#2946 RHOA S16E20 Part 1: Oakley-Dokily

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to talk about.

I'm Ben Manliker and joining me today is the Angie K sunglass, Ronnie Carom.

Hi, Ronnie.

How are you?

Happy Monday.

Well, hello.

Happy Monday, everybody.

It's a big Monday for us in these parts, in these crappins parts, because we are about to recap the final installment of the Atlanta Reunion.

And then later today at 4 p.m.

Pacific, 7 p.m.

Eastern, we are going back onto Amazon Live and we've decided to theme today's Amazon Live, self-care, self-care.

So Ronnie's going to talk about skincare stuff.

I'm going to recommend some healthy cookbooks and we're going to have a really fun time.

So join us.

We are like two little kids on there.

We have so much fun.

So join us on Amazon Live at four o'clock.

And then after that,

the live ness continues because we have crappy hour at 5.30.

And you can catch that on our YouTube channel.

And it's simulcast also onto our Instagram.

And we have a special guest on tonight's crappy hour.

We have Misha from

The Big Flop.

So

did I say that right?

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm like, you know, when you say a word and you're like, did I say that correctly?

Did I say the syllables correctly?

Yes, because it's like every other word for me.

But anyway, we're going to be

a crappy hour.

We have Misha on.

He's great.

We've done his show a few times, and we are excited to have him on our show to talk the latest Bravo gossip and news and whatever else is on our minds.

So come join us really all afternoon and evening.

Check it out.

And then we're going to, after this, we're going to record our bonus episode, which is going to be about our trip to Vegas this weekend, where I went to see Beyoncé and we both met up and saw the Backstreet Boys and had VIP backstage access.

So

join us for VVIP.

That would be a fun one.

Yeah, it was great.

So we'll tell you all the details.

Wow.

Well, I feel like we were VVIP.

I felt like it was Chanel Ion level.

It felt that way.

That's how I felt.

And yeah, we can't wait to tell you all the fun details of going to the sphere and everything.

So that's coming up.

But for right now, it's time to put a button on the season of Atlanta.

And we pick up with Porsche and Shamia, and they are still angry at each other, and they're mad.

And I think where we left off was talking about the mothers

and,

you know, some of the

sorted backstory between the mothers.

We started getting into the daycare fight of real housewives of Atlanta moms.

So, Andy's like, well, Shamia, I did see that Portia did a birthday post for you.

So that was nice.

I mean, in housewives' world, that's basically as good as anything else you could ever get and shamia's like yeah that was really sweet oh by the way did you see shamia's instagram shamia you know shamia has tested my nerves i think a lot of the audience's nerves where she's like nice but she hasn't really delivered i think the way that we've all wanted to but i have to say she did an intro insta post yesterday that really

delivered to me, delivered to my heart.

It was Shamia.

It was like a professionally done video, you know, of course, because she's rich as hell.

And it's in her gorgeous gorgeous home, and she's sitting on a couch, and the music is like piano, tinkling, sad piano music.

It's like tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.

And she sits down and she moves her hair.

And she's like, guys,

my family and friends have never steered me wrong.

And

so I'd like to tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, dramatic music.

She's like, I'd like to sincerely apologize.

Starting with Portia.

And then she names all the ladies.

She just names everybody to Phaedra, even Phaedra, who just got here.

To Kelly, to Britt,

to Kenya,

to Angela,

to Kim Zolsiak, to Mini Leaks,

to Andy Cohen, to Darren Karp, Andy Cohen's famous assistant.

Anybody I could possibly apologize to, I would just like to sincerely say, I'm sorry if I did anything to offend you.

Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.

I was like, oh, wow, thanks.

Like a five-minute apology video that says nothing.

It's like the biggest sorry if I I've ever seen.

And I cracked up that whole damn time.

So good for you, Shamia.

You know, funniest shit you did all season.

Nice work.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good for you, Shamia.

Yeah.

So

yeah, so yeah, she's, they have this whole nanny, like the, not nanny, daycare fight.

And

Porsche's accusing Shamia of like launching a smear campaign against her.

And this is where Porsche's like, why are you fighting with me?

And Shamia's like, why are you fighting with me?

Because you're lying.

She's like, and you think, you don't think you've been lying too?

What have I been lying about?

You posted about my mom saying she did something egregious to your mom, which, as we all know, the most egregious thing you can do is buy someone's daycare out of foreclosure.

I mean, it's really just, I don't even like to say it out loud.

I don't like the words to come out of my lips because it's, it's so ominous.

Yeah.

And she's like, why are you even bringing up my mom?

It's like, you know, she did something egregious.

So what did she do?

And Shamia's like, well, listen, if ever, if anybody asks me about your mom, I say that's not my business.

But now we're going to find out the story, which is what we thought last week.

Portia tells us that the moms were best friends.

They were both in the childcare industry.

And they both, you know, they would give tips back and forth.

You know, like we can't technically beat the kids because they're not our kids but we can use fly swatters or suggest they lick their finger and stick it in a light socket when they misbehave stuff like that you know just innocent stuff like that but you know then porsche's mom's location was going under foreclosure and shamia's mom went behind Porsche's mom's back and she bought it as soon as it went on foreclosure to which I say pay your rent pay your rent what is she supposed to do?

Go pay your rent for you.

Pay your rent.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I want to know the backstory.

Why did it go into foreclosure?

Why were the, why were the, why was that daycare not as well attended?

Or was it well attended, but it was poorly run?

Like, let's get into it.

Let's get into the nitty-gritty of what went down with, I don't know, True Sunshine Daycare.

I don't know if it's called that.

I'm just going to call it that.

True Sunshine Day.

You know,

when I was a little kid, my family owned a daycare.

Did you know this?

Of course they did.

No, I had no, was it the bowling alley?

No.

No, it was called Community of Faith.

And it was a Christian daycare.

And my family owned it.

I was, you know, raised.

I went to that school.

And

there was a lot of drama in the daycare industry.

So I get it, guys.

Like, I get it.

I'm a hardened, listen, at like three years old, I became a hardened daycare industry

vet.

So I totally get it.

And let me tell you who I haven't spoken to since I was four, four or five, the mixers who ended up taking over that daycare.

Now, was there drama?

I don't know.

Did we just grow apart after I was five?

I don't know, but I can tell you this: knowing the mixers, it probably was egregious.

So, if I could ever find Robbie or David Mixer again, I would fight with them over their mother and father being egregious towards my parents.

So, egregious.

Egregious in Kathy Lee.

It's just really, it's awful.

Wait a second.

Was the

Mixers related to the anchor woman who was mean to your mom?

No, that was totally, that was totally separate.

But I think there was some drama because the original daycare, there was another daycare that started, and that was just when I was born, so I don't remember it.

But my parents should not be shocked I was gay because guess what?

It was called Fairyland.

And then that turned,

that somehow morphed into this new business called Community of Faith.

So actually, now that we're talking about it, I need to interview my parents and get the drama because daycare drama is suddenly in again.

It's in.

I have a book on my hands.

It's the new hot, it's the new hot topic, daycare, daycare drams.

Like, and it's actually nice because sometimes when there is daycare drama, it's like the worst, scariest kind of drama.

It's like the disturbing kind that you get like really upset about.

It's like the, whatever, that, that James Wood movie.

about the daycare.

But like petty daycare drama, it's really, it's a refreshing twist on an old standard.

So I applaud it, you know?

Yeah.

So Portia is like, yeah.

And you know, you know how my mom found out about it was because her friend bought her business because we drove past it and she was putting up the sign.

Why do I feel?

I don't, I don't believe that Shamia's mom was up on that ladder hoisting up the sign as Miss Diane came driving by.

Unless,

on the other hand, I completely believe it.

If Shamia's mom is, we need to meet Shamia's mom more so we can know how petty she is.

Because is she the type of mom

and just be like, oh, here she comes.

Like start to hoist the sign up.

Or is

Porsche just being?

I hope she's super petty.

I hope they passed that daycare and she was putting up an upside-down picture of Miss Diane with a mustache on her.

Yeah.

Like Miss Diane is gone now.

She's gone.

So

they have a little fight about this, but we don't get too far into it, which is really upsetting because that would have given me more chances to go talk about fairyland and community of faith.

Well,

there's some disagreement here because Shamia says that

the moms weren't talking for years prior.

And so, like, it wasn't like Shamia's mom bought the business and Diane was like, enough with this lady.

There already was a rift.

And so, this, it's almost like, no, her pettiness was justified because it was,

you know,

it came as a result of many years of

pettiness between the women.

So this was just another

step that they took.

But Porsche's making it sound like, no, she was pretending to be a good friend, but then she went and vultured this business.

Well, don't you see the similarities?

Because it's exactly what these people are doing right now.

It's exactly what their daughters are doing all these years later.

They're having a fight about one thing, but then Porsche's like, no, no, I didn't go to your wedding, you know, because we were beefing before that.

That was a big revelation this year.

Like, it wasn't just because of my leg, my leg circulation.

It's also because we were fighting.

And so, you know, they're, they're doing, you know, we follow the same patterns as our parents, which is why I'm still terrible at bowling or holding on to daycare centers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's really, really difficult.

I'm still being boarded by mixers all these years later.

It's why I still love Tina Turner.

I just follow my mom's footsteps.

So, um, so Portia's denying it.

Porsche is saying that they didn't have a long-standing beef before then.

And Shamia's saying it was, it did happen that way.

And she said that she's like, you know, they were not talking about some other stuff.

And I don't want to speak on it.

I don't want to speak on it.

And you know, it's going to be some stupid thing.

Like someone like

Diane, you know, borrowed Shamia's mom's, you know, dodge dart and like got a ding in it.

And that caused this whole generational trauma.

Not the dodge dart.

Damn.

Not the elephant in the room.

Georgia.

Georgia comes in from next-gen New York City.

So Andy's like, well, there's a few things happening here.

My knee is asleep.

I didn't even know knees could sleep.

And, you know,

there were accusations of chattering behind each other's back.

And Portia's like, no, no, not each other's.

And Shamia's like, yes, each other's for sure, because she'd love to sit there and chatter with Britt,

which, you know, as I think Portia points out right now, I agree with this isn't a fair comparison because she didn't sit around chattering with her about it.

Britt brought her, you know, a bone.

So she,

what is she supposed to do?

She's like, she's just coming to me to tell me what you said.

I didn't sit there and chatter with her about it.

And she didn't even give in to Brit and talk shit about you.

She said, whatever.

I'm fine with Shamia.

I'll work that out with Shamia.

Right.

And Cynthia verifies this.

She's like, yeah, it was Britt who

came up and showed the text messages.

And Cynthia's like, and in that moment, Portia, I was like, let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Thank you, Cynthia.

So Portia, Porsche's like, yeah, we had a beautiful relationship prior to the show before she tried to come for that job.

And Shamia's like, we did.

We did.

And she's like, but once we start filming,

she took it to the left, to the left.

All the friendship in the box to the left.

And she goes, oh, yeah, I did.

It was all me.

It was all me.

I mean, from what we saw, it was you.

You

know, I,

what did Portia ever need to?

Well, that's not true.

I take it back because there was that thing at the bank where Portia was like, oh, is that Drew's song?

That sounds just like Drew.

Portia's not totally innocent here.

I think Portia was.

I don't think Portia liked Shamia being on her show.

Despite everything she said, I think she didn't.

I don't think she liked it.

Although she does.

Andy does.

I didn't see anything that she did to say that.

I thought that thing that she did in the bank party was shady, but all I've seen is Shamia talking about Portia not being a good friend the whole season to everybody, to people that weren't Portia's friends, to the point where it kept coming back to Portia over and over again.

So as far as that goes, all I really see is from Shamia, I only see that from Shamia's side.

I don't remember Portia ever doing anything to her except for that, that sounds like Drew's song or whatever.

Yeah, I think the thing is, I think that like a lot of the stuff is just.

I think there's probably just, obviously there's pent-up stuff from over the years, like the fact that we were going back into the issue about Shamia's wedding and now Portia admits that it was, actually, I didn't go because I was angry at you.

Like, you know,

I think Shamia has just been in the sidekick role for a long time, and now she's stepped out from being a sidekick, and she's kind of like vomiting all her issues all over the place, which is her own fault.

But I also don't think that Portia, I'm not sure Portia is comfortable with Shamia not being a sidekick.

You think everyone's uncomfortable with Portia not being a sidekick?

No, I think Portia's not comfortable.

Sorry.

I think Portia is not comfortable with Shamia no longer in the sidekick role.

I think it's, I think she says she wants Shamia to be on the show, but I don't think that she, I think the reality of it is that I don't know if she really loves it.

Like, you know, I still remember she showed up like really late to Shamia's like opening season party and then shows up right when Shamia is like having this big in the spotlight moment.

So Porsche kind of like undermines that.

There was like the, there was the moment in the bank with the singing and I don't know.

I just feel like showing up.

I think there's blood on both their hands here, you know?

I just think there's something i think that portia's slick i think she's really slick and i think she's a diva and she has a she has a track record of being a diva and wanting things her way and you know i think i think shamia did not handle it well at all and she got really clocked for it uh at this reunion for for really just not being emotionally honest about like how she truly feels about a situation, which is why

she's in this stinking mess in the first place.

But I think that Porsche is not innocent.

No, I don't think she's innocent.

I just think that if you're friends with Portia, you're not going to be shocked that Portia shows up late because I'm not friends with Portia, but I've watched this show and I know that Porsche is late for everything.

Like literally, this is the first time she's even showed up to have the things on time.

Remember the last season she was on, she was not showing up at all.

She would show up like six hours after an event.

Like every time they'd be like, Portia, are you even going to come film the show?

You know?

Yeah.

So I don't know.

I don't know.

You know, look, I don't think Portia's completely innocent, but I think as far as what we've seen on the show, it's been mostly Shamia started.

And then Shamia acts like, what?

I didn't do any of that.

And she's just not honest about it.

Like when she, when Portia said last week, like, you had two weddings.

I went to the local wedding.

She's like, no, we didn't have a local wedding.

And everyone's like, yes, you did have a local wedding.

And then we find out that she did have a local wedding.

It was like the.

the dowry ceremony or something.

I forget what it's called.

Sorry, I don't mean to be culturally insensitive.

I literally, when it comes to weddings, I block them out because it usually means I have to buy shit for people that I barely know.

But

she did go to that.

Portia was like a bridesmaid in her local ceremony.

And then they had another one in Kenya that Kent that she didn't go to.

But, you know, it's just the way that Shamia kind of skirts around things that I don't know that I would call her a liar because I like Shamia at the end of the day, but she's not 100% truthful with the way she relays stuff.

Yeah, that's why she's getting,

she's sort of, they are kind of giving her some slaps on the wrist for not being honest honest about how she feels about.

Like last episode, they're like, Shamia, you're not over it.

She's like, I'm over it.

Like, you're not.

You have to be honest.

You're not over it.

You know, whatever it was they were talking about last week.

So she does need to communicate better about these things.

But I also think, you know.

Well, she also needs to communicate smarter.

I think it's okay to vent about a friend who is like, if a friend is frustrating you and you need to sort of vent a little bit, you can vent to your friends, but don't vent to your co-stars because they're going to bring it right to the other person and center you in some sort of drama.

And that's really what happened to her here.

So

just a life lesson.

Be careful who you talk shit to.

Be careful who you talk to.

Be careful.

Be talk shit to.

I mean, come on, guys.

Just be talking about shit.

And if you do talk shit,

if you do talk shit, just when it, if you get confronted with it, just be like, yep, I was talking shit.

Moving on.

Yeah.

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So, Andy is like, um, well, Shamila, is there anything that happened during the season that you can apologize for or take ownership for right now?

She's like, yes, I apologize.

And if you just give it a few months, I will be releasing a very evocative video on my social media with soundtrack to flesh this out.

But I do own talking about my friendship problems with...

Portia to these ladies, these fuckers over here.

And everyone on the sofa is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

She's like, I just wish I had a third party here.

You mean like a therapist?

Because that sounds like you should be talking to.

I'd like to sing my new song, Daycare, dedicated to Porsche.

Daycare,

daycare.

You care about daycare, but do you care about me in the day?

So, um,

Drew's like, I never ran back with anything.

I never ran back.

And she's like, yeah, you know, I wish I had somebody on my side because you all said she feels that she feels the friendship was lopsided.

But, you know, those are things that you guys were feeling.

And Angela's like, that's not what I said.

And she's like, well, but then when it was taken to Portia, it was said like how that was how I felt, even though it was you guys saying the friendship was lopsided.

But then it sounded like I was saying the friendship was lopsided, even though I'm completely saying right now that the friendship is lopsided.

I never said that to you guys, which is just like, that's what I'm talking about.

She talks herself in these circles.

Like, you've already told us 10 times in this reunion you feel the relationship is lopsided.

So why are you arguing that you never said you thought the relationship was lopsided?

She's like, I feel the relationship is lopsided, but I never told you guys that I thought it was lopsided.

You guys just figured that out and told her, but I never said that to you, even though that's how I feel truly.

Yeah, I never said the word lopsided, but I just described the friendship as lopsided, which made you guys describe it that way to her.

How dare you?

Okay, and this is another reason, Ben, that Shamia is kind of on my nerves because of all the Instagrams that have been posted.

Okay, so here's one from Porsche.

A round of applause for my bestie, Shamia.

Clapping, clapping emojis.

Welcome to Real Housewives of Atlanta as an official housewife.

Peach, finally, let's get this show on the road and light these screens up.

Love you.

Congratulations and happy birthday.

Love you long time.

Queen Wongi has entered the chat.

Peach holder, over 20 years of friendship.

Hashtags two girls dancing.

Hashtags.

Pia, and then this is another one.

Shamia Morton lying again in her latest post.

She claims flowers were for her birthday when the card I sent on the flowers clearly say, congratulations.

Going out sad, sis, Delulu, and you better not edit it either.

Then we see a Shamia post that says, again, I had one wedding that took place in Nairobi, Kenya.

What you attended was my dowry ceremony in my mom's backyard.

Second, you sent flowers on my birthday week just before we started filming.

I'd had my peach for over a month.

So I said we never celebrated.

You can keep your fake receipts with your fake-ass friendships.

Well,

I mean, I don't know.

This is what's always so tricky is that the Porsche thing, it's like, well, that's pretty.

That's pretty clear that Porsche was celebrating Shamia.

But then Shamia's like, yeah, back that up.

It's like, you waited, like, we never celebrated.

And then you posted something on social media that makes it look like like

a friend there's also right but like

but like this is like an age-old housewife thing which is like oh you do something that's performative for the masses to make it look like you're being a supportive friend but actually privately you're not being supportive at all but you're just letting people think that that's like i think what shamia is saying here and we've seen this happen before on housewives you know like like you never called me you waited until this reunion you like you like you made it a public thing so it's really it's hard to gauge on this one for me i don't know i just for me like i think i'm thank you i um

i understand ben it's tough it's tough being a recapper sometimes but um i think that like my five i mean i get no no no i think it was funny it's funny like like as recappers we're like consoling each other like it's hard sometimes but i think that like i i bring to this season you know, many seasons of Portia,

and especially like her final season that you mentioned, where she was late to things and she like was not necessary.

She really was like not dialed in, or she was very self-producing.

And she would leave a trip early because she didn't want to do it anymore in a way where she was like acting like she was bigger than the show.

And I just have to imagine like that that energy just doesn't go away overnight necessarily,

but although it's been a few years, to be fair.

So I just, for me, I guess i bring that into this season is remembering that portia who like as much as i love portia i know there's that side of her and i can imagine that that side is a very difficult side to deal with in a friendship

yeah yeah i guess to me it just looks like shamia

you know has a bunch of built-up stuff but she got on this show and she's like i need something so i'm coming for my best friend and i'm gonna just go and she doesn't have enough to really come after her she should have really held off until season two or three because a natural progression on a housewives show is to get annoyed.

So,

you know, we all know that alliances, whenever someone's like, oh my God, this is my bestie, that they're going to be fighting within a year, you know, within like the second season of that friendship.

And so she, she really needed to just water this and let the resentments grow because I think right now they're just too much.

I mean, the fact that somebody sent you a whole bouquet of white roses was best.

you know, one of your bridesmaids in your wedding that you're pretending wasn't really a wedding and then did all this stuff, sent you the made you a post which may not sound like a big deal but these women are fame whores all of them and everyone on bravo not just the women we're just talking about women today but these people on bravo are all fame whores and so yes someone with millions of followers making a post saying welcome at shamia morton to this thing that is a big deal you know it's like she's saying go follow this chick you know so that's that's a gift to a fame-hungry person so i mean i feel like after doing all of that and then coming back and being like you didn't do anything you don't want me on this show and you didn't support me is completely crazy when you were the one coming for her all season and trying to make her look like a bad friend.

So that's kind of where I'm standing with the whole thing.

I don't really hate anybody.

I'm just proud of Portia.

I'm just giving Portia so much credit for just showing up for half of her scenes this year.

For me, that goes a long way.

I'm like, look, it's her.

She's actually here.

She had a better dress at the reunion.

I'll say that.

I think also

that

I forgot what I was going to say.

I forgot.

It was some really good point.

So just just pretend I made, I just made like a great point.

And you guys are like, that was a great point.

Well, you know what?

I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what you just want out of me.

Silence without

damn.

Enjoy that.

I don't know what it was.

Oh, I was going to say, actually, really, if Shamia did come onto the show purely to litigate like old beefs with Portia and to like, you know, air out all her grievances, she should have like, I agree that she should have waited a little bit so that way we cared more.

Because I have to say, ultimately, even though we are somehow just debating this for 10 minutes, I don't actually care very much about their falling out and their beef.

Like, I didn't feel like I had enough buy-in on it because there were other things on the show that were distracting me away from it.

And so I think I would have like maybe waited so that way it could be a more central thing.

And in fact, if anything.

This season should have been about them being besties.

Like we knew that they're besties, but we needed to really see them as main character energy besties that we could we could get into so that way next season the trailer could be like black and white like bum bum bum like oh my god shamia and porsha aren't talking anymore whereas this season it's sort of like shamia was there she's she's on the show and she's sort of she has some resentments towards portia and okay you need to build that

you can crash it down yeah yeah you know that was if it's not a demo like if you're if you're watching a building get demolished that's amazing like when they demolish those old casinos in vegas you know they're like oh we're finally getting rid of the desert in or whatever and it's like this huge thing and it's all over the news.

But without the building, it's just some bomb going off.

You know, who cares?

Like, we need destruction.

We need destruction.

Build it up.

Yeah.

We need to

be as dramatic as possible.

Don't take off the first three stories and then demolish the whole thing.

Yeah.

So I'm glad.

I think we figured that one out.

I feel like we're

going to last season.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So then Drew's like, well, when we went to lunch, there was never a question

asked you how drew talks sometimes like she's she lawyers things in in argument she's like well when we went to lunch there was never a question asked you by me or angela about the nature of your relationship with portia

it almost felt like you needed to get it out and shamia's like well uh and she goes and we were just giving you a safe space and she goes well apparently that wasn't a safe space and she goes well i didn't take it back to Portia and Angela's like, I did, I didn't.

And Shamia's like, well, you took it back wrong.

the point is that you had to pinky swear because pinky swear because you wanted to divulge this and it was something very heavy on you, which, by the way, if that is true,

you guys are shitty.

You guys broke the pinky swear.

You guys broke, broke the pinky swear.

Like this was something that was weighing heavily on you and it meant a lot to you and was important and you wanted our secrecy, which is why we then told Portia.

There's no pinky swearing on housewives.

No, it definitely is not.

And the whole reason you share information like that with other cast members on housewives is so that they can bring it forward.

You know, there's no like, oh, I just really need to get off this.

I need to get something really personal off my chest.

So you know who I'm going to trust?

People on a TV show.

No.

You tell them when you want to carry the watch, you know, to carry the bags for you.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

All right.

It almost sounds to me like you've had a harder time with what's happened after the show.

Portia, would you like to elaborate?

Yeah.

So there's a friendship friendship group that we have, a private friendship group.

They're a private friendship group.

They're friendship for money.

They'll do what they want you to do.

Sorry, I knew you were going to do that.

I knew you were going to do that.

And

you could hear me grinding to a halt, trying to figure out how to do it.

And then I

started it out.

Dutch boxer dollars.

American Express will do.

Nicely thank you.

So

she says,

basically, she's like that there are ladies, there's some ladies in the friendship group.

And Shamia told him that Portia didn't want Shamia to be a peach holder and that Portia didn't congratulate her.

So it was like, these are the third parties.

It's the private friendship group, which I'm assuming are like the women who are at the other end of the table during the Nashville party, but like private friends.

Yeah.

Like the real

TV friends.

And she's like, so the private friends are saying the same things that the TV friends are, which means you are going to literally everybody you see and talking shit.

Why are you lying?

And she's like, Andy, have I always wanted Shamia to be on this show?

And he's like, yeah, that is true.

That is true.

I mean, remember the first time you begged me, we said, boring.

He said, no.

The second time we said awful.

He said no.

The third time we said, terrible.

Please don't let her thing.

And finally, all these years later, it worked.

So yeah.

Jamia's just like, thanks.

This feels great.

Yeah, remember what I said?

Shamia should definitely be on the show.

Yeah.

And you said, Shamia should be on the show so I could, I could just, I could just shit on her, right?

No, I never said that.

Bar, quiet, Andy.

So

Portia's like, so moving on.

Now I'm watching live interviews.

And someone asks you, like, where's your friendship stand?

And you say, well, I, now that I have a peach, it's different.

Why?

And Shamia's like, it is.

It is different.

But I never talked about you, Shamia.

I'm watching interviews of you saying you want i don't want you in the show you sang a song about it

she basically is saying like i never did this stuff and you're talking all this about me right now

yeah and she's like oh really shamia she says girl are you serious like you all had that conversation together saying that i was screwing candy and todd and i didn't do that to myself and portia's like nobody was sabotaging your marriage so now they're kind of talking over each other and shamia is saying um i said you could have i didn't say you ruined my engagement i said you could have ruined my engagement had he listened to you two.

And she, Portia's like, well, they're saying you would have played a part in sabotaging your own engagement at that time.

And she goes, okay, okay.

And Portia goes, because I kissed candy in the club and you kissed candy in the club.

So now we're going back to the candy in the club kissing.

I mean, this all end is on that one season.

And Shamia's like, well, what we're not going to do.

And Kelly's just like, did she just say that they both kissed candy in the club?

And we never go back to that.

yeah,

so Portia's like, Well, you know, you brought up this stuff from 10 years ago, and I just do as many press days as you do, okay?

And possibly more because I've been on the show a little bit more, right?

Everyone's like, Shade.

She goes, It wasn't a dig, it wasn't a dig.

I'm just like, you know, I've done more press,

and they're like, It was a dig.

It's like, what I'm trying to say is, I've been asked the exact same questions that you were asked, and I've never disparaged our relationship whatsoever.

And I thought we had a beautiful friendship.

Yeah.

And um, Shimmy is like, Yeah, well, I thought we did too,

but then I found out you didn't come to the wedding in Kenya because of the beefing, also because it was in Kenya.

That's far, that is far.

That is far, honestly.

That's that's a very far, that's a that's more than a destination wedding.

That's like a

that's a let's, that's like, you know, if you like go up to colonize Mars, you're not coming back, like you're going far.

It's stupid.

So,

uh, so Kelly, so Andy asks basically,

he points out that Kelly and Shamia have become very close.

So he asks Kelly what her thoughts are.

And Kelly's answer is like, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, clank, click.

I keep thinking my ring, my door, my ring thing was going off.

Because sometimes it literally made like the chong, chong sound that the ring makes.

It was like,

she's like, well, Andy.

That's a really good question.

And like, me and Shamia built a beautiful bond and like a beautiful friendship with each other.

And I always tell her, I really hope and pray that her and Porsche can just figure this out.

I just want her to tell her how you really feel.

And like, this is a good moment to tell her.

Because some of us who are going through long divorces don't have these moments.

Okay, I'm getting divorced.

It was like lunchtime in a Lubies every time she talked.

The seniors

clanking on their plates over and over again, trying to find the bottom of their fish with Mannies on top.

They need to attach those little felt pads that you put at the bottom of your chair to protect Florida.

They just need to attach them in between the different bangles that way they don't clank as much listen we've been through clanking i mean girl yeah i mean everybody's earrings like are any of you worried about your ear holes like can we get some ear hole psas from somebody because geez

yeah i mean yeah drew secretly had massive earrings.

I love that Drew put on these enormous, enormous earrings and then put her hair all the way over them.

So you don't even notice the big earrings until like the end of the show.

I'm like, why do you even have the big earrings if you're going to hide them?

I don't know.

But the clanking was out of control.

And listen, we've been through clanking.

We've been through Asa on Shaza Sunset.

Like we've been through Shas and Sunset and Sunset Reunions.

There's a lot of gold moving around in those, but this was really, this is next level.

This was a lot.

Yeah.

So Kelly is like, yeah, you know, this is a good moment to tell her.

You know, you need to tell her how you really feel, Shamia.

And Porsche is like, this is not her moment.

You know what her moment was?

When we had our final moment.

You know what her moment was?

When I called her and talked to her about it.

And Kelly's like, no, it's her moment.

Let her have her moment.

Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink.

Let her have her moment.

Clink, clink, clink.

And Portia's like, you know, now it's just a beat up on Portia's section.

And she's like, girl, nobody's beating up on you, Portia.

Let her have her moment.

Now, Shamia, and Shamia's like, thank you.

When we sat one-on-one, I thought we had a very clean slate and we were moving forward.

And then I noticed she was distancing herself from me.

I mean, even around Londi's funeral time, I'm reaching out like, hey, can we link up, girl?

Can you believe that?

She She was ignoring me during someone's funeral.

And I'm not trying to discredit that you were grieving.

All I'm trying to say is as I was continuing to try to reach out, to hang out and to hook up.

And Porsche's like, whatever.

And she's like, see, look, even the way you just did that, the way you rolled your eyes, that's just, that's dismissive.

Just, yeah, because you're using these things against me.

She's like, but do you see what I'm saying?

Can you ever phrase a sentence without trying to make me look bad?

She's like, no, because I'm trying to make you look bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, let a girl have goals.

But yeah, she's, of course, like, I was, I'm grieving my cousin and you're using me not calling you back right after my cousin died as an example of me being a bad friend.

Like, can I grieve my cousin without you even making me look like a terrible person?

And she's like, how dare you not call me from the grave site?

I wanted to have lunch that day.

And so Shimmy is like, well, I wouldn't have even known there was beef unless uh wait i wouldn't have even known that there was any beef unless cynthia um didn't tell me unless i think that means cynthia told me i told portia like what had britt had done and after i saw them hanging out and then posting i'm like okay so she made her decision i basically told her that brit

you know

said all this stuff and she's still hanging out with britt and brit she's like that had nothing to do with you what are you talking about what you did was what what you did me hanging out with brit has nothing to do with you it really it really got into the weeds at this point.

This is one of those points where I was like, just sort of like letting the words wash over me.

I'm like, the takeaway is they're angry at each other and they're just

saying things because they're talking about the friendship and like with all you became friends with Kelly, not because of this, because of that, but you like Kelly.

And of course I like Kelly.

And so Kelly is like...

Portia is mad at certain things that Shamia said or did, interviews or things that she said to the other girls.

Shamia is mad about all of these little things that don't even have any concrete.

She can't even say a concrete thing.

Like, you said this to this person.

It's just like, I feel like you didn't want me on the show.

I feel like you chose Britt over me in that moment because you should have not liked her after I told her stuff that you, that she showed me the texts or whatever all this stuff is.

So, I mean, I kind of understand one side of it.

And I'm kind of glad that Porsche is keeping up on her.

Like, what are you even coming at me for now?

Because everything she's bringing up to me just seems silly

at this point.

I can't get mad at anything.

And you know that I'd love to get angry.

I'm filled with rage all the time.

And I'm just not, I don't even feel it.

And that's sad.

I don't feel it.

You can't even fill me with rage.

Yeah.

You know what I'm mad at today?

Because I parked yesterday somewhere and they left a little parking ticket under my windshield.

And I didn't want to get out of the car and take it off.

And so it's been flapping under my windshield wiper.

And so I literally woke up today like, should I call somebody?

Because I'm pissed.

What if it rained?

I was thinking, what if it rained?

And then I would have been stuck there with a windshield wiper with this crusty shit on it and it would have ruined the thing.

And then next time I couldn't use it, it would have scrapped my window and that would have cost me hundreds of goddamn dollars.

Wait, was this the, oh, I thought you were saying like you got a traffic ticket?

It's just like the little tag that they put in.

Yeah.

Actually, when it rains, I find

in my experience, okay, everyone, we're going to get, we're going to get deep here.

My experience is whenever they put those tags on, I have often been lazy and I just let it sit there under the windshield wiper.

And then I'm like, well, maybe I'll try to wipe it off and you do the windshield wiper because it'll just fly off, which is actually not bad because I think that's actually technically littering.

So pretend I never said that, but also pretend I never said the following.

So, but the, the, you know, it'll never release.

It's like, I'm staying here.

You must hand pluck me off.

But I do find that once there's actually some like.

moisture from like rain or like a spritz, then the ticket's like, whoa, and then it like sticks to the windshield more and it releases itself from the windshield wiper and then it it disappears into the ether i'm not saying i do a tiny little well that's what's going to happen because i'm not taking it out myself and then yesterday i was driving and then i was like okay you know when you try and turn on the windshield wiper and then grab it with your hand but it's too far down it's too far down on the windshield wiper and so i was driving and i was like you know holding the steering wheel and then i'm reaching out of the car to look at park with the wind and i was like i'm gonna die like this because that person left my thing here i'm gonna call someone tomorrow and tell them i died.

I'm just going to be like, hi, this is a call from a ghost of a person that could still be on this earth had it not been for you leaving a parking ticket thing at the very bottom of my windshield.

I couldn't even get it when I was driving and now I'm dead.

Well, I have some real rageful things to say to Delta Airlines and I have some rageful things to say to the Cosmopolitan Hotel in Vegas.

But you'll, I will save that for the bonus episode because that's where you're going to hear me angry.

You're going to hear me angry this week on this bonus episode.

You'll also hear me like very ecstatic and happy, but I'll also be angry too at those two businesses who cost me time and money in a bad way.

Bad, bad way.

Can't wait to hear it.

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Anyway, my point is, like, I can get rageful over anything, and Shamia can't even make me mad.

And that's a bad sign for a housewife.

So, Portia's like, well, you know, I think it's odd for you to go sit after you and Britt had that conversation about me because Kelly's like, well, that friendship's very different, you know.

And Kelly's like, well, I think your friendship with Britt is very calculated.

And Britt's not your friend.

Britt could care less about what you have going on.

Okay, Kelly, but you were friends with her this whole season.

While you could use Britt as a weapon against everybody else, she was fine with you.

But then when that weapon was turned on you, now you have this big problem with her.

So you don't really have a whole lot of credence in this.

You know, like, hold on, hold on.

Ronnie, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Before you start to get mad, because it seemed like you weren't mad all the time.

Recap, but you were just about to get mad right now.

Let me stop you right now.

Cynthia,

where could this you go?

You have had to been sitting in the same exact position for four hours.

You haven't even moved.

This is amazing.

Are you a statue?

You've just been sitting there nodding your head while you're squinting your eyes.

Like you just feel terrible about everything.

What do you have to say, Cynthia?

Any advice, Auntie Cynthia?

And Cynthia's like, well, as someone who's been on the show for 900 years, I'd just like to say, whenever I'm sad, I sit on my countertops.

Or I walk around my countertops, or I lean on my countertops, because countertops can change a girl's life.

All right.

Thank you.

Thank you to the love of Cynthia's life, the countertops of the lake house.

Thank you.

It was beautiful.

It's beautiful.

Well, this year was the most difficult year ever, and it really was.

And I'm literally at the bottom.

Ah.

Pedro goes, depleted.

Yeah.

So at this space.

I laughed at that.

Pedro just goes, hmm, depleted.

Yeah.

Not a single pleat left on my pants.

So at this space in time of my life, I just want to be exactly where I feel comfortable.

And I do not feel comfortable within my friendship with Shamia.

And as I'm sure she doesn't feel comfortable with me either.

I'm only human.

I'm just a girl standing in front of a guy who sells hot dogs asking him to stop talking to Drew.

And I can only deal with so much and I don't have anything else to offer at this right now at this moment.

No questions, please.

No more.

No further questions.

Thank you.

And Shamia's like, okay, that's real.

That's real.

And Andy's like, okay, well, how do you take it, Shamia?

You kept saying you wanted to have your say and now's your chance to have your say.

And she's like, well, that's the difference between us, because if even at times where I didn't have the bandwidth to deal with it, because I had my own shit happening, I would find the bandwidth to deal with it.

Except for all the times that I didn't would deal with it for a year and just talk to all our friends about Portia.

But

I have love why Portia.

What's that?

Drew's like, you got free Wi-Fi?

What?

And she's like, you know, I have that kind of love for Portia so much so where everybody calls me her lap dog.

And he's like, okay, okay.

Look at this.

Look at the sacrifices I made.

I endured being called her lap dog because I used bandwidth to talk to her.

So it hurts me to think I came to the show to sabotage her because ultimately I just want peace for both of us, you know?

And it's like, you take that, Portia.

Yeah.

All right.

Cynthia's like, yay.

Cynthia claps like, like they actually achieved something.

She's like, yay.

I'm like, nothing was, they hate each other, Cynthia.

Relax.

And Anthony's happens.

And he set these reunions up to be like, where if you don't make up, then you're fired.

You know, like, he can't just have them always fighting.

So he gets them to fight.

And then he's like, so do you see a path forward?

And every single time they have to say, yes, no matter what, no matter what's happened, I see a path forward.

He's like, okay, you can have another season.

Cause if they don't, he's like, one of you is fired.

So it's like little kids getting in trouble, you know, because he's like, Portia, did you hear that?

And she's like, yes.

He's like, okay, well done.

I guess we're moving on then.

Finally solved it.

Me andy Cohen.

Myself.

Yeah, I think that Shamia, I think the lesson is that if you feel a certain way i think for your own benefit don't talk to the other cast members quietly off camera make a scene on camera so that way our show is better okay

i wish he had used different terminology because he goes you need to figure out a way to vocalize it no she doesn't don't use vocalize around her okay i'm enough i've had enough of the vocalizing

well because it's diverting in a million different ways but it still exists and your your friendship is a portion of everybody else's.

It's just going to, it's only going to suit you to say that you really pissed me off when you did that and I'm hurt.

Like, so you can move forward.

And it's that's the backbone of an honest relationship.

Andy all of a sudden trying to be like Dr.

Simone giving therapy on a beach somewhere.

It's like, okay, Andy, right.

At the end of the day, we are sisters who come together on a beach.

I'd love when Andy gives these pep talks as if he is not like the figurehead of a franchise that actively tries to tear people apart for like

going about it every time.

He builds an entire empire on getting women to fight with each other in ball gowns.

And then he's like, no, say you're sorry.

You started setting attention.

I mean, the backbone of an honest friendship is apologizing and being your authentic self.

By the way, she slept with your husband.

So.

Shamira's like, I own that.

Like, I literally do.

I'm very wealthy.

And I accept that.

And I'm going to work on that.

And I think it naturally just like when I got a lot of stuff happening in my life, like the elevator in my house broke down again.

You guys all understand that.

Oh, none of you guys have elevators.

Okay.

Well, maybe just me.

But people who are in my, in my, in my socioeconomic class would understand these things.

It just, it's, I don't know if I have it in me right now.

Okay.

So I just choose to move past it manually on a staircase because you know, elevator broken.

I'm literally moving on a staircase.

It's very sad.

I feel like I'm Drusidora in her ranch home.

Anyway, I'm just going to sweep it under a rug.

Unlike Drusidora, she cannot afford a maid.

And that's okay.

I'm, it's coping.

It's right because I just, I don't have to deal with it right now.

It's okay.

So

now we see the guys backstage.

Why is Ralph here?

Why is Ralph here?

A question that people ask in any establishment.

John Bajuce, why is Ralph here at John Bajuice?

And Dennis is here in his, is that a Louis Vuitton

barber robe that he's wearing to get his makeup in?

I don't know.

It's some famous brand.

I'm too poor to know what it is, but I do.

It's very, it's very expensive.

I was not looking carefully enough but as we all know like

you know that's hot dog money right there that is hot dog vendor money

that's hot dog bulgari

so then um

dennis is like yeah you know when the girls beefing you guys stay out of it you know we got to let women handle their own business because women are women and men are men you know and um he's like i'm here to support baby mama and drew because that's family you know so we're gonna keep it positive.

So, then we go back, and Andy's like, Here we are, we're back, Drew.

This season, we watched you battle with a divorce that seems to have no end to hidden ring cameras in sight, and an ex-husband that is banished to the basement.

By the way, I think we uh we know the reason why Ralph is here because he got a free edge up.

Uh,

he's like, What?

There's free edge up in New York City.

I'm there.

So, um, Andy's like, okay, well, will you be able to sing your way out of this sad song?

Let's watch.

So it's now the Drew package.

We see everything, the basement, the lawsuit, the mom crying, saying the kids are acting up, all the greatest hits.

So Andy's like, Drew is sending the kids to therapy because her mom said that they were acting up.

And she's like, you know, you really need to get the opinion of an outsider looking in because I thought everything was fine.

But my mom's gone for a few months.

She comes back.

The kids are acting different.

But also, kids grow up and they do start smarting off to you so i i think it's kind of natural um yeah but and well well oh go ahead ralph tweeted that your mom needed to watch her mouth because after your dad's death she spent all his money and ralph had to bail her out what do you think about that tacky god ralph jesus that guy's so tacky

So Ralph.

And Drew is like, well, that was a new low.

I mean, my father was a prominent pediatrician and you're coming against his legacy.

I mean, my cousin Michael Jordan was furious, you know, and my mom had an anxiety attack.

So she's like, yeah, this is fucked up.

And Andy's like, well, there was all that.

Yeah, but to be fair, he wasn't, she, who wasn't coming after your dad's legacy.

He never said anything about your dad.

He said that your dad left her a lot of money and she spent it all.

But whatever.

I'm still on that.

But also, it's rude.

Honestly, I think it's, I think it's real fresh, as my mom would say.

That's real fresh for Ralph to say that her mom needed to shut her, watch her mouth.

Yeah.

It's a bit fresh.

Disgusting.

It's a bit fresh, Ralph.

Beyond fresh, it's fucking trash and disgusting.

And if for anything, you know, Drew, this whole like, well, sometimes I make up with him and sometimes I don't.

I don't think you can be with a guy who talks about your mom like that.

Like, he's grown up.

You don't want to be with a guy who talks about, talks to women that way, and especially a mom, women and your elders.

No, sir.

I'm the only one allowed to disrespect my mother in this relationship, sir.

So she's like, yeah, you know, I mean, it's a whole new storm because all this started to affect my mom.

And so then Andy brings up this viral clip.

Don't know, I'm sure we've all seen it because it's viral.

It's viral, everybody.

There's a viral clip supposedly of them cooking together.

And he shows a clip of it.

And they're like, just this happy, perfect couple.

And she's like, well, that was just an effort of us trying to co-parent because everybody knows true co-parenting is getting a lot of likes on TikTok.

So

it's called making an effort, Andy.

Whenever they do that bullshit, like we're so happy, it just reminds me of like their last season when they were doing that kind of like Captain and Teniel thing or whatever it was, where he had this little keyboard.

He was like toting a keyboard around everywhere and he was just smiling like, we're happier than we've ever been.

He's like, I'm so happy.

He looked like, what was that name of that Muppet?

Ralph?

Rolf.

Rolf?

Which is appropriate, actually.

You know, like, he's like, I got my keyboard.

And like, he just had that bullshit bullshit smile on his face.

Like, I'm surprised he didn't take those stakes and start trying to play the piano on them.

He's like, hey, I got a good chord on these stakes.

But the thing is, like, no one even knows whether these two are faking the happiness because everybody also thinks that they're faking the drama.

So it's like, are we faking happy, being happy or faking being sad for the cameras?

What is it?

So we see the caption.

She got upset with him because they made this happy video.

And then he makes a caption that says, didn't wear the apron, but she caught me daddy in the kitchen off camera i love this cooking thing happy no drama memorial weekend y'all be safe hashtag real life hashtag call me daddy in the kitchen and she's like so he took that moment i'm like that could have been positive but you know he used it to make it appear to be something that it it wasn't it wasn't i didn't call him daddy i didn't

And of course, Cynthia's like, you know, I honestly thought it was cute to see you guys being together, happy and not, you know, not thinking like, oh, you know, they should get back together.

together but it's just like nice to see you guys having fun together i was honestly just happy to see you guys doing something on a kitchen island it just

touches my heart

thanks cynthia for weighing in on that one and angela's like oh and living in a house with a man who can cook girl get your food let's all stop cheering on going back to abusive stalker exes like what the fuck is wrong with this cast sometimes my god like let's can we bring the bar up a little bit higher for the men it's like oh ralph what a great guy he had a cooking video with you forgive Forgive him.

Forget about the ring cams, the affairs, the disappearing to Florida, the way he's crazy abusing you, you know, like pulling you through all this divorce shit right now.

Yeah.

They all start joking about how, like, oh, he's got the sausage and everything.

And Portia's like, yeah, it's gonna be, it's gonna be a long, hard divorce.

You're gonna be dry.

He's gonna come up that staircase after midnight, you know?

Cynthia's like, or she may go downstairs.

They're like, ah, they're all like laughing.

And we're like, you guys remember that Ralph is terrible, right?

He's a monster and they're divorcing.

I don't like it.

And they're just like just joking.

Maybe they all know it's fake, though.

Cream from cheese says, Drew, the judge has given you and Ralph the weirdest court orders from having Ralph live in the basement to avoid telling the kids you're divorcing.

What the hell is that about?

Drew's like, well, I should have hired Precious.

Okay.

I can tell you that.

Precious is the best attorney in Atlanta.

That's what's happening.

And Portia's like, actually, it's normal because, by the way, when you sue for a divorce, everything's going to stay.

So I lived upstairs with my ex for months, but

it's like, which is crazy.

Is this like a normal thing in Georgia that like, if you divorce, you are like stuck in the house together?

Like, what sort of sitcom, sitcom,

like premise judgment is this?

They're like, you guys are divorced, but you must live together.

And your wacky neighbor is mandated to come over at least once per week and take stuff out of your refrigerator.

As a judge who knows the law, you will stay together.

And your new neighbor is a man with his shirt unbuttoned down to his belly button.

His name is Larry.

Okay.

Good luck.

Have a good day.

Your nosy, your other nosy neighbor, her name, I don't know, we'll just say Mrs.

Poole, will also be coming around to offer some warm advice, but also kind of get in the way.

So then Porch was like, yeah, well, that's normal.

I lived upstairs for my ex, you know, but you recently said he had a woman down there.

And Kelly's like, with you there?

And Drew's like, oh, yeah, you know, you know, I mean, when I'm there, when I'm not there, I mean, she's a girl and she's there.

Or she's like, so wait, you've seen someone on the camera in the basement, a woman?

And she goes, okay, you can get the manifesto.

And he's like, yeah, it's in the manner.

Which I think was actually, by the way, by the way, I think it's the manifest and not the manifesto.

I know.

I was like, well, did she bomb something?

My gosh.

She's like, well, if you really want to know who it is, you can always look up some of Karl Marx's best manifestos and learn about it.

He's like, like round he's having sex with a terrorist a terrorist in the basement

you can get the manifesto guys don't worry

so what she means is that you're drew drew's new girlfriend is really against the pet insurance agent uh company uh what am i trying to say industry she's really against pet and just uh insurance abuse and uh she's got a whole manifesto so

well the way i found out her name is i looked up to see what the unabomber had written written about her.

And I know it was a few hundred pages, but I finally saw the name Shirley.

And I was like, aha, that's her.

Shirley.

I would love if it was a girl named Shirley.

Shirley and Ralph.

It probably is.

So Drew is saying that, yeah, it's a gay to community.

Seportia's like.

So you saw the picture of the driver's license.

And she's like, I saw the name.

And I looked her up on Instagram.

And when I went to lunch at Anaya's school, she was there.

Everyone's like,

and I was like, is someone going to make a fatal attraction reference?

Because as we all know, from my childhood trauma, the Glenn Close goes to the school to pick up the child, was shot in my elementary school.

And I was not chosen to be an extra.

And I needed this moment right now.

And they didn't even mention it.

So I was sad.

Can we ask questions?

Like, why was the girlfriend at school at lunch?

That's weird.

But then someone said it was the, was it the teacher?

Because Angelica goes, it's the teacher.

And so was it the teacher?

Is it one of the teachers?

I don't know.

We didn't find out.

But she's like, I like that they're both stalking each other.

They're like, they're equally stalking each other.

Drew is going down to the gatehouse to be like, who came into this gate?

Who came in at like 7,657 tonight?

But then

the lady is like going to the school to stalk that way.

And they're both like circling each other.

Like, I'm going to stalk you even more.

I'm going to stalk your child.

I'm going to stalk your nails.

I'm going to find out everything there is to know about Drew by seeing what she puts in the kids' lunch.

It's like lunchable.

What a lazy, lazy witch I can steal you away easily child welcome to the world of tuna sandwiches wait a minute aren't you the girl for the manifesto

what the question is is this woman the teacher at the school if it was the teacher at the school because Angela asks is it the like it's the teacher and like if it was the teacher it's hilarious that drew says i went down to the school and there she was it's like yeah because she was a teacher

like make it sound like she's a stalker stalking the child but like she's actually at work it's like drew is actually the stalker at that point.

And she's like, and she mean-mugged me.

And then she approached me and was like, what's your name, ma'am?

And I said, I don't have to give you my name.

And she says, you do because we have to log everyone who comes in here.

And I said, oh, so you have a manifesto at this school also?

She said, actually, I'm just, we don't like to have strangers around the children.

Please tell me your name, ma'am.

I said, you don't get to know my name because I am an actress.

She says, seriously, we're going to call the police, ma'am.

I said, you don't call the police on me because I played a police officer once many years ago in a pilot that never aired.

So, ha.

And then I left.

I was just trying to bring back her math book that she forgot in class.

I don't want to hear it.

So

Kelly's like, well, actually, I was really, actually hoping that you and I could have a bit, we could have hit it off a little bit more.

Wait, is this Angela?

Who are they talking about now?

Oh, no, Drew.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

From man from Sin Family Values says, why don't any of the women in the group show any compassion for Drew during her divorce?

Did you not just see the cooking video?

It's hard to have compassion about someone's divorce.

And also, I do have compassion about her divorce, but I mean, when, but I can see how it would be hard for people when there's so many mixed signals.

You know, I need better branding on this divorce.

I can't have like Ralph is the worst stalker in the world and then have like, oh my God, now we're making waffles together.

Isn't this fun, America?

No, it's not.

I need you to get rid of Ralph and cut the cord, please.

Yes.

So, Kelly, Kelly's basically like, I was like, really actually hoping that you and I could have like hit it off a little bit more.

I mean, I think towards the end, it was just kind of like more of like a connection thing.

You know, that's what I would have liked.

And Angela's like making faces at Drew, like, oh God, this bitch, whatever.

And Kelly's like, don't give me that face because Drew's doing the face back.

And

basically, Kelly's like, she's like, Angela, stay out of it.

This is a divorced woman conversation.

And Angela's like, yeah, I don't want any parts.

I don't want any parts.

So Drew's like, well, I mean, it sounds good.

And I appreciate you saying that today.

But I feel like, you know, you didn't really give us a chance because you were just like throwing these things out and being loud and spicy.

And I'm like, girl, you don't even know me.

And then throwing out that liar narrative.

And Kelly's like, I didn't even hear anything.

And she goes, well, you said that I'm a liar, but, you know, you felt like you were, it felt like you were trying for a moment.

And I do think that Kelly obviously watched, you know, previous seasons and came in here ready to go for people that she was ready to go for because everybody that Kelly came for in the beginning, it was like, what?

You, you've been here five seconds.

What do you like?

Did that man steal someone's husband?

And then all the Drew stuff.

It's like, you just got here, ma'am.

So Kelly's like, I wasn't trying for a moment.

I never need to try for a moment, which is why I have my own videographer, an entire Glam team on retainer, and a man named Paris with extremely high-waisted short shorts that used to follow me around.

When you came to my Balmain event and you were there, Bon Mon, I should say, Balman, Balman,

and we were at the bag, you said you purchased something and did not purchase anything.

And Drew's like, I did.

She's like, You did not.

She goes, I have purchased multiple things.

I mean, not at the event and not at Balman and maybe not even this year, but I have purchased things in the past in my life.

So please don't lie on me.

So Kelly's like, You did not buy anything.

So Drew says, No, I talked to the shopper and he found the size.

So we were texting and he found the right size.

And Kelly's like, okay, you did, but like you didn't, like you're supposed to buy it at the event.

And Shamia says, you know,

the things that you buy at the event go to, like proceeds go to osteogenesis imperfecta.

And Kelly's like, you know, yeah, you didn't buy anything there.

And Drew's like, well, I mean, I purchased it at some point in time.

time at a different place and I showed you a receipt from something I had purchased and you know we had a real conversation and we didn't go into the part about the foundation.

And I could have made sure that it did or I could have made a donation to your foundation if you had just told me, even though I was at a charity event for your foundation and knew that I hadn't actually supported your foundation at that moment in time, but I did buy myself something.

Well, it sounds like she's saying I, they didn't have my size.

So I contacted the shopper and he said, he'll get my size and they got my size.

And so I bought it.

But then couldn't she say, okay, well, if they didn't credit that to your foundation, it should have been because I technically ordered it that night.

But, you know, then again, it's like, we're trying to read too much.

I'm trying to read too much into something that Drew is saying, which is probably

at best a half-truth.

I think that normally I would be with you on this one.

Normally, I'd be like, yeah, she probably thought, oh, since I contacted the buyer, I sort of counted under the umbrella of the whole event, but it's Drew.

And Drew is like.

She's kind of like a crook and she like, she's so slippery with her words.

Like, no, I bought it.

I'm like, yeah, but did you donate or did you make sure those funds were being donated?

I don't think so.

Yeah, I like Shamia.

And, you know, the proceeds were supposed to go to osteogenesis imperfecta.

So

they didn't.

Yeah.

I just like that.

I just like hearing that used in a housewife's fight.

The proceeds were supposed to go to osteogenesis imperfecta.

So,

all right, all right.

More importantly, Drew, are you or are you not Michael Jordan's cousin?

And Drew's like, well, in my head, absolutely.

I mean, it was a joke she keeps saying it's like a joke joke I wish they had rolled back the clip because when she said it she said it absolutely seriously and she was full online and did not think she's gonna get caught out on it that was she was not joking whatsoever she's like guys my name is Drew Jordan it was a joke and they're like yeah it wasn't a joke so um dick from copper says shamil why was it okay for you to twist drew's words regarding polar but angela was held to a higher standard when she relayed her conversation with Shamia back to Portia.

I was like, mentally, I was like, what were these things again?

And they showed like,

this is too much for me.

Okay.

And so, yeah.

Portia basically is like, yeah, it was cringy because like when, of course, when I watched it, it didn't piss me off.

But the way that Shamia

brought the information to me, which of course, in this case, it was Drew saying that like, you know, this money could help Pilar go to college.

And Shamia brought it to Portia saying like, Drew says that she's paying for Pilar's tuition, which is not what Drew said at all.

This one, I'm firmly not on Shamia's side about this.

And, you know, Shamia is still standing in her truth about this.

She's still like being like, no, that's what happened.

That's, you meant it to be shady and you said it shady.

It's like, listen, I'm going to come down on Drew really whenever I can because it's, because she's hilarious with how much she lies and is self-serving.

But in this case, Drew did not say it in a shady way.

She said it in a nice way.

Well, she was, she was being shady, shady, but it wasn't anything that I would have been pissed about.

I mean, it was like typical housewife shade.

They're like, well, you know, she doesn't like you working with her.

And she's like, well, she may not like it, but all the sales from this album could pay for Pilar's College because it's going to be so successful.

You know, of course, she's being, it's like a little shade, but I don't think it's like Porsche's destitute and she'll never be able to pay for Pilar's College without my album.

You know?

Yeah, Shamia brought, like, unless there was stuff we didn't see, but Shamia definitely brought that information to Porsche in a much more incendiary way.

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap.

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