#2976 McBee Dynasty S02E08: Combine Cam Confessions

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens? I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 What's going on?

Speaker 1 I'm just sad for Jesse. You know, Jesse cried, you guys.
It's McBee Dynasty, and my boys are crying. He's just a boy.
You know how boys are. They get upset sometimes.
We got to be there for him.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesse never cries.

Speaker 1 I've never seen Jesse cry. Why he don't cry.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's McBee Dynasty Day, everybody. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1 Next Monday, we have Crappy Hour at 5.30 Pacific Time. Join us for that.
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Okay, check our social

Speaker 1 Instagram, that is, to get the link day of the episode. Okay, so today here we are with some McBee Dynasty season two, episode eight, Panic on the Combine.

Speaker 2 More like panic in my brain that this season is still going. How is this season longer than next-gen New York City? Why did it like, how does this show get more episodes than next-gen New York City?

Speaker 2 Next gen New York City was so good. And then this show is like eight episodes, no season finale in sight.
I don't understand it. It's not fair.

Speaker 1 Well, last season it was 10 episodes, so maybe they're going to stick with their 10. This show is amazing, and I need to know what happens.

Speaker 2 Fine. On the show.
Sorry, I got emotional. I know that I never get emotional.
I'm just, I'm like the Jesse McBee of this podcast.

Speaker 1 You guys, I've never seen Ben cry. Like, I just saw him cry right now.

Speaker 1 Ben, Jeffrey Bye,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, you mean Jesse and Allie?

Speaker 1 They're just such an odd couple. It's like they're just like, you know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 They seem just weird together, but

Speaker 1 I read today that she, so they end up having a baby. Spoiler alert.

Speaker 1 And the due date, so it looks like she was pregnant three months before they got married so she's probably pregnant right now and that's heightening all of this with him freaking out and they're not saying it but i think he's like oh my god i'm a dad i'm gonna be a dad i'm gonna have a i think there's a lot more going on and so him being nervous about it of course is gonna upset her more because she's like hi there i'm having our baby you're freaking out so you know there's all this stuff going on i want to know why it wasn't on the show that she was pregnant That's weird.

Speaker 1 Why are you hiding things, McBee Dynasty?

Speaker 2 Wow. Well, maybe, maybe that's going to come out, like the baby itself.
Maybe that, maybe, um, maybe in the next episode or the season finale, that'll be the big twist.

Speaker 1 I'm pregnant.

Speaker 2 So, who knows? Who knows? All sorts of crazy things happen in that city house of theirs. But last we saw in the McBean Dynasty, the boys took one of their fame-infamous trips to Nashville.

Speaker 2 They sure do know how to find Trebo. And then we see see them all there partying at a bar.

Speaker 1 And while bargoers are going, USA,

Speaker 1 USA, USA. To anybody who might have been lost and thought they were in a different country.

Speaker 1 I love when people shout that.

Speaker 1 Can we all just have a country check? Where are we? God, I've had a lot of drinks. Are we in France right now? We're in the USA, you idiot.
US, what's happening, boys?

Speaker 2 But back home, the girls, why they were waiting with their marron scratched. And then we see all the girls sitting there on the couch in Jesse's house with the blue walls.

Speaker 2 And Casey is like, Cole, I'm so sick of setting boundaries and you

Speaker 2 ignoring them and such.

Speaker 1 But Cole wasn't the only one catching hell about the trip. Look at Christie drinking 9,000 calories in one latte thing.

Speaker 1 So Christie's there with her gigantic cream drink, whatever the fuck that.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's been bothering me all week, that christy is that thin with whatever she's drinking because that just looks like me i just i want it it triggers my binge it triggers my binge my binge

Speaker 1 binge

Speaker 2 it opens up my dribble door so uh

Speaker 2 he's so she's like the timing of the trip was not good it's like what am i supposed to do sit alone at my house all day every day stupid mother You're the most pessimistic person I've ever heard about Nashville trips.

Speaker 1 I smell trouble.

Speaker 1 And Seven has been trying to move on from cala for reals this time but here's the kicker i'm still thinking about cala and pretty boy finally opened up that he's nervous about getting married as boys are they're just boys

Speaker 1 we see jesse like i'm scared about we see jake going are you nervous about getting married and jesse going yeah

Speaker 1 Look at that opening up he just did. It's like a floodgate over there.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 What a twist.

Speaker 1 someone is nervous ahead of their wedding day let's build an entire episode off of this this thing that's never happened in in humankind well let's let's start this story off in gallatin missouri otherwise known as not good enough to be gelatin missouri so cole is driving this episode is really big on trying to make us believe that these boys go drive the combines every day and i just don't believe it they look extremely confused in the combines

Speaker 2 yeah they really they really do So they're driving along in this big old thing.

Speaker 2 But they stop to talk to Jake, the farmhand, and Jesse. And so Cole's like, well, I'm hoping for about 45 bushels this year.

Speaker 2 I mean, some beans were balancing, so it's hard to, so it's a little dry out.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 So Jake's like, we'll keep on ruining. So now Jesse hops in the combine and it's time for him to go combining.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Cole's like, well, corn harvest is underway, but we also need to get ready for soybean harvest.
So I I need to get these combines cutting as fresh as possible.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be the best soybean crop I've ever grown. It's going to be $900 a bushel.
It's going to be $1,000 a bushel. I don't know.
It could be $5 million a bushel. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm going to save this family. You just watch.
You just watch.

Speaker 1 You just watch. Pretty boy does nothing but nothing.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Sorry.
I just ran over a VW book. Thank God those things are small.
Get out of the road, hippie.

Speaker 2 So then, meanwhile, Stephen goes and picks up his mom, Christy, in his truck. And he's like, he gets in and he's like, sorry, I'm just going to take some Dayquil.

Speaker 2 Hold on one second, which I was like, are you allowed to take Dayquil and drive?

Speaker 2 I mean, I guess that's the one that keeps you alert, but like, there's just something funny about like, I don't know why him's announcing he's going to take some Dayquil just as he starts driving.

Speaker 2 And then he's like, you know, not to make excuses for anything, but the other day at the coffee shop, I just wasn't feeling too hot. Okay.

Speaker 2 So I've been working out a lot and I don't feel hot. And so she's like, oh, that's okay.

Speaker 2 And we see him arguing about,

Speaker 2 you know, we see a flashback to when she was telling him it was a bad time to go to Nashville. And,

Speaker 2 you know, Christy's basically saying,

Speaker 2 like,

Speaker 2 Stephen's mood is what caused the breakup with Calla.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's like, well, obviously, when things are good, it makes you think the relationship is good.

Speaker 1 So maybe I should stay, you know, because me and Calla, we have had some good times, mostly talking about what hillbilly fucks my brothers are. That's been fun.

Speaker 1 She's like, I know, you know, but these past three years have really taken a toll on you. I I mean, look at you.
One of your eyes is closed more than the other one now.

Speaker 1 You're turning into a carom. I think you need to give yourself a chance at a meeting other girls because someone's going to make her happy, but that person is not you.

Speaker 1 That person is some kind of a gallery owner or something in Dallas. Have you seen the social media stuff she's been doing for this gallery in Dallas?

Speaker 2 Have I been keeping up with Cala's social media?

Speaker 2 Have I been actively pausing anything happening in my life to go see, what is up to? The answer is no, I have not.

Speaker 1 What do you want to know?

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell you. And I'm going to go look right now, of course.

Speaker 1 She

Speaker 1 doesn't know if she's dating somebody with a gallery or what. She's somehow hooked up with this gallery now.
She's working at this gallery and she's doing the social for the gallery.

Speaker 1 And she's like, I, wow, look at this gallery. This gallery is my favorite gallery to go to for art in the Dallas area.
And then they show her with some other blonde girl.

Speaker 1 And she's like, Do you know anything about this artist, Scrooge McDuck? And she's like, Scrooge McDuck is like one of my favorite artists.

Speaker 1 The way they mix the glamour in with like the artistness of the piece is really something. And the girl's like, Yeah, I really love art.
She's like, Yeah, me too. I'm so into art.

Speaker 1 Come to this art gallery to see some art.

Speaker 2 Cala is the person who buys like the whale art. She's the one who

Speaker 2 you're always like, who buys these wretched paintings? It's Cala. She's like, it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 she's like, please help get back with Cala. I hate her.
So they drive by Masha and Stephen goes, well, there's Russian number two, Mama. And she's like, that's Masha.
I've never seen her before.

Speaker 1 Gosh, I've pictured her with a sledgehammer in her hand or something.

Speaker 2 Never seen her before, but haven't you, haven't you seen Masha before in the mirror and by looking at Galena?

Speaker 1 You're all from the DNA goop, like the same goop of DNA. Like, come on, you've seen her.
What if it all thought that Christie was really the one kidnapping chickens and sledgehammering the cars?

Speaker 2 I would love that. That would be great.
That would be great. Because they're all Targaryens and they're all crazy.

Speaker 1 But every time

Speaker 1 they show up on camera, they all look the same. So you can't really tell who's who.
Christy's been getting away with it this whole time.

Speaker 2 So now we go to Jesse and Allie's farmhouse, and Casey is sitting in the kitchen while Allie is trying to make some sort of food.

Speaker 2 And Casey's like, hmm, being one of the girls in this family of boys can be tough. So I'm really happy Allie and I have each other's backs.

Speaker 2 Yes, Allie and Casey.

Speaker 2 They have each other's backs. That way they can finally let out all that charisma they've been holding up on the inside.

Speaker 1 I was going to to say, whenever these two come on screen together, I'm like, wait a minute, hold it back, close the gates, because charisma is about to start banging through here.

Speaker 1 Charisma is about to fill our lives.

Speaker 2 And are we watching Buffy the Vampires there? Because I could swear that Charisma Carpenter is on screen right now. What is happening?

Speaker 1 Hey, Allie, let's have a discussion. I can't believe y'all have been together since you were 16.
That's a long time. And Allie's like, yeah, we were babies.

Speaker 1 I was a bit of like a cougar, I'll admit it, but at least I waited till he could drive.

Speaker 1 What helped keep us on a good foot is that we were best friends before we were in a relationship.

Speaker 1 And I think that helps because, you know, we're high school sweethearts and like we were babies when we met, but we've been through so much in life together. We've grown so much together.

Speaker 1 I've done so many cross countries.

Speaker 2 We've been through so much together. For instance, I did a triathlon once.

Speaker 2 He harvested some soybeans once.

Speaker 2 We went to Marshalls once and bought like a little sign that said wine served here.

Speaker 2 Things like that. It's been through a lot.

Speaker 1 Well, I think there's a preconceived notion that high school sweethearts end up in divorce and don't make it. But I think we're going to break that cycle.

Speaker 2 How many years did it take for him to propose to you again? Just going to ask this one to know.

Speaker 1 years how many years do you give them i'm gonna give them actually a long time i'm gonna give them 12 years

Speaker 2 uh yeah okay my feeling is this my experience is that if you've been wanting to be if you've been waiting for the question to be popped for like more than two years probably if you've been or i shouldn't say if you've been waiting for like five or six years

Speaker 2 it's it's gonna it's not gonna go well i'm just saying this from my experience with people i've known where this has happened where you're like you're really just like like being like are you gonna pop the question you're gonna pop the question and then finally he's like okay i'll pop the question it's like it usually does not end so well and so i kind of get the sense that that's what happened with these two right because she makes jokes about that like well it finally popped the question or am i misreading their backstory Well, yeah, it took a while, but they're also raised by this monster and they're all not supportive of each other because they think that their dad wouldn't like them getting married.

Speaker 1 So it's like they feel guilty getting married. It's weird.

Speaker 1 like he's like oh god i can't believe i'm doing this to my family and then his family's like well you're gonna have her son a prenup right yeah because if you don't she can't be part you know she you can't be part of the business no more so they're stressing him you know and they're all telling him like your marriage is gonna end what's the point marriage sucks because that's what their dad tells them yeah

Speaker 2 Well, and also they just sort of seem like they're on autopilot a little bit. Like they've just only been with each other since 16.

Speaker 2 And like, I know there's like high school, high school sweethearts can go and have big, long, lifelong marriages. And it's like amazing when that happens.
Those are such lovely stories.

Speaker 2 But you kind of get the sense that these two are like,

Speaker 2 I don't know. They're like, well, we're together because we're supposed to be together.
Like she's like, she like wants to be down in the city. He wants to be up in the farm.

Speaker 2 She like, I don't know, like you just sort of sense like they're just a couple of inertia.

Speaker 1 I also think there's no one in Gallatin. You know, we talked about this last week with Steven, like, there is no one today.
What am I supposed to do? There's nobody here.

Speaker 1 There are no boobies in this town so i'm wondering if it's just like optionless but she has options because she's working in the big city yeah and then again when they get together i mean their banter just does not stop i mean it is like chatter chatter chatter chatter chatter all the

Speaker 2 chemistry just like yeah

Speaker 1 he finishes her sentences she finishes his sentences it's like these two were made for each other i know the conversation is sparkling so it's like you know maybe they would be attracted to somebody else but who else are they going to have that kind of repartee with?

Speaker 1 I know. Am I right? I mean, how else are you going to find somebody else to use dot, dot, dot multiple times in one sentence? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Every pot has a lid, and this lid is specifically shaped for

Speaker 2 Jesse. This is just a, you know.

Speaker 1 Guys, Jesse. is doing the compound.
He's the compound. And on the screen, we see compound cam.
Don't, don't, don't. It's like black and white.
And there's music playing. It's like really sad music.

Speaker 1 Jesse's like, compound cam.

Speaker 1 Combining the land out there by yourself. Combining the land, sorry, I should say.
You have a lot of time to think.

Speaker 1 Watch, I'm going to do it right now. Dot, dot, dot.

Speaker 1 Dot, dot, dot.

Speaker 1 Dot, dot, dot. Forgot what I was saying.

Speaker 2 Every time I think about marriage, I start sweating. My heart feels like it's beating out of my chest.
When I feel that stress blowing up, I don't really know what to do.

Speaker 2 So I just sort of get quiet again and just keep on combining.

Speaker 1 Combine cam, complete.

Speaker 2 It was just like a guy

Speaker 2 sitting in like a cockpit, like a driver's seat, just like looking bored. I was laughing so hard more combining.

Speaker 1 I was laughing so hard that they're like, combine cab. And it's in black and white.
And they just show and they're like, Jesse is having a nervous breakdown to really sad music.

Speaker 1 And he's like, yeah, combining. It's hard.

Speaker 2 We all know he's stressing out because when he's combining out there alone, he's listening to Carly Ray Jepson. He's like, I don't know if I should tell my family.
I listen to Carly Ray Jepson.

Speaker 1 I wish. Oh, my God.
I want him so bad. It's all I want.

Speaker 1 It's all I'm asking for life is Jesse. So inside the McBee Farm Country Kitchen.
So Jesse comes in and Steven's there and he's like, equipment keeps breaking on us.

Speaker 1 Well, I heard there was a fire out there. What happened with that? What is going to happen with fire and soybeans? We need $6 million by November 6th or we are fucked.

Speaker 1 This whole family is going under. Do you understand? He's like, well, thankfully I had an extinguisher under my seat.
He goes, the fire was that bad?

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you heard about a fire on a fucking combine, yeah, bro.

Speaker 2 Maybe Jesse's panic attack is because he's riding this massive machine that last week the wheel went flying off and this week caught on fire.

Speaker 2 and the other week didn't have brakes and crashed into another one. What are these people doing with these machines? Do they know how to maintain them? Jesus.

Speaker 1 What is happening? I fixed it, but you know, I had a little bit of a freak out moment. I don't know if you caught Combine Cam on TV, but,

Speaker 1 you know, I had to look up symptoms and stuff. And I think it's called an anxiety attack.
And it's, oh, you felt, did you feel like you were having a heart attack? He goes, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, well, not like I feel nervous, but I'm so nervous about the wedding. Like, I keep thinking about when, you know, we were younger and all we saw in marriage was mom and dad fighting.
So, like,

Speaker 1 what do married people have to look forward to?

Speaker 1 Not being like your brothers, for one thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 what do single people have to look forward to? Nothing. I mean, same thing either way.
Either way, you're getting older and you're dying sooner.

Speaker 1 So just, you might as well do it with someone you like if that's your thing.

Speaker 2 So he says, when it comes to marriage, I'm a little jaded, I guess, because based on my experience with my parents and seeing how dysfunctional it was, is that how my life is going to be?

Speaker 2 Well, you're still a farmer. Okay.
And you didn't get scared off from your dad on that. So I don't know.
We just, I don't know. It should've get off the pot at this point.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what's going to be better? You're going to not get married to the woman that you love since you were a teenager and then end up what? Like your dad? He seems super happy.

Speaker 1 I mean, why would that option look better?

Speaker 1 I think he just doesn't want to disappoint his family and his family is like you getting married is huge disappointment the guys and stephen doesn't make him feel any better you know he's like i mean marriage is a big deal but it's not like your life is over technically exactly and he's like well but then i got lightheaded yesterday i felt like i was gonna pass out and stephen just goes hmm

Speaker 1 that's horrible dude why don't you tell him you love her there's no reason for you to be nervous you guys have been together forever don't let dad freak you out you do what you need to do but instead he's like hmm i got nothing to say to you um i can't say pussy on tv so i'm really at a loss

Speaker 2 yeah um i i just only wish i cared enough to feel bad for jesse right now because he's like i just i didn't want to tell allie and make her nervous thinking that i'm nervous and it's nothing to do with allie anyway but obviously she's too good for me in the first place being a city woman and such and being around all the busy people and the sidewalks and such but being 30 and everything just makes you wonder if there's someone something else out there for you know you ever see that five o' movie and he's like somewhere out there what if there's like i don't know a sister i could be

Speaker 1 that'd be great i could be out there fucking a mouse in a cartoon but instead here i am sweatshop

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm in combines all day. I could be just floating around in a bottle looking for some sweet, sweet mouse tang.

Speaker 2 but you know have a quick you ever get an erection when you listen to linda ronstadt because that's been happening to me lately

Speaker 1 actually yes so

Speaker 1 um

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Speaker 1 So it's like, yeah, you know, and then you start wondering, like, I'm 30. I'm not going to have a chance to ever find anything again.
Maybe I just wasted it all. At 30, everything's over.

Speaker 1 Oh, for Christ's sake.

Speaker 1 30?

Speaker 1 That's it?

Speaker 2 Well, sweet, sweet Jesse, here's what you do. You suppress these feelings.
You have your wedding for Bravo.

Speaker 2 And then later on, you just cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat and say, oh, I just didn't know. I wanted to see what else was out there because we know he's, this is what he's going to do.

Speaker 2 This is his trajectory. It'll be a whole scandal.
And it's just going to be like, well, I was with the same woman all my life. How was I supposed to know? So just save us all the time and the effort.

Speaker 1 Just go on with your yeah, he'll always have that built in. He'll always have that built-in excuse and things to flash back to.

Speaker 1 Although I don't get a douchebag vibe from Jesse because I do really like Jesse and I think he's, I think he's nice. I mean, not just because he's

Speaker 2 seem nice.

Speaker 1 But I think he seems sweet. I don't think he seems like he's going to be a big cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, but I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I mean, he goes to Nashville all the time and he hasn't been caught cheating, but then I think in season one, he alluded to cheating on her before getting in trouble.

Speaker 2 I don't get cheating vibes from him, but also I'm just saying, like, we've all seen this before with all these relationships. Like, this is what happens.

Speaker 2 He's going to have a midlife crisis at some point and he'll cheat. Like, I just think it's just,

Speaker 2 there's too many odds working against him, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, I guess time will tell. I guess we'll see in season 10 of this show.

Speaker 1 Can't wait.

Speaker 2 Can't wait to get this update. Can't wait for this show to be a surprise success, and we're stuck with it for the rest of our podcast.

Speaker 2 Do we know how this show is doing, by the way? Is it doing well? Is it not doing well? Are people watching it?

Speaker 1 I don't know, but I'll look it up while you continue this next scene.

Speaker 2 Okay. Well,

Speaker 2 Stephen calls Cole. And Stephen's like, Steve's like, Cole, Jesse just broke down to me.
Yeah, he cried. That's right.

Speaker 2 he cried i am i think he's having second thoughts out of this world i've never seen him cry i started laughing in his face i pointed in his face i said pussy you're a little pussy we always knew you were a pussy we just waited for the evidence and now he gave it to us god i have never seen someone more pessimistic about crying before and you are disgusting disgusting trash you little

Speaker 1 boy go back to kindergarten and cry like the little girl that you are

Speaker 2 If you're going to cry, why don't you cry on cold stupid crops that are underperforming by 50 bushels per bushel?

Speaker 1 Okay. Cole's like, hey,

Speaker 1 what?

Speaker 2 He didn't cry. Wait, he cried.
Wow. I can't believe he cried.
He cried. A grown man cried.
Can you believe it? He cried. And he cried worse than you cried when you cried the other day in the truck.

Speaker 2 Well, no, I didn't cry. I'm tough.
I don't cry. I don't cry.
I'm tough. I'm a tough guy who doesn't cry.
You cried after that. A hill beat you.
You tried to bunch a hill and you lost a hill.

Speaker 2 And then you cried. Don't forget that either.
Both of you guys cry and you're both pussies. Pussy bitches.

Speaker 1 I've changed. I don't know what you're talking about.
I never found that hill or nothing. I'm a different person I was a year ago.
Why can't nobody understand that I've changed?

Speaker 1 Okay, I looked up the ratings on at Ratings Bravo on X. Love you.
Love your work.

Speaker 1 Last week, they had 0.287, so 287,000 viewers, and it was the series low in total viewers. And their lead-in show, Below Deck,

Speaker 1 had

Speaker 1 about 7.5 million viewers, and it was their season high. So they lost a lot of that audience.
So not good. I don't know how many people are on Peacock because it started on Peacock.

Speaker 1 So, maybe a lot more people watch it there.

Speaker 2 And again, ratings don't really are really a small part of the picture these days. They use different metrics, but I was just curious to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, not good, basically.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 Jesse's like, well, you know, wait. Oh, we already did that part.
Sorry, I was looking up ratings.

Speaker 2 Sunrise over the McBee Firmies.

Speaker 1 We're in a good song right now.

Speaker 1 Get Trixie.

Speaker 1 What's Trixie Monocle's name on here? Trixie. Trixie McMonacle.
Let's get Trixie McMonacle out here to sing for us. Grab a bottle out from underneath the front seat.

Speaker 1 You won't find me drinking in the city.

Speaker 1 I just need my dirt road whiskey.

Speaker 1 I ain't drinking in the city. What am I?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I'm going to have some dirt road whiskey. It's only kind worth having.
You got whiskey in the bottle. I want whiskey in the bean can.

Speaker 2 And then we got my favorite scene of the episode because I didn't understand why it was here, except that I did enjoy that.

Speaker 2 I thought it was a very warm, lovely little scene that had nothing to do with anything. We see this guy named Wykus

Speaker 2 and he pulls up in a combine and Tessa's just standing by the side of the road. Just standing there.
And she's like, hey, I got something for you.

Speaker 2 Remember when you said you wanted some beers for helping me last night? Here are some beers. So she gives him some beers.

Speaker 2 And Wykus is like, thanks. Oh, they're root beers.
That's what you wanted, right?

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 she just gives root beers and they laugh. And is Wykus her son or something? Like, who is Wykus?

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's like, didn't you want root beers?

Speaker 1 I got root beers and third ring and a beer.

Speaker 2 I just like the idea of Tessa winning on the side of the road for hours. Oh, that combine's coming soon.
These jokes will be real good. You give them root beers.

Speaker 1 Tessa laughed out about 97 cigarettes for five minutes.

Speaker 1 So then we go to the White Iron Ridge wedding venue. And it's a big barn house because what else would it be?

Speaker 1 You know, and I'm glad they decided not to get married at the family barn and instead hire a slightly fancier barn to get married in.

Speaker 1 Making a big deal.

Speaker 2 So Allie's like, remember this place? And he's like, yep, still what? Still a barn.

Speaker 2 Okay, just there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm just like, just like you.

Speaker 1 So they meet the wedding planners. Amanda, she's like, hi, guys.

Speaker 1 I'm Amanda. So let's go over some aesthetic options.
You guys excited? Here we are for the wedding. Excited for the wedding, Jesse.

Speaker 1 Jesse's like, oh my God, I've got my jeans pulled up real tight today i can tell you that much

Speaker 2 i just want to be back in the combine kanban kanban he's like honestly this wedding is what allie and her family want and i'm just scared at the moment scared of flowers and chairs i don't like it so then we go to cole's house so cole pulls up and he's like well I got an interesting phone call from Steven.

Speaker 2 He said Jesse's nervous about next week and had a panic attack and he was out on the tractor. Can you believe it? A panic attack on the tractor

Speaker 2 what kind of crazy lip stuff is this case is like he had a panic attack because he's getting married he wants to marry ellie i'd hope so oh can you believe a panic attack oh come on

Speaker 1 so back to the venue amanda's like oh allie you look so happy and jesse you look

Speaker 1 okay well jesse's not gonna smile jesse is facing a corner like he's in the blair witch project okay well let's uh let's look look.

Speaker 2 Jesse, you want a baby Ruth? You want a little? We got a juice box for you, Jesse. You want to, you want to come out? You want to say hi? No, Jesse.
No? Okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1 Ollie's like, yeah, it's about time for this to look at a wedding place.

Speaker 1 And Amanda's like, Jesse, how long did it take you to pop the question?

Speaker 1 He's like, about 10 and a half years, I think.

Speaker 1 Actually, we've been together for 12, Jesse. So

Speaker 1 we've been together for 12 years.

Speaker 2 She likes to round up.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 then everyone goes outside and Allie's like, okay, he is going to build a hexagon arbor. So that'll be done, right? Right, Jesse? You are going to be making the hexagon arbor.

Speaker 2 You always said hexagon arbor. You always said our relationship is like a hexagon arbor,

Speaker 2 a square that was actually six-sided and has trees on it. Okay, so you're going to make that, right? He's like, yeah, I'll make a hexagon arbor.

Speaker 1 And then back to Cole.

Speaker 1 Cole's like, I think he just knows it's going to be a big change, and he's afraid he won't be fun anymore or something, or he won't be able to call it his friends or nothing like that.

Speaker 1 And Casey's like, yeah, but it's a good change, right? Like, I mean, it's not a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to grow up, you know.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't think I'd feel good about knowing that he was having panic attacks before getting married.

Speaker 1 So I think they need to have that conversation about it, maybe before they get married or something.

Speaker 2 Who gave her a lobotomy because I think she gets she should get her money back this is just like

Speaker 1 they didn't go far enough

Speaker 1 yes

Speaker 1 please you're like more lobotomy that lobotomy was too subtle

Speaker 1 she's listening to Casey draw on about any point that she makes and I say this as someone who is long-winded himself but like Jesus God you're on TV lady come on be snappy well it's dress a plan and takes away from the day you know because weddings are hard like it's supposed to be about you You know, it's supposed to be a small thing weddings, you know That's why me and you we're gonna get married at the back of the farm or something We're gonna have like a party and pickup truck You know, it's gonna be like we're gonna have like a like those things you do before the football games, you know like a truck a truck back thing.

Speaker 1 What are they called?

Speaker 1 Tailgating.

Speaker 1 Tailgating. We're gonna be tailgating.
We're gonna have tailgate partying in the back of the barn. That's what we're gonna do.

Speaker 1 We're just gonna put out something on Facebook that's like, hey, everybody's here. If you want to come get shit faced, let's do it.
My baby's drunk.

Speaker 2 i mean i don't know what's more offensive that he wants to have their wedding as just like a like a cake party at the barn or that he's going to invite everyone over facebook

Speaker 1 case he's not loving it

Speaker 2 you just see her she's like you just see the look on her face she's like i attached my ride to the wrong horse like this is like yeah she's like she just she is she is committed to this i mean she's pregnant She's pregnant.

Speaker 2 So she's like, I'm going to see this through, but she just sees what her life is going to be.

Speaker 1 And it's not good this is not a fairy tale it's not good so she's like but i don't think yeah like it shouldn't be so stressful would you quit interrupting me sorry i think being stressed out yeah you know what like we should get married in a barn god damn it

Speaker 1 i mean she's having panic attacks but marriage is like a big thing you know

Speaker 2 The McBee men aren't good at expressing emotion, except maybe anger, which is why I'm staying in this relationship, of course. It's like, how many red flags do you need? Like, come on, Casey.

Speaker 2 You may be boring as hell. You may be deeply uninteresting, but you still deserve better than one of these guys.
Go off to the big city and find yourself a new cowpoke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Casey's so cute. I don't know what she's putting up with this guy for.
Casey's beautiful.

Speaker 1 She's sweet.

Speaker 1 I was about to say she's beautiful. She's intelligent.

Speaker 1 She's sweet. She loves the monster.
She loves a lunchable. I mean, there's a big market for that.

Speaker 2 I feel like there was a period of time when she was interesting, and that cold just drained it all out of her. And I think she needs to go somewhere where she can be

Speaker 2 like, she can be like, you know, how like your body needs electrolytes? She needs personality lights, and they just need to

Speaker 2 be injected back into her. Cause I know that she had them at some point.

Speaker 1 She needs behind her eyes lights.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 there is definitely

Speaker 2 is definitely a darkness back there.

Speaker 1 So we go back to the venue and now they're kind of

Speaker 1 rehearsing and Jesse's standing where he's supposed to stand and they're like, Jesse, you're on the wrong side, Jesse. The groom stands on the other side, dummy.

Speaker 1 And Amanda's like, hey, Jesse, what's stressing you out exactly? And he goes, oh, well, you know, just mostly her. She goes,

Speaker 1 he looks terrified. And Ali's like, Jesse, it's going to be here before you know it, Jesse.
And you're standing on the wrong side. He's like, Oh, God, get me out of this.

Speaker 2 Oh, man, will he ever be able to build that hexagonal arbor?

Speaker 2 I just don't know. That's probably why he's stressed because he's sitting there combining instead of building some sort of single-use hexagon arbor.

Speaker 1 So, is it even called an arbor? It's not called an arbor. I don't know.
I don't know what you guys are talking about, honestly.

Speaker 2 You know, it's like the thing, it's not an arbor, it's um trellis, maybe is what

Speaker 1 oh hexagonal arbor isn't what you're thinking of. It's at least I looked it up, and it's just basically like a big stop sign that you hang lights and stuff in, but you don't stand in it.

Speaker 1 It looks pretty small.

Speaker 2 I guess it is called an arbor.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like a, you know, it's like a big

Speaker 2 It's like a basically

Speaker 1 to stand under while you get married, I guess, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 It's fine. That's cute.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's cute. It's cute enough.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is big enough to stand under. So it's cute.
Like, people take them to the beach and they

Speaker 1 stand under him under the beach or whatever.

Speaker 2 Let's go to Independence, Missouri.

Speaker 2 All the towns are independent. Throw your arms up at me.

Speaker 1 Throw your combines at me.

Speaker 1 Ow!

Speaker 1 Sorry, sorry there, Tessa. Someone threw a combine at me.
Gee, sorry for being single.

Speaker 2 We're at Hereford House restaurant, or maybe it's pronounced here ford, as in you go there, and they're like, Here, you just gotta Ford.

Speaker 2 Um, Christy and Cole sit down

Speaker 2 for a nice mother potato chat, and Christy is like, I she's like, I can't believe I'm having a girl.

Speaker 1 You're having a girl.

Speaker 2 I mean, I mean, you're having a girl. I'm not having a girl, but I feel like we're all having a girl.
I'm like, Trust me, you're having a girl.

Speaker 1 You're having a girl. You will be raising that child, ma'am.

Speaker 1 You will be,

Speaker 2 you will be the one, okay? yeah

Speaker 2 i'm excited to be a girl dad but nervous there's a lot i need to learn about how a girl thinks

Speaker 1 god forbid i do while i'm actually in a relationship with one

Speaker 2 how about we start with hygiene and then you can work to up to like how a girl thinks yeah how about like wipe the mustard off your shirt well start there okay

Speaker 2 let's start with some basics okay

Speaker 2 how about hills should not be punched? Because it's a futile exercise.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Christy's like, well, I don't know if Stephen and Calla think that marriage is in their future, but I can tell you it shouldn't be.

Speaker 1 It shouldn't be in their future. And he's like, well, I know how you feel about me getting married, you know, with Casey and me.

Speaker 1 I'm not like all the way there yet, though, mama, you know, because like maybe after the baby's born, the house is done, stuff like that, maybe we could be out there.

Speaker 1 Or maybe by the time she's talking about us, she'll be ready, you know? And it's like, well, your little girl needs her parents married.

Speaker 1 You know, your little girl can't go through divorce unless she's got married parents

Speaker 1 well but the problem is i want to price out an elk hunt first before the ring budget like an elk hunt how much is an elk hunt he goes well it's not like 12 grand i mean they're pretty expensive you know i guess i could push that back though to after i get a ring she's like yeah maybe maybe we should prioritize a wedding over an elk over a murdering elk okay wait what if i invite everyone on Facebook Messenger and say, hey, come to the elk hunt, but it's actually a wedding.

Speaker 2 That way you kill two birds and an elk with one stone.

Speaker 1 I'd really rather not put your wife and child in danger, Cole. Well, that's a good point.

Speaker 1 But, you know, she's like, you know what we should do since you're completely unsure about this? Let's go look for wedding rings right now.

Speaker 1 I know a wedding store right in the parking lot of Hereford's. So let's go right out in the back.

Speaker 1 They get in the car. And they say two sentences and they're like, I don't even think there was a marriage.
And they're like right in front of, you know, Zane.

Speaker 2 Bill's jewelry discount center.

Speaker 2 So he walks in in his t-shirt and he's like, look at it. Wow, look at this.
Wow. So they walk into Drennan.
It's actually called Drennan Jewelry.

Speaker 1 Come to Drennan Jewelry. The best jewelry you can get from Mr.

Speaker 2 Drennan himself.

Speaker 2 So this guy, Steve, is there. And Chrissy's like, we're looking for engagement rings.
And Steve is like, okay, for who?

Speaker 1 For a call here.

Speaker 2 Is there a different... This one right here.
This one's getting, this one found someone.

Speaker 2 Wait a second. There is someone who would actually want to fuck this man?

Speaker 2 Okay. Christy, I love you, but this joke, you cannot be pranking me like this on TV.

Speaker 1 You can't just be bringing people in from off the streets, Christy. This is a serious business.
Now, I know we went to high school together, but could you bring me something serious?

Speaker 1 No, he's right on the married. That's my son.
And you're admitting to this sack of shit being your son. Aren't you?

Speaker 2 This sentient marshmallow is getting engaged. Are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 All right, let me see if I can find a ring shape inspired by burp. All right, let me see what I got around here.

Speaker 2 All right, let me see what we've got from the Frosty the Snowman collection because that's what you brought in to me, basically.

Speaker 2 Cranking up the heat as high as I can go, and he's still not melting.

Speaker 1 Okay, do you know what kind of cut you want? He's like, Well, she's told me before, but I'm not real sure. I don't remember what kind she said.
I think it was like a rectangle or something.

Speaker 1 He's like, Okay, well, that's called the radiant cut, which no one is ever going to confuse you with. Okay,

Speaker 1 there's a cushion cut. Got that, spades,

Speaker 2 emeralds.

Speaker 1 Cushion cut.

Speaker 2 Coal, they call them coal cushion cut nookie.

Speaker 2 Yellow gold is popular. White gold is energy.
He's like, I'll take the white gold. Black gold, no further.

Speaker 1 Oh, whoa, okay. I stand for white gold.
I'll tell you that right now.

Speaker 2 He's like, I don't know anything about diamonds, so this is all new to me. I've been looking up on Facebook to see what I can find, but so far I'm just getting a lot of money.

Speaker 1 Oh, Facebook marketplace.

Speaker 1 Well, so how much do you think a two-carat diamond ring would cost? He's like, I don't know, maybe two elk.

Speaker 1 okay uh

Speaker 1 maybe look it up on your phone son so he pulls out his phone and he looks and he's like whoa that's a lot more than two grand I need to take a loan out for that it's crazy that's a lot of money commercials

Speaker 1 here comes one right now

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Speaker 2 Picture this.

Speaker 4 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 4 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 4 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 4 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 4 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 4 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.

Speaker 1 So we come back and Steve is like, okay, here's a thin rectangular. Okay, that should be our goal for the future.

Speaker 1 Go ahead and try this on.

Speaker 2 Buddy. But wait a second, this is an orange.
Well, why would it be orange? Well, you said it was a carrot ring.

Speaker 2 Okay. Chrissy, I'm going to have to have you remove your son from my store.

Speaker 1 Are terrorists even hitting carrots? What do we get them from China?

Speaker 2 Okay. If I listen, I didn't know carrots were this expensive.
Guess what? Okay, Steven, I've got a great new idea. Next week, next year, we grow carrots.

Speaker 2 Okay, they're selling for thousands of dollars.

Speaker 1 So the price of this ring is 10 grand. And

Speaker 1 Cole's like, wow, it's so weird. You know, like, I'm going from my dad who says marriage is a prison sentence to my mom, who's all about getting married for a baby.

Speaker 1 You know, I just, I do think Casey wants to get married until after the baby, but I mean, I don't know. If it's the right person at the right time, why wait? Well, that's kind of the point.

Speaker 1 You're not the right person, dude. Like, you're still getting so fucked up that you're telling your boyfriend's girlfriend in front of everybody you want to eat her ass out at the Lake of the Ozarks.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't think you're ready, sir. I don't think she's ready for you.
You're going to have to do a lot of changing, Cole.

Speaker 2 I don't think she's ready for this, Jelly.

Speaker 2 So.

Speaker 1 Which, by the way, all this acting like Casey's not going to marry Cole is crazy. I mean, aren't they already married? I'm going to look it up.

Speaker 1 Don't wait for me.

Speaker 2 Nothing says I'm just going to settle for the rest of my life than Casey's face. Like, this is this.
She is, she is this, the original settler of Catan. She's just like a settler of Coltan.

Speaker 2 So now we go over to Cornerstone Coffee. They keep on going to these, these

Speaker 2 shitty-looking coffee shops. Are there like, is there like, is there just a better option in any of these places for them? They just, so they go and Steven gets a coffee.

Speaker 2 And he's like, you know, I've been thinking about what my family has said about meeting Kyle over the last three years and how it might be beneficial to try to meet someone new, someone I don't have to negative history with.

Speaker 2 And then so they're leading up, it's sort of like they're making it seem like he's going on a date, which we know he's never going to go on a date.

Speaker 1 We know it's going to be I was interested to see what he could pull though in Gallatin. And honestly, I thought for one second, I hope it's Brooke.

Speaker 1 I hope it's his dad's ex-girlfriend because he actually had some chemistry with Brooke, you know, and she's wanted to make B. So maybe, I thought maybe it was going to be Brooke, but it was actually

Speaker 1 Cala.

Speaker 1 no one's surprised. No one is surprised here.

Speaker 2 Oh, Cala, Cala, Cala.

Speaker 2 So then Steven's doing this whole thing about like, you know, like, you know, the definition of insanity is doing some, the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I know, that's why I watched this show because I keep expecting it to be good. And he's like, that's why I'm doing this, trying to the same thing over and over, but with different results.

Speaker 2 Obviously, she looks gorgeous, but she just makes me weak every time she looks this good but she was also my best friend you know because we would talk about things like hey here's some evidence of her being my best friend like look at us um looking at us we're looking at corn together in the field look at i'm showing her some baby corn my best friend

Speaker 1 so she's like hi how are you good to see you and he's like well i've been up a lot at night realizing how many calories these milkshakes have in them you know and i never really think about that but you're not there anymore to think about it for me and i've been thinking how much of what happened wasn't really your fault but you know the distance we've had this last weeks it gave me a clear enough head to see that um and also masturbation is really really difficult so please come back to me

Speaker 2 so i did rsvp both of us to jesse's wedding initially so that hasn't changed because um

Speaker 2 well I'm obviously still apprehensive and uncomfortable with all that. He's like, well, what are you concerned with the most? You're the most pessimistic person about weddings.

Speaker 1 She goes, what do you,

Speaker 1 what do you think?

Speaker 2 It's like, my family? She's like, yeah, dum-dum. Of course you're family.

Speaker 1 Well, couldn't we just dress up and, you know, have a good time together and not worry about the family part and enjoy each other's company? What about that?

Speaker 1 Let's just pretend nothing happened and just continue on this toxic cycle. I mean, come on.
And she's like,

Speaker 1 yeah, that's what you said before the Ozarks. But then we went to the Ozarks and then it was still stupid.
So like, what now? And he's like, yeah, well, I want you to get dressed up.

Speaker 1 And I don't get to get dressed up often. You know, I mean, you'd like nice dinner.
There's going to be dinner there.

Speaker 1 I mean, they're going to have metal things full of mac and cheese and potatoes and cheese.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a lot.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get real dressed up. I'm going to wear a sports jacket and a bolo tie.
Watch out.

Speaker 2 Watch out, Met Gala. I'm coming for you next.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you're getting all the way dressed up. You ain't even going to mess around no more, huh? And he's like, yeah, it'll be fun.

Speaker 1 i just picture you choking me out with a bolo tie you'll love that and then the barista they show the barista it's funny first of all he didn't even say it that loud and they showed the barista and she's like

Speaker 1 i was like why are you being mean to that barista she didn't even do anything wrong and then they show close-ups of children being mortified

Speaker 2 I also like, I feel like in that moment, he sort of forgot he was on camera because he just basically said that out loud. And, you know, I don't think he's the type that would say that out loud.

Speaker 2 And Cal's like, oh my God, there's children around. And so then they're like, what's the deal with the polo tie situation? He's like, I don't know.
I just thought of some ideas that might be fun.

Speaker 2 Anyway, what are your thoughts, Cala? She goes, we'll see.

Speaker 2 So now Cole drives up to Casey's office and she's like, what are you doing? He's like, well, I'm calling to get you. We're going out.
We're going out on a date. She goes, but what about my car?

Speaker 2 He's like, just leave it. It's Gallatin.

Speaker 1 There ain't no pork market enforcement in Gallatin. That's why we live here.
She's like, well,

Speaker 2 There's been like five different cars that got beat up by bats and got their tires lashed on this show. So I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think I actually would have been in your garage.

Speaker 1 It's like, where are we going? I'm surprising you. Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 So they drive to their future house, which is this huge ass house, this big old farmhouse. Huge.
It's enormous, this house.

Speaker 1 So by the way, this kind of answers why she's staying with Cole because I would stay with Cole for that house. That's a big house.

Speaker 2 Wow. I'm so excited to see

Speaker 2 the big ass open concept with all the blue walls that they're going to put in there.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to see what creative things they do with Shiplap.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to see all their uses of Robin's Egg Blue.

Speaker 2 So Cole is like, when we found out about the baby, we decided to build a place of our own. It's a lot of work, but hopefully it's done before the baby is born.

Speaker 2 So they go and then they go sit out of the fire.

Speaker 1 By the way, no.

Speaker 1 It's not going to be done before the baby is born. People know.
It's like barely up. They've got like barely the framing up.
He's like, well, hopefully this will be done in about five minutes.

Speaker 1 You know, it's how hash is all right. Like, no, you're going to be waiting a while, buddy.

Speaker 2 I mean, the thing is so huge, you would think that they're actually parking a combine inside of it.

Speaker 2 He's like, well, it's perfect because you can watch TV here and park their combine right here next to the kitchen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, they have that whole separate garage. I mean, the garage is connected to the house, but it's like a whole other wing.
I mean, it's a huge garage.

Speaker 1 They probably could fit a combine in there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they could. Combine garage.

Speaker 2 So Cole is like, well, I know we've been doing better and I've been trying to make things up to you. So here's a box.

Speaker 1 And so like how I went to Nashville last week, even though you didn't want me to. Wow, I'm really killing it, huh? What do you mean you've been doing things to make it up to her? What have you done?

Speaker 1 You showed her a mountain. Come on.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, yeah, he literally showed her a mountain.

Speaker 2 So then he pulls out a box and he pretends to get down on one knee, which they have used like immensely in the previews and trailers to make it seem like they're going to get proposed, like this can be a proposal.

Speaker 2 And he's like, ha ha ha, no, it's not that.

Speaker 2 It's your key to the house. And she gasps.

Speaker 2 She's like so touched that she's getting the thing that she's rightfully should have.

Speaker 1 That she would be getting anyway, you know, to walk into the house that she's going to be living in.

Speaker 1 And she's like, wow, this kind of thing is called superpower. It's like the simple things I love the most.
We know you're with one. And she's like, man,

Speaker 1 this night was very much us, you know? Like, he's not completely forgiving, but this was one of the reasons I stick around. I mean, I'm a lucky girl.
I got a keychain.

Speaker 2 I know. Yeah, Cole's superpower is going to Ace Hardware and making a copy of a key.

Speaker 1 It was a key in the shape of a house, though, which I thought was kind of cute.

Speaker 2 Very meta, which he loves, apparently, because that's how it works.

Speaker 1 I love that burglars won't even be confused.

Speaker 1 They'll be like, what is this key for?

Speaker 1 She probably is like that, trying the car.

Speaker 2 This is my house key because it's got a house.

Speaker 2 I don't know what this one does. It doesn't have a car on it, so I don't think it's for the car.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and we see how she loves simple dates, like when he took her to eat lunchables and watching cow pastures. And

Speaker 1 so then they roast two hot dogs on a double hot dog roaster, which I've never seen. Like it's like a pronged hot dog thing to race double, roast double hot dogs.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I can't believe in a few months we're going to be parents. And then one step after that happens, just get married.
Because, well, that's what I was thinking.

Speaker 1 You know, I was looking for rings today. She's like,

Speaker 1 did you get it then?

Speaker 2 Did you go to Drennan's? And he's like, well, that didn't sound like you wanted me to do that.

Speaker 2 She goes, well, we just need to have a little bit more time because I don't want an engagement just because it's the next step. I want it because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Speaker 2 Also, I need to see if you act like a total fool once this baby arrives.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's like, well, I already know I want to spend it with you.
Well, yeah, but you're the one without options here.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So, you know, and Casey's like, yeah, I mean, I do too. It's not like I ever want us not to be together.
I just don't want to rush things. You know, we still got a lot of time to fix things.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 You.

Speaker 2 He's not one to know how to read a room or do a lot of work together.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 So so then i could have just stopped at read

Speaker 1 yeah i love cole but he's not really one to know how to read like we know yeah that's fair so uh now we get a song she's just a cow girl she's gonna keep it like that

Speaker 1 she'll turn the heat on if you love her like that

Speaker 2 So now we're at Steven's house and they're tending to chickens. I have to say, I can't stand Kyle.
I think she's like a shallow twit, but you know what?

Speaker 2 Love that Oreo. She has a chicken in Oreo that looks like an Oreo.
It looks like a stack of Oreos chicken form. And I got to say,

Speaker 2 huge breakout star for me.

Speaker 1 I love Oreo.

Speaker 1 Chicken-flavored Oreo. We're going to invest trillions into it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 protect that chicken at all costs. There is a chicken murderer out there on this show.
Oreo must be saved.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Cole comes over and he's like, uh, hi. And she's like, wow, Cole, why do you look so solemn?

Speaker 1 Well, because you look like you're going to kill him, maybe.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, well, I guess I'm feeling embarrassed about some of the things I said, you know, and I know some of it will be hard to come back from.

Speaker 1 I don't expect you forgive me, but I just want you to know I'm sorry because I wasn't really, really in my right mind. But I would eat your ass all day if it was mine.
I don't think that.

Speaker 2 That's why I'm only looking at your toes right now because if I look any higher, I'm going to get a boner so big, it's going to knock all of us over. Okay.
Because he's just sitting there.

Speaker 2 He's got his hands on his hips and he's just staring at the ground. And then, but also, but he's got his hat on, so he's staring at the ground, so you can't really see his eyes.

Speaker 2 But Stephen's also staring at the ground and

Speaker 2 like Cala's just like staring at him. Well, she's like, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. Yeah, I was really hurt.

Speaker 2 But I just love the way these guys are just like staring at the ground. They can't even like look her in the eyes.
He's like, I feel really bad.

Speaker 2 I was really, I was being really mean and I was raised not to be like that. And I'm really sorry for those things.

Speaker 2 And like opposition, but butt into your relationship because I don't like when people butt into my relationship. And I really hope you can come to the wedding because it'll be really fun.

Speaker 2 And that, furthermore, you, I really like when you twerk, but I won't look at you twerking anymore because even though I would love to see that all over my face, I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's not my place to have it on my face. And that rhymed too.
And I'm really sorry for rhyming in your face. Okay, bye.

Speaker 1 She's like,

Speaker 1 thank you. That really meant a lot to me that you apologized.
Okay, you're excused. Oh my God, thank God.
Thank God. Thank God.
I'm going back home. I can't do this.

Speaker 1 It's like seven lunchables down his face on the way to the car.

Speaker 1 And she's like, well, I don't know what the right decision is regarding the wedding, but it feels good to be cordial with each other. I just don't want any drama.
Dawn, dawn, dawn. Don.

Speaker 1 Please have drama. I want Jesse's wedding to be chock full of drama.
You better have some drama. Aunt Darla better start some shit.
She was disappointing.

Speaker 2 She really was for such a slut. I thought she was really going to act out.
Still a slut.

Speaker 1 We love you, Aunt Darla. We just need more from you.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And Cala Ben might not like you, but I like you. And I think that you should get back into this family and keep fighting until you own all those combines.

Speaker 2 That's what I say. Yeah, you'd be the combine queen.

Speaker 2 I love Aunt Darla.

Speaker 1 I love her. She gives nothing.

Speaker 2 I mean, she does nothing. She's beard for one second and was like, ha.

Speaker 2 So she gave nothing. I mean,

Speaker 2 now we are at, so they don't have top golf here. They instead go to Tee Shots Golf.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought it was over.

Speaker 2 Top golf imploded, right?

Speaker 1 No, I thought the recap was over. I was about to say bye.
Okay, so there's more coming. There's more coming up.
I forgot we went to Top Golf.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we go. The episode just

Speaker 2 kept on going.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm homegrown. Let them all know.
I've been working where the tall grass grows.

Speaker 1 This is called T-Shots. But yeah, I thought it was Top Golf too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I thought it was Top Golf too i thought it was top shot but maybe i think there's top golf i think is is faltering as a company right

Speaker 1 how the should i know i won when it first opened um and thought it was you know kind of fun i guess even though i couldn't hit anything but then i just remember it from real housewives of salt lake city and jen shaw having her party for omar there and she's like i spent eighty thousand dollars on this party i can't believe you guys are doing this to me what about me

Speaker 1 what about me

Speaker 2 so they're here at this place which by the way, I am surprised that Cole has not fallen off the edge of the top golf like putting tea. Like, how does this? I was looking.

Speaker 2 I was like, how do they, how did these places that have like the, like the, the shooting ranges that are like up high,

Speaker 2 what do they do to make sure people don't fall off the edge? Because there've got to be a lot of drunk coals going around. And I see they have like a little bit of a net, but that net is not enough.

Speaker 1 I think they have the net that catches you. Yeah.
It's like a big nut that goes down. So I'm sure they've caught a lot of coles in their day.

Speaker 2 Oh, geez. So, um, so Brayden Brandon and Jesse, like, walking slow-mo, like, we're going to do golf.
And then, uh, they're all there. And then all of a sudden, Jesse's like, what the hell is going on?

Speaker 2 Look who is walking in.

Speaker 1 And I was like, Combine Cam.

Speaker 1 Combine Cam. He's like, I just really got upset when I saw Cala come into come into the top golf.
Combine Cam.

Speaker 2 It's Stephen and Cala walking in.

Speaker 2 So they're all shocked and they just can't believe that she's there. So then Stephen's asking where Allie is and Allie's doing the usual thing, avoiding being with Jesse

Speaker 2 and either doing a triathlon. But in this case, she's going to her bridal shower.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Calla's like, wow, I went on y'all's registry and the only things left was a power tool attachment, which is you, I guess. But then there's like two

Speaker 1 champagne flutes for $100 each. I was like, whoa, y'all are fancy now.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I didn't do that i didn't do that one i did do the power attachment thing though we know jesse we know you have to make your your octagonal arbor thing or whatever we were we're pretty sure that allie wasn't like i need a power tool right now

Speaker 1 you know what i'm really into you did you know jesse really what i'd love around my finger a dremel

Speaker 1 dremel

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 so then Cole and Casey arrive and people are like being nice to Cala and they're shooting shots and everything. And Casey's like,

Speaker 2 Cole told me he and Cala made up, which is sweet. But like, I wish he was like more motivated to behave this way all the time, not just when people are mad at him.
Why are you with this man?

Speaker 2 Go have your baby on your own. It'll have a much better life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, run away. So now it's nighttime and we go to the McBee farm.
Cole, Jesse, and Jake meet up for nighttime crop cutting on the combines. Guys, we're working double time.

Speaker 1 These soybeans need some beanin. These soys need some boys, right? We've got the boys for the soys,

Speaker 1 but we're not so boys, okay? These are not soy boys. Do you understand? So Cole is

Speaker 1 like, so you talked to Allie about your wedding nurse, about your nervous breakdown. Have you gone to Allie and admitted to be a huge wussie? And Jesse's like, no, I don't want to.

Speaker 1 I just want to get on the combine. Jake, could you come on me with the combine? Combine, Cam.

Speaker 1 He's like, I just need to be in the combine and look around because all I can think about when I'm home is, oh my God, I'm getting married. I'm 30.
Everything's over.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, Ellie probably hates me. Actually, Ellie really does hate me.
What's the city like? Why can't I go to the city? Why did Ellie give me keys to the city house? Combine cam.

Speaker 2 Harvesting at night makes a lot of time for thinking about the wedding. It's a lot of time for thinking.
Oh, God, so much thinking. I'm like, do you...

Speaker 2 He acts like he just doesn't think the rest of his life. He just, he just like, just, is like a robot.

Speaker 2 And then like left alone on the combine he's like oh my god the big city what's it like out there what about the crime what about the queers what do i do

Speaker 2 so then we go to jesse and allie's farmhouse and he comes in because he's had a long night of combine thinking and that brain is going it is going and he's thinking i've got to tell allie that i had anxiety Yeah, so he comes in and Allie is putting away food,

Speaker 1 which is weird because

Speaker 2 in a hostile way.

Speaker 1 So I was thinking it was going to be like, you didn't come home for dinner or something like that because she's kind of like throwing the buns in the bag or whatever she's doing to the ciabattas, whatever those were.

Speaker 1 Boom. And so I was like, oh, maybe he's in trouble because he missed dinner for the combine, but she never says anything.
So I don't know. So she's like, how was your day? Better than the other days?

Speaker 1 And he's like, well, I had a rough one the other day. And I think I had an anxiety attack.
Okay, so they go into the badge. So they're talking about bad.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I think I had an anxiety attack. And she's just looking at him like, um,

Speaker 1 like, she has this way of looking. I don't know how to explain.
Like, her eyes are wide open and her brows are up. And she's like, um, really?

Speaker 1 She's got that look on her face at all times. And he's like, yeah.
And my heart was beating out of my chest. Like, I couldn't stop it.
And she goes,

Speaker 1 Well, I know you don't really like to talk about stuff. So

Speaker 1 he goes, Yeah.

Speaker 1 And, you know, there's just so much going on and like with the farm and then my relationships. And she's like,

Speaker 2 she's like, are you trying to get out of building a hexagon arbor? Because that's your one thing you have to do for this wedding.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh,

Speaker 1 it's just so weird to me that this guy is coming to multiple people in his family being like, guys, I'm really stressed out. I had an anxiety attack and I'm really worried.

Speaker 1 And not one single person has been like, oh my God, are you okay? Has it happened again? You know, this is totally normal, but maybe you should see somebody.

Speaker 1 It's going to be okay.

Speaker 1 Like, babe, it's natural. If you're feeling a little bit nervous before the wedding, I don't want you to feel rushed.
The most important thing is we know we love each other.

Speaker 1 No one comforts the guy.

Speaker 1 They just all stare at him like he's the biggest idiot for having any kind of anxiety attack. I don't get it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So basically, Allie's like, well, I wish, I wish you knew earlier that you could have come to me with this, which is a funny thing to say.

Speaker 2 And then she's like, well, do you, do you think that postponing the wedding is something that you want or need to do?

Speaker 2 Because you have to let me know right now because the deadline for signing up for the triathlon that day is about to pass. So if we're not doing that wedding, I'm going to do a try.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I thought this was interesting.

Speaker 1 He said, he starts crying and he says he feels like he's living a double life between the image everyone has of him because everyone thinks that he's the perfect guy guy and that's a lot of pressure and they think that they're the perfect couple and he says, I didn't want to share this with you, but it feels wrong not telling you.

Speaker 1 And he starts crying and she just stares at him and she's like,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I mean, I think I need more for my partner.
Basically what I'm saying is he needs me because I'd be like, Jesse, come here. Let me hold you.
Like you're mine. Come here.
Let me hold you.

Speaker 1 And like, why are you crying? We'll talk it through. And she's just looking at him like, oh, I wish you got to talk to me.
But then, you know, she's obviously really upset too.

Speaker 1 So she starts crying because obviously someone's like nervous to get married to you. That probably doesn't feel great either.
So she's crying. And he's like, I don't want to let anybody down.

Speaker 1 And she's like, should we postpone? No, hug him and tell him it's going to be okay. And then talk about it later.
But I think this guy just needs some love and support. And I'm here for you.
I'm here.

Speaker 2 Good. Call any Ronnie.
Just rest your head on Ronnie's bosom, Jesse. Yeah.
And for some reason, this conversation mandated a to be continued. So

Speaker 2 everyone, if you can get through the week, finding out whether or not this wedding is going to be postponed, I applaud you because I don't know if I can.

Speaker 2 I do not know if I can focus on any other task this week without being distracted with the thoughts that this wedding, wedding of the decade, might be postponed a little bit.

Speaker 1 I need to see this. Arbor, get it together.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, that's the end of the McBee dynasty, at least for the next week or so.
Everybody, thanks so much for being here. It was a pleasure.

Speaker 1 As always, Ben, everybody, we love you, and we'll talk to you next time. Bye.

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