#2776 RHOBH S1417 Part One: Bird Brained Carnies

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One of the reasons we love watching Bravo shows is for the luxury. I mean, come on, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Most of the time I can just watch it for the shots of the gorgeous city and the houses. And let's not forget Lisa Barlow's $60,000 ring that she lost.
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There's so much that crap ends. Season finale, Beverly Hills.
Very exciting times. It really is, you guys.
A lot of Beverly Hills stuff to talk about today.

We are on tour.

We're in the thick of it right now.

The Mountain Hysteria Tour.

This weekend, we are going to be in Washington, D.C.

Whoa.

And then followed by that, we're going to be at the Philadelphia Fillmore.

Okay?

In Philadelphia.

And in Washington, we're going to be doing Southern Charm. No house yes and then washington washington and southern charm washington and southern charm and then in philadelphia we're doing summer house okay you know what in the following week we're going to be other places we're going to be in boston detroit chicago chicago sold out sorry okay you know what you should have got your tickets earlier because it's sold out.
But then after, we're going to go to Emo's in Austin and the Dallas-Texas Theater in Dallas and Las Vegas, which is going to be super, super fun. So get your tickets over at Wadden.
I didn't realize we're going to the Dallas Theater or the Texas Theater because, you know, I love to trumpet this stat that when Watcher Crapins went to the Texas Theater in Dallas back in, I don't know, 2019 or so, we broke the record for the most cocktail served in one night at that theater. And it's the same theater where What's-His-Face was arrested, the guy who assassinated JFK.
So there's two notches of history in that theater. One is that they arrested the assassin of JFK there.
And two is that Watch What Crap Ends sold most drinks ever in one night there. So come be part of history again.
Big history. Let's repeat history.
Come buy a lot of alcohol, but let's not find any murderers. Hopefully.
No murderers welcome. Yeah.
So that should be super fun. Also, we're doing White Lotus recaps over on Patreon.
We did a catch-up just for the past six episodes, but then we're going to do recaps for episodes seven and eight. So join Patreon for that.
It's also where you get video recaps like this one. Hi, we're on video.
You might see me throwing my throat directly to the camera to show off my beautiful strep throat, which I've proudly received, probably from hugging one of you fuckers at these meet and greets. I can't look at the recording today with strep throat.
That's wild. I actually get it.
Dedications to craft. I'm surprised it doesn't hurt more to talk because it hurts like F to swallow.
Oh, my God. Knives.
Knives. Knives, I've swallowed knives.
Yeah, I really do think you should get some Tylenol, because that will help. I am very impressed with your resilience right now.
Well, you know what is helping? Ice cream. Good old-fashioned Creamy Creations by HEB.
But, you know, that's going to help. I'm going to end up maybe feeling a little bit better for five minutes, but with a bigger muffin top.
But guess what? Worth it. Worth it.
Worth every calorie. Creamy creations.
Okay, so let's get to it. We are on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale.
Wow. Erica and...
Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
I'm about to say, I have people that are angry at me speaking in beverly hills i don't believe it yes it's you never have people it's true you i don't believe it yeah no it happens it happens sure they just didn't get us confused well apparently i have the reputation for being the quote-unquote sweet one the nice one which is hilarious um but uh no yesterday, I didn't even realize that this was season finale, because last week ended with a to be continued, and there was no next week on the season finale, and I didn't see any promo over the course of the week saying anything until yesterday late afternoon. There was an article about Jennifer Tilly in the New York Times that said that the season finale was tonight, and I was like, surely they're mistaken.
Anyway, the point is this. Bravo posted the reunion trailer on their account, on their Instagram account, like shortly after that.
And so I was watching the reunion trailer, which was very good. And there's one part in it where Dorit is like, she thinks she's the queen of Sheba.
She lives on a main road. And I thought that was so funny.
Just be like, she lives on a main road. Like how horrifying, how embarrassing.
And of course, coming from Dorit of all people who like went to like the Dollar Tree with a $30,000 and got robbed. And is literally about to be living on a main road, like on the sidewalk of it, ma'am.
Yes. But to me, it was like, it it was so i literally let out such a laugh because it's such a funny thing to say so i wrote a comment on the bravo instagram and i i said something to the effect of in fact i have it right here i said is you live on a main road the new high body count here meaning like a like a like a wild thing that a real housewife would say that's like a new desk.
People did not like that. Really? Because they thought that I was, well, first of all, no, a lot of people did like it.
It got 669 likes. So you know what? It was a good comment.
It was well-received by and large. But a lot of people interpreted that as me being Team Dorit over Team Sutton, I believe.
I think they thought I was like, good burn, Dorit. And so people are like, but Sutton's house didn't get broken into.
Or they would say things like, not even close. Or like, no, you're stupid.
How could you even be saying that? It was supposed to be more like, supposed to land more like the wallet comment. And they're like criticizing me for even finding humor in this moment to which I say, people, if you don't find that main road joke funny, main road comment funny, you have to really reconsider because it was hilarious.
And I'm going to say that right now. Reconsider being a Housewives fan.
You know,'s not it doesn't need to be that serious you guys calm you don't have to be on their team like it was hilarious it was a hilarious obnoxious comment so i just loved how many people um were were mad at me about to rigor yeah i was reading facebook comments today just for fun uh just general facebook comments and god people on Facebook are way meaner than they are on other places. I mean, and it's weird because like on Reddit, everyone's team Garcelle, which, you know, kind of aligns with me more basically.
And then you go to Facebook and I'm like, damn, people are so hateful. Oh my God.
What happened? What happened to facebook That used to be a fun place in life. Yeah.
I think, like, so, you know, Garcelle left Beverly Hills. She announced it yesterday.
And the thing is that I think that, like, everywhere I've seen, people have been, like, largely very supportive of her. There's, like, on Twitter, a lot of people are like, what is Sutton going to do without Garcelle now? And everyone's like, Garcelle should have left anyway.
So, I feel like there's actually been, I've seen a very large groundswell, but I'm not surprised that there are people who are being obnoxious about her leaving. Well, no one has been more obnoxious than Erica on Watch What Happens Live.
And I have to say, Bose too. Bose didn't have a great performance on that one either.
And I've really enjoyed Bo's, but I was turning on her pretty quickly last night because Andy had them both on and said, so Garcelle announced she's leaving. Any reactions? And they both just sat up straight and looked straight ahead and wouldn't speak.
And then the audience kind of laughed uncomfortably. And he said, no reactions? And they just stood straight ahead and he said come on seriously you're not going to say anything and boz was like well i um hope that she would have stuck it out and erica said something something like he does i can't quote it right i forgot the quote but it was something like he he does do it or something like that and i went went on a Reddit thread to see what the fuck she said, because it was hard to understand.
And basically, people were saying, like, God listens to your prayers or something. And I was like, oh, okay, Erica.
God forbid someone ask you about your fucking scammy-ass life with Tom Girardi. And then she said, yeah, well, Garcelle had been on Watch What Happens a couple weeks ago and said that she married for love and Erica married for money.
And that was the difference in their marriage. So that was like her shade.
And so Andy asked her about that. And Erica said, well, we both married.
We both married two old, ugly white guys who cheated on us. And that was like her big diss.
I'm sorry, but you are the only one who married an old, ugly white guy. Compare the pictures, ma'am.
Compare the pictures to her ex and your ex, okay? And also, maybe compare the fact that her ex hasn't robbed poor people to fund your stupid, shitty, talentless career. You asshole, Erika Jayne.
And and i had to remind myself kind of like you were

just talking about like you don't need to be this angry so i just turned off watch watch what

happens it's like fuck that chick man she is she is vile she's still vile she i just thought what a cold cookie you know i said i even i was so angry i came up with a pop-up quote i was like that is one cold character.

Well, Twitter has been coming for Erica a lot

because... papa quote i was like that is one cold character well um uh twitter has been uh coming for erica a lot because you know in the uh in the trailer for the reunion there's like something i don't remember the exact quote but there's something like erica says something to garcelle along the lines of like you're boring or you don't have like there's you're not interesting or something i wish you had been more interesting she said yeah I wish you'd been more interesting and like spoken for the freezer section like who are you talking yeah people online keep on saying people online keep on saying like Erica your storyline the season was wallpaper and literally that has been like it's people just like if you look up Erica and wallpaper there are so many tweets about just dragging her wallpaper.
Like, really? Your storyline is wallpaper. Yeah, and that was one of the questions on Watch What Happens.
He said, you know, Sarah from Q's wants to know, how could you call someone boring? You don't share your life or who you're dating. And Erica's like, share my life? I got divorced on this show.
I went through my worst period on this show. Erica, you didn't share shit about that.
All you did was you came on and you lied about it. And then you tried to give Tom an alibi.
And then you tried to give Tom a defense by amnesia, dyslexia. What am I going for? Dementia.
You tried to get Tom off the hook millions of times. Then you said, fuck those poor people.
I don't care about them. I only care about myself.
You haven't shared shit except stolen money on this show, ma'am. And I hope Marco Marco continue to ground your ass until there is none left.
You don't deserve shit, Erica. You are a piece of shit, woman.
You're a nasty, nasty character. The tweets are really funny.
I mean, one person named Carbonite says,

Erica, wallpaper and lines added to your rental.

That's interesting.

Okay, girl.

Someone else says,

so glad Erica is telling everyone Garcelle didn't give us anything

while she showed us a wallpaper in her rental casita.

Yeah, and then another one of her lines is like,

you're going to have to do more than buy a beach house in bakersfield you know and everyone was like oh well you know better than living in a rental that rush limbaugh lookalike tom girardi's friend got you erica it's just so funny that like wallpaper has become the thing that has like that has that has become the symbol of erica's storyline because she did a lot of things to that casita but it's like like at the end of the day though like wallpaper somehow like just is the concept that somehow summarizes everything that happened in her season which is that she put up a big old thing to cover up something else that was it that's basically an allegory for her entire time on this show but by the way i thought erica had a great season i thought she had i thought she was actually like you know i enjoyed her this season and she's you know she's villainous yes but i think that um i think that she is good however it really where i get annoyed with erica is are are these moments when she accuses someone of being boring and not sharing when she really has never truly shared. She's been the brunt of accusations, but she hasn't shared.
We still have yet to meet an actual friend of hers outside of this group. We don't know really what life is like for her other than like stepping into this, this alternate persona that goes at gay clubs.
Yeah. Anything, you know? And I think that Garcelle has actually shared quite a bit.
And, you know, I think we should have seen the writing was on the wall with Garcelle because she is having some success with her movies and she's being way shad way shadier in her confessionals than ever before. And she always kind of towed that line, but she goes there a bit more, especially in tonight's episode.
She's just like, you can tell, she's like, I don't fucking care about these people anymore. I'm just going to be shady now.
You know, to be fair, and I'm sure we'll get to it a million times as the season progresses, and especially the reunion, but Garcelle did say stuff that you're going to have to answer for. I mean, she was saying stuff in her diary room about Dorit faking the robbery, about PK faking the robbery, and all of that stuff.
So, I mean, of course, you're going to have to answer for it. People are going to get pissed, and you're going to have to answer for it.
But I just think it's Erica, of all people, such a fucking hypocrite. Yeah.
Now, iscelle's personal life on sharing? Because Erica got in trouble for fucking yelling at her son, which you should have in the first place and sending all those bots after her with Rena and Diana or Diana. I mean, come on now.
I mean, as Garcelle's personal storylines, are they, are they boring? Yes, they are. We know you've've listened to these recaps.
But Garcelle is great.

And she's the only one who says the things that we are thinking.

Sutton sort of goes there, but she usually hedges.

But Garcelle says them, and she confronts in a way that no one else does on the show.

And so she won't be missed, for sure.

I agree that her storylines aren't that fascinating. We make fun of like, oh, wow, did you buy a beach house? Because for the first six episodes, it was like, I'm so proud that I bought a beach house.
You know, like, we've made those comments too. But to say that that makes her boring is silly.
I mean, she calls your ass out, and that's certainly not boring. Without her and Sutton, nobody would have ever called your asses out.
So, you know think everyone needs to have a compelling story happening on the side. I remember when Rinna's first season, I loved Rinna her first season and people would say, but she's got nothing going on.
That's why she has to go and ask questions about the Richard sisters. She's got nothing going on.
I'm I don't need you to, I don't need to focus on the boring side of your life just because it's to show that you have something else going on outside the show. I care more about how you, how you mix it up with the women and how you interact with the women.
And then if there's something interesting going on in your personal life, then great, show it. But like, you know, I don't necessarily need to sit and watch scenes of people making tomato sauce or renovating a home in Oxnard.
Yeah. So I'm okay with it.
But the point is I'm okay with Garcelle having a boring storyline as long as she's like good with the women. Yeah.
She brings it in the scenes. So, okay.
Well, that's that. That's a nice referendum.
But here we are with episode season 14, episode 17, a Caribbean sendoff. So we're in St.
Lucia. We're still still on the boat ride from hell Sutton is standing there with her Sutton hat screaming out a window what sea words all these ladies are and now she's sitting there waiting for somebody to comfort her and Jennifer Tilly comes over with a glass of water she's like here sweetie here's the water I'm not going to be able to do anything today.
I'm useless today. I'm sorry.
It's okay. So Sutton is still just like going through it.
And then meanwhile, Erica goes swimming. She's like, I'm the only one.
Okay, the only water in the world that I get into, I don't even go in the Mediterranean, okay? Is this water, Caribbean water, Caribbean. I don't do Atlantic.
I don don't do Pacific. I only do Caribbean.
I'm like, well, thank you for your Yelp review on Seas of the World. Oceans and Seas of the World.
Erica just here to remind us that she's been to every sea in the world, you know, on poor people's backs. So, she's like, well, the Pacific, you know, that was at home.
I don't go to the Atlantic. We got a few trips in there off a few burn victims.
You know, I've been to the Caribbean a few times. It's the warmest water, and that came from royalties off a gas explosion.
So it's been a great trip around the world. So she is swimming in the water, and Boz and Garcelle are talking.
And Garcelle's like, well, she looks beautiful, but who's going in if somebody pulls her under, you know? Yeah. And then Erica's just still paddling along.
You guys are lame. I'm the only one out here.
So Garcelle is like, well, Sutton hates her now. And Bo's like, well, yes, Sutton hates everybody now.
And then they just kind of like laugh. And we go back to Sutton, who's like, it's like Satan came on the boat and said, this is why you're in hell.
Let me just remind you. Well, thank you, Satan, because I've forgotten.
I forgot she said that and reading it back, it's so perfectly sudden and overdramatic. I love her.
So Kyle is now swimming with her and Dorit's standing on the little

boat dock doing that like,

I'm just a goyle. How am I supposed to

be expected to swim? It's

terrifying. I'm a goyle.

But she does. She does

a very poor dive into the

water. And then

Kyle's like, oh my god, I'm not

even gonna buy you a Birkin if you get in.

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If you're looking for a way to streamline your streaming, Prime Video has got you covered. On Prime Video, you can actually add over 100 subscriptions like Max, Apple TV Plus, and Paramount Plus all in one app.
It's so much easier to just turn on Amazon Prime now and get all of my subscriptions right in one little hub. It's amazing.
I'm watching Severance right now on Apple, and I'm also watching white lotus on max and boom i can watch them in the same app right now it makes it so much easier to not forget what i'm watching and what app i need to open check out subscriptions on prime video so um uh so now jennifer and son are talking and jennifer, do you know what? It's kind of like when you're on a fox hunt and the dogs find the fox and then they're all surrounding the fox and then yup, yup, yup, yup, and the fox is like, oh my God, there's too many of you. And Sutton's like, well, that's how they fire a bunch of foxes on a hunt from Satan, Satan foxes.
And Jennifer's like, well, I'm not surprised that Erica is, like, criticizing Satan. And then we see flashbacks of that.
And Jennifer's like, I can see both sides, but, you know, obviously I'm Satan's friend, and so I'm going to have Satan's back, and I'm not going to be like, Eric is right, but you need to examine your own behavior,

little missy, because I'm on her side.

Yeah, you know, I'm really kind

of astonished at how much

girls don't like you, Sutton.

Thanks a lot,

Jennifer. Make me feel a lot better.

A lot better.

So, meanwhile, back to

Boz and Garcelle, Boz is like, how are we supposed to be a group If you have two people that are on ice How does that actually work? And Garcelle is like, well, let's see, am I right? She's like, girl She's like, well, let's just see what that looks like I'll just say it again, so that way you can take the next line She's like, well, is that the chairman's reserve talking? Yes, it is Well, hold on, let me give some response to this Pfff. Bl back and the boat comes back and everything and they get all they get off and everything and and now they're gonna go back to the uh they're gonna go back to the hotel and now it's time for a glam montage where they're all sitting in their chairs, and Kathy is, she's setting up her own station and doing her whole, like, everything to her face, and it's very exciting for all of them.
Kathy's iconic moment today, just from a breathless gay point of view, Kathy eats Cheetos. Oh my God, tell your friends about it.
They're like, up on those Cheetos. We need America to know that Kathy eats Cheetos.
So she's just walking around eating her Cheetos. Yes.
So Bose is like, well, tonight I'm going for a super celebration, Nico. And Nico's like, mm-hmm.
Because we are going to do a birthday dinner for Erica and Dorit. Nico, are you bedazzling the wall? No.
Well, then do it, because I want everything bedazzled in here. So she's basically like, Bo's just like, well, morale is low after earlier today.
And she's like, I just want to make things fun. And so they're going to go to the beach, because there's a whole bunch of vendors there.
There's jewelry. There's food.
There's a still drum band. So it's going to be like a whole big fun bizarre.
One of my favorite things about this episode is they keep saying things like, well, it was a rough day. And then it just keeps cutting back to Sutton going, what do you fucking want from me? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Sutton losing it.
So yeah, they're going to go basically street shopping. So she's like, I want to reflect the energy of St.
Lucia. So then we go to get Sutton's hair done.
And she's with Jennifer. And she's like, well, do you think you're going to be able to have a good time tonight? And she's like, well, as long as I can stay away from those two, those two people, I think I'm a terrible person, which I'm not.
I'll be fine. I just wanted to restate that I'm not a terrible person.
Sutton, you are so immature. It's painful to watch Sutton.
I love it. I love when Sutton's unhinged because there's nobody in their right mind who can stick up for Sutton, you know? And that's why you gotta love Sutton.
She's just so helplessly awful. Yeah, I mean, like, I am, I love Sutton.
And I'm, I'm actually, I'm fully on her side. But I also think it's hilarious that she has no sense of accountability of, like, her contributions to this entire situation.
Because the truth is, she did, like, she was part of this. She did start up a fight with Zareed in the beginning of the season, right after she made whole thing about sisterhood and she did call zareed a bitch in her home and she like she she is part of this as well but i just but like at the end of the day she's just funnier when she's mad so i'm just gonna take her side because i think she's just so immature and you know it's like when there's a baby on the plane you know nobody wants a baby on the plane and then inevitably the baby starts crying and And you see people turn around and give a dirty look to the baby.
And you're like, God, I want that to be me. I want to turn around and give a dirty look to the baby.
But ultimately, you have to blame the mom. So, I say, let's just bring Reba to the reunion and let's excoriate her.
This is a case where I just find sutton to be a cat eyed evil little baby you know where she just hasn't matured to the point where i can blame her yet yeah i i i love to blame the mom although sometimes it's it's also fair like at some point the kid gets a little bit of some of it because when we were flying to toronto uh two weeks ago there was like this awful child in front of you who you didn't really get to You didn't really see how awful the child was because they were right in front of you. But because I was across the aisle, I had a diagonal view.
And this kid was probably three years old and incessantly kicking the seat in front of her. And she was pulling down the tray, up and down, up and down.
And she was being loud. She was screaming.
She was making so much noise. And the mom eventually handled it.
But she couldn't it because there were there were logistical reasons why the mom couldn't handle it but the mom was also just not saying anything or doing anything and this kid was being wild at one point the kid was also like every time she did something wild she would smile like look at me and at one point she smiled and she looked back at me and i gave this child the meanest death stare and of course i was wearing a mask so it was like a death stare across of a mask and she like was smiling at me and I gave this child the meanest death stare. And I, of course I was wearing a mask.
So

it was like a death stare across of a mask. And she like was smiling at me and she like locked eyes with me.
And then she was like smiling. And then she realized I was like staring at her with like rage and her smile just kind of like, just sort of drooped down.
And I was like, in my mind, I was like, yeah, you don't look, you get, you, you stop kicking that seat. And it was like, It felt great.

It felt great to be like,

I am going to shame this child on some level for kicking that seat so much name him name i was giving her full-on sun energy i was like what you have done to me young child i am gonna squint at you i am gonna squint i'm not gonna say anything I'm just going to squint. But at about 50 years and $300 million,

you would have been like, oh my God, you are

iconic. You'd have been filming her on

TikTok. Yes.

She's just too young to act like this. She hasn't earned

her bad behavior.

You haven't earned this

yet, ma'am.

Yeah, exactly. You're just a three-year-old.

So,

Erica is like, oh my God. You know, in the sense of sisterhood, I thought we could bring everything to the table, so I said what I had to say on the boat.
But, you know, I don't have any ill wills all of a sudden. I'd like for Sutton to acknowledge what's going on.
And that's it. Okay, Erica, you want an apology.
You're not going to get a fucking apology. Your news story was everywhere.
They had to bring it up. Nobody else had the guts to bring it up.
And she brought it up, period. That's the end.
And guess what? You handled it terribly, and you look like a fucking asshole. And the only reason you've had a good season this year is because you shut your mouth, and now you're ruining it all at the end.
No one feels for you, Erica, okay? Nobody. Well, and also don't forget that they set Sutton up to be the sacrificial lamb, they all talked about it behind erica's back to reed and kyle everyone and sutton was the one who asked the questions and they all just stood back there like oh my god that's crazy and so sudden took the brunt of it and sudden was not really the best like person because she didn't really ask the questions with conviction she just was trying to be nice about it so then erica of course saw sense weakness and then and then attacked.
But the truth is that Erica, for as much as she talks about being open and honest and discussing it all, she certainly did not like it when people were asking her questions about something that was happening that was very much in her life and needed to be addressed. And yeah, it was just all bullshit.
And the other ones did ask her. I mean, Dorit and Kyle did get their licks in there, but Erica doesn't go to that because they still are part of that final the final five the fox force five or whatever you know so that's they're still writing that so uh jennifer tilly's like well it almost seemed very rehearsed because erica was like that like a lawyer in the court that all of their points prepped out i think there's's an alliance between some of the ladies.
And when Erica and Dorico after one person, and they dovetail together, I think they planned it. And so now Erica is, we see a flashback of their confrontation.
And so Jennifer's like, it just seems like they had discussed it beforehand. Like it's kind of like a little suspect.
So then... By the way, they did discussed it beforehand.
Like, it's kind of like a little suspect. So then, um...
By the way, they did discuss it beforehand. We saw it on the show.
So, they don't like to call it, we planned it. Like, they didn't say, okay, you say this, and then I'm gonna say this.
But they did sit down, and they were like, fuck that chick. She can do whatever she wants.
Why should... I mean, they talked about it, and then they went and did it.
So, I don't understand what the big accusation is that's so offensive to erica later on in the episode you know now to be fair we also saw sutton and garcelle literally plan a confrontation about morgan wade so you know like i'm not gonna say what goes around comes around but it's not like Sutton is so innocent on this front either. Of course, their confrontation failed because Sutton didn't do her part of the confrontation.
But I think in both situations, it's natural to talk to your friends about who you're pissed off about. And then, yes.
And say, you know what? Back me up. Do this.
I mean, so much of the show is like, back me up. And I say this little son's whole gripe is that she wants that back up so um yeah so either way they think that that there's a coordinated attack and everything meanwhile kathy has announced that she's gonna wear a shorts and t-shirt to the beach thing tonight which is hilarious because ultimately they all go out to this beach wearing these big beautiful flowy dresses and kathy's just like green t-shirt and shorts and a little hat which is like that's the sign of true wealth right there she's like uh i don't i don't even have to bother i don't have to flaunt anything i know my wealth i'm just wear a t-shirt a free t-shirt probably yeah so garcelle goes to satin and she's like hi i just i hope you're feeling better i just wanted to mention i don't know if you noticed but kyle didn't stand up for you today wow wow what do you think of that and she's like well you know we had a really good weekend in augusta you remember she ate a carb she ate a carb for me in that restaurant she didn't have to do that i thought we were going to be best friends forever you know so to be so set back with kyle i've just i've had enough i've never had anyone come to me and say i would really like to apologize to you you.
I was tough on you. Never.
They want to break me. They've been wanting to break me for years.
Let the mouse go. And then we have this amazing montage of them just yelling at Sutton, scolding her and yelling her.
And then when it's not like just like the typical one, two, three beat, it was like a a long endless montage that turned into a mosaic on the screen and it went on for it had to be like 10 minutes it was just going and going i was like shut up son you be quiet you don't know what you're talking about son why would you that you're being such a fucking bitch and she's like oh in was fantastic. Be quiet, Miss Smalltown.
I'm worried about my motherfucking reputation. You shut up.
And then Erica gets into her diction, you know? Yeah. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Now you shut up. Yeah.
Yeah, you talk out of both sides of your mouth, too. You know what? Fuck you.
And also, how are you? you fuck you how are you um so they are we just see it goes on for so long that like as i scroll through the flashbacks it's taking like you know as long to scroll through them as it does to actually you know watch it so then sudden's like i just don't want to do it anymore you know i just can't do this so garcelle's like well i'm not saying sudden is innocent i mean has sudden put her foot in her mouth with this group absolutely and then they kind of like go all the way back and they're like by the way here's the greater context for all those clips we see sudden being horrible in each situation right beforehand yeah which is awesome it's very rachel, it's very good. So then Garcelle's like, you know, but when she's angry, she feels like she's being cornered.
And I just needed another montage of Sutton literally in the corner. Being like, name up, name up, name up, name up, name up, name up, name up, name up, name up.
So Jennifer comes in to talk to Garcelle and she's like, what happened? I saw Sutton running into the bedroom. And she's like, oh, we just talked about the boat, you know, and how Kyle's not supporting her.
Like, she supports Kyle. I mean, I don't know where that came up.
Maybe one of the makeup people said it. I don't remember.
Oh, hold on. Do you have...
Just let me leave a voice message for Sutton really quick. Hi, Sutton.
I just wanted to send you my support while you're getting your makeup on. And just wanted to note that Kyle's not supporting you right now as you get your makeup done.
Thank you. Hi, Sutton.
This is Garcelle. I have a message for you.
You need to just trust this process and just fall backwards, fall backwards into a trust fall. Okay, I heard you just crashed onto the floor.
Notice that Kyle was not there to have your back. So, Garcelle is like, you know, Jennifer is saying, Well, it seems like Sutton just really wants Kyle to like her.
And she's like, duh. So, then Garcelle is saying, you know, she'd rather be loyal to Erica and Dorit before she is to Sutton, but Sutton refuses to see that Kyle is this way.
And Jennifer's like, it's like a bad relationship or a bad marriage. You think that they've accepted the apology and you've moved on and you're in a different place and then to have it all thrown back in your face and not even get a piece of a cartoon empire, it's just very hurtful.

Yeah, and I think that's one thing that is definitely fucking with Sutton is the fact that she will have a hysterical outburst.

Because when she's cornered, she lashes out.

And then she thinks that she has mended things and everything's okay.

And then it turns out nothing is mended and they attack her again.

And that is frustrating. Although maybe work on the outburst too.
Again, this comes from a place of love because I love Sutton. She's my favorite on the show.
But she could work on those outbursts. Although don't work on them because then you're not going to be as good on the show.
Yeah, Sutton's just ridiculous. It's her reaction to everything that's a problem.
I mean, Sutton could handle these people so easily if she was just like, you know, look how Jennifer Tilly handles it later. She just handles Erica fine.
And Erica was thinking she's having like a big dynasty moment. Like, now, who said it? You or you? She's like, sorry if it hurt your feelings, but unfortunately I'm carrying the weight of all these $100,000 bags right now and I don't have time to worry about it poor person i'll donate to planned parenthood or something later any charity that you would like yeah um i mean the problem i think the issue for sudden is that at the core of it it's it's that kyle is kind of the queen bee of the cool girls in her mind you know like the fox xforce five they are a click and and it's not that kyle is more famous because because garcelle is more famous than kyle and then it's like it's not that like kyle is so rich because um jennifer is is wealthier it's just that like they have this click on the show and i think that sudden carries some damage from like high school or middle school where she wasn't in with like the popular group.
And she just wants to be accepted with it. And she feels like I'm doing all the things I'm wealthy.
I'm cute. I'm fun.
Like I'm, I'm being, I'm bringing them nice things. Like why can't I ever be truly part of this group? And that's all she wants is to be part of a group because I think it ties back to some sort of high school issue.
And that's like a void that is just not going to be fulfilled. And the thing is, what she doesn't realize is that for the past few years, Sutton has been actually in the center of the group that we, the audience has found to be the cooler one.
You know, when it was Gar sutton and crystal and then this year it's garcelle sutton and jennifer tilly like that is the group that we as the audience love and would want to hang out with more um and she doesn't realize that she actually has it all but i think her own damage is well maybe a portion of the audience but you know then you look at her adult life and she was she became rich you know because, because she was married really rich. Not saying she didn't deserve that, but it's like her husband is incredibly rich.
So she had access to all these things where she was basically going to like the Elton John, you know, Oscar party every year and then giving tickets to people like Lisa Rinna to try and kind of buy their friendship and be a part of the cool group. And then finally she did it enough where she renna suggested her as someone to be on the show so then finally she got into this show and she was always kind of looked at the joke on this show by all the people it's like you're wealthy but you're not like no one's going to pretend you're a cool girl you know what i mean and so she never really she's just never gotten it and how much money does a woman have to pay to be considered a cool girl but it's not you know at the end of the day you still have to be a likable person and she breaks down at every given opportunity and acts like a child so i don't know one thing i really like about sudden is that she does it all to herself and as someone who creates my own problems like generally i'm my own worst enemy in life every problem i've ever had has been my fault pretty much it's not that I've never been victimized, but maybe I could have handled things better to where I could have lessened the damage.
I'll give myself that. But for the most part, I create all of my own problems.
And it's a lot to do with attitude and emotion, over-emotionally taking things. So I see where Sutton's coming from.
So I still kind of root for her, even though, god damn, she makes it hard sometimes. No, but that's what also makes her totally relatable.
Because so many of us do that. And so many of us have emotional moments.
And to see her not be able to control her emotions on this show has always been the most appealing part. Not because it's funny to laugh at her because she embarrasses herself.
But because it's like she's very real. I think that she can't control herself.
whereas the the other women, you sort of, you know, like you do feel like there is a wall up with Kyle and Erica and Dorit to a certain extent. I mean, they do let it out.
They let their wall down. They are emotional, but it's not the same degree.
And that's why a sudden is so appealing. And that's why, honestly, someone like Bethany Frankel for as annoying and awful as she's become, she will always be compelling to be because she can't help but be herself.
Like she can't, she can't put on airs because she's always going to be a gaping wound. And so Sutton is so relatable in that sense.
And, and she'll never be one of the cool girls because, because she is, she does not have that. She doesn't have that vibe, right? Like she is too fragile.
She was like, at best, she's going to be like the sidekick to the cool girls.

But she'll never be in that rarefied air.

And she wants it so badly.

So, so badly.

Yeah.

Oh, well.

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So, the lady is gathered now in Boza's villa, but of course Sutton's not there because she's being a D. She's like, I need time.
I need time. I need time to think about how I've been shunned and excoriated by this group of women.
Please, just give me time. And so Bose is like, well, there's something the matter? Where is she? And Jennifer's like, well, there's a glitch in the Matrix.
Actually, kind of the perfect way to summarize, like, sudden having a pre-dinner breakdown. It's like, a glitch and keanu reeves was there and sat and said keanu do you want to have lunch and he said no you're not cool enough very very upset fun fact i was in a feature film that was directed by the directors of the matrix so what what have you guys been doing lately? Um, so Sutton, they're just like saying that she's upset and Erica's like, so Sutton is not there because her feelings got hurt.
All I did was ask the question, you know, remember that? How you guys just used to ask me questions, Erica, this, um, this grudge tour that you've been on this season is getting real old real quickly i mean i'm allowed to keep a grudge like i love keeping a grudge on uh like i will hold a grudge for years and years on this podcast but um but if you're on a reality show you gotta the grudges have to move you gotta move on move on well especially when the questions she's referring to were about tom moving all of his 20 million dollars into Erica's LLC for her stupid, pointless career when she can't even sing on key. You know what I mean? And she's like, but are you blindsided? And why is the paper saying that $20 million went into your LLC? Have you had any discussions with attorneys about the story? And this is what Erica's so worried about.
Sorry, you're mad at the wrong person, lady. Be mad at Tom.
I can't believe you. Be mad at yourself for spending all that money.

I honestly, like, I'm a little offended, Ronnie, that you would say that Erica can't even sing.

Because last time I checked, she sounded pretty good during her warm-ups.

I saw a clip of her doing Chicago because she's back in Chicagoago now her dancing and her movement and her look is so good she looks great doing the you know but then this is her voice like no you can't do that i'm sorry but no I mean, if she can get a career just doing hand movement, like Fosse hand movement, she's got it. She killed it.
She looks great. But please be quiet.
I honestly, you know, I make a joke about this a lot, about how Erica has been doing the same shtick as a musician for 10 years on this show. And no recording artist, no pop artist or anyone in the lane that she's trying to be in, no one does that.
People switch it up, they change it up, they change up their vibe, they change up their style, they change up their look. And she's committed to this one thing and is like, no, it's going i'm just like why doesn't she do something why doesn't she do like a burlesque tour i think she would kill it with burlesque just based off you know what you were saying she looks amazing she feels very burlesque adjacent she should do like the whole like what dita von tis was doing you know go and just do that like lean into your strengths like the the still trying still trying to do this whole Erica Jane thing.
I mean, yeah, she's getting success from it because she's on this show, but like, it just feels like she's just so resistant to lean into, to, to what she's strongest at. Erica Jane is just one of those people who saw Angeline driving around in her pink, you know, Mustang or whatever.
It's a convertible, right? Is it a Corvettevette? What does she drive around? Corvette, yeah. Yeah, her pink Corvette driving around West Hollywood, opening her trunk and selling t-shirts to the gays, and having her rich husband pay for billboards around town that say Angeline.
Erica's the only person who saw that and went, that, that's a career that I want. That's what I i want to do and she's still doing it to this very day so we get back to the scene and erica's like sorry for asking questions and jennifer tilly says well she felt like everyone was attacking her you know erica started saying about the problems that the group has with her and then you know you jumped in quite quite a little bit, Dorit, and it just seemed like maybe it was a coordinated effort, so.
Oh, oh, so we planned that? This is insulting. I observed something.
I said it. Bottom line, to her face.
And now the fact, well, I said it to her face after I said it to a lot of people beforehand. But then, now the fact that your friend is upstairs stomping her feet and won't come to dinner and no one coordinated this oh i don't i don't i don't need to rally the troops i know what happened to me and i know what happened to kyle and i know what happened to reed and it's not a coordinate attack it's my fucking opinion she seems way more invested in getting to the bottom of this stupidity than she does uh in terms of the situation with situation with her husband and the fraud and the victims.
Yeah. The only part she's offended at is the coordinated part.
She's like, calling me coordinated? Have you seen me rehearse? Well, you're the one that said it also seemed like Dorit said the exact same thing at the same time. And she's like, Dorit, can you get in here, please? She's like, I'm coming.
Sudden thinks that what I said today, that when you said today, and what you said today, that that was a coordinated attack. Coordinated attack? Yes, it's almost like you knew exactly what I was going to say.
Like I knew exactly what you were going to say. It's almost like we had written the things down, and I said part A, and you said...

Part B!

How dare she?

How dare she accuse us of being coordinated?

How dare she?

Well, first of all, I don't want to fight

Sutton's battles for her. She's my friend,

so I feel for her. I just think

that she's spiraling right now, because

she felt ganged up on. So, then we see Sutton, spiraling right now because she felt ganged up on.
So then we see Sutton spiraling because she got ganged up on in her makeup chair. And she's like, I have been ganged up on.
And her hairstylist is like, I know, I know, I know Sutton. She's like, okay, I've been beat up enough today.
Okay. She's like twitching.
So then we go back to Bose, and Garcelle steps up to defend Sutton. Now she goes, well, you know, she just feels like she's been picked on ever since she joined this group.
And Erica's like, oh, yeah, well, she's given it as good as she's gotten it. Well, you know, Sutton can dish it, but she cannot take it.
Heaven forbid you put a mirror in front of her face and she either becomes an immediate victim or becomes borderline evil. You know what? Gee, it's fucking nauseating.
I agree with her to a point. I mean, Sutton can't take it, but neither can you, Dorit.
You're fine with calling her an alcoholic and you're fine with mocking her relentlessly, but the second she says you're a bitch, you act like, oh my god, like you haven't been calling people the C word all season. You act like, oh, my God, when am I going to get my fifth apology for this? So come on.
Well, and think of all the times that Garcelle was trying to get through to Dorit last season and the season before about things that Dorit said that were maybe problematic or like that offended Garcelle. And Dorit would be like, I'm allowed to defend myself.
I don't know why you're coming at me like this. Everyone says the word attack.

I mean, I didn't talk about that.

And so, like, you know.

How dare you say I don't know how to treat minorities.

They raise me children.

I pay them very well.

My mother has a friend who is not white.

So, uh.

I've given a minority a stick with a cloth at the end to dip into a bucket and drip all over me kitchen floor now that's not love so um garceau's like well i'm not saying she's a wallflower i'm not saying she's innocent i've never said she was innocent but you also expect her to be perfect and she's like well nobody expects anyone to be perfect well she just by the way kyle she wants some blind loyalty from you. And Kyle's like, um, Kyle thought she was on easy street.
She had nothing to do with this argument. And she just suddenly got dragged in out of nowhere.
And she's like, um, this is like so crazy. Cause it was like Erica's argument.
And like, now it's my fault. Hello.
I had three lines on ER once. I don't know how I could be at fault here.
Yeah. It's like, fuck that.
She goescelle and sudden are both her closest friends and they just stick up for her so i mean what do you want what do you want you guys are so close and you stay quiet but it's on me come on it's a joke let's let's go to dinner i'm done with this shit wow so she storms off yeah i like because garcelle's reasoning is like i didn't stand up for her because i was already in an argument with her. But you guys are in a fresh argument with her.
So you guys have to deal with your fresh argument before we get to my argument with her. So that's it.

And then Erica is like, well, don't you remember what Sutton did to Kyle? And we get to flashback of this horrible thing that Sutton did, where she asked Kyle to share about her personal life because she's not wearing her wedding ring, which she was purposely not wearing to get people

to ask her about her life so that she could

cry and freak out that people asked her about her life.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

So, um, Erica's

like, why should Kyle be loyal to

Sutton? Explain that to me, Garceau. What is the

rationalization behind this? I'd like to

know. So, um,

uh, then everyone,

they're now going to start walking off to the,

this beach experience,

et cetera, and they get there and they start there's like lots of people and vendors and it's really looks really fun and they're all browsing around but Sutton's still back at the villa and um she's like okay I decided to come to dinner tonight for a couple of reasons number one I have a very cute outfit that I don't want to waste. Number two, I will not let these women get the best of me, even though all they do is honestly get the best of me.
I'm going to show them that you didn't break me. I'm still here.
I am not broken. I am just very lightly taped together with not even good tape, like painter's tape, the kind that just will come off really easily.
So at dinner, you'll see me fall apart. I'm going to show these women that I'm strong.
And I'm going to do it by walking up to every booth in here and doing this. And then I'm going to sit at that table, and I'll be on the borderline of tears the entire time.
That is the manifestation of my strength. So she is taken down there.
Everybody else is shopping. And Jennifer Tilly sees her first and goes and hugs her.
And she's like, I'm in this shopping frenzy. Hey, person, once you have the words of toxic influences, Sutton needs whatever that is.
Oh, I'm sorry. You're making Sutton back away.
Okay, we need it to be a little bit less strong than that I need Satin to actually be able to stay in the room Here's a lava rock No, well, she's actually already pretty much a volcano Do you have anything maybe more soothing? Okay, Satin, I'm going to get this for you Because it wards up negative energy And you really need to put it on and I'm going to get the tiger eye for me. How much

is it for both of these?

So they buy it. 80 bucks by the way.

No. You guys need to haggle.

They saw you coming from a mile off.

80 bucks. For a tiger's eye necklace?

Come on.

Rip off. Yeah.

So Sutton's like, well, I'm not

going to need a crystal bracelet. I don't

need any armor because I'm not planning on fighting tonight. Just almost crying instead.
So, Sutton, I went over to go say hi. Wait, I'm sorry.
That's not. I'm reading the wrong person.
Is that a person walking by on the beach? Hello, person. Saying hi to Sutton.
Sutton, I went over to go say hi to Bill's, and we walked in the room, and I kind of felt like we were ambushed, you know?

And I said, well, Sutton's a little bit upset.

She goes, well, why did you say that?

I was going to play cool tonight.

I mean, look at me.

She's playing cool.

I have to say, Garcelle and Jennifer are kind of riling Sutton up.

Every time she comes down, they do. Like, you know, Garcelle was like, well, you seem calm now.
Let me just remind you that Kyle didn't have you back. Okay, great.
See, it's not a dinner. I know, but they're also doing what she demands, which is sticking up for her.
So they're like, okay, while you were away, here's how we stick up for you. So Jennifer's like, well, they stood up.
Stood up. You know, they were all standing there looking at me like, what's going on? And like, they just started saying, like, she can dish it out, but she can't take it.
And like, she can hear it and everything. And everybody got really riled up.
And Sutton's like, well, what have I dished out? You know what? And then Kyle interrupts. And Kyle's like, and Sutton's like, well, I'm sorry.
It's difficult for y'all to understand that if I needed to go to a happy place, else wants to talk about me because i can't get a girl go up to her makeup chair and be in peace for once in my life kyle yeah but garcelle and jennifer lullis i don't have fun to do so what's that about she goes okay are we gonna sit down and do this you're gonna attack me right in the middle of a in the middle of a mall okay this is this is a mall okay do you want to find a a saint lecia sabaro to yell at me at would that make you happier i'm just telling you that today like erica like that was her issue with you and like that like you'll go after people at their lowest moment and do you and do you think that's true well well the reason i kept my mouth do you think that's true let me finish that's true hold on you have to let me finish hold on one second do you think there's a fedora over there I need you think that's true? Hold on. You have to let me finish.

Hold on one second.

Do you think that's true?

There's a fedora over there.

I need a fedora.

Stop it.

I'm an actress.

Jamie Curtis.

I know her.

She won an Oscar, so I won an Oscar.

Stop it.

Do you?

I do.

And she's like, why does Sutton have to repeat things?

And then we see, I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of it.

Do you think, 10 seconds earlier. Do you think that's true? Do you think that's true? Do you think that's true? They can't do name them because they already did it like 10 seconds ago in a different month.
A lot of The Sun's greatest hits are coming out. Kyle's like, yes, we do think it's true.
Okay, yes, we do think it's true. Yes, we do think it's true.
I've got four more to go. See what I did there?

So Kyle, what was for me?

It was for me last year.

I mean, okay, so I didn't speak up on purpose because you're my friend and I loved you

and I love you and I didn't want to have to go against you.

Well, here I am being pummeled.

So thanks for being such a good friend, Kyle,

who dislikes her what?

A woman get pummeled by a Sbarro in St. Lucia.

Thank you.

Everybody, okay, everybody has their moments of being pummeled. Oh, no, no, five years ago, five years has been a long time with this group of women.
Okay. And she's like, yeah, but you know what? You're not the only person who's gone through moments.
Okay. And it's like, well, I'm talking about myself right now.
Oh, okay. So she's like, oh, wow.
So now it's about Kyle. Great.
Great. Of course it is.
Of course it's about Kyle now now like she hasn't seen me get pummeled she hasn't seen me get pummeled she hasn't seen me get pummeled sorry you know if you're too absorbed to see self-absorbed to see this is about me we have a serious problem um i mean that's right kyle is not kyle has gotten heat there's been confrontations but kyle has not been pummeled like kyle has not had people like like dorit yelled at kyle this season but there's not been like the the pylon that kyle kyle has been part of so many different pylons over the years slush hold up a freeway grammar yeah she she could exactly but um she really is not she's not had to enjoy well but to hear her say it she would say I've been pummeled all season by the whole cast asking me about more again she considers that pummeling questions are different from pummeling so I don't want to do this tonight Kyle and Kyle's like well don't do it tonight she's like well I can't well I will leave but I can't she's like well don't do it

well I'm not in a position right now to do this well then we're not doing it

what are you guys talking about

I just don't want every

single person on this speech

walking up to me and saying are you okay

pop up Kathy she's like

you okay everything's okay

sweetheart

I'm sick of people asking me if I'm okay

are you okay

she's like well I just don't want to be one of the Barbie dolls

and look at the shit and not be

Thank you. okay sweetheart i'm sick of people asking me if i'm okay are you okay um she's like well i just don't want to be one of the barbie dolls and look at the shit and not be bothered damn it i was gonna say bothered why'd you have to finish that line for me kathy everyone yeah she's saying i just want to be one of these barbie dolls can i just be a barbie doll for a night she goes okay well you look like one she's well thank you that's all i wanted well happy you came you know barbie had a mental breakdown too, just so you know.
I saw the film.

She did get a vagina at the end, so that was fun. Hello there.

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Furious. It's Amanda Foster.

It's Always Automatic with Ashley

Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't

take no baloney. Put your hands

together for Carly Clapp.

Catherine D. Bernardo has our hard-o.

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offit.

Dana C. Dana Do.

She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.

It's all. We never miss her call.

It's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trick-a-less.
Jamie, she has no less name-y. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.
I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Hava Nagila Weber.
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer.
Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manok's door.
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson.
Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett.
She gets an A from us, it's Lindsay D. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.
Fresh as a daisy. It's Maisie McHenry.
We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox.
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a y'all, Olivia Williamson.
Tastier than Flanderson. It's Rachel Manderson.
She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Yes, we canna. It's Savannah.
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors.
She's VVIP. It's Amanda V.
Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.
She's got a leg up. It's Bethany.
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.
Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen.
It's Queen Laifa. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.
Know your worth with Jason Kerr. We got our wish.
It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh.
She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony.
Junie. My favorite Murdo.
Karen McMurdo. She gets an A.
It's Kelly B. We love him madly.
It's Kyle Pod Chadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron.
She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthy.

Always killing it, it's Lo Alkalani.

The incredible edible Matthews sisters.

She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.

Give him hell, Miss Noel.

She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony.

Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

She ain't no shrinking Violet Kuchar.

We love you guys. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.
Have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire? Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families from ancient empires to modern monarchs to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was a teen sensation in circus shows featuring dancing bears, burlesque performers, and blood-soaked chariot races.
But when her star came crashing down, she clawed her way from rock bottom to the very top, using everything from comedy to espionage to get there. Empress Theodora didn't just survive.
She revolutionized women's rights across the Byzantine Empire, like changing laws to let women divorce men, own property, and bring abusive men to justice.

For all her work in pioneering, she's remembered as the most powerful Byzantine empress in history.

Follow Even the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.