#2979 RHOM S7E12 Part One: The Strain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plane

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today, Mr.

Ronnie Carom.

How are you, Ronnie?

What's good, buddy?

What's going on with you today, baby?

Well, I'm thrilled because we're talking Real House Hos of Miami and this episode was so good and so hilarious.

It was actually so good that I took myself over to social media and I proclaimed, first of all, I don't know, I don't know if there's going to be a show that's going to be able to top Miami this year.

Salt Lake City is going to be the strongest contender.

We're going to see.

Salt Lake obviously comes back in September, and Salt Lake City has been on a tear for several seasons, and they are pretty much the elite cast to beat on Bravo.

But after watching last night's Miami episode, I'm like, I don't, like, this is going to be a hard one to top.

Miami is like batting 1,000.

They are having an excellent season.

And I don't know.

And so then I went and I ranked all my favorite shows of the year so far.

So I really went into a tizzy.

Wow, you had quite a day.

I literally ranked every single Bravo show of 2025 so far.

And I said, these are my, this is my favorite from top to bottom.

And actually what I discovered was that like the majority of the shows I really loved.

Like next gen New York City wound up sort of like mid-pack, mid-to-low pack on the list.

And people were like, you put it too low.

And I'm like, Actually, I loved next gen New York City.

I just loved everything this year on Bravo for the most part.

I mean, I loved Southern Charm.

A lot of people didn't love Southern Charm.

I loved Southern Charm.

I loved Beverly Hills.

I loved it all.

I love this.

I love the pocket.

I love the scene.

Well, I love it.

I love that you

had that moment where you just gave loved everything.

That's so good.

I don't even need drugs to do that kind of shit.

You know, that's been on a sober night.

You know, I'm drunk or something when I'm like, you know what?

Here's everything that I love.

I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate everything that I love.

You can do that shit sober, you know.

I love that.

Yeah, I um, I don't know, but that's how good Miami was.

It sort of like made it sort of like Miami was so good.

It, it uncorked all my love for all the Bravo shows.

And I think I have, I think I put Miami as number one.

Should I just pull it up at this point?

Should I just summon them?

I won't go through the whole list.

I mean, but I think I put Miami as Miami is definitely number one.

I put as my

number two,

I said the valley is number two.

I think the valley was really like,

yeah,

I think the valley was really like appointment television.

I'm putting Orange County as number three so far.

This is, by the way, so far, it could all change by the end of the year.

I think Orange County is having a great season so far.

I'm really enjoying it.

This is a little controversial.

I put Beverly Hills as number four.

Maybe I put that slightly too high.

But I was like, at first it was lower, but then I was thinking back and I was like, I had so much fun with Sutton and her mom and Dorit losing her mind and Dorit yelling at Kyle.

There's like a lot of joy that I had at watching that season.

Southern Hospitality, I put a number five.

I think we've forgotten about it, but it had such a good season.

And then Love Hotel.

I almost wanted to put Love Hotel higher because I just loved Love Hotel.

And then it goes on from there.

I won't go through all of it.

And you guys can just make a guess of what my last one is on the list.

But

yeah, so I just love

the McBee Dynasty.

God, somebody over there doesn't enjoy a dribbledor.

One of the best shows of all time.

You know, it's so funny how your hatred of that show makes me like it so much more.

I don't know what it is about it, but I think it's so fun listening.

And I feel like the listeners really like you hating something too, because it's just not your general vibe.

So I think the biggest compliment we get on that show is that you hate it so much.

It's a lot of comments like, wow, man hates this.

I love it.

I normally am a bravo apologist.

Like, if I like something, I will just like like it and be like, no, it's great, even when it starts to decline.

Yeah.

So it is nice to just outright hate something, but I love that you love it.

Like I genuinely love that you love it.

And then I, you know, it's, it's fun.

But

anywho, we're not here to talk about that.

We're here to talk about Miami.

As a reminder,

we have tonight, there's going to be Crappy Hour where we are going to be talking about the latest headlines and Goss on Bravo.

We always have fun with that.

That's going to be at 5.30 on the West Coast and 8.30 on the East Coast.

And then you can just figure out your time zones if you're not in those.

And then also we're on Patreon.

We have bonus episodes.

Last week, we had a really, really fun bonus episode where we told tales of our youth and interacting with certain celebrities like Robert Coulet and Sally Kellerman and Diane Cannon.

And maybe there's another celebrity that was in there, Emily Lou Harris, maybe.

So come join us on Patreon for all that good stuff.

Plus, crap is on demand where you can watch the video.

But that's enough.

We've talked enough.

Did you not see us both in collared shirts today?

Yeah, we're wearing

a little preppy shirt.

I'm in like an Easter shirt.

I don't know.

I'm wearing Easter colors lately.

I'm really into it.

This is a Gap polo shirt.

And I have to say, I've been enjoying this shirt so much that after this, we're done recording, I'm going to go to the Gap and see if I can get more polo shirts.

I'm hoping that they're still there and that they have not started to transition into their fall wear.

For anyone who's wondering, I'm heading over to Palm Springs today for the weekend, and I was going to take my friend with me, my little, one of my little Persian besties, Mike.

Hi, Mike.

Love you.

And

he reminded me, he's like, I can't drive with you because I'm going to stop on the way because the outlets.

And I was like, of course,

the Persian is like, we're going to the outlets.

Cause every time you go to Palm Springs with the Persian, they pull over like every time.

Nadine does it too.

Every single time.

It's like, where has Nadine been?

And it's like four hours.

She's like, I'll be 10 more minutes.

So, yes, I'm I'm going to have to go to the outlets because

or maybe I'll save it for the ride back, but that Sunday is going to be hell.

So I think maybe.

No, you're going to want to, you want to do it today.

But my friend Brandy's coming from New York, and she lands in Palm Springs at 2.45.

So I just told her to get an Uber to the house and give her the door code.

And then I'm going to go to the Outlets.

I'll buy her somewhere.

You should go to the Outlets today.

It won't be as crowded today.

Oh, no, because I'll have Bueller in the car.

Bring Bueller to the Outlets.

Everyone brings their dog everywhere.

Oh, it's California.

That's true.

I could just be like, I don't even have to say anything.

You just bring him in, right?

Last time I went to the Cabazon outlets, I saw Faye Resnick there.

So what star might you see there?

Did she have a dog?

No, she was with an older man, and they were walking along, and she was wearing a cowboy hat.

And I thought, wow.

Oh, God.

Fucking Kyle friends, friends of Kyle.

They're just all in their cowboy era.

Yeah.

No, definitely go to the outlets today because everyone is thinking that they're going to go to the outlets on the way back and it's packed on Sundays.

So

we're going to go to the outlets today, baby.

Yeah.

Okay.

I hope you do

something cute.

If people can take their dogs to Whole Foods, I can take my dog to the old Navy outlet.

And that's it.

All right, let's get on with it so I can go because now I'm excited to go to the outlets.

I know we really should be podcasting because you actually are trying to get to Palm, you're actually trying to go on vacation right now for your birthday weekend.

And I'm yammering about.

And here's my top 10 favorite commercials I saw on Bravo Level.

That's not yammering.

Come on, that's worth it.

I wanted to hear it.

And you know, I don't go on the social enough, so it was good to hear it.

This was on Blue Sky.

I don't think you're even on Blue Sky, so you probably wouldn't have even seen it anyway.

No, I'm not on Blue Sky.

I sort of have like different content on different platforms, I'm discovering.

Oh, really?

So follow them on everything, everybody.

If you want to see the same picture for three months at a time, you can follow me because that's all I put.

I normally, I do a lot of board game content on Blue Sky.

I feel like I'm oddly self-conscious about my board game content because I feel like

no, I just feel like me tweeting about board games on Twitter, people are just gonna be like, What?

But for some reason, Blue Sky, I haven't like it's like it's a new persona I can establish, so I mainly do that, but then I randomly threw in this like top 10 Bravo, something another.

Um,

let's talk about Miami.

This episode was so fucking good, so hilarious.

Season seven, episode 12, uncivil in civil.

So here we are at a restaurant.

Larza fighting because Lisa is taking calls about needing to find a notary.

A notary.

And it's very upsetting to everybody.

Everybody is very upset with Lisa in this episode.

And it's

so funny to me because I just think Lisa's so nice.

Like Lisa never does anything to anybody.

So she's late.

Who cares?

Just leave without her.

I mean, I don't understand how it's this, this, this making everybody this fucking crazy.

And then even Stephanie whips out her plane again like well we're gonna decide who's gonna ride my plane no one wants to

fuck you and your old man balls plane okay i don't care about you and your draggy old man nuts plane shut up about that plane Can't we?

Stephanie's starting to wear on me a little bit.

I'm not going to lie.

I've been a fan of her all season.

I think that she's been a great casting choice.

I've been really enjoying her being obnoxious, but she is starting to wear on me a bit.

And I think that her using this airplane like a kid bringing a toy to school and then like being able to use that as have a power trip of who gets to play with the toy is getting a little annoying to me.

Yeah, it is hilarious, but it's annoying.

And I'm also getting annoyed with her laughing in her confessionals, thinking that everything she says is so damn funny.

And I say this as someone who laughs at his own stupid jokes on a podcast.

Literally, that's all we do is sit here and laugh at ourselves all day.

Like, right now, I just laughed at it.

I just did it.

But that being said, wait, no, Lisa would drive me nuts, okay?

Because

I think her constant,

I think her constant disrespect of being extremely tardy is actually, I think that's rude.

So she may be a nice person.

She may be nice to talk to.

She's a brat.

I'm sorry.

It has to be acknowledged.

And not a fun brat.

Charlie XCX.

She's a full-on brat.

And it's enough.

I mean, look, I get it.

I'm not saying that being late is, you know, cute or okay okay or that I love it because we all know I will leave your ass if you're late.

But I just, I mean, the amount of

the punishment doesn't seem to fit the crime is all I'm saying.

Like she's, she gets in her own way.

I mean, she was late to this trip.

She had to take a train.

She had to carry her own luggage.

She had to do all this shit.

And she's still late.

Like, she's never going to learn.

It's just who she is.

So, you know what?

I just don't understand why everybody needs to be like, oh, my God.

Should we diss infight?

Okay, I'm getting ahead.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

Well, the dissen fight had nothing to do with her being late.

It literally did.

Stephanie was like, I don't want her on my plane.

Oh, well, she eventually used that as an excuse, but we'll get into this stupidity.

I think Stephanie just wanted to create like a power dynamic where like, like, oh no, you might get kicked off the 22-minute flight.

I think that's what she wanted to do.

She did not sincerely care about whether or not she was on the plane.

Okay, so we're back at the restaurant where we left off last week, where Larsa was getting mad at Lisa because Jodi was texting her.

And Larsa's like, I don't need this shit in my life.

Like, and she tells us, so Jodi texts me.

He textes me.

And like, I'm trying to, like, let it go.

And like, and I'll drop.

And, but, like, but like, you seem to like not want to.

This is what he says.

He says, I'm trying to let it all go and drop it all.

But, like, you seem to not want to.

And let this fight go.

Like, and like, yeah, I just want to let this fight go.

Like, but

we've been trying to do so.

And I said, I never in my life said anything rude to you, like, ever like

and then we get a flashback of larza if you don't understand that jodi you're like a fucking like psycho like fucking like

so uh the editors are so funny and uh she and then larza i love larza struggling to sound 15 at all times hold on yes

sorry i was sneezing

um so she's like this is like telulu This is like Delulu like.

And she's saying that word 10 times.

Yeah, like she did, because it sounds like new slang to her.

Yeah.

I think that she like maybe it was either she either learned that or she got confused about like laboo boo and then she started saying to lulu or whatever it is, but she used it like every every scene she was saying to lulu.

Yeah.

I love when she picks up new slang.

Samara.

That's like my sister still saying that is the bomb.com.

So

she told a bowl of rice recently that it had Riz.

I was like, I don't think you're using that right.

She's like, no, this rice has Riz.

Yeah, my sister.

I think she just heard the word Riz.

So she's like, wow, this rice is Riz.

I said, I don't think that's.

You know, Kyle Richards is going to be saying Riz all of next season of Beverly Hills.

She really will be.

So

there's a lot of back and forth in this scene because there's a group that's away from the table and there's a group at the table.

So Maricelle goes from the Larsa group, which that's away and goes back to the table.

She goes, all right, here's the sit.

There's the situation.

The situation is that Jodi has been sending her a text all afternoon.

So she's upset and probably needs a cocky.

And Adriana goes, Mary Sol,

there's a legal motion going on and we got to take care of that first.

And then we'll deal with the Jodi fight for tomorrow and tomorrow's episode.

So

one of the funniest things is all these ladies seeing texts because we all know how a wall of text looks to these ladies and it's not good.

It looks like a horror show.

Everyone's horrified just seeing all the words.

They're like, oh my God, someone made so many words.

Like you see Alexa looking at it.

She's just blinking like, no, no,

no.

I'm like, you guys aren't even reading it.

I don't even think it said anything that bad, you know, from what we've heard, it hasn't, it didn't say anything bad.

It's like, please stop fighting.

Please stop fighting with me.

So Stephanie.

Stephanie's like, why is Jodi texting Larsa?

Nobody significant others should be texting any lady.

We are women.

We don't text.

Men cannot text women.

This is insane.

And Alexia does her stand-up routine, which is like, if he's like, he's like trying to stick up for Lisa and like fight for Lisa, see, ladies, that's the problem.

We can't tell our men too much because the damned if they do, damned if they don't, right?

This is the difference between men and women.

Am I right?

Like, men, you tell them too much, then they get involved.

If you tell them too little, they don't get involved.

Am I right, ladies?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Here, did she say it later where she was like, this is why we can't let them watch a show?

Don't let them watch a show because they go crazy.

I thought it was really funny.

I couldn't remember.

I was like, I've never seen her say that.

Oh, I think, I think, well, maybe it's just in my head, but I think that when she said that, she was like, this is, you can't let them watch a show, or you can't let them watch it because this is what they do.

They get mad.

And so Lisa joins the Larsa group and she's like, listen, can we just stop?

Larsa, go back to dinner.

Come on.

She's like, no, I like when I get off this ride, like, Lisa.

Like, like, I've got to like get like off like the ride leg.

so lisa just ignores her she's like oh god i'm going upstairs i'll take the call just go eat like jesus christ so adriana is like larsa there's two separate issues jody should not be texting you and then there's lisa with lawyers and her children this is very bad let me tell you when loss started loss started over the sale of a good

People were very upset about it in Jesus' time.

Their coach says, Jesus Christ, we don't have time for this right now, Adriana.

It's been going on for like three years.

Like, like, every day is like the worst day of my life.

Like, come on now.

Like, so Gertie goes all the way upstairs to find Lisa, who's like crying.

And then Larsa's, like, I mean, from the time you sit down, it's like, do you have a notary?

Do you have this?

Do you have that?

Do you have this and that?

Do you have XYZ and this and that?

And XYZ.

It's like changed the whole dynamic.

Like, no one wants to hear about a notary when you're having dinner.

Like, like, notary public, more like it should be notary private.

Larsa, you changed the dynamic when you start screaming and yelling at people at dinner like you're the one who turned this into a big fight and started getting up and leaving and doing all this i love it it's like she changed the dynamic that it was like so peaceful like

larsa just does not like that lisa might be centering like getting attention because lisa does have whatever that for for whatever reason she has some sort of legal issue that needs to be resolved in an hour and she needs a notary and she's like freaking out and larsa hates it's like oh my god just as usual like she's larsa is mad that Lisa might might be pulling the attention of the cameras at that moment because of this notary or she may even believe that Lisa planned it so that way this would happen so Larsa's just like obviously really pissed off but Larsa's only pissed off because she wants to be the one in that position who gets all the attention I'm notary like so Larsa's like yeah don't give the vibe like for the rest of us like we're here to like celebrate like this is like to loo like lou

this is like to loo like lou like

so then upstairs lisa's sobbing and she's like what a fucking bitch

Like what the fuck like leave me alone.

Okay, you know what notary first notary first.

Okay, let's go to a more quiet place.

Okay, let's go let's sit okay.

We're going to a new room new room.

We're going to our third location and 30 seconds on this TV show.

Okay, we're here to focus on what's most important a notary and notary public.

I swear to God, I've never had so much attention put onto a notary in the history of Bravo.

The notary needs to come on screen.

I need the notary to be a character.

No, Terry.

Remember, she was already on

Salt Lake City.

No, Terry.

No.

I forgot about that.

We need to have no Terry show up on this show.

No, Terry.

Oh, yeah.

Listen here.

Listen here, Lisa.

You think you're going to have dinner?

This ain't no time for dinner.

I'm no Terry, and it's time to get some shit signed.

Have a seat.

You've got one hour.

You better get this signed before appetizers come or you're screwed.

No, Terry.

No.

No, Terry's such a bitch.

So Gertie's like, oh my God, things are stressful.

Here comes Gurdy.

Gertie is going to solve this.

Okay, what do we got to do?

What do we got to do?

Let's get a game plan.

Okay.

You got a notary?

We got to sign that first.

The second thing we're going to do, we're going to eat something.

Okay?

You got that?

Okay.

You feel better?

Me too.

Me too.

Me too.

We got this.

We got it.

My darling, this is a walk in the park to other situations that I've been in the midst of, such as a groom saying no at the altar.

That's right, everyone.

A groom saying no at the altar.

Easy.

I could do this in my sleep.

Good to find.

This is how I handled it at the wedding.

The groom has said no at the altar.

The groom has said no at the altar.

Get the bride's texts, put them on a screen, and embarrass the bitch.

All right.

The groom is paying for this wedding.

All right.

He's paying for 75% of it.

All right, let's embarrass the groom too.

Do something embarrassing to the groom too.

Okay?

By the way, is my headshot still above the bride and the groom where they're supposed to be standing?

Okay, great.

Great.

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I just feel like I'm paralyzed like a cat.

Like a scaredy cat.

Oh, paralyzed like a cat.

That old chestnut.

You know when you feel paralyzed like a cat?

Cats are known for being paralyzed.

You know, when I think of a cat, I don't think of something that's nimble and moves quickly and can get everywhere all at once.

I think of something that's just paralyzed.

Paralyzed.

Like a scaredy cat.

Help me.

I'm paralyzed.

Paralyzed.

So Alexia back at the table is like, you know what?

I just don't believe you have an hour.

Like, that doesn't sound right.

I've never heard of a notary like that.

Like, that's crazy.

Like, what is there a timer?

I don't believe it.

And I love Alexia with all her notary knowledge.

It's like, this is not how notaries work.

Okay.

No, this is not a note.

Look, okay, it's not called a yesery.

It's called a notary.

And I say no.

So Adriana is like, Alexia, you know how men play games.

Okay, babe, Lenny knows she's here.

If Todd came for you and you needed to get something no no no you leave todd out of it you leave todd out of it no more talking about todd we have had enough of todd i will not have that nerd

okay okay geez i wish i wish they replayed that moment later on the episode when alexia was patting herself on the back for handling herself like a lady at all times in varn countries

She's like, leave him out of it.

Poor favor.

We're not talking about Todd anymore.

Poor favor.

Yeah, this is all going on.

Lisa's about to leave her kiss.

So, why is Jody sending you texts?

I mean, why isn't he helping her?

Jody should be helping.

Meanwhile, Jody is on the phone with Lisa.

So, Gertie gets on the phone.

She's like, Okay, Jody, it's Gurdy.

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.

Do you have any text messages from the notary?

Can we put them up on the screen?

No, okay, Jody, tell me everything.

Tell me what has to be done right now.

I'm on it.

Gertie is on it.

Do you need bouquets?

Does the notary need bouquets?

I can get them there in a second.

What about a cake?

Do you need table arrangements?

Do you need a seating charge?

What does the notary need?

I will provide it.

Jody, before we do anything else, I need you to know this.

The groom has left the bride.

The groom has left the bribe.

He's like, oh, Lisa.

Do you see a DJ?

Do you see the DJ, Jody?

Do you need a DJ?

Do you need a band?

Band or DJ?

Which do you prefer?

Past apps or no past apps?

We're doing buffet?

Buffet table service?

What do you need, Jodi?

Just tell me.

I see an actor, I think, from Roseanne.

Oh, no, they sent the wrong DJ again.

God, they keep sending him.

Lisa, I think you have until 5 p.m.

Eastern, and that's an hour and three minutes from now, okay?

There's a girl named Giselle.

She's an online notary.

You remember her?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I remember

we used Giselle before.

Yeah, you did it before.

You just got to go to a computer.

Oh, no, a computer.

How am I going to find a computer in an hour and three minutes?

You can use your phone.

Okay, I got a phone.

Okay, I can do that.

Lisa, don't get yourself wrapped up in these fights, okay?

Okay.

I mean, I'll show you the text messages.

And gurdy's like jodi jodi gurdy gurdy jodi jodi gurdy gurdy jody clean the laugh clean the laugh clean the laugh copy copy okay jody listen with larsa don't even engage any longer forget her number okay don't text her directly do not it's not a good look jodi it's not a good look jodi okay next time you think of texting larsa go into the room for some ac Are we still using that?

Go to the room for some AC, Jodi.

I'm having some right now.

Look, no, I just really need Lisa to make sure she gets this notary republic, okay?

That's all I want right now for Lisa.

Exactly.

Exactly.

That's my focus as well.

Exactly.

Meeting adjourned.

We did it.

Hold on.

Stay on the phone for one more minute while I nod consistently.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Eagle Leslie.

Exactly.

Eagle Leslie.

Exactly.

Eagle is London.

So the other women are ordering, and Adriana.

Gertie was so intense in this scene.

I just have to applaud Gertie for her being like, we are going to figure this out.

Notary, got it, got it, got it.

Lisa, you heard that?

Notary.

Okay, great.

You're not going to text the girls no more?

Okay, great.

We got it.

We got it.

All right, everybody.

Let's hold hands.

Let's say a prayer.

We're going to do this.

We're going to get out on the field.

We're going to find the groom.

We're going to drag him back by his ankles and say, you don't leave a wedding.

You show up at a divorce like everybody else.

Okay?

Got it.

Got it.

Lisa needs that, though, because if she's on her own, she starts to spiral.

She needs someone to come in and take care of her because, again, she's kind of like a little brat.

So Adriana is announcing that she went to mass today because I'm sensitive.

I can't deal with this anymore.

And Larsa just looks at her, goes,

in her like angry, her true Larsa voice, she goes, Adriana, just go in the corner and cry.

And she's like, but why?

All you do is make excuses for someone else's bad behavior.

She's like, I'm not making excuses.

I'm saying I can't take it anymore.

I had to go to Mass and I had to make tears.

Okay.

What kind of mass you have to go to?

Like mass murder?

Like, get out of here.

Nobody believes you, Adriana.

No, I'm telling you, when people hurt, I feel it.

I feel it right here in my heart.

Your heart is on the other side, stupid.

Still.

Adriana always like, I mean, when I think of an empath, I'm like, oh, it's Adriana.

She's the one.

She's the one who feels people's emotions.

Well, she's definitely got a path in her personality.

That's for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's like, I do not appreciate when people who gang up on someone.

I've been there myself and it didn't feel good.

I'm like, you're the one who's always trying to get people to your side so that way you can lead a gang up on someone

every single season.

Yeah.

So Julia, Julia's like, you know what would make everybody feel better if we made kisses.

I will kiss everybody.

Oh, sit down with your fucking junior high girls making out things.

Sit down.

No one needs to see you giving away your free makeouts with everybody.

Gross.

Sit down.

So Lita Sa finishes up with whatever she needs to do.

And she's like, this is a major, this is a major, major life moment.

Okay.

I'm getting divorced and I'm on a girls trip at a dinner with a crazy lady lady yelling at me and making it about her.

And I'm just like grateful to have two of my friends there for me.

I'm like, but is that was this the divorce?

I don't think this was the divorce signing.

And that's the problem with Lisa is that she's like, this is such a major event.

I'm getting divorced.

I'm like, but you've been getting divorced for years now.

And there is no expiration date on Lenny trauma.

There is none, but like you can't make every time you sign a document be like a moment that you need to have like a celebration.

Okay.

Like when you get to the big one where it's the last document, that's when you can party.

The final document party.

Yeah.

So, Lisa, Adriana, and Gertie come back to the table, and Marius, like, monkey, everything's solved.

She's like, everything solves.

Okay, let's just have a little shit chat.

Okay, what's the problem?

What's the problem?

But why don't you like tell me what the problem is?

Like, I don't know.

I've been dealing with legal stuff.

It's been very difficult.

But your boyfriend, like, is texting me like things like he shouldn't be texting me.

Like, so, like, well, what were they?

I couldn't read it.

It was like really hard, but it was a lot.

It hurt my feelings.

Like, yeah.

So, Lisa is like, well, everyone, all of America, this is the harassing text message that Jodi sent to Larsa.

Larsa, stop.

I don't want this fight.

You can't point at the sky and tell me it's not blue.

Uh-uh.

You actually can.

It's not blue, especially at sunset.

Okay, stupid.

Uh, anyway, the text continue.

Listen, I don't want to argue with you.

Clearly, we're not on the same page.

What fight?

Have a good night.

And Jodi responded, we don't need to be on the same page.

It's in the past.

If you let it go.

Yeah.

Nothing too inflammatory.

No, nothing too inflammatory.

But, you know, it is a guy texting the woman in a fight.

But Lisa does have a point later where she's like, well, she keeps bringing up his name on TV.

So, I don't know.

But I still think in general, like a housewife's rule, you shouldn't, the guy shouldn't get involved, you know?

Yeah.

But on the other hand, it's also this cast taking a text and making it the worst thing ever.

I think they still haven't read the gertie text that she put up on the screen.

They're like, oh my God, the worst thing that ever happened.

I mean, I think that like Jodi was just trying to de-escalate.

And Larsa is kind of like,

who is he to try to de-escalate when this is between me and Lisa?

He should butt out.

I think that's what, I don't think that he, hearing these texts, that this is an accurate representation, doesn't sound like what he was saying was like.

that bad.

But I do understand it's like, hey, like, this is between me and my coworker at the moment.

Okay.

And we're trying to have a scene.

So, like, get out of it.

But the reason he's texting her is because she said in the elevator fight, she was bringing up Miami and saying he was like a cokehead in Miami and like raging at everybody in Miami or whatever.

So that's why I think he's texting her.

Or Milan.

Or Miami.

Milan, Milan, yeah.

Sorry.

The other me.

So Larsa's like, I've never involved him.

Your boyfriend is the one who involved himself when we're in Milan.

And then we see a month ago that Larsa is saying that Jodi,

Jodi,

actually, the kernel of it is that Jodi told Larsa that he believes that Larsa set up the photo of Marcus doing coke.

So, Lisa's like, you're acting like a victim right now, okay?

You're acting like a victim.

Now, hold on one second.

I need to find another notary.

Oh, my God, my children,

she's a villain.

She's like, you're just, you're disgusting.

Like, like, Alexia, could you like tell her to shut up?

Because, like, it works when you do it.

You're making it worse, okay?

Like, the way you're being right now, you're just going to keep yelling at each other.

Okay.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

We all know that's not

listen we know if there's a problem this is how you do it let me everybody watch the star right now oh my god

please please please don't ever let me be the rabbitosis again

please okay try it

Victim, she's the victim, okay, like, oh, this happened to me, and that happened to me, and this and that, and X, Y, Z, and I have a yeast infection.

It's like non-stop, like.

It's like yeast infection.

She goes, yeah, she like has a yeast infection.

Yeah, sorry, bad.

I saw you taking notes, by the way.

You're taking notes.

She's like, Yeah, well, I take notes like a student.

The names that she's called me, that she called me a groupie.

Can you believe it?

And so, Stephanie's like, Do you take notes about me?

Do you talk about my private chat?

Do you talk about how wealthy I am?

Do you talk about the Shojai groups?

Do you give us good publicity?

Do you give us a good write-up or do you have a good review?

No, not yet.

Listen, I take notes because of my divorce.

I've learned you got to take notes about everything.

I mean, look, here's all the things she called me.

A groupie.

I forgot.

I forgot the other words.

You see?

I also said you had a Euste infection about two minutes ago.

Ah, hold on.

I forgot that.

I'm going to write that down.

Hold on.

Ease.

And

I made a sick burn about Notary Private instead of Notary Public.

Oh, okay.

Hold on.

Let me write

that one down.

Okay.

Hey, that was mean.

And Kiki's like, no, you don't do that when you're having conversations conversations with your friends.

And she goes, yeah, it's smart.

You guys should all take notes.

First of all, why is Lisa getting shit for wanting to take notes?

The person you guys should be giving shit to is Yolanda Foster, who taught Erica Jane how to take notes.

That's how this all started in Housewives Land.

And it's also very good advice because Yolanda told Erica to do it because of reunions.

You go to the reunion and then suddenly everybody's giving you all this crap.

and you don't remember what was said and it was edited a certain way.

So Yolanda told her when you leave the set and there was a fight or something, you need to write it all down so you can remember in the argument.

And that's what Erica does.

And I think it's very smart.

It's very smart housewives' behavior.

Yeah, the problem is that Lisa's doing it actively in front of them.

And I think that's where it feels wrong because it's like there's like a stenographer right there.

Like Marisol said last week, when am I a stenographer?

So I think like it's like, take your notes, but after you're done shooting or go to the bathroom or something, but if you're sitting there like writing down actively on the fly, people get, they get weirded out by that.

Well, too bad.

Then Lisa, then Larsa should stop being mean.

And that's what's going to happen.

It's like Shannon Bedor being all abusive and then being shocked that someone would whip out a phone and record it.

You guys are on TV in front of cameras.

You're constantly being recorded.

And now you're going to get mad that somebody's taking notes about it.

Larsa's like, can you imagine like being friends with someone who's like taking notes on you?

Like, can you even imagine that?

Like, at least take a photo and put it on the gram, but not just notes.

It's

i mean where lisa really went wrong is telling them that she was taking notes like why would you do that you know just take the notes you don't need to be telling people what you're i think lisa was just so proud that she was spelling things you know yeah well i like and um yeah and and and alexia saying how it's all scared she's like it's very scary it's very scary so larsa says i'm not sitting in a court of law where you have to take notes on our conversations can she even spell dumb d-m-u-b

Stupid Larsa.

I love that that's the biggest word she could come up with.

Could she even spell like

dumb?

So Adriana says, oh, well, she's taking notes to keep it straight.

Might not be a bad idea.

Oh, you can't take mental notes?

Like, I've been taking mental notes the entire trip.

Well, there's no difference between a mental note and a written note.

It's the same purpose.

Yeah.

I don't feel like that was a

strong case.

So, because the whole idea, the principle of it is that you're keeping tabs and you're keeping, like, you're keeping score of all this stuff.

And they don't like that.

But, like, mental, a mental note and a, and a written note, I think, are not that different.

So, Lisa says, like, well, when you're in legal stuff, like, I am.

This is illegal, Lisa.

This is a group of friends, Lisa.

Okay, this is a group of friends.

This is not legal.

Please don't do that, like, friends.

Yeah.

Well, we're not really friends, actually.

Okay, we're not.

You don't need to sit across from me then.

You can, like, sit over there.

Like,

that's that's like Larsa's big move this dinner anytime someone annoys her she she banishes them to the corner of the table she did to adriana earlier if you're gonna cry like cry over there like yeah go to mass like so gurdy's like oh my god they're gonna do this online can we have fun i want to have fun let me kiss people oh yeah you haven't been a great friend like you always say larsa okay okay and so julia starts kissing mari soul and then she starts trying to change the energy by kissing everybody you know what take your herpes energy over there get the fuck out of here with your energy changing i'm like this bad enough i have to listen to people fight now i got to get like sexually mauled by your creepy goat ass get over there

well that being said gurdy and julia did kiss and gurdy tried to give tongue so uh they seem to have been become friends again um now it's the morning alexia's face timing johnny she's like oh johnny i'm sorry i don't want to make this face time i want this face time to be all about you all about you can you believe toddler

then we go to gurdy and Adriana going to Lisa.

And so Lisa's got boots on.

And Adriana's like, come on, let's have fun.

I don't know.

They're all splitting apart to do their group stuff.

And so Alexia, Julia, Stephanie, Larsa, and Murray Soul go walk through a tile making neighborhood and talk about how beautiful everything is.

And they go meet Paula, the ceramicist.

And she goes, have you ever painted on ceramic before?

And Alexia goes, no, we haven't even like painted like on paper.

What?

Alexia has has never painted on paper her entire life.

No.

I've heard of this concept of painting, but I don't know.

Not in front of Frankie.

I almost painted, but then Frankie was there.

I was like, I don't want to do this in front of Frankie.

And Stephanie says, I doodle all the time in meetings.

I take notes that say masude with hearts.

Jackson, by the way, my son, my new adopted son, Jackson, made a Picasso painting on my truck with a rock.

Okay.

Picasso must have early access to the season.

I love that he's just like completely fucking up our car.

His Picasso painting, I'm not sure.

Martinez said it spells word, but if it spells word, it says, fuck you, get off show.

Don't understand.

Martina's like, well, I guess it's open season.

And she starts like dipping paint, tennis balls and paint and banging them against her truck.

What are you doing to my truck?

Everyone, it is not canvas.

So Alexia tells Mary herself, please don't paint what you painted in the room yesterday.

That was too much.

And she's like, Oh, yeah, I was male tennis healing, guys.

It's been a while since I'm talking about penises.

I paint really good penises, everybody.

I love them.

So now they all take turns drawing penises.

But Julia's is horrifying.

That's the, you know, at first, I was like, okay, whatever, because I think they did this on Potomac once where they all had to like draw like vaginas or something like that.

But Julia's, what was funny is that she was like, what, you think a lesbian cannot draw penis?

Let me do it.

And she like,

it's honestly such an easy shape to do.

And like hers was some weird bone.

It was okay.

The head of the penis, right, instead of being like a circle or a mushroom, was split in two, like a double-headed dragon or something.

And I was like, what kind of penis have you been with, girl?

You had a double header?

It was all strange.

And she signed it too.

She signed it like, oh, this is very accurate.

I will sign it.

I am artist now.

Like,

it was so deranged.

And honestly, Stephanie's was crazy too.

She did like a big old mushroom head and it looked like, it literally, it looked like an umbrella.

I was like, um.

Hers was the scariest.

Okay, so she had almost a normal looking penis.

So it had like the head, but then it had these little wings that came out of the side and went from the shaft to the head.

And then they had lines on them like dragon wings, like it was spreading its wings.

I think she wasn't.

What is my suit doing over there?

That's one old dick.

Okay.

That's a lot of foreskin going crazy.

Okay.

When the foreskin unravels like wings, you're not supposed to like

be happy about.

Something's wrong is what I'm saying.

Yeah, I think it seemed like she had made the mushroom head too mushroom-y.

So she was trying to like now contour it back into the shaft, but now it just looked like it had dragon wings, which was not what I needed to envision for Masud.

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So the other group is just walking through Seville, Sevilla, and they're going through all these beautiful old palaces.

And Adriana, who has, you know, a degree in art history and is also the resident expert on all things, is basically explaining every single thing that they walk around and through.

Yeah.

And

so she's like, the name Al-Khazar comes from Arabic, which means the fortress.

Gertie's like, oh, we've got our own private Inspector Gadget over here.

Inspector Gadget has agreed to marry the Alcazar.

Okay.

Dr.

Gadget has agreed to marry the Alcazar.

Yes, the Jack of Old Trades, Miss Inspector Gadget, which I'd love because Inspector Gadget has nothing to do with like art history or like having an awareness of, you know, Sevilla or like...

Was it her outfit that she was wearing?

I think it was wearing like a trench coat or something.

She was wearing like a little hat and trench coat, so she called her Inspector Gadget, which was just so funny to me.

So

the gold leaf ceiling and everything.

And she's like, this was the place of birth of Maria de Bourbon.

Okay.

She was a queen.

And they're like oh my god so we hear about Adriana she's like I've traveled to 58 different countries I lived in Paris and studied art history I also lived in Florence I studied Italian art and then Rome and this is why what I'm about to be like please this is why I'm able to be in places like this and understand listen I've been to a lot of places too and guess what I know dick I don't know shit okay so good good on you

Yes.

So then back over by the tiles, Stephanie turns to Larsa and goes, Larsa, I want to make sure you're you're comfortable do you want lisa to be invited on the plane because i want to make sure you're happy now this is a trap this is the because the thing is this it was not even on the table they were just all going to go on a plane whether they were fighting or not they're all going to go on a plane stephanie has now created a situation where it's like, oh, there's an option that we can exclude Lisa.

So she is doing this truly as a power play so she can disinvite Lisa, I believe.

She's doing it over and over.

She's playing the same card over and over.

She just did it on the way here.

Only some of you can come on my plane because it's like too small for everybody for a long trip.

So I'm going to pick my favorites.

And then she tried, she pulled that.

And then she tried to say, oh, Mari Sol, do you want to come without Alexia?

Oh, Alexia, do you want to come without Mari Sol?

And then that failed.

So now she's going to do it again.

This girl is a horrible, horrible human being.

Yeah, she's also a brat.

So Lara says like, I was shaking so bad yesterday.

Like, I don't know if I want to be on the same plane as her.

Yeah, but

she wasn't violent and she wasn't like there's no reason why you should feel uncomfortable.

You can be annoyed at her, but not uncomfortable.

Not enough to exclude her and enforce a mass inconvenience and expensive inconvenience, too.

I mean, it's so obnoxious that she's now pulling the card that she's uncomfortable around Lisa.

So, Julia's like, Well, there is nothing, there is something more about my friend Derek that I didn't tell you why it's so important for me to go because we are going to ask Derek and gay husband to be good parents.

And they're like, Oh,

and I don't think anyone truly cares, but they're like, that's so sweet.

So

it's very important for me to have the boys have male figures in their life who are hours and hours away and will never see boys.

So it is extremely important that Martina is not the only decrepit person in this relationship with the word family.

So now we are going to have godparents that are 90.

We are worried that Martina is just too feminine for these boys.

I worry that Martina won't be around to take care of the boys.

I'm picking people 20 years even older.

Old, old gay man in a faraway country.

So anyway, she's saying this to be to sort of set the stage that like this is going to be an important and beautiful moment.

And you saw how I lost my mind over just a simple Zoom call.

So people better be on their, on their best behavior.

So, now we go back to the others.

Yes, another way to manipulate getting Lisa out of there because now we have to worry about her babies.

And also, I don't think that she's fully adopted those kids yet.

I think that they're still waiting on the adoption to be final.

Are you supposed to be giving godparents to kids that aren't your kids yet?

What the hell?

Their rules on this are confusing the hell out of me.

I'm not really sure what's going on here, but I mean, I guess maybe they'll get a gift or something from the guys, so go for it.

Don't know, get them kids a gift.

They deserve it.

So,

the kids can get a gift, aka

a kit that will take the scratches out of a truck.

So

otherwise known as money from a gay man.

Why did you exempt money from a gay man?

It's going to be like

their first reunion on the valley.

Michelle will be there.

Why did you exempt money from a gay man to pay your bills?

To pay your bills.

So Alexia wants wants

to want Julia to talk to Lisa because she doesn't want Julia.

She's like, I don't want you to not invite Lisa.

Basically, she's like, give her a warning.

And Stephanie says, Lisa gets away with anything in this group.

She's been friends with them for a really long time, and they have learned to just accept the way she is and continue to allow her to be a destructive way, which I think is actually correct.

I think they have just gotten used to it.

It's kind of like what you were saying before, just accept her for who she is.

But like, they're accepting really unacceptable behavior, honestly.

But it's not behavior that would make you feel uncomfortable where you couldn't get onto a plane with her.

I mean, I don't know.

I just can't.

I mean, I, I, look, I obviously don't agree.

I just think that Lisa's an asshole.

I just think that they're being so mean to Lisa.

I really do.

I think they're just being jerks.

And when Stephanie says this, when she goes, you know what?

She's been friends with them for a really long time and they've just learned to accept her.

Well, yeah, that's called friendship, Stephanie.

I know you don't have any of those, but that's how it is.

You don't just like kick people off of planes and kick people out of your life and stop talking to every sister you've ever had and then cause problems between your mom and your sister so they're not speaking that's not what friendship and love is you know you have people the only normal listen it's like me ma says the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

Everyone's got something.

You're going to have to learn to deal with fucking something with everybody.

Just try and make Lisa on time.

And if not, leave her.

But you're new here and you don't get to come into a 10-year relationship and start telling people that they need to all band together to kick people off that you don't like.

Fuck off, Steph.

Well, that's a separate issue.

That's a separate issue.

I think that Lisa does

act like a spoiled brat.

And I think they have just gotten all used to it because it's easier just to be.

They all act like spoiled brats, though.

That's the thing.

Like on this cast, who doesn't act like an asshole?

Alexia is making everything about her and fucking Todd.

She makes her best friend coming into town.

She has a party for him, makes it all about Todd and sobs the entire time.

Mary Saul has a wedding every five minutes to get attention.

Larza is always dating some fucking star and doing OnlyFans to get attention.

They're all psychopaths on this show.

They're all crazy.

They are, but only one of them makes them wait an hour or so.

That's true.

I can't say that that's okay to make her wait.

I won't say that.

I'm not saying that they're, I'm not, I'm not, I think you should accept your friends' personalities maybe as they are.

But when it's their behaviors and their actions are the things that are the problem, like in terms of impacting group, that's not acceptable.

I'm not saying it's acceptable.

I'm saying this new girl has no right to do that.

That's a whole other issue.

That's a whole other issue.

I'm fine with that.

I'm fine with your argument on that.

I'm just saying, let's not make it that Lisa is some angel.

No, I'm not an angel.

Okay, let's not say that monk over here.

Monkey is not an animal.

Monkey.

All right, monkey's not some angel who's like the victim of like these gang up here.

She's creating her own issues.

Okay.

I agree.

Stephanie has her own.

Stephanie has her own idiot.

I agree.

Lisa has asshole behaviors, and I wouldn't sit around and wait for her for two minutes like they do.

And I've said that

as Adriana says, there are two issues here.

And that's the thing.

Lisa being late over and over and over again should be called out and should be shamed.

And by late, like really late, like really, really late.

And Stephanie, you brandishing her plane like a weapon, like me giving out jolly ranchers in the back of the school bus in fourth grade just to make friends.

That is also shitty and stupid as well.

And they, they can coexist.

Yeah.

By the way, that was not an for anyone who's wondering who's listening at home, that was not an awkward silence, Ronnie was just sipping.

No, I was drinking.

I was taking a nice big thirsty goat because I'm a thirsty person.

You're like, oh my God, they're fighting.

They're fighting right now.

No, no, no.

It's not fighting.

I just, I just, ultimately, I really like Lisa.

And I think, I think the way that they're dealing with her now is better than they've ever dealt with her, which is just leaving.

She's not going to make the flight.

Fine.

She has to go to the house.

That's what it should be.

She doesn't want to go to dinner on time.

Fine.

They just leave and then she shows up late.

I just don't understand why they're doing that.

And now they're so mad.

It's like Lisa comes to dinner two hours late.

Yes.

Is it rude?

Sure.

And saying, Lisa, you're rude, I guess, is totally fine.

But ultimately, like, why be so mad?

It's just, it just seems like a waste of time to me.

But you know what?

I also understand that I'm repeating myself over and over again, and I don't need to do that either.

See, I'm becoming crazy like that.

I want to address something.

I do think that their fury at Lisa having to deal with the notary at dinner feels a little manufactured, not manufactured, but like that.

There's no reason for them to be mad at her about that.

She got a call that she has to deal with the notary.

I mean, does she make it everyone's business?

Yes.

Should she just step away and deal with it?

Sure.

But I don't think it's the end of the world.

Larsa, that was Larsa being an asshole, making that like the biggest drama in the world.

But, and I agree.

I think that like rather than Stephanie having this whole drama about like, she's not invited because she's gonna like she's gonna whatever this edit the jetiquet is, she's gonna violate it.

If Lisa's late to the plane, Lisa's late to the plane and she will have to make her own way to Marbea.

But I don't think there has to be any more thought than that.

Yeah, and then her blaming everything, her being like, oh, you want to make excuses for her?

It's been years where you've given her chances to be late and disrespect to you.

And she's also come in and ruined the environment.

Which is her pronunciation and stuff is fine.

She's ruined it.

She's, you know what?

You know what?

She's going to bury this entire trip with how, with all the things that she's ruined from it.

She's going to bury it with ruined.

But accusing her of ruining the environment is silly when Larsa is the one having a fit and stalking off and getting up and leaving dinner and telling everybody to shut up and telling Adriana to shut up.

It's like, it's fine for Larsa because she's your friend, but you're not calling her out like you call everybody else out.

So be fair, Stephanie.

Not that I would expect that from you, but come on.

So now, given the option,

I don't want to be on a plane with her.

Like, I don't want to be in a car with her.

Like, I don't want to be in a train with her.

Like, I don't want to be in a tram with her.

Like, I don't want to be on a tandem bike with her.

Like, I don't want to be on a skateboard with her.

Like, I don't want to be on anything with her.

Like, okay, well, you know what?

The good news is the plane rides only 22 minutes.

So that's the good news, everyone.

Is she saying the good news is you guys can all deal because it's only 22 minutes?

Or she's saying the good news is it'll be easy for Lisa because it's only 22 minutes, not that inconvenient.

Yeah, she's just saying you only have to deal with her 22 minutes.

Shut up.

So Stephanie's like, everyone knows there's such a thing as jetiquet.

It's etiquette on a jet for those of you who didn't know.

But Lisa

figure out the pun.

And I already think that rule number one of jetiquet, she's going to break it.

And who wants bad vibes in the sky?

Nobody.

I'm going to kick her off for being possibly late

to a plane.

Yes.

Potentially late.

So Lars is like, I'm in a situation.

You're in a situation where you're with someone that's taking notes and saying them to someone who doesn't give a shit about you guys.

Like, wait, who's she sending the notes to?

Jody?

Is that what she's saying?

Alexis, like, you know, something's going on with her.

You know, Lisa was never like this.

It's like, I don't know.

Is she like going through a divorce or something?

Like, something's going on with her.

It's crazy.

You know, Lisa would never take a note.

This is like crazy.

Like, she never even took them in school.

That's why she got in trouble.

And Mary Soul says, oh, it's like she's thinking more now or something.

I mean, all the wheels are spinning.

I mean, it's disgusting.

Who needs a thinking Lisa?

This is terrible.

This is where evolution goes wrong.

Okay.

People like Lisa weren't meant to think, monkey.

Okay.

The expression is monkey see, monkey do, not monkey see, monkey think.

We've all seen what happens when monkeys start to think.

I saw Planet of the Apes.

James Franco is dead.

He's dead now

what would happen if lisa takes over this planet it'd be terrible we got to get her to stop thinking

i don't want to get sued i like my money and lars is like well that's what i'm like saying like like i don't want to like be on the plane with her like like i'm not willing to lose anything for someone else's like situation like and like i think you can all like agreed to like that like okay now you guys are making it that they're suing you no one is suing you she's saying that you called her name so she can remember to call you out at the reunion for all the names you called her okay and we've seen Lisa at reunions and we see why she needs to take notes because Lisa in the reunion will be like, you were mean to me.

How?

That time you did that.

Lenny.

So other group, Lisa's saying, this is the first time I've been on a trip.

Okay, this is the first time on the trip, this whole trip that I've been in the moment.

I have had so much personal stuff going on.

And I have to say, like the lawsuits have like taken up so much of my time.

I'm like, are you really in the moment?

Because you're talking about the lawsuits actively right now.

What are you talking about?

You're in the moment.

Do you know how hard it was being in Bali with lawyers?

It was so difficult.

It was the hardest vacation I've ever been on.

I haven't had a break, guys.

Guys, Logan has been asking us to fix the relationship, and I just feel like I'm crumbling.

So Kiki's like, well, I don't feel like it's okay for somebody's boyfriend to be calling another person in the group.

She's like, well, she started it.

I mean, she literally said his name.

So it was about him.

So yes, I told him.

And Kiki's like saying, you know, it's it's bad enough that Jodi's texting the women, but it's the amount of Texases.

And that just, it's not right.

So at least

how do you say

texts?

Me too.

I say texts.

Not Texases, but like the women on this show have been saying Texas.

Texas.

Texties.

It pops up every now and then.

Yeah, people say it differently.

Housewives especially say Texties, I think, or Texas.

Texas.

Texas.

Texas.

Texas.

That's what they say.

It's kind of like Texas, but Texas.

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