#2991 RHOC S19E09 Part 2: Katie-Sixed

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap.

If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there.
And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

Now we go to a place called Fleur-de-Lis, because of course there's a place called Fleur-de-Lis, aka Gretchen's favorite thing to put on her wall. And Emily,

there's not a stitch of fleur-de-lis in this place, by the way.

Not a stitch. I don't

know tacky. And they walk in, and Emily picks up what looks like something like a booger splatted against a wall.
And she goes, oh, this is nice. Like, oh, God.

there's no tackier show on Bravo. There really is.
It really is. Like, literally, every place they go is so tacky on this show.

And having this on the same night as Miami, where they just keep on going to like glamorous locales, like one after the next. And you have this show, it's just really hard.

And like, the good news is that you leave this show and go to the world of Miami. But the bad news is that I watch the screeners in reverse order.
I watch Miami first.

So to go from the luxe, colorful world of Miami to now flirtily of like Laguna Beach, I'm like, oh, this is really hard.

So, um, so Emily walks in and then Shanna comes in and then they like pretend to hide from each other. They're like looking at each other through like a bookcase.
Like, isn't this funny?

It's a bookcase, but we can see each other, but we're acting like we can't see each other. God, I love having good girlfriends, not toxic over here.

So, Gina's like, oh my God, like, what are we like shopping for? I mean, I can like always shop, okay?

And Emily's like, I don't know, fun stuff. Let's get fun stuff.
That's why we're at Fleur-de-Lee, home of fun stuff, wacky, wacky times.

oh well i think i found a pillow for emily look at this pillow it says it says not tonight

i guess i'll give i guess i'll give this to earl um so that way he can tell me if tonight's the night that he's gonna be trying vegetables

uh shopkeep do you have one of these pillows that says none of these men will be intimate with me

This was more fun than it is about you.

Do you have a pillow that on the front side says David? And then the back side says David?

Okay, no, that's fine.

What does the other side say? The other side says tonight. The side's never going to see the sun, though.
It's always going to say not tonight.

Well, we're so wacky.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to be so much fun. So So Emily's like,

it's not tonight, pillow. Hold on.
It's a Subway sandwich. Sure, it's hilarious.

Oh, by the way,

if Not Tonight is supposed to reference me being an awful person, guess what?

That's tonight. Because guess what? I have to tell you, because it's on my mind, but Jen called me.
So we see Jen, a flashback of Jen calling Emily and

saying that Katie said that the polygraph people were paid actors. You know what, what, Jen? I get you not, if you don't want to be dragged into Katie's, whatever, that's fine.

But going from your best friend on the show to immediately turning around and calling everyone on the cast and be like, well, here's what Katie said. And Katie, no, no, no, no.

And Katie said, Katie's accusing you guys.

You're coming across as a real dick, Jen. And I'm actually surprised because I like Jen.

Well, if you don't want to be in the middle of it, then don't be in the middle of it. Yeah, and stop calling everybody and putting yourself in the middle of it and staying in the middle of it.

You ding-dong.

Middle.

You're a bad friend. That's what you are.
I thought you were a better friend than this. You're choosing Gretchen over Katie.

Hey, Jen, did you go to Middlebury College? Because as far as I can tell, you're in the middle and you kind of look like a berry. So there.

So

Emily is like, she thinks it was like a setup. Like I planned all this, that I had time on my hands.

I mean, you literally put robes up, like you put like blind, like you put curtains up and set up two different polygraph rooms. You and

also set up a threw a whole person New Year's party.

You had the time.

You had the time, Emily. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You had to put your Supreme Court case to the side that you were trying, but yeah, I think you had the time here.
Oh, also in the interview that Matt did with Stu, he said,

oh, please, Emily's like a Malkoff lawyer.

Malkoff lawyers need love representation to

Innocence Project.

So,

and so Gina's like, I mean, well, you know who would think that is like somebody who sets people up. Okay, I don't think Katie was setting people up.
I don't think Katie's Machiavellian like that.

So, Emily's like, well, by the way, the person who set up Katie was you, Gina, last year when you told Katie to bring up the Heather stuff on camera.

And then you totally backed off of it and was like, well, you got to confront Heather. Otherwise, I have to.
So I'm going to go to the other side. But you also set her up.
You got to set her up.

You also set her up by calling Kiking Monique to come all the way to Mozambique so you could have this discussion about something that had nothing to do with you, and then helped Emily with her stupid lie detector test party.

Give me a fucking break with the setup, and also, you know, who else says that they were set up? People who were set up, you dummy,

yeah, you dummy. And by the way, next time, why don't you go to Kiki Monique? Why'd you drag her all the way down to Mozambique? You should go up to Hollywood.

Jeez, go to Tartine like a real, like a real lady would.

So, um,

so then we go to um

more flashbacks okay so we're back to the present emily's like it just it wasn't a setup okay just tell the fucking truth and you pass

um but like you guys all failed your polygraph tests in some way for question unfortunately literally and she lied so there you go so then she lied in her in her in her in her in her gra in her life test

not her polygraph so emily gets a ding and she's like oh hi luke and he's like mama, let me take Toko on a walk. I'm like, dad's not home.
When he gets back, you can ask him.

And he says, no, I'm doing it now. It's like, no, Luke.
No, Luke. Oh, my God.
He just let go me. I can't believe he's doing this.
He's trying to take the dog on a walk. What does this mean about Luke?

He refuses to listen to Doc's.

My son is taking the dog on a walk. Do you know how difficult this is? I can't with Kate.
I came out with Emily. Just can't.
I'm sorry. He refuses to go to school.
And I'm like, I'm sorry.

Like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, what am I supposed to do? Just stay home all day and not go to Florida Lee.

Just stop answering the phone. If you know it's your kid to get a call every two seconds, just stop, stop answering.
I know you probably should answer the phone, but just don't.

If it's an emergency, tell the kid how to leave a voicemail. So Emily's like, Luke is very attached to me.
And if I leave the house, he gets so upset.

And then I feel like I should just leave and go be with him. And then I think, is that the best thing for him for me to just never do anything else of him?

You wonder why he talks like a baby? Maybe you should stop babying him, okay?

Drop him off, make him go to school. Bye.

Make him go to school. See you later, sucker.
Seriously, or if he's not, hire a really stern tutor or something to be there at the house and make him do his work anyway. I mean, he's he's taking off.

Listen, I used to do it all the time. I would be like, I'm sick, mommy.
I just want to be with you. I did it all the time.
So maybe that's

maybe it's me projecting a little bit of my stuff onto this, but I'm like, come on, stop crying because your son would rather not.

You know who else would rather not go to school to hang out at home all day? Every kid. Everyone.
Every kid.

Just grab him, put him in the car.

Yeah. Drop him.

Drop him. Pick him into the school.

I understand. Parenting is complicated.
And especially if he is on the spectrum, there's like added, you know, there's added things to that, but also it sounds like you're babying your kid.

And then you're like, he talks like a baby. Why is very attached to me? Why has that happened? It's like, because from everything you've told us, it sounds like you're babying him.
So, you know.

Yeah. You know, we've gotten

we've gotten some messages from people with autistic children or children on the spectrum and stuff like that. I'm not even commenting on that.
I have no idea medically what's going on with the kid.

Emily doesn't know yet either, you know, like her, she doesn't know yet. So that's all still up on, up in the air.

So I'm not like making fun of that or saying, here's how to deal with an autistic child or anything like that. I'm solely commenting on Emily's behavior.

Like, to me, Emily's behavior is just so overdramatic. She's always crying about something.
She's always turning something into some huge deal for TV.

And from what we've just seen, the kid wants to take the dog for a walk. Like, I can't.
I can't with you, Emily.

Like, I'm not going to sit here and cry in a store over your kid wanting to take the dog for a walk. Do you know how many parents are begging their kids to take the dog for a walk?

yeah

um either way it sounds like uh a difficult situation so emily is like i just don't know how to help him i'm so lost and gina's like i know like we are shane right now so i guess shane had to go pick up annab annabelle um and he couldn't take luke because luke refused to go along as well so uh emily and then he then he starts to face time again and she's like luke can you please just chill for a minute till dad gets home okay i don't know what to

do.

Listen, you say, Luke, if you fucking call me one more time,

I am going to put on some Kenny G very loudly. And that's all you're going to hear at home for the next seven days until you will go to school.
Kenny G. The old, the old Kenny G.

Be careful. Be careful what you do because that kid could grow out his hair, start perming it, and like learning to play the electric flute or whatever the fuck that guy played.
Would it be so bad?

So wrong. So wrong with that.
It's not a terrible, not a terrible fate for the kid.

So Emily is talking about how hard it is on her marriage because she wants to parent one way and Shane wants to parent in another way. And they're going to get divorced over it.

And, you know, it's, it's, all their, all of their energy is spent on Luke and Luke's need.

And they're basically just roommates living on this house, navigating these kids. And you know what we call that?

Some of us call that parenting, but she.

She's like, there's no joy in this. There is no joy on this.
He won't eat a sweet potato.

Here's what I don't, here's what I did not love about this moment was when she said, like, we're getting to a point where we're going to end up divorced because I don't know how to parent Luke.

He doesn't know how to parent Luke. And then we fight each other.

If this kid sees this and if they do divorce, it's going to be met. That's not going to be good.

Because the whole thing is that, right, like in divorce, you don't want the kids to feel like it's their fault. And she's literally on TV saying like,

we're going to divorce because we don't know how to deal with this kid. This kid, I want to do the kid this this way.
He wants to do the kid this way. And we don't know what to do with Luke.

So we're going to get divorced. I mean, like, this is not good to have on the permanent record.
I would have to. Yeah, I agree with you.
I think that that's a good point.

And that's my problem with Emily. It's the way she's navigating this whole thing with her kid.

Whatever is going on with her kid, how Emily is handling it on TV is really, really bad for this kid's future.

And, you know, you can make the argument for a lot of other housewives and how they've dealt with kid issues and stuff on this show.

And I mean, I guess you could take that case by case, but in this case, it's Emily and she sucks at it. It's really hard to buy.

I actually respect the transparency of it all. Like I, like, she is struggling with her kids, and I do want authentic things on this show.

And I think that is an authentic, true pressure that she's feeling. And I think it is hard.

Like Alison Arca said, I think it's like she's in a very hard situation because for whatever, whatever, whatever led to this point in their relationship with their child, like that's just where they are now and they're trying to deal with it.

And so I enjoy the transparency of all, of it all and, and getting a peek into her personal struggles of what she's dealing with versus like, like, oh, I've got like a sandwich in my purse.

But that being said, like, it's, it's one of those tough things where it's like, I want authenticity, but then you cringe that

like about what damage she might be doing in the long run to her, to her child, if any.

So then we go over to Katie and Matt. And, oh, by the way, the ladies are crying in the store.
Shannon is like, come on, honey, honey, come here. Can we just get a pillow that says, go to school?

Let's get that pillow.

We can go to Katie and Matt's house.

By the way,

put the dog in the car. And next time Luke wants to walk the dog, you just trickle.
He goes into the car like, aha, guess what? Now you're going to help me pick up Annabelle. Congratulations, Luke.

You just use the tools. Use the tools that you have.
Use that dog to yourself. I guess I just didn't have that many options as a kid.

It was like, Ronnie, if you're going to stay home, I have to leave. I'm not leaving you alone.
We're getting your sister from school. I didn't get to be like, no, I don't want to.

And then do whatever I want. Yeah, same.
I got a flex water to the head and shoved in the back of the car. Okay.

There was no option. There was no option.
I don't get this like,

you know, I don't get it. There's not like the please, please, will you get in the car? It was never, there was, there was not a single please ever.
There was no, it was get in the car, you know?

I mean, I was a good kid. So usually they didn't have to say things like my parents didn't have to say things, but like, you know, there was, there was no option.

It's just like your parents told you what to do and you did it.

And yeah, I mean, I didn't, but there were wars over it. It was never just like, do whatever you want, Ronnie.
Sure.

So at Katie's house,

she is sitting with Matt and they're talking about what a cluster fuck this all is. And I kind of feel for Matt because he's just like, oh, hi, my wife's home.

And she's like, here's what's going on with the ladies. And you just see him like dying inside.
He's like, oh, Jesus.

So he's like, what is happening with Jen and Ryan pretending like they didn't hear it?

You know, like, do you know how many three-way calls I've been on with Ryan and Slate talking about what they told us at dinner? I mean, look at the amount of calls. So he shows his phone

and he chose multiple calls from MySpicy Asian with a little

chili pepper thing on it.

And apparently Katie entered her name as MySpicy Asian on his phone, she said on X, Twitter, Twitter.

And then we see some, we see a call from Slade. Hold on, let me see.
I screenshotted it so I could. Someone online screenshotted also that, like, also that, like, Slade's texts were like,

in case people are wondering about the authenticity of what Matt was saying, it was like,

clearly, Slade had sent

Matt Tamra's IG story saying that she'd quit the show. So, like, definitely Slade was talking about Tamra.

In case there was any

calls thing. So, Slade calls Matt.

Matt calls Slade and then Matt calls it back and then talks to Katie a couple of times and then calls Slade another couple of times and then Slade, there's a missed call from Slade.

So I don't know what the damning thing is, except that the guys have been talking, you know, about it.

Like it was enough that like, enough that like people needed to get on the phone and have a dis and have discussions like in a, in a, in a, in a in a fury. And

like that does not seem like someone would be like, oh, whatever. This is, this is stupid.
This is, this is like nobody dealt.

Like, I think you have those big conversations if there's like a cover-up. If it's like, what? No, like, like, Gretchen never said that.
And it's like, oh, okay. Like, whatever.

It was just stupid timer. She's just trying to stir up shit.
But the fact that there's all this conversation, to me, this is a smoke and fire situation.

And Matt's like, well, 43 minutes on March 10th. I mean, just shooting the shit with Slade, really? Like,

how long can I talk about his crooked penis for? Yeah. And he says, you don't think he's trying to manipulate this? I mean, 911, he puts on the phone.

He essentially said Gretchen is going to deny it and Katie needs to hold the line and stay with Gretchen. And I said, I got a hold of Katie.
I told her what you told me and she'll stay with Gretchen.

Okay.

So that he originally agreed to go on the plan, go in on this plan. So Katie's like, yeah, Slade alerted Matt and Ryan about this whole naked wasted situation while we were in New Orleans.

And I think he was trying to cover his tracks. And he thought by telling Ryan and Matt, he would control Jen and I.

So

God, shows my brain scrambled. So Matt's like, yeah.
And whenever I've hung out with Slade, it's always him telling us how we started Housewives.

And someone sent me a clip where he talks about, oh, if Joe's not on, then I'm not on.

And then we see a flashback from the reunion in 2016 with Andy going, Slade, can you understand why some people think you're a media whore?

And he's like, No, I mean, you should remember that after the second season, I made the decision not to continue on the housewives. I made that decision.

He's like, uh, well, Joe wasn't a housewife anymore, so there was no place for you on the show. And Slade's like, correct.

That's such a douchebag. I think Slade, I guess is Slade trying to imply that it was like he told Joe not to go back or something like that.
Like, I don't know. Like, he is so stupid.

Like, no, it's awful. He's implying that it was his, like, he was the main cast member and it was his decision not to come back on the show.
He's so ridiculous.

And we know this is true because when we met Slade 10 years ago, this is exactly what he was telling us as well. Oh, I created the housewives and, you you know, this was all my idea.

And he even told me, you know, I mean, if it wasn't for me, you guys wouldn't even have a job, really. What would you be talking about? I mean, I started this whole thing.
Like, oh, okay.

Okay. Yeah,

Slade did, sure. It's time for a commercial.
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Matt's saying, you know, every time we've ever been anywhere near Slayton Gretchen, it's the same stories over and over and over and over again.

And Katie's like, yeah, let's make you hate the person that we hate. Yeah, they're out to bury Tamara.
Right. And like, and then Jen just left you out to dry.
Yes.

And that's honestly the most hurtful part of all this is my dearest friend is like, I didn't hear it. And neither did Ryan.
And Matt's like, they were there.

She's like,

I just miss Jen. I know it's stupid.
Jen, that is. She's very stupid.
I know she's stupid, but I just do. I do.
It feels stupid missing someone so stupid, but call me a stupid person. I miss her.

I miss her. And she's like, I just don't know.
I didn't do anything to Jen. Why would she do this to me? I just can't figure it out.

Because you keep trying to drag her into drama and she doesn't want the drama. She doesn't want your drama, you know? I think, Katie, ultimately, we've said it a million times.

Ultimately, this is on you for going and telling a blogger in the first place or a podcaster. I don't know why you keep calling her a blogger.
Well, also,

but there is a fable. There is a moral to this story.
I mean, it is Boy Who Cried Wolf, which is that, like, again,

there's a few times earlier this season where Katie was caught in stupid lies that were inconsequential, but enough so that now when there's something big like this that happens, she just doesn't have credibility.

And that's, that's kind of on her. Again, I'm Team Katie, but like she's, she's saying like, I lied, but I only lied because they told me to lie, but now I'm not lying.

But I am kind of lying because I didn't tell Kikim the other thing.

It's too many things of like, I'm lying, but I'm not lying, but I am lying, but I'm, but I wasn't lying, but I, but I'm lying now, but I'm not lying now, but I was lying then.

Yeah, it's like, oh, well, I was recording you, Shan, but I only showed this. Well, I don't, I didn't say it, but I, yes, I did do this.

It's like

so then we go to Jen and her sons are coming to Beach Day, which is, I still find it so funny that she named her son Dawson. I don't know why.

I just think it's so funny that Jen's like, i really love that guy he was just so nice to felicity

um yeah i um she probably did name him dawson from that show

of course

yeah is dawson a name that people name people other than that i don't think i've ever known another dawson

i'm thinking if i know any dawson i don't know any dawsons but you know

To be fair, this is also the same show that gives us Chanel, who's Heather's friend, spelled S-H-A-N-E-L.

I'm shocked that Heather is friends with someone who misspells Chanel. This is Chanel.
She's the Canal Street version of Chanel because she's spelled with an S. I thought you'd get along with Gina.

Pretty much. So they are all gathering, and guess who Tamara has brought? She's brought Joe.
So Joe is back again. Tamara's really trying to do the...

you weaponize Joe and it's not totally work it's sort of working not really though not to the effect that she wants

yeah especially because the first time Gretchen saw Joe she went up and gave her a hug and told her hi so it's like it doesn't seem to be working but it's working better today because Gretchen sees Joe she's like oh why would she do that again and then just kind of gives her the cold shoulder yeah yeah

so um and Tamar's like whatever whoever my friends are I'm a friend I'm not here to please Gretchen Rassi

So they're all gathering and they all are going to go play some

some volleyball the yeah jan's like my sons are here they're gonna show it they're gonna show us how to play volleyball okay well while they're teaching us volleyball how about we teach them not to sign hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans for each other because their parents are nincomps okay about that that's a good question let's share some knowledge those poor kids i was like run dawson run away

um so then shannon's like well i am just gonna grab a piece of cheese instead of playing sports okay okay well okay i'll play i'll play so it's volleyball and it's fun times and they're all, they're all doing it.

They're all talking about like, I'm Sporty Spice. I'm Posh Spice.
I am Posh Spice. Okay.
How hilarious. I'm just your best friend, Heather DeBreaux.
Posh Spice.

So did Emily say what was Emily's big joke in here? I forgot. She's like, Dishelled Spice.

What is it?

Disheveled Spice.

Shannon is disheveled spice.

Please get Emily off this show. I don't know how many times I need to beg you fucking people.
Get her off my show. Get her off the show.

It's done. I can't.

So then they all sit down and then Jen has provided them all gifts and they all open up their boxes and it's like supermarket croissants, like small, the small size ones too. Mini croissants.

And she goes, well, I'm on a budget.

And Gretchen just goes, what's the point of this?

Because they don't even know what to do with the croissant. I love the dress.

It's responsible. I love it.

So Heather is like, okay, everyone, something

really cool happened.

I went to a bakery and had a full-size croissant, much better than this one. So I just want to say, I've been out in the world.
Thank you, everyone. Thank you so much.
Thank you.

Well, I did order it and stare at it, and then I left it alone.

So that was fun but i actually huge go ahead ben i was gonna say i loved this story that heather had to say because it had a twist that somehow well i'll explain everyone could katarina katarina got into so many schools she got into emerson she got into chapman she got into ut austin but what her dream school the school that was so hard for her to get into was usc shannon did you hear that USC.

She really wanted to get into USC. And she's like, oh, USC.
Oh, well,

I have no poll. It's a very exclusive school.
It's very, very difficult to get into. So good luck getting into it.
Well, she got into Yellow and just going to Yell instead.

I love that because it was like puffing up Shannon to be like, your school is the amazing school, the Grail school that we all want to get our children into.

And then Shannon gets all excited and is like, oh, yes, USC. And Heather's like, I'm going to one-up you now.
Yell. Sorry.
Ha ha.

Well, actually, what kind of cracked me up is that

Shannon's attitude when she said that cracked me up because she goes, you know what? Her dream school is USC. And Shannon goes, I have no pull.

Like, don't even fucking ask me. I'm not going to the bat for your fucking daughter, Dubro.
Okay. I still have your monologue running through my head every single night before I go to sleep.
If you.

ever

come for me or my family. She's like, I've got no pole.
Please don't ask me. And And he's like, don't need it.
She's going somewhere better. Yale.

Oh, she's not going to be going to university of spoiled children. That's still a good one, bitch.
Shut up, Kelly Dodge. You're also running in my head every night before I go to sleep.

I hate that woman.

It's also, by the way, it's such a strange like selection of colleges to choose from.

Chapman, Yale, UT, Austin. It's no shade to any of the schools, but just it's sort of like all over the map in terms of like different types of schools and different tiers of schools.

I just, I don't, I don't think that there was ever any serious consideration about those other schools. I think it was always going to be Yale.

And I think Heather wanted to like seem like a little humble. And I just, I just love the Ropa Dope on Shannon on this one because it's like,

I just feel like she, she lifted Shannon up into thinking like her school was like. the one.
It was the reach. It was so hard.
It was out of place.

And it's just like, oh no, but she got into a much, much, much harder school. So yeah, I'm leaving your school behind in the dust.
Am I surprised that Kat got into Yale? Absolutely not.

Kat is just one of those kids who are all better than Shannon's kids. And am I sad that she's going across the country? Of course.

Am I glad that she's going to be away from the influence of Shannon? Of course.

But you know, I'm thrilled for her. And I'm thrilled that Shannon got to go to her lesser school all those years ago.

And I'm so happy for the kids that do get to go to USC, whether through their own merits or through the Felicity Huffman style of getting into USC. I'm happy for them.
But my kid's going to Yale.

Well, I'm going to say, I got some good news too. Sophia's got a first boyfriend.
I think he ate somebody.

It was in the lyrics of the song she wrote.

Oh,

and did he go to Yale? I'm sorry, I'm still in my yell moment here, and you're trying to one-up it with a boyfriend. And my daughter got into a world-class institution, but that's okay.

Sorry, I said yell, not yell. Okay.

Well, um, if I could tail end on that,

uh, Sophie met a guy and she really started to fall for him. And last night, he ended it and she was in tears.
So she flew. I'm like, why are you crying over Sophie's like fling?

She's sitting here crying and she's like, so she flew in for the weekend. And she's going to come here pretty soon.
So I'm excited for you to see her.

I'm really, really excited for you to see her because I think, as we all know, nothing makes us feel better than seeing the youth of America be heartbroken.

Oh, I'm so glad to put a tail end button on this flood of good news about our children. Sophie got dumped.
So that's been really rough on both of us.

Oh,

USC got dumped by Katarina when she chose Yale, a better option. Right.
Right, Shannon? This was so good. She's like, so Sophie just got dumped.
And Heather goes, oh, this is a good news Friday.

And they're like, Heather, Jesus. And she goes, No, I mean, it's good news that she's coming to visit her mom.
That's what I meant.

Everything Heather says today. You're like, What the fuck is going on with Heather? Well, this is good news.

This is good news. Two broken hearts come together and become one full heart.
That's great news. Or they're just two broken hearts all in just two heart pieces on the floor.

Either way, my daughter's going to Yale.

I'm so happy to hear someone from an inferior school was heartbroken. Katarina will know that she made the right decision.
She'll know. Well, I'm sure Sophie has many more

beautiful options from the men that she met when she was going to Princeton, for instance. No, she

went to, I think, she went to a school in Texas. Oh,

oh, sorry. I guess it's my daughter who's going to an Ivy League school, not yours.
Apologies.

I'm sorry. I was thinking of ivy league sophie's more bowling league okay let's get to that was he a bowler was this guy a bowler

uh i oh sorry shannon ivy league is not a nursing school league where they teach you how to put in ivies sorry sorry

i know that some of your other children here are on that path um

uh so timer's like oh yeah yeah i mean i get that breakup's good news huh and she goes good news friday say good. Okay, Shannon's miserable as usual.
So who else has something else?

And Emily's like, oh, Shane's dad came home from the hospital. So that was good.
We pulled the lie detector test on him. Turns out he was lying about being sick in the first place.

Motherfucker, I made him eat eight figs.

Oh, he had a severe liver infection, but he's doing well and he's coming home today.

And then he was so happy. I gathered the whole family and did a strip tease for him.

I will never forget Emily's first season of like, Shane doesn't find me sexually attractive, so I'm going to do a strip tease school for his father in Las Vegas. Whatever the fuck that thing was.

Well, no, because she was going to do a strip tease for Shane, but then Shane backed out, but his parents went instead. So she did it for her father-in-law and her mother-in-law.

Oh, God.

She should have been gone after that. Let's be honest.

Whatever. So Emily's like, I have not seen Shane cry many times in our 16-year relationship, but his dad being ill and dealing with Luke and Luke's needs, it was just way too much at one time for us.

So for his dad to come home, it makes me happy. It's a win.
You know what would make, that would be a really good Good News Friday.

The new cast for season 19 of this show, season 20 of the show, and Emily's not in it. That's Good News Friday.
Yeah, replace her with Perry. That's what I say.

So Jean was like, okay, I got good news. Sierra Rose did a

character counts award this morning for being the kindest little girl in Acclias. So that was nice she showed up and gave everybody aspirin and a mediterranean cook puzzle

we're really having diminishing returns on this good news friday i'm not i'm not gonna lie like i i guess coming home from the hospital that's good news um but i think i just

are there just i just want we need to work on this good news i'm just like your daughter getting kindest little girl in her class that's nice i guess But do you, do you personally have good news in your life, like not your daughter's life?

So Joe's like, well, my husband and I, Taryn, have officially decided to try and have a baby. 44 and trying.
Here we go. Oh, great.

So I guess in about 20, 20 years or so or 18 years, that baby will be applying and not getting into Yale. I'm so happy for you.

I'm so excited for you to ask Shannon for contacts to that inferior U.S. whatever.

University of Spoiled and Also Stupid Children, right, Shannon? right? Elbow nudge. Um, hi, everybody.
I'm Britt. I'm here too.

So, um, my good news is going to be really good news every day, not just Friday, because Matt's here. And I could not imagine my life without Matt or his kids in my life or even my life.

And it was just a really scary moment because he almost let me have a heart attack. And but he is still here.
He's still here.

Shannon's like, oh, it is just so amazing the relationship that you two have. Wow.
Wow. Someone can stand Gina.
That is just incredible. Do you take any kind of drugs? Or do you just

use earplugs?

How do you do it?

How do you do it? You know, I always told David, you know, even though we are parting, I would love to have a good relationship with whoever is new in your life.

So next time you're walking on the beach with some slut, invite her up. I would love to look at her slutty face and her slutty outfit and see, this is who you left me for?

And then I'd serve her some quinoa.

Well, guys, I've got good news too. Thank you so much for giving me the time, by the way.
And thank you so much for everybody not eating your croissants in front of me and waiting till you get home.

But,

you know, Tamara and I sat down and we had a conversation. And this woman, who has been nothing but vile to me now for two years, I've forgiven while not forgiving Katie, who's done nothing to me.

So can I get a round of applause? That would be great. Thank you, guys.
Thank you so much.

She's also wearing her own tracks. It's all good, everyone.
Her own tracks. Oh, well, now she's wearing a croissant.

okay well you know baby steps oh yeah this hair is just it's hanging off me girl do you have any extras tamara i'll take it

isn't that hilarious isn't this so fun well the question is how what do we do and points to tamara and gretchen what do we do with you two and gretchen's like oh well i keep asking the girls should tamara and i just talk or like do you think we need a meditator like what do we need to do

I don't need a meditator. I'm just confused because I asked you, did you ever say that you had to go to the hospital? And you said yes

um no i don't remember seeing that and if i did then i misspoke oh you misspoke when you said that's funny but i did have to go to the hospital because i just felt so sick hmm

but like you literally said yeah i mean

oh i misspoke

while we're excoriating liars can we kick her out kick her out oh i just misspoke i just misspoke uh which by the way also to be fair lesson to katie next Next time, just say you misspoke.

It's the oldest trick in the book. Oh, well, I misspoke.
Yeah.

Just do it. That's like fake accountability.
Yeah. You're technically taking accountability, but you're actually.

I didn't leave the show. I'm just spending some time with my family.
But I'll be back.

So

Gretchen's. So Tamara's like, yeah, you know what the hell? You said yes.
Okay. She didn't misspoke, misspeak, whatever you said.
So English is stupid. Okay, I don't even know.

You told me in New Orleans you went to the hospital. So which one is it?

And Gretchen's like, no, that's not what happened. I did not go to the hospital.

I remember saying that I was so sick that night that I probably should have gone to the hospital, but that was the extent of it.

And then we see a flashback of her, you know, lying. And so then Tamara is like, well,

Katie said Slade and Matt called Matt. Wait, Katie said Slade called Matt and said, we can't talk about this.
What about that? What about that? I'm going to start nodding my head very quickly.

What about that? What about it?

And

Gretchen's like, that's not true. Like, that's not what happened.
Okay, you can call Slade. And Tamra's like, so she's lying about that too.
No, well, she's been lying about a lot of things, Tamra.

And like, it's literally crazy that you think that.

Yeah.

So you're, you're lying.

You're fucking liar.

So then

they go. Is this where they go talk by themselves? Yeah.
So they go to talk alone and everybody's watching them. And Jen's like, oh my God, she looks so fiery.
Why does she bring Joe?

Is she really good friends with Joe? I don't really get it. And Gina's like, well, but that's not the spirit of good news rhino.
Well, yeah, well, maybe it's Tamra.

Maybe Tamara doesn't have any other friends. I mean, it's Tamara.

So Tamara's like, you know what, Gretchen? I don't understand why my name keeps getting brought up. She's like, out of all people you could bring, like, why do you bring Joe?

Does it bother you that she's here? I mean, it's more about like what your intent is no i'm sorry

to go after

it's intent

intent contingent

your intent

oh

you think i'm not a hint

or what

well i just i just think that maybe not bringing the person who is maybe a slate's ex is the best thing because we've had issues you know with slate's exes and she goes oh i didn't even make all that cheap with it i mean it's just so you know some girl you say stay, or whatever.

I just thought maybe I

bring her. I had nothing to do with that.

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Then we go back to the table and Heather's like, you know, I have such a weird place in all of this because when I joined the group, group, they were friends. We hung out.

I was much wealthier than they were back then. And now, flash forward to now, now they're not getting along.
I'm still wealthier than them, but now I've got a daughter going to Yale.

And it's just a weird place for me to be in right now.

Yeah.

So

Gina's like, oh my God, Rachel was a Tamara's wedding.

Was she a bridesmaid? As if they didn't watch every episode of this show before they came on. And Heather's like, no, but I was a bridesmaid.
It was interesting.

I still smell Vienna sausages being passed around. Is that a weird memory?

Tim, let me ask you this. Do you feel any remorse for anything when you said that I was cheating on Gif?

And then we see flashbacks of Tamara with her like gumdrop hairstyle back then, where it was like hair that would like have a plateau. Gumdrop airstyle.
Wait, what'd you say?

I didn't mean to cut you off. I thought it was no, because her hair, it it was like, it was like flat on top, and then it would like cascade down and go like a little wider.

It was like she had like a blonde hair gumdrop on her head.

It was that look for a while in Orange County.

It started like season one and lasted through season like 14. I saw you sitting on the guy's lap at the same bitches, but does that mean I'm having an affair on Jeff?

Well, you kissed him, and Jeff is in the hospital. So

And then we see the deadbeat dad thing. I'm sorry, Gretchen, but Slade was a deadbeat dad.
Okay, so I pulled this up from the ever-so-trustworthy People magazine,

which I think that's pretty trustworthy

in this world, right?

Let's see here. Where is it?

The mom, basically, the mom is saying that there was, in terms of child support, Smiley owes $152,655.27

according to a court order obtained by people at the time. So

what does that mean? If he owed $152,000 according to court orders and he didn't pay it, wouldn't that make him a deadbeat dad? I'm extremely confused about how

we're defining this now. The mother also told people she created a GoFundMe to help with costs for Grayson's Memorial, as well as to pay for his existing medical bills.

She received donations from the two judges, two judge,

sorry, two teas and a pod co-hosts. Slade and Gretchen can keep the money that rightfully belonged to my child, but they cannot shamefully capitalize on his sweet memory as I will no longer permit it.

And in death, I will be his voice, she said. Enough is enough.
So I don't know.

If you don't want that shit being spread around, then talk to that lady and the court or the court papers says that Slade owed that much money.

Literally don't care.

And I think at this point, it's such old news and the fact that gretchen's bringing it up is so stupid so gretchen is like she's like you literally started saying these things from like from the very get-go making accusations that like weren't even true and she's like yeah but there were articles about him not paying child support so i mentioned it like now there's no articles about my like why do you guys keep talking about slade and the child support like it's it's been years like we all know like slade smiley has faced multiple court orders for child support with his ex-partner michelle claiming he owed blah blah blah reports yeah so i mean i don't know You what, what we do know, here's what we do know: is that

what we do know is that at the heart of all this bullshit, every single one of the thing, everything is Slade.

It's always because then Tamara's like, Well, you have to have to remember that 13 years ago, Slade was on stage calling me fat.

And then we see him doing his stand-up where he's like, You know, if B.F. Goodrich issued a press release, said that Tamara Barney is replacing the Michelin man as their mascot.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, and then, uh, God, he was just hilarious, wasn't he? And Brett's like, Yeah, this is the the problem because we go back and forth. Okay.
So let me start with this.

But you don't even let me talk, Gretchen. Okay, then, but let me start with this.
But I can't talk about it. Well, let me start with this.
Matt, what, what, what, I can't talk.

But I'm just saying, let me start because I'm sorry for reaching out to your daughter. It's like, oh, okay.
You can stop that.

You can start. You can start.

I'm sorry. I did that because I know that it hurt you.
And that was not my intention at the time.

And so then over at the table, Shana's like, well, I hope that Gretchen can get to the point where I am, which which is I, I just have total indifference to Tamara. Like, I'm, I am so indifferent.

Like, when I see Tamara, do I get angry? Nope. Do I yell at her? Nope.
Do I want to throw little cubes of cheese at her forehead? Nope. Because I want to have those for myself.

I am totally indifferent. Shannon, indifferent madore.
That's what I'm known for, being indifferent and not emotional.

Yeah, but I feel like you go back and forth because in New Orleans, you're friendly and you guys go to a bar, but then in my house, you're indifferent. What is it, Shannon?

But it must be difficult for you to talk the line of having fun with someone you have history with. And it's like, wait a minute, I got to be smart and protect myself.
I get that.

I'm a person of the people. It's easy for me, television's Heather to Pro.

So then back to the other two. Gretchen's like, well, I was hoping that you could come to the table and say, Gretchen, I'm sorry I got involved.

And she's like, well, we haven't even gotten there, Gretchen, because you won't let me talk. So what about you? Let me talk about something.
Okay, I'm going talk now.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. That's not anything to do with what we're talking about.
Let me say what I want. My turn to talk, bitch.

So, um, uh, Tamara's saying that she's like, I did not call him a deadbeat dad, which, of course, she basically did.

And Gretchen's like, Yeah, what you talked about in your podcast is the same as calling him that. Like, that was the intent of it, and everything.

She's like, Well, first of all, I can't control what gets put on the podcast. I have put together all of my headlines.
I have, I have stitches together all the words that I say. I can't help it.

I just, they say they had me walk in and they had me do the entire phonetic alphabet and then they just type out the entire podcast. It's not my fault.
That was so crazy blaming iHeart.

It was literally on your podcast. What are you talking about? And so Gretchen's like, well, you could say you don't want to talk about it.
She goes, why would I do that? I don't like you, Gretchen.

Okay, do you want to move forward or not? She's like, well, yeah, I want to move forward, but I can't draw the past, Gretchen. Okay.
I can't sit with the past. She's so obsessed with me.
Hi, Joe.

hi joe so yeah

right

right so uh uh so timer's like yeah what's it gonna take for you to let things go and gretchen's like okay i'm not gonna let go like what you did because that caused like so much pain and it hurts to both like slate and i in our lives because like when you put out that slade is a deadbeat dad like when slate tries to get work and help us support his family and to help his son.

Back in the day, people would just like Google it and look it up and be like, Slade is a deadbeat dad.

Like, i actually guarantee what stopped slade's employment opportunities even more was the stand-up clip that we just showed that they just showed and him calling vicky miss piggy and also just his general behavior on the real housewives as being awful as he's been awful to all of us

yeah he's gross he's a gross person because if you do a search if you do a search for slade smiley you're going to find a million comments and a million items and a million articles talking about how, ugh, no one likes Slade Smiley.

Everyone's like, oh, get rid of Slate Smiley. Slate Smiley is gross.
Slade Smiley is disgusting. That is what's affecting the employment opportunities.

So, and back in your day, you were saying that you wouldn't marry Slade because he had too much debt and all this other stuff that was going on, and he wasn't working.

So, Slade has never been working since you've known him. So, why are we pretending that Slade was this like rich guy with a job when that hasn't happened since season two? So, I don't know.

Yeah, he also like he basically gave up like corporate life to

follow fame, right? He started trying to be an actor or trying to do stand-up and comedy, and then he's like shocked that he can't just like insert himself right back into like the corporate world.

Or has he even,

I don't know, I mean, I may have all my facts jumbled up, but

I can't imagine the deadbeat, the deadbeat element is, is the only thing that's preventing him from getting work. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.

And also, if anybody looks it up, it wasn't just Tamara saying he was a deadbeat. It was because he wasn't paying his child support.
There were were multiple court orders against him.

So, I mean, it's like, that's also searchable, Gretchen.

So, and I can't believe you're making me stand up for Tamara, but like, seriously, my God, you're with Slade and Slade is the ultimate worst on this show.

Slade even started all this shit that they're fighting about right now. You know, Slade has always been a problem and he's always going to be a problem.

He got you fired the first time and he's going to get you fired the second time.

So, so Gretchen, when Gretchen said like that Slade has not been able to get work because of what Tamara said, Tamara goes, wait, Wait, so I stopped him from getting jobs?

Yeah,

I wasn't aware of that. At that point, Tamara's like, I won.
I did it.

I won this war.

I can forgive now. I don't, we can, we can put down our swords.
Well, if she would have told me that I won this argument years ago, it would have stopped me. It's got stupid.
Okay, come on.

I'm going to put my knees up against your knees. Okay, now listen to your question.
We're like sisters, right, Gretel? I'm a good friend, Rachel. I love you so much, Gretchen.

I'm so glad we're friends now, Rachel. Come with the baby hand, comb and brush in.
Tell you how much I love you, Gretchen. We're best friends now.

I don't want to swear I said to affect your life in any sort of way, Gretchen. Knees to touch, knees to knees touching.
Okay, we'll love each other now. And Gretchen's like, but it still is.

And look, we're, we're going to work through all of it then. And I'm going to, I'm willing to work, move forward.

And basically, they agree that they're going to move forward and they're going to be friends. And now they're going to hold hands and come back to the table.

Wait a minute hell just froze over pigs are flying pigs in a blanket out of my purse and into my mouth wacky emily

well well look at that now i'm going to be the asshole of the group i guess i'm going to be the one holding on to a grudge for tamara i'm like that's exactly right you thought that was not a consideration

like i like i've been saying

yeah shannon shannon makes it about her but to be fair she's also making it about her because she knows like ultimately everything that tamara is doing is part of like a larger war against against Shannon.

So Gretchen is just a pawn in that. Yeah.

So she's like, wow, well, if Shannon and Gretchen want, I mean, sorry, if Jen and Gretchen,

if Gretchen and Jen want to resolve multiple years of issues with Tamara in a 10-minute conversation and then skip along the beach like five-year-old sluts, then that's fine.

I've been there and I've done the skipping off too. I'm not going to do it anymore.

Hold on, let me make my lips into the hoop noise.

Oh, so you made up? Oh, oh,

is this step one, or are there going to be multiple steps of making up, or are you guys just going to say that you're good and put a band-aid over it and

just isolate me in the group and make me look like the bitch and run me off the show? Because I just want to prepare myself mentally. Thanks so much.
Thank you.

To Good News Friday, we're taking step one in going to Yale.

The producer's like, Do you think it's going to last? No, I don't think it's going to last. And I was like, their relationship is like what my career on this show should have been.

Two-week shelf life. That's it.

So now poor Sophie arrives at the beach.

Her mother has just told everybody that she got dumped. So of course, Emily comes in with the softest hand.
So before you got here, Shannon told us you got dumped by a hottie. Sorry, stupid.

Want to be a blanket?

In the spirit of it takes a village, you're here with all your wise elders and the very elders, Shannon.

Anyway, we're going to help you out of it because we're going to tell you all our worst breakup stories and we're going to start with Gina.

She's like, your mother's got five from just last week alone.

Yeah,

I don't know if Sophie needs the worst breakup stories. I mean, she's.

She's.

Her mom's Shannon.

Yeah, she's had enough breakup stories. Geez.
She has perspective. Just give the kid the croissants in a box.
I know, right?

So Gina's like, well, I would say my worst breakup story was like my divorce, but like, like it all landed when it was supposed to. And Tim's like, yeah, okay, Joe, what was your worst breakup story?

That's your slave. I'm sorry.
And Joe's like, yeah, you don't want to know my story. And we see the flashback of her and Slaved bringing up in therapy.

And now there's like, well, I was in middle school once, and I had a boyfriend, and he broke up with me on a soccer field with his whole posse of guys.

By the way, he's gay now and has never worked in the industry. It's humiliating, mostly for him.

Yes, I was standing there on the fields of Horace Greeley High School, being dumped by a gay man. And I thought, how sad for you?

Because I'm going to grow up and be wealthy, sending my child to Yale, and you're just going to be a gay in New York who somehow doesn't make it on Broadway. How terrible.

I remember I was so obsessed with this wrestler and he had a Bronco and I loved his hair so much that I got tracks to look just like his hair.

And I just, I mean, he had a Bronco and Heather's like, I mean the Bronco alone. What is a Bronco?

Oh, Terry and I just bought, bought one of those.

We just actually bought one of those. The football team.
Gotta, I'm so impressed you dated someone with the football team also.

so i went to a house party and i was like you know it's a small town so we're just gonna have sex oh that's what happens when you when you're from a small town i'm from a small town too that's what we do too big towns people don't have sex like that but in small towns we do

wait so you had sex you had you had sex with like a wrestler sophie do not listen to this whatsoever she's like yes yes and then you know he had his friend take me home and you know then i had sex with a friend and then i was like do you think he still likes me and then the friend was like i don't know so it was a really great night for both of us Sophia?

Okay, Sophie, you can go home now.

Don't listen to Auntie Jen anymore. Thanks, Sophie.

I had a boyfriend back in the 80s. He was so hot and everything.
And he dumped me. He had a girlfriend and stuff.
So I had to get to his house.

So I went to his house and I got his favorite leather jacket. And I stabbed it with the knife.
I kept stabbing it and stabbing. I said, fucking fucked up, fucker.
And then I was leaving at the garage.

And I'm standing there with the knife still held above my head. And he opened the garage and he drove away because he saw me standing there with the knife.

It was that funny. It was so funny that I kept my hats off on that day for the next 20 years of my life.
So then, Jen

so Jen's like, you showed him. And like, so they're all just like laughing.

And Shanna goes, you know, someday, Sophie, you're going to sit at a table and you're going to laugh about your breakup stories with another group of toxic women, too.

Here's to Sophie getting kicked out of a party one day for lying about something. Everybody, good news Friday.

And then we got the mid-season trailer, which featured zero Katie. So it looks like she is done and done.

Katie did say that she will be going to the reunion, but I think that's it for Katie for the regular episodes. She's done.

Yeah, looks like that's a wrap on Katie, but the rest of the season still looks insane. So let's see.

Of course, the Gretchen and Tamara truce lasts about five five minutes as we all suspected uh so i guess we'll see we'll see where it goes you know what we'll see

everyone thank you so much for being here and we will catch you on the next episode bye everyone bye

patch

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