#3013 RHOC S19E12 Part 2: Self Defense Classless

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Watch what crap is, watch what crap is.

Who cares what happens for this?

So much that crappin'.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

This is part two of the recap.

If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed.

It's right there.

And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

So then we go to United Defense Tactical.

And Gretchen arrives in some weird jumpsuit with a leather belt and a crazy braid.

You know how I was talking on Salt lake city this week about all the bad hair in that party that they went to at amy steele's house and how there was that lady with giant gumdrop hair like republican like i guess not republican but like news lady yeah like fox news lady helmet hair but then a big long braid gretchen has that hair today is that just the thing that they're doing now is that in the blonde religion tap

Are gumdrops back in the blonde religion?

Gumdrops braids.

It's weird.

So she comes in looking crazy and she's like, Yeah, I'm trying to look like, what do you call her name?

Laura Croft.

Yeah, I want to call her Kraft because that's how I am.

I'm dumb.

So I want to say Kraft.

Only she would think it's really funny to call someone Laura Kraft instead of Lara Croft.

Oh my God.

Isn't that funny?

I said Laura Kraft.

You know,

my intent wasn't to create a costume out of my look for today, but then when I started doing it, I was like, I look like Lara Croft.

Or is it Kraft?

However, i just went with it yeah

so um she's very excited you know because we need to learn to defend ourselves and be confident and there's so much shit that women go through which is all true obviously but she says i have seven counts against an individual including stalking and harassment so i've been in this situation before which is why slade wanted me to come here to begin with so is she talking about jay Because that's the lawsuit, right?

Because it says, there's a headline and it says, Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen Rossi, awarded $500,000 in lawsuit.

So that was Jay, right?

Jay who?

The guy that she was accused of sleeping with in Bass Lake.

Oh, geez.

Wow.

Lawsuit.

I think that's who it was.

The Real Housewives of Orange County filed her suit against former acquaintance Jay Fotoglo in 2010 when she claimed he lied about her being unfaithful to her late fiancé, Jeff.

I was hoping it'd be Miss Jay from America's Next Hot Model.

Miss Jay is like, I'm not stalking you.

I'm just trying to get you to wear something better.

Oh, my gosh.

So she's saying this guy was lying about having an affair with her.

Oh, wow.

That's crazy.

She also claimed he stole her personal property, including nude photos, and released online and threatened her.

They awarded Rossi 523,250, and he filed for bankruptcy in 2012 and attempted to have the judgment discharged.

Now,

oh, oh, wow.

Damn.

I didn't know all that stuff happened.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

I didn't know either.

I guess

we know.

Welcome to your education.

Watch what crappens.

Yeah.

You didn't have your Google alert set for Gretchen Rossi News.

Kind of forgot.

So she has been in a scary situation.

So is the self-defense class.

Okay.

So she's inviting everybody to do this thing.

And we see everybody getting the invite call, you know, housewives trope, where we see everybody's reaction to the call, the invite.

And

so Gretchen invites Heather and Heather's like, this is so good.

You know who needs that?

Shannon.

Shannon needs self-defense.

I mean, God bless her.

She's just being attacked by carbs all day long.

All day.

Listen, anytime someone raises a hand to me, I just push them down the staircase, back into the basement.

So then

actually we find out it's not a joke.

Actually, I don't remember this part.

Sorry I was making a joke out of it because we find out

there's a clip of the lie detector party where Gina says there's somebody literally fucking stalking Shannon and Shannon's like targeting me.

You know, he's stalking me.

I forgot about that.

Sorry to make jokes.

Geez, that's dark.

I don't remember that.

That is really dark.

So honey, you are like Retchen herself.

You are like evil incarnate as per kitty.

Wow.

You made me do it.

You made me do it, Slane.

It is scary.

And it's like, it's, it's like people need to really just like settle down on the stalking front.

Like, get this scary.

Get a hot shot.

Spanning around.

Please.

It's terrible.

It's like just someone sitting out in the fire.

That's creepy.

So then,

yeah.

So then this guy's like, oh, yeah, it's important for people to understand.

They're not prepared because people train.

to be prepared.

So today we're doing reality awareness.

So that's what we're going to work on today.

Yeah.

So

people are going to show up.

And so everyone's like arriving in cars.

Like Shannon, like Jen comes to pick up Shannon and Shannon is like in character as Madame Swim.

Because remember that hilarious character last season.

And by the way, I just want to say, as long as we're going down.

My earlier thing about Gina and Emily, about how like even Lydia has moments, even we can even think of Lydia anytime.

I cannot tell you how many times I think about Lydia being in drag as Charlie Chaplin.

I'm being horrified.

She's like, I'm Christian.

I can't go to Hamburger Mary's.

That image will haunt me for the rest of my life in that little hat.

How can you not go to a place literally named after Jesus's mother?

Yep.

Yeah, my brain, my leap there was Shannon as Madame Swim.

And then I thought of Shannon dressing up as Brett Michaels and how she was as Brett Michaels walking with Lydia as Charlie Chaplin.

That was, if anyone's wondering why I just brought that up out of nowhere, I realized it made sense in my brain and probably to no one else who was listening.

Well, it's interesting because you know who else remembered that clip?

God this week when he didn't rapture her ass.

You remember.

God remembers.

Okay.

So

Shannon's like, wow, who does your hair?

It looks great, Jen.

It looks just like Tamara's.

She's like, oh, it's this new person.

I don't, I don't really get down with this kind of hair.

I mean, this is a little sloppy for me she's like oh it's very bohemian very bohemian delicious work on top of your head i just love it

thank you so much i don't know what that word means but thank you so much

then gina is like i didn't wear makeup today it's like a physical day like i don't care so they're all driving etc they're heading towards it and they're all wondering like what could it be and tamara's saying it's probably if gretchen's doing it there's probably a costume involved sure and lara

craft and shan's like well if this is a panic room i will not do it i will not do it and jen goes what do you do in a panic room panic

a panic room i love that they're just going to put them in a panic room and terrify them i love that jen is like oh i love the idea that there's a room you can go into just to panic it's really helpful with this wedding coming up a panic room or as shannon calls them rooms

so uh

they're trying to guess what it is.

And they start arriving.

And Emily walks in and sees Gretchen and goes, what the hell are you wearing?

Jesus Christ.

Listen, Emily talking about someone's fashion is like Gretchen talking about someone singing.

Okay.

You don't do it.

Yeah.

The fact that Emily gets in here in her full-on spaghetti strap

wrestler look that she's been rocking and she's like, she looks like Amazon Lara Croft.

it's like uh

maybe talk maybe let's let's hello amazon pot you're calling amazon kettle okay

both delivered in a day with amazon prime so um she could have used some of tamara's fashion fashion school experience

yeah this is what happens now that tamara didn't go to fit

so gretchen's like yeah it's my tomb raider look girl and she goes what are you just you just sprung that hairstyle on your hairstylist?

That's torture.

Why would you do that?

So then

Heather's like, oh, wow, you're like G.I.

Jane, a role that I was up for that that slut Demi took from me.

Well, she sure learned her lesson.

Look at her.

Nowhere.

Look at her.

Oscar loser.

Demi Moore.

Demi model.

Groundlings class more.

Demi less.

Demi less.

The ground.

Last time I checked, she wasn't the star of a musical in the Groundlings.

I mean, she's going to use that hair as a weapon.

Maybe she's going to wrap her hair around Tamara's throat.

You get paid for this.

So then Gretchen's like, yeah, I'm so excited for you to see it because we've all been around in situations that can be sketchy at times.

And like, especially where we live in the Orange County crime capital of the world

and emily's like have you seen where heather lives and like heather doesn't even try to hide it she tells us i'm on the 38th floor and i've got like 12 security downstairs i feel pretty good one time richard marks burst through and he even got up to the 17th floor but he was intercepted and uh sent back to orange county thank god he was beheaded by three different alfredos

so

she literally is like the final boss in the video game she's like you have to go through 38 floors to get to me and you're not going to be able to make it.

Sorry.

Yeah.

She is kind of like the final boss in a video game I played.

That blonde girl, The Call of the Mountains.

What is it called?

Okay, I'm going to look it up.

You keep talking.

Yeah.

I'm not sure.

But Gretchen's like, well, we have a little surprise set up for the next ladies that are arriving next.

So

basically, there's like a little bit of a fun candid camera moment where they're going to set up a fake carjacking.

So the the first group of ladies, which is like Tamara and Gina and like maybe someone else,

they show up and they are like sort of parked and the windows are down.

And this guy comes over and he's like, Spinning change, you guys got any change?

And Tamara's like, no, sorry.

And the guy's like, oh, wow, that's a nice car.

I'm so freaking, I'm so fucking sick of you people lying.

I know you got change.

It's like 40 fucking times today.

And Tamara, she skedaddles out of there.

So she like jumps across the car on the inside in a way that i didn't even know you could move inside a car and she's like get away from me

she literally pushes herself behind gina like to throw gina in the line of danger i mean the this was a horrible thing to do to anybody by the way i didn't like this this whole like oh let's pretend they're being car attacked that's not cool I mean, why would the producers do that?

Do you not remember the Vanderpump Rules cop scene calling the car?

It's just, I didn't like this.

I didn't like it at all.

But it was worth it just to see how Tamara would react in that situation, just throwing people overboard.

Fucking Tamara.

Well, it's, you know, normally, most people would say it's cowardly to do that, but I think it was actually a pretty good technique because I think anytime you like put Gina in front of a would-be mugger, they'd be like, oh, oh, I, yeah, there's nothing in those pockets.

We'll go on.

We'll go on.

We believe you.

We believe you.

There's nothing in your pockets.

Sorry, do you want some Carabella skin care no ma'am no it's okay

so um the guy's like ha ha who ladies welcome to united defense tactical and gene goes that is not funny that is not funny you're a very scary gentleman

gretchen's like she's a scary gentleman

So they go in and they were like, they start yelling at the driver.

Gina's like, Colleen, you weren't driving the car away.

Like, what the hell, Colleen?

And Colleen's like, they told me not to say anything Colleen you know Colleen must have loved this we've seen Colleen over the years she has to deal with these bitches all the time she's like you know what this is the best day I ever had at work watching them get scared like that

this is literally what I would do if they were getting robbed right now I would just sit here just

um also what's weird about this is this situation isn't even ever addressed in the show like what would you do if someone was trying to get to you through a window like you can't use any of the tactics that they learn today in this situation, but whatever.

So, I love that none of them had the instinct to roll up their window, by the way.

They're all like, oh, look, there's a crazy man coming.

And they just sat there with their window open.

Well, don't, don't, don't roll it up.

He might want our autograph.

Okay, let's just wait and see.

Oh, well, there's a lot of toxins in here, so we have to have the window down.

What if I had a heart attack?

I would have sued the fuck out of Gretchen.

Although I wouldn't have gotten anything.

Maybe a bag of groceries and a subscription to FaceTune and a little baby with an eraser face.

It's fair.

Fair point by Tamron.

So guys, like, I didn't want that.

Like, I'm still like shaking.

Oh, my God.

Heather's like, I thought you were going to poop.

Kind of liked Amien Moore when she lost the Oscar.

G.I.

Jane, more like G.I.

loser.

Why didn't Heather and Emily get jacked, by the way?

I think that they would have worried what they really would have done because I feel like Emily probably has a gun in her purse and Heather would have just started throwing Alfredos at them.

Heather would have

just opened the trunk and just Alfredos would have come out with like ninja stars and started like pelting the guy.

Those crab hands would have gone to work.

She would have been like, if you ever try to card me or my friends again, it will cost you a lot.

I'm not carjacking, Heather.

So at the self-defense.

Okay, so now we're back at the studio and um emily's like shannon's next if you guys want to watch this is gonna be great

so shannon they do the same thing and shannon's like where are we and jing goes um i think that man is digging in the trash can and shannon's like what

watch also shows how how little exposure they have to unhoused people because like you know when you like you that's what you see and you don't even need to point it out you know it's not like oh my god look there's someone digging in the trash.

Can you believe it?

Shannon is literally more horrified that the person is digging through the trash than she is at getting carjacked.

I know that they're just like really sheltered.

So then he's like,

that's a nice ride, homie.

You guys got any change?

Oh, well, no, I don't.

I have been working on myself.

So in many ways, I do have change.

I am change and it's been a long process, but I'm proud of the work I've done.

And thank you for easy.

I'm fine being single i'm fine being single thank you thank you for asking i um i i have had a rough a rough go of it and um you know i guess i guess i have some change which is that i used to be married and then he wound up walking on the beach with a slot and now i don't have a husband anymore so yes i do have change in my life i'll tell you how much i've changed would you like to have dinner as friends you do not have to be intimate with me

i have a lot of male friends a lot of male friends

no i do have change in that I now am aware of the patterns of hurricanes and if they may be going very far inland and perhaps imperiling a lover's house.

So yes, I guess that's change.

I'm sorry, Earl.

My name's not Earl lady.

Well, I'm practicing.

It's called change.

Do you want me to change or not?

I do have some vegetables.

Do you eat vegetables?

I do.

Well, see, there we go.

And improved.

Finally a real man around here.

I will marry you.

I will marry you.

so he's like what you got a car like this you don't have any money for me what are you shitting me you don't give me your phones give me your phones give me that give me your phone lady and she's like what the hell are you doing how dare you sir

how dare you propose some sort of socialist agenda right now

I thought Obama got them phones.

So the guy's like, are you prepared to die over that that phone are you prepared to fucking die today well i i actually believe i'm gonna die every day it's very scary out there i i have a little bit of a cough and i'm concerned that this may be the last day i breathe actually fool me once

well i will either be killed by you in this car or killed by the filters that apparently haven't been changed in this car

i'm i i well apparently dr moon says i have some psycho psychological debris in my anus at the moment so i i i think i i have a good three hours left on this earth.

So I am prepared to die, actually.

I've been going through it all day and I've settled my things.

And yes, I am.

I've died three times just on the way over here.

So you can't scare me.

You cannot scare me.

So she actually stays really calm.

And he's like, are you prepared to die over that phone?

And she goes, oh, this is part of the, that's part of the show.

This is part of the show.

Yes, he's an actor.

He's an actor.

You're doing a great job.

You're doing a great job.

Question.

Are you able to actually help me get this debris out of my asshole?

I really wasn't joking about that part.

So Joan's like, wow, now all of a sudden, Shannon is calm, cool, and collected.

So what we need to do to calm her down is carjack her.

Like, what do we need to do with her?

She's like, well, I was functioning frozen.

Is that a thing?

I thought, can I kick his face?

No, because they'll probably drag me out of the car.

I can't kick his face.

Here's what I'll do.

I'll be extremely polite to him.

And it worked.

It worked.

So now everyone comes inside and it's like, everyone, that scary carjacker, that's Josh.

He's one of our instructors.

Like, oh, very good work.

You were very good.

Very good.

I really appreciate you.

So then he does a spiel about.

training, self-defense, and how important it is.

And so one group is going to go do self-defense class.

The other group is going to go to a shooting range.

That way, you all can learn the skills to save yourselves.

But more importantly, you can gossip about the other group behind their backs.

Okay, enjoy.

Yeah.

We're ready for some self-defense, guys.

What are those

plastic men?

And so they teach them some fighting stuff.

And

Gina is like, you know, I've never taken self-defense class before, but like, I know, you know, because I know I'm going to die.

Like, what are you going to do?

Like, if a man comes at you just say wait so let me try my move no you're fucking dead well wait kind of attitude gina

let me try my move okay yeah yeah so um they they do some fighting and stuff and then um let's see heather's like i really don't see myself being a hand-to-hand combat kind of a girl you know i just wear alfredo jackets you know i just anywhere that looks dangerous i'm just shielded by alfredos

well one thing i always do is i I carry a small little bowl in my vest.

That way, if I make it to Runy to Go Safely, I can have someone send it along to Nobu.

But if I get attacked, I can hit them with the bowl.

It's very helpful.

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So then we see the firing range room and they're going to shoot.

They're not getting real guns.

They're getting projectile guns.

Okay.

So Jen's like, well, I was raised in Oklahoma, but I never shot a gun.

You know,

it's like being out in the wild west shooting guns and riding horses.

Well, it wasn't.

I'm good with a water gun, though.

My aim's, it's great.

Water gun.

Locked and loaded.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for laughing at that.

Thank you guys.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

So Emily's like, my shooting sucks.

I can't see anything.

I need readers.

So now, and Tamara goes up there and she shoots like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

She's a very good shooter and she's like I don't know why any of the women would be surprised that I'm a good shot.

I'm a snapper with my words.

So target shooting.

It's a breeze bitch

So they're all

actually really good.

It's hilarious.

I was laughing out loud at this part because everyone else is like I'm a girl.

I don't know how to hold a gun.

I can't see anything and Shannon gets up there and she's like bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

excuse me they're all dead by the end it's like all of them are lying down dead.

She just, it's like, she just has to envision like several different mannequins wearing non-leopard print.

She's like, what?

Disgusting.

Kill it, kill it, kill it, kill it.

She's like, Quintin, Alexis, Lizzy.

She's naming them all as she goes.

The old guy from the Traders who I said had asthma.

Kill him.

So now it's talking time, and the instructor's like, okay, as is totally normal on gun ranges, we're just going to all leave you here with loaded weapons to fight it out.

Okay, see you later.

See you later.

Okay, so

where are we?

Where are we?

And we've split up, but where is Ben in his nose?

That's a great question.

In the gym.

So Shannon's like, wow, thank you for scaring the shit out of me today, Gretchen.

She's like, sorry.

You know what I forgot to ask, Wes?

Like, what would we do if we were getting carjacked?

Shannon goes, well, if I had cash, cash, I would have given him money.

I mean,

what are you going to do?

And I just say, listen, if I had cash, I'd just be, I would just call him, hey, Mr.

John Jansen, here's some money because this is what I do.

I just give men money.

Okay.

And then I'd get sued by him later on for $75,000.

Gina's like, would you like my Debicon?

Because like you can do it yourself, you know, like, I'll give you my pen.

It's like looking at a phone have those letters on it.

Just spell out I feel bad.

well it's funny now but it was not funny then it was not funny then although i do have a new subscriber to the real real

it was it was it was not funny um but i i we are going to be going on a date afterwards yes um so gretcha's like how was your guys' trip and it was fun and heather was like oh So remember, I said to you on the phone by 1 a.m.

You'll be in the hot tub with Tamara going, I love you.

Remember I said that?

And then I said, I wonder what Demi Moore is doing.

Maybe she's cradling her Oscar to bed.

And then I said, just kidding, she lost it.

Remember I said that part too?

Were people listening to me?

No.

Shannon's like, well, that is not how it happened.

Okay.

And then in the firing room where the other girls are, Emily's like, oh, I was Temacula.

Okay, I'm glad you had fun.

So we had some bumps because guess what?

I heard about you.

And then we go back to the other girls.

And Gina's like, yeah,

she was sharing, you know, Shannon was sharing things about her childhood and her parents and like her grandpa's avocado mountain.

It's really good.

Yeah, I said my parents had a tumultuous relationship.

And then Tamara tuned in to say, oh, well, we know your dad's an alcoholic, you loser drunk.

Well, that's not exactly how she said it.

Oh, well, okay.

What did she say?

Didn't your dad have a problem with drinking or something?

Oh, well, same thing.

Wow, that was much different.

Thanks a lot.

Well, I mean, that's some fear of Tiamra that Shannon's holding on to this.

If anything, Tiamra was like trying to support her.

Because when you look at Tiamra Judge, you think, oh my God, like what a supportive person.

And I definitely think that like Shannon is like creating a mole out of a, out of a, out of a mountain of a mole.

She took a mountain and she shaped the mountain into a mole and then she put the mole on a hill and it's like a mountain hill out of a mole.

mole you know i think she's doing that right

gina you can't even do the old molehill shtick that's just not so sad it's just so sad she's like yeah like she can't even do the mountain out of a molehill like i'm worried for i'm worried for shannon i'm worried avocados on a molehill once

so then back in the other room emily is like well

you know what i think that with her you're just not allowed to have an opinion okay you're not in that position she goes yeah gina said that Gina said that too.

You know, she's just going to be pissed no matter what.

Okay, we just need to hang one of those signs up that says blank days since incident.

And at this point, we would just say zero.

We could also say blank days since someone pulled a turkey out of their pocket.

And look, turkey sandwich, zero.

Well, did you guys have fun on your trip?

And Heather's like, we went to the Abbey.

It's a homosexual place.

Very cool among the youths.

The youths.

Lots of homosexuals.

We listened to Chappelle Rowan, and she was lovely and hilarious.

I am such a Stanley.

And they're like, oh, wow, that's fun.

Well, Gretcher's just lose lips when she drinks a lot of fireball.

What do you think about Stanley?

But that's supposed to mean lose lips.

What that's supposed to mean?

Why bring up my hot school nickname?

No, I mean, she talks a lot.

She started telling us that you recorded a song.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, I was in the recording studio, but it was in the house, you know, like a house.

And we were hanging out.

We were in the house.

We were drinking.

And it was right after I separated from Simon and then just started dating Eddie.

I was like, oh, that's interesting how she's like making sure the timeline is that she was between relationships.

So I wonder if this was true because it was pretty, she was like, oh, yeah, I remember that.

I was separated and maybe just met Eddie one time on a thing.

That was 15 years ago.

So what?

What about it?

And Jen's like, you have a pop song, Tamara?

Oh, my God.

I need a pop song too.

I need a pop song.

Yeah, we were just joking around.

I'm going to write a pop song called Thank You So Much.

Thank you.

I'm going to have a pop song called Collateral Damage.

It'll just be my daughter crying on the track.

Yeah, we were just messing around,

you were messing around, yeah, just singing songs.

You know, I don't know how, I don't know who would have gotten it, but like, I don't know, maybe it was someone who was six degrees of Kevin Bacon away, or maybe 98 degrees away.

Who knows?

But they wouldn't, I don't know how they would have gotten it.

I don't even have it.

So she says that she was confronted by somebody from a boy band that lived in her neighborhood.

Confronted by

next on 48 hours

confronted by a boy band member starring tamara judge i thought i'll give him all well it wasn't good at all so i'm like nope i'm not embarrassing myself maybe you should just do it alone i'm used to embarrassing myself with my speaking voice so

oh my god well then she says that like slade has a copy he has a copy well of course he does yeah so then he proceeded to say that you had an affair and an affair with both brothers of nelson while BB Mac watched.

What?

What?

I can't believe that.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

So, in the other room, Emily's like, Yeah, apparently.

Oh, no, sorry, still the same room.

In our recording studio, you recorded a song, but then you and him had sex, and it ended up being on this recording.

And Slade has a copy of the recording.

She's like, I'll bring it.

I'd love to hear it.

I'd love to hear it.

I wish, I feel like the more normal response would be like, that doesn't even make sense.

It's like the strangest rumor.

Like they had, I mean, the last, well, actually, it's not that strange because it did happen to Jax Taylor, but that's also Jax Taylor.

So Tamara's like, well, you got to give it credit.

He desired to try to make me look bad.

She's just so obsessed with my life and what I have and what she doesn't have that she just wants to tear me down.

So Jen's like, well, I have gotten to know Gretchen.

And last thing she ever wants to do is talk about Tamara.

She's always like, please, I don't want to talk about Tamara.

And then she talks about tamara so i don't know if emily's being a girl's girl or stirring the pot a little bit well my understanding from slade is that first of all he was more than happy to share information about tamara and you know the way that gretchen kept saying we get stuff about tamara all the time it's unsolicited we don't ask for it but people send us stuff about tamara all the time and jen's like yeah yeah she tells me that she does she says they don't have anything to do with it it just comes to them so i don't know who do i believe here's the here's the thing oh wait let me rephrase that here's the turkey sandwich just came out of my pocket i think it's really fucking hypocritical for her to have been for the past month or two to be on your case tamara all the time talking about how tamara's a horrible person and she brings up all the stuff that you brought up gretchening having an affair or whatever and that whole thing and she had to go to court and she had to defend it she had to do all those things remember remember remember flashback to all that and then tamara's like yeah and then there's pictures of her on the internet make out within.

Yeah.

So basically they're saying, like, it's ridiculous that Gretchen's coming for Tamara about all this stuff, but Gretchen's doing the exact same thing.

Right.

So then we see the Bass Lake staff for the 2009 reunion.

Was he at Bass Lake with you?

Well, he came for a date with a whole group of friends.

Oh, he was at Bass Lake, too.

Imagine that.

Just happened to be at Bass Lake.

Well, he knows it.

Well, you know, Jeff knows him as a family friend.

Oh, now nice family friend.

I thought he was a stalker.

Which is it?

Which is it, Chris?

My point is, Heather and I aren't even asking her shit about Tamara.

And then she tells us all about this unsolicited stuff.

And they get in, and they hold on to what that has to do with Tamara.

And in my mind, I'm thinking, you're no different than what you've accused her of being.

The student has become the master.

The turkey has become the sandwich.

The salad has become the tuna.

I wish I had a DeLorean.

Me too.

To the week they cast your ass.

Please.

Deborean.

That's what she drives.

Seriously.

So I thought this was interesting.

Tamara's like,

yeah, they were in a relationship.

Things went down.

She got caught.

And now she's worried about her image.

So then she started saying bad things about him, which caused him to sue her.

And then she sued him.

So it was a cluster fuck of suing because they used to be fucking.

Is that my fault?

Is that my fault?

Tamara.

So she's like, I don't have anything to hide solitary, but it proves my point.

And the reason why I've never wanted to be around her for the past 12 years.

So Gretchen, so now they go into

the room, right?

I thought Tamara already did her shooting.

I guess she's doing more shooting now.

No, Gretchen,

Gretchen and her ladies walk walk into the firing room, and then I think the other ones go to the other room, like they switch rooms, right, to get the other lessons.

So, wait, is that right?

Yeah, I don't know.

They're just shooting more guns.

And now, Gretchen's saying how she gets nervous when she shoots guns, and

they're just shooting guns.

Okay, so Tamara basically gets the award for being the best gun shooter.

And they give her an award.

And she's like, oh my God, I got a butt plug.

And she got a coupoton, not a butt plug.

And now it's time for them to sit down and enjoy some fireball.

You know what I love?

I love free booze at a firing range.

I feel like that always works out really well.

Well, I don't think anyone's drinking it except Gretchen, right?

Doesn't she just pull it out of her purse and start drinking it?

Well, she just says we have, she just says that they have champagne and fireball at the table.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

I thought I was like, damn, Gretchen pulling some fireball out of her purse.

Like, she got addicted pretty quick there.

don't get Grutchers.

Don't get your ponytail on the food.

So, um, yeah, she's drinking fireball.

And Emily's like, Grutchers, are you drinking fireball?

Yeah, her fireball makes you talk a lot of shit, Gretchen.

She goes, um, yeah, it does, unfortunately.

Gretchen knows what's coming, you know.

She's like, so what's your problem, bad?

I don't have a problem.

So Tamara then gets up.

She's basically like reenacting her scene with Alexis Bellino at the cut fist, the cut fitness preview.

She's like, well, clearly you have a problem because I heard what went down.

And Gretchen, see, Gretchen should have said, oh, yeah, it was you on that boy band member, but she didn't do that.

Instead, she's like, you know, it's annoying to me that Emily immediately went running to Tamara.

And oh, Gretchen was doing this and Gretchen was doing that.

Like, come on, you're just as much a part of it than I was.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, liar.

No, you fucking compulsive liar.

So she's like, so what do you hear?

And Tamara's like, oh, I know about your manipulation.

And she goes, well, what did they tell you?

And so Emily's like, oh, I'll just say it.

So when we were in LA, oh, it started out silly.

It was like, we're talking about the pussycat dolls.

We're talking about her single.

And then I said, Tamara tried to sing a song.

Wait a minute.

You tried to sing a song.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Like, this is like very fascinating to me and I'm like locked the fuck in.

Yes, we were having a girls night having fun.

We were having, what is it called?

The circle thing pizza and we were just having girls girls time.

And then we're like, let's hear this song.

Could it possibly sound as good as me in the Groundlinks musical?

And it was silly.

It was like, oh, she tried to do a song.

No one was taking it seriously.

It wasn't like she was on Malibu Country or hot in cleveland or getting advice from betty white

or having a better career than wendy malick it was just fun oh yeah and then it turned into i'm fucking nelson and i was having an affair and you hear moaning in the background now that shit come on get to the store heather jesus christ And Gretson's like, that's not what I said.

Oh, Slade said that part.

Slade said that.

Yeah, and if Slade said something stupid, that's on him.

Oh, yeah, of course Slade said something stupid.

This is the shit you've been doing to me for 12 fucking years, and I've had it.

I fucking had it.

She, Tamara, sees it, sees an it, like, she, she can see that she can, she can make herself like the epic victim here, and so she's just gonna literally run with it because she, like, runs out.

And Tamara's like, he has to be ready on spiel, does it?

Which, by the way, Gretchen's saying, like, I can't control it if Slade says something, that's on him.

It's like, yeah, but he didn't even have to be part of the conversation in the first place.

You brought him to shit up you called him to do it you know what you two are doing we're not stupid well we're not as stupid as you so heather's like um hello you brought up the song in the first place gretchen and emily's like i'm so tired of gretchen putting herself on a pedestal i mean she's so self-righteous and everybody else is wrong by the way we still want to hear the song

Someone's like, I don't think it's a fair statement because we were out and we were having fun and it first came up as like a song.

Gretchen's like, it was silly.

it was silly.

Well, you guys were saying, like, why was she singing a song?

And I said, Because she was like working with Nelson on some song, you know, that's all it was.

Wow, Gretchen, not Gretchen lying again, huh?

I can't believe Gretchen's lying.

This is crazy.

So, Emily's like, you said more than that.

And so, we see the clip of Emily saying, When did Tamara go to a studio?

And Gretchen saying, When she fucked Nathan, when she fucked Nelson,

was she married oh that would be bad

that would be bad

you know so Tamar's like enough enough is enough Jen's like you know through the years you've been saying just as much as she says Gretchen and Gretchen's like yeah but I'm always responding to things that you said and I said to you girl that night like I'm so mad at myself for even saying something and like I get sensed up all the time and then you just said like all these people reach out to you and I

kept my mouth shut forever and I fucked up the other night I just fucked up and Tamra's like oh yeah you really kept your mouth shut didn't you yeah sure yeah yeah i did about all the i know about you yeah i did i kept my mouth shut and so heather just puts bread in her mouth i mean you know heather's stressing if she's eating a carb on tv yeah

on tv and tamara's like what do you know about me

it's like oh yeah i know a lot you trust me oh yeah what do you know about me you want me to talk go ahead and talk because it's gonna be ugly for you.

So then the producer is like, well, what else do you know about her that she doesn't want known?

Next question.

So then Tam's like, here's the thing.

That's the thing.

She's the one that tries to destroy us people's lives.

Like the time when I caught, when we went on the reunion and I said, she's been cheating on Jeff.

God, the way she tried to destroy my life when I said that to her.

And Gretson's like, yeah, okay, let's go with I ruined people's lives.

You're the one that's been sued for your lies about trampoline parks.

And the person that you tried to get in a lie about with about me, I sued and I won.

So you can fuck right off on that.

Oh, the guys you were fucking?

The guys you were fucking.

See, there you go.

There's pictures of you making out cameras with fine, with fine grade up your fucking vaginas all over the internet.

Remember that?

Yeah, well, remember

you remember the one that I took to court and groove everything?

Oh, fuck off.

So these two, I mean,

this argument is just so hilarious.

They're so ridiculous.

They are.

And Rebra gets right in our face and gives her both middle fingers.

And she's like,

Tevius, she'd be doing this to me.

Tevius.

Why did you have to talk about it?

And I'll say, why?

Gina, you're right.

I should not have opened my mouth.

Yeah, she was like, she wasn't that shit talking about you.

I mean, she was talking about how Shanna's father's an

alcoholic.

Alcoholic.

Again, if I whisper it.

It's not fucking funny anymore.

It's not.

She's like,

it's just so juvenile.

And Tamara runs out.

She, you know, running and screaming and having a fit.

And she's like, I'm done.

I'm done with this shit.

I'm so done with it.

Now, look,

here's my thing about these rumors with Tamara.

I believe them.

because of how Tamara's been acting, but also we know that when Tamara is wrong and she's caught, she runs the hell away.

She does it every single time.

We've got multiple instances of her doing this.

So

I think you're guilty.

But then that said, it's also a zillion years ago.

And I don't care if you fuck the boy band guy.

I say if you've got a boy band

neighbor who wants to fuck you, it's your duty as an American to fuck the boy band guy.

Okay.

Yeah, I think so.

I think you got to take that shot.

Yeah.

You need to do it for the story.

And I think if someone's like, but you were in the early,

but wait, she was already in the early stages of cheating on Simon with Eddie.

I say, just like, you know, just say, hey,

it was a wild time.

It was a different time in my life.

Sorry, guys.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm not talking about shit from 15 years ago.

Just do that.

Just say that.

All right, everybody.

Well, this was a fun time.

Thank you for being with us for this very special two-part.

We will be back Monday with some Real Housewives of Miami and a a surprise on Patreon next week or maybe on the main feed.

I don't know.

Wherever.

We're going to do something fun and special next week.

But if you do want our great British bake off

cast roast, go check that out on Patreon.

It's also where you find these videos, which we do every day.

Okay.

We will talk to you guys next time.

Have a good one.

Bye.

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