#2940 The Valley S2E15 Part One: Mad Jax Fury Toad

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Speaker 1 Watch what crappiness.

Speaker 1 Watch what craft is. Who cares what happens? But there's so much good crap.

Speaker 1 Hello, and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is a bespeckled and delicious Ronnie Carom.

Speaker 1 Hi, Ronnie. How is it going?

Speaker 1 How are you?

Speaker 1 I'm fabulous. We have a big day of podcasting today.

Speaker 1 we are going to be recapping the season finale of the valley that rhymes and then later today we are going to recap the season finale of next gen new york city and earlier today we uh went on to julia cunningham's podcast or i'm sorry radio show which will be i think in uh about next week is going to be where

Speaker 1 it was

Speaker 1 yeah so keep an ear out for that one we had so much fun talking with julia we love julia also

Speaker 1 Huge thank you to everyone who showed up for our very first ever Amazon live last night. I cannot tell you how much fun that we had.

Speaker 1 I think we, like for me, I unlocked a part of me that I didn't even know existed, which is someone like my, I, I unlocked my inner Stacey from Potomac, essentially. I'm like, it turns out.

Speaker 1 I really enjoy talking about products in front of an audience. And I had the most fun talking about sheet pans and Dutch ovens and all that fun stuff.

Speaker 1 So it was super, super fun doing it with you, Ronnie. And it was great to see how they are commenting.
Yeah. Yeah, it was fun and fun reading the comments and stuff.

Speaker 1 We're going to do them the next couple of weeks, Mondays, the next two Mondays at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Amazon Live.
We'll put a link up every day when we go up.

Speaker 1 So just check our Instagram for the link. But we should, you should see us on Amazon Live.
But if you want a link, just check our

Speaker 1 Insta.

Speaker 1 By the way, my glasses are because I'm still waiting for my eyes to heal up. They're mostly healed, but look, I'll show you a little.
They're mostly healed, but I'm bruised.

Speaker 1 So I'm just, I'm just wearing the glasses so I don't don't trigger people with bruising. But they're almost back.
Hopefully by next week, I'll be glasses free and won't look like such a douchebag.

Speaker 1 Oh, you don't look, you look great.

Speaker 1 This is like your Hunter S. Thompson era.
It's wonderful. I'm so into it.

Speaker 1 But yeah, so lots of between the sunglasses and the Amazon Live and the radio shows. It's been a busy week around here and we're having a great time.
But let's get into it.

Speaker 1 Unless there are any other announcements. Oh, patreon.com slash watchworkhappens.
Of course, never forget the Patreon.

Speaker 1 Uh, right now, come on, and uh, you get access to all sorts of fun things, like, for instance, grapples on demand, where you can watch Ryan's sunglasses. So, do that, Craps on Demand.

Speaker 1 Go check all the Love Island recaps. We will reboot next week with new bonus episodes, probably about, I don't know, our lives for a while.
So, join us, join us for that next week.

Speaker 1 So, here we are with The Valley season finale of the Valley Valley finale. This new

Speaker 1 resentment. Mmm.

Speaker 1 Oh, deep title for that episode.

Speaker 1 This episode, this Zen party, is brought to you by our favorite store in Orange County, Zen Sations.

Speaker 1 So everything starts off with Janet. Janet shows up at Lala's house with Portos, which is a local Cuban bakery here that are obsessed with.
Love Portos.

Speaker 1 Yes, I love Portos. I've been ordering from there a lot.
And I can't believe she brought that to Lala's house because Lala is not eating Portos. okay

Speaker 1 everything is fried and um greased and carbed but um nice try i mean i figure you know that's what a person like janet would do show up to someone like lala's house with carbs yeah lala's like i don't eat at portos i eat at porjo's get what i said there

Speaker 1 um it's my post-divorce journeys

Speaker 1 um lala's new baby is here named sosa which i don't know if that's for the basketball player isn't that a no uh baseball Baseball player. Sammy Sosa.

Speaker 1 Sammy Sosa. So the baseball name, or is it just

Speaker 1 a fall away from so-so?

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that is that is the most Lala name. I mean, only someone named Lala would then be like, My name is Lala.
My daughter's name is Sasa.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Lala, Sasa. The other one.
The other one who looks like Rand.

Speaker 1 Sasa.

Speaker 1 So Sasa. So Sasa's there.

Speaker 1 Sasa. Sapra.
Sepra. Our next kit's going to be named Sepra.

Speaker 1 So Michelle and Brittany come over, and you know, because you just hear, oh, I hear her, I hear her. A little baby.
It's a little baby. Here's a little baby.

Speaker 1 Here's little chicken wing, aren't you? Oh,

Speaker 1 Brittany, please stop dipping my baby some bitches.

Speaker 1 Hey, you know what that baby looks like? You know what that baby looks like? A little bridge.

Speaker 1 A little hill. So she brings me a little bit of a little bit of

Speaker 1 Chicken feet. You ever put a chicken feet on a bridge that looks like a baby?

Speaker 1 Do you forget what they look like when they're little babies? They're a little baby.

Speaker 1 I want to have a

Speaker 1 baby. You know, I always said it one in the on, but I know that something that Aaron really wants is to have several hive, if you will.
So I said, maybe.

Speaker 1 but just looking at somebody else have a baby, it's very sweet. And it gives me a feeling.
Look, here I am, Michelle Lally, having an emotion.

Speaker 1 Look at me. I am emoting right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Michelle, we all know what Aaron wants, and it is a bag of Coke. Okay.
I don't, Michelle's like, look at me. It is my era of better decisions.

Speaker 1 You're considering have a baby with a man who has an entire honeyline based off of cocaine terminology and named his dog Kilo. Okay.
Oh, rethink. Now, does that mean parents can't do Coke?

Speaker 1 Of course not. If there are parents out there doing Coke, you guys, you go for it.
But listen, this is your second go-round. Aim higher, Michelle, for fuck's sake.

Speaker 1 Aim higher than someone who looks like they just stumbled into a road and was about to get run over.

Speaker 1 We've all seen that movie. We have all seen the movie of the guy running away from someone and then they step into the road and they're like, oh, and they get run over.
Like, that's his face.

Speaker 1 His face is like he has headlights in his face. Yeah.
Not even a deer in the headlights. It's just a

Speaker 1 they're catching up. And Brittany's like, well, it's just been disaster after disaster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, James who sent me off. You guys will be real proud of me.
I told him off. I'll let him have it.
Brittany, you've been letting him have it for years. You'll be back together within a year.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I was like, I'm good. Do you think she will? I hope she doesn't.
I hope that. I'm not going to predict that.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take that back and hope better for Brittany. I'm going to give it two years.

Speaker 1 So Brittany is like, well, I was going, I was like, I'm going to spend you you to start paying for half a cruise dollar doctor meals and then stuff like that.

Speaker 1 And then he freaked out of me and was like, Well, I'm going to go after Alimony. And I was like, I don't even know who Allie is.
And why don't I show?

Speaker 1 Well, I know Allie Larder. She's cool.
She's a nice actress, but Ali Money, don't know her. Anyway, I'll win you because I'm going to make you because you make more money than me.
That's what he said.

Speaker 1 And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow, I really had him really rang him a new one.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, you'd like make more money because a cocaine addiction is expensive.

Speaker 1 So I suggest you give that up. Cocaine, right, everybody? Michelle's like, I can get you a Vameli discount.

Speaker 1 Ever since I had Chris,

Speaker 1 I've always been able to protect and make sure there was nothing around. So now that our Satan's getting older, like, you shouldn't be doing this after you have a child or whatsoever.

Speaker 1 I'm like, well, maybe you shouldn't also be on this show, but that's another issue.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1 Just get away from Jax. Just block Jax and stop taking Jax's calls because at this point, it's just, that man is dangerous.
Oh Oh my God. He's always a mediator.
Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 And especially the one that you found because I love that lawyer. What was her name? Like Nas.
Nas.

Speaker 1 She's like, I love her.

Speaker 1 What? Tell me. You need to go.
You need to go right now.

Speaker 1 So Brittany's like, yeah, I ain't letting Cruz go over there anytime soon. He's a bachelor of paying.

Speaker 1 I feel like there's nasty girls there. And until the divorce is finalized, we have like drug dancing rules in place.
I don't feel comfortable with Cruz going over there.

Speaker 1 And Lala's like, and he's okay, but that's, and she's like, yeah, I mean, he doesn't really have a choice.

Speaker 1 So, um, La, they're all like, Yeah, we got him by the balls. Yeah, so now they talked about uh the Hawaii trip, and uh, Janet's like, Well,

Speaker 1 I mean, Hawaii, that was rough. And Brittany's like, Yeah, well, I had a fun time, but they don't like you, Janet.
Oh, they're hurting.

Speaker 1 They ask Scott, and Janet's like, Kristen and Luke's. And so, uh, yeah,

Speaker 1 Janet's like, She called me a whore.

Speaker 1 Wow, Janet. So that seems like a little bit of a possibility based on.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, I interrupted. I'm assuming it's during one of Mariposa's,

Speaker 1 you know, mid-cruise flip outs. Like, I will not let you go after Nia and Danny, the most wonderful people on planet Earth.
You are not allowed to.

Speaker 1 But I'm not sure, by the way, calling her a whore.

Speaker 1 I'm sure.

Speaker 1 I don't remember either, but I also like that it's, I would not be surprised if it like never made it to air or if it did make it to air and it did not. I did not keep it in my brain.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't be surprised either, but I also wouldn't be surprised if Janet's just making that shit up because it's Janet.

Speaker 1 Well, our note-taker also did not remember. And Shelby wrote that she said she went back and looked it up in previous notes.
And that was not in the show if it happened. So

Speaker 1 it looks like Janet might be fabricating because we will take Shelby's word over Janet's any day. Yeah.
So Janet's like, she threatened to beat me up and my baby.

Speaker 1 She threatened to murder a baby, a baby. She called my baby a whore and threatened to beat it up.
And she called me a fan. And Lala's like, well, I mean, you know, broken clocks, et cetera.

Speaker 1 And Michelle's like, I was like, hold on, everybody. I was like, galma down.

Speaker 1 I also remember that happening. Michelle Lally, the great mediator.
Everyone, calm down. I think maybe you were telling that to your boyfriend whose eyes were like bugging out.

Speaker 1 Oh, Janet's like, yeah. And I was like, okay, Kristen, I would love for you to hit me.
I would love nothing more than for jail to take away your engagement ring for them.

Speaker 1 By the way, you can't take away mine because it's sewn on. I sewed it on.

Speaker 1 I have Jason's ring nailed to his fucking bones. If he ever takes that off, he's going to lose his finger.
I machine gun Kelly that shit onto his.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I was like, I would love for you to look at your ring and only think of me in prison.

Speaker 1 The prison you go to when you call people a whore.

Speaker 1 By the way, Lala, do you mind signing my ring real quick? Thanks.

Speaker 1 So Lala's like, yeah, y'all's group is messy. I'm like,

Speaker 1 you're the one who's trying to get on the show, Lala. So Michelle's like, yeah, feels very crazy to me like every day.
No, I tried. Janet, here's Janet's big moment.
I tried. I really did this summer.

Speaker 1 I included her, Kristen. And what did it get me? Where did, where did it get me?

Speaker 1 Rumors about my husband my husband and I hope every time she looks at that ring she sees a reflection of me I'm like okay like this is like you're trying to do some sort of a Lannis Morris at moment like and every time you scratch your nails and someone else is back I hope you feel my Dave and Buster's tickets I hope you do I invited her to Dave

Speaker 1 and Buster's

Speaker 1 Dave and Buster's in Carson City

Speaker 1 and she could treat me like this. That is the best location of the Davenbuster.
You had to drive two hours in the sun.

Speaker 1 How could she threaten to murder my whore baby?

Speaker 1 I want you to know that I'm happy for you. I want nothing more than you to go to jail for one night and have your ring taken away from you for one single day.

Speaker 1 I am screenshotting this because I don't want to show the date or whatever, because I don't want people to show up. But

Speaker 1 a friend of ours is going to Janet's birthday party this year. She's friends with Janet.
I don't want to mess this up. Hold on.

Speaker 1 Let me, let me, let me change the orientation of this so I can show it on the screen. I don't know why I find this so fucking funny.
I just do. It's just so Janet, this birthday invitation.

Speaker 1 Okay, I took out the date, everybody. Sorry for the wait, but this is Janet.
Come celebrate Janet's birthday the literal only way she knows how.

Speaker 1 Dave and

Speaker 1 Busters, everybody. That's my thing.
I'm a wacky person. I go to Dave and Busters and it says cocktail attire encouraged because Dave and Busters can be fancy too.
You can jam it. Okay, everyone.

Speaker 1 Dave and Busters money. Get ready.
Get ready for that Dave and Busters time at Janet. All the threes of you just batting down the hatches to get to that Dave and Crash Janet's party.

Speaker 1 I know. I wonder how many people we're going to get begging for the date.
Just begging for the date. And if you bring your gay friend, you can get Jason getting extra aggro to him.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 then

Speaker 1 she's a Dave and Busters, though.

Speaker 1 She is moving up in the Dave and Busters world.

Speaker 1 Well, remember, Beyonce did a Dave and Buster's birthday party. Don't forget.
So I'm going to hate to drag Beyonce into this, but as long as

Speaker 1 she's in the beehives.

Speaker 1 What did you say? Who did it first?

Speaker 1 Beyonce. Well, there you go.
So now we go to Jax's condo and Luke and Jason are there. And I love these shots of Jason's condo.
A lot of reasons, because first, it's four stories. Okay.

Speaker 1 They have to go to the fourth story to go outside. And they're all huffing and puffing.
And Jack's like, look at it. I can't believe Jax can even do it with his limited nasal strength.

Speaker 1 But God bless him. He makes it to the top.
And then the other reason I love it is because the first thing the editors do is show a plane flying overhead, which

Speaker 1 is the James Kennedy treatment. And I just thought that was so sweet.
It's like that southwest plane, like it's just like

Speaker 1 when that shows up, that is like a David Lynch detail.

Speaker 1 That's like, this is the sign of Bob coming to possess like someone, you know, like, like, this is like the, this is the sign of there's danger in this home. There's an abuser in this home.
Beware.

Speaker 1 Because, yeah, we see that plane. And, but, but also, like, seriously, it really is just a post-productions way of saying, like, yeah, this guy thinks he has it made, but he lives under an airport.

Speaker 1 He lives under a flight pattern right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he will never be happy.
He will never find the peace that he's looking for. I think your first take was good.

Speaker 1 I think production's like, abuser, an abuser lives here because everyone else lives in the valley and they don't get that. And trust me, we all have the planes in the valley.
We all have them.

Speaker 1 We had a party over here for Watch What Crappens after our tour. And people were, you know, a bunch of Bravo commentators and stuff were here.

Speaker 1 And planes, when a plane would fly overhead, everyone would be like, oh my God, it's like James Kennedy's house. You know,

Speaker 1 like a Bravo thing at this point. But it also is just like, that's them trolling because like, it's them saying,

Speaker 1 look at this cheap ass place that they live in. Because yes, you're right.
Everyone in the valley lives under, essentially under the Burbank airport flight path.

Speaker 1 But to highlight that there's a plane over your place, it means the suggestion is, yeah, you think you're living at large, but we all know you live close to that airport because that's what you could afford, you know?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 like, whether or not that's true, that's what they've decided, the narrative that they're going to push on this show. And I think it's wonderful.
Good job, post watch. He's like, look, everybody,

Speaker 1 my place is, you know, it's decorated. You know, it's finally decorated.
So I have people over. It was like a used condom over a lamp.
Like, nice job.

Speaker 1 The chip and Joanna's do this. Like, damn.
What tis, what task rabbit? Maybe I should call it a Tisk Rabbit. What Task Rabbit came in and decorated this place?

Speaker 1 Just like random, like sports memorabilia on the wall and like the

Speaker 1 room, Cruz's room with like the kids stuff. I was like, Jax, 100% did not do any of this stuff.
I want to know who was commissioned to do this. There's still wood art on the wall, like word art.

Speaker 1 It's just a big plank of wood that says come.

Speaker 1 Come as you are.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Jax is like, yeah, you know, I want to call it a bachelor pad, but you know, I mean, I guess it's a bachelor pad. So yeah, it's a bachelor pad.

Speaker 1 So he's showing everyone Cruz's room and he's like, yeah, I gave him the big room. No, you didn't.
That's not the big room. That's a tiny little room.
Don't tell me that you gave.

Speaker 1 I hate Jax. Can Jax just be done now? I mean, he is done, right?

Speaker 1 Well, he will be, but you have to sit through three more weeks of this. So then, yeah, he's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 my main thing is like, how good can this be for Cruz? Like, what is the best environment for my little boy? How many flights of stairs can he fall down while I'm up on the roof drinking beers?

Speaker 1 I was thinking about his cruise, which is why I got a four-story house.

Speaker 1 I just want to know, like, what is the best place for my son? And I thought, you know what? Many staircases, no yard. Perfect.
Yeah. And And he's like, look, I even got a beautiful rooftop.

Speaker 1 It overlooks the city. It overlooks apartments.
And

Speaker 1 it's next to Schwartz's place, you know? So, and I got my best friend next to me close to me to help.

Speaker 1 Doing great.

Speaker 1 We don't need to see this show's version of Wilson in the form of Schwartz, who can't even do the Wilson right because we see his full face.

Speaker 1 Like, we like, that is not a value add to be like, oh, yeah. And I have, I share a fence with, with Tom Schwartz.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's like literally, that's like the part on house hunters where they put an X.
Like, this is the downside. Like, well, it's close to work, easy to commute, close to center of town.

Speaker 1 But I do share a fence with Tom Schwartz. Like, I think we have to cross that house off the list.

Speaker 1 You know, I just, I want to be close to town, but I also really need to have a fence where there's someone that can just say this occasionally. Women, am I right?

Speaker 1 Well, even though the house is 35 minutes from work and does not have electricity, is not furnished and is $250,000 over budget, I really like that it's not attached to Schwartz.

Speaker 1 So we're going to go for that one.

Speaker 1 So he's telling everybody, yeah, you know, like I'm at my house the other day, Bertie's yelling and screaming at me, you know, and she's like literally texting me every day since, like, talking to me about the house, talking to me about like what flowers she's putting in, you know, like one day you're hot, the next day you're cold.

Speaker 1 Like, what do you want me to do? Like, you don't want me to be around? Then fine. Stop texting me every fucking day.

Speaker 1 Okay, then, like, pay her what you owe her and, like, do what you're supposed to do so she doesn't have to text you and say, hey, Dyex, I found a kilo buried under some flowers. Is it yours?

Speaker 1 You better get away from my baby. You better get away from my chicken wing over here.

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Speaker 1 So Jason's like, um, so would you say that she's breadcrumbing you? Yeah, I've been reading BuzzFeed. I know what breadcrumbing is.
You think she's breadcrumbing you?

Speaker 1 And he's like, that's exactly what it is. She's breadcrumbing me.
I'm like, she's literally not breadcrumbing you. Like breadcrumbing is, I think, a dating term, right?

Speaker 1 Isn't that like when you are like you're leading someone on that they like this is just this is just Britney being messy. Jax is the breadcrumber, but Jax has the loaf.

Speaker 1 He has the loaf of the the shitty stale sourdough that he's scattering across the valley for everyone and then he's snorting it up himself he can't even do hansel and gretel correctly yeah he can't be breadcrumbed because he just snorted them up you know his his body has probably learned to metabolize that

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 so and also jason shut the up jason over here like turning it around trying to stand up for this abusive piece of shit is she breadcrumbing you yeah everybody wants jason back everybody needs jax couchy back jason i just

Speaker 1 here's the thing that really bothers me with Jason. And this is where, like, this is one of our listeners brought this up on Crappy Hour.

Speaker 1 And I really have not been able to get it out of my mind, which is that

Speaker 1 Jason and Janet are very righteous about Danny technically performing sexual assault.

Speaker 1 And yet they seem to not be so technical about Jax. And

Speaker 1 well, yeah, that's what we've been saying for the whole year. I mean, what the hell?

Speaker 1 He's like, their morals are like, oh my God, we're so outraged at the butt grab, but you're fine with your abusive piece of shit, friend.

Speaker 1 And now it's now making it turning it around and making it sound like Britney, Brittany's fucking with him.

Speaker 1 Loser. Loser behavior, Jason.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So yeah, Jax is saying that he's like baby proofing because he's going to make, he wants Brittany to feel comfortable to have crews in this MC Escher townhouse. And so, you know, Jesse's like,

Speaker 1 well, Luke has proposed that Jax install a universal camera that they can all watch the baby with. Not a range.
Please do not get a name-brand camera. I don't want her to be offended.

Speaker 1 This needs to be universal. Okay.
Just get some knockoff Amazon shit. No, I think it literally is like, let's hit up the people, our partners at NBC Universal and see if they've got a camera.

Speaker 1 So then Jesse's like, also, baby gates.

Speaker 1 Jesse's like, I'm just going to put this one out here. Maybe she'll feel more comfortable if you put some baby gates in front of one of your many staircases that your child can fall down.

Speaker 1 He's like, yeah, yeah, baby gates. Baby gates.
And Lick's like, well, it's just a test.

Speaker 1 Like, I think she's more concerned about your lifestyle you know like you have to prove to her you're not partying you're not like doing extracurricular with random girls up here it's like i would never come up with her with a girl like what what what what what with him like and i expect the same from her like what me girls and him in the same room jax you know like goes to the fucking playground with the baby just to hit on moms yeah he's that one he's that one

Speaker 1 uh so luke's like by the way uh so it seems like you've got some sort of problem with Danny. Like, what's your problem just between you? Like, what's what's going on? Like, where'd this come from?

Speaker 1 And Jax is like, yeah, well, I missed half the season. So I need to pick a fight with someone.
So I've decided Danny is the easy, easy target, you know?

Speaker 1 I mean, in my opinion, I'm allowed to have my opinion. I mean, Nia called me.
No joke, not an exaggeration. Literally, I don't even know what you're going to say.
I already know it's an exaggeration.

Speaker 1 She's called me at least five times, screaming and yelling, throwing things. She lit her house on fire.
She was so mad. No exaggeration.

Speaker 1 Saying, you know, because, oh, your husband is drunk and can't even walk out of the bar because I've called her and told her that. And so she comes in.

Speaker 1 It's like, Danny, I told you not to act like this. This is how we know that Jax is lying because Nia would never say, Danny, I told you not to act like this.
She would say, Daniel, don't do that.

Speaker 1 Daniel, shh. Daniel, protect your peas.
Daniel, where's your peas?

Speaker 1 Hey, bartender, can I please have an order of Daniel's peace? Daniel. Shoot this.
Shoot it, Daniel.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he's going. He's ranting and raving.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I can't have him over here because I have alcohol He can't be a rant alcohol He's an alcoholic my partners had to drag him out They had to drag him out of the bar.

Speaker 1 He's just so so drunk, you know

Speaker 1 and He's like yeah, you know and then like he's fucking he's feeling girls up in my bar

Speaker 1 I mean at my bar feeling girls up and my first

Speaker 1 bar is there isn't the bar there for you and your friends to feel up girls

Speaker 1 It's like the poorest version of Epstein's plane that

Speaker 1 that bar

Speaker 1 It's just just like a place for jax to feel to feel up jax and his old weird partner friends who are now gonna follow him around i guess for every scene to uh feel up like young new girls like starstruck in la you know

Speaker 1 uh i mean i do believe that that danny was kicked out of that bar but i don't think jax needs to be the messenger of this i think jax is just in no place to suddenly take a moral high ground about this at all

Speaker 1 so uh jason's like i mean i think that like part of what Jack, what's getting Jax worked up about Danny is the fact that Jax has made mistakes.

Speaker 1 And when he makes mistakes, those mistakes are discussed amongst the entire group. And like, meanwhile, Danny makes mistakes.
And if anyone calls him out, they get attacked.

Speaker 1 Especially if you call them out for sexual assault. So it's understandable, though, why he'd be frustrated.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Jason. Nobody's called Danny out.
You guys have made sure that Danny is called out in every single episode. And now, look, he's using Janet-coded language.
He's like, you get attacked.

Speaker 1 You get attacked if you even call one person out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean look Danny is no angel and I do think that he has gotten a very friendly edit because despite everything, everyone's really still on his side. But like I think

Speaker 1 I still think he's got a lot of default. I think he's gotten an edit that's shown him showing up and apologizing, which is something that we don't really see from Jax ever.
And he does apologize.

Speaker 1 Multiple times. They've dragged him across the coals for this multiple times.
He's apologized multiple times.

Speaker 1 No, he's gotten a friendly edit. I think he's gotten a friendly edit in this sense.
Yes, he has apologized, but they could have really edited this season to be like, we're all concerned about Danny.

Speaker 1 What's going on with Danny? They could have really made him look like he had a big, big, big, big, big problem. And they, they did not focus on that.
And that's okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, maybe that also wasn't there to focus on. But like,

Speaker 1 I think that, I think

Speaker 1 Danny, I mean, Danny clearly has stuff going on. Like, he got thrown out of the bar.
Even if it was Jax, he got thrown in the bar. He grew up, dropped his cast members.
Like, he's

Speaker 1 sneaking drinks in on camera. Like, he made comments about, like,

Speaker 1 these girls. I got we just for blonde because I mean, it's like, all right,

Speaker 1 but there are such worse things. He did that.
No one heard him do that.

Speaker 1 Well, but either way, it still could have seen

Speaker 1 a whole bunch of people.

Speaker 1 They're fucking full of shit with Danny, this whole thing. They did do the whole thing that you're talking about, where they're like, Danny has a problem.
You guys, what if Danny is on?

Speaker 1 they've been doing it the whole season it's been all edited in there the only difference i think is danny has handled it well and he's apologized and went to therapy over it i mean for christ's sake that's something you don't see from jax

Speaker 1 i mean he'd handled it better than jax for sure but like i i still think it was it was it would i'm not saying it was covered up and i'm not saying it was minimized i'm just saying i think the focus of the show is on they've got bigger fish to fry and i think that danny like it's like other reality shows like this would have been been really, really front and center.

Speaker 1 Like Danny's stuff would have been really front and center and it hasn't been. So that's where I think it's been friendly and that has really been the only plot line this whole season.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, I think it's been front and center.

Speaker 1 I think the difference is you've got a cokehead who's abusive and threw a table at his wife to give her a black fucking leg and had to be dragged off by production to some mental facility who's still going off and attacking people and trying to get controls of the camera and sending abusive texts, rage texts, and stalking this woman on national TV.

Speaker 1 And Jason's sitting here supporting that, but they're all fine with making Danny sound like this fall down alcoholic who needs to be locked away. It's just so fucking hypocritical and gross.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not that Danny, Danny. Of course, Danny was disgusting for what he did, getting wasted and feeling up his friends.
Like, that's horrible.

Speaker 1 But the guy apologizing with therapy, I just don't see, I just don't, I can't even

Speaker 1 disgusting. Because they're not even, I know, I'm just, they're not even bringing up Jax.
Like, Jax is fine. They're like, get a camera and some baby gates.
It'll be fine.

Speaker 1 But Danny, they're like cart him away burn him at the stake break his legs off

Speaker 1 I'm and I just want to clarify I'm not saying that Jax is like right on this I'm just saying that like Danny I definitely I think that Danny

Speaker 1 on another season where you didn't have someone as monstrous as Jax

Speaker 1 I think Bravo sure as hell would have had

Speaker 1 Like Danny would have been it would have been even more centered. He would have been first seed at that reunion.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you I think we have monsters like Jax And Jax is, Jax knows he's the monster, which is why he's trying to push the attention onto Danny, by the way.

Speaker 1 So I'm not condoning anything Jax is saying. I'm just saying that like, I think Danny's pretty lucky, to be honest, because I think that like there are bigger boogeymen on this show, deservedly so.

Speaker 1 And while Jax may be trying to put it all back onto Danny, but it's like, no, Jax, you are really the problem here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but no one says that.

Speaker 1 No, no one does. That's what's

Speaker 1 joke about it in their confessionals. But But that's what puts it into like a hard, hard place to even talk about it because it's like, oh, standing up for Danny.

Speaker 1 It's not standing up for what Danny did. That's crazy.
I would never do that. It's just the show makes you so fucking crazy because it lets Jax come in and gaslight everybody and the audience.

Speaker 1 And then the cast just stands around and says nothing. Nobody says anything except maybe step away, Jax.
You know, Kristen steps in and makes him step away at least. But geez.

Speaker 1 But I also would have liked, honestly, jumping forward to that moment, I would have liked Kristen to have come at Jax the way she came at Janet.

Speaker 1 I felt like that, like, she, like, she was when, when Janet was hurling accusations in Hawaii, Kristen was like fiery. She was like, absolutely not.
But when Jax did it, she was like, okay, step away.

Speaker 1 She was almost like considerate. Like, you've had too much.
You're being too angry right now.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, Kristen, you should look into Jax the same way too. You know, well, you're different.
You're tripping differently than you treat,

Speaker 1 you know. Well, she shouldn't be friends with,

Speaker 1 you know, people that you hate and and that are like trying to like come after you for two years in a row.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I don't think, I think that speaks to another flaw, which is that like

Speaker 1 she should also, she should be divorcing Jax the way she divorced Janet, too, if you ask me. Personally, yeah.
Well, yeah. So anyway, so

Speaker 1 there are just Luke, Jax is on this ridiculous tarot about Danny and everything. And Luke is saying that Danny hasn't had a drink in three weeks and didn't drink at all in Hawaii.

Speaker 1 And Schwartz is like, well, because Jack's like, Well, I don't believe that. And Schwartz is like, Well, you know what? He's putting in the work, you know.
Do you understand that concept?

Speaker 1 Jax is like, I don't understand what that means to put in the work. I only understand symbolic gestures.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Jack's like, Yeah, you believe that? You believe that? And he's like, Absolutely. And they're like, Why wouldn't you believe it, Jax? And he's like, I'm allowed to have my opinion.

Speaker 1 I'm allowed to have my opinion. You know, with the bottom, I'm not allowed to have my opinion.

Speaker 1 So, you know, we had, we see a flashback to Luke and Danny at lunch because Luke says that, you know, Danny knows that the guys also had some beers in Jack's back or someone's backyard a few days ago.

Speaker 1 And, you know, Danny wasn't invited.

Speaker 1 And so we see a flashback to Luke talking with Danny and he's like, hey, I noticed you didn't drink in Hawaii. He's like, yeah, I haven't had, I haven't drank in a few weeks.
I mean, it's been

Speaker 1 four weeks under

Speaker 1 four sobriety moments. I haven't really worked that one out yet, but I'm still working on that phrase.

Speaker 1 I'm going to use this downtime to really come up with a good, good singer there. So they're like, why aren't you including him? And he's like, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Because we see another guy's dinner where Danny wasn't included. And they were like, hey, where's Danny? And Jack's like, ah, probably drinking somewhere.
Probably drinking somewhere.

Speaker 1 And so Jax is like, yeah, you know what? Like, we all fuck up. But, you know, like, I tell you,

Speaker 1 you got to take accountability like me. You know, like, don't preach onto others like when you're doing it.
Okay. Like, he's preaching to me, but like, he's just as bad as me.

Speaker 1 No, no one, his wife has not shown up anywhere with bruises.

Speaker 1 Jax has literally taken no accountability. That's been sincere.
He has, Jax is the master of.

Speaker 1 figuring out what is the right thing to say, but we've seen his actions do not take any accountability. The rage texting negates any sort of progress he claims he made.

Speaker 1 Like that was his, that was his biggest mistake through all this. You know, he's usually pretty slick about being able to like win people back.

Speaker 1 But like Britain, well, Brittany exposed him because she's protected him for a long time but the fact that he was rage testing her through all of his quote-unquote therapy in this whatever rehab it was at the denny's i'm sorry like you have not had any healing and everything you've said since then has still been about like but what about me why is why why don't why is it so bad for me because i do think that like there's actually a shred of truth to what jason said which is that jax you know all his shit gets discussed every time he does something wrong it gets discussed and torn apart by everyone whereas danny doesn't but there's a reason for that and the reason is that, like, Jax has been doing this for so long.

Speaker 1 This is basically Danny's first time at the rodeo. Jax has been wronging people for a decade, over a decade, on this show alone, as opposed to everything that's beyond that.
And Jax

Speaker 1 proof that he's not taking accountability is the fact that he can't just sit and allow people to tear apart the shit that he did. He has to then deflect onto someone like Danny instead.

Speaker 1 So it just shows he's not healed at all. I mean, I don't know why I'm trying to litigate this point when it's like literally the most obvious point in all of the, like, all of

Speaker 1 like humanity right now is that jax is not taking much accountability yeah so um then we go to jesse's and um he's wearing his hat that says lolly estates i love all the hats on this show for businesses that are like soon to be defunct yeah so uh jesse puts his dog malibu in isabella's bed and uh he's like god dog might as well sleep in isabella's bed since isabella's never here anymore

Speaker 1 now jesse this was only a two-year reality star and you got to hand it to Jesse. He knows how to play this game.
I mean, he shows up in the last episode. He's like, I'm, you know what?

Speaker 1 Who called their wife a whore? Who, who told everybody multiple times that his wife was a high-priced hooker? Not this guy. This guy's crying, guys.
This guy's crying. Let's stand by for Jesse tears.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those, I mean, those narcissists, they really know how to do it. I mean, I wish Alexia were here.
to really say something to him because

Speaker 1 I'm not a narcissist because I'm an empath. So

Speaker 1 we need to get her self-help expert

Speaker 1 out there to be like, the number one thing a narcissist does is talk about himself. There'll be $5,000 for that

Speaker 1 information. Someone just sent me a clip of this guy, the guy from the narcissist party on Real Houses of Miami, for those of you who don't watch, they had this big party for narcissist.

Speaker 1 And he was like the group leader of this party. And he's like, all right, everybody, let's talk narcissism.

Speaker 1 So someone sent me a clip of him hiking and he goes look here everybody look here what i found it's a little meal slot with a journal in it and inside of the journal you've got many people writing things so many languages here you've got english spanish chinese arabic so many things now of course that this shows that we're all from the same place at the end of the day we fight about politics but we're all people who just write in little books that we find while we're hiking.

Speaker 1 Now, I can't read the Chinese and the Arabic, but I'm guessing it's all very nice things. We're good people at heart.
I was like, shut the fuck up, bro.

Speaker 1 Like, the only reason I'm watching this is because you don't have your shirt on right now. Please never put your shirt on.
And when you've got it off, don't talk. Okay.
Speak with your chest.

Speaker 1 Well, the hilarious part about that guy's Instagram is that it's all just close-up.

Speaker 1 images of his face and then like then like an occasional shirtless photo and some quotes that he came up with himself and he is trying to preach against narcissism when his Instagram is purely for self-promotion and like only showing him and showing no other parts of his life except his face.

Speaker 1 I'm like, okay, sir. Thanks for thanks.
Thanks for really

Speaker 1 proving your point there. The anti-narcissist who built an Instagram on his chest.
Oh my gosh. Yes.
This world. I can't.

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Speaker 1 So Jesse's talking about how, you know, there was so much resolution in Hawaii, guys. And, you know,

Speaker 1 he talked to Michelle and he said, Michelle, look at me. Aaron told me last night that he said he was in love with you.

Speaker 1 And i said i'm happy for you so i'm a good person now i'm a yeah basically a good person now thank you thank you everybody yeah come on over michelle so michelle comes over and he's like how you doing i am okay

Speaker 1 okay well um how'd you feel about our trip together she goes well i feel all right i'm glad that you finally had the conversation with aaron that you've been stressing about

Speaker 1 yeah um i really wanted to know how he's able to have that hairstyle without a big dent in the back. And he told me it's a product.

Speaker 1 I didn't know about this, but you can put stuff in your hair to get rid of dents and little

Speaker 1 recesses. So it was good to know about.
I feel like my life has changed. Okay,

Speaker 1 well, now I can see a point one day where we can all hang out together.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he's like, yeah, just chisel off a little bit of resentment.
I'll chisel off a little bit of irrationality. And then we can build on that foundation.
Because I'm a good person now.

Speaker 1 Jesse Lolly. Good person.
Thank you. Well, because he does this whole monologue where he's like,

Speaker 1 Michelle, I just want you to know that

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 bro coach wrote me a little script. And here's how it goes.

Speaker 1 This divorce is not your fault. It's both of our faults and mainly mine.
It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
It's not your fault. Stop doing goodwill hunting to me again.

Speaker 1 How do you like these apples? Okay, I know what you're getting at here. How do you enjoy them apples, Jesse? Jeez.

Speaker 1 He's like, we were both trying to one-up each other, and I think whatever power I have, whatever power I have left, I...

Speaker 1 I'm crying. I give it to you.
I give you my power to do with whatever you'd like. Say whatever you want.
Because I'm just so tired of this, Michelle.

Speaker 1 I'm so tired of this calling you a whore and you getting mad.

Speaker 1 i don't care who's wrong or right i don't want to fight no more it's time for letting go okay stop tina turnering me we don't need another hero michelle we don't need to know the way home all we shall is one another the thunderdome

Speaker 1 okay you are going backwards jesi i'm your private dancer dancer for money i'll be who you want me to be please don't stop doing that please no

Speaker 1 in that case now that you are a good birdson, I would like to invite you to my Zen party at Yamajiro Restaurant, the tourist drop of the hills.

Speaker 1 He's like, well, a Zen party. That sounds interesting.
Yes, a Zen party. And then we see like...

Speaker 1 kaleidoscoping stuff, which is funny because that has nothing to do with Zen, I don't think, but whatever.

Speaker 1 And she says, Jesse's reaction is really funny because he's like, a Zen party? What's that?

Speaker 1 Weren't you the one who just tried to fix all of your problems by going to an ayahuasca retreat in the desert for three weeks? You should be a little bit more familiar with these tropes, Jess.

Speaker 1 We were the one who watched your life coach put his hand on everyone's chest and, like, what was that? Like, release and catch, catch and release. I don't know what they're that dude.

Speaker 1 Like, you are new agents. Okay.
Don't act.

Speaker 1 Only people who understand men are men, bro. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Part of the man is fear. Okay.
Joe Rogan is a king.

Speaker 1 So Michelle Michelle is like,

Speaker 1 she's just saying that she just wants a Zen party, just some Zen energy, right? Yeah, it's been a rough year for her. And he's like, well, should I wear my ayahuasca beanie?

Speaker 1 And she's like, I threw it away because he lost it at the chateau and it didn't turn up at the lost found. And that they didn't cut to a picture of Rob Reiner wearing that ayahuasca beanie.

Speaker 1 I mean, what a waste. What a waste in the editor's room.
The fact that this man wore that beanie to Chateau Marmont and had no shame about it, that was not lost. It was confiscated.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say that right now.

Speaker 1 Someone at Chateau was like, listen, we host a lot of douchebags at this place, but even this is taking it too far. Okay.

Speaker 1 We had Quentin Tarantino sucking on a hostess's toe last week while eating Captain Crunch out of the bag. Okay.
But this is too far. Yeah.
Too far.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we go over to Brittany's house and she's putting out a new door. I got a new door back.
Oh, yeah. It says the cart rots.

Speaker 1 I knew whenever I moved back into this house, I had to take Jax and Blee out of it. And I had to make it my own because this is my house now.
So you know what? He's getting taken off the mortgage.

Speaker 1 He's getting taken off the deed. He's getting taken off of everything except for...

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm going to keep this photo up.
I don't keep this wall up. I'm going to do all this.
But whatever.

Speaker 1 If I want a guy to come over, they don't need to see Jax Taylor everywhere in my house.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm...
You know, look, Brittany, it's so hard for me to believe that Brittany's not a moron, but did she just really take over this mortgage that has $1.2 million of Jax Taylor debt on it?

Speaker 1 How stupid are you? Like,

Speaker 1 what? Why would you do that? That sounds idiotic. Is there something I'm missing where he paid off like the $1.2 million that added to that house?

Speaker 1 Because it sounds like she just took on all of his debt. So I'm not sure how judgy I should be over that because I don't know all the facts.
But from where I'm sitting, this isn't the brightest move.

Speaker 1 Okay. What are you doing in there?

Speaker 1 I wish I remember when she walked in, she put down that mat and then she walked in and in her foyer, she had some sort of generic wall art up. And I was going to write it down and I forgot.

Speaker 1 And I wish I had because it was so Brittany. It said something like foyer.
It was like, foyer.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the foyer where the foyer's happening. I was like, why did you buy this piece of wall art? Why?

Speaker 1 So Kristen comes and they talk about.

Speaker 1 Kristen going to her appointment, about birthing, you know, about having a baby.

Speaker 1 And basically they took Luke's sperm and Luke, you know, which I feel like it's like this with a lot of normal guys from normal places without crap in their water. I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 But his sperm, he's got like 97 trillion sperm that are all like, yeah, they've all got little beards. They're like, yeah, we know how to fix engines.

Speaker 1 But Kristen, when she got her results back, she just got all these prescriptions for shit. And everything came with fertility warnings like, you know, this doesn't cover infertility.

Speaker 1 Your insurance doesn't cover infertility.

Speaker 1 And so she's struggling with seeing the word infertile because she's being technically considered infertile because she hasn't been able to conceive in over a year.

Speaker 1 But she's not, they haven't told her she's infertile, but she's technically considered that. And so she's dealing with the terminology of it.
And she's worried that she's not going to have a baby.

Speaker 1 I'm worried that I'm going to sneeze on camera, which I just did. But hopefully, I mean, thankfully it worked out better for Kristen than me.

Speaker 1 And it's just sad, you know, she's freaking out about the baby. Thankfully, we know now that she had one.
So it all worked out. But yeah,

Speaker 1 which is what actually is actually makes these scenes, which should be kind of actually very sad, are it's like they're really like nice scenes because we know that there's a happy ending.

Speaker 1 But you, you do feel for her. And it's a,

Speaker 1 it's a very real journey that she's on. I'm obviously, I'm not saying like, oh, that there's any question that this is faked.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying that like, I'm, I feel like that's probably very relatable to a lot of people. And I, I really, I really appreciate her emotional honesty in these scenes.
Um, but it all works out.

Speaker 1 So that's great. So then we go over to a restaurant called Norma, which is a place where you can go to pretend like you're going to staff yachts, but eat food in the process.

Speaker 1 And Benji and Zach are on a date. And I'm so mad at this restaurant because they're like, we're going to seat you in the lounge.

Speaker 1 And they seat them like in my nightmare thing, like chairs with like a low, like calf, not even like shin high coffee table.

Speaker 1 No one wants to eat their whole meal off a a table like that. This place should rotten hell.
Rotten hell, Norma.

Speaker 1 You're not the first person to see that.

Speaker 1 So, yeah. And Zach's like, oh my God, they gave us menus, even though we already know what we want because we look online.
It's hilarious. That is hilarious.
Did you guys get that in? Play that.

Speaker 1 Don't make me say anything, I'm later.

Speaker 1 You got a clean tank?

Speaker 1 I love that. I was like, I love that these two like looked at the menu beforehand and already chose their food.

Speaker 1 They're like, We are not going to be slow on camera. Okay, it's very rare that I get my own scene, so we're not going to waste it with ordering.
Okay, I love their waiter too.

Speaker 1 He's like, Hi, do you guys want to order something? He's like, Yeah, we're going to have a porn star. That sounds delicious, and then Benji's going to have the dirty dancing.

Speaker 1 And he's like, Oh my gosh, you guys are meant to be together.

Speaker 1 Did you guys get that? That on camera? You need another taste.

Speaker 1 It's probably one of their friends, let's be honest. So, um,

Speaker 1 Zach is like, so now it's been like three weeks since you moved in with me. How are you feeling?

Speaker 1 And Benji's like, well, aside from the fact that the bottoms of my feet are permanently black because of all the shit you leave on the floor, um, I'm having a great time.

Speaker 1 Just, I just don't look at my feet anymore. Just get used to it.
It's just, I guess, part of your life.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's so nice to officially be here in your dirty house, missing my husband locally instead of missing him internationally. So that's been really good.

Speaker 1 Zach's like, well, it's just the beginning. Like, we're going to go through next hurdles, you know, like the thing that happens on my birthday.
Wedding ring, wedding ring. Oh my God, it's so great.

Speaker 1 The Canadian court just deleted your divorce. They just deleted it.
And he's like, yeah. Benji's all bummed.
And he's like, oh my God, that's a great birthday present for me.

Speaker 1 It's happening on my birthday. Your divorce is being deleted on my birthday.
It's amazing. We can get married now.
Benji's like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is really sad. Benji says, you know, because with my ex, he was the one who wanted the divorce.
I didn't want it. I was really in love with him.

Speaker 1 But then after a year and a half passed, you were still there.

Speaker 1 So, I don't know. Here we are.
Cornstar Martinis. Am I right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is great. Wow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 You've been a really great rebound, Zach. Oh, my God.
I feel like that was, I think what you meant to say is we're going to be a forever couple, but sure. Y'all.
Out with the old and with the new.

Speaker 1 Am I right?

Speaker 1 So, um, he's like, babe, I have a surprise for you. I got Scrotox.
It's like, oh, I got for, I got excited for a moment because I thought you said you got Clorox for your floors, but you didn't.

Speaker 1 No, okay, well, sure, okay, Scrotox, great.

Speaker 1 No, that's that's Botox for your scrotum. It's hilarious because it happened like six weeks ago, and the audience has already been in love with the storyline.

Speaker 1 You're just finding out, even though you have access to my scrotes.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, are you serious? Um, you haven't even said one thing, it really hurt my feelings. Didn't you notice no wrinkles down there? Felt like a baby's bottom, but it was my ball.

Speaker 1 Why would you do that?

Speaker 1 I got rid of you. I was like,'11th on my nuts, and you didn't even say anything, Bungie.' I got notification from Canada that they were proud of me before you even noticed.

Speaker 1 He's like, Aren't you so excited that my ball sack no longer looks like the monster energy drink logo?

Speaker 1 It should look like my ex's net sack.

Speaker 1 Damn it, dumb it, Benji.

Speaker 1 So now they start talking about Janet. And he's like, oh my God, like she walked away after our showdown.
I'm surprised she didn't jump off that boat to get away.

Speaker 1 Cause that's like the only way. And Benji's like, well, she probably wanted to toss you off the boat.

Speaker 1 She's probably like, Jason, Jason, toss him off. Oh, wait, that sounds sexual.
Let's toss him off. Would you like to toss me off my Scrotox balls? Just wondering.

Speaker 1 And also, it was like the most annoying thing that Britney can't see what Janet's doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she just wants to like brush it off. And I'm sick of it.
I'm going to stand up to Britney now, you know? Like, Brittany, Janet has treated me bad in the past and escalated things.

Speaker 1 Like me never say, like, acting like I would say horrible, horrible things cut to Zach at the end, being like, you dumb bitch. I hope you die in your fire.
You stupid horse. What?

Speaker 1 Zach is like, basically, what he's saying is, I am so mad that Brittany didn't defend me when Kristen was yelling at Janet. It's like, she didn't have to.

Speaker 1 When Janet was saying those things about Danny, how come Brittany didn't stand up for me?

Speaker 1 He's decided this is going to be his big fight in the season finale and he's going to shoehorn it in there no matter what it takes. It's going to work somehow.

Speaker 1 I had to sit at a low table and you didn't even defend me for the waiter. Yeah.
Terrifying. So

Speaker 1 they decide he's going to confront her and Zach's like, yeah, you've got some caviar on your lap.

Speaker 1 I'm just waiting for you to say that I'm gallant and amazing. So you can say that now.
And he's like,

Speaker 1 you're amazing. Can I use your phone? I really want to call my ex-husband.

Speaker 1 And by the way, the caviar is meant to stay on the lips. That way when I taste your smooth balls, they taste a little bit better.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 now everyone is doing stuff around town. Everyone's doing things.
Michelle is, she's getting really excited for a Dazian party. Hey, Aaron, look at my two-piece outfit for the Zian party.

Speaker 1 And And then we go to Jesse's house and he's like laying on the bed, internally crying over is Abelah and getting ready for the last hurrah this summer. And then,

Speaker 1 but he does have Isabella this time. And he's like, are you ready, Isabella? Are you ready for the last hurrah? She's like, last hurrah.

Speaker 1 And he starts to cry. So we go to Danny and Nia's, and she's like, I have to get ready, Daniel.
Will you look after the kids while I do it?

Speaker 1 And it's like, sure, I'll take care of all three of these kids while you get clammed up. Sure, that's not going to come up again today.

Speaker 1 three under three three under three so we go over to brock and janet uh janet's getting her makeup done with sheena and so brock's like would you love a drink janet from macaulk hey we're getting over that cheating storyline brock okay could you please not right now oh my god i just thought i saw a rubik's cube it was a sugar cube i almost had trauma

Speaker 1 And Janet's like, I'm not going to drink because I can't be wasted around certain people because I will yell at them.

Speaker 1 And Brock's like, you're not going to let certain people affect how you operate in life volunteer.

Speaker 1 Maybe you should not let certain people at gyms affect how you operate in your life, sir. Keep in your pants, you piece of shit, Brock.

Speaker 1 And I wish that somebody would yell at Brock for cheating, but I guess we don't get that until Sheena's hired full-time. Yeah, no, that's, yeah, that'll be next season.
That was her,

Speaker 1 I feel like that chapter reveal was kind of her way to say, hey, Bravo, would you like to talk? Would you like me to talk about this on next season of the Valley? Yeah. So now we go over to Yamashiro.

Speaker 1 And what I love about this season finale scene is that everyone has to walk through a sea of tourists to get to their like roped off like Bravo shooting zone.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you noticed every one of them is like walking through all glamorous in their zen.

Speaker 1 And you just see people just in like fanny packs and t-shirts sitting at high tops looking out of windows.

Speaker 1 That is Yamashiro. It's like going to Republic, Barn Grill, or whatever club in Charleston.

Speaker 1 The hottest club in Charleston is Republic. And then you just see people in downtown and Bahama and flip-flops lined up outside.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it was weird because Michelle's like, yes, growing up, we always game to Yama Giro. And my mother would dig our knives big jersey here.
I thought that was so cute.

Speaker 1 It's like, guys, let's go to that horse statue outside of the mall. It's just such a fancy place to take pictures.

Speaker 1 I mean, Yama Shiro is nice. It's like gorgeous.
It's cute. Well, that's why we go there because it's so fucking beautiful.
I mean, it's on the top of the hill. You see the whole city.

Speaker 1 It is a beautiful, stunning location, but it is some shit food and it's really expensive. Yeah.
And it's also, by the way, not in the valley.

Speaker 1 They're doing their season finale, not in the valley, which I think is great. The Bravo's like, we put our time in.

Speaker 1 Please let us have one scene that's on the other side of the hill. Please.
Well, Jesse and Michelle have always been very consistent with their brand being Not in the Valley.

Speaker 1 They're like, no, we're not valley people. We will not play this game with you.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I think it should have been in the valley because that's thematically appropriate.

Speaker 1 And if they can't be in Yamashiro because they're in the valley, they could have it at like the, they should have had it at the Benihana where Tori spelling fell on the flat top.

Speaker 1 Be like. That would have made more sense.
Do some Encino. If you're going to get fancy, go to the Encino Benihana where she plays.
Like add an element of danger.

Speaker 1 Yeah, add an element of danger that if this, if this, if this scene gets physical, someone could burn their arm, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 people start arriving. Brock has bleached hair.
It's a big thing. Michelle has a big announcement.
She's like, everybody, welcome to Yama Jiro, where I game do Dagababy pictures every year.

Speaker 1 I love everybody. And I also love Grizzles.
They are very important to me. And Aaron's just next to her.
Like, Crystal is super important to me, too.

Speaker 1 And so I got you all a Grizzl, and it has very personalized messages like, look both ways before you cross the street, Britney. Or don't dip babies in Bougie's dressing, Brittany.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, it was one time chicken william.

Speaker 1 How long were my chicken pleading?

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 um, uh, so then uh, Michelle's like, okay, everyone, if Jesse and I can get along, then I think everyone can get along.

Speaker 1 Yeah, ha, yeah, which is funny because they wind up fighting by the end of the episode. Yeah.
So, Jax is like, I don't believe any of this shit. I don't believe in stars.
I don't believe in astrology.

Speaker 1 I don't believe in reading palms. I i don't believe any of that it's all garbage i don't really think anything can heal this group completely to be honest like well

Speaker 1 thanks uh yeah i i

Speaker 1 i i would maybe be open to it but but yeah i mean i don't think any of this stuff can if none of this stuff has repelled jacks at this point then maybe he has maybe he has a point none of this stuff really does work it's just so weird to see jax so angry at a place who's getting grief free crystal Hello there.

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Speaker 2 Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 2 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.

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Speaker 2 And it's racing straight toward you. On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami.

Speaker 2 It struck Thailand without warning. No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 2 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

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