#3013 RHOC S19E12 Part 2: Self Defense Classless

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap.

If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed it's right there and without further ado let's get right back into the recap so then we go to united defense tactical and gretchen arrives in some weird jumpsuit with a leather belt and a crazy braid you know how i was talking on salt lake city this week about all the bad hair in that party that they went to at amy steele's house and how there was that lady with giant gumdrop hair like Republican, like, I guess not Republican, but like news lady.

Yeah, like Fox News Lady helmet helmet hair, but then a big long braid. Gretchen has that hair today.
Is that just the thing that they're doing now? Is that in the blonde religion?

Are gum drops back in the blonde religion?

Gum

braids. It's weird.
So she comes in looking crazy and she's like, yeah, I'm trying to look like, what do you call her name? Laura Croft. Yeah, I want to call her Kraft because that's how I am.

I'm dumb, so I want to say craft.

Only she would think it's really funny to call someone laura craft instead of laura croft oh my god isn't that funny i said laura craft

you know my intent was my intent wasn't to create a costume out of my look for today but then when i started doing it i was like i look like laura croft or is it craft

however i just went with it Yeah,

so, um, she's very excited, you know, because we need to learn to defend ourselves and be confident. And there's so much shit that women go through, which is all true, obviously.

But she says, I have seven counts against an individual, including stalking and harassment. So I've been in this situation before, which is why Slade wanted me to come here to begin with.

So is she talking about Jay? Because that's the lawsuit, right? Because it says, there's a headline and it says, Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen Rossi, awarded $500,000 in lawsuit.

So that was Jay, right?

Jay who?

The guy that she was accused of sleeping with in Bass Lake. Oh, geez.

Wow.

Lawsuit. I think that's that's who it was.

The Real House Wester of Orange County filed her suit against former acquaintance Jay Fotoglo in 2010 when she claimed he lied about her being unfaithful to her late fiancé Jeff.

I was hoping it'd be Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model.

Miss Jay's like, I'm not stalking you. I'm just trying to get you to wear something better.
Oh my gosh. So she's saying this guy was lying about having an affair with her.
Oh, wow. That's crazy.

She also claimed he stole her personal property, including nude photos, and released online and threatened her.

They awarded Rossi 523,250, and he filed for bankruptcy in 2012 and attempted to have the judgment discharged. Now,

oh, wow. Damn.
I didn't know all that stuff happened. That's crazy.

Yeah. I didn't know either.
I guess

we know.

Welcome to your education. Watch what crappiness.
Yeah. You didn't have your Google alert set for Gretchen Rossi News.
Kind of forgot.

So she has been in a scary situation. So is the self-defense class.
Okay. So she's inviting everybody to do this thing.
And we see

everybody getting the invite call, you know, housewives trope, where we see everybody's reaction to the call, the invite.

And so Gretchen invites Heather. And Heather's like, this is so good.

You know who needs that? Shannon. Shannon needs self-defense.
I mean, God bless her. She's just being attacked by carbs all day long.

All day.

Listen, anytime someone raises a hand to me, I just push them down the staircase, back into the basement.

So then

actually we find out it's not a joke. Actually, I don't remember this part.
Sorry, I was making a joke out of it because we find out

there's a clip of the lie detector party where Gina says there's somebody literally fucking stalking Shannon and Shannon's like targeting me. You know, he's, he's stalking me.
I forgot about that.

Starting to make jokes. Geez, that's dark.
I don't remember that. Yeah, it is really dark.

So, honey, you are, you are like Retchen herself. You are like evil incarnate as per petty.
Wow. You made me do it.
You made me do it, Slane.

It is scary. And it's like, it's, it's like, people need to really just like settle down on the stalking front.
Like, get this scary.

Got a hopping. I'm going Shannon around.

Please. It's terrible.
It's like just someone sitting out in such a vibe. The hut's creepy.
So then,

yeah. So then this guy's like, oh, yeah, it's important for people to understand.
They're not prepared because people train to be prepared. So today, we're doing reality awareness.

So that's what we're going to work on today.

Yeah.

So

people are going to show up. And so everyone's like arriving in cars.
Like Shannon, like Jen comes to pick up Shannon and Shannon is like in character as Madam Swim.

Because remember that hilarious character last season.

And by the way, I just want to say, as long as we're going down, my earlier thing about Gina and Emily, about how even Lydia has moments, even we can even think of Lydia anytime.

I cannot tell you how many times I think about Lydia being in drag as Charlie Chaplin. I'm being horrified.
She's like, I'm Christian. I can't go to Hamburger Mary's.

That image will haunt me for the rest of my life in that little hat. Oh, like, how can you not go to a place literally named after Jesus' mother?

Yep. My, my, um, yeah, my, my brain, my leap there was Shannon as Madame Swim.

And then I thought of Shannon dressing up as Brett Michaels and how she was as Brett Michaels walking with Lydia as Charlie Chaplin.

That was, if anyone's wondering why I just brought that up out of nowhere, I realized it made sense in my brain and probably to no one else who was listening.

Well, it's interesting because you know who else remembered that clip? God this week when he didn't rapture her ass. He remembered.

God remembers. Okay.

So Shanna's like, wow, who does your hair? It looks great, Jen. It looks just like Tamara's.
She's like, oh, it's this new person. I don't, I don't really get down with this kind of hair.

I mean, this is a little sloppy for me. She's like, oh, it's very bohemian.
Very bohem. Delicious work on top of your head.
I just love it.

Thank you so much. I don't know what that word means, but thank you so much.

Then Gina is like, I didn't wear makeup today. It's not like a physical day.
Like, I don't care. So they're all driving, et cetera.
They're heading towards it.

And they're all wondering, like, what could it be? And Tamara's saying it's probably, if Gretchen's doing it, there's probably a costume involved. Sure.
And

Lara.

And Shannon's like, well, if this is a panic room, I will not do it. I will not do it.
And Jen goes, what do you do in a panic room? Panic?

A panic room. I love that they're just going to put them in a panic room and terrify them.
I love that Jen is like... Oh, I love the idea that there's a room you can go into just to panic.

It's really helpful with this wedding coming up. A panic room, or as Shannon calls them, rooms.

So

they're trying to guess what it is. And they start arriving.
And Emily walks in and sees Gretchen and goes, what the hell are you wearing? Jesus Christ.

Listen, Emily talking about someone's fashion is like Gretchen talking about someone singing. Okay.
You don't don't do it

yeah the fact that emily gets in here in her full-on spaghetti strap

wrestler look that she's been rocking and she's like she looks like amazon laura croft it's like uh

maybe talk maybe let's let's hello amazon you're calling amazon kettle okay

both delivered in a day with amazon prime so um she could have used some of tamara's fashion,

fashion school experience.

But yeah, this is what happens now that Tamara didn't go to FIT.

So, Gretchen's like, Yeah, it's my tomb raider, look, girl. And she goes, What are you just, you just sprung that hairstyle on your hairstylist? That's torture.
Why would you do that?

So, then, um, Heather's like, oh, wow, you're like G.I. Jane, a role that I was up for that that slut Demi took from me.
Well, she sure learned her lesson.

look at her nowhere

look at her oscar loser demi moore

demi model groundlings class more

demi less

demi less

last time i checked she wasn't the star of a musical in the groundlings

i mean she's gonna use that hair as a weapon maybe she's gonna wrap her hair around tamara's throat

You get paid for this.

So then Gretchen's like, yeah, I'm so excited for you to see it because we've all been around in situations that can be sketchy times.

And like, especially where we live in the Orange County crime capital of the world.

And Emily's like, have you seen where Heather lives? And like, Heather doesn't even try to hide it. She tells us, I'm on the 38th floor and I've got like 12 security downstairs.
I feel pretty good.

One time Richard Marks burst through and he even got up to the 17th floor, but he was intercepted and sent back to Orange County.

Thank God. He was beheaded by three different Alfredos.

So

she literally is like the final boss in the video game. She's like, you have to go through 38 floors to get to me and you're not going to be able to make it.
Sorry. Yeah.

She is kind of like the final boss in a video game I played. That blonde girl, The Call of the Mountains.
What is it called? Okay, I'm going to look it up. You keep talking.
Yeah.

uh i'm i'm not sure but um gretchen's like well we have a little surprise set up for the next ladies that are arriving next so um basically there's like a little bit of a fun candid camera moment where they're gonna set up a fake carjacking so the the first group of ladies which is like tamara and gina and like uh maybe someone else um they show up and they are like sort of parked and the windows are down and this guy comes over and he's like spin any change you guys got any change?

Tamara's like, No, sorry.

And the guy's like, Oh, wow, that's a nice car. I'm so freaking, I'm so fucking sick of you people lying.
I know you got change. It's like foody fucking time today.

And Tamara, she skedaddles out of there. So she like jumps across the car on the inside in a way that I didn't even know you could move inside a car.
And she's like, get away from me.

She literally pushes herself behind Gina, like to throw Gina in the line of danger. I mean,

this was a horrible thing to do to anybody, by the way. I didn't like this, this whole like, let's pretend they're being carjacked.
That's not cool. I mean,

why would the producers do that? Do you not remember the Vanderpump Rules cop scene calling the cop? It's just, I didn't like this. I didn't like it at all.

But it was worth it just to see how Tamara would react in that situation, just throwing people overboard. Fucking Tamara.

Well, it's, you know, normally, most people would say it's cowardly to do that, but I think it was actually a pretty good technique because I think anytime you like put Gina in front of a would-be mugger, they'd be like, Oh, oh, I, yeah, there's nothing in those pockets.

We'll go on. We'll go on.

We believe you. We believe you.
There's nothing in your pockets.

Swani, do you want some Carabella skin care? No, ma'am. No, it's okay.

So

the guy's like, ha ha, ladies, welcome to United Defense Tactical. And Gina goes, that is not funny.
That is not funny. You're a very scary gentleman.

Gretchen's like, she's a scary gentleman.

So they go in and they were like, they start yelling at the driver. Gina's like, Colleen, you weren't driving the car away.
Like, what the hell, Colleen?

And Colleen's like, they told me not to say anything. Colleen, you know, Colleen must have loved this.
We've seen Colleen over the years. She has to deal with these bitches all the time.

She's like, you know what? This is the best day I ever had at work watching them get scared like that.

This is literally what I would do if they were getting robbed right now. I would just sit here.
Just see.

Also, what's weird about this is this situation isn't even ever addressed in the show. Like, what would you do if someone was trying to get to you through a window?

Like, you can't use any of the tactics that they learned today in this situation, but whatever.

I love that none of them had the instinct to roll up their window, by the way. They're all like, oh, look, there's a crazy man coming.
And they just sat there with their window open.

Well, don't, don't, don't roll it up. He might want our autograph.
Okay, let's just wait and see.

Oh, there's a lot of toxins in here, so we have to have the window down. What if I had a heart attack? I would have sued the fuck out of Gretchen.
I thought I wouldn't have gotten anything.

Maybe a bag of groceries and a subscription to FaceTune and a little baby with an eraser face.

It's fair. Fair point by Tamara.

So Gretchen's like, I didn't want that. Like, I'm still like shaking.

Oh, my God. And Heather's like, I thought you were going to poop.

Kind of like Tammy Moore when she lost the Oscar.

G.I. Jane, more like G.I.
loser.

Why didn't Heather and Emily get jacked, by the way?

I think that they would have worried what they really would have done because I feel like Emily probably has a gun in her purse and Heather would have just started throwing Alfredos at them.

There would have been a lot of people. She would have opened a trunk and just Alfredos would have come out with like ninja stars and started like pelting the guy.

Those crab hands that have gotten to work

she would have been like if you ever try to cardjack me or my friends again it will cost you a lot

i'm not carjacking either

oh so at the self-defense okay so now we're back at the studio and um emily's like shannon's next if you guys want to watch this is gonna be great

So Shannon, they do the same thing. And Shannon's like, where are we? And Jen goes, I think that man is digging in the trash can.
And Shannon's like, What?

Why? Which also shows how

little exposure they have to unhoused people because, like, you know, when you like, that's what you see, and you don't even need to point it out.

You know, it's not like, oh my God, look, there's someone digging in the trash.

Can you believe it? Shannon is literally more horrified that the person is digging through the trash than she is at getting carjacked.

I know that they're just like really sheltered. So then he's like,

that's a nice ride, homie. You guys got any change? Oh, well, no, I don't.
I have been working on myself. So in many ways, I do have change.

I am change and it's been a long process, but I'm proud of the work I've done. And

I'm fine being single. I am fine being single.
Thank you. Thank you for asking.
Yes,

I have had a rough, a rough go of it. And,

you know, I guess, I guess I have some change, which is that I used to be married. And then he wound up walking on the beach with a slot.
And now I don't have a husband anymore.

So, yes, I do have change in my life. I'll tell you how much I've changed.
Would you like to have dinner as friends? You do not have to be intimate with me.

You don't want to. I have a lot of male friends.
A lot of male friends.

Oh, no, I do have change in that I now am aware of the patterns of hurricanes and if they may be going very far inland and perhaps imperiling a lover's house. So yes, I guess that's change.

I'm sorry, Earl. My name's not Earl Lady.
Well, I'm practicing it's called change

do you want me to change or not so

i do have some vegetables do you do you eat vegetables i do well see there we go and improve finally a real man around here i will marry you i will marry you

so he's like whoa you got a fucking car like this you don't have any money for me what are you shitting me you don't give me your fucking phones give me your phones give me that shit give me your phone lady and she's like what the hell are you doing how dare you sir

How dare you propose some sort of socialist agenda right now?

Just because I love it. I don't have to share it with you.
I thought Obama got them phones.

So the guy's like, are you prepared to die over that phone? Are you prepared to fucking die today?

I actually believe I'm going to die every day. It's very scary out there.
I have a little bit of a cough, and I'm concerned that this may be the last day I breathe, actually. Fool me once.

Well, I will either be killed by you in this car or killed by the filters that apparently haven't been changed in this car.

Well, apparently, Dr. Moon says I have some

psychological debris in my anus at the moment. So, I think I have a good three hours left on this earth.
So, I am prepared to die.

Actually, I've been going through it all day and I've settled my things. And yes, I am.
I've died three times just on the way over here. So, you can't scare me.
You cannot scare me.

So she actually stays really calm. And he's like, are you prepared to die over that phone? And she goes, oh, this is part of the, that's part of the show.
This is part of the show.

He's an actor. He's an actor.
You're doing a great job. You're doing a great job.

Question.

Are you

are you able to actually help me get this debris out of my asshole?

I really wasn't joking about that part.

So John's like, wow, now all of a sudden Shannon is calm, cool, and collected. So what we need to do to calm her down is carjack her.
Like, what do we need to do with her?

She's like, well, I was functioning frozen. Is that a thing? I thought, can I kick his face? No, because they'll probably drag me out of the car.
I can't kick his face. Here's what I'll do.

I'll be extremely polite to him. And it worked.
It worked.

So now everyone comes inside and it's like, everyone, that scary carjacker, that's Josh. He's one of our instructors.
Like, oh, very good work. You were very good.
Very good. I really appreciate you.

So then he does a spiel about training, self-defense, and how important it is. And so, one group is going to go do a self-defense class.
The other group is going to go to a shooting range.

That way, you all can learn the skills to save yourselves. But more importantly, you can gossip about the other group behind their backs.
Okay, enjoy. Yeah.

We're ready for some self-defense, guys.

What are those

plastic men?

And so they teach them some fighting stuff. And

Gina is like, you know, I've never taken self-defense class before. But like, I know, you know, because I know I'm going to die.
Like, what are you going to do?

Like, if a man comes at you, just say, wait, sir, let me try my move. No, you're fucking dead.
Well, wait

attitude, Gina.

Let me try my move. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

So they do some fighting and stuff. And then,

let's see, Heather's like, I really don't see myself being a hand-to-hand combat kind of a girl. You know, I just wear Alfredo jackets.

You know, I just, anywhere that looks dangerous, I'm just shielded by Alfredos.

Well, one thing I always do is I carry a small little bowl in my vest. That way, if I make it to Runya to go safely, I can have someone send it along to Nobu.

But if I get attacked, I can hit them with the bull. It's very helpful.

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So then we see the firing range room, and they're going to shoot. They're not getting real guns.
They're getting projectile guns. Okay.

So Jen's like, well, I was raised in Oklahoma, but I never shot a gun. You know,

it's like being out in the wild west shooting guns and riding horses. Well, it wasn't.
I'm good with a water gun, though. My aim's, it's great.
Water gun. Locked and loaded.
Thank you.

Thank you so much for laughing at that. Thank you guys.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
So Emily's like, my shooting sucks. I can't see anything.
I need readers.

So now, and Tamara goes up there and she shoots like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. She's a very good shooter.
And she's like, I don't know why any of the women would be surprised that I'm a good shot.

I'm a snapper with my words. So target shooting.
It's a breeze, bitch.

So they're all Tamara's actually really good. It's hilarious.
I was laughing out loud at this part because everyone else is like, I'm a girl. I don't know how to hold a gun.
I can't see anything.

And Shannon gets up there and she's like, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,

excuse me, they're all dead. By the end, it's like all of them are lying down dead.

She just, it's like, she just has to envision like several different mannequins wearing non-leopard print. She's like, what? Disgusting.
Kill it, kill it, kill it, kill it.

She's like, Quinton, Alexis, Lizzie.

Nathan demolished. She goes, the old guy from the Traitors who I said had asthma.
Kill him.

So now it's talking time, and the instructor's like, okay, as is totally normal on gun ranges, we're just going to all leave you here with loaded weapons to fight it out. Okay, see you later.

See you later. Okay, so

where are we? Where are we? We've split up, but where is Ben in his notes? That's a great question. In the gym.
So Shannon's like, wow, thank you for scaring the shit out of me today, Gretchen.

She's like, sorry. You know what? I forgot to ask wes like what would we do if we were getting carjacked jenny goes well if i had cash i would have given him money i mean

what are you gonna do and i just i would listen if i had cash i'd just be i would just call him hey mr john jansen here's some money because this is what i do i just give men money okay and then i'd get sued by him later on for 75 000

Gina's like, would you like my Debicon? Because like you can do it yourself, you know, like, I'll give you my pen. It's like looking at a phone have those letters on it just spell out i feel bad

well it's funny now but it was not funny then it was not funny then although i do have a new subscriber to the real real

it was it was not funny um but i i we are going to be going on a date afterwards yes um so gretcha's like how was your guys trip and it was fun and heather was like oh so remember I said to you on the phone by 1 a.m., you'll be in the hot tub with Tamara going, I love you.

Remember I said that? And then I said, I wonder what Demi Moore is doing. Maybe she's cradling her Oscar to bed.
And then I said, just kidding, she lost it. Remember I said that part two?

Were people listening to me? No.

Shannon's like, well, that is not how it happened. Okay.

And then in the firing room where the other girls are, Emily's like, oh, I was Temecula. Okay, I'm glad you had fun.
So we had some bumps because guess what? I heard about you.

And then we go back to the other girls and Gina's like, yeah, like she was sharing, you know, Shannon was sharing things about her childhood and her parents and like her grandpa's avocado mountain.

It's really good. Yeah, I said my parents had a tumultuous relationship.
And then Tamara tuned in to say, oh, well, we know your dad's an alcoholic, you loser drunk.

Well, that's not exactly how she said that oh well okay what what did she say didn't your dad have a problem with drinking or something oh well same thing

well that much different thanks a lot well i mean that's some fear of tiemra

that shannon's holding on to this if anything tiamra was like trying to support her because when you look at tiamra judge you think oh my god like what a supportive person and i definitely think that like shannon is like creating a mole out of a out of a out of a mountain of a mole she took a mountain and she shaped the mountain into a mole, and then she put the, the mole on a hill, and it's like a mountain hill out of a mole.

You know, I think she's doing that wrong.

Gina, you can't even do the old molehill shtick. That's just not a matter.
It's so sad. It's just so sad.
It's like, yeah, like, she can't even do the mountain out of a molehill.

Like, I'm worried for, I'm worried for Shannon. I'm worried.
Almocada was on a molehill once.

So then back in the other room, Emily is like, well,

you know what? I think that with with her, you're just not allowed to have an opinion. Okay, you're not in that position.
She goes, yeah, Gina said that. Gina said that to you.

You know, she's just going to be pissed no matter what. Okay, we just need to hang one of those signs up that says blank days since incident.
And at this point, we would just say zero.

We could also say, blank days since someone pulled a turkey out of their pocket. And look, turkey sandwich, zero.

well did you guys have fun on your trip and heather's like we went to the abbey it's a homosexual place very cool among the youths the youths

lots of homosexuals we listened to chappelle rowan and she was lovely and hilarious i am such a stanley And they're like, oh, well, that's fun.

Well, Gretcher's got loose lips when she drinks a lot of fireball.

What is that supposed to mean?

that's supposed to mean lose lips what that's supposed to be me why why are you bringing up my high school nickname no i mean she talks a lot she started telling us that you recorded a song oh oh yeah yeah well i was in the recording studio but it was just in the house you know like a house and we were hanging out we were in the house we were drinking and it was right after i separated from simon and then just started dating eddie i was like oh that's interesting how she's like making sure the timeline is that she was between relationships so i wonder if this was true because it was pretty, she was like, oh yeah, I remember that.

I was separated and maybe just met Eddie one time on a thing.

That was 15 years ago. So what? What about it? And Jen's like, you have a pop song, Tamara? Oh, my God.
I need a pop song too. I need a pop song.

Yeah, we were just joking around. I'm going to write a pop song called Thank You So Much.
Thank you.

I'm going to have a pop song called Collateral Damage. It'll just be my daughter crying on the trap.

Yeah, we were just messing around.

We were messing around. Yeah, just singing songs, you know.

I don't know how, I don't know who would have gotten it, but like, I don't know, maybe it was someone who was six degrees of Kevin Bacon away or maybe 98 degrees away. Who knows?

But they wouldn't, I don't know how they would have gotten it. I don't even have it.

So she says that she was confronted by somebody from a boy band band that lived in her neighborhood. Confronted by

next on 48 Hours.

Confronted by a boy band member starring Tamara Judge. And I thought, I'll give it my all.
Well, it wasn't good at all. So I'm like, nope, I'm not embarrassing myself.

Maybe you should just do it alone. I'm used to embarrassing myself with my speaking voice.

Oh my God. Well, then she says that like Slade has a copy, he has a copy.
Well, of course he has.

Yeah, so then he proceeded to say that you had an affair and an affair with both brothers of nelson while bb backwatch

i can't believe that

what the

what the fuck

So in the other room, Emily's like, yeah, apparently, oh no, sorry, still the same room.

In our recording studio, you recorded a song, but then you and him had sex, and it ended up being on this recording. And Slade has a copy of the recording.
She's like, oh, bring it.

I'd love to hear it. I'd love to hear it.

I wish, I feel like the more normal response would be like, that doesn't even make sense.

It's like the strangest rumor. Like they had, I mean, the last, well, actually, it's not that strange because it did happen to Jax Taylor, but that's also Jax Taylor.

So Tamara's like, well, you got to give it credit. He desired to try to make me look bad.

She's just so obsessed with my life and what I have and what she doesn't have that she just wants to tear me down.

So Jen's like, well, I have gotten a note to Gretchen. And last thing she ever wants to do is talk about Tamara.
She's always like, please, I don't want to talk about Tamara.

And then she talks about Tamara. So I don't know if Emily's being a girl's girl or stirring the pot a little bit.

Well, my understanding from Slade is that, first of all, he was more than happy to share information about Tamara.

And, you know, the way that Gretchen kept saying, we get stuff about Tamara all the time. It's unsolicited.
We don't ask for it, but people send us stuff about Tamara all the time.

And Jen's like, yeah, yeah, she tells me that. She does.
She says they don't don't have anything to do with it. It just comes to them.
So, I don't know. Who do I believe? Here's the, here's the thing.

Oh, wait, let me rephrase that. Here's the turkey sandwich just came out of my pocket.

I think it's really fucking hypocritical for her to have been for the past month or two to be on your case, Tamara, all the time, talking about how Tamara's a horrible person.

And she brings up all the stuff that you brought up, Gretchen having an affair or whatever, and that whole thing. And she had to go to court and she had to defend it.
She had to do all those things.

Remember, remember, remember flashback to all that and then tamara's like yeah and then there's pictures of her on the internet make it out within yeah

so basically they're saying like it's ridiculous that gretchen's coming for tamarabat all this stuff but gretchen's doing the exact same thing right

so then um we see the bass lake stuff from the 2009 reunion was was he at bass lake with you well he came for a date with a whole group of friends oh he was at bass lake too imagine that just happened to be at bass leg well he knows it um well you know jeff knows him as a family friend oh now he's a family friend i thought he was a stalker which is it

which is it bitch

my point is heather and i aren't even asking her about tamara and then she tells us all about this unsolicited stuff and they get in and they hold on to what that has to do with tamara and in my mind i'm thinking you're no different than what you've accused her of being being.

The student has become the master. The turkey has become the sandwich.
The salad has become the tuna.

I wish I had a DeLorean. Me too.
To the week they cast your ass. Please.
Deborean. That's what she drives.

Seriously. So I thought this was interesting.
Tamara's like,

yeah, they were in a relationship. Things went down.
She got caught. And now she's worried about her image.
So then she started saying bad things about him, which caused him to sue her.

And then she sued him. So it was a cluster fuck of suing because they used to be fucking.
Is that my fault? Is that my fault?

Tamara. So she's like, I don't have anything that silica, but it proves my point.
And the reason why I've never wanted to be around her for the past 12 years.

So Gretchen, so now they go into the conversation. They come into the room, right? So then when I thought Tamara already did her her shooting.
I guess she's doing more shooting now.

No, Gretchen, Gretchen and her ladies walk into the firing room, and then I think the other ones go to the other room. Like they switch rooms, right, to get the other lessons.

So, wait, is that right? I don't know. They're just shooting more guns.
And now Gretchen's saying how she gets nervous when she shoots guns. And

they're just shooting guns. Okay, so Tamara basically gets the award for being the best gun shooter.
And they give her an award.

And she's like, oh my God, I got a butt plug and she got a coupoton not a butt plug and now it's time for them to sit down and enjoy some fireball you know what I love I love free booze at a firing range I feel like that always works out really well

well I don't think there anyone's drinking it except Gretchen right doesn't she just pull it out of her purse and start drinking it or does well she just says we have she just says that they have champagne and fireball at the table oh okay okay i thought i thought i I was like, damn, Gretchen pulling some fireball out of her purse.

Like, she got addicted pretty quick there. And

don't get Grutchers.

Don't get your ponytail in the food.

So, um, yeah, she's drinking fireball and Emily's like, Grutchers, are you drinking fireball?

Yeah, her fireball makes you talk a lot of shit, Gretchen. She goes, um, yeah, it does, unfortunately.
Gretchen knows what's coming, you know, she's like, so what's your problem, bad?

I don't have a problem. So, Tamara then gets up.
She's basically like reenacting her scene with Alexis Bellino at the cut fist, the cut fitness preview.

She's like, Well, clearly, you have a problem because I heard what went down.

And Gretchen, see, Gretchen should have said, Oh, yeah, it was you on that boy band member,

but she didn't do that. Instead, she's like, You know, it's annoying to me that Emily immediately went running to Tamara.
And oh, Gretchen was doing this, and Gretchen was doing that.

Like, come on, you're just as much a part of it than I was. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, liar, no, you fucking compulsive liar.
So she's like, so what'd you hear?

And Tamara's like, oh, I know about your manipulation.

And she goes, well, what did they tell you? And so Emily's like, oh, I'll just say it. So when we were in LA, oh, it started out silly.
It was like, we're talking about the pussycat dolls.

We're talking about her single.

And then I said, Tamara tried to sing a song. Wait a minute.
You tried to sing a song.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Like, this is like very fascinating to me. And I'm like, lock the fuck in.

Yes, we were having a girls' night having fun. We were having, what is it called? The circle thing pizza.
And we were just having girls, girls, time. And then we're like, let's hear this song.

Could it possibly sound as good as me in the Groundlinks musical? And it was silly. It was like, oh, she tried to to do a song.
No one was taking it seriously.

It wasn't like she was on Malibu Country or hot in Cleveland or getting advice from Betty White or having a better career than Wendy Malik. It was just fun.

Oh yeah, and then it turned into I'm fucking Nelson and I was having an affair and you hear moaning in the background and all that shit. Come on, get to the store, Heather.
Jesus Christ.

And Gretchen's like, that's not what I said.

Oh, Slade said that part. Slade said that.
Yeah, and if Slade said something stupid, that's on him. Oh, yeah, of course Slade said something stupid.

This is the shit you've been doing to me for 12 fucking years. And I've had it.
I fucking had it.

She, Tamara, sees an it, like, she, she can see that she can, she can make herself like the epic victim here. And so she's just going to literally run with it because she, like, runs out.

And Tamara is like, he has to be ready on Spiel Dad, does it? Which, by the way, Gretchen's saying, like, I can't control it if Slade says something, That's on him.

It's like, yeah, but he didn't even have to be part of the conversation in the first place. You literally brought him to shit up.

You called him to do it. You know what you two are doing.
We're not stupid. Well, we're not as stupid as you.
So Heather's like, um, hello. You brought up the song in the first place, Gretchen.

And Emily's like, I'm so tired of Gretchen putting herself on a pedestal. I mean, she's so self-righteous and everybody else is wrong.
By the way, we still want to hear the song.

Somebody's like, I don't think it's a fair statement because we we were out and we were having fun and it first came up as like a song. Gretchen's like, it was silly.
It was silly.

Well, you guys were saying, like, why was she singing a song? And I said, because she was like working with Nelson on some song. You know, that's all it was.

Wow, Gretchen, not Gretchen lying again, huh?

I can't believe Gretchen's lying. This is crazy.
So Emily's like, you said more than that.

And so we see the clip of Emily saying, when did Tamara go to a studio? And Gretchen's saying, when she fucked Nathan, when she fucked Nelson.

Was she married? Oh, that would be bad.

That would be bad.

You know, so Tamara's like, enough, enough is enough. Jen's like, you know, through the years, you've been saying just as much as she says, Gretchen.

And Gretchen's like, yeah, but I'm always responding to things that you said. And I said to you girls that night, like, I'm so mad at myself for even saying something.

And like, I get sensed all the time. And then you just said, like, all these people reach out to you.
And i

kept my mouth shut forever and i up the other night i just up and tamara's like oh yeah you really kept your mouth shut didn't you yeah sure yeah yeah i did about all the shit i know about you

yeah i did i kept my mouth shut and so heather just puts bread in her mouth i mean you know heather's stressing if she's eating a carb on tv yeah

on tv and tamara's like what do you know about me bitch

it's like oh yeah i know a lot you trust me Oh, yeah, what do you know about that? You want me to talk? Go ahead and talk. Cause it's going to be ugly for you.

So then the producer is like, well, what else do you know about her that she doesn't want known? Next question.

So then Tara's like, here's the thing. That's the thing.
She's the one that tries to destroy people's lives.

Like the time when I caught, when we went on the reunion and I said, she's been cheating on Jeff. God, the way she tried to destroy my life when I said that to her.

And Gretson's like, yeah, okay, um, let's go with I ruin people's lives.

You're the one that's been sued for your lies about trampoline parks, and the person that you tried to get in a lie about with about me, I sued, and I won, so you can right off on that.

Oh, the guy you were fucking, the guy you were fucking, see, there you go. There's pictures of you making out cameras with fine, with fine grade up your fucking vaginas all over the internet.

Remember that?

Yeah, well, remember

you remember the one that I took to court and groove everything? Oh, fuck off.

So these two, I mean,

this argument is just so hilarious. They're so ridiculous.
They are. And Rebra gets right in her face and gives her both middle fingers and she's like,

Tevius, you've been doing this to me, Tevius.

Why did you have to talk about it? And I'll let.

Gina, you're right. I should not have opened my mouth.
Yeah, she was like, she wasn't shit talking about you. I mean, she was talking about how Shannon's father's an

alcoholic. Alcoholic.
Again, if I whisper it.

It's not fucking funny anymore. It's not.
She's like, it's just, it's just so juvenile. And Tamara runs out and she, you know, running and screaming and having a fit.
And she's like, I'm done.

I'm done with this shit. I'm so done with it.
Now, look,

here's my thing about these rumors with Tamara. I believe them because of how Tamara's been acting.
But also, we know that when Tamara is wrong and she's caught, she runs the hell away.

She does it every single time. We've got multiple instances of her doing this.
So

I think you're guilty. But then that said, it's also a zillion years ago.
And I don't care if you fuck the boy band guy. I say if you've got a boy band

neighbor who wants to fuck you, it's your duty as an American to fuck the boy band guy. Okay.
Yeah, I think so. I think you got to take that shot.
Yeah. You need to do it for the story.

And I think if someone's like, but you were in the early stage,

but wait, she was already in the early stages of cheating on Simon with Eddie. I say, just like, you know, just say, hey,

it was a wild time.

It was a, it was a different time in my life. Sorry, guys.
Yeah, exactly. I'm not talking about shit from 15 years ago.
Just do that. Just say that.

All right, everybody. Well, this was a fun time.
Thank you for being with us for this very special two-part.

We will be back Monday with some Real Housewives of Miami and a surprise on Patreon next week, or maybe on the main feed. I don't know.
Wherever. We're going to do something fun and special next week.

But if you do want our great British bake off

cast roast, go check that out on Patreon. It's also where you find these videos, which we do every day.
Okay. We will talk to you guys next time.
Have a good one. Bye.

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