#2937 Below Deck S12E08 Part 1: French Toasted
This is part one of a two-part recap
Below Deck sends the crew on a little villa vacay and cheffy has a breakdown in a straw hat. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Love Island bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.
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Transcript
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 Watch what crappiness.
Speaker 1 Watch what craft is. Who cares what happens? But there's so much good crap.
Speaker 1
Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens. The soothing sounds of Watch What Crappens.
I'm Ronnie. That's Ben over there.
Hello, you little Benny Toon. What you doing? Hi.
Speaker 1
How's it going, Snookums? Good. Schnookums? Good.
Good, Toots. Good.
Speaker 1
Well, welcome, everybody, to the show. It's below deck Day over here.
We're all in love with each other. Ben, I'm in love with Danny Pellegrino.
I'm sorry. I've got to.
Speaker 1
Well, I just kissed Barbara in retaliation. Damn it.
Damn it, Barbara. She was holding so steadfastly to being a lesbian.
She just killed her. I know.
Speaker 1 I guess a lady and a sweater gay are kind of a lesbian couple.
Speaker 1
I tricked her. I put on a wig and I said, I'm a lady.
And I tricked her. It was very rude of me.
Very easily tricked after being messed up on that boat. Well, welcome everybody to Below Deck Day.
Speaker 1
Tonight is also the date of our very first Amazon Live. We're very excited.
So join us for that. That's going to be at 5.30 p.m.
Pacific time.
Speaker 1
And we have no idea how that's going to go. But it's just going to be so fun.
It's going to be outrageously fun. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1
Yes, I already pulled. I was like, I just went into my Amazon history and I was like, what are five items that I really have enjoyed recently? I've pulled, I pulled them.
They're ready to to go.
Speaker 1 I am, this is the moment I feel like I've been waiting for, you know, is to talk about like cookie scoops.
Speaker 1
It's ready. It's going to be, it's going to happen.
It's going to be wild. There will be a pan, there will be a scoop, and there will be a few other things.
Speaker 1
You've already had so much practice, Ben. So I'm excited for you, really.
I'm excited for us, but mostly for you, because this is really a big day for you. Everybody,
Speaker 1 I just wanted to put that awkward pause in there for fun.
Speaker 1 I'm playing with the... No, it was perfectly timed because Dom just walked in and gave me a straw.
Speaker 1
I was pausing for a straw. I don't know why I did that.
I just started
Speaker 1
with my Starbucks label, you know, like the little label on my Starbucks. I'm just like playing with it.
So I need to focus because it's a very big show. It's below deck.
Speaker 1 It's a very, very serious show. Bam.
Speaker 1
Stop it. It is a Darby.
Very smart space. You know, I'm a huge straw fan.
Speaker 1 I don't get, I don't get, I don't get fangirl whenever I see any actual celebrity, but when I see a straw, I'm like, fuck yeah, straws. You know what? Straws are so strong.
Speaker 1 I am so proud of straws for remaining in our culture, even after you got canceled. You know, I love you, straws.
Speaker 1 Well, well, I'm doing a straw puppet show right now. It's walking in front of my microphone.
Speaker 1
I'm like this. Go wait.
Go away.
Speaker 1 I just saw Flo last night. This reminds me of that bird that was in Flow.
Speaker 1
So I have a lot of thoughts on that movie, too, by the way. So you just all wait for that one.
What's it called?
Speaker 1
Flow? Flow. I thought you watched it with your dog.
Didn't you? No. What's that? Flow.
Flow, it won the Oscar for best animated movie. And it's about a cat that goes on a journey, meets other animals.
Speaker 1 But the whole thing with the movie is that they use real,
Speaker 1 like real audio of like cats and dogs and nature sounds. So everyone who watches it with their pets, their pets kind of like are entranced because they think they're, they're hearing nature.
Speaker 1 And so they all like walk up to the TV and like watch the movie. There's all these TikToks of cats like just staring at the at the screen like what the hell and like dogs and like the animals love it.
Speaker 1
And it was really lovely. It was a beautiful movie.
And
Speaker 1
I thought you'd seen it for some reason. I thought you had said that you'd watched it with Bueller.
No, no, I watched the one about the hooker that won the Oscar.
Speaker 1
Well, they're very similar movies. That was also a name.
What was that? What was that? Anora. They both.
Yeah, they both.
Speaker 1
They're both about journeys. What was her name? Yeah, they're both about journeys.
They're both about sex workers. And they both have Erica Jane on the soundtrack.
Speaker 1 But what I wanted to say, what I wanted to say, though,
Speaker 1 is shout out to Chelsea Devontes
Speaker 1 because
Speaker 1 the episode I did with her of Glamorous Trash, which is her podcast that's all about celebrity memoirs.
Speaker 1 I was so lucky enough to be a guest on her podcast where we discussed the autobiography of Sheena Shea.
Speaker 1
So that book, I think, drops today. And so the the podcast is dropping later today at some point.
So go check that out because we had so much fun breaking down that whole ridiculous autobiography.
Speaker 1
It was like the funniest read I've had in quite some time. It was definitely funnier than Dune.
And so that was great. And another shout out.
Speaker 1 is that we're going to be keep your ears open. We're going to be on Julia Cunningham, Julia Cunningham show on Sirius XM.
Speaker 1 It may be a pre-record tomorrow, but so I don't know if it's live tomorrow, but keep your ears out because we will be on there. So just a shout out to our friends who are having us on their shows.
Speaker 1
Yes. Yeah.
I've been reading a lot of the Sheena,
Speaker 1 the Sheena article.
Speaker 1 Oh, Brock cheated on me.
Speaker 1 So I've been reading,
Speaker 1 I mean, she's everywhere. You know,
Speaker 1
Sheena's acting like being cheated on is like winning an Oscar. I mean, that girl is making the round.
She's like, did you hear I got cheated on? Did you hear I got cheated on?
Speaker 1 Did you hear I got cheated on? Like, I was so mad
Speaker 1 to people about staying with some fucking cheater, Sheena. Like, what the hell? Oh my God.
Speaker 1 Anyone who read the excerpt in Glamour magazine saw that she wrote, she writes in her excerpt, I was so mad that I threw a Rubik's Cube at Brock.
Speaker 1
And to this day, I cannot look at a Rubik's Cube without being triggered up by that pain. And it's like, I love this.
To this day, I can't look at a Rubik's Cube anymore.
Speaker 1 And the thing is, this, her entire book is like that. It's like, to this day, I can't drive by a Carabas without thinking about that painful chapter in my life.
Speaker 1 As if Sheena's ever had a day where she wasn't triggered by a Rubik's cube. You kidding me.
Speaker 1 I can't even believe she allowed one of those things in her home, honestly.
Speaker 1 It is actually a shocking, that's a very shocking truth.
Speaker 1
Like, she was like, look at this cube. You can move it in any different direction.
It changes colors. We must have it.
You're supposed to get all the colors in one square.
Speaker 1 Oh my God.
Speaker 1 It's four corners.
Speaker 1
Four corners. It's like 16 corners.
Okay. Anyway, the point is below deck.
Speaker 1 Bad romance um so we opened with a fun rainbow breakdown which i just i love any show that i can just start cracking up whenever the show starts
Speaker 1 i love that yeah rainbow it just starts with rainbow like
Speaker 1 girls don't like me
Speaker 1 because they toddled on her for fucking up something in the in the maid service you know so they were like who phraser's like girls who's in charge of the master and they're like that bitch that girl over there, the rainbow.
Speaker 1 Fuck you, girls. They threw me under the bus.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Rainbow, it's time to stop trying to be friends with these girls. They don't like you.
Speaker 1
No matter what you try to do, they're still going to throw you under the bus. So I say just unleash your, your outer bitch, maybe your inner bitch, whatever.
You're trapped on an island, bitch.
Speaker 1 And just like make their lives hell at this point. Be like, okay, if you're not going to help me and you're not going to be friends with me, me, then fine.
Speaker 1
Do like fold this, make that, put that fitted sheet on that bed and like get out of my face. I just say go full bitch.
Yeah, look, I think you should be who you are. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
Because when people try to change, it just doesn't work. It doesn't work.
I mean, people can change. Sure.
It takes a lot of work. You have to really want to.
But I think it.
Speaker 1
At your at your core, you don't really change. And Rainbow, it's not working.
You're trying to be a nice person. It's like an alien coming down to the earth and trying to like fit it.
Speaker 1
It just doesn't work. You're just not a nice person.
Just accept it. I remember one time my mom was hanging out when my sister was in college.
Speaker 1
I went to Austin to stay with my sister for a while and was like partying with her friends. It was so fun because we're like a few years apart.
So it wasn't that awkward.
Speaker 1 But it will be when I do it with my nieces because I'm planning to. But
Speaker 1 anyway, at the time my mom was living in El Paso and we were in Austin. So she came and she was having so much fun that she started, she moved there.
Speaker 1 Like she was like, party, you know, she started like coming out with our friends and she started drinking too much and starting fights with people and it was awkward okay and so i had a moment i was like listen you can't be starting fights with my friends that's it you know you've got to stop drinking and so she did
Speaker 1 it was horrible it was the most horrible i think two months of all of our lives and finally we had to sit down with my mom and say it's okay if you drink
Speaker 1 go back to the five and dime jimmy dean jimmy dean because it's just who you are you know some people just need a couple of drinks, like whatever it takes, just stop trying to be this other person.
Speaker 1 Well, that's making us all crazier than the person who is getting us kicked out of restaurants.
Speaker 1
You know, I'd rather be kicked out of a restaurant than suffer through being in a restaurant with somebody who's making me fucking crazy with their fake new personality. And that's you, Rainbow.
Okay.
Speaker 1
Just Rhonda yourself. Just be Rhonda.
It's a very true thing. I mean, what you're basically saying is it's whether or not she's actually a nice person is immaterial.
Speaker 1 She's not being her authentic self because she's trying to be accepted by these people who don't seem to really care about her.
Speaker 1 And Rainbow also has to ask herself a question: which is, does she actually like these people?
Speaker 1 She's so concerned with wanting to be, wanting to fit in and wanting to be liked that I'm not sure if she's actually considered whether she actually likes Barbara or Selene or anyone else on this boat.
Speaker 1 So she should just be herself, do her thing. And even if she, even if her authentic self is being a little crusty and a little bitchy, they probably will respect her more for that.
Speaker 1
They may complain, but they probably will respect her more for just being herself. And they may also inherently be more drawn to that because that's just who she is.
So
Speaker 1 yeah, you heard it here first, Rainbow.
Speaker 1
She's just kind of a dick. I mean, I can see why people don't really like her.
She speaks to people. She speaks down to people.
She's not, she's just not a cool person, you know?
Speaker 1 So if you're, if you have that, and that's just an
Speaker 1 extra wear it like a badge.
Speaker 1 you know she doesn't know how to relate big and i think if she stops trying to relate that maybe she could just she will relate which is the paradox of human the human condition Ain't it though?
Speaker 1
So, um, Anthony is like, oh, it was fine. It is together.
We are together. Don't worry.
Later, I will wear a straw hat and have a fit. I will outshadow every, every stupid mistake you make today.
Speaker 1 And she's like, I know, but
Speaker 1 I need to go.
Speaker 1 And so, Barbara, because Barbara comes in and sees this, and she's like, whoa, what is happening? And Rainbow's like, nothing. I just need to go.
Speaker 1 Selene's still drinking whatever that beverage is in the mason jar or whatever that looks sort of like beer, but maybe apple juice. Like, you know, I think I deserve a break.
Speaker 1
Which she probably says every five minutes. So Rainbow goes to cry in her crying corner.
And then Fraser is like, oh my gosh, I don't feel very awake. I'm horrifying.
It's awful.
Speaker 1
And Demo's like, well, you look immaculate. Because Demo's sort of being flirty with Fraser now.
That's like his new thing. But he's straight, but he's also kind of like, maybe curious.
Speaker 1 We don't really know. I like that Fraser can be exhausted and his eyes are still like pinwheels.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Completely open, like blink, blink.
Look how exhausted I am. You look the same as you did yesterday.
You look like a party, a party city skeleton at Halloween.
Speaker 1
Your eyes are always the same amount of open. He's like, thank you.
That's what I've been going for all these years, not eating.
Speaker 1 He is getting this kind of typical storyline. I mean, most gay guys have the storyline in our past of the straight guy who's just needs attention from somebody.
Speaker 1
So he flirts with the gay guy or whatever. Like we, I've had that, you know, I actually kind of think fondly back on some of those stories.
I enjoy one. I enjoy that.
Speaker 1
Oh my God. Some hurt more than others.
I'm not going to lie. I like that it's a plot this season on this show.
But yeah, some of us have that. I will say I
Speaker 1
think Fraser is lucky because I don't think I've ever been manipulated in a way where I get dinner. I mean, this guy's like, let's go on a date.
I mean, I think that's nice, right?
Speaker 1 That's like not standard.
Speaker 1
Yeah. It's also funny.
Like,
Speaker 1 we live at a time.
Speaker 1 It's also funny to live at a time that like a guy asking another guy out to dinner just because he wants to know more about him is like, what? That's crazy. He must be secretly homosexual.
Speaker 1
He must, he's confused. He's queer baiting or homosexual.
What's wrong with him? It's like, he's just.
Speaker 1
Asking someone. It's like, hey, you seem cool.
I want to get to know more about you. But we're like, what?
Speaker 1 Now, admittedly, it's the context of this show where the only time people go on one-on-one dinners is on a date i get it but it is funny that we're like what this is crazy well and after they made out
Speaker 1 true and after he said like oh i'm not really gay but like maybe i would be gay but like i don't know i'm straight but like i have worked up with guys Yeah, I like guys.
Speaker 1 I'm really clearly doing this whole. Yeah, he's clearly playing the game, I think.
Speaker 1 So now Rainbow comes to Fraser or Fraser comes to her because I think he's like, what is that teapot that keeps steaming and then stopping and then steaming and stuff?
Speaker 1 Oh, it's rainbow. Rainbow, what's up, babe? And she's like, I just, you know, like, I just, I got frustrated because after the tip meeting, I sent him to the cabins to strip the beds.
Speaker 1
And then there's no communication of like, hey, we did the bottom ones, but the master's not done. You know, it's like, it's very much like rainbow will do it.
No rainbow.
Speaker 1
See, and that's why people don't like you right there is your retelling of the story. That is not what happened.
You were supposed to do the the master and you didn't do it.
Speaker 1
And then when they got questioned, they said it was your job. That's what happened.
Don't make it sound like these girls are just trying to throw you under the bus for nothing.
Speaker 1 You at least gave them a bus to throw under. Well, I guess that wouldn't work because then you're throwing a bus under a bus, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 Well, if you want to know what happens next on the show, unfortunately, you're going to have to wait because here comes a wall of Instagram photos to stop the show and its tracks.
Speaker 1 So that way Rainbow can have a monologue. It is nice to see a cast member
Speaker 1 who has an Instagram photo that's not covered in like bikini shots or speedup shots.
Speaker 1 It's just like rainbow with like blood on her hands and like a little like an island setting, but like a Dutch flag behind it and like crying. And
Speaker 1 the caption says, I miss my sister.
Speaker 1 No, I mean, I ranted about this when you were gone last week.
Speaker 1 I was ranting about this because I really can't stand this Instagram, like how they stopped the show for this, because they could include the exact same audio clip I don't mind what is said after the Instagram wall and everything But in the past whenever anyone whenever they layer in backstory with people They just layer it in they just play it and the show just goes forward But here they like stop the whole show to be like wait
Speaker 1
Let's have a moment with this person. Let's have an Instagram wall.
Let's put their name up really big as if we're about to do something really momentous.
Speaker 1 And then they give us an anecdote about their lives that nine times out of ten is not very interesting. And, like,
Speaker 1 we would have had that anecdote anyway, but by forcing us to actually like stop and pay attention to it, it's like more annoying.
Speaker 1 Whereas before, you could let it just sort of like tumble over you and you move on. So, I'm like, really, I, I, every, I, every passing week, I dislike the Instagram wall more and more.
Speaker 1 I hate to sound like a negative Nelly, like a, like an unhappy Ursula,
Speaker 1
like a sad Sally. Be you, like, that's the point of the show today.
Like a
Speaker 1 yucky Yana.
Speaker 1 But I am done with the Instagram.
Speaker 1 Terry. But, you know, you know,
Speaker 1
I mean, I love, I love Below Deck. I just don't like this tweak that they've made.
And that's not me not being able to adapt to a new thing, okay?
Speaker 1 I just think the Instagram wall, every time it pops up, I get so annoyed. Okay.
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Speaker 1 You know, I have to disagree with you just because I'm, you know, a contrary calliope today.
Speaker 1 Contrary Mary?
Speaker 1 Yeah, because I like it because I think you can tell so much about a person from looking at their Facebook feed. And these are basically vapid people.
Speaker 1
I mean, you can tell, I'm not their Facebook, their Instagram feed. You can tell a lot about me.
I have nothing inside. I barely post.
There's nothing there. There's nothing to post.
Speaker 1 I have nothing going on. So you can tell that about me unless there's something cute in my proximity that I can like squelch likes off of, like my nieces or my dog or a baby.
Speaker 1
You know, I'll put those on. But otherwise, there's nothing going on in my life.
So I like
Speaker 1
people in like swimsuits and I don't know, swimsuits. That's basically all it is.
Maybe they just need to get more interesting Instagram feeds. you know, like get those people who like rescue ducks.
Speaker 1 Like I saw one yesterday where a guy built, there, there were ducks that made a nest at a top of a building, like a window on top of the building.
Speaker 1
And he was worried that the ducks were going to jump out of the nest and die on the sidewalk. And so he built like a wooden cage to put the duck.
I mean, that's an Instagram feed, you know?
Speaker 1 So they caged the ducks. It's like, I was worried that you might actually
Speaker 1 feel the taste of freedom. So I put you in a cage and now you're quote unquote safe.
Speaker 1 See, that makes it interesting because you're like is this guy a hero or did he just you know condemn these ducks to death because they never learned to fly like are they going to grow up in a cage when are they ever going to learn to fly how is this going to work and then there's comments like well no the ducks need to jump out of the i think it was a german uh thing that's why i'm doing that but they're like no i think the ducks have to jump out because they just bounce on the sidewalk anyway And then there's like a whole discussion about ducks bouncing off sidewalks.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I mean, let me tell you something.
If there was ever an argument to go watch Flow, it's this duck situation. I mean, talk about watching nature do what nature does.
It's that movie, Flow. Okay.
Speaker 1 What I'm sick of in these Instagram pop-up things is the stories are all the same. And this whole entire show, this entire season is full of people who can't let their childhood go.
Speaker 1 And I get that I'm just told a story about my mother and I'm almost 50. So maybe that's just a human condition thing where we can never let it go.
Speaker 1
But every single person on this show is blaming their parent for literally everything. Like she blames her dad for throwing her on an island to beat up her sisters.
Which is
Speaker 1 that one's
Speaker 1 for having no emotions. Then we've got the other, then we've got a guy who, this guy, Damo, blaming his dad for, you know, not really wanting him when he was a kid.
Speaker 1
Everyone's whole life is revolving around their parents. You know what? Bring back elder abuse.
That's what I say. Just tell your parents, fuck off, give them a shot of something with saline in it.
Speaker 1
Get rid of them. I mean, how are we ever going to get over these people? They're just torturers.
They're torturers.
Speaker 1 I am going to, I'm going to give Rainbow, like, I understand, like, we do, there's a lot of like, this is my, my tough childhood boohoo. Here I am on below deck that happens on these shows.
Speaker 1 I'm going to, I'm going to give it to Rainbow. I think being put on an island in the middle of Holland and being forced to fight with your sisters for an hour, that's like fair.
Speaker 1 That's like a fair thing to bring up on a reality.
Speaker 1
She got a trip to an island. My mom just did that in our backyard.
I mean, what the hell?
Speaker 1
It was a Dutch. It was a very pragmatic island.
It was a Dutch island. She at least got a fucking vacation and a ride on a boat somewhere.
My mom was just like, here's a wooden spoon.
Speaker 1
Here's a fly swatter. You two go at it.
I'm sick of dealing with you little fuckers.
Speaker 1 You're like, we want our old mother back.
Speaker 1 Who is when you're like 25?
Speaker 1 Yeah, I just can't stand this whole Instagram thing.
Speaker 1
It's not even the Instagram wall. I don't mind that there's an Instagram wall that comes flying up.
I just don't like that there is a tonal shift that says, whatever you're watching,
Speaker 1 we're going to put that on pause and we're going to dwell here in the miseries of these maids. And I'm like,
Speaker 1 I just don't care enough. Like, I'm okay
Speaker 1
if I'm concerned about what's happening at the bar. Like, someone didn't wash that bar.
I need to know what's going on with that bar.
Speaker 1
And then while that's happening, someone's like, this is just like my childhood where I was always washing the bar. I'm like, that's fine.
Well, yeah, that works how it usually is.
Speaker 1 But if it's like, but if that's how it normally is, but if I'm like, someone needs to wash that bar and like, stop.
Speaker 1
Let's hear what Barbara has to say. It's like, as a child, I grew up and I always used to like ducks.
And then one time my father put the cage around the duck.
Speaker 1
And then I was like, you have to worry about the duck. So that's why I don't like to clean the bar because I don't want to cage the duck on the bar.
I'm like, I get it.
Speaker 1 I do kind of like the classic below deck style of like they're cleaning a toilet. There's like a poop speck on it that they're about to throw up on.
Speaker 1 And then it's like, and I was traumatized by my dad leaving me you know
Speaker 1 it does it does make more sense like that i also i also like when i'm caught by surprise by it because the thing is when the instagram wall comes up then you know okay i'm gonna have to sit and listen to someone's trauma whereas if i don't know that it's coming it's like oh my god i wonder if they can clean that bar wait she was put on an island and she had to fight with her sisters but what about that bar you know like i i i kind of like the the the blindsiding of it all yeah
Speaker 1
Okay, well, you know what? Noted, and hopefully someone from production is watching this. You know, I hope so.
I hope so.
Speaker 1 So, we get over to Rainbow's monologue of the day, which she's, she's such a good teammate. She's trying to do everything.
Speaker 1
I mean, she's getting herself to the point of having nervous breakdowns because she's doing so much work for everybody. To which I say, boohoo, that's all your fucking fault.
You're the delegator.
Speaker 1
And you know what? You're a bad delegator. Okay.
Belle. Well, you're a bad delegator.
In the end,
Speaker 1 bad Dell.
Speaker 1 Bad Dell. Della, you're Della not reason.
Speaker 1
Della, the gate is opener. Okay.
You left the gate open. The dog is now out running around in the streets.
You're very bad at this. Okay.
Speaker 1 So if you're just bad at your job, just say you're bad at your job. And she's like, well, they, you know, the first opportunity they got, they took out their shotguns and they took the shot.
Speaker 1
Fucking snakes in the grass. I'm like, are you telling me snakes can handle a shotgun? Because that is terrifying.
She's like, they took out their shotgun.
Speaker 1 Those snakes took out their shotgun and they shot me.
Speaker 1
You know what they should do? Okay, I hate to belabor this point. This is not about the Instagram wall.
That's not belabored anymore. I want to talk about this movie Flow.
Oh, Jesus.
Speaker 1 The fucking cat movie.
Speaker 1 There is a very elegant and pissed off bird in that movie. And it's called the real bird is called a secretary bird, which is funny that there's a bird called a secretary bird.
Speaker 1
It's like a bird that's like, Mr. Mushnik, I got a call for you on line one.
Mr. Mushnik.
Mr. Mushnik, they're not taking no further answer.
Speaker 1 So I told them you weren't in, but they're coming, they're coming, they're in there. Are they in there? Do you want me to bring you guys some coffee? Mr.
Speaker 1
Mushnick, the bedroom's all ready, but Rainbow didn't get them ready in time. What do you want me to do, Mr.
Mushnik?
Speaker 1 But they're called secretary birds. And I looked them up, and they're basically eagles that have the legs
Speaker 1
of a stork. And so they're basically these like, they're like sexy, like sexy sexy birds with long legs and they use their legs to stomp on snakes in the grass.
And that's why I'm bringing this up.
Speaker 1
And rainbow needs to be like a fucking secretary bird and be like, oh, boom. And just step on those snakes in the grass.
And in the end, we're going to be like, yes, icon.
Speaker 1
Rather than be like, oh, you're so lame. Like, step on those snakes.
Like a good secretary bird, like the one in flow. I really, by the way, look up a secretary bird.
You're going to be so impressed.
Speaker 1 You're going to be like, you're going to have a gay moment.
Speaker 1 You're going to turn full, like full, like your gayness is going to go up 50% because these are like gay icon birds they just like they are they have a fabulous
Speaker 1 they have a fabulous hairstyle and they have oh these are fabulous birds they're like phyllis diller of birds they've got these big right yeah these are amazing actually wait till you see their i mean look at look at this one
Speaker 1 hold on i'm gonna show it I'm gonna show it on it's it's too
Speaker 1 that's what I was just doing too we have to show people the ones like show the one well okay I'll tell you go into the go into the more images okay
Speaker 1 And then look up.
Speaker 1 Look at the one.
Speaker 1
The fourth one in the first top row. Look at that.
Oh, my God. That's great.
Look at that.
Speaker 1 Human showgirl legs. That's nuts.
Speaker 1 The very elegant feisty secretary bird. She's like,
Speaker 1 you got to do it. She's like the second.
Speaker 1 She's the second.
Speaker 1
I know why it's the secretary bird because this is the one that the boss sleeps with. He cheats on.
This is the.
Speaker 1
Let me tell you. Yeah, this is your wife.
If the CEO of Astronomer were a bird. Yeah.
The CEO of Astronomer Rubird. It would be making up with this one at a cold play concert.
Speaker 1
Your husband is definitely leaving. And she doesn't even care either.
She's like, yeah,
Speaker 1
you can't steal a man. You know, that's the secret.
The secretary probably has like word art on her desk. It's like, you can't steal a man.
Speaker 1 But the secretary has a sister.
Speaker 1 This is what we're looking at right now. This is an acceptable Instagram wall for your
Speaker 1 deck. They should
Speaker 1 secretary bird were a stew, I would
Speaker 1 stop the show 10 times over, look at the Instagram wall and hear what the Secretary Bird has to say.
Speaker 1 You know, the Secretary Bird before it leaves the nest is always like talking to his sister, like, Mr. Mushnick's gonna take me out to a nice dinner tonight.
Speaker 1
It's like, oh, come on, you gotta stop seeing him. He's never gonna give you what you want.
No, he's gonna leave her. I swear to God.
No, he won't. He'll never do it.
Speaker 1 And the way you get them is the way you lose them. Watch out, Pam.
Speaker 1
Yeah, this secretary bird's not fucking around, man. I wouldn't trust this secretary bird.
And you know, she always smells like gum and powder. Oh.
Speaker 1 Uh-huh.
Speaker 1
All right, let's get back to the show. We're going to be here for 10 hours today.
You know, the audience doesn't need this from us. They don't need this from our shit.
Speaker 1
They don't need this shit from us. They didn't deserve it.
They don't. They don't.
Although, if we're going to do an Africa, or if we're going to do an Instagram while, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 Because look, you also get this grumpy old man of the water hole, which is, I guess, a rhino with a spotty nose.
Speaker 1 This is the way to do an Instagram while I'm below deck.
Speaker 1 Tell me about Rainbow's tragedy while I'm looking at this spotted nose rhinoceros called the Grumpy Old Man of the Water Hole.
Speaker 1 A random picture of Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela would have turned 107 today.
Speaker 1
Wow. People would have been asking what vitamins he took.
That's for sure.
Speaker 1 Interesting.
Speaker 1
So many things would have happened. Okay, let's get back to it.
So what's happened in this episode? A lot of cleaning. So Rainbow's traumatized because everybody threw under the bus.
Speaker 1 So Fraser is like, I'm dealing with it. I just want you to trust me with that.
Speaker 1 All right, me, Fraser, who never tries to cause problems among my staff and who doesn't relish in every moment of a woman crying. Go back to cleaning your master bedroom that's taking you 19 hours.
Speaker 1 So then we go to Carrie FaceTiming with the son Sawyer, who's going to get braces. And Carrie's like, my son Sawyer is 15 and this year he'll start driving.
Speaker 1 So watch out people on the road because you're about to have an adventure. Being away from my family is the hottest part of yachting.
Speaker 1 I want to take him to school in the morning and get him at lunchtime, you know, and then drop him off again after lunchtime and then pick him up after school again and then deal with the other kids who are like, wow, your dad's really overbearing.
Speaker 1 And I was like, well, guess what? I want to be there for him. All right.
Speaker 1
So I'm going to ask him about his day and being there and hold him and really just smother him and really make him very, very annoyed. Let's be honest.
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 It's really difficult getting used to taking your kids to school.
Speaker 1 And then it's really difficult getting used to just being on the boat all the time you know i mean here i just want to be in curlpool and there i'm always trying to pull into the tiniest spot i can just to prove that's possible right
Speaker 1 i need you to call the distances of this parking space sawyer god damn it i know him every time he's just be a bus driver but he'd probably annoy all the kids he'd be like all right kids everyone be quiet back there i need perfect silence i'm pulling into the driveway all right silence okay i can't hear the calls.
Speaker 1 All right, Fenders
Speaker 1
out. I said, Fenders out.
I need communication.
Speaker 1
Where are your radio? We don't have radio. So shut up.
You're all fired getting you a plane ticket.
Speaker 1
All right, we're halfway through the school year. What I'm seeing is complacency.
All right, we can't be complacent. We got a hover half of the school year.
All right, so go get him.
Speaker 1 Now, kids, you all got tipped. Everyone gets five jolly wrenches.
Speaker 1 So Soria's driving. Yay, Yay, we don't see Captain Carrey Instagram, do we?
Speaker 1
Thank God, no. That I'd like to see.
I feel like it wasn't. Well, it's more.
I'm saying thank God because I just
Speaker 1 want to listen. I've learned how to make a tortilla.
Speaker 1 I like when they show the young Captain Carey photos, like when they show him from 1995, living in a share house in Australia or something. And he's like smoking hot.
Speaker 1 He had that like blonde little puff. And
Speaker 1
all the captains are like really hot in their youth, actually. That's my favorite part was when they show them.
Like every single one of them. Maybe not flat.
They're still hot.
Speaker 1 they are hot glenn had that glenn had that big like fro but like
Speaker 1 well yeah
Speaker 1 glenn has the best the best captain photos for sure where every time they cut back he's like in a disco club in his big fro
Speaker 1 yeah he used to live in a cave and say hi to nurses
Speaker 1 so
Speaker 1 true story so uh anyway uh demo um
Speaker 1 uh meets is like hey can we can i talk to you fraser so he's like fraser's like um yeah what's going on he's like so what's what are you doing this evening?
Speaker 1
He's like, um, well, I was thinking that I think we're going out for dinner at some point. You know, I think that's what the group is doing.
What, what do you have on?
Speaker 1
He's like, well, that's at six o'clock. And so if we've got time for a couple of drinks tonight, then maybe we can meet up with the rest of the crew afterwards.
He's like, oh.
Speaker 1
Oh, good. I get to be toyed with again for the fourth straight season in the row by a straight man.
I can fall in love with someone again.
Speaker 1
Yeah. He's like, well, Damo and I did kiss.
He's a decent guy. He's attractive, but he's straight.
So it's a straight date, which is not a date. It's just a straight thing.
It's a thing we do. It's a
Speaker 1 gay having dinner with a straight person.
Speaker 1 Not really sure to
Speaker 1 not really sure what to expect from this, but I'm in love with him now. So he's going to go.
Speaker 1 And,
Speaker 1 you know, Barbara is checking on Selene. And Celaine's like, oh, I need your help because I need my best friend.
Speaker 1 You know, here in this bathroom, like, he's very much Scottish right now, but I'm very clear with him. I have more,
Speaker 1 but I'm more clear with him than I am with Jess because I'm not very clear with Jess because Jess is friends and sometimes maybe a little bit more than friends is a little bit more than friends you have too many options I think Solane just has too many options they need to start taking away options from Solane This is what happens when you cast someone from Love Island on below deck.
Speaker 1
Exactly. They treat everything like Casa more.
And then I want Casa less. Okay.
So Barbara.
Speaker 1 But now the whole show has turned into that and it's getting kind of annoying, even though I like Love Island, but this is this is below deck.
Speaker 1
I don't need to see all the main fucking, you know what I mean? Like, it's getting old now. I need like one or two storylines a year.
It's
Speaker 1 it is driving me absolutely insane. I
Speaker 1 don't care about who Celine is making out with. And like you can put it, you can have it as a storyline, but please don't make it the central storyline because that's what we're getting.
Speaker 1
And it's driving me bunkers. I do not care about Jess or Scottish.
Just like make out on the side. I don't care.
Let's clean up that spill instead. That's what I care about.
Let's get this. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Learn how to iron the sheets. You know what I mean? That's what I'm here for.
I need my slutty shows in one corner and my made shows in the other corner. Thank you.
I turn into the slutty shows.
Speaker 1 Like, I don't want to turn on Love Island to watch them cleaning and I don't want to turn on Blow Deck to watch them clean out. There's a reason we never have to watch them clean on Love Island.
Speaker 1 That's not what we're there for. They have to shut down that set for a whole day a week to come and clean it, you know, because you know it's all skanky and there's sperm crust everywhere.
Speaker 1
Like, you know, it's nasty in there. It smells like butt rot.
So they have to have a whole day of people cleaning. That's what they need.
Speaker 1 The day off, they need to have the below deck crew come in, and that could be a spin-off show and clean. Then they can find
Speaker 1 and go back to the fucking.
Speaker 1 I'm going to walk it back a little bit. I did take a huge amount of joy watching Huda fold clothes out of for some reason on the baby challenge day, like sullenly, like really with an angry,
Speaker 1 like I can't believe I have to fold these clothes right now. She just had a pile of baby clothes that they just gave her to fold.
Speaker 1
That was a delight. Yeah, but you know, in general, no, let's just keep that.
Let's just keep the show separate. So, Barbara is
Speaker 1 like, oh, exactly. But I think this is why you should think if you're not getting confused with this friendship, because that's probably what's going on.
Speaker 1
It's like, well, but Jesse's confused, but it's mixed. You know, I need to watch my soul.
I need to watch my soul. And she goes, you should go to church for it
Speaker 1 yeah barbara needs to be my favorite barbara doesn't give a buck and she doesn't care about any of this stuff she's just like uh you want to make out with me maybe not make out with everybody so
Speaker 1 you know i think barbara's hair really does a lot of heavy lifting too like i just forgive like any trespasses that barbara may have i will just forgive because i just love her hair so much i'm like i don't care she can really do no wrong by my my book so she's like yeah i I think Selene, she's just very immature.
Speaker 1 And I'm sure Jess is growing feelings and like, just deserves someone that is not confused about for by the way that's what that's how I feel about it. So now they're all getting ready.
Speaker 1 How very romantic is it?
Speaker 1
And that's the other thing I'm feeling about this show. It's like they're making it like, well, I mean, I guess we're lesbians.
So
Speaker 1
we'll actually like each other. I guess we should just do that.
We're the lesbians. There's two lesbians on the show.
Well, I guess you're 100% of my options. So let's go ahead and go.
Speaker 1 Well, think, I think Jess ultimately starts caring about Barbara as just a mind game.
Speaker 1 I think Jess is revealing, reveals herself in this episode to be quite the fuckboy, and except she's like a fuck girl.
Speaker 1 And she's just using Barbara as part of her master plan to like retaliate against Selene for making out with Skoltish. But Barbara calls that.
Speaker 1 She's like, no, I feel like you just want me because you're trying to make her jealous because she got you jealous and now you're trying to make her jealous.
Speaker 1 So, you know, Barbara's too emotionally intelligent for this shit. So So I think.
Speaker 1
So now it's time to get ready for the day off, the night off or whatever. So Damo announces he's taking Fraser for a date.
And Kyle's like, I think he's going to break up with you, man.
Speaker 1
He's going to break on with you. He's a breaker number.
Look at him. And I think that that's accurate.
I think that's an accurate read on Fraser. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Because he did seem to enjoy it last week or whenever when he was like, just hold on, I have to talk to my boyfriend who I dearly miss. I've only seen him five times in a year.
Hold on.
Speaker 1 I broke up with that moron.
Speaker 1 It's over.
Speaker 1
So Fraser and Damo go to Palapa Lounge, which that's fun. I love that.
Palapa is a word that's often used in the New York Times spelling base. So everyone take note.
Palapa, it's also very fun to say.
Speaker 1 I'm going to call it Palapa Lounge, which, by the way, Palapa is the last name of those two birds, the secretary bird.
Speaker 1 Pam Palapa.
Speaker 1
Mr. Moshnik, it's Pam Palapa.
See you.
Speaker 1 Are you ready for your lunch?
Speaker 1 It's It's a patch roof, palapa. Commercials.
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Speaker 1 So Damo and Fraser go on a date, and Damo wants to know more about Fraser.
Speaker 1 And I do too, actually, because I'm curious to know if Fraser has one single human quality, like one single human ounce of emotion in him. Because I really never see it on this show.
Speaker 1
So I'm curious to see how he is in a romantic setting. And it turns out he's exactly like he is when he's telling someone to clean a bathroom.
He's like, oh, really appreciate that.
Speaker 1
It's so nice to talk and not have to deal with the whole crew for 10 minutes. Isn't this lovely? I'd like a drink, please.
Do it better. Do it better.
This glass has spots on it. Thank you.
Speaker 1
You call this a palapa? This isn't a palapa. This is just a garbage pail on top of a stilt.
Get me into a proper one. So then we cut over to Jess, who is,
Speaker 1
who tells us, like, oh, Stilly's come to me. He's told me, like, they've kissed, but like, I'm sorry, it's Jess.
It's not Celaine. Jess, Stilly has told, last episode,
Speaker 1 Kyle just went up to Jess. He was like, by the way,
Speaker 1 I kissed Celaine, which is a real kind of like, it was a real dick move.
Speaker 1 I don't know why he thinks he's still part of this equation. Like, no one's even paying attention to him right now.
Speaker 1 And he still is like moping around like he's act like he's an active part of a triangle the triangle has moved on
Speaker 1 you your point on the triangle has been replaced with barbara i hate to break it to you he's like that part at the end of a tv show where the credits have rolled but you keep watching it thinking there might be a little extra scene and then it goes then it starts that part where it's like and now the french credits and now the spanish credits
Speaker 1
And now the Swiss credits. It's like, oh my God, fucking wheel of time.
Do I need to sit here for 15 15 minutes? It's 15 minutes the runtime.
Speaker 1 And he's still just sitting there like, maybe, maybe there will be something at the end.
Speaker 1
Fun fact that I wish I had known when I watched it and I had found out later, Flo has a post-credits scene, everyone. So keep your eyes out.
Ronnie, when you watch Flow, watch through the credits.
Speaker 1 It might be worth it.
Speaker 1
So Fraser asks if Damo wants kids, and he's like, I have two fears in life. One of them is stingrays.
The other is being a bad bed father. Oh, for Christ's sake.
Speaker 1
I actually have a third fear. It's that I do become a terrible father to a stingray.
That would just be terrible.
Speaker 1
So then Fraser is like, do you have a relationship with your dad? I don't really care. I'm just asking questions that the producer gave me.
You can say whatever you want. I don't really care.
Speaker 1
So Demo's like, I do have a relationship. And he's like, is it not good? He's like, it's not great.
I mean, hello, I'm on a yacht. And then all of a sudden, Instagram wall.
Speaker 1 I grew up in a house with my old man and my mom and my brother and our pet Stingray. And from my dad's first marriage, I have two older sisters and an older brother.
Speaker 1
And I have a sneaky suspicion that my brother and I were supposed to appease my mom, who always wanted kids. And actually, she said, I wish you were a Stingray.
And I said, but I'm a child.
Speaker 1 Aren't you happy you have a child? She says, No, I wish you were a Stingray. And I don't really know, want
Speaker 1 to bag my old man out. But what I will say is, in the second litter of kids, basically, he's saying that his dad never really liked him.
Speaker 1 Well, he's saying that his dad already had a litter of kids and he didn't want another litter, another couple kids, but he did just to appease the mom. And so he never felt like he was truly wanted.
Speaker 1
Let me tell you what happened. Your father had you when he was 50.
As someone who's nearing that, we're tired. Okay.
That's it. We're tired.
Speaker 1
And I have friends of my age who are still having babies and stuff. More power to you.
Hope you can afford a fucking nanny because not a one of you isn't tired. Okay.
Speaker 1
And the one that does have a kid, he's doing a great job. He has a lot of help, though.
You know, he has a lot of people surrounding him that can help. It's fucking exhausting when you're young.
Speaker 1 When you have it, you're, you should just be grateful that you have an old person there who's not throwing remote controls at your head every time you talk to him. Because that's what I would do.
Speaker 1 I'd be like, catch that.
Speaker 1
That's why you were both to get my remote control. Go fill up the Starbucks.
I told you how to make a two-pump mocha. Go fucking do it.
That's why I had you. Okay.
I'm exhausted. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah. We're tired.
You know, they should rename it from retirement to retirement.
Speaker 1 So Fraser is...
Speaker 1 He's like, well, we all go through so much growing up, but being British, we don't talk about it for the rest of our lives. Anyway, so
Speaker 1 Demo's like, so you think you're making up for lost time?
Speaker 1 Because Fraser says that he didn't talk until he was six, which
Speaker 1 is.
Speaker 1 That is surprising. I don't know about childhood development, but that is a surprising thing to learn.
Speaker 1 Well, I didn't speak until I was six six vocally, but I was reading people with my eyes the second I came out of them.
Speaker 1 But I was judgy from the boom. I was spat out of my mother's vagina and I looked at that doctor and I said, really? That's what you're going for for facial hair?
Speaker 1 You're holding me and you want me to see this first. Thanks a lot.
Speaker 1
You looked much more presentable when I was being held upside down. by my feet while being spanked until goo spewed out of my mouth.
You really are one ugly motherfucker. Please put me down.
Please.
Speaker 1 When they laid me down on my mother's chest for the first time, I couldn't help but stare off at the sign and notice how disgusting the walls were in that hospital room. Could no one clean anything?
Speaker 1 Could I please get served lunch on a decent table? I mean, what are these lumpy things that you've set me down on? Not eating out of these things.
Speaker 1 Please let me get Captain Sandy's a doctor. She's like, Yeah, I've been trying to get him to do better tables.
Speaker 1 Anyway,
Speaker 1 everyone was absolutely impressed with my ability to throw a concert in one day in the
Speaker 1 ICU.
Speaker 1 But I had to move on from there. So I didn't talk because I was so bored with life.
Speaker 1 So Dan was like, are you making up for a lost time? Which is funny because it's not like Frazier's a chatterbox. It's not like he was talking.
Speaker 1
He's not making up for six years' time's worth of talking. And Fraze was like, I don't know.
I still do a lot of the time, but I just have to fight through that. And being gay.
Speaker 1 do you understand are you relating as when i said that did you relate no i never want to show any of myself i guess in the past five or six years i'm getting to know myself and who i think i am and i've decided that i am wretched and i think i'm going to stop speaking for another six years and so he does say human things here he's just not saying them very human humanly you know like i'm getting that
Speaker 1 I don't know how to say it, but I'm getting that. Humanely, isn't that when you're being nice? Or is that just when you're being human?
Speaker 1 I think humanely is, yeah, being
Speaker 1
maybe considerate, like being nice to animals. And yeah, yeah.
So I don't mean humanely, I just mean like human,
Speaker 1 human-like.
Speaker 1
But, and also, Fraser is a robot, let's be honest. He's a robot.
Yeah, he's a bot. So when he's like, and then being gay, I never want to show any of myself.
What kind of gay is that?
Speaker 1
I'm not that kind of gay at all. I don't know any gays like that.
Every gay I know is like, hello.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Like, if, if, yeah, if
Speaker 1 you're not sure, gays are like, I'm sick of not showing my real self. Here I am, world.
Speaker 1
He's like, being gay, as you know, we are not very expressive. We're not an expressive people.
You know, gays have the most trouble with expressing ourselves,
Speaker 1 even though our prime minister Madonna has been trying to teach us since the 80s how to do so.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. So, um, um, rainbow
Speaker 1 is no chemistry on this date at all. Did you feel anything?
Speaker 1 I felt nothing. I felt nothing.
Speaker 1 I felt nothing, but I was excited anyway. I was excited for Fraser to have yet another straight guy on this show
Speaker 1
flirt with him. He's lucky.
That's a fun thing, you know? I just think he takes people into disservice. I mean, listen, if you're friends with a straight guy, it's your duty to help them.
Speaker 1
And you need to tell him to stop with the highlights. His hair is ridiculous.
Help him. You're a gay.
You were put on this earth to help people and you're ignoring your duty. yeah
Speaker 1 so um now rainbow is talking to anthony and he's excited uh because one thing we haven't really uh talked about is that they are going to be spending two days in the villa for their vacation uh this season and so anthony is talking about how he's really excited because we're going to cook together and this season is my redemption last season i was probably a little too weak and this season i feel like i'm still weak but not as weak well maybe a little weaker i don't know mommy Mommy is mad at me.
Speaker 1
I'm weak. And we both are.
And he's very much like, well, last season, it didn't go so well. She's like, I don't even know what happened last season.
Speaker 1
He goes, oh, it doesn't matter because this season, nobody will stop me. I love you, but I want my career to go up and up.
And I'm not going to let anyone put me down this season, even not Fraser.
Speaker 1 But you know what I want? I want for you to tell me everything that Fraser tells me about me. Maybe he's talking sometime in my back.
Speaker 1 And she's like, um, I'm not going to tell you what's going on with Fraser because at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing. And he's my boss.
Speaker 1
Okay, but I will betray you by going to tell Fraser everything you just told me. You crying lump of shit.
You want a piece of me? Do you want to fucking pee? I'm sorry. Flashback.
Speaker 1
No, no, don't do that. Don't do that.
No, this is not my weak season. Last week season will meet my weak season.
So if you do that, I'm going to. I have to be strong.
Last season, I trust him.
Speaker 1
I forgive, but I don't forget. So I want to know if I can trust this guy or not.
Cheers to the storm. The boat will go down, but not the one.
My career will go up and up and up.
Speaker 1 I will be known as great chef who will have meltdown over cooking hot dogs. Okay.
Speaker 1
He's so crazy. Listen, Fraser probably did have something to do with you getting fired.
I thought it. Apparently a ton of the audience thought it, as we see in this episode.
But you know what?
Speaker 1
Ultimately, you got fired because of you. Like there might have been other helpers there, Anthony, but you still got fired because of you.
And Fraser brought you back.
Speaker 1
And I can't even believe I'm sticking up for Fraser, but he got you another job. So shut up.
Just shut up. Stop your fucking crying.
okay? Go blame your mom like everybody else on this show.
Speaker 1 Well, Anthony,
Speaker 1 he brings us all back out again. He's like, after I got fired, Bobby told me Fazer is not your friend.
Speaker 1
He makes you fired. I love Fraser.
I love Bobby. I don't know who's lying.
Two of my favorite fictional characters, Fazor and Bobby, one psychiatrist, one icon. Can't they be the same person together?
Speaker 1
What if Bobby had talking show about psychology? I can't stop thinking about that. One of them is playing me for sure.
I don't know who it is, but I will find out. Like, you're playing yourself on a
Speaker 1 wuss, my God, for crying out loud.
Speaker 1 So, now the crew goes out. They're at the anchor,
Speaker 1 which I can't even believe there's a restaurant called the anchor seeing as how it's the main point of stress on this show. It's like, is this this place should be all trauma?
Speaker 1
I think the waiters should come up to your table being, oh my God, you guys, what do you want? We might not make it. We might not make it.
Okay, order now. You have five seconds.
Speaker 1
Maybe you should die. We're all gonna die.
Oh, we're fine. We're fine.
Okay. Here are your appetizers.
Speaker 1 Maybe it's a restaurant that's Sue Simmons themed.
Speaker 1 Sue Simmons.
Speaker 1
The fuck is that? Oh, sorry. I didn't realize we're alive.
One of my friends. I went out the other day.
Speaker 1 And my friend is dating this guy and he was wearing a Sue Simmons t-shirt. And I was like, do you like, do you like that guy? And she's like, I don't know yet.
Speaker 1
And I was like, you better because he's in a fucking Sue Simmons t-shirt. Like, that's the man you marry.
Like, I I don't even care. Don't even tell me stories of emotional.
Speaker 1
Like, I don't want to hear anything. I just want to hear that you're in love with this man.
Yeah. If you don't know who Sue Simmons is, do yourself a favor.
Do your research. You'll enjoy it.
Speaker 1
She's, she's great. It's a lot of homework today, looking up Sue Simmons, Secretary Birds.
You're all Googles are fucked.
Speaker 1 So, um, so Lane is talking about how, oh, sometimes I struggle to sleep with you in my bed.
Speaker 1 And Chess is like, okay, well, you know, Steady came to me yesterday and he said that like you guys are still kissing and stuff but listen i just i just want you to know you know like i don't want stilly to come to me and she's like oh today i kissed still
Speaker 1 they kissed him today i did it
Speaker 1 okay well it's not the problem i just i don't want to find out from other people you know like i'd like you to tell me
Speaker 1 You guys are not in a relationship. Well, first of all, he, it's more like Stilly shouldn't be so messy as to go up and tell Jess that.
Speaker 1 In fact, if I were Solane and I found out that Kyle did that, I'd be be like, I'm not making out with you anymore because you're messy and you're trying to ruin what I've got going on here.
Speaker 1
I'm enjoying making out with both of you guys. And now you're showing that you're unreliable.
So no more for you, Stilly.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
But she likes that. She likes getting everybody all upset.
That's her game. It's her game.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1 Jess is like, you know, with Sosa, I'm playing with fire because I know she's flirting with me, but she's also flirting with Stilly and it's a red flag. But, you know, it's exciting.
Speaker 1 So it works for who not us i'm telling you it's not it's not exciting for the audience we don't care this is not exciting okay there i don't care what flag it is i just
Speaker 1 take that flag down take the flag off the pole another thing yeah take the flag down no more flags take them down so um i think in this world on below deck there's only a couple of gay people right well actually this is the gayest season we've ever had this is pretty gay but still you're in a situation where there's two lesbians on the boat right So everyone is looking at Selene like, that's the girl from Love Island.
Speaker 1
And she's like in little bikinis and she's like hot. She's like traditional girl hot.
But in the lesbian world, Jess is one of the hottest fucking people I've seen. Like she's hot.
Speaker 1
Like she is extremely hot. So to see her have any kind of level of insecurity because she's in kind of a different place than the gay world is so crazy to me.
That girl's hot.
Speaker 1
She can have whatever she wants. So don't let this tootsie play you.
Move along, sister.
Speaker 1 move along well jess is like um can i still kiss other kiss people and so he's like of course i'm okay with that whatever you want me we mean and dog voila
Speaker 1 So everyone,
Speaker 1
they all gather for dinner. And the other thing is, because they are committed to the Instagram wall bit, that means that everyone has to get one.
So here comes Hugos.
Speaker 1 And his big announcement is, I got into yachting probably like a lot of other people and I was traveling and I was getting away from life I had before and I grew up Jehovah's Witness and I didn't say
Speaker 1 I didn't call Jehovah's Witness so no I didn't technically call it but I did the second he came on my screen I was like this guy when he was like oh I'm in an open relationship we just do whatever we want I was like this guy is from a very like
Speaker 1 you know
Speaker 1 religious kind of family. It just, he seems like somebody who escaped from that or comes from a very religious background that now he's like, yeah, now I'm so open.
Speaker 1
Whenever you talk to those people, you know, I've been one of those people. I am sometimes one of those people.
And you start talking to us, that's what you find. Religious fucking trauma every time.
Speaker 1 So I called that. I didn't call the Jehovah thing, but I was close.
Speaker 1 I, um,
Speaker 1 I just, I love that they just wedge this in here at dinner. They're like, who wants to get an appetizer? I do, because my parents were Jehovah's Witnesses and I decided to leave the religion.
Speaker 1 And there's a lot of, my parents have a lot of guilt and they think I didn't prop, they didn't properly properly steal things in me.
Speaker 1
And it's like, I'm no, it's like, well, my life would have been wasted if I stayed there. Would aren't your won't be happy for me? I'm like, do you want French fries or not? Okay.
For real.
Speaker 1
He's like, I'm still traumatized by ding-dong. Really? Then why do you fuck them? No, no.
The actual doorbells. They just, they just remind me of my childhood.
Speaker 1 It's like, I'm sick of going door to door, so now I go dock to dock. So Fraser, um,
Speaker 1 there are no doors to ring. There are no doorbells on a yacht.
Speaker 1 No doorbells in America. So he escaped when he was 17.
Speaker 1 And,
Speaker 1 you know, he doesn't feel like anything was wasted. He doesn't want to waste his life staying in a life that he didn't want, which, you know, good for you.
Speaker 1
That's a lot of pent-up energy to get out, though. Good for you.
Tell it to someone who cares on a different show. Good for you.
Have you made my
Speaker 1 favorite thing is my coffee finish. Good for you.
Speaker 1 Tell it to your therapist.
Speaker 1
So Fraser pulls Rainbow for a chat. This very love island.
Can I pull you for a chat?
Speaker 1
I wanted to pull you because you're really my type on paper. No, it killed me earlier because I saw you emotional and I won't have that anymore.
And she's like, oh, no, I want to apologize.
Speaker 1
He says, never apologize. Actually, you should apologize to me.
And then after that, never apologize. Oh, you can always apologize to me.
Just apologize to anyone else. The point is, stop crying.
Speaker 1
I don't understand emotions, and it's strange when you do that. But I want to apologize to you.
But I I want to. Please touch, please.
But I want to.
Speaker 1
I spoke for six years so I wouldn't have to express a single emotion and now I didn't like being around them whatsoever. So please shut up.
Do you think that's what I'm saying?
Speaker 1
It's like you're working so hard and you being second means you've got to put up with a lack of initiative. All right.
And it's not on us to get frustrated.
Speaker 1 It's also on us to hate other people and fire them when need be. Do you understand?
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1
I need another asshole in this position. So are you up to that? She's like, yes, I'll do it.
I'll do it. Oh, by the way, I have your back.
The chef was totally talking about you to me.
Speaker 1 So you you should probably go say something about that. I was like, oh, my God, Rainbow,
Speaker 1
you were just crying in this episode about how no one likes you. And then you do something like this.
What's wrong with you? Oh, I think she was totally, totally
Speaker 1
not valid. Her feelings were valid.
I think she was totally whatever. It was right for her to do that because her loyalty is to Fraser.
And that was messy of Anthony to do that.
Speaker 1 And she was like, this guy's being messy. Well, she was just having a conversation with Anthony, getting him to open up and saying, we'll always have each other's backs.
Speaker 1
No matter who's crazy on this boat or how people treat us, we've got each other's backs. And then she runs right to Fraser and tattletales on him.
I mean, that's, that's low. Come on.
Speaker 1
Well, because Fraser was like, not only do I have your back, but I have your back against your evil stepsisters. And so she's like, oh, he has my back even more.
So
Speaker 1 which by the way is a lie because Fraser is going to sell her out in one second and he's going to gossip about her with the other two because that's what Fraser always does. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But I think it was, I think, I think it was like, you know, she was showing loyalty to her boss in that moment. And the thing with Anthony, I don't think that was real.
Speaker 1
That was, he, Anthony was using Rainbow to start. He was trying to start a, to recruit people to his side in a war against Fraser, and he was being sloppy.
I think, I think it was.
Speaker 1 Well, I'm not saying he wasn't being sloppy. I'm just saying that if you're, if you're like, we'll always have each other's back, everybody may mistreat us, but we've got each other.
Speaker 1 And then you run and tattletale on the person.
Speaker 1 I'm just thinking. Well, I mean, what is that? Is that that Anthony was the only one who was actually consoling Rainbow in the past?
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the only person that's nice to you, you just go and betray.
Speaker 1 Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.
Speaker 1 See you over there, suckers.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Speaker 1 Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wonderry.com slash survey. Picture this.
Speaker 3
You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.
Speaker 3
Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.
Speaker 3 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.
Speaker 3 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.
Speaker 3 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.
Speaker 3 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.