#2933 RHOC S19E02 Part 1: Hot Pot, Meet Kettle

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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens!

I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there.

Hello, Ben!

Hello, welcome back, my sweet rondola.

How are you?

Thank you.

It's so good to see your little face. It's been so horrible spending a whole week speaking to people other than you can you see my face through those angie k sunglasses i can yes i can see your face i've got so much light on blaring in my face but yeah i'm an angie sun and angie k sunglasses that a listener gave us because I got my eyes, my eyelids cut off.

I had my eyelids ripped off.

And when I tell you the doctor who did it was the hottest fucking guy,

I think he messed up one of my eyes and I still could not stare at it.

And then I went to like the checkup thing where they look at your eye and he

was staring into my eyes while we talked.

And I was like,

I'm in love.

And then I was telling my sister and she's like,

I think he was staring into your eyes.

Cause he's an eye doctor.

And I was like, Oh yeah. Yeah yeah.
Is he hotter than you with that sexy mustache you're rocking right now? Yeah, I've got a mustache, too. You know, change it up a little bit.
Why not? You're going to have some ladies in the audience and some men as well. They are going to be feeling things, Ronnie.
I'm telling you, this is a very sexy look you've got going on cool sunglasses mustache it's like you went you got your eyes it was like it's like uh urkel's uh other like twin came by wasn't raquel remember like steve urkel's just got back you're already putting me in the Urkel pen can I have a minute

but back you're already putting me in the urkel pen can i have a minute but yeah it was it was really fun my first little dip into real housewives plastic surgery you know now i have a whole list of shit although it hurt a couple of things it hurt more than i thought like the recovery hurt more than i thought and the other thing was it didn't really do as much as i thought i really thought I was going to come out looking like a different person. And I look the same.
I mean, I'm not showing you right now because I'm all bruised up, but I'm exactly the same. I mean, I don't know.
It was an experience, I guess. I think you'll probably notice some differences once it heals up and maybe some swelling goes down.
You're going to notice like some subtleties because even the smallest like millimeter of change on someone's face, everyone, you just notice, you just see it, you know, think about all the times when you're so used to seeing yourself in the mirror. And then when you see yourself like with proper, like through a camera, I mean, it really, that's a big difference, but like it shouldn't be that different really.
But it's like, I look like a monster, you know, I'm like, is this how people see me? me i'm used to my mirror version so like a few millimeters can change everything so i think once that swelling goes down and everything um you know you might see some some some slight changes there well who knows i hope it's not like when you're walking on the street and you pass a glass building you know like a reflective building and then you see yourself and you're my God, I know you're like horrified by yourself. I hope it's not like that.
Like I wake up one day and that happened. But anyway, thanks to everybody who came and filled in.
You guys did such a good job. You know, we're really lucky doing what we do a that we get to do what we do and just sit here and laugh with each other all day.
You know, that's so great. And I really do when I was away for a week i because we had time off before this too for the holiday and so i've really become so much more appreciative of this gig but also the friends that we've met along the way you know and the people that we can ask to come pitch hit in in just like that and they show up and they do such a good job i mean everybody was great and i've been reading the you know the comments to everybody about everybody who showed up and you know we're really lucky to have that so thank you everybody yeah we thank you to our audience for being like a chill audience that like is like because did not like make our lives hell by being like how could you do this everyone was very chill and i want to give a shout out i'm gonna give it i'm gonna give a shout out to all our guests right now hunter harris diallo riddle amy phillips diamond cooper andrew puglisi eric williams ash and elena from morbid um dylan dylan hafer danny murphy um and i think that was it actually and kiki monique for crappy hour so thank you why am i sound like i'm giving an academy award thank you acceptance speech because i don't know why it feels like it but it does you know it was cool that all these people really like like kind of dropped everything and and like joined us and helped out so i really appreciate that yeah thanks team and go listen to all their respective podcasts and follow them on social media because they're all really great people and i know we tend to wander around and recaps anyway and and you know tell little stories in here and this and that this one's probably going to meander forever i've missed so much i can't believe how much i have to say oh my i have to say your surgery came at a at a at a unique time because you missed the premiere of orange county the finale of love island the premiere of well i don't know if it really counts we did but the the love island beyond the villa we didn't even talk about that um but it was like it was sort of hilarious i was like oh no i feel like ronnie's gonna like miss so many like big exciting things but the good news is that like the orange county premiere was great but this episode that we're about to recap i think is even better the return of gretchen i mean this episode was this was a good one yeah this was a good one all right let's jump into it let's get into it here we are real housewives of orange county season 19 episode 2 old faces new places i cannot believe the housewives let them get away with a title called Old Faces.

I know.

That's a real shocker.

It's a real shocker.

But they did.

They got away with it.

Yeah, because this is the big Gretchen Returns episode.

So you got a milestone in.

You didn't miss this milestone.

I think this is probably the most important milestone of the week i mean yeah love island finale whatever we get look how about this why don't we give you we'll do a quick bonus round with you flash flash judgments or snap judgments or you just bonus round you answer this okay thoughts on the oc premiere decent but too many old storylines they need to come up with something fresh and tamra nice nice try on the tamra 18.0 but you're still you're still a fucking monster possible on a trash can thoughts on love island finale um love the hood of breakup scene when he wouldn't carry her across the water i died i watched it 30 times and it still sucks i don't care what anybody fucking says thoughts on um stephanie uh snapping at lisa and also the lisa narcissism i mean the the alexia narcissism party that was also greek god themed uh stephanie's a fucking pipsqueak monster who's fucking some old man for his money i don't care how many different ways she tries to word it and i can't wait to make fun of her she's humorless so that might be a problem um but i do like her outfits narcissism party on brand loved it jacks has quote unquote quit the valley good fuck you jacks you fucking abuse abusive piece of shit i hope they send you on a fucking spaceship with aaron pfeipers into the sun yeah that's the news that i just read literally two minutes right before this aaron pfeipers into the sun. Yeah, that's the news that I just read

literally two minutes right before this.

Aaron Pfeipers, what a piece of shit.

What a fucking monster.

So yeah, Jax and that guy, send them into the sun.

And also, I don't care what anybody says.

Janet still sucks.

I don't care about her whole redemption thing this week

of, oh, poor Janet.

I have to look at comments that are like,

why is your husband with you?

You're such a monster. And it's all because Kristen did it to me.
Kristen's so mean to me. She's such a bully.
Fuck off, Janet. We hate you because you're you.
OK, I don't need anybody on the Internet to tell me you suck. You suck.
Georgia's plan for opening a club on Next Gen New York City. Bowling.
My mother, Rhonda, called this back in the day when we owned Skylane's bowling alley.

You know, she was the first person in El Paso

to come up with Midnight Bowl,

and she insisted it would be an amazing club.

And now, all these years later,

George is going to do it.

Galena kills the chickens in the chicken coop,

or tries to.

Galena's a fucking national hero.

I love her.

I hope she runs for president.

If we can vote this racist

and all this other asshole shit that this guy's done in here with his missing Epstein files and all this shit, we can have Galena. Bring Galena in to kill the chickens that deserve it.
Like fucking ginger. To whatever happened on Below Deck, which is probably not much.
Below Deck was good. I'm really sad that I missed that awful guest, Don.
Because Don's She's like, hey, Dawn. Hey, Rainbow, you're fucking with me, Rainbow.
All the strip club owners. I was kind of sad that I missed that one.
I'll be honest. Atlanta reunion.
They're trying. I can't believe they're doing three hours with nothing.
But they did a pretty good job. Shamia, you're only proving why your basic ass does not deserve that chair or that spot.
I mean, boring. Nice girl.
Boring as hell, though. Beyond the villa.
Amazing. At first, I wasn't sure because they barely wear mics.
The recording is terrible. All you hear is echoing.
But then they started fighting about spray tans and glam. And then I was back in.
And also, shout out to them spending the episode driving up and down San Marco Boulevard. King's Court, which is the hottest of the three? King's Court, I couldn't take.
I'm sure it's good, but I just went through Love Island. I can't take another dating.
So I made it halfway through. I don't believe any of those men have trouble getting dates.
I do believe they have trouble keeping them because they're douchebags. And that includes you, Tyson.
I don't believe Tyson's not a douchebag. And just because he cried in the middle of the episode about how traumatized he was, you know what? You were probably traumatized because you're a douchebag.
You're a model. I don't believe that you're not a douchebag, Tyson.
Okay? But good luck with your show, King. Time's up while you got it in just in time.
Wow, I'm so impressed. We did it! Thank you.
God, that was a whole week of pent up it's like joey gorga not being able to you know pull his pud for a while release the poison wow it just goes to show so basically the fact that we spend about um you know 20 hours a week talking about like these shows we could also just do it in about three minutes. Great to know.
We could just show up once a week for three minutes. Alright, so last week on Orange County, we had Shannon, of all people, bringing people to a golden door for hippie stuff so they could restart.
Shannon, you just yelled at your entire cast of Love Hotel to the point where the host went on a tirade against a coked out tirade against you online. And a year after you crashed into your house and melted down about 10 times over Earl to Pearl.
I don't know that you're the one to be hosting this event, but I love you for doing it anyway. Yes.
We definitely appreciate it. So we left off with them there and now where we pick up they are um they're going to basically walk into one of those like meditation reflective labyrinths that they actually did in miraval as well or some of them did i remember gino did the labyrinth she's like i feel bad because i'm lost in the labyrinth i feel bad is that an i feel bad rinse because i I feel B-Ann.
I feel B-Ann because I'm lost in the labyrinth. I feel bad.
Is that an I feel bad

because I feel bad?

I feel bad because I can't

find David Bowie in the labyrinth.

Wasn't the labyrinth on that one

just like drawn lines in the sand?

I don't even think it was like walls or anything.

It was just like

from the back of a cereal box onto the sand.

I think when people do these

things, it's usually just like a concentric circles. I'm not even sure if it's really a labyrinth.
I think you just go around in circles until you sort of get to the center, but it's called a labyrinth. I don't know.
I haven't actually been part of it. I haven't done one, but I do know that usually people cry by the time they get to the end of the labyrinth.
So I'm not doing a fucking labyrinth. I've seen what happens in labyrinths and movies.
Nothing ever good happens in a labyrinth. I literally nothing.
Cause like, that's why I'd say these are grids because why would we have a labyrinth? I am looking forward to when they inevitably do this on, um, on the Valley and then Janet does it and, uh, cries and we can name the episode fans labyrinth. So, by the way, say the i can hear the collective like sigh of relief for you being back because i don't think people were very happy with the like the the not tearing janet's to shreds element while you were gone like the still talking negatively about her but not like she's a fucking piece of shit rotten hell die die under a carpet that's being run over by a truck like if there wasn't that energy and people i can tell people were like this is not right bring ronnie back so i was like please let bring the bully back well get janet's look she's fucking she is horrible like she is horrible but i i enjoy her horribleness but a lot of people are not people are like no she's horrible and she's not fun to watch yeah she's like satanic she's like satanic secretary you know because she's not fun like satan is at least like fun and creative i mean at least in movies and stuff the way he kills people and like tricks them and stuff like that so i shouldn't call her satan because Satan's not fun.
Like Satan is at least like fun and creative. I mean, at least in movies and stuff, the way he kills people and like tricks them and stuff like that.
So I shouldn't call her Satan because Satan's more fun, but you know, just like that evil head secretary who never lets you have more than one of the candies. Cause they're for guests.
She's like one of those, you know, or like who, who like looks at your lunch and tells everybody what you ate, even though you're supposed to be on a diet. Yeah.
By the way, I finally saw Sinners.

I've mentioned it on like about three podcasts this week.

I just want to let you know that I did finally see it.

Just when you mentioned the devil,

I thought of, you know, Janet and Sinners.

How did you like Janet's musical number?

When she was on that banjo,

seducing Haley Seinfeld,

I was like, Janet's doingice doing great honestly like she may

be the devil but she has a beautiful voice it might be worth it let her in um so yeah so anyway

they're doing this labyrinth thing and as they're doing it we're hearing um we're hearing like

flashbacks to last week because it's kind of like they're doing the labyrinth but we're also recapping

and um we hear we hear like like i want to start over and like that girl was attacking me on social

Oh my god. flashbacks to last week because it's kind of like they're doing the labyrinth but we're also recapping and um we hear we hear like like i want to start over and like that girl was attacking me on social media i have never called her ever i and katie doing her thing of like i i want to exonerate myself but i don't have any service here oh terribly unfortunately yeah it's too bad can't exonerate myself i don't have service if you had any receipts in there you would have them screenshotted just like the rest of us do, Katie.
Now, here's the thing. We all know Katie's a compulsive liar.
You know, Katie's lies. She lies a lot.
But I'm still on Team Katie. These women are terrible.
And I know that Katie was lying, but you all fucking deserved it. And I don't know how Emily can get off saying, how dare you bring my child into this? Oh, by the way, I have a piece of chicken in my purse.
I'm wacky. Like, Emily, you know, you're saying don't bring your children into it, but you're bringing your child's eating disorder into it.
I'm using that for a storyline. And you brought her custody into it at the reunion, which was really fucking down low of you.
That was so mean. What Katie did to her was nothing compared to what she did to Katie.
I wish Katie would just have the stones to be like, fuck you. What you did was way worse.
And you owe me an apology, Hatchetface. But you have lovely hair.
Yeah. By the way, I have no objections to Emily bringing her son's eating disorder on screen.
I think it's actually very compelling and interesting. And I applaud her for it.
But I do think, though, sometimes like if you're gonna like if you are gonna send her your your child in your storyline uh you know it's just it feels like you can't call the shots necessarily on that sort of stuff like if you if you want your child to stay out of harm's way you really just shouldn't have them really be addressed on the show at all in the first place it doesn't mean like oh well she she brought on herself but i'm just saying there is like an element of hypocrisy in this as well. And I, um, I also, I also, I also, I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also,

I also, on the show at all in the first place it doesn't mean like oh well she she brought on herself but i'm just saying there is like an element of hypocrisy in this as well and i um i also agree 100 that i think yeah katie is lying she's fibbing but they all do i mean hello look at tamra look at tamra who like didn't she call the feds on ryan last year or like or like looking to that she did yes calling up a private investigator or like or try or working with shannon to do that like

they all do wretched wretched things and i think they're just fully deflecting on their own bad behavior because they know that katie is weak and she's a newbie and that and that katie's sloppy she's a sloppy liar and she's caught in all her lies so they know they've got fresh blood and so just going after her but also what she did is baby potatoes those were baby potatoes That's what Katie did.

She told some blogger about a story that your nanny retold about your kid saying that you didn't like heather dubrow oh no you know like oh no i mean what you did in retaliation was so much fucking worse and katie's not even playing on like a master manipulation level she's just like my kid my kid really did hear the other kid saying that em doesn't like Heather Dubrow. Like, really? You're going to rip the woman apart for that? That's what she did.
That's her sin. I mean, they're crazy on the show.
And then meanwhile, you've got Tamara running around, like still doing her thing of like, which we find out is a lie again, another Tamara lie. And and she's bringing her child into it her child's been begging her to stop bringing her up on tv and tamra's still doing it so all of you complaining about bringing children into it when you're the ones bringing your children into it constantly quiet down over there quite a time i'm so glad to have this show back and i'll tell you one thing i think gretchen came back and she came back strong i'm gonna say this right now i think gretchen came back very strongly i think we were all kind of expecting gretchen to be kind of a waste of space because she just sort of has become this like spectral like instagram presence with like a face tuned face like a smudge she's like a smudge she's like that painting that that lady did in that church who tried to fix Jesus' face and turned him into a smudge.
That's basically what Gretchen has turned into. So we sort of imagine that her personality is like this.
Have you ever seen those spots where people are like, Jesus, he came back, he's coming out of the clouds. And it's just kind of a smudge of a cloud with the sun shining through it.
That's what she is. And i think that gretchen came back with her first season energy because she went her gretchen's first season was her best she was really really so good and then i think that like as slade got his claws into her that she did sort of become more and more generic and less interesting um and they even said that on the show when they had one of those behind the seasons um specials they said she would start to produce herself and protect herself and i think that she's now like she's been in time out for a long time she doesn't care anymore i think she's also older and wiser and she just came back and she's like i have tamra's number i am not fooled by any of this bullshit the way people like i don't know gina and emily are and i'm not gonna I am not going to let off.
And I thought it was refreshing and I thought she was strident and like a great, it was a great debut for Gretchen coming back after all these years. Does her face remind me of a marshmallow in a microwave? Yes.
But I loved her coming back with that personality. I was cracking up the whole time.
And you know who else she has on her side now? Jesus. I was going to say Fox News.
She has Fox News hair. She's come back with her full on, like, this is my Trump era.
I'm going to say Jesus every other sentence. And I'm just going to go for it.
I'm going to make everybody pray at every meal. I mean, you've never met a more self-righteous person than a person like that.
And I don't mean a Christian. I mean the self-righteous, like overly judgmental, like overly showy religious people, okay? I grew up with them.
I still have them around my life. And let me tell you, the one that's talking about Jesus the most is the one cheating on their taxes or trying to run homeless people down in crosswalks.
Always. or fucking their secretary or whatever else you know everything so i loved it when she started bringing jesus into fights i was like yes it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to quince has the the good stuff.
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I love this era of Crazy Gretchen. I think Gretchen was great.
And in fact, I felt like you know slade slade really has made my skin crawl for so many years but um i felt like she was like i feel like every time in the past where slade and gretchen appeared on screen he always does so much tap dancing and like look at me camera that she also would get lost in those scenes and i think that she actually she outshone slade like at long last slade was just a little he had as much energy and as much attention as ryan and matt in the scene that he was in and that was like very wonderful for me because slade is he's too much he just tries too much and maybe he's just exhausted and he's realized that he just you know like he's given up maybe but i I felt like the dynamic between them was better for me as a viewer and she was great. And he's got like that aging beach boy hair now where he like poofs it up really big.
He's got like big hair. And so I like that.
And I think the reason his attitude is slightly changed is because for the first time ever, Gretchen and Slade have an army. It's not just them.
It used to be them coming for Tamara and standing up to Tamara. But now they've got all these ancillary characters who everybody kind of wrote off, like Jen Pedranti.
No one gave her, no one paid her any mind. They just thought, let's just abuse this blonde idiot.
And then they've got this Katie girl who they think they could just abuse. And I think that Gretchen's like, listen, bring me a couple of B-levels and we'll take this shit over.
I'm not going to stand for Tamara's bullshit and guess Jesus won't either. Tamara.
It feels, if this feels like some sort of young adult novel or whatever, or maybe like a Game of Thrones thing where it's like they had to resurrect their messianic leader of some sort to go against the big bad. And they were like, they their ritual and they resurrected gretchen they brought her back and now she's like their undead uh hero that's gonna go after the undead villain of tamra and it's gonna be a great clash and tamra knows what's coming because she started the season off with her oh i can't believe it everybody's so mean to me i'm gonna do therapy now because I got autisticness and I'm going to do something.
I was like, shut up. I mean, it's just so textbook Tamara.
It just fucking cracked me up that that's what she came in with and it's already crumbled by episode two. It's already good.
This season's already just like firing on all cylinders because there's so many interesting relationships happening because you have Tamara and Shannon are are still just trying to like they're just trying to take swipe swipe with each other they're trying to gain some sort of like upper hand with each other and then they just use everyone else as pawns and then heather's somewhere in the mix i don't know where heather where heather stays in this but like those two tamara and shannon are like the central like underpinning relationship and anything that Tamara does against Katie is ultimately it's just in service of unraveling Shannon in some way and that's what we see on this episode as well yeah so um so anyway they all set some bullshit intentions on how they want to be better about things which they don't do at all and then after it's never gonna. No intention on any housewife show during any one of these like foofy new age resorts has ever come true.
Um, not even, not maybe, maybe, um, Gina's did when she went to Bali and felt the wind and now I don't want to live in fear anymore. No, I'm not scared.
By the way, Gina's accent. Now you've got 10 accents.
Like, what is Gina even doing? Like, she's like the Brittany of this show, where Brittany's just like doing her accent more and more. To the point, I don't even know what accent Gina's got anymore.
It's not even Long Island anymore. Like, she says her A's like E's.
She's like, yeah, well, it was really scary scary why are you talking like that are you from

minnesota and long island like what are you mixing together now gina is looking more and more like she's in some tnt tv show about the mob i swear to god not even like not even hbo not even not even now just tnt not even because i just watched mob land on my break and it was so good and i'm Yeah, Gina wouldn't even make that one.

She's not on a streamer.

No.

She's not on Parabot Plus.

She's on DMX. Because I just watched Mobland on my break and it was so good.
And I'm like, yeah, Gina wouldn't even make that.

She's not on a streamer.

No, no.

She's on TMT.

Yeah.

So then Emily is like, well, it's the only positive things in my life.

And Shannon's like, well, I choose to continue on the healthiest path possible right after this Milky Way.

I will take a moment.

Well, I mean, it might not be the healthiest path, but it is a path. It's called the Milky Way.
And I choose the Milky Way. I choose that way.
My way or the Milky Way. Jen is like, I am strong.
And Katie's like, I am bringing health and positivity. It's like, nope, none of this is happening.
So now, after their Golden Door experience comes to a close, we see Shannon driving. She's heading to LAX to pick up sophie so she's talking to her on the phone and she's like so sophie how was how was the flight oh crap i went the wrong way looks like i'm going the wrong way on the highway whoops sorry about that everyone talking to my daughter just having a rough day that's it i can't unset earl the pearls house's house in Georgia off of my maps.
I can't reset it. And then we get to Jen, and she's working out in her backyard, which is a step up from the parking lot she's usually working out in.
So that's good. Yes.
And, you know, Shanna's having her wacky, like, well, I can't find the airport. Where do I go? I'm i'm wacky i'm driving around lax i'll tell you what's lax the signage around here um so then we see gina uh at home with her kid and her kid's like mommy the dog poop but at least it's not diarrhea this time.
She goes, yeah, you know what?

We're sitting a really low bingar.

We're sitting a really low bingar.

Bingar.

And then we go back to, now Sophie has gotten into Shannon's car,

because this is like, it's punctuated.

All these things are happening while Shannon's literally picking up Sophie.

And so Sophie gets in, and Shannon's like, oh, hello, look at you.

Nice to see you.

Where do I go?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, no. Oh, my God, I'm driving into the ocean.
Oh, Sophie, help us all. She's on the tarmac.
Yeah. She's like Herbie fully loaded.
She's under a southwest flame. Like, wait a minute.
This overpass is moving. Mother, you just parked on a wing.
Well, I guess we're getting a free flight to somewhere to somewhere oh well where in the world is matt lauer except it's shannon we don't talk about that anymore okay i have no idea how i got lost and how i have some of these delicious dijon mustard twisty pretzels thank you southwest boarding group c kiss my cracker excuse me excuse me there you were there in the airplane do you happen to have a Biscoff cookie you can pass through the window over to our car? Sorry, ma'am. This is Southwest.
We don't do that shit here. You can have some dry-ass ginger snaps.
It tastes like chemicals. Also, if we open up the window, the whole plane goes down.
Oh, okay. It's already on the tarmac, but whatever.

I thought this was my front yard.

Okay, we won't have any biscoffs.

How about this?

How about we have some biscoffs, as in turn on your good attitude.

What happened to the customer is always right.

So then we go over to Omelie at Shape Shop.

Who opened a place called The Shape Shop?

Fuck off with that.

Gina, that sounds like such a Gina place.

Oh my God, I'm going to go buy a trapezoid.

It's like, no, you don't buy shapes there.

You guys want to go work at a Shape Shop?

We can go to Shake Shack after the Shape Shop.

Shape Shop.

Shape Shop, Shape Shop.

Shape Shop, Shape Shop.

Do you guys want to go to Chop Shop or Shake Shack after the Shape Shop? Do you guys know? Do you want to go to Stop and Chop afterwards? So we go over to Shape Shop, which is basically a place with these big roller things with like, I don't know, bumps on them. And then supposedly they roll all over you and then they confuse your fat.
Are they confusing your fat? What are they doing? I think it's supposed to be that that stuff is supposed to dissolve your fascia. That's the thing.
It looks like, you know what that place is like? It's like, have you ever seen a documentary like how things are made and you ever see a factory and you see a conveyor belt and have you ever said to yourself, you know what I want to do? I want to put my leg at the end of that conveyor belt and see how that feels. That's what the shape shop is.
It's like get all the fun of cuddling up on a conveyor belt without having to go to a factory. Well, I don't really have money now to go to a shape shop because I spent it all on my eye.
But I will tell you, I do live on a very steep incline with asphalt.

So I'm just going to start rolling down that every morning.

I mean, if that's all you need is some bumps to like undo your fat, I'll do it.

But then how does your fat know what to do once it's been dislodged from the – I just don't understand it.

I don't believe it's true.

Otherwise, everybody would be thin.

Everyone would be.

Well, they walk in and the girl who works there, they're like, what is this what is this because um it's a full body lymphatic drainage massage like okay what happened to the good old days of just shopping at zensations you know like do does anybody really need to be in the room while i'm getting a full body lymphatic drainage massage am i am i massaging the lymphatic drainage it's like oh look at this what just drained out of you let's touch it and massage it could you imagine going to that with me i don't even know it was like 20 year old dominoes seeping out of my port i don't even know what the fuck would come out of me toxic waste nobody needs to be around when that's happening yeah i don't listen i've said some re-sticks i don't know why i don't want to see what they look like oh i had reese's uh minis oh they were so good what a delight so um and we're like oh they get all the gummy bear flout oh wacky so they do all this stuff they're like rubbing up on these like rolling pins bumpy rolling pins and then they go to a different different room where they do infrared light therapy and stuff, and they got their legs wrapped up in those things and stuff. And Gina's like, to be honest, I thought we were going to be doing this kind of stuff at the Golden Door.
So kudos to you, Tamara, because I see that you're really trying with Shannon, by the way. First of all, save your Yelp reviews for when you actually

pay to go to that place next time, because you got

to go there for free. So no complaints, Gina,

from the Golden Door. And also,

you got to go

on the Labyrinth, okay?

Just say thank you next time,

okay? Don't go and shave the Golden Door.

The first time someone's ever been

put into a Labyrinth, and the Labyrinth was the

one that was confused.

The Labyrinth Yelp review is like,

what the fuck was that? Were those

Thank you. door the first time someone's ever been put into a labyrinth and the labyrinth was the one that was confused it was like the labyrinth the upper view is like what the fuck was that were those hair extensions was it tape what was that and what was that accent where's that person even from don't ever let that person back in they're like the golden door has shut down the labyrinth has shut itself the labyrinth that went to like a labyrinth cocktail party and told the other labyrinth guys i'm thinking about just being a straight line i don't know it's like i've always heard that expression about it's gonna become a freeway you know i always heard that expression about like the living the straight and going the straight and narrow but i didn't really realize how it applied to me until until gina so uh also while we're at this line gina kudos to you tamra because i see that you're really trying what have you seen tamra do that's an effort at all tamra has done nothing tamra did nothing but torture shannon the entire year last year and this year she's like i don't even understand why shannon's so mad at me i know this is This is classic Gina.

Start of the season, turning on your allies.

Because last season, Gina was on Shannon's side. Shannon had

a DUI last season, and Gina

was like, I'm going to stand by you.

I'm realizing you're in a lot of pain.

I've been there too. They were sitting on the

same sofa together at the

reunion. There was everything.

And now Gina's like, you know what? The way you stood up to Shannon, I see you like really trying with that. Yeah.
You're really trying to shine. Yeah.
You know, you're not letting people activate you the way that you were last year. You're so different now.
Gina doing that thing where she has nothing. So she's just going to come start shit with everybody else, which I kind of support.
So Gina's like, uh, do you believe that Katie didn't talk to the blogger? And Emily's like, fuck that. She did.
But you know what? I didn't like Shannon standing up for Katie. I mean, what the hell? We're not allowed to bully people anymore.
We're really changing the whole show. Yeah.
Tamara's like, yeah, she was trying to make it seem like a gang up, but all it was, was all just gang up on her but it's not a gang up right bitch and Gina's like yeah it wasn't a gang up I mean you were hurting everybody and now we want to address it with you and you want to sit there and victimize yourself says Gina who's always first of all this is exactly what she said about Jen last She's like, oh, so you can't pay your rent so you're going to victimize

yourself? And who did she hurt?

Who did Katie hurt?

She's like, she hurt all of us.

She literally, like, all

she did was

she just told the nanny, oh yeah, there's this

podcast you can talk to. Like, who the

fuck cares? And you're bringing more attention to it now

on your show. No one listened.

Tell me who listened to a nanny on a

random podcast. Even if it's not a random podcast.

I don't remember what podcast it was. But

So, fuck cares and you're bringing more attention to it now on your show no one listened tell me who listened to a nanny on a random podcast even if it's not a random i don't remember what podcast it was but tell me who really even remembered okay bravo babe is a good podcast i think i mean i think she has like a big thing you know oh you're right it was bravo babe i didn't mean to shade bravo babe but i meant like that's a good job but but i meant just like you're bringing attention like it's this private entity that nobody can get a hold of you know how you can get a hold of julia roberts go on to fucking instagram and be like hey bitch i didn't like you and pretty woman and she'll write you back go fuck yourself i know also thirsty it's just kidding but they're acting like oh my god how did you get the number to this blocker you go on the fucking instagram how do you how else do you think nikki min is telling SZA off right now? That's exactly

what I was going to say. She doesn't have her home number.

Yeah.

I was like, this is just like Nicki Minaj and SZA.

But I, um,

I... You can tell

I've been spending a lot of time scrolling through news

on Reddit. I'm like, you've been at home.

So, you know,

but like thirsty, ancillary

hangers on, thirsty

people are always, they know where

the outlets are. Like, honestly, she could have never spoken to Katie and she would have found her way to someone like Bravo, babe.
And I'm not saying like someone like, I mean, like just anyone, any podcast that's going to talk about this sort of stuff. But also, but like, okay, so this nanny, first of all, no one really cares about what the nanny has to say.
We might, maybe we would have repeated a few lines like, oh, we heard this from a nanny on Crappy Hour. We would have talked about it and laughed, but no one would have really cared.
And Emily's acting like the nanny spread news that changed America. And it's like, no.
Maybe we heard it. Maybe we laughed.
Maybe we thought, oh, whatever. But by the way, we didn't need a nanny to tell us that you probably talked shit about Heather Dubrow in front of your kids because we all know that you did.
And we don't even blame you for it. We actually support you for doing that.
Yeah, Heather is an asshole. And whatever you said in front of your kids, Heather probably deserved it.
Okay? I don't know what we're all acting like. Oh, my God.
Someone said Heather Dubrow's an asshole. Heather Dubrow is an asshole.
We all fucking know Heather Dubrow's an asshole. Heather Dubrow knows Heather Dubrow's an asshole an asshole she does so then okay so anyway i'm going back to my original point which is like gina saying she had all of us like who did she okay so that she so a nanny went on and talked that uh said that emily has like talked about heather in front of her kids the other point was that uh uh someone said that tamra uh someone alleged that tamra um was um uh was coming up with fake accounts to talk shit about people or whatever.
Which she does. Every housewife does that.
Janet's not the only one out there with 40 fake accounts. Yeah.
But either way, the point is, the other issue there was that Katie called whoever was who was like being attacked by Tamara over this situation and like was conciliatory to this person and not conciliatory, but like was consoled them or something like that. It was like I had a kind conversation.
My brain started leaking with that word. I was like, oh, that word's too big for me.
I don't want to adjudicate this point. But, okay, so there was that.
Is that really the biggest crime against humanity? It's like shady, and you could be like, Katie, please don't do that. Don't get involved in my mess or whatever.
Okay, so that's two people. How did this become? She's hurt everyone.
First of all, I don't see how anyone is hurt by any of these situations. Maybe they were annoyed.
Maybe it was a nuisance. But who was actually hurt? I don't know.
And as far as if people are hurt, so far I count two people and you were a cast of like seven. So, I don't know.
I think Gene is full of it. You guys went on to national TV and supported Emily going up there and saying, you're a bad mother and your kids were taken away from you because you're insane and unstable and blah, blah, blah, blah, is the worst thing anybody can do to another mother and i cannot believe you all are sitting up here defending that fucking taco in her purse carrying motherfucker over here i can't believe it i can't believe well i can't believe it because it's gina and she's spineless but still no one hurt you especially you know it's so g doesn't like, Gina does not like that Katie is victimizing herself, says Gina, who's always like, I can't believe that like Jen wasn't paying the rent.
You know how that made me look bad as a real estate agent? Like the queen of victimization is Gina. So now we go to Shannon and Katie meeting on a bench and Shannon's like, oh, I'm sorry.
It just hit you on the chin. I didn't mean to.
I can't really feel my face. I got laser.
And after where I had, I got laser. And I was on my face.
And I got a facial. And I got a massage.
And I got Botox. I mean, Shannon is barely moving.
I decided to treat myself because after everything with Earl Depearl, I was like, I deserve a facial and a laser. I got an air filter and oil change.
I've switched out my kidney and I've got one eyeball that's electric. Runs on watch batteries.
Wookie, wookie, wookie, wookie. You can do it.
It's electric is what the song always said. I didn't realize that you really could do it so shannon's like i it's you know it's not fun to have things sag i mean so if there's a laser that can snap it up i am going to do it as long as it's perfectly an organic laser and uh not made with any toxins but so you know it's just neck up because down below nope nope i'm not opening i'm not that is not up for business or open for business until i'm in a relationship so earl the pearl you can just wait on that one so katie's like thank you so much for standing up for me and telling the girls to stop bullying me the other day she's like oh i just i get it you know you feel this oh exhaustion it's just so hard and there's so many people coming after you and there so many people, and I just, someone needed to help you.
Someone like me, Shannon Bedore, the most giving person and most understanding person in the world. Shannon Bedore, don't ever forget that.
Especially by the end of this episode. I, um, I, I, I, I, I just want, I want, when you get ganged up on, I don't like that, but this is also my way of saying, when I get ganged up on, which will probably happen very soon, you better be there for me, bitch.
It would be nice if you made an effort towards me next time. That's all I'm saying.
Okay. And Katie is like, well, that's a trauma response because I was married to a psycho.
And, you know, if I ever fought back with him, it became worse. And Shannon's just like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, shannon's just like oh my god i wonder if i plugged in my left eye why does it use lightning cables instead of usbc i just don't understand the technology well i just you know stephanie i just think that there were that you're calculated or you plan what you're going to say.
My name's Katie.

I'm pretty sure it's Stephanie.

And you're new this season.

No, I was here for a whole season prior.

Okay.

No need to gaslight me. I already had enough of that

from Jack Jansen.

Stop ganging up on me. Where's my friend Katie

to help me?

Well, I wish I were smart enough to play chess. I mean, I can barely even play checkers.
Oh, um, well, I, I, I can't, I thought we were here to play chess, actually. Are we not playing chess today? Please do not play chubby checker.
I cannot, it's traumatizing to me. Now, if you want to trigger me, we're fat stomino.

I won't stand for that either.

I'll tell you who played checkers is my

ex-husband, David Bedore, because he would

often go down to the beach and he would

check her out, all the sluts.

Checkers. David Bedore

who only gave a

cashier

at the grocery store the checker.

Attention on my birthday.

Thank you very much.

Sorry, that took me a little while to get out.

By the way, this conversation is working.

I'm just getting a little bit of an effort.

Does anyone actually have any chess pie

since we're talking about it?

No?

It was that's Domino's favorite.

No, I have not read his biography.

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So then we go to the other girls and Tamara's like, she's guilty. Guilty on every count.
Katie's guilty. Send her to prison.
And so Katie, then we go back Katie, and Katie's like, I've apologized a hundred times. I'm sorry if I handled it incorrectly.
I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Okay, well, you know, you're saying things like, sorry if, not sorry that. So, you know, you need to say sorry that I, not sorry if I, because no one likes a sorry if I.
No one likes it I forgot what we were talking about. Please do not talk about trauma again.
Thank you. Katie's like, well, I mean, so, okay.
I, you know, here, let me try it from the top then. Here's the thing, Shannon.
You're about to say but. No, okay.
I am regretful of everything I did, but why would I? Well, there you go. Okay.
How about this? I am regretful of that. However, however, however, and the however carries across the wind, across the ocean.
An animatronic mannequin starts coming to life. It's like, Jesus Christ, and the power of Jesus Christ, please raise me up.
Leaves are swirling. They're swirling around.
Sl Slade gets out of bed you see him dusting off a mannequin and suddenly the mannequin's head pops up and it's scratching Hi I've been summoned So basically Shannon's like just stop saying but just apologize and Tamara and she's You know, it's important for me to have compassion for Katie Right now because I've been in her Situation with multiple people Coming at me multiple times and Maybe I just wish that when it happened To me someone had come to me and said I know how it feels, it would have been nice For someone to have stood up for me One of the million times yeah and also i really don't have a choice because tamra still hates me and heather still does what tamra says and emily and jina are still following whatever those two idiots do so i basically need a friend all right jennifer we're friends we're officially friends so then we go back so then we go back to tamra who tamra at one point was like here's the thing with Kitty Batch she's a silent assassin I'm like we have to stop saying silent assassin have you heard of many loud assassins assassins are not known for like walking with a boombox like hey everyone I'm gonna come kill right now. I think the silence would imply.
That girl is an extremely accomplished assassin. It's like you're complimenting her, you know? So Tamara's like, so are you guys going to go to the Katsuna Kitty Party? I mean, yeah, I mean, you've got to prove yourself to yourself that you're not going to let her get to you.
Like, that's, what happened to the Bali and whatever like aren't you supposed to be on a spiritual journey gina like shouldn't you be going to be like we had this coffee we settled things at the coffee allegedly so you should be going hoping to turn over a new leaf not to prove to yourself that you could like hang out with katie and not get mad because by the way you're gonna get mad because that's who you are gina. Well, and I also love that.
They're just like, wow, Katie, diabolical Katie inviting everybody to hot pot. What a bitch.
They're just upset. It's not Javier's.
They like, don't, they really have no idea what to do with hot pot. They're like, so confused.
They don't. And Katie's like, guys, I'm giving you all chances to make your culturally inappropriate boomer jokes.
And I'm not even getting points for this. Hot pocket! I have one of those in my purse! Here's what drives me nuts.
First of all, hot pot is not a foreign concept. In terms of, like, it's not a hard thing to conceptualize.
It's not also saying hot pot is not a hard thing to say or remember so the more they are like hot pocket am i right the more they're just like really showing their asshole like it's just like it's like look at that silly concept over there hot pot hot pot sounds like a bucket am i right yeah um so emily's like wow can you imagine the things she's done that we don't even know about? Can you imagine? Emily's still getting herself all worked up over there. So then Tamara goes, okay, everybody, here's the thing.
Last year, Katie was filming Shannon having a full-blown meltdown at our gallery shop. And they were sharing a dressing room.
And then, okay, let me explain to you, audience. A gallery shoot is what we do at the end of the season.
That's where we take our pictures and some of the airbrushes us and stuff and then shannon was being a terrible person and then katie got it all on film and then she sent it to alexis bellino you heard it here first match man uh you know tamra is so outraged um hey remember uh when we were on tour when we recapped the ireland episode and heather dubrow secretly filmed kelly dodd having a meltdown and they all laughed about it oh anyway oh yeah so it's totally this is terrible what katie did i totally agree and tamar you're just jealous you weren't holding the phone yeah because they're also always trying to prove that shannon's a monster which at this point i I believe. I mean, how many accounts do we need of Shannon just losing her shit backstage and telling everybody off and acting like a diva? I mean, we've had them filmed.
My favorite was when she was in Mexico. She was trying to run away and take off her mic.
And they're like, Shannon, no, you have to stay. It's like, not very old.
She's like screaming at the whole cast and crew and everybody. I mean, we know that she's a monster, but you know, Tamara, I would think that you'd be more loving of that videotape because it just gave you evidence.

Here's, here's the thing.

I don't think any of us are really questioning like a lot of the veracity of these allegations that everyone's saying.

It's more like making us care because I think at this point we've accepted Shannon is a mess. She becomes very activated.
She loses her mind. She's a diva.
We accept Katie is messy. She's clunky with her mess too.
She leaves a paper trail that's like easily traceable. She's not good with it.
She's talked to bloggers, quote unquote bloggers. We get it all, but like you have to actually make us want to feel like those are bad things before just accept them we're like okay that's fine it's just who they are yeah that's kind of why we love you guys like you can't try it's like you're mad at Superman for flying you know I am a little mad at Superman for flying though like walk with the rest of us yeah it's kind of unfair like you're already hot isn't that your superpower you already get everything you're like a hot like you're a hot white man who's like well worked out like you don't even have to diet or exercise whatever and you can fly fuck off i need ugly people to be able to i think we're like we need to run fast we need to get away faster you know i think we all agree with the exception of georgia from next gen new york city that superman is very privileged so she's like superman has worked for everything that he's gone through so katie really into bowling you guys so basically that's the katie like that they're saying um yeah like shannon comes in crazy and whatnot and no one no one in the audience is is surprised so tamara goes shannon was pissed off that alexis was there the same time she was and shannon started screaming and cussing and katie was on her phone with her husband and she hung up without saying anything and pressed record and showed it to Alexis.
And Gina's like, she showed it to Alexis. Oh my God.
So Katie tells her version and she goes, yeah, Shannon comes in holding her phone with bags of her hair of hair or 600 bags and her hair up here. It's all out.
And she's half asleep. And she's like screaming into the phone because that's what Shannon does all the time.
So, you know what? You know, I know I love Shannon and I love Shannon's emotional breakdowns. But Shannon's a fucking monster.
And at some point, someone at your job is going to be making fun of you and taking videos of you acting crazy i mean there's a whole subculture you know devoted to karen videos and i watch them all i love them so if you're going to act like that then be prepared to get videotaped shannon that's my favorite thing is when someone is is a total nightmare no matter what the context is but they're a nightmare and then they're horrified that someone would film them like there is a line that was crossed no you crossed the line when you started treating people like garbage so i love you but i'm not going to take the karen side okay because in those videos whenever there's like someone i was just watching a really good one what's wrong what's wrong no no i was gonna say i love shannon i'm not gonna take the karen side however i'm not gonna stand for this karen behavior if it's not gonna be put on the tv show like well that's true but that's true but i was watching a really good karen video the other day and there were actually a few comments that were like this isn't cool to tape people like this you know in public it's, I don't, we need to all stop taping each other. And that's absolutely ridiculous that someone is taping.
That's unfair to this lady. Like she's allowed to have a bad day.
No, this lady was not just having a bad day. She was abusing workers at a place, you know, whatever.
We've all seen these videos. And I'm not going to take that side.
And even for you, Shannon, if you're acting like that and somebody is sitting there, they have the right to videotape your ass. That's it.
Don't act like a jackass if you don't want it on the Internet. Okay.
And that lady was named Nicole Kidman. There, we said it.
Why does everybody say, I know Spanish. I don't know Spanish.
This is an Australian accent.

Hello, I've been sitting here for five hours and no one's even brought me a prosthetic nose yet.

So Tamara's like, yeah, Shannon was just pissed off

because Alexis, like, you know, Alexis could use that video against her.

And Gina's like, oh, my God, active lawsuit?

Like, that was an active lawsuit. She got harmed her legally.
She got harmed her. John and Alexis were making accusations that they had videos of Shannon displaying behavior that was not the best, so the last thing you want is someone videotaping you and sending it to the person you're in lawsuit with.
I mean, God forbid there's any sort of video evidence of shannon being irrational or acting a bit deranged thank goodness there's no no footage of that whatsoever and and thank god there's not a treasure trove of it going back i don't know 10 or 11 years god that would be terrible be terrible if this is the first they finally found the footage from katie's phone finally found the footage of shannon Madora. The secret footage of Shannon acting like a fucking nutcase.
So Tamara pulls her like, oh my God, what's Shannon going to do once she finds this information out that I've been sitting on until we were filming again? Is it something that I need to tell her? It's a good person. I've been going to therapy guys 77 toothpicks 77 toothpicks so emily's like no don't bring it up because it's gonna the content of the videos and get bogged down by saying that you're trying to divide divide so and so so don't bring it up whatsoever and you know gina's like got it i bring it up on behalf of tamra and then i catch all this shit and then i wonder in the midway through the season why tamra always gets away with things.
Got it. I bring it up on behalf of Tamara, and then I catch all this shit, and then I wonder in the midway through the season why Tamara always gets away with things.
Got it. Bloody hell.
So she's like, you know, I just feel bad because, like, I'm the one who brought Katie to the group, and now she's acting like this, and I feel bad. Yeah.
So Gina, she just feels so embarrassed. Gina, this was already last season.
You can't play this card for two seasons in a row. Katie's not the newbie anymore.
You can't use this as the excuse for why you're going to go after this girl anymore. That was all of last year's bullshit.
New storyline, please, from you. Thank you.
So then we go to Shannon's house, and she's going to have a wacky scene with Sophie, who's back from New York City. So Sophie's going through the fridge.
She's like, Mom, why does it smell like this? Did someone die? What? Did someone die? No, only the embers of my relationship with John Jansen. Oh, God.
Thank you, Alexis Bellino. Give me that pineapple juice.
I can smell it. Is it the pineapple juice? Is it? Teresa Chute, I said it would do something to my hoo-ha.
She's like, oh, my God, you were supposed to drink this before December 2024. I'm on a simpid.
I can't tell time anymore. I don't know.
Be quiet. I'm trying to lose weight.
Oh, well, you.

And did you notice this is such a mother-daughter thing that she does?

She goes, I'm just trying to lose weight, Sophie.

Oh, by the way, you've lost weight, Sophie.

She gives this like really tight smile.

Mothers who are constantly telling you to lose weight.

And then the second you do, they're like, oh, wow.

Thank you for trying to compete with me by losing weight. Good luck with that.
I'm bigger. I'm stronger.
I always win. I brought you into this world and I'll take you out.
Losing five pounds without my permission. Well, I guess that's what you get.
Cause I guess now you're a New Yorker. You're fancy.
You're a New Yorker, right? No, mom, you have to be there for 10 years before you're a New yorker oh thank god there's still hope so we find out that sophie has graduated and she works in sports and uh she works out every day and she eats healthy in case you couldn't tell from her healthy but um she also broke up with her boyfriend which i'm so happy about because i was really nervous that she was just gonna settle down after college and live like a boring life, you know, somewhere.

Well, Sophie was looking like the one that she was like going to get real religious, go settle down on a farm somewhere, just start popping out kids immediately, right? Like, I think that was the fear, at least for me. I was like, wow, Sophie.
And she did. But she went to New York City instead.
I mean, like, all her kids have fled Orange County and gone to liberal centers.

Yes.

I don't know if Shannon knows what to do.

I, wow, I don't know how I feel about this.

Okay.

Well, Sophie's new hobbies include paying a lot of taxes, voting for insane things, and I don't even know what they do in New York. I'm flummoxed.
I'm flummoxed. Rats and sodomy.
Well, Sophie's choice. I guess she made it.
I guess she had to choose between two things that she loves, and I guess I

wasn't part of that equation.

She chose between a

city of liberal idiots and her mother,

and the liberal idiots won.

Well, I

thought Sophie's choice was supposed to be hard,

and you were supposed to

not choose the thing that you hated, but

that's fine. You did hate that at one point,

didn't you?

So Shannon

talks about how she hasn't gone on a date Thank you. not choose the thing that you hated, but that's fine.
You did hate that at one point, didn't you?

So, Shannon talks about how she hasn't gone on a date

in a year. I guess she's not including any of

Love Island, or Love Hotel,

because she went on some dates. I got a text!

People don't

realize that I actually had

a relationship with a young man named Nicholas,

and they called us

Nicholas Shannon, and people were really obsessed with us. I only dated him because I thought he was Captain Sandy.
So, it's awkward. He made me many pancakes, which of course I could not eat because too many carbs.
But I appreciated the sentiment, and I just would throw them down at the beach and hope it would hit a slut. I'm not sure if they did.
But anyway, I loved being on Love Island. Then I went to the hotel.
Hoping they'd hit a slut. But they did.
Okay. So she's like, I have made myself very, very vulnerable.
I even had an anniversary drink for myself to celebrate how strong I became one year after my DUI. So, that's still the weirdest shit that's happened this year.
Shannon toasting herself for her DUI a year before. It's so weird.
And, you know, Love Hotel is coming out. So, you know, I i've made a lot of male friends so if i have an event to go to i've asked a few of them will you go with me and um they all said sorry i live in maryland but i said well that's just a small detail if you really liked me you would come out here and then uh they said no and so what i did was i painted a little rock and i named Ace.
And now I pretend like I'm in a relationship with someone and we're in a relationship called Chalice. So it's fun.
It's fun. So her kid's like, what does that mean, mom? Like you're dating a mailman now? Well, got to work.
So then we go to Shane sitting in a car uh he's picking up emily and emily's like oh my god shane at least you didn't drive away this time when i was trying to get in like you usually do oh wow that is so shame like whoops press the gas oh okay just walk up a little more honey ah, just kidding. Just hit the gas again.
Jane! Listen, you can't spell snarkasm without car. Am I right? Being a snarkasm.
Honk, honk. It's like, oh, my God, it's so hot in here.
I can't believe it. It might be the burrito you're wearing as a purse.
Well, that too, but geez, how make this thing work it's like honey it's an air vent they've worked the same for 50 years are you sure about that can i put a taco in it um you know look this guy's still an asshole okay i don't care what anybody says he's still an asshole but i kind of get his point i mean emily is just too much it's like oh my god i don't even make the hair work i don't even get these things open i know it's it's a bit much oh i have an update which is that on the last orange county episode i said something like i thought kelly dodd had said like i look funny more like funny looking and kelly dodd never said that that was princesses long island and i just conflated kelly dodd saying that because it just seems like something kelly dodd would say but it was actually a quote from princess love island princess long island i'm actually shocked that kelly dodd didn't say that because i would guess that in a trivia that i would attribute that to kelly don yeah you're funny funny looking that makes sense she called me funny looking so um emily is talking starts talking about luke and she's saying that luke has really declined over the past week because they went to the movies and then he like took out the like the phone flashlight and was inspecting every fry before he ate it and then he didn't want to go to school and he was being like really really difficult and she had to like get him dressed and she had to do everything um and she's just saying like you know it's a struggle and as a mother the decline really breaks my heart and she's like well i don't know why you keep saying as a mother i'm a parent too you know she's like yeah but like it's easy for you to say it because it's an isolated event he'll be fine so you know she's like okay fine then as a as a goblin how do you feel jesus shane as a king of snarkasm how do you feel about it and basically he's like you know my approach is i just want to make him feel like all of this is normal and he's not like standing out or being weird in any kind of way you know and then she just doesn't work like that you know and you know i'm not here to like mom shame someone and tell someone what they can how to deal with it i don't know i mean i would imagine that's what she's describing sounds like it would freak me out as a parent, too.

You know, you're throwing all these hurdles and I don't know the best way to deal with it. So I'm not going to judge what she's doing.
I don't love the eating disorder stuff, bringing it up on TV because that kid's got to go to school like these people. You know, it's like you're just giving kids ammunition.
And I don't know. I don't know where the line is, like what you're allowed to bring up with your kids and what you're not allowed to bring up.
But it seems like something like eating disordered stuff should be something that the kids should be able to bring up in their own time if they want to. I don't know that that's it just makes me uncomfortable with Emily doing that.
I don't like it. But of course, I don't really like Emily either.
So this just adds kind of I think it's a fair point. It's a fair point.
Like for me, I was responding to the idea that there are probably other parents out there that probably are taking great comfort in seeing a similar story on tv but i also think for the child yeah they do have to go to school and like like children are terrible and they horrible and they often have terrible parents and so their parents will probably be like well you know he has a he has a he has a arfit and then the kids are gonna go taunt him i don't know I don't know what's right. Yeah.
I'm just like, it's already feeling weird.

You know,

sort of like put this out there and put this on TV. It just feels gross to me.

So,

I mean,

I kind of get where Shane's coming from as the dad where he's like,

well,

like if you're,

if your kid is going through this extreme emotional stuff,

maybe the best thing to do is not to overreact in front of the kid

constantly.

Like maybe, but again, I'm not a parent, so I don don't really know but it's making me feel a little queasy with emily's choice yeah so now we go to jen's house and kitty and matt come over and kitty says last year matt was really hesitant to get to know ryan because of you know all the allegations surrounding the fbi and just seemed so salacious but now having gotten to know ryan there's really nothing to hate about him except you know maybe his fashion that's really rough even i mean you know now basically what we know about ryan is that he knows how to get away with crimes and that made me at matt much more comfortable so so um so there are jen's telling everyone about how they're sitting outside and she's like saying how everyone piled on Katie at the golden door. And Matt's like, I mean, who are these people that think they can just sit on a moral tower of judgment? Let's roll the clip again of Matt steering clear of Ryan because of the association with the crime.
I think that was too soon to the clip we just saw of you, Matt. Okay.
Yeah. Let's create some separation.
Listen, I totally supported him trying to steer clear of Ryan. I'd be like, look, this guy's involved in some, yeah, there's like an organized criminal over here.
I'm going to say it clear. I'm a public person on a very important golf channel.
So I don't want to be in the mix with this. I support that 100%.
But it is funny because he was sort of morally indignant. And now he's like, who are all these morally indignant people? Yeah.
So then we go to Tamara's house and she's getting renovations done. We had a problem with the sink overflowing.
I'm not sure what the hell happened in that house, but it doesn't look like an overflowing sink. I mean, what the hell? The whole place is being excavated.
It's like a housewife second season. Like, do my whole thing like is this lynn curtain's face so i was like i'm stepping on lynn's nose right now so heather comes over she's oh are you doing construction again she says that in this judgy way as if we didn't just sit and watch heather just like tear a mansion down to its studs almost for fun and now is planning on abandoning it.
Oh, really? Construction again? How interesting. Is Drake next door? Are you trying to show off for him? No, that's just me.
I see. Drake.
So they go sit up in Tamara's bedroom to Kiki. Oh, and Heather also reminds us that she's super cool, Heather, now.
I i've brought onion rings do you remember when people were upset because i wouldn't let terry eat onion rings at his own barbecue well here they are onion rings they're my thing now champs and onion rings isn't this hilarious america i'm like heather you need a new prop those are from like your County. Like just, I, at this point, I don't care.
Just find an object, do Mad Libs, find an object and talk about it a lot and make that your new thing. Because the onion rings and the champs has been played out.
So you try so hard to be iconic every season. And it cracks me up.
She's like, Oh, and you know, now, um, I have champs, but I can't leave it on. I can't leave a ring here because you remember last year I spilled espresso martinis.
Hold on. Do you remember when I broke the World Wide Web? That's what they call it.
The information superhighway cracked in half after I spilled that martini. So, yeah, because they go up to Tamara's room because Heather's like, no, let's eat dirty.
We don't need a plate. Ha ha ha ha ha.
I am cool. I am down with the people.
So there's a coaster that's there that says, don't stay in my table, dish bag. Oh, my God.
That is so funny. I love how sincere I am right now saying that this coaster is funny.
This is a very funny coaster. My kid hates it.
Tacky piece of shit. So, she goes, that's a lot in your mouth.
And Tamara's like, that's a lot in your mouth. Yeah, that's what she said.
It's a good one. Anyways, I hung out with Gretchen the other day.
Oh, God. And then here we go.
A flashback of Heather and Gretchen hugging and Heather saying, oh, my God, we match. Oh, my God, I have the same dress.
I die. And I just want to remind you that you did not get that role on Hot in Cleveland.

That was me.

Okay.

Just wonder.

Or was it Malibu country?

Either way, you are not booked and blessed.

Look at us.

We have the same looking dress, except the double C's on mine don't wash off.

Isn't that fun?

Oh, we were just laughing, me and Gretchen, about, you know, stuff we used to do.

You know, all that stuff I used to do with Gretchen.

Do you remember?

I don't either.

Did it involve onion rings?

all those things we used to do for instance i would go and hang out with reba mcintyre on her hit show malibu country while gretchen would sit there and listen to me and wait and say things

like oh aunt heather tell me another story about that superstar Reba McIntyre that I did not get to work with because I did not land that role. Wow.
We knew each other at one time when she tried to seal my career. And then it had been, what, 12, 14 years? I don't know, something like that.
And since then, we've kept in touch. Way way to sell it heather we have seen each other socially for instance when i have um run into her as she is buying things at goodwill and i am donating things so it's been really wonderful seeing her again you know that she'll come get things out of your car you don't't need to take it out yourself.
Just open the trunk and she'll get it out herself. She apparently has been serving the country as part of the Salvation Army.
So I'm so proud of her. I always thought she would be good in the army because she basically blends into anything.
She's just two eyes. You could just put her up against

a wall.

She looks like a forest

owl. And I mean that in the

kindest way.

Or an owl specifically. And so Tamara's like,

does she even have a nose?

Yeah, she has a nose. Because on Instagram

it looks like her nose is

blurred. And then we see

pictures of Gretchen

on Instagram. And they are,

those pictures are hilarious. I mean, she does

Thank you. it looks like her nose is blood.
And then we see pictures of Gretchen on Instagram, and those pictures are hilarious. I mean, she does take off her entire nose.
She even does it for her daughter. Her daughter is just like a little marshmallow with curly hair on top.
She really needs to lay off the face tune. If there's anything she takes away from coming back in the public eye, it's lay off the face tune.
It's too much. Hey everyone, this is the end of part one of this recap.
For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment.
Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half.
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