#3047 RHOSLC S605 Part One: The Fart of War

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to the dulcet tones of watch what crappens. I'm Ronnie.
That's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.

Speaker 1 Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good.
Welcome to the show, everybody. It's Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Day.
We're very excited to be here.

Speaker 1 Go check out our bonus. This week we talk about, you know, diets.
We worry about calories, concerts,

Speaker 1 stuff like that. And also, we talked to Leah Black on Crappy Hour.
Thanks to everybody who joined us for that. That was super fun.
This coming Monday is Amazon Live. That's at 4 p.m.
Pacific time.

Speaker 1 And if you want these videos, these recaps on video, we do videos every day, find them at Crappins On Demand on Patreon, as well as our bonus episodes. Okay, welcome to Salt Lake City.

Speaker 1 How you feeling today, buddy?

Speaker 1 Feeling great. I really enjoyed this episode.
It was

Speaker 1 a nice kind of of counterbalance to the last episode being so crazy. And this one's like, you know, people chatting.
It's really also fun to see Heather

Speaker 1 trying to gracefully have a separation from Lisa Barlow, but we all see what she's doing. She's

Speaker 1 visited Barlow as a friend. And now she's like, I don't want to do this anymore, but I don't want to be the bad guy.
So let me just like.

Speaker 1 try to go around and make it seem like I'm the mature adult before I totally turn on her.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let me pretend I haven't been.
Let me pretend I've actually been this person's friend this whole time instead of actively working behind her back to get everyone else to turn on her.

Speaker 1 So I'm not the only one trying to turn on Lisa again.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly. But I really enjoyed it a lot.
And we also, by the way, we watched Wife Swap, which we'll be recapping. And I don't know if you mentioned that, but because I zoned out for a second,

Speaker 1 which was all about Angie Katzanavis. So it's like, I feel like it was like big Angie Katsanavis energy last night.
I thought she was really entertaining. And yeah, great episode.

Speaker 1 Big Greek energy last night. Big Greek energy here on Bravo.

Speaker 1 So we open with Angie and Heather FaceTiming. They're both making coffee.
Heather has an entire drawer of Keurigs. Now, I haven't seen that.
You missed it? No, I saw that. I thought the same.

Speaker 1 I was like, why doesn't she get one of those organizers?

Speaker 1 I actually love her. I actually love her version of it.
I have to say, love her Keurig style because I can't find a decent Keurig organizer that doesn't make me nuts.

Speaker 1 I've tried so many different kinds. They take up too much space.
They're ugly. I don't like them.
But having a whole drawer, I mean, that is privilege right there.

Speaker 1 When you have your own drawer to just

Speaker 1 Keurig pods in there, right?

Speaker 1 That's what I was thinking. I am like,

Speaker 1 the way I dedicate space to different things in every drawer of my kitchen to just have a drawer dedicated pods, I was like, wow, she has a lot of storage. That's what that means.
Because

Speaker 1 that was so what my thought was. I was like, man, the way I'm tetrasing my ice cream scoop in, which I don't even have anymore because it wound up in the dishwasher and got ruined.

Speaker 1 But like when I did have it, the way I would Tetris it in with like a garlic press and then like a spatula.

Speaker 1 And then she just has, you know, just like, oh, let's just take up all the space with some cape, some, some

Speaker 1 woman with not a lot of kitchen gadgets. I don't think there's a lot of cooking going on there.

Speaker 1 She's like, now that my girls are leaving, I finally have a Keurig drawer. Thank God.
I call this to thank God those little bitches are gone drawer.

Speaker 1 I know. By the way, there was the, it was a rather extended compare and contrast montage between Heather and Angie making coffee.
I don't know why we necessarily needed it.

Speaker 1 I guess what we saw was.

Speaker 1 Heather's was the Keurig, was Angie's more. How did she, I don't even remember how she made hers, but they just were, it was like comparing and contrast.

Speaker 1 Like, look at how two different housewives in Salt Lake City approach coffee in the morning.

Speaker 1 So Heather has whipped cream on my lip more proof that i mean that's privilege too i mean whipped cream on your coffee what kind of life is she leading i've never really been jealous of heather's life but today i was i was like heather is living the life with her big h cup because her name is heather i'm assuming that's why heather what if it wasn't or it could be a heathen could stand for heathen it could have been a parting gift from the church

Speaker 1 Because now she's hosting surviving Mormonism. Please tell me how you survived the trauma of Mormonism.
Did Did you write three bestseller books? No, you didn't. So have you really survived it?

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 What's it like swimming without long underwear?

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. Surviving Mormonism.
That's a lot of fun is coming up soon. I'm not watching that because

Speaker 1 I'm already surviving, you surviving Mormonism.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I've had enough. but not enough without survive.
I've had enough of surviving Mormonism. How about you? Are you going to watch it?

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 i don't know like serious bravo is kind of like is a weird thing it's gonna be a serious show where heather goes and talks to people and interviews and then drives home and cries in her car about what she just experienced so i'm not really sure if it's something i'm going to watch i'm gonna still be a little tbd

Speaker 1 unless they have like stories of you know like the scientology ones where the mormons are like chasing you through the hills and stuff like that you know because those got really juicy those Scientology ones.

Speaker 1 But I don't know, maybe, maybe things will change. But right now, no.
But I am jealous of your coffee drawer, H.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 by the way, it's just like hard for me to take seriously any three-part series that's about like, you know, ongoing religious drama hosted by the lady who has a whole bunch of Keurig pods in her drawer.

Speaker 1 Like, I just, I don't know why. It's just Heather Gay, I missed them from all identity.

Speaker 1 Well, it's just, it's just that she's silly. She's a silly person.
And

Speaker 1 so to all of a sudden have this very serious show where she's going to like have her fingers on her chin and be listening and choking up and relaying experiences. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 It just sort of feels like a contrast to then what you see the cartoons of Salt Lake City, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I just,

Speaker 1 I perform more of an action. more of an action type thing.
Like I want to see you escaping Mormonism. You know what I mean? Show, don't tell.
I want it to to be like apocalypse now, you know?

Speaker 1 Running. I think they've got to rescue, actively rescue someone.
Yeah. You know, like throw a smoke grenade in the temple and go in there and get a bunch of people with braids and pull them out.

Speaker 1 You know, braids and flower dresses. Like big love style.
Well,

Speaker 1 so well, like maybe like more polygamist makeovers or something. I don't know.
I feel like there's an angle, but I like that. Yeah, you know.
People that would love cult makeover. Like cult makeover.

Speaker 1 People who've just been rescued from a cult and now they get a makeover. makeover.
Yeah, because Heather's always trying to kind of bridge her or trying

Speaker 1 from what we've heard on the show, and you know, it's fragmented over the years, but I don't know that she ever left because wasn't she talking about how she was keeping her names on the roll and all that,

Speaker 1 that stuff, you know? So I don't know that she technically left or she got kicked out when she got divorced. I forget the whole story of it, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 I would, I think that she still kind of likes it in a weird way. And I haven't listened to all the podcasts she's done.
It's actually a lot of serious work she's done.

Speaker 1 Like we're just making fun of her and stuff. But,

Speaker 1 you know, she's actually done a lot of deep thinking into this. But I think that she still kind of likes it in some kind of way because she talks about it so much.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think that there could be like a makeover for Mormonism. Like, I just want, you know what? Let's make Mormonism better.
Like, what can we fix?

Speaker 1 Oh, so we're just going to like ignore all the hard work of mom talk. Hello.
They are revamping what Mormonism can be. Thank you.
Thanks a lot, Ronnie. They're taking us to the patriarchy.

Speaker 1 Did you not even notice all their hard work? Yeah. I wonder what they're doing with this documentary.
They're like, oh my God, how will this affect mom talk?

Speaker 1 So anyways, that's coming up. So they're gossiping on the phone and they're talking about Mary.
And Angie's like, well, I sent her a message and asked her if she could stop by.

Speaker 1 I hope she can remember that she loves me.

Speaker 1 But then she's still really upset because she's like, you know, you know, Mary's sensitive, but I will not be bullied by lisa that's not fair you know and she points out that she used to be super close with lisa and now she's super close with mary and against lisa and it's just crazy isn't it this cycle of housewivery

Speaker 1 do you think angie's being bullied by lisa

Speaker 1 no i think i think angie started it in this i think angie started it this season she was the one who was talking with everybody else about Lisa being a fraud and those stories and then said Lisa was like Jensha.

Speaker 1 So she started it. So,

Speaker 1 you know, I don't know that she needs to apologize. I don't know that it was that deep, but, you know, she started it.
Now she's acting all belligerent. Like, I can't believe you.

Speaker 1 I think actually Bronwyn started it, didn't she? Technically, I think Bronwyn started that talk. And then,

Speaker 1 but I mean, the fight between Lisa and

Speaker 1 the two of them. Right, between the two of them.
If anybody started it, it was Angie. Yeah, I think, I think Angie's biggest transgression was, I think that she was actually totally fair.

Speaker 1 It was totally fair of her to say,

Speaker 1 you know, I invested money in your company and you're not even promoting this company that you courted my investment for and you're going off promoting a different company.

Speaker 1 I think that's totally fine. I think when she did say it's like collecting dust in your salon, it's like, it does have to do with the kids.
It's a gray area.

Speaker 1 I can understand the trigger there, but I also do think. that like once you have that apology, they apologize at the table at that one at that one thing.

Speaker 1 And it should have been done and then lisa reopened it again and so you know it's weird thing because angie did she did sort of like indirectly go after the kids but it also felt like it should have been a closed case by then so i don't i don't know i i think that i think that lisa

Speaker 1 it should have been done and put in the put in the past and lisa decided you know what let me go back in and be petty again so i do kind of put a little bit more blame on lisa in the current state of affairs, but

Speaker 1 I don't think that Lisa was bullying Angie. And I think that she is, Angie is using the bully card in the classic housewives way, which is excessively and maybe unwarrantedly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she's like, you know, Lisa, I've wasted time and shown a side of myself that I don't want to see and nobody else wants to see. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And so now she feels guilty for yelling at Lisa, but she's still pissed because she's like why is it Lisa can you know hurt us all the time

Speaker 1 and she's always busy crying about what other people think about her but I'm the one who leaves feeling guilty because I could have handled things differently and I felt protective of every one of us that day it wasn't just about me it was about reoccurring takedowns you were all dolmas about to be dipped into catch up

Speaker 1 well i don't need her to be perfect or be good but i need her to listen to me and to just acknowledge something so that I know it's a two-way street.

Speaker 1 This is a sisterhood and it's a sisterhood that follows traffic directions.

Speaker 1 And if you're driving down the street, one car's going one way, another's going another way, and we stay in our lanes because otherwise we crash and the sisterhood dies.

Speaker 1 Do you understand what I'm saying, Angie?

Speaker 1 So Heather's like, yeah, if anyone's going to help her change, it's going to be us, her sisters. We know her.
We love her.

Speaker 1 we've been through it with her you know ups downs deeps shallows we're there thick or thin we're already halfway there

Speaker 1 i appreciate angie's taking accountability and in my heart of hearts i believe that lisa is capable of admitting fault as well and if she doesn't well i guess we'll just start the smear campaign because we are a sisterhood and that's what we do i love that heather's giving this whole

Speaker 1 oh we're gonna save Lisa from herself from getting upset and causing trouble. You were the one who caused all of this.

Speaker 1 You were the one who took Lisa to lunch and sat her down and said, everybody was talking about you in the first episode. You weren't there.
Everybody talked about you.

Speaker 1 I was the only person who stood up for you. And that girl.
Angie called you Jen Shaw. And now she's like, oh my God, I just don't understand why Lisa's so upset.

Speaker 1 We need to stop Lisa from getting so upset. You started this fire, and now you're running around like you all need to call the fire department and put Lisa out, Heather.

Speaker 1 You are so right about that. That is hilarious.
I forgot, but she did.

Speaker 1 She is the one who exacerbated the stuff between Angie and Lisa because when Angie said it, everyone said, Angie, that's not nice. And Angie goes, sorry, bad joke.

Speaker 1 She literally, she kind of like, she acknowledged, whoops, went too far in that moment. And then Heather went and then still told it to Lisa and inflamed the two of them.
Wow. So, so right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she's like, well, we're going on below deck. And when I announced the trip, Lisa wasn't even there.
Poor thing. The sister missed the news.

Speaker 1 But I've spoken with Captain Jason and arranged to charter a super yacht in Canawan.

Speaker 1 We're going to the islands. So

Speaker 1 they're going to a super yacht. So she sent an invite to everybody.
And we don't know if Lisa's going to go, but we hope she does because it's a sisterhood. Sisters yacht together.

Speaker 1 So yeah,

Speaker 1 she wants that to be a bonding moment. Now we go to Bronwyn and Todd and they go to an ice cream parlor called Snellgrove.

Speaker 1 I don't know what Snellgrove, if there's any other meaning to it than that, but Schnellgros, now is the time for ice cream parlor. Svastna, eat your ice cream fatza, snella fatza.

Speaker 1 These are two people that do not belong in Snellgrove, because Snellgrove has all sorts of painted murals on the walls of children eating ice cream, and there's sort of like general happiness and mirth.

Speaker 1 And then you've got Todd in there,

Speaker 1 like the angry Winnie the Pooh. You've got grandpa

Speaker 1 and the girl Kaz playing as his granddaughter, like dressed in like a little girl's church dress and a gigantic headband. It's like, ooh, yeah, like a bow.

Speaker 1 I was like, have they ever eaten ice cream before? Do they even know what they're doing?

Speaker 1 Like, they just seem so unnatural in this space.

Speaker 1 Yeah, whenever people accuse accuse you of marrying your grandpa, it's good to just go on ice cream dates

Speaker 1 in giant headbands. She's such an odd, they're just such an odd pair of people.
Not even that they're odd because of age difference or, I mean, they are.

Speaker 1 That's something that contributes, but just as people, they're just odd people, you know, which I like.

Speaker 1 So here we, how many ice cream dates do we get between husbands and wives on Into It in bright pink?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just, I kind of like, she looked like she should have walked into the, the ice cream store with one of those giant rainbow lollipops that's the size of a head like it's time for ice cream.

Speaker 1 I'm Rowan. Like that's sort of how she looked.

Speaker 1 And yeah, there was like we're very used to May December relationships on Bravo, but but in this scene, it really did read as like mother, I mean father daughter. It was really weird.

Speaker 1 And I try to be like open-minded to those age differences, but but this scene in particular was

Speaker 1 It just, if it's just, it's weird. You don't feel like they interact like husband and wife sometimes.

Speaker 1 It seems like, but because he's like a grump and he's sitting there, he's in the happiest place in all of the greater Snell Grove region.

Speaker 1 And he's sitting there with a scowl on his face, eating his little raspberry swirl ice cream. It's like, could you at least enjoy yourself?

Speaker 1 Can you enjoy that you're having a moment with your wife, your hot wife? Jesus. No, I'm going to take a moment to stand up for Todd here and say some of us enjoy ourselves by not enjoying ourselves.

Speaker 1 you know and i think that that's just todd's vibe and also um i think that Todd's a jerk to Bromwyn on camera. And I think it reads really scarily for their marriage.

Speaker 1 And I'm wondering like when she's divorcing him, because it seems like she's kind of setting us up for that. But on the other hand, I do think that he's like, I don't want to do this show.

Speaker 1 I told you I don't want to do this show. You're making me do this show a fucking game after you've been crying ever since you stopped shooting the last season of this show.

Speaker 1 And now I have to come to this show and talk about these women who are torturing you even more

Speaker 1 and give you advice and act like I give a shit about these people. Why are you making me do this? I think that's you know, that's fine.
And that's 100% his energy. And I picked up on that also.

Speaker 1 But how many times has Bronwyn had to go to work events for him and she had to smile through like insufferable work parties? It's like, you don't, we know you don't know. At least make an effort.

Speaker 1 Okay. Like, could you not make it seem like your wife's job is the biggest burden to you? Like, she's bringing in money.
Okay. She's

Speaker 1 standing up for herself. I think

Speaker 1 he may hate it, but you know, it's your job as a spouse to pretend you don't hate stuff. You know, we all do it.

Speaker 1 Yes, I'm gonna, you know, I sat through Sean Mendez the other day with smiles on my face.

Speaker 1 You know, yeah, did I have to get high to do it? Yes, but I did it because that's what you do for people you love, you know, and they come to crappin' shows and sit through that.

Speaker 1 I know that, I know they don't want to sit through that shit, but yeah, that you're right. I think that that is what you do for love.
It's like you hate you back. Fuck you straight up,

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Speaker 1 I enjoyed Todd last season, but I feel like he's been, he's exceptionally surly now in a righteous way. Before it was like he was awkward on camera, but I sort of saw something.

Speaker 1 But like now he, now he's been through it and now he's being a dick about it. And it's like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Your wife is allowed to make choices and allowed to do a TV show if she wants.

Speaker 1 And the only reason why there's any sort of, you know, embarrassment coming to your household right now is because of you.

Speaker 1 It's like that we're sitting here talking about this situation because of your attitude.

Speaker 1 Just enjoy yourself. Enjoy the fact that you're having ice cream.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And then well, also, you know, what kind of bugs me about him is that he acts like he's so above the other ladies. You know, he's like, oh, I'm just so above this.
Everybody gossiping and na-na-na.

Speaker 1 But he's not above talking shit about people.

Speaker 1 He's the meanest husband on here to the other housewives and calls them names and says all kinds of stuff about them. And he also seems to love to gossip about them.

Speaker 1 So it kind of makes me crazy because it's kind of that attitude of people who are above housewives in general,

Speaker 1 but then act worse than real housewives do in real life, you know, and you're like, oh, really? You're too mature for this show.

Speaker 1 Then you see them fighting over a football game. You know, we've talked about that a million times, but he reminds me of one of those people.
Like, you're not better than this, sir. You're not.

Speaker 1 I see no proof that you're better than this. So Bromwyn's doing your whole, like, I'm just so happy in this relationship.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 1 I got myself a whole Sunday, Todd, a whole Sunday. You remember how I did that when we first got together? Oh, but I got this drink because it has a maraschino cherries in it.

Speaker 1 And you know, I get so mad when I have a dessert and then you immediately take the cherry off the top. You know, I hate that, which is why I got a cherry and I, you're not going to take it off.

Speaker 1 You took the cherry. How could you do that, John?

Speaker 1 And he just does it.

Speaker 1 That's, that's actually the most dick thing that he does. She literally states her case.
for America to be like, aha, now you're locked in. Now it's, it's been stated to the world.

Speaker 1 So now you cannot take that cherry because the world is watching you and he takes the cherry anyway, which was dick. But also, Bronwyn, you know, you can ask for more than just one cherry.

Speaker 1 I just want to put that out there. You guys can get two cherries.
That way you can each have one. Yeah, make him get a cherry or order him a cherry or sit down and eat the cherry.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Instead of sitting there, leaving it on top and waiting for Todd to eventually get to your cherry, which you know is going to happen. So

Speaker 1 I don't know. There's so many vibes in here that I'm not even sure who to blame, you know, because I get kind of mad watching the both of them.
I'm like, neither of you want to be here.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Neither of you want to be here. It's like going to a restaurant you don't want to eat at, and then you sit there miserable the whole time.

Speaker 1 Like, I drove myself here, I walked myself in here, and I ordered from here.

Speaker 1 I've just never seen such a miserable scene in an ice cream parlor before.

Speaker 1 I just, it's, I know I've talked a lot about being on my no-carb month, but I was like, do you realize the privilege you have? You're eating ice cream.

Speaker 1 Now put a smile on your face and enjoy it. And go to pop to the counter and work out yourself another cherry.
God damn it. Exactly.
You guys can't do that. You'd like the cherry on a Sunday.

Speaker 1 Do you like the cherry? I don't love the cherry.

Speaker 1 I love the stem because I learned how to tie stems when I worked next to the bowling alley bar as a kid because I used to cook at the snack shop and the bowling alley bar had a window to the snack shop so we could pass food back and forth.

Speaker 1 And they were like chain smoking daughters of Ed. Ed was his name.
He owned the bar. And they used to show me how to tie cherry stems.

Speaker 1 And once I finally got it, I don't remember ever feeling that amazing since actually. Practice, practice, practice.
And then I got it. I was like, you know,

Speaker 1 do you have to like clamp down some of the stem with your teeth or something to like hold it in place? And you do the tongue to move it around. Like, how do you do it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Crazy.
Basically, you hold part down with your teeth and then you, you know, you got to work your tongue. You got to work that tongue around, move it around.
You got to really feel it.

Speaker 1 You got to, yeah, you got to be part of that cherry stem for a while, you guys. It's like acting.
Be one with it. You got to get method with it.

Speaker 1 So Bronwyn asked Todd how New York was, whatever New York is. And he's like, I was gone.

Speaker 1 And she's like, okay. And he's always on your farm working.
Dad?

Speaker 1 Yeah. He was, yeah.
And he's like, they were gone.

Speaker 1 And she's like, okay. Todd's parents are still alive.
Good for him. I know.
I was impressed. Good for them.
What are they eating? They must be eating a lot of avocados.

Speaker 1 We were talking about how healthy avocados were before we started recording today. We even looked it up.
Yeah, family chat. They're very healthy.
I think his parents are on it. I even looked it up.

Speaker 1 We went too far. That sounded like the conversation we were.
We were like, let's Google it. How healthy are avocados for you?

Speaker 1 And we found out they're like super healthy, you guys. So I think Todd's parents are like bathing in avocados or something.

Speaker 1 My poor friend AC is allergic to avocados, so she can't even get the health benefits. So tragic.
It's not fair.

Speaker 1 So Bronwyn is like, well, Todd, we talked about you that 30 seconds. Oh, you just ate the cherry.
Why would you do that? Why would you eat the cherry?

Speaker 1 Okay. So did you like my, the selfie I took yesterday? My outfit for Whitney's? You would have been so proud of me.
I mean, I can't even imagine talking to like dom like this. Did you like my selfie?

Speaker 1 Did you see it? You would have been so proud of me. Did you like it? Huh? I mean, I would definitely say, hey, did you see the selfie I sent you? I picked out a cute outfit.
What'd you think?

Speaker 1 But like, there's just something about like how she's kind of like trying to pry out conversation from him that I'm like, have you guys ever talked before?

Speaker 1 It's just a barrage of things he's not interested in. It's kind of my point.
She's like, hey, did you, did you go on the Instagram? Have you been on TikTok? Have you seen my selfie?

Speaker 1 He's like, no, I don't, what are you talking about? You get a 10 type and we'll talk about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She says, well, I don't think I raised my voice one time.
I wasn't, I wasn't in any of the chaos, which was fun at this party. And I'm always excited to see where it goes with Lisa, right?

Speaker 1 And she came in and we were fine. And in fact, she and Angie got like really crazy arguing with each other.
And then Angie was making some like really valid points. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 And Lisa did like, she did like dig stuff up on us remember she did do that and she does twist things that people tell her and she does like just a threatening thing and Todd's just like she's going on and on about this and Todd's just staring into his like ice cream and just like eating it sort of like when you know when they show um nature videos of like like feeding a turtle and the turtles always like

Speaker 1 it's always like and you always see all the the stuff in the turtle's mouth and you're like does the turtle like it and you're not sure what the whether the turtle likes it or not but the turtle eats it anyway and then's like okay i'm ready for more that's kind of what todd's energy is with the ice cream yeah todd just does not want to hear this shit.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh my God, here we go again. But, you know, Lisa does dig stuff up on people, Todd.

Speaker 1 She sure does. I'm like, you just did it too, though.
Yeah, but she sure does, Todd. And

Speaker 1 she does twist things, Todd. You know, that she does twist things.
And, you know, she does this threatening, like, don't start with me or I'll ruin you.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I heard Angie say at one point that I'm not going to be bullied by this. Like, I'm going to stand up for myself.
I know you don't care about the details. And he's like, at all.

Speaker 1 I don't care about the details at all. Let me tell you what I care more about than the details of this story.
Tiki talkie, you want me to do an arm dance? What do I have to do to get out of this?

Speaker 1 Well, do I get a high five? Do I get a high five or something for like not being in the chaos? He's like, well, congratulations and thank you is what you get.

Speaker 1 I'm like, Todd, you better not be dampening. Bron Wynn's star because like we've seen this happen before.
This happened with Paige DeSorbo when she was dating Perry and some other people.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, it happened with Stasi and Patrick. Like, don't, you know, like, let our bravo ladies be bravo ladies.

Speaker 1 And I, and to the bravo ladies, don't let these guys tell you how you should act because this is your career that's going on right now. Well, I don't think he's really telling her how to act.

Speaker 1 Look, I mean, look, I'm going to, I'm going to put it this way. We all have that overdramatic friend who's constantly calling us my.
boyfriend or girlfriend, depending on who it is.

Speaker 1 Like, my boyfriend is, you know, this way. He's emotionally abusive.
He's a jerk. He did this to me.
He did that to me. He cheated on me.
He did that. And you're like, you have to get out of there.

Speaker 1 You spend hours on the phone giving this person advice and supporting them and wanting to be there. And what's the first thing they do when they get the chance is go back to that guy.

Speaker 1 And then they come back like, oh, everything's great. We had a great time.
It was so good. We had a, we're, we're back together.
And you're supposed to be like, woohoo, when's the wedding?

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, at some point, you're like, how long do you get to just ruminate on this toxic bullshit and drag me through this toxic bullshit and our family through this and cry and moan and this and that.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, everything's great. We're going on a trip.
Isn't that great? Let's talk about Lisa some more. It's like, oh my God.
You know, that's a separate thing. I get that it's an issue.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Because

Speaker 1 I agree. I agree with you totally.
I think, I think Todd's totally within his rights to say, okay, like I've warned you, Lisa's no good for you.

Speaker 1 So if you go back, you try to mend things with her, that's fine. But if it falls apart again, I really don't want to hear it.
That's fine. I'm just saying that when she's like, did you see?

Speaker 1 I didn't yell. Wasn't I so good? I didn't yell.
I didn't get into the chaos. Wasn't I in good behavior? I'm like, I don't want Bronwyn changing her behavior.
Oh, I see. He's Todd.

Speaker 1 That's what I was saying. Yeah.
But your thing, your point was absolutely correct. Yeah, you're supposed to yell.
Yeah. Yeah.
Todd's reaction should have been, well, were you going to work or not?

Speaker 1 You should have been messing with you. Thank you.
Are you going to be in any clips? If I do go on TikTok, are you going to be in any clips from the show?

Speaker 1 No, because you didn't yell at anyone, Bronwyn. So if you're going to drag this family through your drama, you better at least make it into some clips on the TV.
Yeah, I'm lucky.

Speaker 1 It's like the person at Spell Guard saying, like, guess what? At work today, you'd be so proud of me. I didn't serve any soft sir.
I was really good about it. It's like, what? That's your job.

Speaker 1 Dude, guess what?

Speaker 1 I came home from building the house. I didn't lay one brick.
I'm like, aren't you going to get fired? You're a brick layer. Get back there.
Get to it.

Speaker 1 So she's telling us, look, Todd is just over this group of women. And in his mind, I I just can't keep showing up at the circus and being shocked by the clownery.

Speaker 1 Which is fair. I mean, you can't be shocked by the clownery, but Todd should allow you to go to the circus.
So

Speaker 1 I don't think anybody's going to be shocked by the clownery with you. You literally have a dinosaur costume that your mom is folding up right now that you go to the airport in.

Speaker 1 I think it would be more shocking if you went to the circus. And then

Speaker 1 it turns out that like

Speaker 1 Meg Whitman gave a speech. That would be more shocking because you're, you know, that there's going to be clowns at the circus.
So there's nothing shocking about that.

Speaker 1 It'd be more shocking if the former CEO of eBay made a speech instead.

Speaker 1 Well, I think it's fair to go to the circus and be annoyed by the clowns.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 Meg Whitman. I'm Meg Whitman, really.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to think of someone random in corporate, like not someone who does not speak at the circus. I was like, uh,

Speaker 1 Meg Whitman.

Speaker 1 I love keeping it current. I know.
I'm very,

Speaker 1 well, she does have Meg Whitman hair, kind of. Okay, so

Speaker 1 Ron went like, I mean, I did, I did have this moment of like, wobble, you know, when Lisa and I talked last week and I was really quick to just be like, I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 1 We could ruin each other. We shouldn't ruin each other.
And I do stand by that. But do you think you think I was too quick to neutralize this, Todd? Do you think I should keep fighting with Lisa?

Speaker 1 Do you? Do you, Todd? Oh my God, I love all these answers. Well, Todd knows Todd's not going to answer.
So I'll tell you that Todd knows me better than most people.

Speaker 1 And, you know, it's just always shocking to me that he doesn't know why I'm still trying to be friends with these women.

Speaker 1 I mean, I accepted Lisa's apology and I, and, you know, an apology is a kickoff to paving a new way forward.

Speaker 1 And Todd doesn't need to agree for that opinion of mine to be valid that I'm going to talk to Lisa again. So thank you for agreeing with me, Todd, that it's good that I'm talking to Lisa again.

Speaker 1 Oh, gosh. Oh, and this is the best part.
Whitney had a psychic come from New York and he's like, oh, for Christ's sake, what he tells you. Lisa's a bitch.
I could have told you that.

Speaker 1 Here,

Speaker 1 here's a psychic prediction. Good luck saving the next cherry till the end of the Sunday.
The Todd Monster's on top of it. I got a psychic.
You're not going to be digesting the cherry anytime soon.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 the psychic, he started with my mom first.

Speaker 1 And he was like,

Speaker 1 this time, this is as recovered as she's going to get. And he goes, oh, well, is that his medical opinion? I'm like, well, you're not a doctor either, Todd.

Speaker 1 I know, but

Speaker 1 I like that she didn't give the full information because what the psychic actually said was something along the lines of, you guys haven't been checking the right place. It's actually something wrong.

Speaker 1 What did he say? Like in her brain or something? Like she's got.

Speaker 1 He specifically told her some other medical issue.

Speaker 1 And I like that Ron was like, no, we definitely need to get her blood tested you know she's just like well she said that's as recovered as she's gonna get she's gonna die sooner than we thought so

Speaker 1 it was free the whole thing was free well i don't believe any of this i think it's all craziness todd how could you say that no i meant crazy that yours came with a cherry and mine didn't what is this place i'm never coming back And she's like, okay, do you feel like you can suspend your bullshit meter like a second?

Speaker 1 Because it really felt like a warning. I mean, he said it's kind of time to, you know, move past this with your mom.
And he's like, look, it's probably a 50-50 guess. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's what psychics are good for. They're good for guessing.
Right. Let me tell you what guess is worth.
A fart in the wind. That's about what they're worth.

Speaker 1 Todd. Okay.
Well, you didn't actually have to fart right now in the wind. That was, you know, this is, we're trying to.
Don't make fun of my farts. How dare you? That's divorce worthy.

Speaker 1 You know, you're really bumming me out. I'm just like trying to tell you something that I really enjoyed.
And I'm sitting here trying to like, I'm just, I'm just getting upset.

Speaker 1 And I'm just, I'm sitting here. I'm dropping, I'm trying to have ice cream with you.
You're eating my cherry. And I'm trying to tell you something that was funny.

Speaker 1 And you know how I, you know, because nothing makes you laugh more than a psychic that says your mom might die soon, right?

Speaker 1 And I was like, where's the funny part?

Speaker 1 You know how I feel when people misunderstand me. And I shouldn't have to feel I'm misunderstand by you too.
Like I shouldn't have to beg you.

Speaker 1 I shouldn't have to beg you to think that this is interesting.

Speaker 1 I shouldn't have to beg you to let you know that Whitney's psychic from New York said something interesting to me at a party when we're all yelling at each other.

Speaker 1 And he's just like, hmm. He doesn't really say anything.
He just kind of looks at her and like moves his jowls a little bit.

Speaker 1 And so she's like, well, I'm very accepting that Todd is less emotional than I am.

Speaker 1 And I would just love to feel the acceptance when I'm more emotional than he is. And I'd love to get to a point where I like don't have to get this upset for him to notice it.
But it's a process.

Speaker 1 It's a process. It's like you are going to hit yourself on the eyes with your, if, with your headband if you don't stop nodding your head.
It's going to hurt. Maybe that's why it's so weighted.

Speaker 1 It's gigantic. It's enormous.
Todd, I'm not telling you he gave me numbers and I converted our life savings into a lottery ticket. I'm telling you, if it touched something in me, then it's worthwhile.

Speaker 1 He goes, okay, well, that's an awesome thing to do. And I'm sorry.
She's like, oh, that's just it.

Speaker 1 A begrudging apology from Todd. What a weird scene.

Speaker 1 It really was. Yeah.
I don't know. I feel like you should be happier than this in a marriage.

Speaker 1 But maybe not. I mean, I don't know.
I would think so, too. What's it like?

Speaker 1 Tell us. Okay.
So then we go to Lisa's house. You have to imagine there's also some stress on that relationship with Muzzy hanging around that household.
Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

Speaker 1 As her sweatshirt says.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, this is not a new dynamic for Bromwyn and Todd.
And it's just one of those relationships you look at like, how is this a thing?

Speaker 1 Like, how are these people doing it and saying they're happy?

Speaker 1 You know, because they both, they they both say they're happy but it doesn't look like they're happy but i don't know maybe they're happy being unhappy i don't i don't know should she leave i don't even know if she should leave does she like it i mean does she like being with todd is he like really soft and cuddly when the cameras aren't on i mean i just don't know i don't really get it i don't know i kind of feel like the like everyone should be the same either way someone on twitter says todd loves his wife but doesn't understand her need to be on television and brawlin loves todd but loves being famous more and then brian Moylan said, absolutely correct.

Speaker 1 They now value different things. And I think divorce is inevitable.
So there, from Brian Moylan,

Speaker 1 the chairman of the Institute of Housewives, you heard it there first.

Speaker 1 Well, that's, yeah, I can see that.

Speaker 1 You know, I think that's a problem with a lot of these shows, you know, when one goes off and become famous because the husband is, you know, it's like if, especially if they married someone rich, like in this case, she's married to Todd, who's very well known and makes a lot of money.

Speaker 1 So he was kind of the star in their relationship and that changed over and i don't i don't see somebody just being like oh you don't like tv okay i'll give all that up yeah yeah so now we go to lisa's house and she's packing for the below deck trip and um john comes in with some suitcases oh yeah hey remember when we went on that yacht trip and i had like nine suitcases and i was like this is nuts he's like yeah overkill where where are you guys going in gone on yeah so i think it's like by the galapagos islands and then we see a map that shows that they are nowhere near each other whatsoever yeah and she's like

Speaker 1 there's nothing better than when you get on a boat and it's like oh i'm just thinking about a piña colada and boom you get a piña colada like it's the best thing ever so i'm sure this is gonna be fun but like you know like it's only three days but i'm used to going seven to ten but whatever i'm going with poor people so That's how it is, you know.

Speaker 1 But I wish I had some say on the guest list because it would be very different. It would be a very different guest list if I had to say.

Speaker 1 By the way, John, I forgot to tell you. I like talking to a psychic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, at Whitney's party, he like brought up like all, he brought up us and he's like, do you guys feel like you're having a communication problem right now? You know?

Speaker 1 And John's like, well, maybe he was. Yeah, because it seemed like it really resonated when he said you guys are having communication problems.
Like you're not on the same page with things.

Speaker 1 Lisa interrupting John to find out if they have a communication problem is perfect Lisa Barlow. I wish they just showed that scene.

Speaker 1 I think it was from last season where John comes in and Lisa's on her phone. He's like, hey, honey,

Speaker 1 I was wondering if you want dinner. And she's just ignoring him on his phone.
Yeah. And maybe we could go over our taxes later.
She just ignores him and swipes on him.

Speaker 1 He tries like five different things and she never even looks at him once. And he finally just like shrugs and walks out of the room.
It's perfect. That is their communication.
That is it.

Speaker 1 So Lisa is like, yeah, it really resonated me when he said that you guys are having communication problems like like you guys are like not on the same page with things you know it's like oh so what yeah you know so like part of me it's like you know i guess part of that's true i guess part of that's true

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's like not a specific catalyst for this. Like it's been going on since before we got married, actually.

Speaker 1 That's because there's like blurred lines between business and family and marriage and things like that. And like knowing Ben Affleck.
And like, I manage like the entire house, plus, I work.

Speaker 1 And sometimes I just like feel like that, I'm just taken for granted, like, where it's like normal. Like, I just, I'm like this lady who just like does everything for these people all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And like, I get really sad.
And like, when I get really sad, I like have to go to my car and put on a cowboy hat and a denim dress. That's what I'm wearing right now.
I don't know why.

Speaker 1 Do you know why? Does anybody know why?

Speaker 1 But I go sit in my car and I call my dad and I'm like, dad, this is hard. This is hard.
Hold on, dad. Let me open the window.

Speaker 1 And you know what? It's like, sad, I have to call my dad to do that instead of John.

Speaker 1 That's so hard.

Speaker 1 John's like, well, we aren't on the same page because I don't think you want to hear what I have to say because. You're already.
Yeah, but like, you know what? Like same pages like means like books.

Speaker 1 I don't like that, John. You know, I don't like reading books, John.
You know, like, I'm just frustrated, John. I'm just frustrated.

Speaker 1 I guess what I'm saying is that saying i want to hear what you have to say john i want to hear what you have to say that's what's like really on my heart is the following sentence yeah i know that's on my heart too me too john that's what i'm saying

Speaker 1 i just yeah i think that like me too like like i was saying here's how i really remember when i took nine things on the remember when i took nine suitcases on the yacht that was hilarious

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I guess you don't really

Speaker 1 yeah, Joseph Smith knows better. I wish I could call Joseph Smith right now.
He listens to me more than you, John. Yeah.

Speaker 1 everything you do is perfect it's just me I'm the problem it's me

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Speaker 1 Do not stay calm. Push people out of the way.

Speaker 1 So now we go to Angie's house and Mary's coming over and it's really awkward. Andy's like, hello, Mary.
And she's like, hi. Well, that's you decided to open the door for me this time.

Speaker 1 And usually I have to let myself in because you're too busy to get the door. So thank you for getting the door.

Speaker 1 Well, I brought you your favorite drink, Arizona iced tea, baklava flavor, but they didn't have the one with no sugar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is like seven cups of sugar don't even drink that for yourself please don't i mean don't just get this away from me all right mirror i want to look at it you look nice

Speaker 1 you look nice you look almost greek you look so nice thank you do you want a water you want a water no you want greek water no this is water from greek no's water no water listen i just stopped i just stopped by to talk okay i don't want your water i want i want your liquids okay just talk to me i don't want liquid things in my mouth for you.

Speaker 1 Of course, I had to make a snack. Here's a giant snack for us.
Here's the snack. Do you want want the snack the snack is here snacks

Speaker 1 that i don't want that

Speaker 1 i don't want to eat that tower no it's i'm not gonna do it

Speaker 1 i feel like i'm in the principal's office it's like principal zeus is here and he's scolding me and i know what it feels like because i was a regular but this time i'm actually feeling a little bit scared

Speaker 1 mary's just looking at her like

Speaker 1 ew

Speaker 1 with complete distaste on her face she's like ew why am i even here it's disgusting

Speaker 1 mary i just want to say i am sorry i know that you wanted me to calm down and i know that you were there and you were trying to help me and it's hard for me to allow someone to bully me because i was so bullied by that you're becoming products that you're becoming that you're becoming the bully on the playground that you're becoming i'm responding i'm responding i'm not bullying her i'm responding to dusty products in my basement i was bullied by dusty products Yeah, but you know what?

Speaker 1 You get so angry that you can't even focus on getting sugar-free Arizona iced tea. And then you bring people sugar.

Speaker 1 And I could be dead of diabetes right now because you get so angry that you can't even focus. And then, what am I supposed to do if I can't calm you down? Why am I there?

Speaker 1 And then you're allowing someone to get mad to the point that it's affecting our friendship and my iced tea. And that's what we have to talk about.
And we, you know, you, it's like I don't even exist.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, Angie, Angie. And you're just like, ah, ah, eat sugar, eat sugar, eat sugar, put sugar down your throat, put sugar down your throat.

Speaker 1 You know, and then like you launched me like I was your enemy, that you wanted me to have diabetes right right there on the spot.

Speaker 1 I was frustrated with the whole table, okay?

Speaker 1 You're supposed to be my sister. You're supposed to be my sister, but you're not my sister.
No, you're not.

Speaker 1 Find another one, Kay, because if you were really my sister, you would be able to marry my grandpa if I ever died, but you're not. So good luck.

Speaker 1 Good, good luck here with your sugar-eating, muscular husband with Louis Vuitton bags. I don't want to be on eggshells and I don't want to.
No, there's not actual eggshells on the floor, Mary.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, that was a metaphor. Did not mean to spook you.
I don't want to feel like you're mad at me for being me. But you're different.
You're different lately. You are different.

Speaker 1 And she says that Angie's kind and easygoing and cool, but lately she's always throwing a tantrum. Now, I don't know where Mary was during the other seasons, but.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Angie's throwing tantrums every season. And she's like, and that's a trigger.
And you don't evolve by attacking other people. It's almost like you go backwards, you know?

Speaker 1 And I used to know a girl that went backwards. She kept going backwards and backwards.
And I would tell her, no, come forwards. Communion is forwards.

Speaker 1 But she kept going backwards and backwards until she walked into the street and she got run over right in front of the church by a truck that was going forward. It was ironic.

Speaker 1 And that truck fell into a neighborhood and that truck died too.

Speaker 1 She's like,

Speaker 1 so Mary's like, you know, you're in a space and I don't know who you are. And you're a little bit mean.
Like when you made fun of my fart. You kept on making fun of my fart.
Your fart?

Speaker 1 My fart.

Speaker 1 And we see a flashback to this like lunch that mary bronwyn and angie had where mary farts by accident and then giggles about it and then angie keeps on ragging on her about it she's like i guess we'll sit over there away from mary's farts oh look there's electra let me warn her that there's a smell of farting here from mary

Speaker 1 well first First of all, the dog farted, not me. And then you said, oh, maybe that's Mary.
And then you said, come on, Bronwyn, we better sit over here because Mary's got gas. And then your dog farts.

Speaker 1 And then it smelled the whole house up. And then it shows a close-up of the dog.
And the dog's like,

Speaker 1 sitting all gorgeously. And then you blamed it on me like it was my fart.
And I'm like, first of all, I eat healthy. Okay.
And my farts don't come out like that.

Speaker 1 And we should, we should know the fart between my fart and a dog fart. And you didn't even know my fart between a dog fart.
I mean, what kind of friend are you? You think I just have a dog fart?

Speaker 1 So now you're just accusing me of having dog farts and I'm just supposed to be your friend?

Speaker 1 And then you said, oh my God, Mary, is that you? And I'm like, okay, enough. i got it next time i won't tell you when i fart then

Speaker 1 oh my god i was like at first i thought she was being silly for the cameras but then i was like i think this is a real rant right now because

Speaker 1 and you cannot she's like trying not to laugh and what's even worse is that when she tries to not laugh she puts her fingers out her nose so it looks like she's trying not to smell mary what are you holding my what are you holding your nose now like i farted again i did not fart do not accuse me of farting if someone farted it was you

Speaker 1 She's like, I didn't smell your fart, but you acknowledged that you had farted. So that's why I said it.
Seriously, like, if you farted, I wouldn't make fun of you for farting.

Speaker 1 And you don't even know if I smelled your fart before. And maybe I have, but I would never talk about it and make fun of you because I'm your friend.
But you didn't smell my fart.

Speaker 1 Like, you didn't smell my fart. You just said you did.
And then you blame me for having to dog fart.

Speaker 1 She's like, but I, but you said that you farted. I said, I have gas.
Well, so I said, why don't you sit over there? And she goes, well, I was offended by it. Okay.

Speaker 1 So then she's like, okay, I think we have to end this. So she sort of takes her hand and she goes, I appreciate you.
Give me your hand.

Speaker 1 No, we're not ready. We're not ready.
We're not there yet. We're not there yet.
I came over here. I almost died of, I almost died of diabetes.
I would have had sugar farts then.

Speaker 1 Then you could have come at me with sugar farts for this sugar, Arizona.

Speaker 1 There will be a day, Mary, when I won't be here to clutch your hand. Instead, there'll be a different lady here gutting a fish in my backyard.

Speaker 1 So enjoy this moment. Life swap, 10.30 tonight.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 Mary is like, you know, I,

Speaker 1 you know, hold on. I don't want to lose you, but you have to understand me too.
Okay. I pull back in certain situations where I feel a level of disrespect or I farted.

Speaker 1 And finally, I farted around somebody and didn't pull back. And now I have dog farts.

Speaker 1 So she's like, okay. And so Mary talks about how she doesn't let people in.

Speaker 1 but once she does let people in, you know, she puts you on a pedestal and she wants the best for you and she wants you to thrive. And then she starts crying.
She's like, I don't know why I'm crying.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I didn't do that. That wasn't me.
That was Dancy's dog. Why are you crying?

Speaker 1 Your fart was a little stinky. It's kind of making us react.
How dare you accuse me of farting?

Speaker 1 I live my life with a guard up because I've been dogged with gas, lots of gas from a dog, dog gas. There's a difference.
I don't have, I don't have this often farting, that is, but also friendship.

Speaker 1 This comes into my life every 20 years.

Speaker 1 And I get a, you know, I get a friend that I love and I feel secure and I feel like I trust you and I can talk to you and I can tell you stuff I don't tell people.

Speaker 1 And Angie is like, if you want to accuse me of having dog farts again, I will un-memorize you. I will un-memorize you.
I like that. I've never heard that threat before.
I never heard that either.

Speaker 1 That was a great

Speaker 1 unmemorized your existence

Speaker 1 and so and it's like i acknowledge you they actually it's like it's a really lovely like moment because andrew's like i acknowledge you you this is my heart like i've learned from you i'll work

Speaker 1 better and i actually feel like this is like what you want from a friend is to be like i'm mad i'm so mad at you but you mean a lot to me and i want you to know you're doing things that are really hurting me and that for to have the other friend hear it and say i hear it i'm going to work on it like this was actually a lovely lovely moment you know sometimes i do do okay sometimes i was just gonna say i'm a little mixed on when people say i don't let people in so when i do let people in it means a lot like i almost like don't want to be held hostage by whatever like issues you have with relating to people at the same time you know this is this separate from their their like i think it was great how they made up and i think it's really lovely that like oh i'm so lucky

Speaker 1 yeah like i think it's i think it's i love i love that angie respects this about mary and i think it's it's good to respect that like it's you know but but sometimes when people are like, I don't have a lot of friends, so you've been let in.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, stop using that as leverage in our friendship, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, for me, what was interesting about this is two things. One, Mary gets, you know, like this, where she's just like, I'm pissed and I'm leaving.
And she just gets mad.

Speaker 1 And it's over things that most people watching are like, huh? Why are you mad at that?

Speaker 1 Like, even though she got mad at Angie, like she got mad at Angie for being mad and not listening to her, but then she didn't have like a a fight with Angie, you know? Why would you walk off?

Speaker 1 It seems unreasonable. This seems like too much.
And she's always been like that on the show. And then on the other hand, you have Angie, and she won't forgive you either.

Speaker 1 Mary will take a long time to forgive, which is funny for a preacher. But then Angie, on the other hand, will just go off and go off on anybody.
And she also really won't relent for a while.

Speaker 1 Like if you, if you come for her, she feels like she's being attacked.

Speaker 1 She goes overboard and just goes crazy and puts her finger in your face and does all that, brings out props, you know, does the whole thing.

Speaker 1 So it's interesting to see both Mary kind of forgive someone so quickly and also be so open emotionally.

Speaker 1 And also to see Angie not get triggered or whatever and start fighting and instead be like, okay, okay, you're right. You know, so it's interesting.
It's a, it's a cute friendship.

Speaker 1 Well, I think that they actually acknowledge like they acknowledge that this is a real friendship and that there's something special between them. And it's important to

Speaker 1 not just treat it as reality show fodder.

Speaker 1 Like if something is wrong, if something's broken or if someone's upset, they have to sort of stop everything and be like, okay, we have to listen to each other.

Speaker 1 And I think that's actually really beautiful.

Speaker 1 I think the whole audience, we all pick up on it because like sort of circling back to my thought about how it can be kind of frustrating that like someone's issues in life

Speaker 1 means that they get to have this thing of like, oh, I don't let a lot of people in. So you've been let in.
So now you've got to act a certain way can be frustrating.

Speaker 1 But at the same time, people have issues in their lives and they do have their guards up. So, when you have been let in, it is kind of special.

Speaker 1 So, it's nice to see Angie is taking that very seriously. And it's and you know, it means something because Mary normally, if someone pisses Mary off, she's like, Bye.

Speaker 1 And we've seen it happen a million times. But the fact that she comes back and she lets Angie have it, but then she's like, But I love you and I want you in my life is a big deal.

Speaker 1 I think we haven't really seen Mary do that before.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 so now we go over to Heather and Lisa shopping.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'm late.

Speaker 1 I've never been here. What is this? Katie Waltman.
Katie Waltman, a story called Katie Waltman. I don't know her.
Who is that? Is that someone? Yeah, I don't know that.

Speaker 1 I think that like one time I was like supposed to come here, but like my yacht trip was like seven to 10 days long.

Speaker 1 So I just wasn't able to get here in time because I was still on the yacht that was going for seven to ten days. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's nice to come to a shop where people who only bring one suitcase on yachts shop. Yeah.
That's nice. Yeah, this is great.
A 100k three-day yacht shop. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Heather, you know about that because you went on below deck before. So this is what it's like when you go on your three-day charters.
Yeah, so fun for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Heather's like, wow, you look fresh and fabulous. Is everything okay, sister?

Speaker 1 She's like, I'm great. Yeah, so excited.
We get to use our passports. We're going on a super yacht.
I mean, can I take requests? Like, come on, like, can I bring glam?

Speaker 1 She's like, no, you cannot bring glam. And then we have a flashback to, we're talking about, I I have glam in Monaco, I have glam in Central Bay, I have glam everywhere I go.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, so you're gonna have to help me with my makeup every day, either. She's like, well, no, I'll have Whitney help you because this is a sisterhood.

Speaker 1 And each one of us will pick up a makeup brush and we'll do all of our faces all together as a group because that's what we do for our sisters. A pass if Whitney's gonna do it, I'll pass, a pass.

Speaker 1 Oh, then Angie can blow out your hair. I pass, I pass.

Speaker 1 You don't trust her with your hair? I don't trust her with anything. I don't trust her with anything.
She'll probably hope that my son dies while I get my hair done. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, she's coming on my son.

Speaker 1 She's coming on the trip, so you have to be ready, Lisa. Yeah, well, that'll be nice for Angie, since she's never been on a luxury trip like that or on a yacht either.

Speaker 1 She's never even been on a yacht. Poor Angie.

Speaker 1 So that'll be cool. It'll be her first experience on a nice boat.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to haze Angie as much as you two keep hazing each other.

Speaker 1 Think of her attacks. You know what? She's getting high off of that.
She can get high off of it

Speaker 1 all she wants to. I'm getting high here just being in, I'm sorry, what's this story?

Speaker 1 Whatever this Walmart is, support person.

Speaker 1 I'm getting high on it. I did not see Angie get high off of their attacks.

Speaker 1 This is a sisterhood. We are here to support each other.
She was crying. She was upset to me.
Why is she crying? She was poor.

Speaker 1 Is she crying because she's a mean bitch?

Speaker 1 Like, why is she crying why because she doesn't have money in a purse that's probably why like why does she do you think she feels bad about being a mean batch

Speaker 1 yeah if you if you can't even understand why she's crying it's obvious because she opened up the new york times and did not have a bestseller book like i did of course she's crying okay look lisa if she's a mean bitch you're a mean bitch you're both mean bitches you know what what did i do wrong

Speaker 1 what did i do wrong though because in my opinion my opinion and she shouldn't have been starting being nasty about my kid's brand you know like that's disgusting, that is disgusting,

Speaker 1 no, I know that was hurtful, as hurtful as it probably was for all of you. Yeah, but then she goes,

Speaker 1 yeah, but then she goes lower and lower, like, hey, you want to call me a cut fitness? I'm going to say it louder.

Speaker 1 I'm yes, yes, I did say cut fitness, lady with the semi-crossed eyes, looking at me funnily. Who is that lady looking at me funny? What did you just come in here from the

Speaker 1 from a compound? Who are you? What are you looking at? Like, I just work here, ma'am. Yeah, well, keep working.
Keep Keep working, Gene Folder, okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just like sick of her nasty, nasty dig. She's always commenting.

Speaker 1 Well, I think she's sick of your digs too. But I didn't dig at her.
Are you kidding me? What are you saying that you,

Speaker 1 what you're saying that you hate about Angie is exactly what you did? How is that? How is that what you're doing? How is what you're doing different?

Speaker 1 It's almost like Bravo needs a spin-off called Surviving Barlow, which would be a spin-off of my spin-off, Surviving Mormonism, which I'm hosting, Lisa.

Speaker 1 Well, how did I go low? How did I go low? How did I go low? How did I go low? How did I go low?

Speaker 1 How did I go low? Who's the soup man? Is he Mormon? Did he survive it? Yeah, but she just said I cheated on my husband, though. So I'm like, I don't know.
Why don't you worry about your suit man?

Speaker 1 So is it suit man or soup man? Sue, you know? Sue.

Speaker 1 Sue.

Speaker 1 That soup? Sue. Or is it suit? It's suit.
Like Sioux chef? Sue. Sue? Like a boy named Sue.
Sue. Is he a Native American Sioux of the Sioux tribe?

Speaker 1 Sioux. Sioux.
Sioux. Sioux.
Sioux. Sue.

Speaker 1 You mean Fuda? Like John Fuda from New Jersey? No, no, Darius, by the way. Shout out.
Darius. No, but like a guy from

Speaker 1 a Sioux kitchen, you know, like not a suit you wear, but like a

Speaker 1 Morocco suit you wear, like not like a suit you eat.

Speaker 1 Oh, a suit you wear, like a lawsuit, like the ones that you have against you? Is that what you're talking about?

Speaker 1 Yes, so, so, yeah, dismissed, yeah. She'd say to get dismissed, man.
Is that what you're saying? Dismissed. Those were dismissed.

Speaker 1 Learning that suit man is actually suit man clears a lot of things up. First of all, he sounds hotter.

Speaker 1 Heather, just earning those checks.

Speaker 1 So she's like, wait a minute, who's the suit man? Nobody. You know what? And why did she say I cheated on my husband then? Then why does she say that?

Speaker 1 And she goes, but wait, but why would you say that?

Speaker 1 So look, you got to hand Lisa credit. Lisa's being an asshole in the scene, and she's being an asshole usually, but Lisa is not going there with Suitman.

Speaker 1 We talked about on Crappy Hour who Suitman could possibly be. That lady Sophia from, who used to be a host on Caller Daddy, claims that

Speaker 1 Angie was dating her ex, who they call Soupman, who's some guy who graduated with a degree in Greek studies or something. So that's kind of the goss on that, just the internet gossip on that.

Speaker 1 But she doesn't go there. She's just like, nobody.
So maybe she's saving it for later. I don't know.
But then she says, but then why did she say you cheated on your husband?

Speaker 1 Whitney was the one who brought, wasn't it Whitney who brought that up with,

Speaker 1 no, wait, who's cheating on the husband? Would Monica and Whitney were like, we know something about the husband? Don't talk about the husband. That was Sean, right?

Speaker 1 God, that's so many petty arguments ago because well meredith said let's talk about my husband she had that

Speaker 1 but then they had that lisa barlow event that vita event or whatever where

Speaker 1 whitney and monica pulled over angie and whitney's like i think you should tell her and then remember when she got she kind of manipulated monica into being the one to out this information so they could all be like monica's the one who did it and monica was like well yeah i heard your husband is gay everybody's saying your husband is gay or whatever so she's the one who brought that to camera with whitney but of course lisa lisa has no chill and it's so easy to blame lisa for things because she never fights properly and so they could just blame everything on lisa and that's what they're gonna do

Speaker 1 so heather is like well there is no suit man and there's no suit man she's just throwing out and seeing waiting to see what sticks i mean look There's a, there's a per, there's a reason that no one ever writes hard for you, Lisa.

Speaker 1 And I think it's because they've all been burned by you when everyone at the table has a history with you.

Speaker 1 Where have you gone? You've gotten low before, Lisa.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. Well, maybe I shouldn't go on the boat trip then.
Maybe I should go. I'm putting on my sunglasses now so you can't see me cry.

Speaker 1 You have to acknowledge that we have come a long way, that our history is dark. It is, Lisa.
You know what? Dark, dark history. You know what?

Speaker 1 You should talk to Angie about it because she's more than willing to talk to yo about it. You know, you should talk to her in the dark about it with soap

Speaker 1 i i actually have i have i have oh now you talked to angie about it great you don't need to get upset yeah yeah

Speaker 1 i i really did not think i was coming here today i thought i was i thought i was gonna come here to look at poor people clothes with that cross-eyed girl over there giving me judgy looks i still see you cross-eyed girl but

Speaker 1 your mother your sister stop staring at me

Speaker 1 Well, listen, what am I even saying to you other than that we have history?

Speaker 1 We are like two pods in the same drawer for my coffee machine we're in it together we're in it we're stuck in it so why are you acting like this i'm really not just hand forward i'm just as low

Speaker 1 i'm just as low i'm just as low i'm just as low yeah you cannot expect me to just sit here and let you diss her and be like outie 5000 and say that she does all these horrible things horrible things and not look at you and say you do too what you two are doing has no end point you are like Mormonism and people need to survive you I hope there's a special about it that I can host yeah you know what then then stop talking about me and then I won't have anything to say about her okay don't count my money because I don't count hers you know not that it's that hard to count because she has like two dollars because I counted that yeah that would be so easy to count her money because she doesn't have any money yeah Lisa Lisa what when you say something like I could count her money it'd really be fucking easy.

Speaker 1 You might as well counter fucking money because you're not saying it in a way that makes you cooler or kinder. You're saying it exactly low.
Like she would say, do you understand this, Lisa?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but why can poor people start it, but rich people can't say anything back? Or we're like in the 1% where it's like, you want to burn us all. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, I'm sorry that I have a job. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, the nerve of her to say this right now? Like in this poor person's store that like is for like three-day yacht trips?

Speaker 1 Like heather are you blind and deaf because clearly you don't see all the times everyone's coming for me non-stop and it's hard with you and i wish i had something that would go for the deaf thing too because i said you don't see the things but i'm just gonna assume you're not hearing the things too okay that's my metaphor

Speaker 1 so um we see you know

Speaker 1 basically we see a flashback to where it all began where heather's like how could you call me a good time girl that could have that would have gotten me suspended from school.

Speaker 1 Surviving Good Time Girlism by Heather Gay.

Speaker 1 So Elisa's like, like, you know how much I put up with, with Heather? Like, you know, and I'm like, glad? I'm, like, I could give you your book a title, by the way. Like, this is like bullshit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I came up with a title, remember? Because she does, she does have a title called Good Time Girls. I mean, Good Time Girl.
Got to be careful.

Speaker 1 When you make fun of people on these shows, they take it over. Like, Luanne took Giovanni.
Paige and Hannah took Giggly Squad from Kyle. Yeah, you need to trademark your insults on these shows.

Speaker 1 You need to be like Dorinda and just run trademarks on everything you say. Yeah.
Yeah. Don't let those disses fall into wrong hands.
Disses.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but you know what? She does. She doesn't want anyone to say anything back to her.
She does this to Brittany. Oh, wait, no one cares about Brittany, Lisa.
Where are you even bringing her up?

Speaker 1 I mean, you said so many things back to her. She's like, you know what? I didn't say so many nasty things back to her.
She called me a cut fitness.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, you know what thank you okay roll call I'm here yes cross-eyed salesperson I said cut fitness again okay

Speaker 1 that poor 16 year old girl with the big curly hair and she's just like looking left and right like

Speaker 1 am I going to outer darkness by hearing these words

Speaker 1 I'm not saying this to hurt you or this poor sweet girl who is sort of my daughter's age and I almost wish she would get out of the store so I could live my life.

Speaker 1 But anyway, you know, but I'm not trying to drudge it up.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying it so that you can see that it's never going to stop unless we acknowledge it and i say and i say it to you you know i want to get this off my chest too because the most important thing is to have you at peak emotional fresh frustration or frustration before we get on the boat and you can't escape

Speaker 1 You know what? Like, I'm like sick of being labeled like this. Like, you don't feel bad.
Like, I think she needs to take accountability.

Speaker 1 And I told her, I'm like, I just want to get, I just want to get my kids' product.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to be that nice, nice that day that I sent my assistant to her dusty store with two built with two dollars it was like in the parking lot it was like under an umbrella like it was like the worst store i've ever seen in my life like there there were like a bunch of bald people in there because she like does hair so bad you know i was just like trying to be nice

Speaker 1 Lisa, you're not going to win. I've already won.
I've got this spinoff in the book. You're not going to win.
You want to win something. She wants to win something and you're both losing.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to move forward with you right now with the stuff that I'm using to bring us backwards.

Speaker 1 And I'm hoping that this trip will help us bring us all together the way so many of our trips always have traditionally on our show.

Speaker 1 If there's anything about a real housewives of Salt Lake City trip is that it brings us closer and we emerge more maturely.

Speaker 1 But like until you really clear it up or change it, it's never going to go away, Lisa. Oh, God.
And Lisa's just like,

Speaker 1 well, one thing. I have to say, oh, sorry.
No, good. I don't have to say.
No,

Speaker 1 I was about to transition into the next scene. And if you were about to say something about this scene, I didn't want to stomp on it.
No, I was going to do the same thing.

Speaker 1 Well, I was going to say, if there's one thing that the Real House has a Salt Lake City is known for is chaos and hilarity.

Speaker 1 But if there's one thing it's become really good at are riveting mother-daughter scenes, because guess what? Here comes another one that I was not expecting. This is worse than I thought it could be.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, this Britney situation is, I have to say, I mean,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm really judgy on this show and I get it. Like I'm judgy and bitchy and mean sometimes and stuff like that.
But I do try in my head to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Speaker 1 And I remember saying last week with Britney, with this whole thing, people coming after, you know, Whitney saying, no, you need to go, you need to stop dating him for 30 days and prove to your daughter.

Speaker 1 And I was like, well, but did the daughter even ask for that? Like, is that really the problem? Like, what is the problem? Because it's never really been explained.

Speaker 1 Britney said in the past, you know, I've chosen men over my daughter. Okay, well, that's a bad enough confession, right?

Speaker 1 So it's not like I think Brittany's so innocent, but wow, it's a lot worse than even I thought this would be

Speaker 1 bad. It's, it's bad and it's sad because what it, to me, what it shows is, well,

Speaker 1 I don't have any sympathy for Brittany in this situation. She really.

Speaker 1 No, and I'm not saying you do, but what I will say is that it makes, I do feel sad for her as a person because she,

Speaker 1 she's kind of a broken person, right?

Speaker 1 right like what we really do see is that like when that first marriage ended clearly something switched like i i think she like couldn't deal she clearly had to like excise that part of her life and just like pour herself into a new life that she's been trying trying to chase this stuff but like this lady needs she needs help she really does and it's it's it's really sad to see someone cause that much damage on her poor daughter because

Speaker 1 her own her own shit's kind of broken at the moment you know yeah i I don't even see the like she needs help thing.

Speaker 1 I look at it as kind of like a, you can't really help a narcissist sometimes because she doesn't even seem to get it. Like she never really gets it.
She can never really explain it.

Speaker 1 I mean, let's go on with it, you know, for people who actually need a recap of it. But they, so first of all, I want to say, thank God for traumatic parents because they do raise great theater kids.

Speaker 1 Because this kid, Olivia, is clearly a theater child. I mean, she comes in, she has the

Speaker 1 of one, she has the outfit of one, and she definitely has the voice of one. She's like, hello, mother.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, it's like a living room play projected to the balcony, you know? It really is.

Speaker 1 And by the way, something that is, I think, also worth noting is that this mother-daughter scene that is going to be very riveting and intense.

Speaker 1 is going to play out at sort of like the high top counter on the side of a coffee shop full of like lots of people just on their laptops.

Speaker 1 It's like, and they're going to want, and they will wind up like the daughter, their voices will be raised. There will be tears.
And I'm like, I cannot believe you guys are doing.

Speaker 1 You're not even sitting at a proper table. Like they're sitting at that little side thing.
Like, which

Speaker 1 couldn't even get a table? Like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 So it seems okay at first. They hug.
It's nice. And Brittany's.
Well, not really, because she's, the kid walks in. It's like, hello, mother.
And she's like, oh, hi.

Speaker 1 Hug, you want to hug? She's like, um, okay.

Speaker 1 So she lets her hug her.

Speaker 1 Well, meaning it's, it starts off nicer than where it ends. Yeah.
Like it's, it's, it's, there's still, there are smiles that are present. Um, so Brittany is explaining that her reading with Terrence

Speaker 1 was like prophetic. It made her realize that she needs to step back from her romantic relationship to focus on what's really important, which is her daughter.
I'm like, is that prophetic or is it just

Speaker 1 the most recent person to tell you that? Or is it just something that's obvious and happening in current times?

Speaker 1 even whitney could tell you to do that she did but you didn't notice because you were distracted by the pain you were inflicting on yourself by stroking a cactus okay

Speaker 1 so britney's like well uh

Speaker 1 so honey i got you a steamer do you get it no i was like a steamer no she's like what you know what i'm talking about no no i don't know what a steamer is remember when you were four You threw that tantrum and you said, I didn't get any coffee.

Speaker 1 But like, really? Because like, I used to buy steamers. Remember? And that's that's why you call coffee remember that honey you don't you don't remember this mom i was four i was four

Speaker 1 don't worry i videotaped the whole thing because you know math i know you love math too remember the video i sent you about your math test oh god here here it is oh i can't find it honey it's in here somewhere Oh, so she's like, well, we were in Starbucks and you would kick and you would scream.

Speaker 1 And I'm not kidding you. Screaming at the top of your lungs, I want coffee.
And everyone would look at me like, what kind of mother are you? You give your child coffee.

Speaker 1 So, no, I didn't get you coffee. I would get you steamers instead.
That was,

Speaker 1 still don't get it. Huh? Don't remember? Nope.
Still don't remember. That's pretty funny though, mom.
Funny story. Yeah, that was.

Speaker 1 This is

Speaker 1 like this is you're, you're going to connect with something from her when she was four years old. Also, I just feel like reconciliation talk should never start with like banter about steamers.

Speaker 1 I just feel like the word steamer does not really work

Speaker 1 with reconciliation. I don't know know why.
I think we already had a lot of talk about farts. Now we're talking about steamers.
I think let's just like move on to like different words. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she's like, that's funny. She goes, okay, well, she tells us that with her daughter, she got divorced from their dad.
She

Speaker 1 desperately tried to create a perfect, happy family. So she married again immediately.
But she was caught in this tug of war between husband and children.

Speaker 1 And she thought, wow, I can finally get to my kids when I'm a good enough wife. And then eventually her kids moved in with their dad.
I don't believe. Wow.
I believe she was like, oh no,

Speaker 1 that situation was a failure, but I've got a new guy now and this will be perfect. So goodbye, old life.
Hello, new life. I'm the new Brittany now.
That's what I think probably happened.

Speaker 1 Or like the man left me.

Speaker 1 So I need to make sure that the man doesn't leave me, you know, so I need to give maybe I was too focused on the kids and now I need to focus on the man because the man left me because I was, you know, I didn't even notice what the man was doing behind my back because he, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to keep the man.

Speaker 1 It's like putting the man above your kids. I mean, which she says multiple times, but it's crazy to hear this.
Yeah. And this happens a lot.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously a lot of, a lot of kids have issues with their step parents because a lot of times they're, you know, they, they feel like their parents have kind of abandoned them to focus on this new person.

Speaker 1 It's a, it's a, it's, it's a tricky thing to do that it sounds like Brittany utterly failed at. So it sounds like she didn't even try.
She was just like, I'll get to the kids later.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to focus on the man now. And to the point where they moved in with her dad, she's just like, bye.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think that would Britney's saying that she was like, I figured if I was a really good wife, I could then get to get to my kids.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, I don't think you're adding this like little like twist to it to make it seem like actually the ignoring Olivia and the kids was somehow virtuous.

Speaker 1 Like you were on a path of misguided virtue. I don't think it was that.
I think you just were like scared that you were going to be left. And you were, I think it's what you said.

Speaker 1 Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

Speaker 1 See you over there, suckers.

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Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.

Speaker 1 Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides. Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.
Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs. It's our queen, it's queen Laifa.
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.

Speaker 1 Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.
She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo.

Speaker 1 She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manock. We love him madly.
It's Kyle Pod Shadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.
G, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron.

Speaker 1 She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.
The incredible, edible, Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.
Rose.

Speaker 1 There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska.
She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Speaker 1 Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop.
It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tem La Plain.
We're obsessed all with Tessa V.

Speaker 1 She ain't no shrinking violet couchar.

Speaker 1 We love you guys.

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