#3017 Below Deck Med S10E01 Part 2: Inspain in the Membrane

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Hi, everyone.

Welcome back.

This is part two of a two-part recap.

If you're wondering where part one was, well, go check in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes.

But enough of that.

Let's get right back into the episode.

Then,

so now we see a text from Captain Sandy.

Sandy has created a group.

Hey, everyone.

I'm making a group text.

I'm calling it Sandy and the Diarrhea Heads.

Okay, it's to Nathan and Tessa.

So Nathan, meet Tessa.

She's here at your new deckhand who is also sick.

So if you hear some retching in the room next door, that's probably her.

I hope you guys are feeling better.

Update me in the morning.

And remember, if you don't make it here, the whole season's canceled.

So no pressure.

But we do have KF Pacte here on board.

So get into a cab.

Okay, thanks so much.

13 hours before charter.

Do not forget to sleep, Josh.

And Josh is like, you're going to have to force me to stop working.

Tampering.

And so now it's time to go to bed.

And now it's 2.35 a.m.

Someone looks at their wiener, which I thought was really funny.

I just think in bed, was it Max?

I don't know which guy it was but somebody just like lifted up the covers and just stared at their wiener for a minute in the dark and then put the covers that was probably max that seems like max max behavior is it

it's next day 6 a.m and six hours before the charter and uh v is checking the uh the the dryer and everything max is checking with josh uh he's like asking if josh slept well and josh is like no man uh you know i had listened to music all day so i had to put some music in my air.

I found it kind of helped me, you know.

I used to work in kitchens where we didn't have much music for years, and I didn't really have much it affected me until I left that kind of work and I would go home and I would just shake that tambourine for hours on end.

And I was like, wait a second, I need to incorporate this into my cappachias.

So he tells us that the box they want you to fit in at a Michelin star restaurant is like robotic.

And he's like really creative guys.

He's got long hair.

So he had to get away.

and he really sees himself as an artist and he enjoys all sorts of different mediums writing writing music playing guitar dressing like rock stars

creating different styles of food

rubik's cubes um penis art penis puppetry it's all part of an art form guys he'd wear no he'd wear nail varnish but he can't because he has to work in the kitchen and it might come off in the food but he's that much of an artist he would even wear nail polish.

So rebels.

Wow.

Rebels.

Wow.

Did Basquiat just come on board?

Because this man is an artist.

He is one thumbnail away from being at the MoMA.

He's got AirPods.

So he's basically a Grammy winner.

Okay.

Who loves his music?

Somebody's like, oh, so you need music.

Okay, well, let me, let me find me a little tam-tam-tambreen.

You know, he's like, oh, he's like, got one right here.

You never know when you might need it.

You need it right now.

Because now's the moment you might need it.

Yeah, we're going to jingle, jangle, jungle in here.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

now Captain Sandy receives a text from Nathan.

He's like, feeling better.

Be there in 20.

How do baby crabs work?

So

now more cleaning.

commences and

crew uniforms need to get done.

Come on, guys.

Come on, V.

And she's like, all right, here's how you do it.

Just throw the uniforms in and do Express 30.

She's like, I see what you're saying.

Do you?

Yeah.

Go to Express and 30.

No, the washing machine, not the store.

Got it.

Go to Express.

I know a deaf person.

We've already covered that.

Please don't make me.

Being a steward, my technique is called wigging it.

That's my technique.

So now Nathan is walking up to the boat.

I was looking for any signs of clenching.

It's like, sorry, I know produce, he wants me to have a nice slow-mo walk up to the boat, but I really need to get to the loo.

But he says, hi, and Sandy's like, he's like, oh my God, I'm so glad you're here.

How are you?

Did you bring that crib you're working on?

He's like, no, I couldn't.

Yesterday was a disaster.

Not only did I have diarrhea coming out of every hole of my body.

but I still couldn't figure out that damn crib.

But we're here.

We're going to make it work.

Yeah, well, the guys did a real good job.

You know, Max said a lot of things in French and threatened to cut people's heads off.

So that was fun.

I love a go-getter, you know.

So

Max has more experience.

He's got more than the other two.

So I'd go with Max.

You know, just go for Max.

I love him.

You know what?

Max, Max got some, what do they call that?

Where they tell you things in your brain and it tricks you into doing it.

He's been hypnotized.

So I think he's the, you know what?

He's basically the captain now.

Okay.

Guess what?

Max is now the lead producer on wind.

i quit what am i even here for max is amazing she's gonna eat those words so hard she's going way too hard for max and this isn't like sandy right right yeah it isn't but maybe she has a new attitude so

nathan goes in he meets christian and nathan and the and everything he's just more like oh where do things go everything

and

And,

you know, Nathan's giving orders about go to this port side, go to that side, whatever.

Josh has is making food in the kitchen and nathan's looking at cvs and now finally we meet tessa tessa who also was sick is finally arriving at the boat

oh oh where is tessa here she comes and max is like oh trouble is coming blah

take a look give him some time just don't name the lead deckhand right yet give it till charter three before you say max is president of the boat Okay,

and Max is already in love with Tessa.

It's like, look at this princess.

Hello, Mademoiselle.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Yes, you walking tildo.

Walking tildo.

Bonjour, madame.

Where are you from?

She's like, baby, babe.

She's like, oh, I don't understand that.

She's like, well, I thought about coming yesterday, but then the thought, just the thought of shitting myself on the dick, I just couldn't.

I couldn't do it at all.

God, I love those boys.

My last team boats have been 120 meters plus.

I'm used to working with the team of 10.

10 boys who I raised from babies.

Okay.

You know, we get a job, but jobless at the start of the day and have no rules.

So in my man, I'm just like, oh, this will be easier.

It's just like a small scale of what I'm already used to on the McBee family firm.

Okay, go change.

Please don't speak in that accent anymore, sir.

Oh, God.

I have not saw it.

You can't take the country out of the country girl.

You can take the country girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl, Maria.

Deck crew, Deckrew, meet me on the main deck after the preference sheet meeting.

For instance, a good example of a preference is I prefer her not to speak in that crazy voice.

Okay, thank you so much.

Gays, my first preference is not to let Tessa sing.

You are the wind beneath my wings.

I actually am okay with that song.

It's a nice song.

That's a good one.

It's actually a good one.

It's a good one.

Now we have our

meeting.

Preference sheet meeting.

Separate rooms, everybody.

Separate.

I like that in all the years of Below Deck, they finally decided to change up and they're like, we need every producer on every Below Deck ever invented in one room.

All right.

What are the new ideas to keep this show fresh?

We should have preference sheets in different, preference sheet meetings in different rooms.

Oh my God.

We're here for another decade.

We're here for another decade.

Margaret, you just got a raise.

I love this idea because before it was a captain telling the heads of departments what to do, but now it's the heads of departments telling other people what to do.

It's just a whole new show.

I love it.

And what was this?

How about this?

Everyone gets an iPad that they can use for 10 minutes to look at the preference sheets.

Why cannot the find dildo on here?

There's child blocks on there, Max.

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, preference sheet meeting.

So let's find out who these people are, guys.

The primary is Carl.

I'm Carl.

I'm a serial entrepreneur.

I'm renowned in the world of non-alcoholic web startups.

I'm really into web startups who don't drink.

Soft Bitcoin.

Give me a soft.

Soft cyber cyber current

Bitcoin.

So

okay, so he's a douchebag.

Friends of Carl, Eunice Philip, Jess, Maria da vinci and his fiancé alexandra hoping for a luxury professional save is on his trip

one day one day one carl and his group want to indulge in the water toys and get ready for their bitcoin extravaganza oh fuck off are these really bitcoin people who really wants to if you're a bitcoin person do you really need everything to save bitcoin and have bitcoin parties is there really that big of a thing like what is a bitcoin extravaganza like bitcoins don't even have a tangible form.

Like,

is it that like you have to, like, sit there and like wait for a computer to find a cake?

And it's like, oh, we did it.

Now we get to eat the cake.

Yeah.

It's just a bunch of dudes sitting around going, brah, Bitcoin's going to be at a million by 2030.

You heard it here first.

You heard it here first.

Oh,

softcoin.

All right.

Well, day two, the group would like to explore the charming coastal town of Sitches.

Okay, cool, cool.

Okay, so everyone, let's get to it because we've got guests coming in one hour.

Glad we read through their preference sheet with only 60 minutes.

This makes a lot of sense to do it this soon before they arrive.

You know what I like doing?

A preference sheet meeting after provisions.

That makes a lot of sense.

That's such a good point.

Let's talk about the guests and prepare five minutes before they come on board.

Okay, this is going to be great.

Just everybody walk around and say Bitcoin a lot.

Okay.

So

everyone goes into different teams and everything, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

Josh is flirting with Kizzy.

He likes her perfume.

And she's like, oh my God, he's flirting with me.

Can't wait till he dies.

So Aisha is happy with cabins and it's time for the dock.

Here come the Bitcoin people, which means there is one extremely homely person with a really hot wife.

At least one.

We know there's going to be at least one.

In this case, his name is Da Vinci.

And he says Bitcoin every other five minutes.

He's like, yo, bro, the boat and Bitcoin belt.

Am I right?

Oh, what are we on?

I see a Bitcoin.

Yes.

I'm like Captain Ahab constantly serving for Moby Bitcoin.

I do believe that he's.

20,000 Bitcoins under the sea.

Am I right, everyone?

Hey, you.

I do believe that he's rich, though, because he really does have a hot girlfriend.

Yeah, it's true.

And it's not coming from his personality or his looks.

No, it's not.

Hey, hey, everyone.

Welcome to Motor Yacht Bravado on Bravo.

Bravado on Bravo.

See, it's wordplay.

Okay, it's confusing to you.

That's okay.

Asia's going to show you around the boat, and we're going to head out to sea and get your first anchorage so you guys can get in the water.

Because guess what?

America wants to see your pasty bodies.

Okay, come on.

Let's have fun.

So Asia gives the tour and

she's showing them the aft act, the aft deck, and they're talking about breakfast service.

And one of the guests is like, oh my god, we're gonna have to get you one with diamonds, honey.

And Christian's like, oh man, I guess I need to buy Bitcoin.

Jeez, they're really rich.

They're talking about diamonds.

I find that really rich people don't talk about being rich that much, really.

Do they?

Unless they're faking and about to go broke.

Rich screams worth whisper.

So they look at all this stuff.

Oh, jet skis and

decks and everything.

And this guy's like, Max is very excited.

He said, oh, they're Couteau investers.

You know, they're like Robespierre of money.

And Nathan is

like saying, oh, he probably wipes his ass with like a 50 Euro note.

So there's the tour continues.

Tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour, tour.

The more

nice.

What?

No, I was going to say the primary suite's really big this season.

I was just going to say that.

That's all.

Oh, it is.

It sure is big.

And then there's a room with two little twin beds.

People are all mad.

They're like, wait a minute.

We're not splitting this evenly, are we?

Because this is all on fair.

And Asia goes, you should see all rooms,

which I thought was funny.

So Captain Sandy's like, I lived in Barcelona for years.

I know this marina like the back of my hands.

Are these even my hands?

Whose hands are these?

When did my hands get this?

I need different hands.

Give me my hands back, please.

Wait a a second i got a freckle now huh well you know i love it here in barcelona this was like my old stomping ground you know i was the they call me the gigi fernandez of wally ball in barcelona

but you know it's uh you know what you you know you got to have experience getting off the dock should be easy and when you have experience you know where the you know you know where to place the people and entrust them and i trust nathan i know we can do this i know we can run a boat.

I mean, it says easy as putting together a crib.

Am I right?

All right.

I'll have Tessa and Christian on the stern.

And the guests are looking at their monogram towels and like, oh my god, it's B for Bitcoin because we like Bitcoin, guys.

It's B for Buck Off.

But fuck that.

Shut up.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

But you're stupid.

Okay, so lines are safe to drop, guys.

Lines are safe to drop.

Let's do it.

Drop the lines.

Blow line release.

Line clear.

Stir slides.

Not wrong.

We're all going to die.

Captain Glenn is somewhere like, why isn't she talking about how everyone could die within the next three minutes?

Adventure.

So the lines are going up and everything.

And meanwhile, they're trying to leave, but everyone, like all the deck crew has questions.

Tessa's like, oh my God,

the bridge thing is not going in.

The button's not working.

How do I do this data?

He's like, All right, well, you know, hold on, we gotta take the lines out.

What about the lazarette?

We have lazaretta.

What about the forward peak?

What about the forward aft?

What about the boat?

What about the crib?

What about are there any ants around here?

And he's like having to run around, like, but how do I do this?

How do I press a button?

You just put your finger on it and you press, but do I do it this way?

No, you're twisting it.

But how do I put it around?

It's like, just put your finger on it and press.

I don't get it.

Uh, and finally, it's just like, ask the engineers for help, please.

Jesus Christ.

It's like, ask York, please.

Yeah, ask Barky.

Okay.

And Max has the starboard.

He's like, clear, channel, clear.

I cut off its head.

And DaVinci's like, Bitcoin, Bitcoin, Bitcoin, Bitcoin.

Carl says, Yeah, there's always bigger yachts, but you can never have the biggest yacht.

Unless you're Jeff Bitcoin Bezos.

All right.

Engineer, engineer.

Engineer, engineer is Tesla is Tesla, please.

Please, I'm about to die.

I can't cut the Lazarant.

Back onto the boat.

He's like, don't do it over the radio.

Just go down.

She's like, oh, is he down there?

I'm sorry.

I don't even know how to use radio.

So he's like freaking out because everything's going to shit.

And he's like, yeah, I can see this team's not really capable of giving 100% quite yet.

Oh, I'm all set.

Thanks, Nathan.

God, that went smoothly.

Hi, everybody.

This is a big one.

You did it.

So Nathan's like, oh, God, this is a nightmare.

So,

like, yeah.

So now he's giving some more

orders around.

Aisha's asking, asking the guys what they do.

And this guy, Philip, is like, you have a real estate company in Dubai.

And Carl's like, oh, in Dubai, you can buy anything in crypto.

You can get like even a functional non-alcoholic bar there.

Brick and mortar.

Buy it all in crypto.

Scott's really into crypto.

And every time he tries to talk about it to me,

so yeah, I'll crew, all crew, 10 minutes, 10 minutes.

And they're like, yeah.

And DaVinci's like, yeah, I can order cash to my house.

They bring me $10 million whenever I want it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't get to keep it.

I only get to keep the $5 I'm allowed.

But, you know, it's cool that they bring it in in a bag that has nine million nine hundred and ninety five thousand other than ninety five ninety nine but we get it we get it you only get five dollars

so

it's like okay everyone all crew eta in 10 minutes eta capri Capri pants are arriving on a on a taxi in 10 minutes.

Get ready.

Get those ankles ready to be exposed to the sun.

Get that suntan lotion out because the capri pants are coming in, everyone.

Get ready for that two inches of pure suntan on those ankles, everybody.

Let's get to it.

It's like cracking the window in your car on a hot day, you know.

So Josh and Nathan are talking, and Josh is like, Hey, Shagger.

And he's like, Hey, Tope Shagger, I'm going to behave myself this year, though, telling you I'm on my best behavior.

And he's like, Whatever, I don't believe it.

When's the last time you talked to girl?

I love girl

a two days ago i think he's like oh really so you guys are far he's like no yeah we're friends yeah oh

so they broke up which is good to know because the previews are like nathan's cheating on a pregnant lady all season long so it's good to know that they're at least broken up which by the way Just goes to show, like, Gail, like, one of the hottest people we've ever seen on Bravo.

And even, like, this, like, you're not gonna, gonna you're not gonna lock that down nath i mean obviously he does eventually but like seriously this is just this is this this life is just not fair yeah you know yeah men are still gonna men are still gonna look for something else no matter what men are gonna man

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So you guys saw each other for six months?

And he's like, yeah, until Christmas time.

Uh-oh.

He broke up with her at Christmas?

What the hell?

What's wrong with him?

He says he cut it off around Christmas time.

That's the one you want to have a baby with, ladies.

That is the one.

Yeah.

Get him now.

Well, after the season, we went traveling for six or seven weeks together.

And then we tried to maintain it, but the distance was an issue.

And because of how busy I was working 13 hours a day, I just wasn't sustainable.

Also, she kept on trying to have me build small little structures, and it was too difficult.

Oh, well, it's hard doing distance when you're like fully comm unless you're fully committed.

Which, of course, why would you ever fully commit to a gorgeous supermodel that for some reason works on boats?

I just have to fuck around.

It's like, well, you're a young man.

That's what you're supposed to do.

And Joshua's like, yeah, he's a fucking shaggy.

That's right.

All right, put the tambourine down, please.

We don't need that right now.

So

Carl has something to say.

It's always such a calm feeling on a boat.

Oh, yeah.

Da Vinci says, you're going to buy one?

You're going to buy one, Carl?

You want me to order $10 million?

What's your budget, Carl?

What's your budget?

He's like, I'd say 30 million.

I'm like, yes.

I'm really glad he enjoys how common it is to be on a boat.

You know, the sort of thing that makes most people want to vomit off the side of it.

And then if, you know, you're unlucky, it like

perishes and you all die.

Coming.

Very coming.

Well, I'm ready when you guys are two shackles, two shackles, two shackles.

So now Asha is telling V to go run some plates for lunch.

And V is like, is it okay to be in socks for lunch service?

I'm just like, oh, please wear your shoes.

Where did we find these people?

Who the hell is this person?

Is it okay if I just like show up in like some gym shorts and like a crop top?

No.

Can I please feed the guest booger straight from my nose?

No.

The fuck is this crew coming from?

Okay, so then Josh is like, okay, these are sourdough chia butterwills.

Get them out there.

I'm an artist.

So now

it's time to get the naughty boys out, guys, because water toys need to be out immediately within 45 minutes.

This is a Captain Sandy vessel.

Yes.

So the first thing that has to go out are the naughty boys, which, as you may know, are like those kind of like floating platforms.

I'm not.

skilled in this area.

I don't have any experience, but as far as I know, it's like you inflate them and then you tie them to the boat and then you're done so seems easy but apparently it's not we learned today that it's very difficult no

that guy christian sits down there trying to get these things tied for what they make seem like an hour i mean they make it seem like it's 10 hours what is happening over there they've got a lot of a lot of naughty boys stuff to do.

So they are, yeah, they're like inflating it forever.

They're trying to figure out the pump, But like, it seems like they're already inflated.

They just can't seem to like wrangle them.

Like, wait a second.

How do we tie this to this?

The water keeps moving.

It needs to stay still.

Someone tell the ocean to stop it.

Stop it.

Cut it out, ocean.

And Tess is like, should we attach it before we keep blowing it up?

Or do we blow it up first?

And yes, it's a disaster down there.

So meanwhile, quinoa salad's coming out.

Baba ganoush, you guys.

Baba fucking ganoush is coming out.

Yeah, bro.

And Carl's like, um, you still have that 22-year-old Russian, right?

DaVinci's like, yeah, we're talking about the chef here.

Wait, oh, because just one of the guests is like, we have a chef every day, every meal.

You guys are not really rich.

I don't fucking believe you.

Rich people don't talk like this.

Yeah, bro.

I'm about to spend 30 million on a boat.

Really?

Well, we have a Russian chef every day.

Yeah, this is how a rich person speaks.

You know what?

I just love to cook.

I've been unfortunately, I'm really busy, but thankfully we have this wonderful girl named Pasha who's from Russia.

And like, she's just great.

And I try to get in there as much as I can, but, you know, sometimes I just have to say, Pasha, just do this for me, which is like rich, which rich wasp for like.

Pasha cooks everything.

I don't even go in the kitchen.

But like, if you're wealthy, you try to pretend like you still do it.

I love her.

She's wonderful.

We just go to the farmer's market together and we just, we look at all the fresh produce and we talk about what the meal is going to be.

We sort of arrange it all together and she executes it.

She's so much better than I am.

I mean, sometimes I can't go to the farmer's market, so she just goes on ahead without me, which is also rich for

she goes to the supermarket and I stay back and watch TV.

Yeah.

Like, who knew that you could find a child locked in an airport, take him home, make him a part of your family?

And I mean, the way she cooks, it's like she can see into me.

You know, God.

I mean, what a talent.

What a talent.

So anyway, do you guys like tuna?

You know, it's like a subtle, it's a more subtle way of bragging.

But these guys are going to go, wow, fuck yeah, we got fucking Bitcoin and $30 million delivered to us every morning for breakfast.

It reminds me of Caroline Fleming when she brought the ladies of London to Denmark and they went to a restaurant.

And she was like, you know, you know what?

I love comte cheese.

They don't have it here, but I remember coming here once and I asked, do you have comte cheese?

And they ran all over the city just to find comte cheese for me.

Isn't that the sweetest thing?

Which is her way of being like, I yelled at them and said i'm a fucking member of the royal family and if you don't get me comte cheese i will never come back to this restaurant ever again right because the point wasn't like oh i force them to get me comte cheese it was like isn't the stuff here just so so accommodating to just such wonderful people yes

so now they're i mean this food does look great he's uh josh maybe is a clown but he does look like he makes good food i mean he's making

a ton of food.

And the lamb chops, they cut into the lamb chops, they look perfect.

I mean, you can see with a lamb chop, you can tell.

I mean, they kind of bounce off each other when he puts them on the plate.

They're juicy, they look like they're cooked perfectly.

Impressive,

impressive, Josh.

I did not see this one coming, I have to say.

I liked his like platter of fish, he just had like all this fish that came tumbling out at one point.

I was like, that's cool, you know?

Yeah,

so then, um, naughty

45 p.m time spent launching naughty boys 15 minutes deck crew deck crew can i have one person to the boat for the life jacket to retrieve the jet ski the jet ski is now so we have another moment where shit's just floating out in the middle of the ocean yeah it's almost like a ritual at the start of a below deck season something floats off into the into the distance And now Josh comes, brings more food to the table.

And while that's happening, we see now it's been 30 minutes spent launching the naughty boys, which again,

floating platforms that just need to be tied to the boat.

That's it.

Just something's floating.

You put it in the water and you tie it on.

That's it.

Yeah.

That's all.

No one can do it.

They can't do jet skis.

They're like, oh, we can't get this thing tied.

How are we supposed to get jet skis out?

And Carl's like, yeah, I can't do jet skis.

Those are really hard.

So whatever.

Guys, the crew are going to get the water toys in.

By the time you finish here, everything will be in the water because everything's going perfectly this season.

And I'm sure everything's already out there just waiting for you all gassed up and ready to go.

Yeah.

So Max is telling us, Netan tries his best, but I think he's got different management strategy as me.

I'm not going to whip you with some, with, with the, this, the, the shame and say, chamis.

Chamis and say, let's fucking do it.

I won't whip you with shame either.

And I'll take my guillotine out of my suitcase.

Max, you have no leadership skills.

What is he even talking about?

And the producer is like, did you pack your guillotines?

Oh, yes.

I always pack my guillotine with me.

It's a bit expensive when I travel, but yeah, he's with it.

Humor, Robespierre Humor.

So Nathan is watching them still try to get these things tied, which they still can't do.

And he's like, I think we need to get a system down here.

And Max is like, yeah, we'll do a knot chorus.

Shouldn't you guys know how to do knots?

You work on a belt.

Isn't this like base?

This show worries me.

It really does.

I mean, Barkett can't do everything.

He's one man.

Yeah, it's too much.

So Nathan's like mortified.

He's saying it's a disgrace.

And he's like, oh, God,

this is really terrible.

And so they're just fumbling about, you know, trying to get these toys out.

And he's like, Nathan's like, just get the Jetskis out.

Like, don't worry about these naughty boys.

You know, but they're like, and Tessa's like, but worry about the panel boards.

He's like, on the sourboard side, for fuck's sake.

So Sandy's watching it all and she's like, you know what?

This is Nathan's first time leading a team.

So I'm not going to apply too much pressure, but I need them to know that they need to to get everything out quicker because by charter three, it should be precision.

It's like every time, every time they start a new season of wind, I'm like, by episode three, this better pick up.

Otherwise, I don't know if I'm on board for another season.

Yeah, and it's just a fucking mess out there.

And they're running around like chickens with their head cut off, heads cut off.

And the girls inside are watching and cracking up.

And Aita's like, are you enjoying the shit show, girls?

They're like, yeah, this is so entertaining.

You have no idea.

Okay, so so now it's a jet ski and tessa's getting annoyed christian's like well when they tell us to do it we have no fucking idea how to do it so they need to tell us how to do it and tessa's like gary not teaching us nothing

guys you should know how to do this stuff

yeah so it's now 90 minutes that the guests have been waiting to get on their jet skis

And Sandy is like, she's just watching.

She's like, oh, gosh.

But they finally get on.

They finally got on the jet skis and they're playing around.

They're having fun times.

And then Kizzy goes into the galley and she's like, here's your knife.

And Josh is like, well, this could be your knife if you like it in the pantry.

You don't have to keep on coming back to the kitchen to give it back to me.

She goes, oh, you don't want me to come back?

He's like, oh, I want you to come back.

Come back whenever you want.

You can shake a tambourine with me.

Yes, woman.

Okay.

All right.

She's like, boys tend to like me.

I love like playing with them.

You know, I've been like a little puppeteer.

And I'm like, dance, boys.

dance, boys.

Like, look at me.

I'm kizzy.

Kizzy, kizzy, china.

The hottest girl, the hottest room in the whole house.

So

now they're flirting over bread.

And he's like, Do you need some bread?

And she's like, Yeah.

He's like, Yeah, it's got so fucking much love in it that you don't even understand.

She's like, Oh, I can taste the love in your bread.

Oh, you god damn it.

Bread, yes.

Give me your yeast.

Give me your yeast.

Yeah, it's disturbing.

So, okay, we got to be faster, Nathan.

We got to be faster.

Don't be sorry.

You're learning, okay?

Now, what do we know from you last season?

You had terrible hair.

The whole world told you you had terrible hair.

And you showed up with terrible hair again.

So you're learning.

That's the important thing.

Yeah, right.

And then we see Kizzy.

She texts three hearts to someone named Tommy.

We don't know who Tommy is but he's just received three hearts we don't know do we know who tommy is it's the musical

just like just reminding just as a reminder i would love to be part of your company so he has three hearts

um actively auditioning for the musical i love that the guests are happy um and now we have to get a bitcoin chocolate fantasy theme party for dinner totally normal and um so they're figuring out what to do for that meanwhile josh is like yeah, you never know when guests are going to ask you to dress up or do a silly dance or whatever.

You know, a lot of chefs want to hide in the galley, but I'm an artist.

I enjoy creativity.

When I was in Nicaragua, I actually met a clown and he trained us for two weeks on the craft.

And now he dresses like a clown.

And this is when I started booing my television.

I said, no.

I just started screaming, no, pass.

Okay.

Pass.

I wonder if clowning is different in Nicaragua than, say, like the Bronx, right?

Are there

regional nuances that go into the clown arts?

Well, I don't know who ripped off who, but it's, you know, the big lip mouth painted around the mouth.

I mean, basically, it's like La La Kent.

It's like La La Kent.

In both places.

He's like, I'm going to juggle, and then afterwards, I'm going to esquirt.

Yeah.

So,

yeah, he is in clown face and I'm mortified.

Mortified for him.

Mortified for all the clowns.

I'm just mortified for everything.

Yeah, I kind of gave up.

I just booed the TV and just kind of sat back and shook my head for the next 10 minutes.

So V is now

hunched over, and Kizzy comes and puts her finger up her butt.

And she's like, oh my God, that nitty sent you flying.

It's like, oh, my God, stop it.

I like it.

And then Nathan

is asking the deck team to put the whip out on the the starboard side.

So, which basically means secure the tender.

And of course, this is not going to go well.

So Christian's like, what is that?

Tessa's like, it's to secure the tender.

Even I know that one.

Come on.

So then Aisha stops by the galley and says, this is the first time that I feel like I'm over 30.

My body is really sore.

Meanwhile, we've got Christian and Tessa trying to figure out ropes again, which which is not

going well again.

And Nathan's like, oh my God,

attach the clip to the eye.

Attach the eye on the whip.

I on the whip.

I on the whip.

What are we doing?

I on the whip.

On this one?

Is this a whip?

Oh, they don't even know how to put whips.

Oh, my God, please.

The jet ski is floating away.

Another thing's floating.

So he goes after the jet ski.

Nathan's on the tender.

He goes after the jet ski on the tender, but then Max goes, it's an emergency.

And he just jumps off the boat.

And then he's like, Max, no.

Oh, geez.

So he goes swimming.

And then the guests get that.

One of the guests goes, I don't know what they're doing.

One guy's swimming.

I feel like Max going, it's an emotion seat.

I mean, literally, there's a tender going to fetch the jet ski.

And so then Nathan gets the jet ski.

So then Max has to swim back.

And Sandy's watching, like, oh, God.

I mean, it's like Keystone Cops over there.

Oh, my God.

What happened to that wave runner?

Why did it drift away?

Did it have a date with Norma?

Jeez.

Christian's like, well, it was my fault.

I got distracted because I got another number from a, from a, from a seahorse over there.

So I wasn't paying attention.

And so you didn't know how to do the knot.

So it flowed.

You didn't know how to do the knot.

That's not.

Knots not landing.

Captain Sandy's like, just that, that, that.

No.

Okay.

No.

He's like, yeah, we're going to have to have a meeting.

You're going to have to have a huge meeting.

You're going to have to have a couple of weeks of training.

This is crazy.

You have a boat crew who doesn't know what a whip is and doesn't know how to tie a knot.

That's not good.

Yeah, it's not good at all.

So Nathan's like, well, it's just got a wee bit hectic there for a moment, but I'll get them on the same wavelength.

It's like, yeah, do it fast.

Fast.

It's an absolute shit show.

I've just been standing at the slim platform watching things.

Terrible.

So now Carl's recording himself.

He's like,

I'm currently in Spain right now on a beautiful, beautiful boat.

And the question is, of course, are we going to see Bitcoin going lower?

Oh, that's what we all wonder today.

Is Bitcoin going lower or is Bitcoin going higher?

Let's go back to the charts.

The best time to buy Bitcoin?

Always, always.

Today, yesterday.

Yesterday is the best day to buy Bitcoin.

Guys, thanks for being with me on this special live stream about Bitcoin.

Buy it now.

Haul, a good better bus.

Never let a restle, your goods, your better, and your betters, your best, and you're all buying Bitcoin.

But also, this is why I don't believe these guys, because we're doing Carl Voice from Summerhouse.

But this this guy, this is how he really does it.

He's like, I'm currently in Spain on a beautiful boat.

Bitcoin, always buy it.

It is always a good buy.

Bitcoin.

And nothing could sound more firefesty and like con artisty than this guy being like, look at me.

I'm on a yacht.

Buy the Bitcoin.

Buy it like as soon as possible.

Buy it tomorrow.

Like, get it as soon as possible.

I'm like, okay,

Mr.

Ponzi's scheme, how much money do you owe?

Like,

buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy.

Bitcoin is not something you sell at an mlm or something it's not like they're making profit off of people buying you know what i mean like they're not making commission they're broken

i don't know well i guess people are buying bitcoin won't that drive up doesn't that drive up bitcoin well yeah

i mean yeah so everybody's buying it but it's just they're making it sound like

i don't know it sounds like an mlm cult you know like those leggings or whatever we did that documentary about what was that the lululemon no not lululem it wasn't lululemon

lulau yeah yeah i don't know there's just something about like the urgency and being like buy it now buy it now it just feels like i don't know yeah they're chiefs these guys feel like crooks yeah so anywho um they're they arrive for dinner for the bitcoin extravaganza meal which still doesn't make sense and uh they're they're show they're they're getting upstairs for that and then uh chief officer ben's just chatting with nathan nathan's saying that's been a hectic day day.

You know, it's bad when they have to bring out Chief Officer Ben to have some sort of conversation.

They're talking to the like invisible crew that we're never supposed to see.

Nathan's like, oh, Jesus Christ, what do I do?

And he's like, don't worry, Nathan.

You know, when you're confident, then they become confident too, right?

You just need to be more confident.

He's like, oh, it's overwhelming the fucking shit out of me.

Because, you know, we kind of all know that on below deck, there's an actual crew that knows how to do things just in case.

But this is bad.

When it's like they hired a boatswain who's probably not ready to be bosun and then gave him a crew that doesn't know what they're doing.

Like

we're going to be seeing, we're going to see a lot of barky.

I'm saying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

now there's some more cleaning and now the main event, which is it's time to bring that jet ski back on the boat.

So the jet ski is like hooked up to a chain.

And Nathan has that little remote controller thing that sits on his like tummy like a waitress in the 1920s nightclub selling cigarettes, you know.

And so she's, he, he's like doing, he's like trying to control it.

And Santa, they're acting kind of like this thing is like a wild stallion.

And Sandy's like, okay, hey, I'm here to help.

Okay, come on.

Let's be, let's go easy.

Let's be focused.

Okay.

See that light?

See that light?

Watch out for that.

Okay, Nathan, you can do it.

Come on, speak to the horsey.

Come on.

And Nathan's like,

ping.

Concentrate.

Okay.

Concentrate.

Control.

No.

control just slow slow watch out watch

okay you hit the light okay let's not hit the light again

okay you hit it the second episode

no pressure everyone's watching you

okay okay well we

those lights cost money nathan control yourself

control the drop nathan control the drop do your food

and nathan's like it's a big swing it's too swelly and then the light double crashes and slow control come on come on bring the wave runner and then the jet oh my god it's just a disaster and captain sandy's like holding a string like look at me i'm helping i mean the whole thing is just

not good but watching that watch that jet ski like knock over that lamp and then knock it over a second time oh it's just so so visceral so great we delight we delight all right everybody that brings us to the end of episode um

of below deck mediterranean season 10.

thanks for being with us join us on patreon for our bonuses and our

videos.

And we'll talk to you next week.

Join us Monday at 5.30 Pacific for Karabi Hour.

And we'll see you guys next time.

Bye.

Bye.

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