#2992 RHOM S7E14: Cruise Controlling
The Real Housewives of Miami head out for a Virgin Voyages cruise where they split into groups and attempt to mend their rifts. Shockingly, no spats. But will that last? Β To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.
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Transcript
This special episode of Watch What Craps is brought to you by Virgin Voyages.
Yep, today we're going to be diving into the latest Real Housewives of Miami.
And the girls hit the high seas with Virgin Voyages and as per usual, they popped off.
If you want the same luxurious amenities, delicious food, and good times that the housewives had in the episode, you can have it all with Virgin Voyages.
The drama does not come standard, okay?
You'll need to bring your own.
But one place we know the drama won't be coming from is the kiddos, because guess what?
Virgin Voyages cruises are child-free, baby.
And when we say Virgin Voyages cruises are all inclusive, we mean it: Wi-Fi, dining, entertainment, group fitness classes, it's all included.
No hidden fees, no surprise charges.
And the destinations are amazing, too.
Some highlights: Aruba, St.
Lucia, New York, Miami, Iceland, and a below-deck favorite, The Med.
So, obviously, we watched this episode last night, and I'm not going to lie, I saw those kitchens and the restaurants and I was actually very excited.
Like I was like, I would actually, I actually really, really want to go there.
And like, I really love the test kitchen, that whole situation where they were sitting around that.
I was like, I have never seen a restaurant like that on a cruise before that looked so chic.
Yeah, incredible.
Like incredible foods, clubs, like nightclubs, dancing.
The rooms are just so
beautiful.
I mean, seriously.
The rooms were legitimately crazy.
They were like the, that was so nice.
I just did not think that, like, I really didn't think that that was something that you could get on a cruise ship.
So I was impressed, personally.
Yeah, truly gorgeous.
Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages.
I mean, come on.
If it's good enough for the housewives, who isn't it good enough for?
Learn more at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only the perfect and special Ronnie Carom.
Hi, Ronnie.
How's it going?
Well, hello.
How's it been going with you?
It's going well.
You know, it's, it's Miami Day and, you know, that's kind of like my favorite day.
Like, cause, you know, I'm not going to do my whole typical monologue about how much I love this show.
You guys all know I love this show.
So I'm happy.
What's what's new with you?
Nothing.
I'm having a great time over here.
Still looking for the little bobcat in my neighborhood.
I saw it one time, a little baby bobcat.
And so now I'm like looking all over for it to make it my little friend, but I haven't seen it again since.
So
getting kind of upset over here.
Well, I hope it's okay.
Typical bobcat.
But here we are with some real housewives with me, Jamie, season seven, episode 14, navigating friendships.
Ooh.
Yes.
So this is the episode where they have just gotten back from a cast trip and now they're going on another cast trip.
I don't think we've ever had back-to-back cast trips.
And by the way, they had a cast trip.
They had a trip embedded within the cast trip and now they're going on another trip.
I'm like, I'm very impressed.
They really, they really upped the budget on this one this season.
Yeah.
Well, we opened with Gertie at home in her closet, FaceTiming Stephanie.
She's like, hello, baby girl.
I was starting to pack for the trip.
And then I was like, should I get a little bit of a post for Stephanie?
Because that first trip it was so chaotic girl it was a lot it was a lot how do you feel tell me everything tell me how you feel i feel like tell me deep down i feel like that trip was a lot for me that trip was a lot for me a lot it was a lot a lot of money that i spent on a private plane okay um yeah i would look at julia marisol alexia where are you with with all the girls where are you with the girls no tell me
no i most definitely have not spoken with any of them none of them no okay i only speak to the men who i'm surrounded with because i work with men That's the only people I've spoken to.
Definitely not spoken to them.
I get it.
You know why?
Because it was a lot.
It was a lot.
Then we go to the Alexia and Frankie beauty bar, and Larsa calls Alexia and she's like, Hi, what's going on?
Like, I'm at the beauty bar.
Hey, Frankie, you know what?
You should say hi to Larsa because she's calling right now while we're at the beauty bar.
He's like, Hello, love.
I love.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Look at that.
Frankie has just become like
Miami, you know, salon owner.
Because, you know, he just says that to everybody like, hello, love.
What are we doing today on your hands?
Oh, my love.
I miss you, love, like, and this and that, and X, Y, Z.
What's it like?
Are you ready for the cruise?
We're going to go on a cruise.
Are you ready for it?
Was it a lot?
I mean, I'm like all packed up.
Like, hopefully we can go on this cruise and like have like a good time like and make good memories like and not necessarily fight like
well i'm not trying to fight anybody and i really hope you and lisa are not trying to fight each other be either because you know what it's so hard between both of you larsa it's like so hard frankie what would you say right now to lisa if she was here hello my love that's right listen to frankie
well help me fix it like help her fix it like help us fix it like let's us be fixed like yeah
okay then okay then maybe you can like help me with stephanie too because like i i really did feel offended that she came at me at the plaza.
Like, how could you come to me at the plaza in front of the St.
Francis key?
So then we cut back to the to Gurdi and Stephanie talking.
And Stephanie's like, I don't understand how my words get misconstrued.
And it's been like a tough adjustment for me.
Like, I don't understand when I say, if you don't do exactly what I say and on your best behavior, be both on the plane and off the plane, I'm going to leave you behind.
And if you die, you die.
That's not my fault because you don't work in business.
How does that get misconstrued all the time?
I know.
So misconstrued.
It's like crazy misconstrued.
Yeah, I mean, I want everyone to cool down.
And my whole vibe for this cruise is nautical Steph.
You're going to hear that word a lot because that's going to what, that's going to be what makes me really charming and hilarious this episode.
Nautical Steph.
Nautical Steph.
Yeah, I'm going to be hilarious.
Nautical.
I'm going to be hilarious right now.
Okay.
Cause like Stephanie, if you, if you guys don't mind if I speak about myself in the third person, Stephanie has like a lot of personalities.
Like she has one personality that puts her tongue on one of her lips
and then laughs.
So spin the wheel, bitch.
Spin the wheel.
Cause like, who are you going to get today?
Because nautical steph, she's super calm.
She's always unbothered.
And she's definitely going to be America's favorite.
I think it's just like rolls off the tongue.
Nautical Steph.
Oh, Nautical Steph.
Nautical Steph.
I love that.
How is she doing?
How is Nautical Steph doing?
Tell me.
Tell me.
Can I jump in this year as Marisol as the low, as the resident jokester of Real Houses of Miami?
Nautical Steph, more like not a cool staff.
All right.
You may need a khaki to enjoy that one.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
She tried it.
She tried it.
Marisol tried it, right that was a good one that was a good one she tried it okay nautical steph right nautical steph okay steph nautical steph i'm gonna go with that nautical steph
yeah because it's like every time i hit the ocean i'm just chilling like don't you remember when i was like very chill on the yacht earlier this season and um i called uh alexia a rottweiler like remember that that was easy i'm like a chill
So back to Alexia and Larsa.
She's like, I'll help you with Lisa.
If you help me with Stephanie, and the four of us are going to be hanging out, okay?
Because we're going to help each other.
And Larsa's like, can't you like?
So then Mariusol arrives to meet Julia at a cafe.
Julia is dressed like, I don't know, like a lady who owned sheep in the 20s.
I don't know.
It's like some separate music hair.
I don't know.
I think she got a new stylist.
She was like, we're going to do crazy things with your hair today.
She's like, okay, I like.
It was like braids like at the top.
It was like she was like creating a surface that she could have plate put a plate on or something yeah marisol's kind of pretty i think i i'm not sure but i don't know listen i love some new hair i'm just always jealous of people with hair you know
marisol comes in goes oh i love the hair which is her way of saying god i hate that hair and julia's like you look so cute she's like well you look terrific and by terrific you look terrible and the weather is delicious isn't it by that i mean it's humid what are you having is that tea is that a cocky is it a cocky is a tea and cocky all together Come on, spill the beans.
Thank God the weather's delicious because it's all I'm gonna eat.
Am I right?
I feel so proper.
You want to feel proper?
Have some English tea?
Oh, yes, English tea was scone.
So proper
scone, I don't even know what that is.
How are the boys?
Oh, well, Martina is in the kitchen, and she said, I'm making my mother's cake like mother cake, like a cake of a mother, like the mother who made cake and then breads.
Oh, wow, wow wow martina she's such a she's such a mommy chica mommy mam chica mamchka babushka i'm sorry ben but i'm gonna have to correct you because we're not calling her martina today today it's only marty all right because we go way back me and marty oh yes marty making cake cake my mommy cake yeah marty oh good old marty let's make that happen today call marty
Yeah, let's call her up.
So look, look who I'm on phone with.
Drunk lady.
look at her do you see her marty do you mind if i call her marty now they say if i want to be friends with cool girls i have to call you marty now look marty put uh put one son on fun okay son look this lady this is what hides under bed not so scary right
she only eats air not children
look oh martin marty marty I said you're making cake, but you are making pie.
Look, look at it.
Look at her berry pie.
Show me the berry pie.
Show me your berry pie.
That sounds dirty.
It's beautiful.
Well, look at that.
I'm just so impressed.
I'm so impressed.
Oh, and there's Jackson.
Oh, the boys.
Look at the boys.
Marty has boys.
Oh, their faces.
They're just so cute.
All right.
See you, Marty.
All right.
I didn't come to lunch to stare at your old lady pie and your weird face.
All right.
Let's just go ahead and cut that.
All right.
Boys, press end on your mother's phone.
All right.
Good.
Thanks.
Martina's at home with her berry pie being like, I didn't win 45 million goddamn Grand Slam titles to be called Marty.
She's like, who the fuck is this woman?
Oh my God, when I see those babies, it just talks in my heart.
Ow, my heart.
God, just get them over here.
Get them over here.
Give me a vampire facial with some of their blood.
I could really use some of their youth.
Just get it into my face.
So now they're talking about
I wish it could be six of us all the time, but it cannot be because daughters do not accept little cute babies.
Before when I talked to Vika, we would touch subject and we would talk about, but end of conversation, so painful.
I knew it was painful for her, it was painful for me.
Today, hold on, dear.
Oh,
you know what?
She told me, Mom, I got to go, but I love you.
Oh, she said, I love you.
And Mary Soul's like, hold on, let me dab up my eye a little bit.
Can I get an olive?
I've got some grey goose coming out of my eye.
Sorry, that happens sometimes.
What a beautiful story.
I'm sorry.
Who's Vika?
It's almost like someone tells you, I love you for the first time.
And I've been waiting.
So long for it.
And the way she said, I love you, it was encouraging.
The way she said,
I love you, I guess.
It was so special.
Well, cheers to Vika.
Cheers to the boys.
Cheers to not dying on the way home from Spain.
Wasn't that something?
I'm glad you thought I came here to talk about your stupid family and their idiotic problems, but I'm really here to talk about what a bitch Stephanie is.
All right.
Can we just get to that?
All that screaming left me with PTSD.
I call that post-traumatic
sidecar disorder because I drank a sidecar car.
I love cockies.
I'm just trying to wedge it in.
Is there something so wrong with trying to build your thing?
That was a tough one, even though Stephanie's name begins with an S.
Can I tell you?
Traumatic staph disorder.
Oh, God, that would have been good, too.
Oh, just wait.
It's about to be PT
NSD.
NS.
Post-traumatic nautical step disorder.
It's going to be fun.
It's going to be good.
Wow.
I already feel that one catching on.
It's so catchy.
Listen, little things are becoming a big deal.
And of course, I'm specifically talking about Stephanie.
She's very short.
And I don't think it was a big deal that we didn't go to Marbella.
I mean, what?
You asked someone to be their godfather.
You planned this out for weeks and weeks in advance.
And it was very special.
You said it was one of the most important days of your life.
Not a big deal that we missed it and stayed back in Sevilla and went to the Starbucks.
You know, the Starbucks in Sevilla, they actually do a flamenco dance for you if you order a grande.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
I said, they said, what's your name for the comp?
And I said, Mari Sol.
And then when my drink was ready, they said, Mari soul.
They gave me a free tie, tile, and they put polka dots on my cup.
The lane sobbed when she gave me my drink.
She sobbed and told me not to let any man ever use me again.
Well, I feel like Stephanie felt offended that I came with her on the plane and that I took you up the fence.
Well, she's got to tone it down because everybody yells so much.
And I'm really worried about this cruise because I cannot be banished from Richard's kingdom.
You know, Julia's like, who is Richard?
He's my godfather, all right?
I'm at a party.
Okay.
It's cruise departure less than 48 hours.
Oh, God, dumb me, thinking I could put a fun cruise together after what we just went through in Spain.
I mean, that was terrible in what we went through.
You know, all the stuff that I started and then refused to engage in and and caused a big scene by not showing up for collision drama
oh my god you know with steph you know she's just she's like fedex ground her delivery is always just wrong and then it rubs everyone the wrong way and she's just you know she just hasn't perfected the the lube delivery you know she's gotta have a lube delivery see what i you know i'm saying that she's really loud okay it's like she swallowed a megaphone how hilarious was that as a joke she swallowed a megaphone huh oh god it's out of control it's so that I can't even think because that megaphone's going off, and it's got one of those buttons that sounds like a bomb is dropping.
That's the last thing I need to hear.
Is her mouth opens up and you're
boom-too stressful?
She's so busy.
She makes people uncomfortable.
Period.
End of story.
Well, I can't allow that for Marshall.
I've got to protect my peace.
I like only demure people, which is why I hang out with Alexia.
Like, what are you guys talking about?
Isn't that the second time this season where you're like, oh my God, this cast member is just too loud.
I just can't take that.
I can't take the loudness of the cast member.
I'm like, oh, please, you're on Real Housewives of Miami.
This is the loudest show on Bravo.
It really is.
So now we go to a restaurant with Kiki and her father, Lorest,
and
they are ordering sushi.
She's like, sushi, you, why can't you say sushi, dad?
He's like,
no, papa, sushi.
He's like, god damn it.
I hate coming onto her TV show.
So she's ordered salmon and, you know, he doesn't like salmon and and he doesn't want to eat this at all.
And so she's like, you're so Haitian.
And then they talk about her family stuff because her family stuff is all messed up because remember, she is having death threats from family members who think that she's actually massively famous in the United States and can afford to bring everyone from Haiti over to the U.S.
and sponsor them.
And then they start talking about how she was kicked out when she was 15 because he got a new wife that didn't want her there.
And
she wanted her kicked out.
So the dad agreed with it.
And she's like, that really hurt my feelings dad he's like well
it wasn't me just yeah but like you let her kick me out and that was terrible for me he's like okay well when are you gonna get over it she's like dad it really hurt really traumatized me and he's like yeah but look at all the cameras you have now she's like you're crazy
it's like i basically made you famous
Like, if it weren't for me, you never would have been on TV.
So you're welcome.
That's welcome to the parent thing.
Like, you traumatized me when I was young.
You wouldn't be so great today if I hadn't traumatized you.
Where's my thanks?
That's basically what it is.
And then, you know, she's, she's basically like, like, just eat the salmon, eat the tartare, try the tartare.
And he tastes it, and he likes it.
She's like, you have to try something.
Yeah.
It was nice.
So then we go to Lisa's condo and
Jodie,
Lisa and Jodie scene.
So she's like, I guess what I'm doing.
He's like,
hacking for the next trip?
I don't know.
Are you hacking for the next trip or something?
Yeah.
When are we going to get Jodi tested for tetanus?
Because it's becoming an issue now.
Like, that jaw does not move.
It is locked into place.
I worry for whatever dog bit him in the first place because, you know, that dog's walking around probably.
Jodie's got something going on there.
I'm not really sure.
But nothing moves on his face.
It's so weird.
It's so strange.
In the confessional, he does move a little bit more.
His jaw does move.
But in this scene it was legitimately wild he's literally like
teeth clenched together it's not clenched they're just stuck and his eyes are so big and he's like looking left and right like a felix the cat clock i'm like can we can we do a wellness check on this man please yeah you don't want me to put too too sexy in my suitcase right because you don't want people coming onto me right jodi it's like yeah can we just get things that cover your ankles and stuff that'll do great because i know that it could like come onto you and stuff yeah it feels like you know what jodi it's just like so weird because like i haven't been a missus now for like a day and it's just so weird like i'm not a missus like i want to be a missus you know what i mean uh-huh now you know like to somebody who wants to marry me and stuff right
uh uh-huh yeah because you know i'm like sitting here with no ring on my finger jodi see that he's like uh
uh uh-huh
all right no being in being in being in a relationship is like tough but like being in this relationship is like really really tough because like the lawsuits like never stop and like the attacks never stop and like the let the light that's on larso is like targeted at me and it's like it causes us to fight and to the point where i have to like sleep in another room because we said the fighting is so bad and then i'm like i'm gonna leave you and then you're like no i'm please don't leave and i'm like i had never really liked you in the first place i just agreed to be on the show with you so we could look like you're not alone and then you're like please no but haven't you developed feelings for me yet and i said well i mean kind of like you're kind of cool to be around but like i don't want to be with you and i go to another room and then i call up marcus and I'm like, God, my fucking, my fucking bitch girlfriend.
Am I right?
Joni, stop, stop, stop.
Too much, too much.
We're happy, America.
We're happy.
We're happy couple.
Okay, stop.
Um, so she says, Okay, because he's just silent, staring at her when she's like basically begging him to propose.
And she goes, Okay, well, I only want to get married to someone that wants to be married to me.
What do you think about that?
He's like, I just, I, uh, oh uh, uh,
and he says that he loves Lisa, but it's really hard withstanding all of this.
So basically.
Cut, cut, stop.
No, no, no, no.
America, we have a perfect relationship.
We never fight.
And if we do fight, we stay in the same bed.
Everything is good between us.
Don't you worry, everyone.
America sweethearts.
So how do you feel when you saw the email that I was divorced?
I mean, my face moves so much.
I remember the look on my face.
It was this.
Yeah, I remember that.
I remember that.
That was something, Jodi.
It was really something.
I froze.
I didn't know what to do.
Yeah, I was relieved because I thought the drama would go down.
And then it used to be like that almost all the drama came from the divorce.
And lately, it's been like half the divorce and like half the friends.
And it's just like overwhelming right now.
Yeah, but Larza got gathered the girls and she got riled them up over that stupid text message.
It was so silly.
It's like, I wasn't even angry.
I mean, this was my face.
Yeah, I've seen that one.
It's the same one you made about the divorce email.
He's like, no, that was this face.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Yeah, it's totally different.
Yeah, but you know, I had an agree.
Oh, Jody says, I had an agreement from Larza that she would no longer bring me up and cause drama.
So I texted her, Larza, what are you doing?
I thought we had an agreement.
And then we see a flashback to Larsa being like, oh my God, you guys, like he like texted me like, oh my God, I'm like, I'm terrified for my life, Jody, like texting me like.
And he's like, I'm not even like the one that initiated the fact that we're texting.
Like she's been texting me for a long time.
So I just don't understand what's wrong.
Yeah, like, how could this even happen?
And Lisa's like, imagine, imagine if I had been texting Marcus, like, what would happen?
Imagine if I texted Marcus, I was like, hey, let me come over, let me meet your dad.
Like, maybe we can hang out, introduce me to other famous people, maybe we go to a party.
Do you want to hang out?
Do you want to have dinner?
You want to go to PF Changs?
Imagine if I had texted those things theoretically.
She would be furious.
That's why I put him all in an email instead.
Stop and heard back.
So Jody's like, oh, i just don't understand why the bar for sending a message is such a big deal but russell i mean russell yelled show me respect last year and then we see russell being like larza please be respectful to my wife and jodi's like i mean why was mine so much worse i don't get it because you're being villainized because you're daring to go up against larza That's why.
And now you've hopefully learned your lesson, not to ever text Larsa again, because she will use that shit against you.
Exactly.
So now we go to this to Shoma, the wonderful world of Shoma, where nautical Steph is about to enter her nautical form.
But first, she has to have a pep talk from Anastasia or Anastasia.
Is it Anastasia or Anastasia of Beverly Hills?
Famous cosmetic tycoon.
So Stephanie's like, okay, we have to finish wrapping these gifts.
Okay.
Thank God for Anastasia Stashia because all this time that things were like sold out, like she should be here any minute to give me stuff that no one else can can get because it's sold out.
She is like, seriously me.
Like, we think the same.
And I wonder what her outfit's going to be today.
Oh my God, she's here.
She's here.
Oh, my God.
Nautical Anastasia.
She's here.
She's like, leave assistant, leave.
Nobody wants you here.
Go, go.
Anastasia, hi.
I'm so glad you're here all the way from LA.
And she's like, I know Miami is gorgeous.
By the way, I brought the beautiful sunshine.
This is what we call Anastas
Sunshine.
It's beautiful.
Followed me all the way here.
Thank God someone finally brought the sunshine to famously overcast and and rainy Miami.
So Stephanie is like, Anastasia is, I'm just going to say, I'm going to call her Anastasia because I don't know which way it is.
I'm just going to mix them both together.
Anastasia is from Anastasia Beverly Hills, and she is like the biggest makeup tycoon.
Her makeup is sold all over the world and her company is valued at over a billion dollars, which is like $5 in showman money.
So
yeah, I remember how it's really cool.
I remember because she comes up to me and she says, I love how you run your Instagram.
And I died.
I literally died.
That was back when I was Instagram.
That was back when I was Instagram staff.
And since that night, we clicked.
We just clicked.
I mean, someone who likes your Instagram, best friends, basically.
There is no way that this lady, who is a famous cosmetics person, she has a big old building in Beverly Hills.
You know, it's like right as you like are leaving Century City.
It's like right there.
There is just no way that this lady is like looking at Stephanie's Instagram and it's like, ooh, I love the way that she's running this generic Instagram full of selfies.
I need to know how she does it.
No, Stephanie totally went up to her and was like, oh my God, I'm such a big fan of all your products.
She's like, show me everything.
If you give me like a free lip gloss, I'll give you a house.
Like, that's how it happened.
Well, Anastasia just gets me and I get her because she's a businesswoman and I'm a businesswoman.
I mean, it's basically the same thing.
I sell real estate kind of sometimes and she has a huge makeup empire.
So we're basically twins.
I mean, we're straight shooters.
We talk all the time.
We both like really old guys.
And, you know,
if ever I have any problems, that's the first person that I would call.
She's not really the first person that would answer, but I do call her.
I do try.
Well, I have my assistant try.
Never answers her either.
But, you know, sisters.
So first of all, thank you so much for coming here.
Obviously, you know, the only makeup I wear is Anastasia.
Unfortunately, the only makeup that Nautical Steph wears is um just she just takes powder that she finds around the world around the around the boat and puts it on her face um that sounded like cocaine and maybe it was but i actually just meant actual talc that she calls nautical step conditioning okay
that's just nautical steph just trying to trying to just show that i've got two different personalities that like different types of things on her face anyway uh what was i saying i'm just so uh i'm just really nervous around you anastasia she's like yes i know i know and i always have extra stock for my friend i'm so happy we still have some please please let's sit on the sofa so you can enjoy my brown tweed suit with gold medals on it now should we have a talk girlfriend I'm gonna host a Christmas party for all my new girlfriends so it's gonna be really fun so I want to give them all your makeup but then also we're gonna be creating a drink at this Christmas party and all the proceeds from this special drink are going to my friend's Haiti cause so it's like you know don't hate on Haiti the cause and so like as if we sell drinks the more drinks we sell the more money we get to Haiti i'm like how big is this christmas party what are you going to send them 75 at the end of the party yeah
you're having an open you're having a closed bar at your party where you're charging people for the drinks what the fuck what are you talking about and she says she's going to turn shoma bazaar into the santa's wonderland show shoma bazaar where she went earlier in the season it was like this corporate lobby with like a coffee bar in it.
She's like, we're going to turn this corporate lobby into the most whimsical holiday experience you've ever had.
I'm like, yes, I can't wait to
see that Tremana turned into Santa's workshop.
Well, when you called me, I was in a meeting, and I have to tell you something.
Immediately, I went, she's pregnant.
I can't wait to see the baby's Instagram.
What will the engagement be like?
Can babies engage?
Do they know how to double tap?
What would the little baby look like in brown tweed business suit?
That's what I want to know.
Will the baby have a bun on its head yes or no
will there be a gold medallion that a brown scarf will come out of and go over the baby's shoulder because that's kind of a cool thing these days it's like i don't even know like a baby i mean masood's so much older than me i mean god he's like you it's like okay i get it but like he's like 24 years older so like imagine like when my baby is 10 is masood gonna even want to go to a baseball game I mean
oh absolutely he will because he doesn't understand that he is very old man if he doesn't understand he's old now he won't understand he's old in 10 years trust me so then we see uh proof that masood is young at heart is him uh talking to a dog and saying how was your day and then
peter pan syndrome am i right
um so then we cut back and um she's like i can't control a kid i mean what if they go oh well first uh anastasia is like i mean he should have three kids right now.
Doesn't he have kids?
Why are we pretending Masood doesn't have kids?
He already does have kids.
He's already done this.
It's like, oh, poor Masood never had children.
Oh, yes, he's got them.
I believe they don't speak to him right now, but he's got them.
So Stephanie's like, I can't control a kid.
I mean, what if they go to school and they're bullied?
What if they do drugs?
What if they become like absolutely crazy?
What if they want to poop on a plane?
I have not developed parent steph yet as a personality.
I'm just still working on nautical steph.
Okay, this is too much for me to do.
You know, I just turned 40 this year.
And if I'm going to do it, like, I have to freeze my eggs right now.
She's like, oh, yes, immediately.
Yes.
You know, you will be the best mom.
You will cause children to have so much therapy later in life.
And that's all a parent could ever want.
So go do this journey.
Well, it's funny you're saying that because apparently the biggest problem I have in this group is my delivery.
So let's talk about that.
She goes, yeah, well, it's because you're a boss lady.
That's why you're you're so bossy.
You know, you're boss lady, like me, Anastasia, with the lipsticks.
You are like Fergie, you're bossy bossy.
But you're a business woman.
You're surrounded by men.
And woman, woman must be like men to be surrounded by men.
She's like, yes, that's what I have been saying.
And you have to act like this because
if you show weakness, you feel like you cannot get what you want.
And I always say, you are either a shark or you're the food.
And it's business.
It's always one or the other.
Okay, that is Steph.
That's metaphor, Stephanie.
okay that's what she says you're the shark of the food yes or or something like that if you have to deal with men you have to be strong you cannot show emotion
it's like yeah oh my god thank you so much because these ladies do you let me tell you what these ladies are going to do for you they're going to make you softer she's like oh my god that sounds great this is the regular housewives has never turned anybody softer
No, no.
This so beats you to hell and then gets you paranoid about every little thing ever said and gets you searching Reddit and online all day, every day.
Okay.
This is going to make her insane.
And I'm here for the journey.
Cheers.
I know many, by the way, I also know many badass women in business who really like, yeah, in business, it's, you know, like they, they, they get tough as nails and like you just, you don't fuck with them.
But it's not that they know how to actually talk to their friends.
Like, like you could just can't keep relying on this excuse of like, I'm surrounded by men in business i have to be tough in business i have when you're dealing with a fleet of 80 construction workers you have to be tough like that's fine i'm not going to take that away but you like if you if you want to if you want to pretend to to me that you're so savvy in business and yet you can't figure out how to shift gears to deal with your friends are you really that savvy then are you really
Yeah,
so then we go to the Virgin Cruise Ship and everybody's getting out of their cars and getting on the ship and stuff.
And Mary Soul's like all right for the next two days you are all virgins Richard Branson is a miracle worker all right even you Lartha all right
five days ago we were all screaming and we were all screaming in Spain no one's getting along but like call me crazy great time to go on a cruise a good dick fixes everything that's that's Richard Richard Branson dick you see you know you know the the name Richard often gets turned into the name dick and Dick is also what you call a penis.
Does everyone following my joke here?
No.
No.
Oh, my God.
Thank God Stephanie Speedy is not involved in this trip.
Okay.
Hopefully this time around, we can have more respect for each other.
You know, unlike the last time
where I ditched a vacation, you know, a private plane early and went to do something else, which was very respectful to her.
Stephanie's like, is there a way that we could divide up the screw ships that way people can be isolated and shamed in our group?
No?
Okay, well, don't do that.
Oh, Oh, I have one question before we take off.
Are people allowed to poop here?
Because
do you have Cruzikit?
Or is that just Jeddikit that we have to be concerned with?
Okay, everybody, Nautical Steph is here.
We can do this.
So then we get the people who are like the, I guess the, what do you, what do you call these people who like
the
They come on and they do like dueling from the
from the love boat or whatever.
greeters they're greeters this is an aggressive greeter okay i will say that they are happy i've never seen a greeter like this i was like wow they really do party on this boat that greeter was like
welcome to virgin cruise lines yes i've got short shorts tall boots and a cowboy hat bitch get on here get the hell on here right now it's like oh my god that is an aggressively happy
cruise director they're having a great time so um
they
Larsa kind of gives them a look like,
what is happening on this cruise?
You're about to party, baby.
Larsa's like, wow.
They just get so excited when a famous person like me comes on board.
Wow.
So they're like, let's go, batches.
And they're like, this is going to be the most epic cruise ever.
Yes.
So then they go to this cruise and it really, like,
it's like amazing.
I'm not even going to lie.
I know, I know we did a whole thing at the top of the episode, but this this is like authentic.
Like, it's really so cool.
I was really jealous.
So, we see cutaways of the crews and drinks being poured on the bars, like done, done, done, done.
A big pool,
guests lounging, women walking around the deck, and uh, they're like, oh my god, you guys, look at the skyline.
This is incredible.
What in a crazy, incredible cruise line!
Like, uh, that's Miami, Alexia.
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I live there, I live in that place,
Yeah.
So everyone, this is the maiden voyage of the resilient lady.
That's why we're all here.
Oh, wow.
So they're like, woo, and they're like looking at the skyline.
I swear to God, this is this show.
I know I said every week, this show is so beautiful.
Like this is, they had this like sunset, like orange sky, the lights of Miami, the, the, the water, this like beautiful cruise ship.
I was like, and again, coming from
going to the Fleur-de-Lie boutique in Orange County with like Emily and Shannon, this is, we really need this.
This is like a very important, okay, I need to, I need to see Miami.
So Kiki sees that Lisa is still wearing her ring and she's like, is that the Lenny ring?
You still wear that?
She's like, on my middle finger, though.
It's like, it's not the same.
I mean, I like it.
It just means nothing to me.
It's just a, you know, wedding finger from someone who I don't speak to anymore, who I hate, wishes he was dead.
But it's not a different thing.
It's a diamond.
It's a diamond.
Just holding on.
Let me hold on.
Let me hold on to the diamond, please.
I don't think it hits your finger.
Well,
so Adriana's going to do that thing where she's going to, like, they're all having fun.
And Adriana's going to do that thing where she's like, I'm sad in the corner.
So she's all glum.
I mean, you're sitting here, like, literally on a beautiful cruise ship, looking at the gorgeous
skyline of Miami.
And you're going to sit there and be like,
oh,
what was me?
I'm like, come on, let's,
let's, let's, let's don't tell me when I'm allowed to be depressed.
No, but this is that like showy depression.
This is her being like, oh, remember when I was called old?
She's like, I'm just tired.
Nothing special.
Just tired.
I pinched my nerve.
I get it, actually.
I get her whole thing because Gertie comes over.
It's like, girl, come on.
What is wrong?
Let's talk about it.
And she's like, oh, it's just been so intense.
She's like, I know.
I'm just saying it's your birthday coming up.
I don't know why you want to deny it and pretend it's not happening she's like because there is ageism in this world and people when they find out your age they treat you different
and so she's basically saying like she doesn't like to celebrate her birthday since she turned 40 because um you know when you get older as a woman it's you know you start feeling like you're losing your worth i mean i totally get that especially for extremely beautiful people you know who are yeah like when that starts to turn and you're not really it's kind of like an identity crisis, you know, like you've always been given so much power because of one thing.
And then when that thing starts going away, it's like, well, what do, what do I have?
Am I worthy of anything beyond that?
I mean, I totally get it.
Yeah.
I think she's just having like a little pity party for herself in the corner.
I'm not saying ageism isn't a thing.
And I'm not saying like, you know, it's sometimes getting older can be depressing.
But I think in this case, I think she's just trying to like pull attention.
So Gertie's like,
hello, like, this is the stereotype, like, no one's gonna do that to you.
Okay, she's like, but there's a lot of stereotypes, and so
then Adriana's like, I know, I've just, you know, I've been exchanged for a younger model twice, you know.
So, Gertie is like, Gertie's like, okay, embrace it, Adriana.
You're fucking beautiful, life is ticking, and I should be the one to tell you that firsthand.
She's like, oh, I just feel the pressure of society.
I'm like, what now?
Like, why is she all of a sudden like going through this
crisis?
I think it's that she wants to have something.
I think she wants to do something big and special.
And they're like, no, we want to go on a cruise instead.
No, I think her birthday is coming up and she's freaking out.
I mean, I've seen it happen a lot.
I'm friends with a lot of ladies, but I see it happen all the time.
You know, it's like, oh my God, am I worth it anymore?
What is happening?
Of course, you are worth it, but you know, I don't know.
She probably doesn't have that French hooker she was dating or whatever anymore.
And
I don't know.
I get it.
People get melancholy on their birthdays you know
yeah i guess so so uh
then the uh horn blares and uh maris was like all right everyone come to my room it's the rock star sweet snacks and booze let's go cockies cockies so you go to this suite which is it has like a it has is that a hot it has like a hot tub in it and everything it was this thing was humongous it was crazy yeah this was really big had like guitars on the wall and a piano and like its own like kind of deck right
yeah it had its own deck and stuff and um a tub and a hot tub and least like what the fuck there's a hot tub just sitting there there's more food in here i mean what the hell
um kiki's like well if anyone deserves a rock star sweet if anyone deserves a rock star suit it would be me i got my father to eat salmon
like don't you mean sweet she goes uh sweet suit i don't know how so maricella's like hey everyone how sweet is my sweet right right?
I mean, after that, Radisson, right?
Oh, gosh.
Barely on a roll today, this one.
So they're all, they've got all this, like, they have a nice, like, you know, order of spread laid out and everything.
And Stephanie's like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The food, it all went down my boobs.
Isn't that hilarious?
Nautical Stephanie is having a hilarious time.
Food goes down, Nautical Stephanie's boobs, okay?
Regular Stephanie, it stays on top, but Nautical goes right down.
That's why I don't show cleavage because all the food just went down.
And Nautical Steph is like calm, cool, and collected, and she she doesn't care what falls in her boobs okay larza must find so many snacks in there larza must have like a buffet down there
well obviously yeah okay ladies obviously before we left spain we all left quite divided and i thought that night after the chaos in plaza de espaΓ±a that maybe we should do a little separate group you know we were so divided i thought the only way we can bring ourselves together is to do more divided things right so that's what we're going to do tonight
i want to bring this group together by splitting everybody up to talk shit about each other.
So we have something proper to fight about tomorrow.
Everybody get it?
It's called doing research.
It's called scene prep.
All right.
So let's, we're going to do half and half, and we're going to do lots of fun things around this boat.
And she's like, yeah, because in the plaza de EspaΓ±a, that was so embarrassing, by the way.
God, you remember when Alexia kept screaming, don't fight in front of Frankie?
She was like covering that statue.
So weird.
Really, it was.
It It was so embarrassing.
It was so embarrassing.
Oh my God, you guys.
Guess what?
We're here.
Look at this beautiful city.
Oh, my God.
This is so beautiful.
It got us here so fast.
Still Miami, honey.
Oh,
I live there.
Well, look,
none of us are allowed back in Sevilla, by the way.
No, no, uh, because actually the commissioner DM'd me and said, we're welcome anytime.
I'm pretty sure that was a Jamba Juice manager who messaged you because he messaged me too.
Wait, isn't Jamba the same as Sevilla?
Okay, Pips.
You have to work on that.
Of course, the commissioner is fucking reaching out to Larza over DMs.
I'll bet.
I'll bet he did.
So we came up with a plan because we can't just sweep it under the rung, right?
So we're going to split up.
So Pips, Keeks, G, and stuff are going to the test kitchen.
And the rest of us are going to go, you know, talk about you guys.
But you know what?
We're talking with the wrong people because, like, these aren't even the people that we're fighting with.
So we're like, why are we doing it like that?
Let me do it this way.
All right.
This is how Dick wants it.
What Dick wants, Dick gets.
Yeah.
So, okay, we don't want any conflict.
Okay.
So this is an exercise in therapy.
Even when there's nothing therapeutic about this, we're just going to talk shit about each other.
We're not going to sweep it under the rug.
You know, the more I say that, the more this sounds like it's good for us.
And we're just going to talk it out.
And we have some cockies.
We're going to have to listen to each other in order to be better.
Am I right?
And by listen to each other, I mean talk over, talk over, but in separate groups.
That sounds good, right?
Well, I'm not going to risk going to cruise jail because there's like a prison in cruises, and I'm not going to prison.
Oh, that's just if you bring drugs.
No, it's if you're unruly.
All right.
So don't be unruly.
And don't do drugs.
All right.
I will only accept cruise jail if we can isolate a member of our friend group in there.
Are we allowed to do that?
No.
Damn it.
Are you allowed to cruise jail?
Can we do a 22-minute dance party in cruise jail?
So the first group is going to be Julia, Lisa, Marisol, Alexia, and Adriana.
And they're going to go to Wake.
And then Julia and Lisa arrive first.
And Lisa is like, you know what?
You're the first one here and I'm the second one here.
Everyone else is late.
Well, guess what?
12 years of showing up late just went out the window because I was on time once.
Look at me, the new me on time.
That's right to fileti
nautical lisa is here she's on time
so um
so they're all late of course so marisol uh shows up and lisa's like thanks for joining us and drew is like yes you are forgiven to be 53 minutes late because you look so gorgeous Marisol was 53 minutes late.
That is really bad.
Okay.
You, you, you cannot, you can't, you can't come after monkey and then show up 53 minutes late yourself.
Yeah.
Um, but as they point out, this is Lisa has been late for 90,000 years.
They're late one time, but 53 is a lot.
My God.
Well, well, the worst part is that like Julia and Lisa were sitting side by side at a table.
And so they had to sit side by side for like an hour, which is like
not a, that's, that's a strange arrangement.
You know, like at that point, I'd be like, okay, you know what?
I'm going to sit across from you and Julia.
I was like, no, but producers are saying we have to sit side by side.
So they're sitting there side by side for a whole hour making small talk.
And what is, what does Lisa and Julia have to talk about?
Have they ever talked just the two of them alone?
Is this the first time we've ever seen them alone together?
I don't know.
What do you talk about with either one of them sitting there alone?
Side by side?
Yeah,
playing a piano.
Oh, well, thanks for joining us, guys, because when you guys are late, it's like cool and cute.
Marissa's like, oh, God, well, Mouse, how you doing?
You smile and we giggle and we forget about it, except for when we bring it up over and over, season after season.
Well, no one giggles anymore with me, though.
Oh, because you have a pattern.
You have a pattern with it.
I love Alexia to say that.
You have a pattern.
So sorry.
So, um,
so then they're all just talking about that.
And Marisol's like, monkey shouldn't even be talking right now.
The amount of coupons and credits I have with tardiness at this point, I mean, that's going to last me a lifetime.
So now we go to the other group of women, Kiki, Gertie, Larsa, and Stephanie at the test kitchen.
And they're all late too.
Kiki's the only one there waiting for them.
And
finally, Larsa comes and she's like, you guys like the boat?
Like it's moving like a lot.
Like, like, oh my God.
Yes, you know,
I'm used to like the boats that are like very still.
You mean your apartment?
Yeah.
Yeah, you guys, like I was walking on the deck and like one of the guys said, oh my God, get over here.
I might need to use you as a flotation device.
Was that like a compliment?
Larsa also, I think she needs to go out in public more because she's like, guys, so we all get our own tables.
Yes, you're in a restaurant.
I think she meant they all get their own chef or something because she's like, oh,
we all get like our own like, what?
Like table like?
Wait, we all get our own table like and server like?
That's crazy.
Like
yeah.
Yeah, I guess your own bars and your own bartender, and your own, your own chef or whatever.
Yeah, she says, You get your own bar.
They do have like a little like setup there.
Um, and um, and it's actually a cute little thing.
And Kiki's saying it's like it's a bummer because they are, they just have to be a small group, and it would be fun if they were like the whole big group.
So, Kiki is, you know, she's like, I just want the whole group to be there.
And
she's like, I want to know from Larsa what she wants from Lisa.
What does she need from Lisa?
And what does Stephanie want from Alexios?
That way we can all grow together.
Yeah, like, what do I do?
And
Stephanie,
well, the server comes over and Kiki's like, we'll take everything.
So they do a shot.
And now Mary Soul is like, all right, well, everyone's getting along.
It's good.
I'm glad I invited my only people that I liked.
So that was a good move.
All right, let's make it fun.
All right, listen, you know, I'm always about that.
And you fuckers fuckers aren't allowed to embarrass me and get banished from Dick's kingdom.
Nothing's more fun than Dick.
Am I right?
Yeah.
Kiki, like, are we doing the whole trip?
Like, is that what's happening?
And Kiki's there.
So Kiki's saying they're only going to do like a half trip or whatever.
Or no, I'm sorry.
They're not the, not, I thought it was the trip.
Thing.
Shots.
They're doing the whole thing, the whole shot.
Yeah, talking about shots.
So
I was like,
they just kicked
they throw her overboard halfway through the
I'm sorry, the audience is controlling this boat.
Richard Branson has asked that we throw Larsa overboard.
Okay, it's a shot.
Okay, I got totally confused.
Yeah, so doing shots
and everything, and they're all having fun.
And then Larsa starts waving a napkin in the air.
And then the other women, Adriana finally joins them, and they they greet adriana and everything and marisa goes oh wow lisa likes it you got the monkey check of approval
she may not
i fell asleep i'm not feeling great um same but you look amazing very very classy well i know how difficult it is for adriana to embrace birthday but i don't know what is happening with her with us in general i just don't know um well you're a shitty friend to her and um
so that sucks.
Yeah.
You could maybe call her or ask her if you see her struggling with something, but I guess that's probably a little hard for you to do.
Go up to the deck.
Go up to the deck and have a, have a heart-to-heart.
But like I said, she's like, what is happening to her?
I don't want more.
I'm like, you can just carve out some time to hang out with your friend and check in on her.
Yeah.
So then waiters bring some food to the other table.
to the other the test kitchen test kitchen people and kiki's like okay well listen you and Lisa, like, we spoke to you.
We went, okay, we got her to unfollow on follow Marcus and then you guys can move forward.
What else do you need?
But no, like, no, because, like, no, guys, like, no.
She likes said, like, really, like, hurtful, like, things to like me, like you guys.
Like, she said, like, she knows, like, I feel like the paparazzi that I hired to take Marcus's photos.
Like, what?
Like, what?
Like, really?
Like, I, I know a paparazzi that I can call and take a picture in the south of France, like, here, here, X, Y, Z, like this and that.
like what
like what am i am i like the cia
like am i like am i like a cia or as i call it a cyi to get what i'm gonna have like cia in a bowl and be like a super fruit i knew that like he was gonna be like outside at a pool and doing like what like i'm supposed to just know that do you know what she is she's like Coco for Cocoa Puffs like.
Yeah, like I'm not like that.
Like it hurt me to like my bones like for here to hear her say that I would do something like that.
Like I'm capable.
Like no one has ever like called me capable before you guys.
So whatever.
So then we go back to Wake and Alexis like, by the way, like Lisa, like you guys haven't spoken in months.
She was like, yeah, it's gotten really out of hand.
I mean, like, you let it go too far, too long.
Okay.
You disrespected her.
You know, like, I feel like instead of like, you know, like with, like, with Jodi, like, you know, when he texted her in that place, like, he shouldn't have done that.
She's like, Jodi never did nothing wrong never
she texted jodi first but you know what she's on only fans and she's probably talking to people's husbands so please don't pretend to be a victim
wow
it didn't really have anything to do with the situation but it's a fun pot shot
that was funny yeah
she's like all he did was be friends with marcus so then we go back to the other group and larsa's like yeah i would just like appreciate like it like if she was some have some like account like ability like like I have no problem apologizing but like when I called her a bitch in her house like I owned up to it I was like hey I'm sorry I called you a bitch in your house like I shouldn't have called a bitch a bitch in her like bitch like house like bitch
well if she apologized to you then you guys can at least like try to take a step to move forward my apology is here and her apology needs to be like up here Okay, which is funny because in in life, I'm up here and she's down here, Kelly Bensimone.
And Curtis like, I suggest muzzles for both of them.
You get a muzzle, you get a muzzle.
That's right, honey.
Muzzles that are goodified, goodified muzzles for both of you.
So back,
not a bad observation.
Mary's soul's like, all right, why do we need to move forward so we can fix them?
I just need to like leave Jody out of it.
Well, Jody needs to leave himself out of it too, because that's a problem, Lisa.
Okay, like, just accept it.
It's like a problem.
Just accept it.
keep it between her and I.
And Adriana's like, guys, we're going around in circles like the sun around the earth.
Or the earth around the sun.
Another year gone by.
We are going around in circles like I'm going around like circle of drain.
Could we please?
Like going around like circles like the ones that are growing bigger under my eyes.
So
they agree that they need to make up and put their egos aside.
And Lisa and Marisa goes, well, I don't think you're going to be our best friend again because stephanie's our new best friend now so well i don't even like to throw that word around best friend best friend i mean what what's a best friend she's my best friend she's my what are we five what are we on a playground i mean come on
i feel like i'm on a playground all the time am i right i'm on dick's playground right now right guys right dick right now So then back to the test kitchen.
Kiki's like, Stephanie, why are you so quiet tonight?
She's like, oh, well, I told you I'm nautical Steph tonight.
I'm really making this happen.
Like, I already can tell America loves this whole thing.
Nautical Steph, hilarious.
Nautical Steph is very demure and very mindful.
She's chill.
Okay.
And I'm just concerned.
And yeah, Gertie says, yes,
she's so mindful.
But I'm concerned as to how long Nautical Steph might be with us, depending on the drama.
We'll see.
I don't know about Nautical Steph.
Jury's out on Nautical Steph.
You get a Nautical Steph.
You get a Nautical.
I don't know.
I'll do it again.
I'll do it again.
Stephanie is pretending to have introspection here because she says, like, you know, my sisters say I have bad delivery and now my friends say I have bad delivery.
So I'm going to try really hard to improve my delivery.
You're not going to try really hard.
You're just going to acknowledge those things as like some sense of immunity, but you're just going to still be the same land steph as you are nautical stuff.
The delivery can improve, but the package kind of still sucks.
Like, I think you should work on the package.
Yeah.
The delivery is the least out of problems.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you still get poop in a box, it doesn't matter what time it arrives.
It's still poop in in a box.
So she says that she's like, I mean, look, if there's constructive criticism, I'm open to hearing it, but I'm not accepting that because my delivery was bad.
I was wrong for what happened in Spain.
Okay, Nautical Steph has left the building.
She's gone.
Where did Nautical Steph go?
She's gone.
Nautical Steph has gone overboard.
So
Curtie,
take your shot.
She was hilarious.
Stephanie, take your shot, like.
Take your shot, like.
and stephanie's like are you gonna take are you gonna take the rest of yours it's like come like come on do the shot shot shot shot shot so now it's like two hours and five tequila shots later and we're in marisol's suite and uh julian alexia and marisol are facetiming with larsa uh from marisol's room and alexia she's like oh so are you in bed what like what are you showing me are those your soft legs it's like i need to take photos for only fans so i can pay the bills like legs for only fans like
so then marisol's like pamps pimps did you have some shots tonight?
Because you are very frisky tonight, Pamps.
Come on, look at her.
Look how frisky Pimps is.
Frisky Pimps.
Yeah, like I'm making like about OnlyFans videos.
Like I'm gonna put out my boobs right now.
She just like pulls out her boobs on FaceTime.
I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe she did that right now on the FaceTime.
That's like crazy.
I love Adriana, like, like, not Adriana, Alexia, like, cups, like, the phone to hide it from the camera.
And then she looks at the camera like, oh, my God, you're not getting this, are you?
Like, oh, my God.
She's like, don't look.
Don't Don't look at the boob.
Don't look at the boob.
So now the next morning, Stephanie's skipping down the hallway in her derobics outfit to go to Marisol's suite.
So she's like, oh, my God, this room is so nice in the daytime.
Cause sometimes things are beautiful in the night, but they're not in the morning.
No, that's true.
I mean, it's like me, right?
Okay.
Next up, the cat skills.
I feel like we should just lay out here and just skip the exercise entirely.
She's like, no, Marisol.
No, I got these spandex from Canada.
We're going going to wear them.
She's like, okay, well, I hate, I hate exercise.
Like, well, what is this?
Like, I like fat in this.
I'm not going to come out.
I'm not going to do it.
Come on, Stephanie.
Stop it.
I don't hate anything more in the world than I hate exercise.
I will not do it.
I would rather starve to death than do exercise.
And I like that.
Stick to your guns, girl.
Stick to your guns.
So let's get to what we're really here to talk about.
Fighting with dinner.
So, dinner.
So, Marisel's like, Yeah, our dinner was gone.
We're just talking to Lisa about fixing things with Larsa.
She's, yeah, well, we had the same conversation with Larsa, and we obviously got to the topic of Alexi and I.
So, it's my personality.
Like, I go from zero to a hundred because I have no idea what the hell I'm saying because I get so angry.
Oh, okay, God.
So, you're not responsible for anything that you say because you get angry.
Is that what you're saying?
Well, look, I was very, very, very heartbroken about what happened
that night at dinner.
And I was like clearly distraught.
It was not nautical Steph.
It was distraught Steph.
And I was really upset and I was crying and it was rough on me.
And so then she's talking about the dinner.
Can I just point out, nothing happened to Stephanie at that dinner?
Nothing.
Nothing.
It wasn't about her at all.
She just ran out crying to like have a scene.
She's ridiculous.
Yes.
Like I was so distraught.
And she's going to act like it was, she was distraught from the dinner where nothing happened to her, That that's why she was acting over the top with the plane back at the hotel lobby.
I'm like, that is not really, that does not make sense.
It doesn't make sense.
Like, I can't have people fighting on the Shoma plane.
So she's like, well, and when I got into the car with you, I thought it was a safe space.
She's like, oh, there are no safe spaces in this group.
You never know.
We're going to talk shit about you no matter what happens.
All right.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, but in my mind, I thought, for sure, like Larsa and Marisol, they're going to be like my safe space.
Like when I got on that bus, like on the way to the airport, Julia, I was like, wait, wait.
Why are Alexia and Marisol like not coming?
A safe space, right?
Don't we have safe space?
And then we see flashback to that whole fiasco.
And Stephanie's like, nobody told me that you guys were mad at me.
Okay.
Marisol goes, well, I'm not really mad at you.
I really like you and I want to like you for you.
You just, you don't have to offer me anything.
I don't know how much that it costs.
I don't want to know how much it costs.
You know, just put me on the plane and say, get me the dick, right?
Well, I'm sorry that it has come across like I dangle my stuff because that was never my intention, you know, and I don't remember saying what the cost was.
I think it was Larsa, you know, who probably heard it from me when I said what the cost was.
But the point of it is Julia was the one who said, Alexi and Mary Sol feel like if they break one of your rules, you're going to leave them stranded.
And she goes, well, you know, I had a list.
You know, I know how you love a list.
I do love lists.
I do love lists.
List definitely.
Yeah, List List Stephanie loves list.
Yeah.
I just, I didn't know it was so bad that you guys didn't want to, that you guys didn't want to feel a certain way that like you'd rather just like not get on.
She's like, well, that was me.
That was me who didn't want to get on because like I'm the one who didn't want to go.
And then I said to Alexia, I was like, you can go.
I mean, I'll stay behind.
I mean, what am I?
Just your psyche.
You just leave me in the dust.
I go to everything you go to.
You want to stay back with me?
And like, no, no pressure, bro.
But like later on, I was like, you know, you haven't had a good day here.
And like, you want to stay behind with me?
We can walk around Sevilla.
You know, let's get some fresh air.
Let's do some shopping.
Let's go to, to let's go to subway over there get you know see what their foot lungs are like here in sevilla you know and she's like yeah okay i'll stay with you that's all it was So now Stephanie is not really getting a fight from Mariusol because Marius Sol's like very kind of nicely sticking to her guns.
She's like, I'm not taking back anything that I said.
She's like, I'm not taking back anything I said about you.
And I'm not taking back the fact that I'm not going to apologize to you for not going on your fucking plane.
So I don't know what you want from me.
But she's saying it in a very nice way.
So Stephanie's not getting her fight.
So she's like, okay, well, that's great.
Then Julia should have said that.
But Julia said to me in front of the whole bus that you said I'm bossy and that if you, if anyone breaks the rules, you're going to leave them stranded.
And she's like, well, I mean, Mary Sol just doesn't really say this, but you did say that, Stephanie.
Like you were being bossy and you were dangling the plane and you were going to kick people off.
So why are you going to try and make it turn?
Why are you going to make it turn now that this is all Julia's fault for how she relayed the information?
It's not.
The information was relayed properly.
You're an asshole and you're dangling the old man ball plane over people's heads and they don't want to put up with that shit.
What are you not hearing?
Yeah, I mean, the words came out of your mouth that you said, we'll leave them behind and they can drive.
It's a three-hour drive.
Now, Marisol,
she should have said, don't be like that.
That's not how we act in this group.
Like, you can't offer a flight and then say people will be left behind.
Like, Marisol instead just was like, okay, and then just like, doesn't show up the next day.
So Marisol is also being very passive-aggressive.
Stephanie committed the crime, but Marisol, I think, was being kind of, I don't know what it is.
Is it passive, aggressive, fake, whatever it is?
But Marisol could have also just been like, hey, lady, you're new to this group, but we don't do, we don't do that with our cast members unless it's monk.
So Marisol goes, well, I was worried too.
You know, Alexia, you know, you would have another pft.
And then we'd be stranded.
And then that was on the list.
Listen, I knew you weren't going to like it that we stayed behind.
We didn't get a chance to talk about it because, you know, we never get a chance to talk to you.
and everything blew up in La Plaza.
And then I was going to tell you, you know, I was, as Larsa would say, X, Y, and Z.
And I didn't have a problem.
Like, I like you.
I want to be friends with you.
Okay.
Let's have a new start, Mighty Mouse.
New start.
New start.
And it's just funny because Stephanie's just sitting there blinking at her.
Like, this woman is not like giving me an inch here.
She was not, she was not budging, but she was saying it very nice.
And Stephanie just blinked.
So finally, Maricella's just like, all right, all right.
You know what?
New start, Mighty Mouse.
She's okay.
Well, new start, Mighty mouse and so they hug but then we see eight hours later and they're in a mudroom and alexia is like just so you know marisol had way more other things that really bothered marisol okay there was like a whole list
i just love like marisol is so loyal to alexia but alexia just like chucks marisol under the bus and then immediately
Yeah, and Stephanie's like, and then like, no, then the next day, and Stephanie's saying like, I feel like Marisol is a jealous demon who disguised herself as a very loyal friend.
And I know I'm going up, I know what I'm going up against now.
And I have a message for you.
The message is: if you're gonna come for me, you better hit a bullseye because when it's my turn, I don't miss.
Oh my gosh.
Fun times.
Fun times.
Put these ladies on a boat.
That's always gonna be a wild time.
Thank you, everyone, for listening.
We appreciate you.
And definitely tune in to Crappy Hour later tonight.
And we will catch you on the next episode.
Bye, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
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