah.

Wow.

Well, that was the first episode.

We got two more to come.

There's going to be a lot of stuff to cover on this reason.

Oh, and by the way, congratulations to Danny, who brought out on the season finale that Jax was fucking his employees over at Jax's Bar and Grill.

And then Jax got fired the same week.

Nailed it.

So good.

So good.

All right, everyone.

Thanks for being here, and we'll catch you on the next episode.

Bye, everyone.

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