#3040 RHOM S7E20: Kneeful Things

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker.

Joining me today is the glorious and handsome Ronnie Carom.

Hi, Ronnie.

Oh, hello.

Hi, Ben.

How are you?

How wonderful to see you.

Wonderful to see you too.

How are you doing on this fine Friday?

I'm good.

I'm excited.

My niece is coming in town with my sister and they're taking me to see Sean Mendez tonight.

So

I'm like fangirling and,

you know, wondering how much of a creep I'm going to look like at this concert.

You won't look like a creep at all, like Katzarani, just like looking at Sean Mendez and drooling.

I mean, he is really hot.

He is a hot, hot, hot young man.

He's a handsome young man.

I don't really know anything about him, but I'm very excited to go.

Okay.

You know what?

I'm going to be with my niece, who's a screamy little teenager.

It's going to be fun times.

The girls are coming in town.

So I'm doing that.

So I was vacuuming a lot.

There's a giant fly in my office right now.

It's as big as a flying dog.

And so I'm waiting for it to land near me so I can get it.

That's my life.

That's what I'm doing.

What's up with you?

You need a Brooks Marks tennis racket thing.

I am, you know, in the throes of wondering whether or not I've poisoned myself, you know, which is a fairly standard state of mind for me.

Okay, everyone.

I'm bringing this to the podcast only because I couldn't find answers on the internet.

So I'm now appealing to the masses.

This is a very specific, did I poison myself edge case?

But I would love to hear what people have to say about this.

One of our listeners, Jennifer, she, I was roasting some vegetables last week, and one of our listeners, Jennifer, was like, hey, in Turkey, we have these things called cosmetics that are these,

you know what a cosmetic is?

No, you, you talked about it.

I about it yeah yeah i talked about it right it's like a cage like a grill pan stuff in yeah yeah it's like a grill pan that you put on like a you put on your burner on like a gas burner and it can hold more vegetables and you can roast them you know if you're roasting peppers or like an eggplant for baba ganous you can blacken the skin very nicely so i bought one from milk street and i was very excited and i i decided to use it last night And my range has like four burners, but in the center, there's like a center burner that's crazy.

It's a crazy burner.

It's like a double ringed burner.

So there's actually two things to turn on.

And that's like, I think it's good for like walks.

Like I never use it unless I'm putting that walk down and going like crazy high.

Or if I'm charring vegetables.

So I put my cosmetic on the crazy double ring burner and I put my peppers on there.

And let me tell you something, this cosmetic was crazy.

And like they started to blacken like that.

I was like, this is a miracle pan.

I've never seen anything like this.

This is so much faster already.

And it was great.

And it's a black, it's like a black steel pan and it's enameled though.

And like, I noticed within like four minutes that some parts of it started to start to glow red,

like glow red and orange.

And I was like, oh, oh, that, I was like, is that just part of the cosmetic experience?

And then I started to think, oh, maybe it's about to melt.

It's like molten metal and I have the things I'm about to eat like directly touching it.

So then I got scared.

And then I lowered the temperature, but I still kept doing it, but I was like committed to it.

I was like, I'm not pulling, I'm not pulling the peppers.

Yeah, I got this pan.

I got this new pan from Milton.

I got the pan.

I'm seeing this all the way through.

So then when I, when I eventually removed the peppers,

I noticed that in the black charring areas, there were some areas that looked almost like blue, like a chemically blue.

And I was like, did I just like, did like the enamel melt onto the chill onto the peppers?

Was this a chemical reaction?

Is this like normal?

I messaged Jennifer as as she is now my queen of cosmetics.

And she said, actually, that happens all the time when I just char like peppers on a grill.

Like it'll be black, but sometimes you even see like this kind of bluish thing.

But I'm still like very concerned that

I did something chemically to my peppers.

And I want to know from the masses, will I be okay?

Are you dying?

Am I dying?

You guys will know by the end of this episode if you're like bleeding from the eyes or something.

You never know.

I mean, it could could be a cool down

episode.

We lose Ben during a Miami recap.

I did cool down the cosmetic, and it looks kind of weird now.

I think it clearly is not meant for that high of a flame, which I feel like, what sort of grill pan are you that you can't deal with like any type of flame?

But I think if you don't smell something bad, then you're okay.

And I know people are going to be

carbon monoxide, but whatever.

You can kind of smell carbon monoxide, make an effort.

Yeah.

So the pan looks kind of like weird now.

It doesn't have that nice, clean, like black, sleek, enameled look anymore.

But I'll post pictures.

I would love to get, um, I would love to get the advice of maybe

a smelter.

Thank you.

Come to our Instagram and tell Ben whether or not he's dying.

Okay, everybody.

Well, if you want these recaps on videos, we are on Crappins on Demand.

If you want our bonus episodes, this week was a Southern Charm trailer, super fun.

That's also on Patreon.

And Mondays, we do Amazon lives at 4 p.m.

Pacific time.

And every other Monday that we're not doing that, we do Crappy Hour.

So this coming Monday will be Crappy Hour.

And that's going to be at 5.30 p.m.

Pacific time.

You can find that for free on YouTube, Instagram, and our Patreon.

Free, all places.

So join us for that.

That's where we talk about Bravo headlines.

And you guys come talk to us about whatever you want to talk about, ask your questions and all that good stuff.

And today is the end.

It's a very sad day because it's the end of Miami season seven.

And it's been a great season.

It's been a hilarious season.

It's a season that is absolutely tanking in the ratings, which sucks.

They're getting series low in their ratings.

But that might just be overnights.

That might just be

overnights.

That's what I read.

I read ratingsbravo.com or at ratingsbravo on Twitter.

On Twitter.

Overnights mean nothing.

Overnights mean nothing.

It's all about like the live plus sevens.

It's also like engagement.

They don't care about overnights.

Like, let's praise.

Let's let's be in a space of praise for Miami for a wonderful, wonderful season.

Let's remind people that this is the best.

I am shocked, though.

I am shocked by the number of people who, when I say, are you watching Miami?

They'll say, oh, I haven't started that one.

I really mean to.

Or like, I'm a few episodes behind, which usually means you've watched one episode this season.

When people say I'm a few episodes behind, that means they haven't watched anything.

Or like one, I know that because that's what I say when people ask me about things like,

you know, like

any other TV show.

The bear.

It is with the bear.

Honestly, it is what I do.

I'm like, I'm a few episodes behind.

I've watched

season one, different than season two.

Thank you.

Yeah, but like for real, I mean, it's shocking.

It's shocking that people sleep on Miami.

Like, it's crazy.

Yeah.

It's the, it's one of the, it's the best.

It's the best.

It's the best one to sleep on because it's the bounciest.

They've got the most fingers out of any of the bounce.

All right.

So here we are.

Seven, season seven, episode 20, reunion part three.

We pick up where we left off last week.

Larza has just, we've seen a clip of Larza making a comment about Lisa in Milan because she's like, oh my God, like if your dad's like sick, like why are you even like in my, why are you even like in Milan?

Like, why aren't you like by your dad's side?

Like,

well, Gina.

from Pro Volonchi says, Larsa was harsh by saying you should have been in Milan with your sick father.

Remember that?

Well, you know what?

Let me tell you something.

I'm going to to get emotional.

I get so emotional, baby.

Okay, give me a fucking tissue.

Give me a tissue.

Okay.

Nobody knows what I had going on with my father and my history because I haven't talked about it.

And my dad would have wanted me to do that.

He said, he would have said, Lisa, fly to Milan and walk in a shitty fashion brand show.

Okay.

And that's what he would have done.

That's what he would have liked for me.

My dad loved Laura.

Willie.

So she's crying because everybody's piling on on her and nobody even asked her how she was doing with her father.

And Kiki's like, I did.

I did.

And Mary's all is like, well, I'm sure I ain't done.

Not a full-fledged cast member.

Not a full-fledged cast member.

Friend of is fine.

Let me finish.

Alexia, when your mother died, not only did I have empathy for you, but I wore a bright green dress for no good reason.

And then after that, I had a whole party for you at my house that you weren't able to make.

Because remember when they had like,

apparently Lisa did have a nice celebration of life for Alexia's mom at her house.

But remember before then, everyone showed up in like black at like some memorial thing and Lisa showed up in bright green.

Everyone's like, Lisa, why did you not dress in bright green?

Lisa shows up in like a bikini and heels, you know?

And we see a clip of this party where Mary Stell's like, everyone needs to take a big sing for Nancy.

These are her favorite sings.

So they all take selfies with sigs or something.

And then Lisa's Lisa's like, Yeah, I even made everyone wear your mom's red lipstick.

I mean, no one's been that creepy since Louis on Real Housewives of New Jersey.

I did that for you.

I did it for you.

Oh, so we're comparing grief.

Okay, okay.

All right, all right.

Well, what were you doing?

No, you're not comparing grief.

You're comparing the reaction to someone's parent dying, you selfish ass.

Yeah, I think, I think actually, Lisa does have a point, which is like, um,

like Alexia, when things like this happen to Alexia, she is justifiably given the space to mourn it and, and go back to it and use it to explain all her emotional reactions to things throughout the entire season.

But with Lisa, they're like, get over it.

But I also think the reason why they say that to Lisa is because Lisa has been kind of playing.

Again, whether justifiably or not, she's been playing the divorce card for like a few years now.

And I just think that people don't want to let her have cards anymore because she's,

she's been able to see what you do with the cards.

You're no longer playing cards.

She's like at the casino.

They've like, you've been counting the cards.

You're out.

You're divorced.

Divorce is annoying.

So your dead dad is going to get in the back seat.

Okay.

It kind of, I think that's kind of that.

Because they've had to like over-index on sympathy for the divorce.

And so now they just don't have capacity to like feel bad for her when she never even talked about her dad and when talked about how her dad had, she had no relationship with her dad.

And now suddenly they have to like

make hold space for her now in a way like when it's like where did this come from i'm not saying that they're right in fact i think that like they may even be wrong but like i think that's why they're just kind of like okay too much lisa yeah i think she's saying listen you know you guys complain about me crying too much so i don't even cry and then now but now you're gonna make shitty comments about my dead dad and like me and my dead dad like what the fuck larsa and larsa's like yeah but like but we weren't in a really good place like and like i think that like i feel like you were like just like trying to make me feel bad for saying that.

Yeah, you should feel bad for saying that.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

You see what you did there?

I wanted to make you feel bad.

You're piling on me.

You're piling.

Yeah, but like, let's be honest.

We all thought that.

When Larsa said that to Lisa, she's like, well, what are you doing here?

Why'd you go back?

Because, you know, she had a real voice.

She's like, well, why'd you go back?

Why are you with your dad right now?

We all were kind of like.

Yeah, like, why are you like, why'd you fly all the way to Italy when you're, if your dad is like on his deathbed, you know it's it feels weird to be to use the my dad's on a deathbed card while you're on vacation you know I mean people process things in different ways you know people she may be having an avoidant moment I get that but like I think a lot of us were thinking what Larson said these were major problems with her dad wasn't she kicked out when she was really young and stuff like that I think that's her backstory

so I don't think you have to go sit there for mean people like people who were mean to you and then later apologize personally right but it's that she was saying like how could you say this to me Larson?

My dad is on like I'm dealing with a lot.

My dad is on his deathbed.

So she's like, well, then why are you like well you could still be dealing with someone.

You could still be sad about someone's death while you're on a runway show in Milan.

What the hell?

Like why is it, why do I have to choose a set to be sad on?

That's a fashion cries for no one.

I'm not crying in Milan.

I'll cry wherever I want to.

This is an internet.

Ever since we have the internet, we're in an international community now.

This is a global community.

I can cry with him on FaceTime.

Fuck off.

I'm putting on this outfit and I'm walking for my Instagram photos.

Have you met Kelly Catron and you're going to say you're going to cry during a fashion week?

No, thank you, sir.

That's not going to work.

It's not going to fly.

But like I wrote you like a message like, and I like asked you how you were doing.

And she's like, this is about my dad.

Let me talk.

Let me talk.

Oh, but like enough is enough, you know, because like you've been talking like, how much dead dad do we have to take today?

This is like nuts, Andy.

If dead dads were like tequila shots, we'd be on the floor.

Okay.

Because like that's all we've been swallowing.

Like, give me a break.

I mean, Alexia saying enough is enough is wild.

When Alexia stubs her toe and it's a telenovela for three years in a row.

I know.

It's just like a lot.

I stubbed my toe right in front of Frankie and he had to see it.

It was just like so embarrassing.

And I was just like, what on freak happened this way?

It's like, I think I try to once I always stub my toe.

Like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Enough is enough.

We're allowed to grieve.

We're allowed to grieve.

You got to grieve for it.

You know, guess what?

I was only allowed to grieve for a year during a divorce.

And guess what?

I'm still grieving.

It's still going on, but you don't want me to talk about it.

So I don't talk about it.

Letty.

Letty.

And you know what?

I keep it to myself.

And people don't know what I'm doing because nobody asks me questions anymore.

And I just love Lisa because she's so Botox that even when she's like legit upset, her face looks so crazy.

It looks like she's trying to squeeze out a twig.

Like, there's, I don't know what's happening, but she's like, oh.

Yeah, she does this thing with her eyelids.

It becomes becomes like a cartoon fish.

And she's like, oh.

Botox wasn't made for crying.

I think Botox makes you look so nice in multiple ways, like when you're laughing too hard or stuff like that, but crying, no.

No, it's not good.

Now, please don't, I don't want anyone to get confused by what I'm saying.

I fully believe that Lisa has a right.

and to mourn her dad and like she should be allowed to mourn her dad without like eyes being rolled on the show.

I just think that she's, it's just also so funny when she's like, I was only allowed to mourn my divorce for a year.

That's all I was allowed to do.

I was like, lady, you have been mourning your divorce on this show for like three or four years now.

Okay.

Like the way she acts, like she's been pent up in a little box.

I'm like, every time you open your mouth, it's about your divorce, your divorce, or, and now it's your dad, but like it's still going to go back to your divorce.

Well, I mean, I just think she's fighting with people who are really insensitive monsters and she's not going to win by crying.

Like, they don't even care that you're crying, you know?

She's sitting there like, my dad died.

And Alexia's like, oh, yeah.

You know what?

But same though.

Same though.

I feel the same.

Yeah.

I feel the same.

And that's the point I'm trying to make.

It's like, you crying?

Like, I feel like crying right now.

What about that?

It's like, okay, okay.

Alexia.

You know, Jesus, why can't you just say, okay, sorry, we didn't mean to be insensitive?

That's a strange concept.

So easy on this show.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive.

Well, I want to know what happened in the elevator in Sevilla because because cameras were not there and they've all been fired by the way okay they're all dead so then we see a flashback of larza telling julia in the um elevator that jodi started texting her and julia is like well you're in the elevator and you talk to lisa and you tell her about things that provoke her and that's probably why she called jodi

And so they're talking about that.

And Andy's like, well, what happened?

And Julia is like, Larsa, to be honest, you snap and you said something to Lisa again because you were feeling it.

And Lisa replied, Thank God the door opened and we walked out.

And Jodi started texting her again and again, and he wouldn't stop.

And Jodi is in the dressing room just watching, and

he's reacting in some way, but it's very like Mona Lisa.

I think we have to kind of project what sort of emotion it is because his face is fully frozen with Botox.

And I think he still is in the throes of lockjaw.

So he's like,

Yeah, he's kind of shaking his head.

What was that in his head?

But he looks like he's just sitting on a a car dash going over bumps.

He's just kind of yeah

so

wholeheartedly.

There's a big severity of this issue that she wants to skip over and only talk about how Jodi's texting her.

The insinuation of what Jody was doing on or what Jody was doing or on is the issue at hand.

And then we see a flashback to everyone looking at Jodi's picture with his eyes and it's like, oh, how big are his eyes?

And Lisa's like, when I saw that footage, I was disgusted.

Going in on Jodi was so unwarranted.

And then you chimed in, and you chimed in, and you chimed in.

But about what?

When you said, How big were his eyes?

How could you even say that?

Well, in my culture, in my Russian culture, that's what we say.

If somebody is as big, if somebody is angry, we say, How big is their eyes?

Oh, really?

Very popular Russian proverb is how much cocaine in nose.

I'm talking.

And Julie's like, how big are your eyes?

DCs, what do we say?

She's like, excuse me.

You insinuated that he was on something.

And Larsa's like, yeah, but like they like that, that, like, because like you were talking about, like you see in your apartment, that had nothing to do with me.

Like, like that, I didn't have anything to do with that.

I don't have anything to do with air conditioning.

And so we see the clips of Jodi being like, want to come back to my bedroom?

I've got AC.

Yeah, we're going to do shots in AC in my bedroom and i go yeah where's your bedroom get that ac up my nose he's like yeah i want to rail some ac yeah

it was just air conditioning no it's um i'm sorry just reading the dialogue back no one ever talks about air conditioning in that way we're going for a shot and some ac people don't like go for some ac like it's just such a strange

way like to say it to go for some AC

really sort of makes it seem like a distinct quantity of something.

And people don't talk about air conditioning in that way.

I'm sorry.

It just doesn't, it just, it doesn't make any sense.

Here's my thing.

People have a right to do Coke in their bedroom if they want to.

That's his birthday party.

I mean, they're saying that it was so hot in the apartment and the AC was in a smaller room so they could, they could cool down or whatever.

So whatever.

But I think they're allowed to go do Coke at his party if they want to.

And it's so hypocritical for everybody on this cast to be like, oh my God, cocaine.

Larza, you were with a Coke we just saw your boyfriend get arrested your fiancé or whatever get arrested doing a mountain of coke during breakfast on a yacht so let's not act like you're some stranger to cocaine you're always all wiping your nose and got runny noses i'm looking at you marisol and larissa so everybody acting and you've got cocaine cowgirl over there alexia you guys being judgmental about cocaine as miami denizens is hilarious and also jody's face always looks like a crazy cokehead's face it's just how he was drawn yeah justice for cocaine users.

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I don't think they are ups, they're like in a tizzy about the cocaine.

I think that what they don't like is Lisa trying to gaslight them and saying, oh no, it wasn't cocaine at all.

It was, it was truly air conditioning because they all know what it was.

We all know what it was.

And Lisa be like, It was air conditioning.

And she's got above and beyond.

Well, it's an illegal substance.

What is she supposed to come on and be like, yeah, my, my boyfriend's a raging cocaine.

He was doing Coke all night.

No, I think you just, you just let it die on the vine.

You let the audience be like, the audience like sort of laughs and gives each other knowing winks and jokes.

And then you just sort of move on and like, whatever, everyone knows exactly what it is, et cetera.

But at least.

I like Jodi's answer because after all that happened, Jodi came on Instagram or something and was like,

what if I was doing cocaine?

We live in Miami.

Everybody does cocaine.

But it wasn't cocaine.

It was air conditioning.

That's a good answer, actually, because it's sort of taking, it's like gives like a little like, you know, it sort of takes the teeth out of the accusation.

But I think it's that like Lisa is so adamantly defending this air conditioning situation that they just don't want to deal with that.

That bullshit.

And Gertie's a good friend, too, because she's like, yeah, they needed the air conditioning because they were cooking steak at the house and it was very, very hot.

So,

you know what you need to say sorry larsa because you fucked up you know i'm sorry for not unfollowing marcus my bad i should have done that i wish i did but you have a lot of things that you should be saying sorry for all right well what do you want to apologize for uh well where should we begin i don't know that's on you because you're the one who said just a lot to apologize for ah you know what i was expecting to get this far in the in the conversation i know all she had to say was what i just said accusing my husband of or my boyfriend of doing cocaine but she just just gets lost.

She's like, wait, I got to name things.

All right.

Hold on.

Let me think of things.

This is the part where Alexia interrupts me, and I don't get to talk for the next 45 minutes.

Oh, I have something to say.

Me too.

Me too.

Yeah, that's how I felt too.

I feel that way too.

And I kind of feel it in a bigger and brighter way because I'm like, star.

You know what it is?

It hurts me and Jodi's relationship.

We've had nights where I don't want to give you that much power, but we have nights where we almost broke up over it.

Thank God we had cocaine to make it fun again.

Honestly.

Could you imagine if that happened?

Imagine Jodi talking to his bros like a year later, sitting at the bar, sad,

you know, tears in his beer and like, hey, man, what's going on?

The one that I love, she got away.

What happened?

Larsa Pippen.

Oh, man.

Sorry about that.

Yeah.

Larsa Pippen accused my air conditioning of being on cocaine, bro.

We had to break up.

It was because of his reputation.

That's why.

That's why.

It was his reputation.

Yeah, because his reputation was on the line, you know, because of the problems.

Wait, let me ask you a question.

If you could apologize to Jodi backstage, would you do it?

But yeah, but like, yeah, but like, like, look, I don't want to make like my friend upset anymore because like, I feel like this has like gone on.

I feel like like for far like too long.

Like, I'm not going to apologize to Jodi.

Like, I'm not going to not apologize to Jodi to make my friend happy.

But so, like, I'm not going to, not gonna apologize, not gonna.

does that mean i'm gonna apologize or that i'm not gonna apologize me too me too that's how i feel too i like this bra i like this this is good let's get some cockies i was just looking up jody's job because i forgot what he actually does i guess he's a um a tech entrepreneur looks like he has a job called postalize

um which i don't know what that is is that like a way to like revolutionary like revolutionize innovate like post-its or something like that but it's i'm looking at his linkedin posting lives is kind of like housewise bread and butter so he fits right in

but i just like that he's he's basically a tech bro it's an all yeah they have their approach divorce easy divorce fun making divorce fun again

introducing the world's first proactive relationship management i guess it's something with ai with with law firms whatever

you're meaning to tell me that a tech bro essentially a tech bro entrepreneur in miami like his reputation is going to be ruined because he was accused of doing coke in the bedroom yeah

what a tech bro

never a tech bro in miami his reputation his reputation nobody thinks tech bros do coke

So now we talk about vacations and how Lisa missed the plane and had to take a bus, a train, a taxi, a subway, a hike, a bicycle,

every plane, train, and automobile possible to get to Sevilla.

And how she was talking about, like, it's so difficult as an immigrant.

No one understands what it's like when you don't know the language.

And so, Andy's like, babe, how long have you lived in Miami?

And she's like, ah, 16 years, almost 17.

He's like, and you don't know a lick of Spanish?

She goes, yes, I do.

Like, hold on, hola.

Yeah, Benito on Miami.

Like,

Lisa, Lisa, that's crazy.

I mean, look, I get it.

I mean, I've been in, I've been, well, I don't know.

I mean, I've been in Los Angeles for like 24 years, and you know, I haven't picked up that much Spanish, but I've tried.

And like, I, every now and then, I hop on like Duolingo and I start doing Spanish lessons, et cetera.

Like, at least I attempt, but I don't think that's a lot of people.

Su camisa es a sul.

Su camisa es a sul.

I've, I've, I've made a lot of proclamations about who has apples.

people don't realize this, but it's like Sally.

Everything is about

everything,

you haven't gotten past chapter A minus

without knowing.

I have gotting every they really need to change up Duolingo, though.

You're right, because everything is like the man is wearing a blue shirt and Sally has an apple.

Like, I don't give a fuck about Sally's apple.

Tell Sally to get a ding-dong.

Apples are no way to live.

And the way they say it to you, as if they say it like they're, like they're divulging a secret, like, Sally has three apples.

And you're like, okay.

Like,

she likes yellow.

I'm like, oh, okay.

He doesn't like yellow.

I'm like, oh, okay, fine.

All right.

I'm relaxed.

I'm fine.

Starting conflict.

And now there's like gossiping about like these

starting conflict between Sally with an apple and the guy in a blue shirt.

Yeah, I definitely think I can like, I can sort of like,

I can't read Spanish necessarily, but I can sort of like futz my way through reading it.

But in terms of me, even just now sitting here being like, oh, let me create, I can't, I honestly can't sit here and say, create a Spanish sentence for you.

Like

he, the boy likes apples.

I can't, I could read it and I could translate it, but I couldn't say it.

I'm like confessing all my Spanish.

Yeah, well, that's

you're forgiven.

All right.

Any volunteers to teach Lisa some Spanish?

And Kiki's like, I volunteer.

Okay.

I know how to say this.

Dildo, dildo, dildo, dildo.

Dildo, dildo.

That's Spanish.

No punga tu pinga on michocha.

And he's like, okay, does that mean don't put your dick in my?

I love Andy grilling Lisa about not picking up a lick of Spanish when Andy has like clearly spent last night memorizing his like opening lines.

He's like, Hola, me amigos

sua est

ladies,

yeah.

But it's funny because people only know Spanish based on what they need it for, right?

So, like, a lot of people will know it like to boss people around.

Like, if you work in you know, kitchens and stuff like that, where a lot of Spanish is spoken, you know how to be like, por favor, necessitamas platos and you know, la mesa vente or whatever.

So, you know how to say things that you need to only to get by.

And I love that Andy clearly doesn't know Spanish, but he knows all the dirty shit.

He's like, Oh, wait, you want to put your dick in my butt, my butt crack?

Wait a second, You want to swallow my load?

Sounds great, daddy.

I had a nice little,

you know, he's like, oh,

I can say, I, I have a nice little reserve of Spanish from like 90s pop songs, like that one song that was like, no,

I got no tango, dinero, cabaret, cabaret.

So can you help me out?

You're like using macarena in any sentence that you can.

You're like, don't you establish?

I'm so white.

And I was like, oh my God, this guy again.

So then we get to Kiki eating wacky things on trips.

This year, she nearly gagged on an oyster.

Wasn't that hilarious?

And she's like, well, I feel like if I wasn't going through celibacy, I would have been so used to it going down my throat.

But at that moment, my throat was so dry, Andy.

And Julia's like, oh, but oysters are so wonderful.

It's my favorite thing.

We know, Julia.

I needed to teach you a puppy toy story and give you small what the pucket.

Okay, all right.

Well, that was not that interesting.

So,

whoever put an oyster segment in here, okay.

Glad that you're three episodes long still.

All right, well, the trips were not all champagne and jazzer size.

Stephanie Julia fanned the flames between Alexia and you in Spain.

Remember that when Julia did that?

Let's look at a clip.

And we're back.

So, boy, that did not land, Julia.

Oh, I know, I know it is not land.

No, I'm talking about

Alexia and Marisol making it on the plane and landing in Marbea.

It did not land.

They never made it, huh?

That was a joke.

And Stephanie's like, well, it's because I was getting to know you.

And we had a great time at dinner with Martina talking about how our family members won't speak to both of us.

Like my sisters hate me, your daughters hate you.

I mean, that was great.

Wait, I'm sorry.

Who was I at dinner with?

Oh.

Yeah.

And your daughters hate you.

You know, and that trip was not going to happen unless I did it.

And for you to have just made it worse for Alexia and i by talking behind you know by tattletailing i mean that really was just and she's like you're absolutely right i'm going to give it to you 100 my comment was silly you know sometimes they say like in russia brain fart this is what we do in my country you know it's a compliment when we tattletail on our friends in country with wide eyes wide eyes

Yeah, it was a real brain fart.

It was you currying favor with a ladies you've been trying to get in with who, by the way, are going to drop you like a bad habit the moment that's convenient for them.

So Lisa's like, can I ask you a question?

Where was this energy from these two when they didn't come to Marbea?

Okay, because remember, remember, everyone was mad at me for being late, they didn't even go to Marbella.

So, uh, which I think is a fair point.

I think we've been wondering why Julia was so chill with them being

like just not even going to the most important part of the vacation, but like getting so mad at Lisa for being late.

And Julia's like, Oh, because skate trip in Sevilla was for Alexia, but Marbella was for me.

Don't you understand?

Logic makes no sense, right?

But that makes sense to me, right?

So it was important for you and your two new bessies were there for you.

I was like, you know what?

I wanted to concentrate on myself for once.

Me, Julia, who never concentrates on herself.

Me, Julia, who just had an opera party/slash foster care party.

So I couldn't sign up.

Biggest bullshit from Julia.

Well, some of the biggest bullshit.

I mean, everything's bullshit these days from her, but like,

you got she, if I remember correctly, she really got so mad at Lisa for being late because she was saying, she doesn't understand how important this trip is for me.

You couldn't get on a plane in time for me.

You couldn't do this for me.

Like everything.

And this was just about like, oh, no, Lisa missed an afternoon of drinking cocktails at the Ramada lobby bar.

But now, like, when it's actually fully going to Marbea, she's like, oh, it's okay.

I wasn't focused on anyone else.

I was just focused, me, on the two gays in Marbea.

Like, yeah, this is bullshit.

And just the idea that Julia, you know, never concentrates on herself is hilarious.

So, Mary Soul's like, well, I don't know why you're calling me or Bastie.

We're just getting to know each other.

But I wanted, oh, thanks a lot.

But I wanted to ask my friends to be godfather.

And that was my point.

I would want my friends to be there with me.

Absolutely.

I would want, but they were not.

So what can you do?

And Lisa's like, oh, but you got a lot of energy for me.

I saw the footage.

I personally think actually a bigger question is

where,

like,

you nailed Gertie to a cross for not getting onto a zoom in time and yet these two ladies just full-on skip out on what you call one of the most important days of your life so i don't understand that is this where stephanie yells where she's like wait wait can i talk for a yes

out of nowhere she's like she's silent and then all of a sudden she acts like she's been talked over everything is like just typical banter and then she's like can i talk for a damn like whoa stephanie

but i want to clear the air from this horrible misconception is it really that bad to fly on shelma Air with the rules?

Did you have fun?

Like, was it that crazy?

Oh my God.

It wasn't just your rules about not pooping on the plane.

It was that you were threatening to leave half the cast off of the plane once you were already there.

You little fucking,

what's the short person who gets mad?

The short person who gets mad?

Well, who just said impad?

Napoleon, you little freaking Napoleon?

Yeah.

Who's the one who just said imp on Bravo?

Oh, was it?

It was Stacey.

Stacy called Ashley an imp, which I thought was so funny.

I, what was so funny is that Stephanie is like, everyone, shut up.

Like, she screams like she has this really salient point.

And then she's like, can we all agree writing on Showma Air was pretty good?

It was fine, right?

I was like, that's really, that's why you halted everyone to say that.

So, yeah, we see footage of them on the plane dancing, and it was really great.

And Marisol was like, listen, Stephanie, it wasn't about the rules.

When we sat down to do the plane layout and we're deciding, oh, we're going to put Kiki in this room far away from Adriana and all that stuff.

You know, I started to feel like everyone's going to be in someone feels like solitary confinement.

You're calling so many shots.

I didn't like it.

And she's like, well, have you been on a private jet because there's no solitary confinement in a private jet?

Well, the way that you were drawing out that thing, it looked like you were shoving people in their own private rooms where they were not going to be talked to.

You were the one who made the drawing.

And like, I think there's also an element of, sorry, I think there's also an element of, I think, of

Stephanie was 100% on a power trip.

We all agree.

And I think there was also an element of like, not only was she on a power trip, she's in no position on this cast as a newbie to be on a power trip.

Like, if Alexia had done it, I think Marisol would have been like, this is a great plan.

I mean, wasn't it just like a few episodes prior that they literally split up into two yachts?

which is kind of not that different.

Be like, okay, this person goes in this yacht.

This person goes in this yacht.

We got to keep these people away from each other.

So, like, they're not opposed to micromanaging a luxury travel experience.

Yeah.

But I think,

but I do think that they are different because Stephanie is and was on a power trip, but it was that she's a newbie on a power trip and they don't like

a new person coming in and saying, this is how it's going to be.

I think you're right.

I think Mary Sol and Alexia are like, I'm not going to be bossed around by this newbie.

Let's show her who's boss and not go on her stupid trip.

Right.

Yeah.

But the freshman's like a senior how to act.

Yeah.

And they're also wrong in that when Stephanie did that, they could have just called, they could have just said either right then and there when they were with Stephanie, listen, Stephanie, dividing people and threatening that they can't come back on the plane is just really uncomfortable.

Like, I don't want to get stuck in Marbella.

I don't want to get stuck in Marbella.

If you're going to kick half the people off the plane, like, we'll just take a train or something because I don't even want to deal with this.

Like, you're being annoying with your plane.

But they don't.

You know, they slink off and then they don't say anything.

And then they try and power trip her by just not showing up and writing some snotty little text.

And that's where Alexey and Mary Soul go wrong because they're obviously being mean girls and then Mary Soul shows even though Stephanie kind of deserved it you know but then Mary Soul shows up like what

I do we just didn't want to go instead of having the gonads to just say I didn't like what you did and I didn't like your attitude and that's why we weren't gonna go we thought you were being a little fucker so yeah and I think that also like this is where Marisol gets the reputation of being a manipulator because like you said she should have said at that moment hey mighty mouse this is all great but this is just not the way we should really be conducting it let's just all go have a good time let's not worry about it.

We'll keep each other in check.

This is not the way we act as a friend group.

But by her just nodding and then the next, just like being non-confrontational and saying, we're not going to go.

And then it is a little bit of a power, like a power play by her and Alexia.

And

that is inherently a manipulation.

If you are.

you are not participating in order to sort of elevate yourself or to create separation between between you and someone you think is acting crazy.

And now there is a narrative that Stephanie was being crazy with the plane.

You've now manipulated a situation, whether it was like super intentional or not.

That is what you've done.

And it gets worse because Stephanie is like, well, it also hurt me that from what they said, you tried to convince everyone not to go.

She's like, no, no, no.

And Adriana's like, yes, yes.

She's like, no, there were only three of us together.

And Gertie's like, such a liar.

She is such a liar.

And so Alexia is like, well, we said maybe we shouldn't go on your plane under that circumstance but we would still want to be there for julia so we were going to take a train to marbella that's what that's what it was that's what it was we were just going to take a train so it wasn't personal then why didn't you take a train trains

then why didn't you take a train especially if you're saying so much that like married like marisol or marisol was marisol made it sound like they decided to hold back because alexia needed like a private day

if you're on a train you're going to have a lot of time to chill out and talk and have a private time So that's kind of bullshit too.

Like you don't say you were going to take a train and then you don't even take the train.

If you were going to take the train, you would have taken the train.

Well, the point was, you guys just didn't communicate with her at all.

Instead, you just like gave her the silent treatment and didn't show up and sent her some little shitty text, like right at the last second, you know?

Yeah, they're jerks.

So, um, and Stephanie kind of deserved it because she was being a jerk.

Like, I would have been the Alexia and Mary Soul in that position, but I would have said, You're being mean, and I don't want to go on your stupid plane if you're going to like you know, make me feel bad about it.

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Andy brings it back around to Stephanie calling Mary Soul and Alexia twins.

And so he has this adorable segment where he's like, I'm going to ask you questions and see if you answer like twins do.

I hate it.

So they do that.

And

so they do that.

Is Kiki's dad hot or not?

And they're like, hot.

Does Jodi have Furby eyes?

And everyone just kind of gets, everybody just kind of cringes because it's just like Lisa's just crying that you guys are making fun of her.

This is so Andy.

She's like, please stop bringing Jodi into it.

And he's like, does Jodi have Furby eyes?

Yes or no?

Because he's a gigantic cokehead.

Yes or no?

They're too nice to say anything to say to say yes.

They're like,

all right, is Stephanie spying on her parents?

Creepy or cool.

And they're like, what?

What are you even talking about?

It's like, oh, it's a reference to like one passing comment in a confessional from earlier in the season.

And so we have to show it.

And Stephanie's like, oh my God, I didn't spy.

I just set up their cameras.

This is outrageous.

Oh my God.

I'm like America's favorite right now.

So yes, they're twins.

It's official.

They're twins.

So, um, all right, okay, I want to move on to cake gate.

Kiki, the equation you wrote on the cake was 32 times two minus five equals 59.

Larsa, uh, you can come back to us.

She gets a little confused when math gets involved.

Okay, all right, welcome back, Larsa.

Sorry, that was scary.

Like,

did you know how that was going to land with her calling Adriana old?

And Kiki's like, well, now that I look back at it, it does look mean.

And I heard ratchet in that moment, okay?

And my instant pushback was, you're too old to be talking like that because i'm the type that i'll just hit you where it hurt but to be honest it was not coming from a malicious place blah blah blah and so

do you think it's easy to age oh my god you're talking to a real housewives cast and a mom of course she knows how hard it is to age Yeah, this is the wrong audience age, Rihanna.

Especially when you are like aging like magnificently and you're gonna be like, oh, do you know how hard it is?

I I mean, this is a lady who is literally pushing 60.

She is gonna be turning 60 and she looks like fantastic.

You're a stem cell and a wig.

You look amazing.

What are you talking about?

So he's like, well, does this, does your opinion change when you see that Giki had no ill intentions?

Just, but it was hurtful nevertheless, because, you know, at first I made it very clear.

Gertie had even months before even offered to throw me a birthday party.

And I never want a birthday party.

I never celebrate my birthday because I don't want to feel like that.

I don't want to feel like someone you have to just buy a coffee machine for, you know?

And I literally, the last party I had, I was 15.

It was my kins in the era.

Oh, gosh.

I don't believe that whatsoever.

In fact, I'm sure we could probably find some evidence of her having birthday parties over the past, you know, 40-something years.

I just think it's funny thinking of her like at 16 being like, no, I don't want a birthday party, please.

Please.

I'm being 16.

Just kill me now.

Oh, my God.

Aren't you fucking kidding me right now?

She's talking about old age.

You know, like she called me an old whore and I have old lady knees.

She did that to me.

And we see that yacht triple where it was basically an hour of Adriana being like, old whore knees, wrinkly old knees, stupid knees, knees of an old crone.

Maybe you should do something about your skinny knees, you old whore with your wrinkly knees.

I still yell at it Bueller when he's like taking too long to pee or something um so andy's like okay well given how sensitive you are about age aging you know the word old you know getting crow's feet waddles etc it's like please andy no more like okay well do you think it's okay to come

to come at marisol about her old wrinkled knees can we get a close-up of mary soul's knees right because the camera just closes up on mary soul's knees and just stays there and keeps cutting back to them which is hilarious He's like, when she's showing off tonight, do you think that's hypocritical?

Another shot of the knees.

Can we draw some eyes on the knees and maybe a frowny face?

America, in case you're looking, that is not the Game of Thrones map.

Those are Verico's veins on her knees.

All right.

So Adriana's like, well, the reason why I said it was just it was my intention to hurt her.

And I love how when Kiki says, you know, I only called you old because I knew I wanted to hurt you.

Like,

I wanted to say the worst thing to hurt you.

And Adriana's like, but it was hurtful.

That was still so rude of you.

But then when Adriana is called out for calling Marisol old, she's like, well, I wanted to hurt her.

So I don't see what's wrong with it.

Adriana's excuse was so funny.

She's like, yeah, well,

it was hurtful because it was supposed to be hurtful.

That was the intention.

She's like, I was removing myself from your presence.

Well, it's not easy.

You should know that.

But you should be a little more sensitive about it, about my age.

Marisol's like, well, you didn't make it easy for me.

I'm going to have surgery on my knees literal surgery on my knees because you made me feel so bad about it can we get a close-up of my knees andy's like can we get a close-up of that baseball glove that looks like it's been left out in acid rain marisol's knees okay

hey can we get a close-up of that conical sharpe dog right there on the side oh that's her knees never mind i'm sorry can we get a close-up of this paper-mâché balloon there oh i'm sorry that was marisol's knees right all right hey can we get a close-up of that uh dried dried-up riverbed that sometimes fills up with flash floats?

Oh, it's Marisol's knees.

Sorry about that.

And she's like, wait, wait, wait.

Kiki's like, wait, wait, wait.

Mary Soul said she's going to have knee surgery.

She said, she said that.

Yeah, I'm going to have a knee procedure because I just feel so uncomfortable.

Literally, the rest of the season, I wore panty hauls.

Well, you shouldn't.

And Andy's like, well, what procedure are you doing on your knees?

Well, it's called Renuvion, renuvion and it's gonna help me get knees uh so because i'm really self-conscious about the wrinkles on my knees now there's nothing wrong with your knees nothing at all nothing wrong as we say in russia why are your knees so small that is great compliment

why are your knees open so wide this is what we say

in russia um and i love that she's plugging renouveon because she actually did go get that on her instagram you know so she's getting like the deal the free deal or whatever Well, probably Renew Vion probably reached out to Marisol and was like, hey, we'll give you a free knee thing if you want.

She's like, sure, I'll do it.

And now she's probably saying like, now I feel so self-conscious about my knees.

I actually cannot believe that Marisol felt self-conscious after Adriana about her knees.

I think that she just got this deal and now she's milking it.

And she's like, well, I am I am doing my knees, so I might as well use that and get some sympathy for it.

Hmm.

Looks interesting.

A thin probe is inserted under the skin.

RF energy and helium plasma are released, creating a controlled heat that contracts the collagen fibers in the skin.

I'm in.

Let's do it.

Where can you do it on me?

Just pick a spot.

Maybe the back of my arm, like the back of my elbows or whatever.

So now they go on them.

I guess that wouldn't be the back of my elbow.

That would just be my elbows.

Yeah, my weenus.

I want weeness talks.

Hey, what's wrong with your wrist?

You know what?

This is so embarrassing.

I went to the gym on Sunday and I I literally picked up a 20-pound weight, which is like not like, this is not like bodybuilder stuff.

And my wrist was like, no, thanks.

And it like, I basically strained my wrist and now it's like aching and I have to like wear a splint.

And it's annoying because I was like all into going to the gym this month and now I can't even.

Well, I don't want to scare you, but I'm looking up an article and it says,

if you eat

food that has been overcharred and turns blue, it weakens your bones.

Oh, no.

You would think it'd be the opposite.

It's like, oh, well,

I got some enamel in me now.

This wrist should be strengthening up.

But instead, it's

you're going to be cooking.

You're going to be cooking vegetables in your wrist.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Dom said, I look like a lady named Dawn who's like working like the secretary being like, hey, I got my coppotanel.

It's typing.

It's a typing.

It'll do it to you every time.

You got a call at line one.

I can't answer.

I got the couple.

So they're all talking about how her knees are amazing.

And we keep getting close-ups of her knees and stuff.

So now we go on break.

Some people go peepy.

Stephanie comes up to Alexia and she's like, did you like my wider prop?

Wasn't that funny?

I was so proud of it.

She's like, you're hilarious.

I don't, I wasn't watching.

I fast forward to your scenes.

So

Basky comes by to say hi to Adriana and it's cute and everything.

And then Jodi and Lisa are sitting.

And Jodi's like, you're killing it out there.

You're doing a great job you're absolutely killing it i don't know what you said but i just really wanted larsa to own it and retract the accusations that were cast against you know you because like it's hurtful you're like a businessman so larsa comes in knock like knock like hey jodi how are you can i sit like can i sit x y and z thanks like i'm gonna sit like okay guys like you know jodi i know like you don't know like my history with like lisa like and we've been like such good friends like and like i've gone through so much together like for instance there was the time like where i like listened to her for like three years straight about like her divorce like and then there was like also the time where she didn't like care about me like and i just have been like a great friend to her like it's just gone so south and i just felt like you know what i'm saying it's just like it's been really tough for me like so i just want to say that i'm like really the victim in this like and if you want to apologize to me like that'd be great like Yeah, but that was a lot for him.

He didn't want to be part of a circus.

Yeah, but like Lisa, like, why didn't you call me then?

Like, because we were, what do you mean?

But like, if you called me, like, I would always, like, take your car.

Like, I was, like, very hurt.

like yeah, but like maybe you need like another day without any of this pressure that comes with reunions to like talk, okay?

But the point is Jodi with just having you be dragged through this situation.

It was so bad.

Jodi's like uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, it was.

But I just like want to say like I'm sorry like because like

I wasn't trying to bring you into it when I was like, Jodi's on Coke or like, you know, Jodi's following Marcus still and like Jodi would be nothing without like Marcus like and like Jodi's a climber like like I didn't mean that in an offensive way like

so like I hope that you understand that it's all Lisa's fault like and he's like uh-huh okay yeah look thank you yeah you're saying that yeah yeah well like I don't want you guys to like ever be liking our stuff okay because like it's just like it almost broke us up like you know the last time I saw Arcus was like a year ago and I was like hey Arcus why don't we hang out more what was that nothing nothing don't worry about it listen We don't want to be a part of it, okay?

Everything's good.

All right, well, okay, good.

Because like, I just, I apologize.

I don't want to fight with you.

I don't want to fight with you.

I love you.

Oh, you.

Yeah, yeah.

You're like, look, love, look, yeah.

Do you have like an EAC like?

So they hug, and then Lisa's like, your boobs are in the way.

So now it's time to go back to the set.

And Mary Saul's got her handy prop there.

She's like, yeah, no, I'm bringing my own cocky.

So

Lars goes to set and she's like, can we have some like tissue-like?

And Handy gives her some.

And she's like, oh, my God, these are like the best like tissues i've ever like had like these are like amazingly soft like handy like

well yeah here nothing but the best for for miami well look hey here's a tissue one for su hermana that's spanish lisa

Okay, so we're back.

Real housewives of Miami, part 37.

Lisa, Larsa, it seems like something positive has happened.

Yeah, we had a nice talk.

We feel good right now.

So good.

You don't know how much that meant to me.

Right, Larsa?

She's like, yeah, yeah.

We had like a good, like, I like hug Jodie.

Like, yeah, it's good.

It's my nose running.

Like, could you give me another tip you like?

We had this thing where I look at her and she looks at me and we start laughing and then talking really fast.

And our eyes open up really big.

Oh, so you're angry at each other.

Watch your mouth.

Watch your goddamn mouth.

So,

yeah, well, let's talk about, let's talk to Gertie about her post-cancer life.

Yes, Gertie.

So now we see a montage of Gertie's storyline and her therapy and all, and all of that really good stuff.

And he's like, okay, well, first, give us the latest health update.

So Gertie gets very emotional and she says she was getting her group back.

And she decided not to get that reconstructive surgery.

She said enough was enough.

And she's thankful.

Just be thankful for what you have.

And, you know, and, you know, then we see Russell.

It always comes to Russell like smiling and nodding, like, that's my girl in the back.

And

she talks about her therapy and how she talks about that the story of again of how she came to America and then was essentially kind of abandoned while her family went back to her parents went back to try to like bring the rest of the family over and how it gave her lots of like abandonment issues.

And so he's like, well, do you think there's a connection with the feeling of being abandoned as a child and what happened with Julia?

What do you mean?

Well, you know, like being abandoned.

But what do you mean?

Like as a friend from Julia, Julia abandoning you, basically.

She's like, oh, oh, okay.

Well, not that's maybe abandoned's not the right word, but like degrading.

That's how it felt.

Degrading, you know, because like I like the symbolic gesture of like, you know, this is like, it's traumatic.

It was very traumatic, Andy.

It was traumatic.

She's like, I'm sorry, Gurdy.

Again, I made you feel this way.

It was not intended.

You know, I lost my cool.

And I'm so sorry I made you feel that way and brought you back the pain.

The pain you felt as a child.

She's like, thank you.

Thank you.

thank you

you just don't understand that when i was a child i was invited onto a celebrity cruise and i was not invited out of the main room so it brought back a lot to me i remember walking into that school and there was a lunch lady who looked like captain sandy in

polyester capri pants and she would not let me have a sloppy joe like everybody else's sloppy joe and so when i was kicked out of captain sandy's okay okay that's hey that was actually me yeah before i was a captain i

hit some rough times.

Yeah, that was that was back before I found the miracle of yachting.

Back then, I said, I don't want any more sloppy joes.

I want clean joes.

I'll tell you what, I don't miss the hair nets, but I do miss refusing to give little girls.

I don't like slappy joes.

So

her wife,

BB, baby, Captain Sandy's wife, whatever her name is.

Baby,

baby, baby, you're so cute, baby, but like in a sexy way.

Yeah, Leah.

Leah posted on Instagram, someone asked her, like, what the hell was this?

Why didn't Captain, why didn't you guys let Gertie sit at your table?

And she's like, baby, this is so ridiculous, baby, because like Julia wasn't even at our table.

She was at another table.

We were at a table with family and friends.

So I don't even know what Julia is talking about because she wasn't at our table.

Was this what she had?

It wasn't at the Captain Sandy event.

It was, yeah, it was like some Captain Sandy event on the boat, but Julia did have tickets to come with Martina, but it wasn't at Captain Sandy's table.

Julia's making it sound like there was only so much room at Captain Sandy's table,

you know, and that's why they didn't have Martina.

And then when they asked Sandy about it, I'll watch what happened.

She's like, oh, this situation is just so silly, you know?

Like, I mean, basically, I mean, there were only a certain number of

places at the table, but, you know, the way I am is that anybody can just pull up a chair at a table.

Like, she avoided the question instead of just being like, well, she wasn't Martina.

So we said no, you know, which is probably the truth.

Yeah, I would have liked actually, Andy, to have gotten a little bit further to the bottom of this logistical thing with the, with the boat on this reunion.

It sort of didn't get brought up at all, really.

I mean, I know the first episode of the reunion, there's a lot of Julia and Gertie stuff.

And, you know, it's a little, it's.

it's when when gurdy gets really upset she she really can she's like angie kay like and lisa barlow they just start like sort of like word vomiting and you kind of like can no longer like

really have

good

questioning, I guess you could say.

But I still would have liked Andy to have been like, can we just get to the bottom of what this cruise was?

What happened?

What were the logistics?

Can you paint the picture?

Because nothing really makes sense to the audience.

Yeah, what's the point of bringing it up if you're not going to get into it?

You know, it's a reunion.

Come on.

So now we talk about Julia's kids.

And so we get wacky scenes of christmas pictures and stuff and then andy's like so how are the boys and she's like they're at home now with martina which isn't really answering the question how old are they they are four to whatever they're doing fine they're great um so she talks about the kid her her daughters and um

it happened so fast that they didn't get to talk to the daughters about it and andy's like so they felt replaced and she's like well in the beginning probably

um also because i was calling the boys by their names Because, you know, I was looking at the boys as replacements for my daughters, but I didn't want them to feel replaced.

He's like, okay.

Daughters did not like that we named the boys new Vika and new Emma.

That was point of contention.

We changed their names.

Which I thought was very nice of us.

And she's like, you know, teenagers, but, you know, they know I want to have a big family.

And so Vika has met the boys.

Emma has not, but they've FaceTimed.

So has she come around?

And she's like, oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

You know, she's younger.

Emma's younger, so it's harder with her.

Okay.

Well, Papa from Can You Hear Me says, Julia, I have so much respect for you adopting these boys, but you and Martina are older.

Have you talked to your girls about raising the boys?

And I think that question was probably rephrased to be nicer because I think it should have been phrased like, you know, you all don't have much time left and you're forcing these kids, your kids, into raising these new kids after you die, right?

Right.

Ah, you know, we did.

And, you know, we are a family, and the girls will be there.

They're their brothers.

So that goes without saying.

And, you know, the daughter's like,

hello, we gallivant around Europe now.

We are not stopping everything to go to Florida to raise two children that just suddenly dropped into our lives that we now call our brothers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Julie's like, no, they're going to love it.

Nope.

So, Mary Marisol,

rumor is you're looking to sell Mama Elsa's house, which I don't think anybody cares about, except it's a chance to get in a Mama Elsa clip, which is so cool.

Mama Elsa just walking around the house with her giant fan going, lonely again, in this lonely house, without family, without anything, all on my own, talking to nobody about nothing.

Wow.

Well, I know.

Marisol, you're in communication with Maris, with Mama Elsa.

What does she think about you selling your place?

Well, I don't think she's really attached.

And then Stephanie's like, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What do you mean you're in communication?

Wait a second.

You can talk to your dead mom, but I can't even talk to my twin sisters.

Like, this isn't even right.

How is a dead person willing to speak to you more than living people are willing to speak to me?

This is crazy.

Well, Riley from not Candy Burris' house says, Marisol, I know you wished your mom could have been there to see you marry steve you know that like elsa's like oh i saw it from heaven and believe me i fell asleep five times

um so what do you think that marisoul would have said in her mother of the bride speech she said oh gosh you would love steve that's not the that's not the answer the answer is what would she say in her speech and i think it would go something like oh marisoli

Find somebody else to marry her.

I don't know how she did it, but she did it.

To me, she is like toast without butter.

But some men still will eat her anyway, because men, they eat.

Speaking of, is it time for dinner?

Well,

she was a blushing bride for the third time.

And even though Marisol claims she has a lovely colon, some kind of think she's an a-hole.

So Marisol montage of Marisol being, you know, getting married, but then also being shady.

So Andy Andy is like, well, to add to the pylon, recently on her podcast, Dr.

Nicole accused an unnamed friend of, that's you, Marisol, of hiring a private investigator to dig up information on her.

What's your response?

Well, prove it, right?

That makes you sound innocent.

Prove it.

That's what I say.

Prove it.

No, no, no.

Didn't Marisol admit to doing this in a previous reunion?

Yeah, I hired someone.

They were at the mall.

They

tracked them.

Did she admit to doing that?

Maybe she did.

I think that was in our head.

I think that was a made-up thing that we made up a restaurant in a mall that he was following her at.

I think.

I don't even know what half the time

was real.

Yeah.

I don't know.

So he's like, well, why do you think Nicole's bringing it up now?

She's like, listeners.

She's desperate, desperate for listeners.

And Alexi's like, yeah, it doesn't make any sense to bring it up now.

And Marisol goes, prove it or we're going to court.

Oh, yeah.

I would love to see.

I would love to see Discovery.

Please do.

Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue.

Yeah, seriously.

Stephanie, you originally believed that Alexia influenced Marisol's opinion.

And then after your talk with Alexia on the spot, your opinion flipped.

So who do you think manipulates who in this Alexia Marisol dynamic?

Well, as much as I love you, as much as I love Shoma Bazaar, you've actually hurt my feelings.

And I haven't like really talked to you about that.

But I think like Larsa went and told you, but like it hurt my feelings since I've been like on the show.

It's been like very hard for me to deal with public backlash.

And like it's been really hard for me.

And like, you know, who managed to send me

every single terrible article about me?

Was it your twin sister?

No, actually, she didn't even do that.

It was Marisol.

Marisol did that.

You didn't answer the question though, which was, who do you think manipulates who in the Alexa Marisol dynamic?

I like that no one even listens to the questions anymore.

It's just like, okay, it's my chance to yell at her.

So Marisol's like, well, she told me you didn't like it.

I mean, why don't you tell me you didn't like it?

I would want to know this.

I wanted, I would want to know this is out there.

So I'm just going to, I'm just going to tell you that everyone hates you when i find out you know like good morning people still hate you well

i mean i i was considering it a favor you should have just told me marisol sending shitty headlines to stephanie is so hilariously nasty i mean like and then she gets like no i'm just trying to help her

what an underminer wow talk about toxicity Yeah.

Oh, this is manipulation.

That's manipulation right there.

This is slander.

And Stephanie's like, everyone tags me every day.

I go to bed.

This is thinking the worst idea of my life.

You know, I'm getting hounded by everybody, the press, everyone's, everyone's making fun of me.

Well, I wish you would have told me that.

I mean, I knew everybody was making fun of you because I was sending you the headlines.

Those headlines were good, too.

Those are really good.

Listen, you know what?

You try and give someone a good smile every day.

And look at the thanks that they give you.

Look at the thanks.

Can I say something?

Like, can I say something?

Like, honestly,

I think I know what it is like.

So, like, Marisa I thought like when you were gonna come on into the friend group that like you and her and I and Alexia we're all gonna become really close like you're gonna be like the rich one and then I'd be the one with the hot boyfriends and then they'd be like our two old aunts and then like is there anyone else in our group I think that's just it and we just be like the best but then like you were like friends with like the not cool people and that was like really hurtful for her so I think that's like what happened like I love that Larsa is basically saying, Marius Soul wanted you as her friend.

And when you were friends with everybody, she decided to turn against you, which is basically what Larsa just said.

And Mary Soul's like, yeah, but I encouraged you to be friends with Aunt Raymani.

She goes, you did.

You know what?

And you guys don't believe me, but my lunch with Adriana, she told me you got to get to know everybody.

And she goes, well, I said the same thing.

No, you said the same thing.

It's just like, I truly think that you got, yeah, but like, she felt hurt like because she thought your relationship was going to be like solid.

Like, and you know what?

Can we get a close-up of Mary Soul's knees?

Because this is like a sad part.

I think your circle is like very small and people don't know how sensitive you are.

You know what I mean?

Hey, look, her knees are agreeing.

Why are your knees crying?

Your knees look very upset.

Like, oh my God, it's like that commercial for like, don't litter.

Your knees are crying.

So Andy, Andy's like, so do you think Marisol is a safe space?

And Stephanie's like, I think that like Marisol gave me absolutely good advice at the time on that, on that Virgin Voyages.

And she said, and I think it was great advice, which is like, there's no safe space to talk to anything about anyone, you know, or anybody about anything.

All right.

Well, there's no safe spaces at the final party as Marisol dropped a bombshell.

And we see a flashback to to Marisol claiming that she told Adriana to say wretched instead of ratchet as the reason, like she came up with this excuse.

And Marisol's like, Yeah, I came up with it.

Wretched, yeah, that was my big thing.

And uh, Adriana's like, No, wretched, that's the word I use.

It was the context.

I mean,

that's what I said.

That's what I meant.

Ratchet

W-R-E-T-C ratchet.

That's what I said.

They're like, oh, God.

No, we don't.

What did you mean to call Kiki ratchet or ratchet?

Ratchet.

That's what.

But ratchet or wretched.

Ratchet.

And we see the clip again.

And she clearly says ratchet.

Ratchet.

She does not say wretched.

She does not say

something close to it.

It's ratchet.

It's lately ratchet.

And she knows what she said.

She's a smart lady.

She brags.

This is a lady who in another flashback, we just saw her say in a flashback on the yachts was saying like, she's doing this so that way it doesn't absolve her of yada yada.

She's using words like absolve.

She's bragging about going to Harvard.

She knows the difference.

She knows the word wretched.

She knows how to say the word wretched.

She says the word wretched multiple times.

She said ratchet at that moment.

Yeah.

And Kiki is like, but whether it was ratchet or wretched, whatever it was, I don't care.

And Alexi's like, yeah, you know what?

Kiki doesn't care.

Kiki doesn't care.

She said it right now.

She doesn't care.

So

Adriana insists that she's not lying and everything.

And they all start talking over each other.

And Gertie's like, wretched is such a weird word to use.

And Sati goes, this is why everyone said, this is what everyone sounds like.

A bunch of barking dogs.

Am I right from her?

Should I get my prop out?

That was such a good prop.

We all like my prop, right?

But why are you calling her?

And I had your back.

You know, we don't need to argue about this because the definition and what she used clearly was not what Kiki was doing.

She wasn't ratchet.

She was miserable all day.

So, you know, let's talk about the actual day.

She was miserable, which would mean wretched, right?

And Adriana's like, yes, the context.

And so Kiki says, look, her question with ratchet is whether or not Adriana actually used that word.

She doesn't think she's racist, but her question is, even if people take it that way, she doesn't care because she knows who she is as a person.

That said,

You've been fighting with Mary Saul since the Roman Empire, which is funny.

And you never say ratchet to her because it's like another way of calling her old, right?

You've been fighting with mariasaw since the roman empire and you never say ratchet to her you never say it to julia you never say ratchet to any of them so why would you say it to me why only me

so

yeah she's like i think she's saying i don't think you're racist but i think you're problematic like and yeah there's something because all at the context of that entire conversation was that like lisa i'm sorry uh adriana accidentally outed this a moment with lisa unfollowing marcus and kiki said like why are you doing that You weren't supposed to do that, Adriana.

And she'll stop being, she's basically saying, whether you call me ratchet or ratchet, it was undeserved hostility aimed towards me.

And I don't know why it came towards me.

So, um, oh, I thought she was saying the word rat, like you said, ratchet.

You're calling the black woman ratchet, but you've never called anybody else that word.

So, why are you calling me?

I mean, it's all that.

So, Andy's like, so who deserves more of the criticism?

And Marius Sol's like, oh, probably me.

It's my fault.

Everything's my fault, I guess.

And Kiki's Kiki's like, well, look, for two people to be,

Andy's like, so are you mad at Mary Sol for giving her a different word to you or an excuse or whatever?

And she's like, well, yeah, because I'm supposed to be friends with her.

And then she's going behind my back to help Adriana, who's the biggest enemy.

And Adriana's like, bingo.

Kiki says, you know, I find them at that point both to be backstabby.

Yeah.

And so Adriana's like, see, you were trying, Mary Sol, you were trying to have something to hanging over my head.

You're trying to have have wrinkly knees over my head.

And that's what you were trying to do, to manipulate the situation like you always do.

She's like, well, I want you to lay off of me.

Okay, I'm poor Marisol.

I'm just getting beat up by Adriana.

Okay.

Well, do you feel like you owe anyone an apology?

Well, I didn't even take Keeks into consideration.

So, Keeks, I guess I apologize.

I'm sorry about that.

I didn't think it would affect you.

And I just made a deal to let Adriana off the hook and make you seem like a crazy person who's using the race card.

Sorry, didn't even think about that.

Whopps.

Yeah, exactly.

Well said.

And

Adriana's like, oh, poor you, Mary Souls.

She goes, yeah, I was just thinking about myself and not having any more issues with you, crazy person.

Oh, crocodile tears coming out of you like a faucet, like a faucet.

You know where it's good, use some moisture?

Your knees.

Put some crocodile tears on your knees.

Okay, close up the knees.

Get that lubricum crocodile in there.

Let it cry on your knees.

So now we move on.

I really wish we hadn't moved on.

I wish that they had just gotten Adriana to admit it, but I don't know how you get her to admit it.

I think Kiki said what she said pretty well, but it just seems annoying because she did say ratchet.

I wish she had just said, yes, I said ratchet.

I wasn't aware that it was that bad to say.

I just heard it in slang and I said it or something.

But just saying like, I didn't say it.

I meant wretched the whole time.

I ain't buying it.

Yeah, no one's buying that one.

So we're back for the final moments of season seven.

It's also the final moments for Marisol's knees.

So in a season that had a lot of strong personalities clashing and a lot of wrinkles forming on that kneecap, I want to see if we can actually end on a positive note.

But Julia, that's not an actual musical note.

So please close your mouth.

I know you're about to try to build one out.

So Stephanie says it's, you know, the best experience of her life.

She's got true sisters now.

And then Andy compliments Lisa on her growth.

And she's like, thank you.

Thank you.

I've grown tremendously as a mother, as a person, as a friend.

I'm taking accountability.

I've been on time a few times.

I mean, come on.

I'm basically a good person now.

And Stephanie's like, do you think that means I'm the lucky token?

All right.

And Gertie, Green, what about you?

Well, you know, I'm so glad you asked me this because I'm doing amazing.

And hold on, let me get this book out from beneath this pillow to show how I've had such a good season.

Here is a new book that I'm holding.

And you're going to plug your book now?

Of course I am because it's all about coming full circle.

It's about trauma to text messages on screens.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's called Trauma to Trophies.

We changed the name.

Sorry.

Because everything that happened here, I'm using it to fuel and empower me.

So yes, from trauma to trophies, the memoir.

And Marion's like, good name, good name.

Adriana, what are you going to be taking back from the season?

She's like, well,

people are only up to the things that are right or wrong, but also because I felt that this morning, the little note you had in your mirrors was written by me.

And so we see that she left a note on everybody's mirror that said,

everybody better abide by these instructions.

Rule number one, clear, clean, precise.

Focus the statement of your position.

Cause, you know, she's in

sure she's in therapy class now.

She's going to be a psychologist now.

But also, like, this is the Miami cast.

I don't, focused statement of your position is just a concept that does not exist on this show.

Marisol is like, oh, God, it says evidence, credible data, statistics, expert opinions, site-verified.

Oh, please, geez, give me a break.

So

she's like, yeah, well, the terminology was so legal.

So she's like, I'm going to Harvard, girl.

I write all the time.

Don't know the difference between Ratchet and Ratchet, but

I can write all these fine bullet points for you guys.

Yeah.

So Kiki thinks of them all as sisters.

Marisol loves having girlfriends.

And Julia, you know, she says, it's both of my best season and my worst season.

Her family was great, but she's so sorry who she's hurt, everybody.

And I hope to rediscover each and every one of you and move in a positive note.

Will everybody please raise my children?

Because my daughters will not.

And Larsa.

I feel like good, like, I'm like with my friends, like, and I feel like we have like such a solid friendship, like, and I like have a new basketball player, like, and I could like say something to like make you mad but like you know like even you Adriana if you ever call me like I'll be there for you like anytime I see my phone light up and says old lady that I know I'll be like it's Adriana calling like I gotta answer it like

old lady probably calling from landline that's how I need like entered in my

Alexia what about you she's like blink in Spanish blink in Spanish blink in Spanish blink in Spanish okay uh well who needs a cocky Cheers, ladies.

I want to thank you for an incredible season.

Yo, soy, Andy Cohen, Puta, Suchiga, and Miboka.

Okay.

I don't.

What do you mean, you're soy sauce?

No, it's a...

I'm not even going to bother explaining that to you, Lisa.

You should know by now.

And that brings us to the end of season seven of Real Housewives of Miami.

Glorious.

Glorious.

What a wonderful show.

I'm already excited for next season.

Great work to everyone involved.

Everyone from the people on the screen to the people off the screen.

I salute you.

You did an amazing job.

Great work.

And

I'm ready.

I'm ready for more Miami.

Love your show.

You know what?

I would say Miami is the reigning champ of

the cities, as in like the suburban, there's the suburban ones, which is like ruled by Salt Lake City and the city ones, which I think is ruled by Miami.

That's my proclamation.

I don't know why I felt like proclaiming it, but I've proclaimed it everywhere.

There you go.

It's been proclaimed.

Love the show.

Love the ladies.

Love you guys for listening.

Thanks so much for being here.

We will be back later on with Real Housewives of Orange County.

And next week, Wife Swap starts.

So join us for Wife Swap Recaps.

That should be pretty interesting.

We will talk to you next time.

Thanks, everybody.

Bye.

Bye.

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She's not just a Sheila.

She's a Daniela.

Itchels.

We never miss her call.

It's Diane Call.

Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickolis.

Hava Nagila Weber.

You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

I go, Hugo, we all go for Hugo.

Jamie, she has no less namie.

She's our kind of mess.

It's Jennifer Messer.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.

She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

Kristen the Piston Anderson.

Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.

K-Sera, Syrah, whatever we'll be, will Lauren Sillsby.

She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

Let's give a kiss a Reno to Lisa Lino.

Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

We love her on the rocks.

It's Melissa Cox.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg.

This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

I love a ya olivia williamson she sure is swell it's raquel yes we canna it's sedana cast a spell with shannon spellman let's share with sharon eldridge darn skippy it's tippy and our super premium sponsors she's vip it's amanda v can't lose when you're with amy baldwin somebody get us 10 cc's of betsy md we're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.

Put us on a stretcher.

It's Charlotte Fletcher.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.

Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.

Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

It's our queen.

It's Queen Laifa.

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.

Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran.

We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.

She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.

My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo.

She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manoch.

We love him madly.

It's Kyle Pod Shadley.

In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.

G, it's Lisa H.

We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron.

She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.

Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.

The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters.

She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

Rose.

There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska.

She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony.

Please don't stop.

It's Solian Pop.

Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

We're obsessed all with Tessa V.

She ain't no shrinking violet couchar.

We love you guys.

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