#3005 RHOC S19E11 Part Two: Safety in Slumbers

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Watch what crap is, watch what crap is.

Who cares what happens for this?

So much that crappin'.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

This is part two of the recap.

If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed.

It's right there.

And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.

So let's go over to Beverly Hills.

Gretchen is looking for her phone.

It's like, Siri, where are you at, bitch?

Where you at?

Gretchers!

Gretchen's!

Where's your phone?

I can't find it.

I'm looking everywhere.

It's someone.

Oh, hey, I found it.

So they're like saying, you know, Emily's like, I need to hear the song.

I'm not going to let her off the hook.

This is what happens to sleepovers.

You drink fireball and then you talk shit about your nemesis.

I was like, I don't remember drinking fireball when I was 11 years old at my friend's sleepover, but that's fine.

We have different, different.

Well, we all grow up differently, I guess.

So then Gretchen FaceTimes Slade, who is so excited.

He's got his ring light out.

He's like got like bronzer.

He's like ready to go.

He did his full like face contouring.

He's like, hello.

He's holding a microphone.

He's like, hello, it's me, Slade.

Just another casual night at home.

What can I do for you, ladies?

Ding, ping, ping.

Yeah.

And so Emily's like, well, it has come to my attention that there's maybe an audio recording of Tamara singing in his studio.

And he goes, oh, what?

Well, the story goes, this was her trying to record a song.

And then the two of them started messing around.

And then they forgot they were recording.

So the audio of their extracurriculars is on there too.

Isn't that hilarious?

What?

It's a song of them having sex.

Oh.

Well, that's what I've been told.

I'm not really, you know, I wouldn't know.

Wait, you said you had the audio.

No, I said I heard the audio of her in the studio trying to sing.

Did you hear the other audio, Slayton?

He's like, yeah, it was played for me.

No, we wanted to hear her sing.

I don't care about the other stuff.

I really, I don't, that's just so, ooh.

It's just so,

it's just so poor.

So poor.

If I wanted to hear a possum groaning, I would just tune into some of Wendy Malik's acting choices.

So Emily is like, Slade, I mean, he literally like salivates at the mouth when he gets to talk about Tamra.

I mean, Shane would have just told me, shut the fuck about Tamra and move on.

Then again, he says that about really anything i say so slate just like feeds it he feeds it and feeds it and feeds it and feeds it

you know um yeah slate's gross and so now of course they don't have the recording you know and then slate tells us when it comes to tamara i'm not really interested in you know sharing dirt on tamara but i am interested in telling the truth Oh, yeah.

So, Slade, thank you for your chief warrior in this moment.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you for

this.

Sebastian of honesty.

Slade smiley, ladies and gentlemen.

You slimeback.

Get the fuck out of here and take Gretcher's with you.

So Gretchen says, I have a recording of

Tamara singing.

And then it becomes, oh, I don't have it.

Slade has it.

And then it becomes, yeah, I have a recording of her.

singing and then they forget the mic is on.

So then they start having sex.

You can hear the sex.

And it's like, oh, but actually I don't have that it was just played for me and oh we don't have that audio but we have audio of her singing but then we still don't even hear the the singing audio so

huh it's hard

i'm just saying

you know when you're when you're when we've already seen you say i went to the hospital i didn't go to the hospital and now this story is is rapidly changing while we're hearing it We're really supposed to believe that Katie is just like the one who who is totally fallible in this entire stupid situation earlier this season.

I don't think so, is what I'm trying to say.

I don't think so.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, it's hypocrisy, these people.

But he didn't say he actually has a recording, right?

Of the song.

I don't know.

At that point, let's see.

I'm just, you guys, I'm just like interested in the truth.

Gretchen said that they had a recording.

Well, she didn't she just say this right in here somewhere in the middle.

Now I'm going, now I'm going to go.

She said she has a recording of Tamara, but then she said, no, Slade has a recording.

Then Slade says, no, I don't have the recording, but I heard it.

And they were fucking in the recording.

And Gretchen says, no, I said I heard the audio of her in the studio trying to sing the song.

So now it's like, do you have it?

Do you not have it?

Because

you are lying.

Okay.

Why are you liar?

Yeah, lie.

Lie.

So

then Emily's like, okay, well, if you're not going to show us the song, Slade, we're going to go back to our slumber party by loser.

so they hang up on him and heather's like let's go do what girls do hang out in our beds i could really use the comfort of mosquito netting surrounding me right about now

yeah

and gretchen's like you guys can't go back to timer and tell her this because this is going to be a problem oh no too late

you're with emily simpson okay

so and also you just brought it up on camera and called slade on like what do you think is going to happen so now she's going to try and and turn it.

I don't want the girls to say anything about the extracurricular activity because that's not why I called Slade.

I called him because I wanted to hear the footage of Tamara in the studio sounding like a drowned rat.

So, not to beat a dead horse, but you know what?

Sometimes you just got to beat a dead horse, it's dead, right?

Who cares?

But the

so now

Gretchen wants us to believe that when Katie says that there's a cover-up, that Gretchen called and said, don't talk about this shit.

Don't talk about this.

What I said at Javier's or whatever.

Like, we're just going to deny, deny, deny.

Don't say that I said this on camera.

And then when Katie says, she said this and told me to say this, and Gretchen goes, what?

That's crazy.

I never said don't say this.

And yet now, literally two episodes later, Gretchen is dropping some bombs and then saying, don't tell anyone.

Don't tell anyone.

Don't tell anyone.

And now we're supposed to like not believe Katie on this.

Yep.

I'm sorry, Gretchen.

Literally doing the exact same thing again, covering up another cover-up.

Yes, I actually controversially am greatly enjoying Gretchen's return this season, but she's she's full of shit.

She's full of total, total shit.

Yeah, she is, she's a liar.

So back into Mecula.

It's pool time.

Gina lets you joint and she's like, I'm within like the whole California super.

And like, I enjoy a little THC.

Okay.

So, you know, they're going to get Shannon to smoke.

And it's like, I can't.

I have a cough.

Okay.

Since 2008.

So

I can't.

I can't do that.

A 2008 cough.

She's like, she's like, she's not like dog holiday.

Like, does she have like, what does she have?

Like a black lung?

Like, come on.

I

know, but I did go to to a barbecue once and they were using a cold barbecue and i am afraid that i may have developed some black lung from that barbecue so please don't joke about that it's very serious 2008 was a it's heavier it's heavier for all of us

Well, I'm going to say this, and I hope you don't take offense to this, Shannon.

But like, I like you.

I really do.

And I worry about you because, like, Matt just had a heart attack and it freaked me out.

And, like, I worry about you, Shannon.

And she goes,

I'm good.

I'm good.

Thank you.

Thank you for your lukewarm, passive-aggressive care, but I'm fine.

I'm so glad that someone had to almost drop dead before you had some shred of concern about me, but it makes you feel any better.

I eat salmon regularly, occasionally stuffed with cream cheese, and

my heart may be broken, but it is good.

So don't worry about me.

Don't worry about it.

Tamara, Tamara, who just a couple of weeks ago got so wasted on booze and benzos that she had a breakdown and ran away and quit, now says i think gina's concerns are the same concerns that i've had and that shannon's drinking it just takes a tell on your body oh shannon please be quiet we've seen you wasted and making a fool out of yourself on this show for over a decade ma'am i believe the term is not wasted i believe the term is sloshed that is the pot calling the kettle one black and i will not stand for it

so you think you were going to call her and she's not going to answer someday?

You think that's what's going to happen?

He was like, no, it's just like, you know, it's like over 40 now.

I'm like very aware that you could have serious health things that happen to you.

It's just like freaky.

Like, I don't like that.

It's weird.

I feel bad.

Well, inside, I'm inside.

I'm 26.

Well, 20, 28.

Okay, I turned 28 inside.

Okay, I admit it.

My inside is 28.

Are you happy?

Well, I'm 28 on the inside, but I'm a dignified and classy inside 28, unlike that slutty outside 28 on the beach.

Okay, all right.

You know, the girls, you know, you know,

you know, her girls are out of the house and she's like being by herself.

And I just like truly believe that it's like way easier to make bad decisions when you're alone.

That's I'm like, well, yes, based on your fashion sense, I would agree.

You can make some really bad decisions when you're alone.

But based on the lack of improvement in your fashion sense and the fact that we've seen Matt watching you pack, I would say your decisions don't get much better with a partner.

So.

And also, I would say based on all the word art in your home, it seems like you can make bad decisions when you're out in public around people in marshals.

Well, I'm sitting at home with my dog.

I'm watching news.

I'm doing my Sudoku and I'm timing myself at every single one.

And I'm really getting good.

So I don't bring up this kind of stuff because I have a very good life right now.

It's very good.

I'm very good at time Sudoku.

Yes, I do my daily puzzle from Lonely Peoples Quarterly.

They have an app and they

release a daily Sudoku while you wait for the next edition of Lonely People's Quarterly.

Why do they release it only once every three months?

I've really been into a new game called Curdle, where every day you try and

find five different kinds of milk to jot down.

I don't know.

Yeah, I like to play a game called Spelling Bean.

It's not Spelling B.

It's spelling Bin, B-E-E-N, as in

everything's past tense for you now.

You're a has-bin and you spell things in.

You only find words that are in the past tense.

So back in Beverly Hills.

A word that's very popular is left, divorced, and used to be betrayed.

One big compound word.

No.

Betrayed.

Cheated on, which is weird because that's two words, but they accept it.

So back in Bev Hills, it's time for bed.

And they all led the slumber parties.

And Gretchen's like, oh my God, legit, this is my favorite slumber party.

Stop talking, Gretchen.

I'm trying to sleep.

But it's my favorite slumber party.

I love you, girls.

Good night, John Boy.

Shut up.

Emily, I love you.

Good night, Emily.

Shut the fuck up, Gretchen.

Good night.

Does he even want me to sing them to sleep?

You're never gonna break me.

you're never gonna bring me out oh yeah oh yeah it's like a mashup she should do a mashup with tamara

okay yeah she really should so to mecula the lit it's time to wake up and shannon is stressing out because she's making something from a recipe and trying to turn on ovens and play with all of her bakeware.

And she's just stressing out going over all of her stuff.

And Tamara's like, need help cooking?

And she's like, well,

I have a pot for you to stir.

Okay.

Don't bother me.

I'm very, very busy.

I am making what everyone wants when they wake up, cauliflower rice hash browns.

So does anyone want some

non-potato hash browns made of cauliflower?

That's what everyone wants in the breakfast for breakfast, right?

Hope we're down for some watery hash browns.

So Tamara's like, so she's like, Supets, like, how's your new house, Shannon?

Are you ever going to invite me ever?

Do I ever get to see Archie ever again?

Anyone tell me about the house?

It's a hot house.

Can I handle a hot person like me, Shannon?

She's like,

okay, I just have to focus on the cauliflower race hash browns.

Because if you don't do it right, they crumble apart, sort of like my marriages.

Okay.

Well, okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to concentrate.

I've got one cup of blonde and another cup of beach and another cup of, I've just left you for a dumb bond horror on the beach.

God damn it, I hate hash browns.

I used to tell David, why don't we hash it out?

And he said, why don't you make me a hash brown?

And oh, I love when he would say that.

Gotta get back to the hash browns.

Gotta get back to the hash browns.

So is that enough?

You don't like your ass and that inviting me over?

What are you saying?

I'm saying I'm trying to concentrate on...

It's five doors down from my other place.

Okay, now I need more sugar.

Could you look in the thing and see if you see sugar?

Just see if you see sugar, Tamara.

Okay, it's very important.

Please don't distract me.

I'm trying to make some sugary cauliflower.

Can you please not distract me?

This is going to be a delicious, sweet cauliflower breakfast.

Let's hook right now.

Hey, what's your favorite thing about me?

My favorite thing about you is your hair, Shannon.

I love your hair, Shannon.

Okay, you know what?

I really, I just, I have a job to do.

I have to serve these women disgusting little hash browns, and she is distracting me.

I would love that you smelled like jar of olives.

You smell like a jar of olives.

Hey, you should have your own candle.

It smells like a jar of olives, Shannon.

Tamara's like, oh, you're an Aries.

You're just like, Ellie.

You can't even talk to me about something else.

You know what's so funny?

I was just talking to my friend Neil about how like there are certain zodiac signs that people always

like announce that they are.

People are always like, oh, it's Leo season.

I'm a Virgo.

No offense.

I mean, I'm a Sag.

People say Sag.

I'm a Satch.

People are like certain ones people are always saying.

I feel like I never hear people say, oh, I'm an Aries.

Aries season has started, everyone.

Aries.

I was like, I even forgot Aries was part of the, I was at the party.

I didn't even remember Aries was a zodiac sign.

So just so funny that we mentioned that two days ago.

And then now here comes Eddie.

There we go.

And Aries.

And Aries.

And so now what we know about Aries is that they just want Shanna to shut the fuck up.

I mean, they just want Tamara to shut the fuck up in the kitchen.

That's like all any Aries wants.

It's in all of their horoscopes.

Yeah.

That's a really uninteresting story I told about Aries right now.

I'm glad everyone enjoyed it.

So, Jen.

No, it's actually true.

I don't really hear people say that.

Like, oh my God, what an Aries.

Am I right?

Like with me, people are like, oh, you're a Virgo shocker, Ronnie.

Yeah, of course you're a fucking Virgo.

People always are.

They're painful and judgmental.

And, you know, so I can, I'm used to that.

People just being, oh, you're such a Virgo.

But yeah, you're right.

You never really do hear it about Aries people.

No one does like a shtick about Aries.

People do it about Virgo.

They even do it about Gemini's, Leo's.

Maybe Sagittarius.

I don't know if people do it about Sagittarius.

People do it about maybe Libras.

Well, maybe people people try to say things about Aries and Aries people are just like, please be quiet.

I'm trying to concentrate.

So nothing really ever gains traction, you know?

Like it's Aries.

I'm not a sign.

I don't even know what Aries is.

So

sorry, there'd be so many Aries people that'll be like,

please do not erase us.

Do not erase us.

This is Aries erasure.

How dare you?

So Shannon's like, I've got a job to do.

I'm trying to get breakfast on the table.

Oh, yay aries aries face you know what tamara's making an effort but it's really like a guy trying to hit on a girl and she's just not interested oh my god shannon just stop stop shannon i mean stop tamara it's embarrassing

hey guys what do you guys think the girls are doing at the sleepover and gina's like oh probably getting out of their silk pajamas and jenny goes yeah Somebody else is definitely cooking.

And Gina's like, yeah, I don't know how long Emily's going to endure fancy pants before she fucking blows.

And then we cut to the sleepover.

It's the morning, they're waking up, and there's not just a private chef, there's like a private chef and a sous chef in the kitchen making eggs.

And they have little menus.

This is like the most unfun sleepover in the history of sleepovers.

I'm sorry.

Like, this is like, I understand that it's like luxury.

And like, if again, if this were the orphan movie, like, this is what you, this is what you expect in the orphan movie, which is like the kid wakes up and there's a private private chef and a butler who's very like dismissive but warm and also going to guide them along and like all these like oh master johnson wake up and

it's like but this is like in real life this is just patently ridiculous yeah there's like

a person to stick to put a stick up your butt you know it's like really like hello welcome to high tea it's a fucking egg heather okay we get it you're rich you're rich heather okay yeah and this is not even me being like oh my god she's so rich how obnoxious.

It's more just like, I just don't think the vibe, the spirit of a sleepover is that you then bring in a chef and have menus in the morning.

I think it's that you grow up and you make some shitty eggs, you know, and you, it's like, I feel like growing up, it's like, yeah, or like mom would come in and make some eggs or something like that.

Or like you'd like hunt around, but like having a, like a fruit spread and little pastries.

Heather, you just need to do a better sleepover.

It needs to be better.

Sorry.

Yeah.

So Gretchen's like, hey, this looks so good.

Is there any place to get a Starbucks around here?

And the chef's like,

we have a coffee service that will be happening for brunch.

Unfortunately, I do not have my own currency.

You were saying Starbucks.

No, I don't have my own dollars.

Starbucks.

Yeah, tie me over.

Tie me over with something.

Oh, my God, these people.

So she's like, I'm feeling a little hungover, not going to lie.

I hope I don't get in trouble.

Gosh, I do not let loose at this age.

Although I have been to the the Goat Hill Tavern.

And we see a flashback to Emily being like, y'all see, we're like real Midwest.

We drink at taverns.

Oh,

I've got a piece of pizza in my purse.

Gretchen patting herself on the back for going to the Abbey and like a die bar at 6 p.m.

at night in both cases is like the most hilarious thing in the world.

Like you are.

not letting lose, ma'am.

I hate to break it to you.

And also the way she like, when she mentioned the abbey and she like ran her tongue like through her lip.

she did like this look I was like

I was like am I watching V all of a sudden this was too much this lizard tongue thing that she did commercials here comes one right now

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Back in Tumecula, Shannon's like, oh, God, I just need to concentrate.

Could you please beat these egg whites until they're stiff?

Please.

Okay, okay.

I'm just worried you're going to have a heart attack and die, Shannon.

I mean, come on, calm down.

Okay, it's a little too fluffy.

So fluffy that you're gonna die?

Are you gonna, are you dying?

Shannon might be dying, you guys.

I'm so worried about Shannon.

You over, you over-whipped the egg whites.

You did it.

You ruined it.

You ruined it.

And now he's gonna leave you.

You talked about nothing?

Nothing.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I love being alone, and I definitely do not talk to my egg whites in the morning.

Don't do that.

Okay, let's put these, let's get these egg whites going.

All right.

So everyone, I hope you're all excited for a delicious breakfast of sweet cauliflower, rice, hash browns, and egg whites.

Okay.

Is everyone ready for this?

Fun times in terms of.

Wow.

You really whip those.

You really whip this stiff, Gina.

She goes, yeah, I have that habit.

Travis is an easy target, though.

What do you mean?

Travis is an easy target.

He's stiff.

He's always stiff.

Yeah, because like everything I do makes him really stiff.

Yeah, and that's like fun, you know, because me and Travis.

Please do not make me think of the tiny baby thumb sticking out of that fupa i did not come here for this

no i did i i i don't i don't want it no i don't want i don't want i don't know why

travis in my head

i don't know if i want i i i don't know why gina insists on giving us details about travis it's just that like the details themselves are boring you know it's just i don't need it so jen's like well have a question do you think you and travis will ever get married?

It's like, well, you know, probably, maybe.

I don't know.

Like, waiting for Bravo to give us like our own special, you know, and like, it's going to be called, I feel bad that I'm not married yet.

But, like, unfortunately, like, the offer hasn't really come through yet.

So, it's just like a lot of instability because of his circumstances, you know.

Yeah, like the fact that he's not fucking divorced, maybe.

Like, hello.

Is he, aren't they still not divorced?

Like, where are they talking about?

Yeah, I just think I have to be ready to be in the right, please.

Yeah, and he's still married.

Hello.

Yeah, well, it's like Shannon's tacking shots

for lunch.

You have a lot on your plate, you know?

Shannon, you know, you've got a lot on

your glass.

We've got a lot on the plate, but Shannon's got a lot on her liver.

It's a lot.

Okay, we just like wait to see what's going to happen next.

And like, you know, like, I'm just like not focused on things like a wedding because it's like it always seems so unattainable because like i know that's a priority and like that's always

uh i hate to break it to gina and to bravo but literally no one cares if these two get married like this is not this is not top of mind this is not a concern there's no curiosity around it there's no mystery no one's wondering like when like when are luke and laura gonna tie the knot like this is this is we don't need to spend our time on this thank you very much yeah um so she's saying that that he has a court date and he's trying to get full custody of the kids and he's exhausted and I feel bad and that takes a lot out of you, you know.

So then she says,

goes on for five minutes.

It goes on for five minutes of her talking.

Literally.

Do not give Gina lines.

Like, why?

Gina, I feel myself deflating reading, even reading the lines back.

I'm like, oh, God, please make it stop.

Yeah, he's been through so much trauma.

Yeah.

I'm like, I've never seen anything like it in my life.

You know he's like he's so into his children and it's like really hard in my mealies

please fast forward okay let's go back to beverly hills so the chef is like ladies and i use that term loosely we've got brunch for you all the pastries are warmed many okay they're already going into your purse

that's sort of my thing

So he takes orders and Emma's like, can I have a couple eggs over a horde?

And the guy's like,

you can do that, right?

He's like, well, you want, you want it like really cooked like that?

You think I'm crazy?

He's like, Well, I would never serve that, but you know,

he just goes, I would never serve that.

Yeah, I would never serve that to anybody in my entire career.

He's saying, Yo, make them however you want, okay?

Just make them, just make them travelable in a purse,

ladies, ladies.

We have a chef here.

Get your eggs the way you want them, okay?

He's just so happy he can see daylight because he goes back into his cell after this.

Can you do poached eggs?

It's like, oh my God, you guys are just being a pain in the ass to be a pain in the ass.

Well, I think this was a fair request because it's breakfast.

It's fancy breakfast.

And if you're doing fancy breakfast, you have to imagine there's going to be a poached egg request.

And then the chef seems shocked.

He's like, uh,

I can.

I'm like, sir, you're okay.

Eggs over

hard.

Yeah, that's, that's, that's a surprise.

But the poached egg, I think he should have anticipated that a little bit.

In fact, I think he should have had some already made.

I think he's just grushed out by them.

He's like, you're poor.

You're all poor.

Like, can I just put some powdered eggs and whisk them through to you, please?

Like, you people have no taste.

You have no taste.

But also, you have to imagine they're each having one egg, right?

Like, like, one egg over, over hard, one egg poached probably maybe two heather's gonna have an omelette they hired a whole ass private chef to cook basically for eggs yeah but store-bought croissants

some croissants yeah

i like it well done he's like oh well done okay yes you've got it okay because that's not a crazy request over hard is but well done eggs not crazy at all okay so she's like hello terry's here everybody it's my it's the partner that I have lots of sexy time in our secret sexy time penthouse, the incredibly sexy hunk, Terry Dubrow.

Hello, Terry.

Terry.

And he's like, hey, everyone, I've never slept so much in my life.

He's coming in like he's hosting the match game.

He's like, all right.

We asked 100 people.

He said, my, my wife has such fancy sleepovers.

How fancy are they?

She says that when you you go to sleep, a lady and you wake up as a blank.

Fill it all in.

All right, everyone, you're at Terry DeBrux's match game.

This is why he's on television.

All right, Heather, sit down.

Terry, sit down and be wacky.

You know, everyone, Terry would love a sleep divorce.

Wait, what does that mean?

It means you sleep in another room.

She's like, oh, yeah, that's what's happening right now for Slayton.

He just snores so much, I make him sleep on the couch.

Do you guys ever think about getting married?

Sorry, Gina asked me that they asked her that, so I want to ask you that.

And she goes, um, you know, it's just like I've never had an issue with like wanting to get married.

So like, yeah, I would love to.

Well, I remember years ago, I mean, this was so long ago.

I think this was when you were claiming that a casting producer wanted you to be in Malibu country, which, of course, the goal went to me eventually.

But it was a hilarious thing that you tried to even attempt to be an actress like I do.

I mean, last time I checked your IMTV did not have a pilot for CBS that was based around you.

Anyway, I remember years ago when we first talked about it, you were worried about financially getting

it in my trailer.

I don't think that you ever got to come into that.

Were we talking about that while I was having coffee with Reba McIntyre?

No.

Yeah.

God, where was that?

Was it craft services?

Oh, maybe I'm confusing it with when I was on Hotton Cleveland and I was talking with Betty White and she said that

that if times were different she would have liked me to have played Darthy on Golden Girls.

I don't it's it's hard to remember.

It's hard to remember.

Now I don't remember if you were there but I do remember Betty White suggesting I get you spade.

So was it then or

oh so that's where it all happened.

She said you need to get spade but you heard I need to get slayed and then

here we are.

So she's like, yeah, so you were worried about finances.

And she goes, oh, yes.

And Gretchen is very uncomfortable with this whole line of questioning, by the way.

She like her face automatically falls and she's very suspicious because she did this for a long time and she knows she's about to get pummeled, you know?

So first they get you over for girls' night and then they're going to pummel you in the morning.

So she's like, yeah.

And we see a flashback

of 2012 when she's saying, because Slade is trying to get caught up on some of the back dip and trying to get things resolved in court.

I don't think that we should get married.

Oh, really?

What was he trying to resolve in door in court what what back debt was that gretchen was it child support hmm

sathy goes well so now that you feel like that's all handled you're on the road to being wealthy someday so maybe you should get married and she's like well it's not that it's even that it's all handled i just feel like I've been with him for like 16 years and I know who he is and I just feel more confident, you know?

And she basically says that like, you know, like we're basically husband and wife.

I mean, we actually did a ceremony with an ordained pastor, but it's just like, you know, paper doesn't make us married or not.

In God's eyes, in our eyes, we're married.

I mean, who even needs laws at this point about who can marry who, right?

Which is why we should maybe take some of them away.

So anyway, the point is they're totally married.

Yeah.

So you have everything financially separate.

Yeah, are your bank accounts together?

I mean, listen, two tinies don't make a large, but still.

And Gretchen's like, no, we've never done that.

I have my own money, and my home's in my name, and I've always been very strict about it.

I never wanted a man to control me financially.

Okay, but you should have a man with some finance, right?

I mean, it's your house, so you make the mortgage payment, or does he like pay rent?

No.

Oh, okay.

Well, does he contribute?

He lives there too, right?

How do you decide who pays for stuff?

For instance, when the maid is done cleaning for the morning who is the one who pays her the 15 for it i'm just curious

well i mean it comes out of my account oh does he pay for anything um this is kind of weird questioning you guys okay so basically she's like really cagey about this so is what's going on here and this it really is a question because i don't know that slade owed so much money in back child you know the reports or whatever what we looked up from people magazine last week or the week before says something like 150 something grand that he owed in back child support right something like that so is he are they not getting married so that she's not liable like they can't come after her for that debt as his partner maybe

maybe

oh it's just all so i don't know i mean like it's like if this were real life these are definitely like awkward questions to be asking a friend like like i would never ask like who pays for what in a relationship.

But since it's real, it's but it's reality TV.

So, of course, they're going to ask these nosy-ass questions.

So, I understand on one level why you're just like a little cagey to like be talking about what like your husband pays for or doesn't pay for, especially on TV.

But the truth is, there's a lot.

I don't know why she just doesn't say,

like, yeah, I mean, like, you know, I pay for some things, he pays for other things.

It's like not really, there's, it's really not that deep, you know.

But, like, the fact that she's like, um, no, huh, what?

Weird.

And that's where it's like, what is going on here?

And Heather's like, well, Gretchen and Slade's financial situation is really none of my business, but it just never has made sense to me.

That's why when Gretchen proposed to Slade, we all thought it was bullshit.

I guess it's just weird, you know, when you see two poor people trying to figure out finances, you think, what's even the point?

Am I right?

If you don't both have $45 million to your name, it's really even interesting at that point?

So, why are they not legally wed?

And why does she pay for everything and refuse to put anything in his name?

I don't know.

So, she's like, it's just fascinating to us because you're so poor, you know?

We'd just like to see how that sounds.

And Terry's just like, oh my God.

I mean, look, we're just, we're one person.

We have everything in the same pot over here, right, Hev?

Gretchen,

Gretchen, if you were to say, buy a box of Cheerios,

do you each pay for individual Cheerios or do you buy the box in total?

I just want to know how it works.

Yeah, like as soon as I married Shane, we had a joint checking.

Like everything was joint.

I didn't decide to preen up.

Yeah, we never had that.

We never had that.

Well, that's strange.

I mean, what's the arrangement?

Does he work?

If he works, what is he paying?

I mean, he's got a crooked penis.

He has to have it worked on.

Like, what is he contributing?

So Gretchen's like, I need a nap after that coffee.

So Heather's like, by the way, have you ever had a chair massage before?

No.

Oh, I thought you had because you probably couldn't pay for the actual humans to do it for you.

Anyway, just curious.

Okay, sit in this chair.

Oh, sorry.

There's still some human hair on here.

Can we turn the electric function off?

Alfredo has already been removed.

Sorry.

Smaller space here, so we've got to double up the electric chair and the massage chair.

Don't worry, you'll be safe, probably.

So then they're laughing about like last night and like, oh my god, that was so funny.

Like, you guys got me in trouble last night.

You got yourself in trouble, Gretchen.

What didn't you do except have a great time amongst girlfriends who are youthful and relatable?

Well, somebody asked something about a pop song.

She goes, that was you.

Emily's like, yo.

And then you were like, she had an affair with a guy from Nelson.

Gretchen fully entered all of this into evidence herself.

She goes, you guys, stop it.

I don't know anything about that.

What's even Nelson?

It doesn't make any sense.

You told us.

No,

Slade said something about it.

I didn't say anything.

I said nothing.

Deny, deny, deny.

And Heather goes, Slade is your henchman.

We get it.

I'm like that.

They just call her out.

They have no problem just calling her out left and right.

But also,

they also don't seem to have a problem with her blatant lies.

Like, Gretchen is clearly changing her story.

She's lying.

And last time I checked, Emily went full nuclear on Katie for lying.

And then here's Gretchen doing it.

It's like, oh,

classic Gretchen's.

Yeah, when they just kick somebody off based on lies that Gretchen was telling and accuse that person of lying.

They don't see anything crazy about any of this.

this.

So then

Emily's like, you've completely taken this situation and you're making ghosts to the villains.

I'm just like, well, we were having fun.

It went further than I intended, but I don't want to be, I don't, I hope they, they aren't assholes and go running back to Tamra.

It's going to cause conflict.

Oh, Gretchen, you know that they're going to do that.

That's why you brought it up in the first place.

Come on.

You can't be stupid and smart.

You came onto the show.

You were extremely savvy.

You went right for Tamra and you were like, you had your, you had all your ducks in a row.

Like Gretchen was like, she came in, she was ready and she was playing the game.

And now she's going to act like, oops, oh my God, I said this thing.

You guys can't bring it back to Tamara.

And now it's going to be like, it wasn't my fault.

You know, they coaxed it out of me.

You know, she's going to play this whole game and it's all bullshit.

Yeah.

They're being bad friends by trying to hurt a friendship.

She's going to pull that.

You were giving information about Tamra willingly.

Yeah, and I shouldn't have.

I regret it.

Well, you, you said Tamara's a horrible person because she accused you of having an affair and you had to spend all this money that you didn't but you just accused her of having an affair so how is that different she goes well I mean it was on the internet isn't that what she said I'm saying the same thing it was on the internet so is it not true if it's not on the internet I mean it's the same thing she did to me wait when was this on the internet yeah you know that was this was you you said it don't try and make it sound like you just found this on the internet come on so you and Tamara are the same no we're far from the same it may look like we're the same person because I just give Tamara the same energy that she gives me.

And Emily is like,

no, they're the same.

Except that Gretchen uses more filters.

Other than that, I can't tell them apart.

Well, that was a rough sleepover, girls.

Please leave.

Get the fuck out of my house.

This is fine.

Well, I can only be here so long.

11.43 a.m., which means that our fun times have officially ended.

So you will, one of the Alfredos will see you out and I'm going to go back into my lair.

Thank you.

If you're still here when the fumigator comes, it kind of destroys the point of having the fumigator.

Please go.

Take all of your rags with you.

Thank you.

And I'll be taking back those personalized pajamas and returning them.

Thank you.

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Back in the other place,

yeah, they eat Shanna's brunch.

And it looks good, shockingly.

And

they start talking about Archie and kids.

And Shannon's like, well, when I leave, I always feel so guilty that I say, Archie, I'm sorry.

I'll make it up to you.

And I talk to him because there's no one else to talk to.

I mean, Sudoku doesn't answer back either.

That doesn't really stop me.

I just say, Archie, I'm 26, and don't you tell anybody different on the inside?

It's kind of funny because I always feel guilty when I leave him.

And I say, I'll make it up to you, Archie.

And yet, he never says to me that he'll make it up to me after I was framed for crashing into a house when I was just walking him because he insisted so much.

He was like, woof, walk me at 1 a.m.

And I said, fine, Archie.

And has he made it up to me?

No, but that's okay.

Cause I give everything.

I try to make these relationships work.

Yeah.

So then Jen is like, well, that worries me for you.

You're home alone with Archie.

I mean, last night you were saying, I think about you.

I have concern.

And I mean, you were talking about it in the hot tub, Gina.

So what do you think?

Gina's like, I'm concerned.

Oh, my God.

You're really only worthy if you have a man in your life waiting for you at home.

Yeah, I just don't understand these people without men.

What do you do without a penis in your life?

How do you live?

Is she going to kill herself?

Should we be, should we be, should we put her in a hospital?

What's happening to Shannon?

People can't be single.

You people are so ridiculous.

Shut up.

She's going to survive this.

The best thing for Shannon is to be single.

Have you seen the men she picks?

And what are you guys acting like?

You've got fucking Ryan at home and the other one's got Travis's fupa at home and his 19,000 children.

So, you know, sometimes being single is a better choice.

Wait a second, I'd like to weigh in.

You still got a therapy, Shannon?

She's like, um, yes, I do multiple times a week.

oh well yeah i mean no no i know yesterday what i have a question what takes you from i'm obsessed upset and pissed to like total derailment i was like geez maybe it's tamara constantly accusing her of being an alcoholic and trying to paint her as this awful person on tv time and time again and then just deciding that she wants to be a good person all of a sudden And Gina's also doing the same thing.

I mean, Gina's acting so innocently, oh my God, I just care about you, Shannon.

But she's totally concerned trolling.

I mean, how many times on this trip already has she been like, Shannon, I'm so worried about you.

You know, your health, like you could die.

Like, I'm really worried about you, Shannon.

Come on.

They're all doing this.

And then they're wondering why she's like slowly coming undone because you're undoing her.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, we do talk about catastrophizing in my therapy.

So for instance, a good example would be like, for instance, yesterday, I was looking for a can of tuna fish to have for lunch and i couldn't find it so i instead had three pints of ice cream and i thought this is a catastrophe so you know that's something that we discuss

yes well i'm not really sure what that word means but you know single people do like cats so if that's if that's what you're into then you should totally do it well i grew up like what you know you talk about like

you don't know what's going to happen every day that's how i grew up that's how i grew up you know i grew up in a bit of chaos and it was tumultuous tumultuous.

And my mom told us she was going to divorce my dad.

And I was in college and I came home for the weekend.

And the process server didn't get to my dad by 5 p.m.

on a Friday, which is the last time I'll hire a Marilyn Monroe impersonator to serve papers to my father.

Especially one that works with government hours.

So we came home and we had a barbecue and we played tennis as a family.

And I just felt so bad for my dad because we all do.

And we had to fake it for my dad, my poor, sweet father.

Yeah, but didn't you also say he had a drinking problem when you were growing up?

Shannon goes, you know what, Tamara,

Tamara, I just I get that you're trying to be helpful, but my dad is fucking 96 years old and he's a different man and there's just a certain level.

Like, I don't want to hurt my father.

Do you understand?

Why?

Because Shannon is like, why the fuck are you bringing up this like sacred detail?

I told you on camera right now, you're just going to like let everyone know that he has a drinking problem, which of course, you know, like I totally get it.

Although,

wasn't he like throwing back some martinis at the Merriman Road lunch too?

Although that's not really a problem, but like it's just

Tamara was being totally shitty in that moment.

And I love that Shannon just called her out right there.

That was hilarious.

And Tamara's like, well, I'm sorry.

I'm just not trying to hurt your father, you know, and if it makes you feel any better, drunk people don't feel as much.

Look,

she pinches her under the arm.

See, I didn't even feel it.

Tamara, I just, I, I, I, I, you say things like that.

He's not even like that anymore.

How could you do that to my father?

Yeah, how dare you?

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that a private conversation with Tamara Chudge would ever be brought up on camera.

How dare she?

I mean, we.

We will still, I remember the first season that Shannon was on and Tamara just was evil to Shannon and so, so evil.

And then Shannon the next year became friends with Tamara and were like, What are you doing?

This lady was terrible to you.

Be careful of this lady.

And she just kept on going in.

And now all these years later, she's like, Well, I cannot believe it.

I cannot believe that Tamara would use a personal detail against me on camera.

Inconceivable.

Yeah.

I'm just trying to help you, Shannon.

And she goes, well, that's not helping.

That's not helping me.

That's not helping me.

Okay.

Well, saying that she did have some struggles growing up.

I mean, that's all I was saying.

With an alcoholic father.

And it's probably why you're drunk, too.

Because it comes from a long amount of alcoholics.

So why are you arguing about it?

Even Gina said you'd be dead in your house with Archie eating off your face one day.

Drunk as a skunk.

Dead as lit.

That's what Gina said.

You know, your dad even called you an alcoholic.

Your dad called me drunk one time and said she's an alcoholic.

I'm just trying to help you, Shannon.

You know what?

I don't think that she said that to actually try to hurt you, Shannon.

Okay, because I feel like Tamra Tamra is gently trying to connect with Shannon and help Shannon speak about something that she knows is difficult for her to speak about.

Cause that's what Tamra does.

She tries to help people all the time.

Tamara's a good person.

And, you know, Shannon could die at any moment.

So it's important that they have these drugs.

So Tamara's like, to talk about this stuff in therapy that you go to.

Yeah, because sometimes this stuff is buried.

And so when it comes out, it's just like this whole bit.

You're just like, I, Tamara, i know what therapy is okay i went to a trauma facility where i was in therapy for eight hours a day eight hours for 30 days do you know what eight times 30 is no neither do i so i'm well aware

therapies i start therapies tamara

oh my god sorry jesus christ anything i say anything just jumped on my stretch i'm not your enemy okay i'm not your enemy i'm just a hot bitch who wants to ask questions about your alcoholic dad

so immediately she goes inside and she goes my life i'm not even gonna trap that bitch anymore drunk stupid why do you have another glass champagne drunkie

and then channel's like well for her to explain to me how therapy works i'm the one who invented therapy in the first way it's not pretty funny tamara trying to explain therapy to shannon no one has been to more therapy than shannon like shannon lives for that okay tamara you've been in therapy five minutes you don't get to tell people what therapy is like

Well, I have to say, I disagree with you, Gina.

I disagree.

Yeah, I think the statement about her dad, that's like not nice.

I think that she's right.

I think Shannon's right.

Gina's like, what are we going to do with this?

What are we going to do with this now?

She's like, I don't know.

Let me go see what's going on with that monster inside.

So basically, Jen susses out that she's like, Tamara is smart enough to know that she's not going to call Shannon an alcoholic anymore.

But what she's going to do is she's going to say, oh, Shannon, your father was an alcoholic, right?

And then create a connection to make us be like, so there it is.

So you're an alcoholic because it runs in the family.

Yes, basically and she's right and tamara's still going i have another glass champagne shannon i mean is it mirror anything i said her it's like i know i got through it

it's like okay but the dad comment uh you weren't making a dig no jesus she's just worried it's gonna make her look like she has a drinking problem because her dad did you know i don't think she cares about her dad at all she only cares about her reputation which i was trying to ruin by insinuating her dad's drunk so she's drunk too i mean what what is confusing here jen

i don't know it's just it's so confusing everything i mean but these are all necessary steps tamara you've ex you're you're extending an olive branch so that's what you're doing and tamara's like yeah well that long do you just expect me to keep on doing it you can only extend so many branches before the tree falls over right so gina's like i think it's like really good that you speak up yourself in the moment shannon like that offended you and it's good that you told her it offended you uh last time i checked that's what shannon always does i mean

like how much footage do we have of someone saying something to Shannon and her having a total meltdown and storming out?

This is like, I mean, this weird therapy, Gina, is so annoying.

She's like, oh my god, like, I think everybody's like working on it a bit.

Shut up, Gina.

First of all, now that said, Shannon is making this whole thing miserable.

She has made this whole trip miserable.

Like, they're at least trying to have fun.

And Shannon is like the misery queen, you know?

So, I know it's probably not easy for like Gina and Jan, especially to be stuck with her, but this isn't helping.

Like, yeah, yeah, like, you guys need to learn boundaries and like therapy, and like, possibly not die of kidney disease because I think you're dying.

Shannon, Jen, does Shannon look yellow?

I think she's yellow.

Hey, does anyone have a mirror?

Can we put it under Shannon's nose to see if she's still breathing?

Shannon's like, I am breathing.

I hear you.

I don't hear Shannon.

I think Shannon died.

Shannon, did you pass over?

I am right here.

I don't see her.

Did she disappear with Shannon?

Oh my God.

Was she taken to heaven?

I am alive and well because I just ate some cauliflower, some sweet, sweet, sugary cauliflower hash browns.

So now they're all in the kitchen, and Gina's just saying, you know, you guys are just navigating.

You're finding out your new normal.

And Tamara's like, you know, I really was hoping for the best.

I had all good intentions.

But no matter what I do, no matter how many shitty things I say, Shannon's just going to find fault with me.

And I don't think there's anything left for me to do.

Oh, apparently you can't call someone's dad an alcoholic anymore.

So

Jen is like, Shannon, if it makes you feel any better, she did say the comment about your dad was not a dig.

And I asked, and I said, I said, it felt like it was a dig.

And she said, it wasn't.

So then Shannon, like, sprells out her arms.

She does this move like she's like trying to guard a football player.

She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Of course she did that.

Of course, that's what she did.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

It's like, Shannon, are you trying to flag down a plane?

Yes, I am.

It's a plane called.

I don't give a fuck anymore about Tamar Judge.

I'm done.

Oh, my God.

she's moving her arms around like someone with a deadly disease she's possibly dying right now i just care shannon i just can't

um so shannon's like well i'm not a dummy and she's got an excuse and explanation for everything and i don't believe it anymore the 26 year old inside of me doesn't believe it the 28 year old certainly doesn't believe it and i don't believe it

I mean, these women are literally 61 and 57 years old and 26 as well on the inside.

And they're acting like they're they're in goddamn middle school it should be studied by the army

and that's the end that's the end of the episode

a big rowdy ridiculous episode so i guess we'll see what happens next but obviously the the talk about the the singing tamara's singing and banging potentially nelson comes to a head next week at some sort of dinner party.

But until then, thanks everyone for being here.

We'll be back on Monday with a Real Housewives of Miami recap.

And hope you all have a great weekend and we will catch you on the next one.

Bye.

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It's always a party on Allison Block.

Our way is the Amber Way.

It's the Foster and the Furious.

It's Amanda Foster.

It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.

Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.

She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella.

Itchels!

We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.

Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickolis.

Hava Nagila Weber.

You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.

Jamie, she has no less namie.

She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.

She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

Kristen the Piston Anderson.

Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.

K-Syra, Syrah, whatever will be, will Lauren Sillsby.

She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

Let's give a kiss a Reno to Lisa Lino.

Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg.

This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

She sure is swell, it's Raquel.

Yes, we canna, it's Sedana.

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.

Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy.

And our super premium sponsors.

She's V V I P, it's Amanda V.

Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.

Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.

Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.

Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

It's our queen, it's queen Laifa.

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.

Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran.

We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.

She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.

My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo.

We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.

In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.

G, it's Lisa H.

We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron.

She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.

Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.

The incredible edible Matthew Sisters.

She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

Rose.

There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

Meet, it's Ronit Feldman.

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska.

She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony.

Please don't stop.

It's Solian Pop.

Let's take off with Tam LaPlain.

She ain't no shrinking violet couchar.

We love you guys.

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