#2777 RHOBH S1417 Part Two: Bird Brained Carnies

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Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

What happens?

Watch what crap is.

Watch what crap is.

Who cares what happens when there's so much crap is?

It's so funny.

Watch what crap is.

Over the little feet of crap is. Who cares of that, let's get right back into the episode.
So then they all start to gather around doing some more shopping and stuff. I like this line, though.
She goes, I just want to be a Barbie tonight, okay? Just pretend that I don't have an IQ of 140. Okay.
Be dumb enough to hang out with you idiots. Then Kyle goes up to Bo's and she's like, are you okay? She's like, I cannot with that situation.
She can't hear any form of criticism, says Kyle Richards. Well, so what does she want to do? Does she just want to pretend like nothing happened? That's going to be very awkward, isn't it? If we all are just sitting around pretending nothing is the matter, how are we supposed to have fun with that? I mean, the only thing that could be more awkward would be if we all put on enormous wings and had to sit around a tiny table together.
Yeah, Bose is still doing that thing. Like, what? How can women hang out together and not get along? Okay.
So then, now they all start to sit at the table, and Kathy asks for bags of ice to put under her armpits because she's so hot. And Dorit's like, Well, you know Sutton's mind goes to, we're colluding because that's her type of behavior.
That's the kind of shit she would do. Yeah, that's a good one.
So then Sutton's like avoiding going to the table. So she's like loitering at a vendor and the vendor's like, here's some sexy oil for the bedroom.
I think I'm good. I don't want to put a lot of oil on me.
You know what? I just realized I think I'd rather sit at a table with these women than talk to all these poor people selling trinkets. So goodbye, sir.
I know. I loved how I annoyed she was.
Sexy oil for the bedroom. Does it make a bed? Then get it the fuck out of my face, poor person.
Have some respect. So Kathy gets her eyes and then they're all sitting there and they're like talking it's like it gets like quiet at the table it's awkward you know they're all staring at Sutton like is she gonna do something is she gonna do something so she's like well place cards are the best thing that can ever happen because then my options are not to sit across from someone who thinks I kick women when they're down or next to someone that obviously does not like me so they they change seats so that Sutton doesn't have to be an awkward seating.
So that's how it's starting, where Sutton needs the seats changed. So Kathy's like, oh, wow, look, Barbie's here, everybody.
I got Barbie to smile. How's your vagina working, Barbie? And then a cute waiter comes to take their orders.
And then Kyle's like, oh, garcelle you're like hi what can i order like your eyes like um so they're like laughing at garcelle and garcelle's like look my dating life is i'm not on the apps if i meet someone through a friend or at whole foods or outside my house in oxenard which i don't know if you know this i i built a house in Oxnard. You know, I'm open.
If he's cute enough, I may have a little fun, but if he's not cute, I'll just have to say no. Yeah.
I'm on the apps. I'm on Instacart because they show a picture of your shopper and I'm on TaskRabbit and I'm on DoorDash and I'm on Uber, of course, you know, so I'm just hoping that it's kind of, you know, you just kind of hope.

Yeah, you never know.

One of these days it'll work out.

Keep on dreaming.

So then I'm just looking for a man to say, the brownies aren't here.

So instead, I'm going to get you some Little Debbie's.

Instead of, the brownies aren't here, so I'm refunding that part of your order and just pretending the brownies aren't a necessity.

Yeah.

You know, that's not my soulmate.

You need someone who knows that shop for you.

So Kathy excuses herself to go to the bathroom,

and then it's just more awkward silence.

And then Kathy comes back,

and now she's in like a little dress.

She goes, everyone, I have a little secret.

I tinkled in my shorts.

They're like, what?

Yeah, I tinkled. Tinkled in the shorts.
God damn it. Sit your ass down.
Oh, my God. So, now they start doing impersonations of each other.
Kyle does a pretty good Jennifer Tilly. And Garcelle does a good...
Kyle's good at imitations in general, by the way.

She should lean into that more because

that's her most enduring side

is when she does imitations.

Yeah, she does good ones. So she did a good

one of Jennifer Tilly. And then Garcelle

does one of Erica.

Hers is just really deep. She's like,

Tom's car went over a hill.

It snows in Pasadena.

I'm going to come for you, bitch. And then Jennifer Chili starts doing Sutton.
She starts going, no ma'am. No ma'am.
No ma'am. And Dorit's like, ooh, I spent another long time thinking about this.
She's trying to do her southern accent overlaid over her pan-European accent that she has.

And it's both Erika and Dorit just going with their southern accents at her. And it doesn't

really work as well when you don't like the person. You know what I mean? I think it makes

it less good-natured. So, Sutton gets mad, and she looks like an idiot again, because

you can't even take it in good fun. So, instead, she like nobody talks like this okay nobody talks like that and then kyle's like sun is like really bringing such a negative energy to this it's like it's like dorit and erica's birthday like hopefully we can ignore sutton in the corner and just enjoy ourselves but like once again sutton wants to make this all about her i'm like well because well, because they're mocking her.
Yeah. She can still lighten up Sutton.
Oh, my God. All she had to be was like, oh, that's hilarious, girls.
But instead, she's like, what a terrible accent. So then Sutton could always lighten up.
Let's be honest. It's not just at this table.
But then we wouldn't have the son that we know and love yeah so then uh they sing happy birthday

and they're like we hope you get some tonight we hope you got some tonight we hope you get lovely presents hope you got some tonight like oh my god that is hilarious that is hilarious so uh then they get some cake and um they find out it's yellow cake and son's like i don't want piece of yellow cake. Thank you.
Sutton, you're going to lose me now. And so, but she just doesn't want the cake because she's protesting.
She like doesn't want to contribute to the celebration of these two women that she hates. So, Bo's is saying that there'll be some activities tomorrow, etc.
And they all pretty much just get up and go. And Sutton's like, I did the boat.
I showed up for the dinner. I got made fun of.
I've had enough. They just like to kick me down or up.
I'm being kicked by these women. That's fucking bullshit.
Which is funny because she's basically taking Erica's criticism of Sutton and now applying it to them. She's like, they are kicking me when I'm down.
Yeah. So now people are back in their rooms getting ready for The next day.
We see Jennifer Tilly and Garcelle preparing, you know, it's like, let's get clothes on. Oh, my God.
So then Jennifer Tilly's like, look at my ring. Scarparelli looks like a jellyfish, doesn't it? It was nine million dollars.
It's my vacation jewelry. I know.
Well, you better not lose it. She lose it she's like oh this thing this is a cheapo um so then uh over kathy and kyle's villa kathy is um you know she greets the resort staff as they bring in breakfast and everything and then um we see but both and button both and sudden button they um arrive at it they or go to a chocolatatier because this is going to be an attempt to bond a little bit.
Because Bose is saying how, you know, Sutton always thinks there's always distance between them. And she's like, I do believe that Sutton has made a narrative in her head that I am Team Dorit and nobody else.
When the truth is, I'm Team Dorit and now a little bit team Kyle, but mainly Dorit. So she's a little bit incorrect there.
So to prove her wrong, I'm going to have a chocolate-making scene where I take everything that she says and take it to Dorit. So see how this works.
Yeah, precisely. So then we go to Jennifer Tilly, and she's like, Oh, wow, did you guys order some food? I mean, we've got sunscreen.

Wow, this is living.

I'm having such a great life.

I've gotten to a place in my life where everything is fabulous.

And Kyle's just like, I hate you.

Kyle's just like, apparently somebody doesn't have a chair to move from the living room to the dining room.

I know.

She's like, oh, are you our waiter guy? Okay, I hear pina coladas are good for the heat. So can we have some pina coladas and also the pulled pork sliders and some fish tacos, please? And Kyle is horrified that anyone would order this amount of food on this show.
So Garcelle's like, well, Kyle, have you posted your thirst trap yet from Oregon?

There, I said it. She's like, no, no, I'm not

feeling that thirsty right now.

Well, my thirst trap is heading

to 100,000

likes, and I really figured out

what Instagram likes. Nipples!

So he's in that photo.

And Kyle's like, well, last night was really

interesting, and Thank you. so he's in that photo and um kyle's like well last night was really interesting and uh garcelle's like well should we start off in the suite she's like well first of all we're all the closest to sutton and we love her so much guys don't we love her god i have to say i love sutton so much so now everything i say going forward comes from a place of love automatically okay but like i need you guys to be open-minded that she's a fucking bitch and she's awful and she's like really needy and she's stupid and no one likes her.
But I love her so much. Yeah.
So Garcelle's like, well, you know, look, this sounds weird, but in Sutton's story, you're the hero. Why? I don't know.
I've been on this show for five years and I still can't figure it out. She's like, but I mean, none of us said anything.
Why am I being singled out here? My God. She's like, well, I think when you don't do it, it hurts more.
But why? I don't know. It's a question for Sutton.
It literally makes no sense. I mean, look, Jennifer is an Oscar nominee, which is pretty, pretty cool.
And she's also incredibly wealthy and I'm famous in my own right. And still, that's not enough for Sutton.
So we don't get it. And honestly, at this point, we don't care.
Yeah. And she's like, so Kyle, I wanted to check in with you also.
You know, we're talking about Bo's calling you and seeing Mo. Does that make you want to do something like, I don't know, lick a vagina? Well, I don't see the benefit of rushing to get a divorce, at least not before the knot decides to run a cover story on us again.
And Garcelle's like, well, you're not even rushing to get any information at all? Like, what information? And like, where do I start? Like, all that stuff. And Jennifer's like, okay, well, I'm going to tell a story that's going to make you feel really poor.
Okay. So I have had lots of friends who've been married to lots of wealthy men, Sutton included, and they're like, oh, been the nicest people in the world.
And then all of a sudden the lawyers come in and they do this and that. And my ex, who I love very much, much the day he died.
And like, when we got divorced, we had $700,000 in the bank and he's like, I'm going to give you $350,000. And then someone said to me, Jennifer, I think you need to get a divorce lawyer.
Well, did you end up getting more money than the $350,000? I got a piece of the Simpsons. I mean, come on.
I'm not buying diamonds. I'm chucky money.
The chucky money just pays for my snacks. So brilliant.
It's so amazing. Some people are like, well, now that garcelle's leaving make jennifer full-time but and then i saw someone else on twitter say don't make her full-time because jennifer's position is friend of as someone who's outside and comes in and makes commentary and then drops moments like this is perfect and i fully agree i don't want jennifer i don't want a situation where jennifer we may have to comment about jennifer's life being boring or i don't want to have to be in a situation where people are ganging up on jennifer she has a bad season i love jennifer as as she is and i just want to preserve her in this state yeah well i don't think she's ever going to have i don't think she's going to get away with people not turning on her i mean that's just housewives role you know she'll do yeah there will be something where she'll say something where people like, oh, my God, I can't believe I ever liked her for at least six months.
You know, that's true. But and also, you know, she's too popular for Kyle and the group not to turn on her.
So, yeah, they'll be trying it with her. And we see them trying.
We see them testing the waters in this very episode. And it doesn't really work.
But we'll see. So now Dorit and Erica are having breakfast, and Erica's like, wait a minute, is that a waffle? She goes, no, definitely not woofles.
And she said that literally in your accent, your Dorit accent. She was literally like, definitely not.
I was like, wow, she's been listening. So, Kathy is just putting creams and potions all over herself and trying to get the mirror to talk back to her as she does.

So we go back to the chocolates here and they're learning how to make all of these little chocolates.

And then we get to the discussion.

So Buzz is like, so what are your thoughts?

It's like, well, you know, I love that Jackie Kennedy answer.

If I told you my thoughts, it wouldn't be my thoughts anymore. What did she go? Oh, wow.
What a bitch. Jackie Kennedy was not joking around, huh? Well, you know what? I heard what those women said.
Oh, with no agreement or disagreement? You just heard? We've had a lot of discussions. You know, Eric and I have been really getting along and she showed no animosity to me and it seemed to come out of nowhere oh really because she said it to me before and then we see flashbacks like oh no she's been talking about you this whole season yeah yeah she's been talking about you behind your back and we see footage of that you know flashbacks etc so boz is, so I thought it was actually maybe good that she said it out loud.

Oh, well, that's great.

I'm glad she could get it out.

I thought about what she said. And I also thought Erica herself was down.

And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and Kyle did the same thing that I did.

And ask questions, the exact same thing.

And their husbands even made fun of Erica.

And then we see flashbacks, that scene where Mauricio and Mo are making fun of Erica. Yeah.
That there was no repercussions. It's like there is a strange double standard or triple standard with these women, you know, and Bo's doesn't understand our history.
So I need to explain it. And so Sutton's like, I've apologized and I'm not doing it again.
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Moen. so then back at the resort

Erica's like, oh, we were just so silly last night, weren't we? And Dorit says, I was just so frustrated. You know, Sutton is not consistently a bitch.
Sutton is not consistently mean-spirited. She's not, you know, sometimes she's a decent person.
Why do I have black teeth right now? Nobody knows. Yeah.
She's been... That was weird, right? I was like, were you brushing? Maybe she was doing charcoal? Maybe she was doing that charcoal thing.
Yeah. That's what I was wondering.
Yeah, and Erica's like, you know, because the moments when she's absolutely great, and you have the moments, then, you know, and then you bring it to the table, but, like, I brought my thoughts to the table, and instead it turned into everyone's being mean to me. It's a pile-on.
This is a gang-up. And then Dorit's like, that's her.
Yeah. And the parody.
My problem with Sutton is that even when she's apologizing, it's performative. And I feel like it's a sucker punch coming right around the corner a sucker punch

um uh so so dorit's like sutton is lacking sincerity but now it's gotten to a degree i don't trust most of the things that come out of her mouth you don't have any problems with rina i mean look rina was like probably one of the least sincere people right like how are you so good to see you you know um well it's also dorit saying she lacks sincerity when dorit is sitting there in like a hundred thousand dollars worth of fake clothes and brands dripping off of her she's in a house she's pretending to own that is owned by some other company that is now kicking her out because she's bankrupt i mean she's one of the fakest people who's ever been on the show girl you're saying this line with 10 different accents that aren't yours could you please stay away from insincerity allegations ma'am so back to the chocolatier lady who got ten thousand dollars stolen from the home goods i mean the dollar store i mean the best buy so sudden's like back at the chocolatier sounds like i've had to have a come to jesus moment with who yourself yes me and jesus jesus pummeled me and i had to say look this is hard i had to remember that both of the both those girls have gone through right now and then i have to look at where i am in life, a lady who has a tiny boutique that may or may not be open somewhere in West Hollywood. And that must be hard for them to look at.
So we see, let's see, what do we see here? So she's like, I'm done. Sorry, I was in a different part.
She's like, I'm done. And yeah, when she's like, it's just so difficult, you know, where you've got these people and i just i just think look at these poor women who can never be me that must be hard on them and boza's like uh i don't think so yeah i don't know that they're jealous of you she's like what what wouldn't they be jealous of what would they name one thing she's like oh yeah i'm done with this conversation i just think the allegiance from from Kyle goes to those two, and it always will, to be honest.
So it's like, yeah, you see it sudden, so stop chasing it. You know where Kyle's loyalties are, and just what you have to do is have a moment where you say, fuck this bitch.
Fuck this fake bitch who acts like she's going to have my back, and she never does, and at the end of the day, she's always going to be, you know, you get nothing for nothing.

I'm sorry I did it. But at the end of the day,

she is always going to have those two

women's backs, and so stop trying to chase it

and just make your own happiness.

So then back to Eric and Dorit.

Eric is like, well, whatever you're going through,

she's going through. Okay, fine.

Well, what made me angry

was when Miss Jennifer Tilly said it was

coordinated. And Dorit's like, oh, she felt like it was coordinated, really.
Just a bunch of excuses. So you should say something tonight.
You too. All right, let's do it.
Not coordinated at all. Not at all.
Okay, I'll start, and then you come in. And then if you're going too long, I'll butt in and I'll say something.
And then you say something also. And I actually wrote out some note cards, and you can just study those.
And if things things get really bad we can bring in a teleprompter. Great! So now they're getting ready for Carnival and Bose has arranged for them to all have these crazy outfits, you know, big feathered showgirl outfits for Carnival.
So they're putting them all on and this part was so fucking funny watching all these ladies put these on. The most horrific part was when Dorit's hairdresser tells her to twerk and dorit does it i've never seen an ass clap that little i mean i've never seen that happen was it like i'm not even sure if it was an ass clap i mean it was just kind of like it was just like she was just doing like weird squats or something like that yeah she did some squats it was just like an up and down up and down.
It wasn't really a twerk. It was more like a blurk.
It was just, it was not good. And this is why you never trust your hairdresser because her hairdresser was like, oh my God, yes, Icon, nailed it.
So Bose is saying that they're celebrating Carnival tonight, you know, because it's such a huge thing in the Caribbean and beyond. And so they're just going just going to celebrate it which was and so they're all putting on different outfits and different levels of undress depending on how comfortable they are so erica was basically wearing bare minimum and she looked fucking amazing and then uh kathy was funny because she basically had like a like a caftan on and she had her but she had her wings on at the same time but it all worked it actually was all kind of great and but they all didn't they were not in a space that was made for the wings because they all had to like walk sideways through hallways and through doors and they were like it was so funny when they all walked up to the dinner table and they were like how are we going to sit down but they did and then they all sat down and they just showed what the table looked like from the outside and it was just pure feathers i know like walls of crazy feathers you know the producers were like we're never doing this again we cannot get good shots because they couldn't shoot through people's shoulders they just had to stick a camera at the one end of the table and just like hope for the best you know so funny it was amazing oh yeah okay so they did that and then um jennifer let me i'm just fast forwarding to get.
I know me too. I'm like, okay, so they get some rum punches and they're cheersing to their final night and all that.
And Jennifer is complimenting Kathy on her rhinestones. And she goes, well, you need to take those feathers to the next Rockefeller ball or something.
And Kathy goes, actually, I don't know if they approve. Like, wow, so the Rockefellers are anti-carnival or? Yeah, there was something sort of, there was a subtext there that I think that maybe we all picked up on, right? Yeah, or like, do they shoot birds? I mean, what's their deal? I'm not sure.
So, I'm still, by the way, I'm still scrolling through so much of this feather shit. So Erica's like, well, everybody.
So everyone's getting along. So Erica's like, well, it is the finale.
We're in feathers. Let's fucking do this, right? It is okay.
I have a question. I heard about Dorit and I planning this thing on the boat.
Who's saying it? Is it you, Jennifer Tilly? Or is it you, Garthel? I was like, oh, Erica, what a badass. Wow, you're really going to get somebody to confess to something horrible.
So Jennifer Tilly's like, um, well, listen, if I feel bad if it made you feel bad, Irka, you know, yesterday people were saying what's going on with Saturn and, you know, we were just sort of, here's how it appeared. That's all I meant to say.
She goes, well, when I went to it today, it was very calm, very adult. I was like, sure.
No. And then Erica's like, but because of our history, because I want to sincerely move on.
and i believe you do too because erica's doing the the intense articulation i believe you do you do too you want to move on as well so it's like yes i do want to move on from this table all these feathers are very agitating to me she's like well but also this is kind of unfair because erica's confronting her about what happened last night and being like how dare you say that and then she's saying well sudden didn feel that way. Well, Erica went to see her today and we see a clip of Erica going to visit her and saying, oh, well, your friends, Garcelle and Jennifer, said that we did this to you on purpose.
Is that true? And she's like, well, I can speak to what they said. And she goes, well, I'm asking you right now.
Did you know that? Do you know that was being said or not? Like, what kind of mystery is this, Erica? It's so stupid. And Sutton's like, no, I didn't know that at all.
So Sutton's not really standing up for her friends either. Sutton should have said, yeah, my feelings were hurt by that whole thing, and I told them, and they went and stood up for me.
It's not that big of a deal. But also, like, why is Erica being so aggro about this point? Why doesn't she just sit there and say, listen, I want to talk about yesterday.
I there are some of you believe that what Dorit and I did was a coordinated attack. I know it may have looked like that.
And I just want to let you know it was not coordinated. And even if it were coordinated, I wouldn't even be embarrassed about it being coordinated because we both feel the same way about the same thing.
And it's okay for two people to feel the same way. And I said something about how I felt.
So I just want you to know that we were not coordinating

to try to make her feel like shit.

I was just saying my piece.

Well, she can't do it that way.

She can't do it that way

because that's what she does.

No, she makes it to where

you're questioning something else.

It's not about what she said.

It's about what people

accused her of how she said it.

Or it's not about

the crimes Tom committed.

It's that people questioned her. So she's always changing the framing of it to yell at somebody else for her own but sudden's not helping here either sudden's not standing up for her friends at all because she just wants erica to be nice to her so she's like i have no idea why they would do that like awesome son's not a good friend i'm sorry it is kind of wild that they would not show a whole whole scene with Erica and Sutton because they had a huge fight and clearly this was maybe a moment to make amends and they just only show the clip of it in the flashback.
It's a little odd. So Erica's like, listen, I don't care where it came from.
I don't care how it resolves. It's important that you look at me and you hear what I'm saying.
That was not a coordinate attack and that's all. And thank you for listening.
My TED Talk is over. Gosh.
So Garcelle's like, well, let me just say this. Erica Jane, you and I are building our friendship and I appreciate it.
And we've come a long way. And you said, you don't believe, you don't believe it, but we have.
And Garcelle's basically saying how she's trying to focus on having better relationships with these women. And obviously that doesn't really work out because she's like, bye, leaving the show.
Yeah. So she's going to concentrating on not only being friends with Sutton this next year, which is out the window already.
So Bose is so proud. And she's like, I feel like we're about to take wedding vows.
Ha ha. And Erica's like, clearly I'm not ever doing that again.
I love you. But no.
Listen, is this a toxic sisterhood? Yes. But at the end day we can come together we can have laughs we can be silly and support each other no matter what and then we can also realize because it is a toxic sisterhood why the fuck are we here goodbye everyone goodbye America I'm out and so we see them party at carnival and dance in their outfits and stuff.
And Trixie's singing, watch me go, go, go.

Watch me go, go, go.

And then Kyle starts, there's fire dancers, and then it starts raining.

Kyle's like, I love the rain.

And I love you guys.

It's just all like so happy and sisterhood.

And dun, dun, dun.

So here are the exciting things happening in people's lives.

It's going to like so happy and sisterhood and So here are the exciting things happening in people's lives Garcella continues to call the shots on her sets

But her favorite new role is grandma to Oliver's new daughter

Valley

Which why?

You know what?

I just feel like Valley is a curious name

Like you know, you know the phrase peaks and valleys?. You know what the better part of that phrase is? Have you been to also, it's kind of like Los Angeles, you know, kind of a defeatist name, you know, especially if you give them a sibling and name it peak.
Those over the last year, I found a lot about myself, how to navigate outside the corporate world and outside the corporate rules, and how to deal with an assistant who loves to bedazzle everything in sight. These groups of women are interesting individually and friends I'm excited to get to know better.
Yeah, yeah, okay. So then we see her as BOSE has started her fertility journey with Keely, choosing the natural route.
Girl, I will eat an ice cream sandwich if you ever get pregnant with a baby on purpose with keely this is not happening i'm not buying this for two seconds and i refuse to even pretend anymore no and keely finally said i love you so that's nice wow sudden a full like four months after you started trying to have children for him yeah great yeah great sounds great hey i've learned something. I've learned that I can be kind of a jerk.
I can be a better friend, a better daughter, change anything from this year. It would probably be, if I would change anything, it'd probably be my relationship with Dorit.
I wish I'd handled it better. As in, I wish I'd called her a fucking bitch instead of just a bitch.
Oh, well. And her wrap up is Sutton and Dorit's relationship remains on ice.
It's so chilled that Sutton actually drank it. But hey, she's getting along with her mom.
So that's good. When I get home, I just know I have so many type of conversations with Mauricio and decisions will have to be made.
And if I'm not going to be married to Mauricio, I have to have a great life with someone. I don't know who it is, but I'm going gonna stand in the wings of a concert until i figure out

who that lucky person is and uh this is all because she does not break up with mo either kyle and mauricio continue their stalemate over their next steps and kyle remains open to love in her life while hopefully avoiding the paparazzi that she calls and then we have dorit's big wrap upit, take it away. Well, I'm a hell of a lot chiffer than I thought I was.
I want to focus me attention not in places filled with toxicity, not in friendships, and not in my marriage. I want peace.
I want a penis. I deserve it.
And I'm going to fight for it. Dorit and PK currently have no plans to rekindle their relationship, but they are working on co-parenting better.
And Dorit is considering filtering PK's emails to her junk folder. That was a nice season finale.
And then it goes one month later. I'm like, what? That's a Bronco show.
That's how we roll now. We can't just end it.
We're picking up the cameras. So now we have the most, listen, I enjoy picking up the cameras when there's a real scandal, but now this is, this is not a pick up the cameras moment.
This is something that can be covered in the ring. So one month later.
So Garcelle, actually, I'm glad that this happened because something very great happened. So first we see Garcelle with Oliver and the kids, Who cares cares and then we see bows doing yoga who cares and then most importantly sutton goes into her backyard and there is a dead rat lying by her pool in the most dead rat position on its back like oh and she's like no no no no no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no obby obby obby they're gonna eat it no no no no no no no no no the dogs are just up there sniffing it just seeing sudden having to interface with a dead rat is so amazing i was like okay it was all worth it.
then we go to Erica's house, and she's like, look at me. One of you now.
My poor tiny little house eating ice cream like a poverty-stricken hookah. Here we go.
Watch me eat some ice cream. And then she reads on her phone.
I'm August 27th, Tom Girardi. My husband was found guilty of embezzlement.
And then she looks away, and it's supposed to look like she's emoting but she really does does look like a robot with spinning beach ball in its eyes like i would never could never i never saw this coming really do you not read articles or see headlines for four for four years i mean i'll check your own docket of lawsuits you fucking weirdo. I mean, I'm assuming she meant previously in her relationship.
She goes, Tom was loved. He was admired.
All the judges paid for his meals. They just loved him so much.
And he was accomplished. And this is how his story ended.
I don't know that I will ever get over that. Yeah.
Oh, well. I'm so sorry.
You thought you'd get away with it, sucker. And you did, actually.
She's kind of the hero of the story, because she actually got away with everything. So then Kyle comes in, and she's like, wow, this place is so nice.
This place is so cheap. Wow.
It's a wallpaper. That's great.
So cool. So Kyle says that Erica has proven to be a loyal friend time and time again.
So Kyle is saying I knew this would be a hard day. Kyle's so dumb.
She goes, I knew this would be a hard day for Erica. And you know, as soon as I heard about this, you were the first person I thought of.
It's like, really? When you heard about Erica's husband going to jail, you thought about Erica? Wow. The way your mind works.
I wish I could get a tour of it. It's just amazing.
I saw that headline and I immediately thought, how is Jamie Lee Curtis dealing with this? So she said to bring you a wind chime. Hope you like it.

So, Eric was like, terrible! Right before the verdict

I was doing so good. You know,

I was looking at wallpaper, thinking about wallpaper,

talking about wallpaper,

and I was feeling so good about it, and then

the next day, it was like, I just

wanted to sleep. I didn't

want to go back to that dark, terrible place when

these walls didn't even have wallpaper on them.

I

realized if these walls could talk,

they'd say, please stop singing inside.

And the next one, want to go back to that dark, terrible place when these walls didn't even have wallpaper on them. I realized if these walls could talk, they'd say, please stop singing inside.
And that hurt. That hurt.
It hurt me deeply. But, you know, I've gone into all signs of depression.
I'm eating one bite of ice cream at a time. I'm sleeping late.
I'm trying to fuck cannibals in my neighborhood again. All the self-destructive things that I was doing back a couple of years ago.
And it made me think, wow, what are times? And then she keeps looking off into space and trying to cry. But she is just ISIS chick.
She is just ISIS. And it's hilarious that they're like, hey, let's end this season by having Erica be vulnerable.
She just can't do it. Can't.
It's like, actually, it winds up being a deeply uninteresting scene. She's like, my drinking, my medication.
It was all this pressure. And I thought, oh, my God, it's happening again.
It's happening. I feel like I'm being dragged down into the underneath.
Oh, God. But I'm actually fine.
So, anyway, he was convicted of four accounts of Y fraud. And it's like 80 years or some shit.
I don't know. He doesn't even have 80 days in him.
Good luck, motherfucker. I mean, I'm sad.
He's now being represented by public defenders, and she doesn't speak to him. And you know, this whole thing, we give Erica so much shit, but I have to keep, because you won't even call Tom or go see Tom.
I mean, I know there's legal cases and stuff going on, but that man kind of stole all the money and funneled it into your stuff. The least you could do is check in on him.
I mean, Jesus Christ. Or maybe she's just saying this because she doesn't want to get in trouble with, I mean, I don't know.
I mean, look, I'm not going to be a total dick, even though I'd like to be a total dick. I will be.
No, but look, you're in a relationship with someone for 20 years. You know, I will acknowledge that it is sad to see this person that was like your life.
Now they're just sort of, this is like their epilogue. It is sad from her perspective to see it.
For the rest of us, like whatever. He was a fraudster.
So it is what it is, you know. But so she's like, that's not over for me.
And it's not over. I still have shit in front of me that he put me through.
This experience with this man. Well, it was great.
The ending is not okay. And for many reasons.
My feeling of sadness. My feeling of being overwhelmed.
My feeling of loss. Those were very real.
And I don't have to apologize for my feelings. Because no one lived in that house but the two of us.
There were good times. bad times you know she's doing that whole thing and so i was like um i hope you know that i'm always here for you as long as you keep yelling at carcel for me and she's like i do know that i do talking about again who is this i know carl does like a look because erica keeps doing these monologues of like the best of times the worst of times i had it all it all fell there was a wall there was a wall breaker and kyle you just see kyle staring off into space like i wonder how bees are made kyle being a shitty friend is one of my favorite things just not listening wait you never told me that you were married she does that thing all the time yeah wait you never told me that you were married? She does that thing all the time.
Wait, you never told me that Tom was in trouble? Yeah. Wait, Tom's in trouble.
Who's Tom? Did you tell me this? Who's Tom? Are you sure you told me? You never told me that. Erica's like, well, the hard part is over.
And Kyle, I want to tell you this right now, woman to woman. You and I have a unique opportunity to be a different version of ourselves right here, right now.
we've had to walk through a lot of pain, a lot of heartache, a lot of lesbianism. Am I right? Sorry, I had to try it.
I was like, wait a minute. Yeah, she basically is like, now we can reinvent ourselves.
It's a safe space. Are you a lesbian? That's what this is about.
Do you want to do that? And she's like, I'm going to have some fucking fun. We deserve to have some fucking fun.
Actually, you don't really deserve to have some fucking fun. But I have to credit you for having as much fun as you've had over the past few years.
Because I think that could have killed. I think what Erica went through, whether I believe it's partially her fault, I do, or not.
I think that the getting caught and all of that, I think that would have killed most people. But Erica's like, fuck it.
Let's do a show in Vegas and go back to Broadway and party your fucking asses off. And I have to credit her for that resilience because not everybody has that.
And you know what? She's right. It is time for her to have some fun.
After all that, the misery and the boredom and the lack of joy that was in St. Lucia or before that, when they went off to, I don't know, London or, you know, all these international trips.
Oh, what a drain time to have fun, right? All her, all her day-to-day, all her day-to-day activities, having to go to her not nine to not five job. When is she finally going to be able to have fun? I know.
That's just what Erica means. Just a relaxing, fun life.
So Kyle goes, yeah, you know what I mean? You know what? The world is our oyster, Kyle, really? Now you're just leaving yourself open. And then Erica goes, the world is literally our oyster.
No, the world is literally not an oyster. It's figuratively an oyster it's figuratively an oyster i'm just gonna say that right now don't don't emphasize that it's literally an oyster because it's disgusting we all have hepatitis now i love that i'll just left us with the most lesbian imagery of all time to end this season but don't talk about lesbianism please the world is our clam bake so the world is a pink taco wow the world is a george o'keefe painting all the world's a stage at lilith fair all right everybody we sure love you thanks for being with us this season we'll be here for the next month doing the festivus of Festivus Festivus, Festivus reunion

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