#3022 RHOC S19E13 Part 2: Seriously Funny

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Watch what crap is.

Watch what crap is.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens.

This is part two of a two-part recap.

If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one.

Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Go back and listen to part one, okay?

It's before this one.

Bye.

Enjoy the show.

So now they all start showing up at

Tamara's house.

And Emily is there first.

And

she's like, you know, she's just talking about the current.

We know, Emily.

I brought one.

I've got my own in my purse.

Just in case this one sucked, you gluten-free terrorist.

Well, look, I need a drink before I talk about Gratchers.

Gratchers.

Okay, yeah, i'll do that okay um

so uh can have i want to talk to you something about something okay i was personally surprised by some by the things that gretchen was saying because they were not on brand for how she likes to portray herself you know as this very christian person and which is fair and emily's like yeah because before we went to la to pick you up she enslated her daughter at this like prayer moment and i was like should i be invited to this which

did actually kind of make me laugh it's like okay, we're going to pray for safety, but Emily, we're not going to include you in this.

And then we saw that they literally gathered together and

cameras are here.

You know what that means.

Prayer time.

Give me a fucking break.

They stand behind the car and start praying.

I was like, can someone put this fucking car in reverse?

Make yourself useful.

Did they do this prayer before?

spreading these lies about about Tamara or before Slay did his stand-up and called Vicky Miss Piggy.

I'm just wondering when the prayer sessions are, so I can just like mentally prepare for them.

Just wondering.

Yeah, you know what?

People who are godly and pray like that, and the go spread rumors about people, they're hiding behind the Jesus curtain.

I saw her backstage.

I was like, okay, baptism, Tamara.

I know.

The camera sort of like lingered on her for a moment.

They didn't give her a full,

but they kind of gave like the music kind of did like a little bit of a half coconut.

It was like,

I love that.

Like, everyone who watched knows like that's why you have that's why it's so good to really like watch all of a show because if you just came in three seasons ago you do not understand the irony of tamara saying that but if you obviously are like a long timer you're like oh these these seeds they come back and as beautiful bushes later on in life

oh man that's so sweet saying tamara has a beautiful bush so

he's like yo i want to talk about la okay with gretchen heather and me.

And we're going to bed and we played a game.

And one of the questions was, who do you trust the least?

By the way, I was the one who made up the questions and asked, who do you trust the least?

Which of course she is.

I'm like, Emily's so ridiculous.

She makes the whole drama.

She asks the question.

She gets the answer.

And then now she throws herself under the bus to have a fight with Tamara.

That's how desperate they are right now.

But I don't even care because it's so fucking funny.

But there's also what's also sort of shitty about it is that like she's well, she throws Heather under the bus right now.

She's, and then she takes accountability and says, I said it too, but she gets to Tamara first.

And this is something I feel like she always does.

She gets there first.

So that way she gets kind of like the first wave of like, like anger, but like she gets the credit for being the one to say it, and which somehow makes you like more accountable when it's just more like you had a faster car, like you just, your schedule was earlier.

And so now Heather looks like more of the asshole because like Heather was like not accountable, whereas Emily was accountable.

And it's just just like, that's it's just shitty because like you create a trap.

Yeah, you create a trap and then you go and then you tell the person first and then you're off the hook when you're just as culpable.

And if anything, you started it, promoted it.

Like you started it on purpose and now you're doing the bare minimum to get yourself out of it to start other people to fight.

You know, it's just so Emily.

She does it all the time and Tamara falls for it.

You know, just like they all fall for Tamara's stuff every time, Tamara falls for their stuff too, you know?

And that's why this show is so fucking funny because they can just trigger each other so easily.

It's like why

those dominoes in sports, you know, when they make those huge intricate designs and you're like, surely this isn't going to fall.

And they all fall and it's beautiful every time.

It's beautiful.

But, you know, the other thing is that by Emily doing this, it's kind of like that perfunctory thing that they do on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills all the time when, you know, with the Fox Force 5, whenever people say like, you guys are just click, you guys don't hold each other accountable.

So they go through the motions of pretending that they are.

So this is Emily's way of saying, I don't just do whatever Tamra says.

Look, didn't you see that scene where I told her that I wouldn't trust her?

So, it's like, okay, like you're like, you're yes, you are saying this, but your actions show totally different.

So, but that being said, it was hilarious because she is saying to Tamara, like, I don't trust you with private information.

And Tamara's like,

well, no, my fear is that if things were to go wrong, that you would just like go look something up.

And that's like a legitimate fear.

Okay, but

but before we even go into all this Emily is the queen of looking things up I mean she came last year with a whole file on Katie and her divorce and her arrest or her whatever that she was going through and that road rage thing and everything else I mean she is the queen of doing research on how did the season begin yes

and Emily doing research it's like Katie spoke to a spoke to a nanny and told the nanny to go on to a podcast and then the nanny went on to a podcast

ma'am if you like, why don't you focus on other things than like who is like what low level like hanger on is like going on to what podcast?

Like who cares?

No one would know about this podcast.

No one would care about this podcast if you didn't like announce it on a megaphone here on this show.

Yeah.

Well, the worst, I think the worst stuff was the Katie, you know, this is what happened and you're divorced and your kids were taken.

That was terrible.

And you're, you know, then there was this arrest where she got someone else arrested.

She got this road rage thing, whatever all that shit was.

Like, she's the queen of this stuff.

So, uh, Tamara's like,

like you were saying, that hurts my feelings.

It hurts my feelings since you didn't say that.

How could you do that in front of a gluten-free baker?

I know it hurts your feelings.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I'm not loyal to a fault.

Hey, lady.

Do you remember earlier?

What did I, what was the first thing I told you when I came into my house, cake lady?

She's like, uh, you told me to use some fucking gluten.

That's right.

that's right

i am loyal to a thought

which is why i am actively not part of the trays of meekness anymore

i'm just so honest i'm honest with everybody what have i ever done to her that she would not trust me tamara's unpredictable i mean there's all kinds of articles that my husband's cheating on me i don't know where that came from i don't know okay so now you're blaming tamara for there being articles about your husband being an asshole i mean listen I mean, I think Tamara is an asshole, but you're all assholes, Emily.

And I don't know that I, I think that's pretty ballsy for you to accuse Tamra of spreading articles that your husband's cheating.

First of all, Tamara would be a little bit more believable than that because I don't believe anybody watching this show thinks, wow, there's a man with a really crazy sex drive.

Yeah, exactly.

I think that Emily thinks she's the Greek chorus on this show, but she's really like, she doesn't realize she's tipped into like enemy terror.

Like, she, you're not Emmy, you're you're a villain, and you think that you're being very relatable right now, but you're actually just being hypocritical.

So, um, to Emera's like, ha,

ha, she's like, Look, you have to admit that you do things like that, okay?

You can't just like have clean hands all the time, and everybody else is a villain.

She's like, What?

I can't, okay, and literally, you're pissed.

No, I can't, I can't, I cannot get fucking hurt by you.

I can't, I'm not hurt, I'm not pissed, pissed, I'm hurt.

I'm going up the stairs, I'm going up the stairs, and she looks behind to make sure the cameras are following her.

I'm going to stay, you guys, coming?

Okay, yeah, I'm going to do it.

So now Emily is stuck alone down there with a cake lady.

And

she's like, oh, well,

here we are.

She's like, yeah, I'm just staying over here in my little buttercream corner.

Buttercream corner.

Love that show.

I understand that Tamara's upset at me, but and I'll apologize to her because we've had a good relationship, you know.

And then Gina walks in.

It's like, hi,

you came at a good time.

What happened?

Well, Tamara's pissed at me and she just left.

Already?

We didn't even decorate cakes yet.

I think it's because these are gluten-free and she knows they'll be not worth the calories.

No offense, Lisa.

We just hear Clomping come down the stairs.

Tamra's coming back.

It's like, bit, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

Hi, but my feelings are still with the hurt.

So, um, Gina's like, Yeah, I'm feeling when you're storming off in your own house.

It's not a good storm.

So, Gina, Tamara hugs Gina, and uh, she's like, What's wrong?

Are you mad, Tamara?

What's wrong with y'all?

I'm like, I'm good, I'm good, don't even talk about it, don't talk about it later.

Can we finish this conversation?

Yeah, when I get done, when I get done, I'm busy right now pulling that clean-free stuff from the refrigerator.

Why are you like mad, Tim, right?

Because apparently I can't be trusted.

It just hits my feelings because I support and I support and I support railroading one person off this class every season and no one ever has my back about it.

All I do is support.

And nobody supports me, bitch.

We support y'all, right?

Look, I get name all the time.

Emily said something.

No, no, I don't think that's true because honestly, through this whole situation with Gretchen, I've been like trying really hard to support.

Like when Gretchen said those things about you, I was like,

let's hear the video.

I want to see Tamara having sex with someone.

I want to see Tamra cheating.

Like, that was me really supporting you.

Yeah, like, it's hard to see both sides.

Yeah, but for her to see another side to things, like, I'm sorry, it hurts you.

I don't want to hurt you, Tamara.

I don't want to hurt you.

Okay.

Well, listen, I want to tell you personally, like, I thought it was really cool that you fucked Danson

Well, yeah, I mean, I was kind of like hoping that you did because like, yeah, what are details?

And by the way, guys, I could have easily fucked him.

I could have if I wanted to.

And by the way, I talked to his wife and she gave me a screenshot.

Look at this screenshot.

It says Nelson and it says Nelson said that Jim Bajrandi just found him.

And they're like, Nelson and Hansen.

I fucked Nelson and Hanson.

Both of all their wives called me.

All 10 of their wives.

Tamara's defense that she won't go and look something up about you the moment she gets mad at you is that she goes to present some stuff she looked up about Jen

that she was that she's in contact with the wife talking about it and the wife is sending her screenshots this shit's so funny I love that she's uh

She's friends with the wife.

That's hilarious.

Exactly.

So she's like, yeah, Tim Patrancy just followed him.

Wait a minute.

Does she want dirt or does she want tickets?

Tickets to what?

I think she actually literally wants dirt.

Excuse me, I'm trying to grow a garden and I was wondering if you have any dirt that I can borrow.

I don't want to go to Home Depot.

So Tamara's like, I don't even follow him.

I don't even follow Nelson.

Yeah, because it's not appropriate.

Yeah, but as a fan and a millennial, like, that's okay.

That's okay.

Like, everybody follows Nelson.

so now jen comes check hi everybody hi oh my god are these cakes this is so beautiful wow everything's so beautiful thank you so much for having me cake thank you so much for being made out of edible things i love edible things thank you so much for being here

So Jen is saying, you know, I've been burnt.

I've been apologized to, and I just get sucked right back in.

But enough about Ryan.

This cake decorating seems like it'll be a safe place for me and Tamara.

So they are like ready to decorate and everything.

And now Heather arrives.

And this lady is basically giving like a

cake seminar.

But first the ladies are checking out the charcuterie and she's like, oh, well, there's a turkey here, which is, oh, oh, look, protein and a radish.

Okay, well, I don't know if I have to have any cake today because I already had some indulgence with this radish.

Okay, sorry, ladies.

No cake for me.

Have you seen Gretchen?

I saw Gretchen.

She actually feels BN.

Does she feel BN?

Yeah, I was going to wait for you to say you to say it so much better.

Thank you.

I feel BN.

That's not what I said.

Oh, Tamara's like, well, Heather told me that she actually believes her lies.

Maybe you told me that.

Maybe you told me this.

That's not what I said.

I said, Gretchen doesn't lie, but when she speaks, she believes what she's saying.

Oh, yeah, like a sociopath.

I did not call her a sociopath.

I just called her a poor Megan Kelly.

That's it.

But that's what a sociopath is.

She's saying a sociopet because she said she doesn't think that the sociopet did.

She says she's a sociopet.

She's dead.

Shoot.

Her.

It is her truth.

Oh, she's her.

So she's back.

Like how for Wendy.

She's like, she kept her mother in the bedroom.

She's now dressing like her mother and kid ladies in the shower.

She never said that.

I am saying she just believes the things that come out of her mouth.

Like when Wendy Malik said, I think I'm going to have a long and prosperous career.

I said, she believes it.

It's a lie to me, but to her, it's true.

Do you understand?

Okay, then what's Wendy Maddick?

A pooreopath.

Okay,

but that's the same thing we say about Katie.

She lies so much that she believes what she's saying.

Yeah, by the way, I talked to Katie yesterday, and I'm going to meet with her.

What do you think about that?

What do you think about that?

me everything.

What do you think about that?

What do you think about that?

We killed her.

No,

no, she's back.

No, don't do that.

Why would you believe that anything that she has to say?

We're going to sit with her, Tamara, because there's something she said that resided with me.

And then Tamara tells us,

yeah, something in my gut's telling me that Gretchen 100% told Katie that I drugged her.

Well, you already know that, but we know why Tamara is meeting with Katie because she needs an ally.

This whole cast is turning against her and she's going to go get Katie back on this show.

And not only is she getting Katie back in the show, on social media, she's going overtime.

They're posting photos together.

I mean, like just yesterday, there was one of the two of them.

It was like three identical photos, like just ever so slightly different.

And I was like, so first of all, Tamra's now positioning herself with the, with like the fan favorite at the moment, which is so Tamra.

She's so shrewd.

She's so, I mean, she really, she just knows how to play this game because now she's cozying up to Katie and Katie, who earlier this season was like, oh my God, everyone, Tamara's the devil.

And now Katie is with Tamra because she's the only one who's like being nice to her.

It's kind of, it's amazing how housewives politics works.

Yeah, it really is.

So Emily, it's like, wait, so you're going to sit down with someone that hurt me and my children?

That hurt her and called her racist?

That recorded her without her knowledge.

she went after you and then you're gonna sit down with her and you're gonna believe in this moment you're gonna believe what she has to say because that works for your narrative against grudging i was settled down turkey sandwich okay she didn't hurt you and your children okay

and like she called gina racist because gina was it was honestly it was rude what gina said and then like recording shannon without her knowledge okay sure but like it's this was not like shannon recorded people too yeah

exactly like this was not leaked to the press it was just something that she and her husband were basically giggling over because shannon was being ridiculous it's just these are not the worst infractions emily like get over it yeah and um so she's like well it's myself she has some detailed information nothing's wrong with detail father what you guys say details now since your past had said it

Yeah, well, I don't, I don't want to know anything because honestly, if you sit down with her, that really pisses me off.

And then you want to be upset that I said I didn't trust you.

Which is a fair point.

And so Tebra's like, yeah, but there's a big difference between that.

I mean, no, it's not a big difference.

It's worse.

Oh, this is great.

Can we just decorate the cakes that I got?

No, I'm pissed.

I'm really pissed off.

Okay, this would be more effective if you didn't have icing all over your face.

Been sitting there just like licking the icing spoon, which someone's going to have to eat that, ma'am.

Okay.

I know.

So now Heather, Heather, meanwhile, since Heather got there later, she doesn't even realize that there was a whole fight at the beginning of the scene.

She goes, wait a second, she's mad at you because you said you didn't trust her.

Yeah, I told her that.

Well, we all said that.

I mean, everyone knows.

Don't trust Tamara, right?

And John's like, well, I mean, look, she can dish it, but she can't take it.

And speaking of dishing, does anyone want to get some radishes from that charcuterie tray with me?

No?

Okay, that's fine.

Is there, where's the chocolate fountain to dip those into?

Because I'm not not really understanding the point.

Is there mayo for these radishes?

No?

Okay.

So Tamara's argument is, why are they all sitting there with Gretchen?

Who's done 100 times worse than what Katie's done to any of them?

And then I haven't a problem with her.

It's double standards.

That's double standards.

And it just makes me sick of this group.

So

now Heather

says this.

I love this.

So Tamara's in the kitchen, so Heather walks into and Tamara goes, well, I'm going to make cakes.

And this will be the last time I ever filmed.

after what you fucking did to me.

Heather to bro, she was me.

What did I do?

Yeah, Emily came here earlier to tell me all about what you did.

Heather to bro, because you don't trust me.

I'm hurt, I'm hurt, I'm hurt.

Oh, I'm gonna walk up the city,

I'm gonna walk up a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

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I love Tamara trying to pull this card of like, I will make cakes and then I'm quitting.

But then she tries to make Heather feel bad and she's going to come on with a strong offense, but Heather is like, does not even flinch.

She goes, Really?

Because I'm hurt by you.

You blew me off in New Orleans, and I sat down with you at a shitty restaurant that I had to pay for.

Both of us, and you weren't nice to me.

And then Shannon just told me the other day that you were shit talking my career again.

What a big fucking joke.

No, no, not that kind of joke, Alfredo.

I should talk to you.

Yes, that I'm in the groundlings.

She's not funny.

Does she think she can be a comedian?

Well, I've got Reba McIntyre here on FaceTime to tell you exactly what kind of comedian I am.

Take the mic phone, Heather.

Reba,

Reba,

Alfredo, go get Reba.

Go, go to her house and make sure she's breathing.

Put a mirror under her nose and make sure she's still with us.

Oh, God, please, please, Reba, still be with us.

No, that was a serious request, Alfredo.

So Heather has now managed to turn this, like, Tamara was ready to have a pity party and get mad at what Heather said at this.

And Heather's like, uh-uh, ah, guess what?

You're in the hot seat now because you talked about my comedy career.

So Tamara's like, well, let's ask all the girls of what that's what I said because I don't remember that.

Oh, so then Gina walks in.

And she's like, so Gina, what happened when you guys were in Temecula and my career came up and the Groundlings came up?

Did you just laugh the way the audiences laugh for me all the time because I'm a comic actress?

Gina just pauses like, oh, she goes, what are you going to laugh, Gina?

She goes, well, like, we didn't know what it was.

We didn't know what it was.

Well, Shannon told me that it was a big joke.

A big joke.

Well, Shannon said that we were making fun of her.

And Gina goes, well, I didn't know that you were like a comedian, Heather.

I mean, I've never seen this funny sign from you before.

Like, when did Heather become funny?

Like, I just don't know.

Like, she tells us, who's telling Heather DeBro she's funny?

Like, the sales associate at burglars?

Yeah, Gina got her funny line in for the season.

I'm very funny.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Alfredo at the door.

God damn it.

You see, I'm hilarious.

It's very funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because Alfredo didn't kick it to the side like I told him to.

You see?

You see?

Alfredo laughed.

Alfredo, just for the record, you were slow with that knock-knock joke we did before.

Thank you.

Thank you for the retroactive one.

Wait, Alfredo, why are you laughing?

What do you mean you're on with Reba?

Show me Reba.

Oh, she hung up.

Okay, well, we will get her back on the phone.

I'm glad she's still with us.

So, then Gina's like, well, I'm sorry.

so what, what do you think acting is?

Well, there's like different lanes.

And to be honest, I don't know you as a comedian.

Well, why don't you go watch anything I've ever done?

For instance, a 1997 pilot I did for CPS that never made it to air.

It's on YouTube somewhere, I'm sure.

I mean, look,

I think it's not nice for people to pretend Heather's never done anything.

I mean, Heather has done things, but when she says things like, well, why don't you go watch anything I've ever done?

Is anything even available i don't think it is i don't think i can just go on peacock and watch anything that you've done except this like i don't think it's available it's like in the vault somewhere i i actually do think heather has a point in that like she's doing like it is funny that she's doing comedy because like we just don't think of heather debrow as comedy but as as her friends they should be supportive but instead they just like shit on her which is really mean I mean, we're allowed to shit on her, but you guys are ostensibly her friends and you guys get free meals off of her.

So So you should be supporting whatever comedy career she's pursuing.

Yeah.

So she's like, wow.

So, Gina, you're my close friend and you have no idea that I was a sitcom actress for years.

And then we cut

to Shannon outside.

She goes, oh, well, I guess I'm the asshole because I brought it up.

And everyone in there is talking about it.

So I guess it's my fault now.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, it's not your fault because you did bring it up and you did bring it up in a disparaging way.

Like, oh, did you hear hear that Heather's doing a comedy?

So, uh, Gina's like, Well, I'm sure you were very, very funny when you were on all those sitcoms in 1994, but I'm sure you were.

But, like, I was in like fourth grade.

Listen, ma'am, you cannot come on here and talk about your love of 98 degrees because you're an elder millennial, and then you're going to like shit on someone else for also having something that was exciting for them in the 90s.

That's what I'm coming for you too, Gina.

It's also shitty with Gina's like constant age shaming.

Like, oh my God, like, I'm so young.

Like, how would I know?

Yeah.

And then you were her age.

And guess what you had accomplished by her age when she was doing that?

Nothing.

So shut the fuck up, Gina.

You know, don't make me stand up for Heather Debrow.

So this pendulum swings real quick over here.

Okay.

Like, come on.

So Gina's like, well,

I just don't find you that funny.

Okay.

And Heather's like, oh, oh, really?

And then, Emily, you want to make fun of me as an athlete.

That is funny and uh she's like

because she's basically saying like she means like look you want to make fun of me as an athlete fine that's funny that's fun but like i'm a comic actress you can't make fun of me for that yeah so she's like okay then you need to write down all the rules in hell okay for us like what's funny no it's not a rule because if i slightly go out of balance and that's the end of the world i can't even tell somebody pursuing comedy that they're not funny without them getting offended anymore

Am I

going

wrong?

Like, come on.

Should we flash back to the season where

Gina decided to launch a skincare company and Shannon was like, oh, I didn't know she was into business.

Gina's like, oh my God, how could you not be supportive of me?

How dare you just marriage my company?

Wasn't that a thing?

Which is gone now.

By the way, Carabella.

More like Caraba.

Bye.

Hey.

Cara, thank you.

Yes.

Thank you for that.

Well, maybe it's not gone.

I don't know, but we never hear about it anymore.

So, Gina is now Gina's the offended one, which is

the show.

So, now Gina is the offended one.

And she's like, Yeah, like Tamron could tell you to fuck off all day long, but I slightly go out of the rules.

And if that's not okay, she's like, No, Gina.

And I get the things like, I get it.

There's no standards.

Oh, so you're so afraid of confrontation, but not with me, Heather.

You're like afraid of everybody, but not from me.

All right.

Really?

I'm not afraid of confrontation.

You just think I was born with claw hands.

These were evolved from confrontations, okay?

You can only swing your fingers through the air so many times before they evolve into a tiny little claw.

But

you're not afraid of it with me, but you're afraid of it with everyone else.

And she goes, no, I'm not afraid of it with anyone.

Well, that's how I feel.

Well, how you feel is bullshit.

Gina is like Gina doing this thing of like, I can never say one wrong thing.

It's because you pretend like you were someone's friend and that you're supportive.

And then you say shitty things and people get really mad at that because it feels more duplicitous as opposed to Tamara, who they just know who Tamra is, you know?

Yeah, Gina's an asshole.

She always, she's just not a good friend on this show.

She's not a good friend to anyone.

Well, she's done this shit to Emily, too.

She's just not a very nice friend, you know?

So

it's like whenever she starts, and she does the same thing that everybody else does whenever she's called out, instead of just saying sorry, she's like, no, you're not funny.

Why am I the mean one?

Like, no, you're a victim.

I know she does.

So Heather's like, well, you were pissed at Tamara when we were in New Orleans.

I'm the only one that sat down with Tamara when we came back and said, my father was mean in restaurants.

Like, oh my God.

Like, oh, my God.

Like, all these bitches were also laughing at you and your lack of comedic ability.

Like, this is like bullshit.

I feel bad for myself.

So now they go off to talk on the side.

So Tamara's loving this, you know, because she got another fight started.

And so now it's not all about her.

So she's smiling now.

She's like, just we gotta segregate the cake.

So Jen's like, wow, you know what?

I just, I don't really view Heather as a stand-up comedian or whatever it's called.

I just, I'm sorry.

I just love like the once per season episode where they do question Heather's career.

Like it's just been going on for so many years.

And every time it happens, it's just the funniest thing.

Even Jen is like, I just don't see her as a stand-up comedian.

It's like, well, don't tell her that.

Be quiet.

I told her that yesterday.

Yeah.

But I mean, like, Jen, you were teaching Pilates classes in a parking lot.

I mean, come on.

You know, it's like, we can, I guess everyone has an opinion, but it's just like sometimes coming from some of these people, it's like, just look at your own life, you know?

I think that's an exact same thing.

Yeah, none of us see Heather as a, as like lady of comedy, but at the same time, I'm also going to like oddly defend her decision to go down this wacky route for herself.

Because actually, when she said it, like when Heather says that she's a comedic actress, I was like, actually, if you think about it, that is, that's what she does.

She just does sitcoms.

She does sitcoms all the time.

But that's, and isn't that so great?

Isn't that so beautiful?

That

is so serious.

In a grammar class, they're probably really impressed with her because that's the goal is to go do sitcoms and be on TV and stuff.

And also, improv isn't necessarily for the most hilarious.

You don't have to be hilarious to do it.

There's a whole bunch of stuff that goes into it.

It's like teamwork and all this other stuff that doesn't necessarily, it's not like she's getting up there and doing stand-up.

I mean, that would be different.

If Heather got up and was doing like the Reza storyline from Shaw's, where he's like, I'm a stand-up comedian now.

Whoa, have you ever seen Asians drive?

You know, shit like that, where you're like, oh my God, please no.

But I don't know.

Cut her a break, ladies.

Yeah.

So now she's.

I'm hilarious.

And if I had known this at the time, I would have been at that fucking show.

I'm telling you that.

I would have been 100%.

Like, I love this.

I just love this episode because I'm like bouncing back and forth between whose side I'm on, like, so quickly.

And I love when that happens.

So Heather is now sitting with Gina to try to like, she's going to do the, it's like in that movie Philadelphia.

It's like, explain this to me like I'm a six-year-old.

She's like, let me explain to you acting.

Okay, I have put my shit aside to raise my family.

And I'm now in a space.

a very large space with views of all across Los Angeles where I'm like, I'm back.

I'm your Drake.

And, you know, you don't know shit about my career.

Did you know that I did stand up?

Aha, I do do stand up.

Gina?

That's very brief.

Gina just gives the most condescending answer.

Oh my God, Heather, that is soul brain.

Did you know that women be shopping?

Women be shopping.

And it's hard.

And to say you're just going to jump back in, everyone in the class is 25 years old and it's terrifying and i have self-doubt am i still talented can i still do this why hasn't reba called me back is there a place for me out there

does anyone know jane leaves phone number so gina's like well you know i don't know you as heather page kent that actress who was doing all these comedy things and used to sing songs in the attic in her sorority house in syracuse university i mean because your personality is not like that and she's like oh so what you really want to do is surround yourself with people that emotionally support you or at least take your flatware to Nobu.

And I really thought Gina was that person on both fronts, but I was wrong.

Wrong.

No, I'm not saying you're humorless, Heather.

I'm like, I support you.

I support you.

I'm proud of you, my friend, for doing these amazing things.

I just,

do you charge for those things?

Do people have to pay for that?

Well,

I'm sorry that you think I'm so humorless.

Hey,

stop that.

So now we see Shannon just watching all of this, and Tamara's like, I'm just going to decorate these cakes because no one can stop fighting.

So gluten-free lady is like, okay, here's how we do it.

Here's how we decorate a cake.

And Emily's, of course, eating all the buttercream and shit.

And Shannon's just looking around, like,

are we going to actually have to do this?

Is this something?

Then we go back to Gina and Heather, and they apologize and make, or Gina apologizes and they make up.

Gina's like, yeah, Heather's very funny.

Okay, I was wrong.

She's my funny friend, but don't put me on a lie detective test and ask me.

Okay.

She's my funny friend.

And Heather does get one more look and she goes, and by the way, I had to audition and I got in.

So just put that feather in your cap.

Oh, I forgot.

You had to return your cap.

You saw that scene earlier today.

So they are back in the kitchen.

And now it's like wacky cake decorating, make the cake.

And Shannon's like, Well, I'm not really a baker, I'm more of a chef.

And then they just do a quick cut to salmon with cream cheese, right, everyone?

Oh, who doesn't want salmon other cream cheese?

So they are doing the cake thing where you splatter the icing down and you turn it around on the little thing, and they're, you know, whatever, making fun of each other's joke, you know, making fun of each other's cakes.

And we get Gina's like, oh my god, giving a below job.

john

we see their cakes um i think gina's actually gina has the best cake like i think by like a country mile she i think she actually makes cakes because gina's cake isn't even decorated on the side it's just like she puts some stuff on top

yeah but but she did but she did a clean frosting on the side and i think gina is the best i would say gens is number two for me personally she did a really good job with the um like the floor flowers all over the side yeah tamara's is the worst by far it looks like it's bleeding it literally looks like it's amityville horror like the walls are bleeding out of her cake it does look kind of like a circus tent that is yeah has been you know taken over by demons and now blood is coming out the walls yeah heather's doesn't look so bad it's not very smooth but it's kind of pretty

her they all look good honestly Yeah, Heather's top design is like the ring of flowers is like very well done, but her sides are not smooth.

And Shannon's is actually decent, but it's like a little lopsided and

like the top decoration could be like a little cleaner.

It's very Shannon's.

Very like, oh, I broke my readers.

Guess I got to decorate a cake without being able to see clearly.

There's just little pieces of the broken cup from earlier in the day, I'll ever.

Yeah, and Emily's is just sort of sad and lumpy.

So they're like, okay, judge our cakes.

And the gluten-free lady is like, um, no, I'm not going to do that.

Okay.

I will not be judging your cakes.

So now miserable Emily is over there licking off a spatula.

And Tamara's like, okay, everybody.

So after I left the tactical place, I was clearly upset.

So I called Nelson and I had a long, long conversation.

And so Gina leaves to go to the bathroom.

And, um, and she sent me this screenshot right here.

Nelson's wife gave me the screenshot.

Here it is.

Jen, Jen Petranti, following Nelson.

And Heather's like, who?

Jen goes, me.

Wait a minute.

Jennifer, who?

Me, Heather Petranti.

I don't know her.

It's me, Heather.

Did you bring my car around?

Alfredo, get our keys from Miss Lady and give her a five.

What, Tamara, like, why do you care about this?

Why do you, why do you have this printout right here?

And Shannon's like, oh, well, she just keeps coming up with the evidence.

She just keeps coming up with the evidence.

I keep coming up with radishes.

I'll have another one, please.

Thank you.

What?

Just have father name?

Jen.

Who's Jen?

Because

you guys have a situation and I heard about it.

And she said he was a producer or something like that.

So I was looking into the Shannon's like, oh, here she goes.

Evidence and videos.

I can't.

I cannot.

I cannot.

So now she's getting herself all worked up.

And meanwhile, Jen is just playing dumb.

She's doing the Jen thing where she's like, well, I mean, you know, I heard about the thing with you guys.

And I don't know.

I was just looking.

It was just innocent Instagram things.

But then it cuts to Jen and she goes, I was hoping that if I followed this guy and he saw my name, he would tell me some gossip.

That's why.

That's why I was doing it.

Why do you think I was following him?

Yeah, she's literally just like, yeah, I was being messy, you know?

So then she's like, oh, yeah, well, why do you feel the need at 522 to follow him?

Jen's like, you know the fucking time?

That's crazy.

You're so psychotic the way you're following the way I'm being messy.

So then they go outside again.

They've been going in and out of this house the entire time.

And Jen's like, this is fucking nuts.

I want to move forward.

But then you do shit like this.

It just like bugs me so much.

Like, how are we supposed to move forward if I can't look shit up on you and you don't look shit up on me at the same time?

So Shanna's like, well, why did you follow him?

Because I want to know who we're talking about.

That's all.

Yeah, but can't you look without following?

Why follow?

I know everything that Malik's doing.

I don't follow her on the Instagram.

I'm not a loser.

Well, I don't know.

I just followed him.

It's a little messy, Jen.

It is a little messy.

Okay.

She says, as a Manila

chucks out of her purse with information on Katie's whole backstory.

I know, exactly.

Guys, please stop talking about Dawson's tattoo.

He's really proud of it.

No, your behavior is messy.

That's what I'm talking about.

So now Heather goes inside, back into the kitchen where Tamara is, and Heather's like, well, I don't know why she followed her.

I mean, who cares if a maid follows some singer?

Like, everyone's got fans, right?

No big deal.

I just told her that she was being super shady.

Well, she went after me like, oh, I don't know, Heather.

You know what?

Heather, I'm just like, Dan, I'm done.

I'm done with the show.

I'm quitting again.

I can't take it.

She's going to quit again.

Wow, what?

I'm surprised.

She's going to quit again.

That's like me saying, I'm going to quit tortilla chips.

Good luck, lady.

And then they come out with lime flavored.

Mom!

Foiled again.

Foiled again.

I thought we were close.

For you to say that, Anna.

For you to say it, it deserves me so bad.

I'm going to quit again.

I'm going to quit again.

She's like, I don't trust you with my feelings.

Yes.

And then Tamara's like, just stops pretending to cry and there's no tears there.

And she goes, you can't trust me.

She's like, my feelings were hurt too.

And we should be able to talk.

But you don't want to hear what I have to say.

No, you don't want to hear what I have to say.

No, I heard what you have to say.

I heard what you had to say.

No, you didn't.

Then we'll just not agree.

You were very aggressive with me when I sat down.

You were so aggressive.

Heather.

It's called comic timing.

I am learning it in the groundlings.

It was comedy, not aggression.

You know, the first time in my fucking life, I know somebody who's got cancer.

How dare you, Heather?

How dare you?

So then Heather's like, I don't agree that I was aggressive with you.

Okay.

I sat down with you.

I tried to tell you this thing about my dad.

It was a piece of storyline for me.

I was starting my story.

It was the first beat, and you were supposed to, yes, and that's improv talk.

And you said, No, but, and I didn't appreciate that.

You did not want to listen to a story about how my dad screamed in a restaurant one time.

He just don't like me, Heather.

He just don't like me.

That is so ridiculous.

That is so sick.

That is so undude.

Yes,

and yes, and

I don't like you.

Yes, and I'm disgusted by you.

See, it's a full concept.

You proved it out when I'm beginning.

And I've been getting

it.

Ridiculous, Tamara.

So she drops it and drops her fake tears again.

She's like, I'm done.

She gets her drink and storms up.

I'm going up the stairs now.

It's it, it's it, it, it.

So

the producer is like, have you ever given these women any reason not to trust you?

And Tamara's like, I mean, um,

I'm not going to answer that.

It just makes me sad.

I know I'm not perfect.

Oh,

typical Bravo dark thing.

I'm not perfect.

I'm so sorry.

I'm not perfect, everybody.

I know I'm a good person.

I'm not a liar.

I'm not a cheater.

So for them to say that they don't trust me, that feels like an attack on my character.

And it makes me just want to shut down.

Oh, you guys will call me the U.S.

government yeah just do it already stop threatening us

so um heather rejoins the group and um

they're all like god let's just go because tamara's up there having another fit she's climbed up the stairs for the third time in the episode and quit for the third time they're just like oh god and shan's like wait i i we're taking the cake right

oh I mean, I, I didn't want to.

I just wanted to take it, to look at it.

I wasn't, how was I going to eat it?

So now Heather and Emily are talking and

Heather, Tara comes back in, and Heather's like, Do you need some help cleaning up?

And by help, I mean, do you need to hire some help because I'm not going to help?

And Tara's like, yeah, I'm good.

Don't you come watch her clean up?

He can't work for you.

I'm so sorry, but he can watch.

Just kind of, just kind of look at her shadily.

What are you doing over there on your phone?

Is that Reba again?

Give me your phone.

She hung up again.

I'm starting to feel like this is on purpose.

Do you need us to epoxy these items together?

Oh, they're not broken.

That's just how they look normally.

Oh, okay.

You guys are so mean.

You guys are so mean.

Everybody's so mean to me.

She's good out.

Yeah, I say everybody hates me.

She's just kidding.

She's having a great season, everybody, because I'm not going to be filming on it.

Have a great time.

Except for next week when I film with Katie and then every other episode after this.

Goodbye, bitch.

You'll never see me again, bitch.

Well,

in the backyard, meanwhile, like Shannon, they're like eating cookies.

And Shannon's like, man, this is a lovely cookie.

I mean, it's a little dry.

It's maybe it was tasted great at first and then a little disappointing is it?

These need milk.

The worst it's

sort of reminds me of John Jansen, so charming and appealing at first, but in the end, somehow you owe this cookie money.

I don't get it.

I don't get it.

Oh, wait a second.

Hold on a second.

Hello.

Clinic, it's me again.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I've got a dry cook.

Of course.

Of course.

Mayo.

These cookies need Mayo.

I would have fixed it.

So Tamara.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

Did you just call the Hayo clinic?

So Tamara is still going off on Heather.

She's like, oh, Heather, thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for

everything.

Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for driving up the hill and back again.

You're highly true.

You're a pal and I'm not

Are you, why are you seeing the Golden Girls theme?

Are you trying to trigger me because Reba McIntyre just saying that at the end?

That is not nice, Tamara.

Not nice at all.

So Heather tells everybody that she just quit again.

And we hear the door slam upstairs.

Tamara locks herself, barricades herself in a room.

And Shannon goes, oh, and I'm professional.

I'm unprofessional.

That is, get that camera the fuck out of my face.

I'm not talking.

Yeah, I'm the unprofessional one, huh?

so they all leave and gina's like wait a minute we're leaving the cake oh my god my gink

and they all leave their cakes of course they did well they were gluten-free let's be honest

yeah no no appreciation for lucy's art and that brings us to the end of real housewives of orange county

Thanks, everyone, for being here.

What a fabulous time.

And we will catch you on the next episode.

Bye, everyone.

Bye.

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