#3071 Below Deck Med S10E07 Part One: The Blah-chelor

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to what crappens. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben Jamina over there.
Hello, Ben. How you doing?

Speaker 2 I'm doing great. Thank you, Ronnie.
How are you doing? And hello.

Speaker 1 Good. You look very handsome.
I enjoy your prepping

Speaker 1 shirt.

Speaker 2 Thank you. It's my little unique low

Speaker 1 shirt.

Speaker 1 oh it looks very handsome well welcome to the show everybody today is below deck day very exciting times here in the craps universe it's also bravocon week so we're gonna go that should be fun getting our fits together

Speaker 1 and um we are having a meetup in las vegas for crap and listeners it is free um so come to it if you're gonna be in vegas we'd love to meet you okay because that's what a meetup is we all meet we

Speaker 2 talk about our dreams and ambitions can i say something i think we can officially upgrade it to party. It's not a meetup anymore.
It's now a party.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's a party. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
It's a Krappens party. Jenny's.
Did I say Amy's? I'm so sorry. I said Amy's party.

Speaker 1 It's because I'm from Austin and that's always Jenny and Amy, I feel like, are two just, you know, girls fighting on the, on the playground. Like, he's going to eat my ice cream.

Speaker 1 He's going to eat mine. Love you both.
And so excited to be because, you know, that's Ben's dream.

Speaker 1 And it's become my dream as time has gone on because Ben introduced me to Jenny's and then Jenny's introduced me to Jenny's and now I love Jenny's. Jenny's the only relationship where I'll swallow.

Speaker 1 Love

Speaker 1 their ice cream.

Speaker 2 Is that a proof messaging?

Speaker 1 You will be getting free ice cream over there. So come.
There will also be booths. That's not free.
You have to pay for that, but it's free to come. So come.

Speaker 1 It's going to be at a place called Beer Park. It's in the Paris Hotel and Casino.
So it's right there on the strip by Pravocon and the hotels and all that good stuff. So we hope you come.

Speaker 1 It's at 10 p.m. on Saturday night.
We're going to be partying. So bring your party shoes.

Speaker 1 Also, Amazon Live was a disaster yesterday because the app broke. So we didn't ditch you on purpose.
We will be finding a way to make up for that soon.

Speaker 1 We don't know when, but very soon we'll be doing that. And what else do we have to say? If you want videos of these recaps, they're all on video now.
Go over to Crappins on Demand on Patreon.

Speaker 1 And that's also where you get bonus episodes this week. We are doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills trailer.

Speaker 1 And that's it for the announcements let's get do you have anything to add my little sugar plum

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 i just want to say i'm really excited for jenny's i just want there's you know there's not a single jenny's ice cream shop in all of las vegas so if you want ice jenny's ice cream on saturday night we're going to be the first jenny's shop we are introducing jenny's to las vegas baby

Speaker 1 It's kind of weird though. It's like a 10 o'clock party where we're going to be like, yeah, let's make some, let's make custom drinks and get ice cream.
Cause that's how we roll.

Speaker 2 I mean, you know, that's exactly how I roll. That's what I'm doing at any 10 o'clock.
I'm like, I want one of those two things, if not both together.

Speaker 2 But no, just to clarify, Jenny says providing some ice cream for everyone, and it's gonna be a super fun time.

Speaker 1 Um, but yeah, I'm gonna be getting lit.

Speaker 2 Uh, so anywho, yeah,

Speaker 1 all right, let's get to it. We are here with Below Dick Mediterranean, um,

Speaker 1 which is fun, you know, what a fun show. What a great show, guys.
This one is season 10, episodes 7. It's called Le Vienne Bros.
Le Vienne Bros.

Speaker 1 Which I think means Max is jealous because his parents got divorced. I don't know.
I don't really understand his thing. Or his parents didn't like him.
So he's sad because

Speaker 1 bros are broing without him. Yeah.
I didn't really understand, but it was fun to watch Max cry.

Speaker 2 It makes more sense when you realize that Nathan is his dad and you're like, oh, that's why it hurts so much. He's getting rejected all over again.

Speaker 2 A lot of French men with daddy issues on Below Deck these days. This is like the second season in a row.
It's like we had Anthony last season being like, oh, my daddy, this is for your daddy.

Speaker 2 And now we have Max being like, oh, I do not speak to my daddy. So I was hoping to get daddy love from Nathan.

Speaker 1 So, well, yeah, but Max, the other dad was passed away, right? So he, that was

Speaker 2 the issue. It's still like a dad.

Speaker 1 Daddy issues. His dad died.

Speaker 2 A lot of discussion about odds. No, let's not bury the lead, though.
This episode, yes, Max was, you know, feeling like, you know,

Speaker 2 he's, it's an A and B conversation, so he needs to see his way out of it.

Speaker 2 But the real story with this episode is that Bravo decided to experiment with blending a dating show with Below Deck by having this guy on there and bringing on like six or seven ladies to see who would be his

Speaker 2 forever love and by forever i mean for the next like weekend or something like that so it's like it became like a dating show and i have to say they promoted this it was in the trailer they you know they really pushed this and i was like oh my god this is ridiculous i actually loved it i loved it you know what because it was like very small it was like on the side and like so much of it was about the crew making comments about what they were seeing and i just i kind of loved like have having a focus on an audience reacting to a dating show essentially yeah um it was it human trafficking i mean what would you call this

Speaker 1 this was straight up human trafficking right i mean i'm not really sure but when she said the ladies are all from her service i was like oh that's fishy

Speaker 2 that that's not a great way to to put it she should say they're all clients of mine looking for love but not be like they're from my service

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then the guy, The Bachelor. I mean, look, I'm used to the bachelor.
I used to recap the bachelor,

Speaker 1 but, you know, that guy is generally hot and has something going for him.

Speaker 1 Like, he's either an ex-football player or an oil magnate, or I don't know, they've been getting worse because then there was like Peter the pilot. And I was like,

Speaker 1 I think you're maybe a Spirit Airlines pilot part-time. Like, I didn't really believe it.
You know, they get lower. They're like, oh, it's an accountant.
Who's this guy? What's he do?

Speaker 1 He's got a baseball glove for a face. The man is severely sun damaged and bald and not very nice.
So I'm not really sure why anybody would be fighting for him. I'm saying,

Speaker 1 hose.

Speaker 1 I'm saying this was a boat of hose.

Speaker 1 That's the only way I can

Speaker 1 get it right in my head because no normal person is going to do this.

Speaker 1 Hose aren't normal. I just mean no, no person who's not getting paid is going to be trying to date that baseball glove on purpose.
I know.

Speaker 2 He was kind of like a low-rent Temu version of Chip from Chip and Joanna.

Speaker 2 And Chip is already cool, but Temu temu version of himself he does have chip vibes yeah he just here and like chip is there there's no like high-end version of chip chip is already entering the comparison at the temu level so then when you add this like temu version of a temu thing

Speaker 2 yeah i don't i don't understand why people are clamoring for this guy i mean in some ways that awful girl you know i i kind of I kind of bonded with her in a sense when she was like, I'm just in it for the yacht.

Speaker 2 But then she was actually so terrible that i couldn't i had to she's vile i was like make her the new stew make her the new stew why isn't anna the new stew that's who we need she's also a pathological liar right like you definitely got the sense that she was high on something and she just lies all day long because every every story was like well forgive me for living

Speaker 2 she she's like a not like you know when you ask like a nine-year-old to like oh how was your day today it was good um

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 I saw a really famous person and they asked me to come like hang hang out with them, but I didn't go because mom said I had to be home. You're like, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2 Like all her stories sort of had that kind of arc to it. Like, yeah, one time I like flew to Cannes for like one day and I took a picture and then I left.
Yeah, it was so fun.

Speaker 1 I was like, you are a liar.

Speaker 1 You got let out of your crate that they have you in on the human trafficking boat for some air. in con and then you were put back in to be delivered to whatever baseball globe you had to date next.

Speaker 1 Do not tell me that woman is not a traveling traveling saleswoman. That's that's

Speaker 1 um by the way, I can't stop thinking about chip from chip and joanna. I'm still convinced that that guy is emotionally abusive.

Speaker 1 I think he has anger issues and I think he probably like squeezes Joanna's arm too hard and confessional. Like there's something creepy about that guy.

Speaker 1 I don't trust anybody who smiles like that constantly and is like constantly like

Speaker 1 making the husband jokes. Something's wrong with Chip.
Mark my words. Something's going to come out about that guy at some point that he was just awful this whole time.

Speaker 2 Oh, he's terrible. he's just the worst.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's why Joanna always looks so miserable, you know.

Speaker 2 Always, always, yeah, but fuck chip.

Speaker 1 Okay, so anyway, yeah, Anna, too, she's a liar, but I liked her, you know. But of course, you know, I like all the terrible people in this show, they make it more interesting for me.
So, let's start.

Speaker 1 It's 7:30 a.m., everybody's getting up. Josh is mixing something in a KitchenAid and explodes all over the place.

Speaker 1 So, he grabs it by the head and shoves it down into the hot plate, tells it to get the fuck over, get with it.

Speaker 1 He gets a chip attitude, yeah

Speaker 2 and um

Speaker 2 kizzy her big thing is that she just broke up with tommy on the phone so now she is you know what hold on hold on everyone let's also talk about kizzy i feel like kizzy is just you know she's she is a toxic this is a this is i'm not gonna say she's a toxic

Speaker 2 person, a toxic girl, a toxic co-worker. I'm just calling her a toxic because she's just a toxic.
And we saw it from the beginning when she was planting seeds to get like V sent out to the deck crew.

Speaker 2 We saw shadows of that one girl that was on below deck sailing. I always forget her name, but she stuffed her face full of pasta.
But Kizzy, she's not as like outwardly nasty as Ashley.

Speaker 2 That was her name. But I thought

Speaker 2 that like this week when she

Speaker 2 that girl had like a full-on tear in her skirt and she just let it go. So that way the girl could be humiliated or would somehow like, it would cause her demise.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, you're a vile person inside, inside and out. Like you are terrible.
I, I'm like, I can't, like, I was like, I can't.

Speaker 1 Did she let her do it? I mean, did she see it? Did we see her see it? Yeah. And she was

Speaker 1 just going to ignore it.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She said, I probably should say something.
And she, then she like laughs.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you are so nasty.

Speaker 2 nasty and you're trying to be like cutesy but you are nasty

Speaker 1 oh

Speaker 1 yeah i mean she keeps talking like she's so evil like she's here to be the villain you know she's like i'm gonna go on this tv show and i'm gonna be the villain it's gonna be wonderful but she's not really doing anything i mean she says in her confessionals that she's a villain and she's like yeah i'm gonna steal that guy i'm gonna steal that guy i'm fucking everybody on this boat and i don't care i'm gonna be number one no matter what but then she's very nice to everybody so i'm so confused like her villainy is confusing and is actually pissing me off because i feel like she's catfishing me in the villainy department you know

Speaker 2 well that's why something is she's not giving it to me yeah well that's why i say she's like nicer she presents she's not as bad as ashley because she does she doesn't seem as bad as ashley was that one season But I just feel like I've got my eye on you because I like I see how you're undermining people.

Speaker 2 In this episode, at one point, she tells the new girl, like, oh, you know, V, she really likes Joe. She's very much like, he's mine.

Speaker 2 And like, V never did that, but she's painting a picture of V as being this possessive person that you have to be careful of. Like, she pits people against each other in subtle ways.

Speaker 2 And I don't approve. And the producers are including all those little tidbits because they want us to see it.
I mean, or they want to make a narrative, but they want us to see it primarily.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying she's on my radar and I don't appreciate it. I don't appreciate her, the way she's moving.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
Well, I just don't appreciate that she's not evil enough. I need more.
Okay. So that's, but we both have problems.

Speaker 1 You're not getting a good Yelp review from either one of us, Kiz. So get with it.
So Kizzy is like, oh, God, I did call Tom last night. What did he say?

Speaker 1 I was like, how do you feel about me kissing other people?

Speaker 1 And, you know, she's like, yeah, I feel guilty because he was like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 But Aisha doesn't care. I mean, this is about,

Speaker 1 you were dating for a month. Stop it.

Speaker 2 Aisha literally doesn't care.

Speaker 2 So Kizzy tells us i can write people off quite easily like i can break up with people i've been in a two-year relationship with and be like oh hmm oh okay who's next i'm like are you still the same person who says my greatest hobby in the world is love i love love if i couldn't have love i would want to replace it with i don't know more love i just can't live without it and then you're like oh god yeah i just like kick people to the curb and on to the next one like which one is it like you have to like like at what point you have to like settle in on a character yeah I don't think she's decided who she is yet.

Speaker 1 You know, she's just young. I think she thinks it's fun to be like, look at me.
I'm sex loving and I have so many partners.

Speaker 2 La la la la la.

Speaker 1 But ultimately, I don't think she lives like that probably because she seems confused by it. You know,

Speaker 1 she seems confused by the lifestyle. And now she's like, oh, Tony, what am I going to do? Oh, yeah, I get over people in two seconds, whatever.
I don't know. I'm just not really buying it.

Speaker 1 I think she probably cries a lot. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So we get snips of everybody getting ready for the charter. Josh is cooking.
People are mopping. Kizzy's doing laundry.

Speaker 1 Aisha, Josh, and V are in the kitchen together. And V comes to visit.
And they're talking about Joe. Did you make your mind up about Joe?

Speaker 1 Joe and V sitting in a tree. If you see K finger in the bottle,

Speaker 2 Why does V have to make her mind up about Joe, by the way? It's not, it's like,

Speaker 2 what is the deadline? It must be just like a production thing. Like, okay, by the end of this episode, we need to know where you're standing with him because we need to build the rest of the season.

Speaker 2 So she's like, yeah, I dig him. And that was like the last thing V says all episode because she was just like relegated to the sidelines.
Like, okay, well, your storyline's kind of wrapped up.

Speaker 2 You made it to the outside and now we just want to focus on Kizzy. So V's like, I mean, I'm not trying to do anything serious, but like his attention seemed more like just like a regular boat fling.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So I'm sure I won't get hurt or anything by, you know, opening my heart to this guy.

Speaker 2 And I'm just going to listen, I'm just going to trust that when he says things that I have a beautiful soul and that he sees me as different from the other girls, that he actually really means it.

Speaker 2 And we can build something real on that. It should probably work out okay for us.

Speaker 1 So now Kizzy is planting some little jealousy seeds with Joe. And he sang last night was so fun.
And she's like, what was? You necking V.

Speaker 1 He's like, necking? Me? Necking. She's like, well, I don't know.
You were doing little kissy noises. What was that?

Speaker 2 Because you're whispering.

Speaker 1 You're whispering. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And the nose got in the way because of me big nose.

Speaker 1 That's what happened.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 then back in the galley, V is just saying that, like, oh, yeah, Joe, he said that. He said, I'm really scared of you.
Like, I'm like, why are you scared of me? He's like, so mysterious.

Speaker 1 I think I really like him. This could be real.
This could be real between me and you. I'm so scared.
I'm so scared of how you make me feel. Shut up, Joe.

Speaker 1 That's why he was saying he's scared.

Speaker 1 So Aisha's like, well, I just don't want you to get hurt. She's like, yeah, I'm not going to get hurt.
I'm not going to. You are going to get hurt.

Speaker 1 Joe. He's a fuckboy.
He's a fuckboy with a receding hairline. He's in a rush to get as much as he can before it starts to fall off.

Speaker 1 So Aisha's like, it looks like V and Kizi are both interested in Joe, and I'm worried that last season could play out all over again.

Speaker 2 And then we see Ellie and Brie, with Ellie being like, you have violated girl code.

Speaker 1 And Brie being like, but I don't know about girl code because I lost it in the laundry room.

Speaker 1 I had girl code here, but then I lost it because I tried to iron it with a curling iron and it got so curly I couldn't recognize it anymore.

Speaker 1 Indubitably!

Speaker 2 What was the word that you would always say?

Speaker 1 I was going to ask you.

Speaker 2 It wasn't indubitably.

Speaker 1 Is she doing what she is supposed to be doing?

Speaker 2 That for?

Speaker 1 It was something like like that, but I don't remember the word

Speaker 2 once. Once the season is done, it's like all the jokes get like locked away and sent off to like Luxembourg or something.

Speaker 1 I don't know. And the BBR has been erased to make space for a million more below decks.

Speaker 1 Oh, so Aisha's like, yeah, Joe's a sweet guy, but he's usually just faking the shit.

Speaker 1 None of this is real. You know, she knows his game.
So then we go to Joe with Kizzy, and he's like, I feel cheeky. I feel cheeky now.
She's like, hee, hee hee, hee.

Speaker 1 So now we see more cleaning and stuff like that. And

Speaker 1 the deck team are talking about doing the flats and the stainless, you know. And V's like to be out there not doing any more laundry.

Speaker 1 She's like, yeah, I just want to kill it and prove that I'm an asset to the deck team. Oh, yeah, look at my muscles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, man.

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Speaker 2 Guess what? There's a text. Bloop.
Oh God, it's Norma. Wait a second.
This isn't Norma.

Speaker 1 This is...

Speaker 2 This is someone named Kathy. Oh my God, my dream came true.
Kathy came alive. Oh God, someone get the chocolate.
She's going to want it. Eck.

Speaker 1 Oh, gosh. All right.
Norma, bloop. Norma, could you get us a water cooler? Because Kathy's coming on board.
She loves a good water cooler. Bloop.

Speaker 2 Bloop. Aisha.
Okay, question. Do we have any business suits? Because there might be a meeting.
Kathy's not going to be comfortable unless she's in a business business suit.

Speaker 1 Get that chocolate ready for her.

Speaker 1 Bloop. Hey, Norma, me, Sandy, again.
Hey, speaking of water coolers, could we get a Norma cooler? Because you need to be cooler.

Speaker 1 Bleep.

Speaker 1 Bloop.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey, Captain Sandy, it's Norma here. I am not going to get a water cooler, but what I can get you is

Speaker 2 a glass of water to throw in your face because you're being such a bitch today. I'm not in the mood.

Speaker 1 Bloop.

Speaker 1 Bloop. Yeah, you know what? I'm having trouble on the boat here.
I might need some new staffing because I think someone's on here because her name sounds like Koozie. So bloop.

Speaker 2 You know, for a moment, I thought you already had a staff. I seen a staff infection.
That's what your face looks like. Bloop.

Speaker 1 Bloop. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, please take up your nose hair.
Okay, you're black in the hallway. Bloop.

Speaker 2 Well, let me tell you something. If I ever drop my Rapunzel hair down the tower, please don't climb it because I want to keep my head attached to my neck.
What I'm saying is, you're overweight. Bloop.

Speaker 1 Okay, you know what? You're coming for the Kinkles now. I'm done with you.
Bloop.

Speaker 1 My bitch. Bloop.
Love you, bitch.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 now we see Nathan and what's his buns, Joe, and they're just being wacky. They're like doing like jigs and dancing around and doing like the river dance thing.

Speaker 1 And then they're sliding wooden belly, or they're sliding belly first across the wooden bar thing because of wooden belly.

Speaker 2 I wish.

Speaker 1 It's my dream.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's very like slip and slide, except it's not a slip and slide. It's a bar.
It's like a bar top or something.

Speaker 2 And so they're having fun and Max is just watching and he's like, oh no, that was my Nathan. He he was my brother of arms now i'm forever alone

Speaker 1 so poor max guillotine guillotine

Speaker 1 yeah max is starting to feel very very lonely and you see don't you miss having someone to yell at and feel better than you should have kept that other guy around max this is what you get yep see now you're just like the leftover but um you know he's taking okay

Speaker 2 he's just like well that is life okay

Speaker 2 um so he's the he's yeah he's the third wheel um that's

Speaker 2 needs to be chamoised. So, meanwhile, uh, the Kathy is coming.
Kathy, the news do is coming, and everyone's getting excited.

Speaker 2 And Kizzy's talking to Josh, and she's like, are you excited for the news to Josh? He's like, oh, I forgot about that, to be honest, because you're my favorite stewardess.

Speaker 2 I just want to put a bunch of face paint on you and cram you into a car.

Speaker 1 I hope she's a lesbian. She's a Kathy, okay? That's what she is.
She's neither lesbian nor straight lady. She's a Kathy.
She's a lady who's going to be by the water cooler complaining about stuff.

Speaker 1 She's going to have stringy hair and crazy kind of squinty eyes. She's Kathy.
That's all she needs to be.

Speaker 1 Do you know young people named Kathy, by the way? It's like an old name, right?

Speaker 2 I mean, I have a friend named Kathy. Well, this is, by the way, Kathy with the Sea, which is important because that really speaks to the comic.
But I do have a friend who's Kathy with the Sea

Speaker 2 and she's wonderful.

Speaker 2 But I agree, we don't really see too many Kathys anymore. We see Kate.
We get a lot of Kate, but we don't get Kathy, which actually made me really excited when they said her name was Kathy.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, God, I love her. I was like, yes, Icon, Kathy.
And she's pretty and

Speaker 2 she's like really on top of details.

Speaker 1 I'm like, yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So she arrives and we just see her from behind.
It's like,

Speaker 1 she looks very sexy. She's wearing a tennis skirt, a little blazer, and her hair is all done.
She's wearing a hat and she looks very pretty.

Speaker 1 We don't know yet, but she looks very dressed to be cleaning a boat, like very well dressed.

Speaker 2 She is. She has

Speaker 2 really the little hat was what was really doing it.

Speaker 2 It kind of like had an it wasn't a beret, but it sort of reminded me of like Emily and Paris, the way like Emily and Paris shows up, like, I'm here to take over this city.

Speaker 2 And she sort of has that vibe coming out of the boat, but like British sounding.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Or is it Australian?

Speaker 2 Is she British or Australian?

Speaker 1 I think British, right? I think so.

Speaker 1 So Kathy comes, and the boys just start falling out of the boat. They're like, oh,

Speaker 1 Kathy, hello, hello, hello,

Speaker 1 hello.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I'm a hugger. So give me a hug.
So they all hug her. And Joe's like, she reminds me of young Mary Poppins.
She's

Speaker 1 a spoonful of sugar.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he is like, he is.

Speaker 2 He is very excited to see Kathy. They're all like, you know,

Speaker 1 people want to fuck Mary Poppins. I don't remember.
I was very young when that came out. I mean, I've seen it older.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 She didn't give me like big, like, let's fuck vibes, Mary Poppins, right?

Speaker 2 You know, I've never seen Mary Poppins.

Speaker 1 You've never seen Mary Poppins? What kind of homosexual are you?

Speaker 2 I just, I don't know. I just haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 How do you even know anything about the suffrage movement?

Speaker 2 I just know that there's umbrellas and I know there's that crazy song.

Speaker 2 Well, I know the super cali fragilistic Espialadocious

Speaker 1 and chimney sweeping.

Speaker 2 Chimney sweeping. There's that chimney sweep song, right?

Speaker 1 It's like, what's it?

Speaker 2 How's it go?

Speaker 1 It's like,

Speaker 1 oh, no, that's go fly a kite. Go, go, fly a kite.
Something over the something flight. Beauty, duty.
It's kind of boring, honestly. Mary Poppins.
Yeah. I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 Maybe it wasn't really for gay people. I don't think that's like a huge gay college movie, Mary Poppins.
It's like a bunch of kids getting taken care of. Trying, I'm sad.
My dad doesn't love me.

Speaker 1 And she's like, well, I don't either, but I'll teach you how to clean things. And I'm like, oh my God, I love her.
And then penguins dance around on a Ferris wheel or some shit. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Dick Van Dyke's very dirty in it. Oh, yeah.
Because he's a chimney sweeper.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 So I didn't like it.

Speaker 2 I was like, that dirty guy's gross.

Speaker 1 We're really talking to him.

Speaker 2 Honestly, it should never have been made in the first place. It's witchcraft.
Like, I don't know why we're teaching our children.

Speaker 2 Like, I can fly with an umbrella. Like, that's like unrealistic expectation.
This is why children, this is why people

Speaker 2 don't know how to work anymore. This is why they don't have any work ethic because they just expect they can open up an umbrella and just fly off to Madagascar.
Well, you can't, okay? Get to work.

Speaker 1 And it also really hurt the maid industry because like the maid slash nanny industry. Cause I feel like every time there's someone working at your house, every kid's like, can you do any tricks?

Speaker 1 Like, no, like, fuck, you fucking lame maid. Kind of nanny are you? Can't fly.
Can't make things fly through the air.

Speaker 2 You suck.

Speaker 2 If you got time to lean on your umbrella, you got time to clean. Am I right?

Speaker 1 So, yeah, she's a hugger. So she comes in and hugs people.
And then

Speaker 1 she is like, oh, I'm a princess. You know that, right?

Speaker 1 And Aisha and Kizzy are just watching her. And Kizzy's like, oh, my God, she's gorgeous.
Fuck.

Speaker 1 My parents really

Speaker 1 hottest girl on the interior.

Speaker 2 Well, and see, just like Max, you got to be careful what you wish for because if you think that the producers aren't going to fuck with you, you're absolutely wrong.

Speaker 2 So now she's, Kizzy was so ready to be like the reigning hot girl. Now that she's, she's like, I'm finally single.
I'm ready to be the number one. I will be the supreme.
And then they bring in Kathy.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 Max like, oh, hello. I'm sorry.
I was watching your eyes. What is your name again? She's like, Kathy.
Oh, Kathy. I'm Max.
It's like, oh, I'm glad because I didn't remember your name either.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Oh, mother's love deprived from Kathy.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, this is because you were looking at my eyes too. I'm just like, no.

Speaker 1 Hello. And

Speaker 1 so they meet. And then Max is in the galley with Kizzy and Josh.
And Max is like, oh, I'm sorry, Kizzy. I'm sorry, baby.
I don't cheat on you. Okay.

Speaker 1 She's like, you better not cheat on me because I'll just hit my finger really hard. It's like, all right, give me your

Speaker 1 finger. Kissy, kissy.

Speaker 2 So Kizzy now meets her competition, Kathy. Kizzy and Kathy, she's like, How you doing? She's like, I'm really well.
I've been over in America for this season. Disgusting, I know.
Awful.

Speaker 2 Do I look tackier now? It's my biggest concern. Well, I'm a chief stew on another yacht.
And what about you? Are you the 16th stew? Looks like, by the way, you're washing that surface there.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh my god, so is this on your rotation? She's like, oh, well, I'm off. I'm off time now.
I just get bored. I just have to work.

Speaker 1 You know, some days I wake up and I think I could sleep late. And then I think, no, I could take another step towards perfection.

Speaker 2 And that's always what I choose.

Speaker 1 Welcome. I'm Kathy.
I'm here to ruin your goddamn life. Everything I pass sparkles.

Speaker 1 I like that every time she passed a room, she would like reorganize thing and then they would like have the cartoon sparkle over it.

Speaker 2 I love that she's here.

Speaker 2 Kathy's like, well, normally I'm a chief stew, but I'm going to slum it here.

Speaker 2 It's sort of like, you know, when Charlize Theron put on that ugly face and didn't put makeup on and won an Oscar, that's kind of what I'm doing here. But Stew version, you know?

Speaker 2 What I'm trying to say is, you're part of my slumming it experience. Okay, Toodles.

Speaker 1 I'm going for the golden chamois.

Speaker 1 Will it wonder?

Speaker 2 Well, I thought I could do the Nicole Kidner version, put on a fake nose, or I could do the Charlize Theron version and put on fake teeth.

Speaker 2 I said, you know what, I'll just be beautiful, but I'll do it in the laundry room instead. And I think that should work out.

Speaker 1 I will limp, though, while I do laundry get a little daniel day in there just in case just in case

Speaker 1 how my right foot should i learn how oh my right foot it's the wrong foot sorry should i learn how to twerk that might work well based on how anora did upsetting demi so i'm not sure anora

Speaker 1 Oh, it's funny that you say that because I was thinking as they make her pass everything and it starts sparkling, they should have Cassie or Kizzy passing everything and and just watch it kind of wither away.

Speaker 1 You know, she's like Demi in the, um, in that movie that she lost substance. Or was it the substance? Yeah.
She's like, oh, here I go. It's finally my chance.
I finally got the substance.

Speaker 1 And then Kathy comes in and she's like, oh, God, why can't I walk straight? Why is my skin falling?

Speaker 1 Just lost a finger.

Speaker 2 Let's be honest, Kathy was birthed out of Kizzy's back. Now we all know what happened.

Speaker 1 They're like, Kathy, aren't you too young to have the substance? They've given Kizzy some kind of a pill that she actually has to stay awake and watch what the other one's doing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like a faulty substance. It's like a cruel substance.

Speaker 2 I definitely could see Kizzy doing that scene in the middle of the substance where Demi Moore like tries to put makeup on before a date and then she can't redoing it over and over and over again until she looks like demented.

Speaker 2 That is definitely in Kizzy's future. And I'll give it like, you know, 30 years.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we see Nathan showing V stuff

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 then we go to Kathy and the camera's focused on her butt because it's below deck. They're perfs.
And so Aisha is called to the bridge and she brings Kathy. Okay.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, Max is like, which one is your favorite, Joe? And he's like, fix Horia, but she wouldn't want a man like me anyway because I'm not after a relationship. I'm like, wow, here you go.

Speaker 1 Already dumping V the second.

Speaker 1 Yes. You have a chance to jump to something else.
God.

Speaker 2 And also laying the groundwork to say, this is going too fast.

Speaker 2 it's it's too fast and like oh she's so committed she's so into me and i just don't want anything that serious i'm gonna have to dump her i'm gonna have to dumper she's cray cray oh my god look at these crazy women can't control their emotions yeah

Speaker 2 can they like not act like they're picking out a toyota camry like so which one's your favorite i like the one with the anti-lock brakes oh but i like the one with the sunroof The glove compartment's a bit rattly on that one, bro.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure about it.

Speaker 1 But I forgot what I was going to say, but yeah, these guys are gross.

Speaker 1 Oh, I think he's already, he's already working up to use the defense of like, but I'm sorry, your boyfriend's dead, but it's not my fault. And you can't treat me like him.
I'm not him. Get off of me.

Speaker 1 You know, like trying to make her, he's going to try and make her look crazy, like she's trying to transfer the dead boyfriend onto him, you know?

Speaker 2 And he's also like a little bit doing the Madonna and the whore thing. You know, that concept where someone is like,

Speaker 2 so is it Madonna in the whores, like the Virgin and Madonna?

Speaker 2 or I don't know what it is but like one person is like actually too special so you actually don't do anything with them but then like you go to like the whore and the whore is the one that you'll actually like get all sexual with because they're the whore you know what I'm saying so he's I feel like the more he talks says like oh V

Speaker 2 you know, she's deep, she has a soul, she's been through things, the more he's actually sort of putting her in a box of like, well, I can't touch her.

Speaker 2 So he's going to lead her on, but he's not going to do anything with her because she's actually too sacred. But then he'll like slum it up with Kizzy or whoever.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking psychological with her. It's just something new came in and he knows all the guys want her.
So he wants to win.

Speaker 1 That's what I think.

Speaker 2 It's called the Madonna horror complex. I just want to say the Madonna horror complex.

Speaker 1 Of course, my mother would call it. The Madonna-Madonna complex.

Speaker 1 I remember one time we were in a, in a department store or something when I was a little kid and like a virgin came on and my mom was like covering my ears through the store.

Speaker 1 She's like, do not listen to it. Do not listen to it.
That is just sin. She's like, why are you playing sin in the stores? Is this a family-friendly store?

Speaker 1 Because you are playing a prostitute's music right now.

Speaker 2 My dad has been dealing with 40 years of an eternal question saying, she doesn't even have a voice.

Speaker 2 Why is she on the radio? She doesn't even have a voice. She's not hitting the notes.
That's my dad. Every time a Madonna comes on.

Speaker 1 Well, it was before auto-tune. Give her a break.

Speaker 1 I mean, he didn't have a terrible point, honestly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Captain Sandy's like, okay, well, you know, look, hey, Kathy, got a water cooler for you.

Speaker 1 Can't wait to hear you, to hear what you think about 9 to 5 life. Am I right? Anybody inviting Kathy to their birthday party? Didn't think so.
Kathy, this is going to be fun.

Speaker 1 It's going to be like having a Norma here on the boat. Okay.

Speaker 1 So excited for you. So anyway asha's a great leader okay and i've been looking at your cv you were a chief suit what do you think about that asia little competition there

Speaker 1 oh i'm just so happy chiefs too have you been one

Speaker 1 and she's like oh my god

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 2 yes and then her mouth just hangs open for like 10 minutes So Captain Tinda goes, well, okay, so Kathy, we'll begin charter today. Do you have anything to say? But I can't believe this.

Speaker 2 Can't any man in your age bracket fix anything? Is your generation letting the fine art of fixing things just die? God, I love.

Speaker 2 I love when you just speak the truth, Kathy. It's just so fun.
Like, you really just nail it.

Speaker 1 So, meanwhile, we go back to the other people, Josh and Kizzy, and Kizzy's like, I mean, she's a fucking chief steward. I feel like my life's about to turn into a living hell.

Speaker 1 I mean, she won't want to be in laundry. And he's like, well, at the end of the day, she signed up for this.
And if she doesn't want to fucking do it, there's the door, right?

Speaker 2 We'll remember that, Josh, next time you complain about some, about cooking something for someone. Next time you complain about cooking up some Sechuan chicken at 2 a.m.

Speaker 2 I don't know why I'm coming for Josh. He's right.
So then now it's time for a preference sheet meeting. Okay, okay.
Preference sheet. Okay.

Speaker 2 God, I really want to be on the Kathy side of this, but I got to stick with the deck crew because it's closer to wind. Okay, so this is a cool charter, everyone.
We've never done anyone like this.

Speaker 2 It's our first time we're doing a charter with a lady who works a nine-to-five job. Okay, Kathy, come on, pick it up.
Tell us what's going on in your work, please.

Speaker 1 Kathy, tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, you know, as I always say, three bagels, two balls of fudge ripple ice cream, 17 Oreos, and a Twinkie.
So what?

Speaker 1 It's not like he'll ever call me again anyway. Haramph.

Speaker 1 All right. So true.
This is

Speaker 1 Kathy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, she's really, she's really teaching me.

Speaker 2 She's really teaching. She knows things.
She's been out in the world, you know.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, this primary, he's enlisted as Joe. He's the CEO and founder of a wealth management company.
And he's enlisted as personal matchmaker, Amy.

Speaker 1 Amy is well in her field, and she really doesn't like other people, but she tries real hard for the cameras to put on a smile every now and then. So please enjoy that when she does that.

Speaker 1 But this is the first time she has ever hosted a sinkers event for client while they're chartering a yacht

Speaker 1 there were six eligible women to join him on this trip with the hopes of finding love

Speaker 1 oh

Speaker 2 oh kathy do you have something to add to that it looks like you're raising your hand yes i'd like to say something My friends all hurry home from work to be with their husbands and they plan every day around

Speaker 2 spending time with their children. It just makes me feel like it's time to make some big changes on my own, mom.
And I think I'm finally ready to make a real commitment.

Speaker 2 And I remember my mom said, oh, sweetie, does that mean you're you're you're young? And I said, I'm going to get a dog, mom.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So now the question is, who's he gonna choose out of all these beautiful women?

Speaker 1 Well, the primary single Joe is coming on with six birds, but I'm the bad guy for only wanting two, you know? Damn. And then we see a split screen of Kizzy and V.

Speaker 1 They didn't add, they didn't add Kathy yet. Well, she said there's Kathy.

Speaker 1 Why would they? They never had me, do they?

Speaker 1 So back to Interior. Kizzy is reading hers.
Night two, all the women that are still on the yacht will have dinner together with Joe.

Speaker 1 And then after the final breakfast, if Joe's made a lasting connection, then he may leave the yacht with his new bought and paid for girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 2 Who's he gonna pick? So that's gonna be the whole thing. It's basically just like a mini bachelor happening on this boat and there's with eliminations and all.

Speaker 2 So basically, first they're going to pick up Joe and Amy, and then they're going to go bring in the girls a little bit later. So now it's time to get clean.

Speaker 2 And Kathy's walking around like the crew mess. She's like, hmm, I don't know.
This is really driving me crazy. And she goes, just, she just starts cleaning everything like crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just messy. Like in her eyes, she's a perfectionist.
And so she is even organizing the pillow at the crew table, which is, is something. She's like, this is too much for me.

Speaker 1 I just can't do it, you know?

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Ack. Can I just say ack?

Speaker 2 I think about how much I love my own time. I love getting to do whatever I want.
Me, Kathy. Thank you.
That was one of my greatest quotes.

Speaker 1 So now everybody's working. Kathy's removing provisions from bins with rubber gloves on.
Okay, so she's very careful. And this might also means that she's committed crimes before.

Speaker 1 And then the guests arrive. And Aisha loves what Kathy is doing.
She's like, oh my God, the crew mess looks amazing, Kathy.

Speaker 1 And Kathy's like, oh, by the way, Kizzy, the roles you did for the towels are wonderful. Just wonderful.
I'm so excited to know I'm working with such a knowledgeable human being.

Speaker 1 She's like, Aisha did it. He goes, oh, of course.
Okay. I'll find you something to compliment you about soon.

Speaker 1 Look at you. Look at you getting Joe's attention.
What a handsome man. Congratulations.
You're gorgeous and you deserve it. That's actually

Speaker 1 V. Oh.
All right. Well, I'll keep trying.
I'll find something soon. Hmm.

Speaker 2 The way that you piled all those rags on the floor in the shape of an amoeba instead of putting them in their own separate bin. Not my choice of how it operates, but I love your autistry.

Speaker 2 I respect your voice.

Speaker 2 That one. Okay, that was me.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 I know, dear, dear, dear Kizzy. I know.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 now we see a wicked-themed commercial with Ariana Bierman and Meredith and Sutton and Giselle. It's a lot of people on a wicked.
It was a good commercial.

Speaker 2 It was, I feel like, Bravo's best commercial since

Speaker 2 the heydays of Summers by Bravo or whatever it was.

Speaker 1 I mean, not in my stating.

Speaker 1 Summer by Bravo things. They really need to bring this back.

Speaker 2 That was great brand building. Why would they stop? That was like the best.
That was the, when they would finally emerge, it was the best. But, you know, maybe we can relaunch that.

Speaker 2 Maybe we can get into some people's ears at BravoCon this weekend and be like, you know what, we really want to bring back? Princess Long Island? No, Summer by Bravo.

Speaker 1 That's what we want.

Speaker 1 So Amy is telling Bachelor Joe, Amy's like the assistant or the, no, not the assistant, the love, the love, the brothel owner. She's the brothel owner.

Speaker 1 And she's telling Bachelor Joe that she feels good and she's purchased a lot of amazing people to come on this boat.

Speaker 1 And he's just like, he has that like old confused look in his face, you know, just like, uh-huh. Yeah, I can't wait to meet women.
I hope to find someone worthy of me on this boat.

Speaker 1 Get out of here with your knockoff Tommy Bahama clothes and your nastiness, you're greasy,

Speaker 1 nasty, and chip face.

Speaker 2 This guy's he says at one point that he's 47. He is not 47.
You are not 47. I'm turning 47 in three weeks.
You are not 47.

Speaker 1 Your bald spot is 47.

Speaker 1 Inches. Oh.

Speaker 1 Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. That man is 60 if he's a day.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Commercials.

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Speaker 1 He's definitely in his 50s, which is fine, but you know, don't lie about it. And then also getting everybody in their like early 30s to date.

Speaker 2 It's just guys are just so fucking 23-year-old.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 To quote Fergie,

Speaker 2 to quote the great poet of our time, Fergie, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't lie.

Speaker 2 And then I did a cartwheel, everyone, people who are not watching, I just did a cartwheel.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 Kathy is cleaning and Kathy's like, I have a question, Kizzy.

Speaker 2 Captain Sandy, so she has, she gave me a bath mat. So

Speaker 2 what kind of towels does she have? And Kizzy's like,

Speaker 2 one of the grey ones. Okay, is it a huge grey one or the normal size grey one?

Speaker 2 Because obviously you've been working on this boat for, I guess, six episodes of this season, and you should know which size towel the captain of the boat has, right? So which one is it?

Speaker 2 Can you tell me? Kizzy's like.

Speaker 2 I think the normal size one.

Speaker 1 Okay, your lack of confidence shows me that you're as inept as I initially thought thank you carry on well you're certainly not an abacus are you i'm definitely not going to be counting on you all right thank you thank you for your time

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 i know dear i know

Speaker 2 does that mean i get to kiss abba

Speaker 1 yeah so now v and joe are talking about soccer And he's like, oh, I played soccer. And she's like, what position? He's like, oh,

Speaker 1 the forward ass face position. She's like, oh, my God, I paid forward ass face too.
Isn't that great? Like, feeling like you're just so in charge of everything.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm totally on equal footing as you as soccer. And he's like, I can't wait to dump this lady.
I'm jumping out. Look at her hanging all over me with a soccer bragging.

Speaker 1 God, she's so clingy. She wants to know everything about my childhood with soccer.

Speaker 2 And then we see like rival goofy photos of them in soccer. It's like, here's Joe

Speaker 2 looking awkward as a 12-year-old. And here's V looking awkward as a 12-year-old.
Who looks more awkward? And then it comes to Sandy, who's very serious all of a sudden.

Speaker 2 And she goes, finally, Nathan has an experienced deck team so he can do his job properly. His test as a boatswain starts now.

Speaker 1 Very relaxed.

Speaker 1 Okay, Sandy.

Speaker 1 And now it begins. The great test.
So then we go to Asha on the deck talking to Joe. And she's like, have you had a terrible relationship in the past, Bachelor Joe?

Speaker 1 He's like, oh yeah, you have several of them. Many of most of them.
God shit.

Speaker 1 Ladies, am I right? Can't live with them. Can't live without them.

Speaker 2 So then Asia is telling us about her worst date.

Speaker 1 She goes, the worst date I ever had was this guy that I was sleeping with. He ran me a bath and used dishwashing liquid instead of bubble bath.

Speaker 1 So I had to wake up the next morning and I'm covered head to toe in a

Speaker 1 rash. So I hope Bachelor Joe has a much better time on a first date on a super yacht in Spain.

Speaker 1 Poor sweet Alicia, I mean, Aisha, that that's her worst date.

Speaker 1 That's your worst date story. Someone put dishwashing soap in your bath.
I mean, seriously, you're too innocent for this world.

Speaker 2 Kathy just walks by and says, I know too much about life to have any optimism. Exclamation point.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you who my best date is. Myself.

Speaker 2 Shall I tell you about the Guiltometer?

Speaker 2 So for instance,

Speaker 2 imagine my mom is saying you who,

Speaker 2 and she has cake, and I just say ak.

Speaker 1 You're welcome.

Speaker 2 The Guiltometer.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 Bachelor Joe's like, yeah, you know, you get more particular as you get older, you know, like, about age especially. You wanted to be younger, you know? I don't really have any kids of mine.

Speaker 1 It would be nice to go. I mean, I do have some kids, but it would be nice to go to a high school play and be like, that's my girlfriend.
That right there. That's my girlfriend.

Speaker 1 She's like, well, I guess you get stuck in your ways, do you? It's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Don't worry.
You're not the only one with the com over. Nathan's right over there if you had a hundred bond with somebody

Speaker 2 this is like a Christmas carol for Nathan it's the ghost of Christmas futures

Speaker 1 Joe

Speaker 2 Nathan has a much better personality

Speaker 2 so um now we go back to laundry and Kizzy tells Kathy that she's like in the laundry doing stuff and Kathy's like oh question

Speaker 2 okay do you have a separate bag for the rags you know the dirty rags know those disgusting rags you use to clean up things you don't just throw them on the floor do you that's like i mean i was just in america america and that's something that americans would do but you're not from america so you wouldn't do that right she's like i actually do just throw them on the floor oh

Speaker 1 oh you do oh that's so adorable for you let's use bags we'll use bags yeah we'll use bags and um also do they just wash the rags with the regular clothes is that what she's saying

Speaker 1 because she's saying do you have separate bags for rags and stuff i thought She meant like, are you just throwing them in with the regular uniforms and stuff like that? Because that's nasty.

Speaker 2 I thought she meant like, are you just throwing them on the floor? Like when you're done, you throw them on the floor and you gather them up and you throw them in the lawn.

Speaker 1 I wasn't totally sure.

Speaker 2 All I did know was that it was her subtle fossil bitch British way of saying you're doing it wrong. And I loved it.

Speaker 1 So now we go to Amy and she's like, when the women get here, Joe, I can go talk to them as a group and kind of let them know what to expect. You know, I'm going to show them a little golden pond.

Speaker 1 I'm going to show them a Paul Newman salad dressing cover and just say, he's not really this hot, but he he is this old. Okay.
Thousand Island for the win.

Speaker 1 And then I'm going to say, okay, girls, come on up. Let's go meet Joe.
And then one by one, he has a quick chat. Okay.
He's going to have a quick chat with each of them. Okay.

Speaker 1 He's going to be checking IDs just to make sure they're not over 32. Okay.

Speaker 2 We all, we screened all the women and we asked, if you were still alive, would you fuck Richard Mulligan? And they all said yes. So they're approved.
They're on the yacht.

Speaker 1 We each said, okay, Richard Mulligan versus Dreyfus. And they all chose Dreyfus.
They're going to love you. They are absolutely going to love you, Joe.

Speaker 2 There was one person who said David Leisure, and we accepted that. We said that was fine.
We said, you know, Joe Asuzu is okay.

Speaker 1 You're extremely popular. There's a woman named Park Overall threatening to blow up the boat if I don't let her on, but I'm going to call her Bluff.

Speaker 2 I'm not letting her on. I told her she can come on, but she can't actually wear overalls.
And she said, that's just my name. And I said, okay, I wasn't sure.

Speaker 2 You don't have to get hostile and she said you don't tell me who's to get hostile with who so i said okay just come on the boat and you just get rid of her first okay just just do me a favor

Speaker 1 so now dekhan joe takes some of these water and he's like we can share it because we're we're we're sharing spit anyways

Speaker 1 and then sandy calls uh people to the bow for the anchor and now it's bow time but everybody's kind of running into each other and stuff and it's looking a little messy and max is like uh well, I don't know about this.

Speaker 1 V and Joe's birding. It might be hurting us.

Speaker 2 So now we got back to the bachelor, Bachelor Joe, and he's talking to Amy on the deck. And he's like, you know, I come from a long history of not very successful relationships.

Speaker 2 So I have commitment issues. Oh, really? You wouldn't say.
I mean, what part of courting seven people at once says you have commitment issues? I never would have thought.

Speaker 2 And Amy's like, well, you did put here that you like confidence.

Speaker 1 What do you mean by that?

Speaker 2 Amy, I think it's a pretty straightforward

Speaker 2 sentence. Hmm, confidence.
What does confidence mean? So he says, yeah, well, I've dated some folks that had some insecurities about themselves.

Speaker 2 You know, somehow I get involved with people that need things. So in order to weed out the people that need things, I decided, let me bring them all onto a yacht

Speaker 2 because they probably want to come onto a yacht because they. they need this experience in their life.

Speaker 1 Well, that's the thing. He's basically saying,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm rich. So people are using me for my money.
And so I need more confident people. Basically, maybe I need people with money.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to rent a yacht and get a bunch of desperate people from some dating service slash brothel who won't be using me for my money at all.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, Joe, you're setting yourself up.
And I love that he's blaming all the women for just being so insecure around him, Joe. I don't think they're the ones that are insecure.

Speaker 1 They're not having to pay somebody to bring them people that can't escape him. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Because this is a situation where they can't just leave the first date when they think he's Fuggo or gross or smells weird.

Speaker 2 They have to stay.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's just a gross guy. So she's like, oh, yeah, Joe, you just taken the stray cats.
Well, I've been a stray cat before.

Speaker 1 Now I'm mama cat and I run all the stray cats.

Speaker 1 Don't damage the cats, Joe. Don't damage the cats.

Speaker 2 And then she gets onto a tire and ascends up to the sky. So then,

Speaker 2 so then

Speaker 2 Joe and Max are off to go pick up the guests at the tender and

Speaker 2 everyone's talking about the girls are all on the docks talking about, oh my God, they're going to be partying, the sun's at, fun's out, or whatever.

Speaker 2 And Bachelor Joe is like,

Speaker 2 do you want to put a bet on whom I'm going to

Speaker 2 end up with? And Amy's like, no, I don't.

Speaker 1 Because I want it to be me.

Speaker 2 So now

Speaker 2 the women get into the tender. And of course, Joe goes, I just have to say something.
Y'all look fantastic, by the way. Y'all look fantastic.
Okay, can you just like, you were there to pick them up?

Speaker 2 Could you like not be this cheesy with the guests? It's like borderline offensive. Okay.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's nice to get a compliment, but like also, considering that he then turns and says the same thing to Kizzy in the kitchen, he's like, just want to see. You look fantastic.

Speaker 2 It's really the Carl Radke.

Speaker 1 You look great by the way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you look great. You look great, by the way.
So Kizzy is talking to Asha and she's saying, is it the perfect charter for her?

Speaker 1 Because I just love love, but now I'm getting on it, you know, and I'm getting on.

Speaker 1 And so Asha asks, who's in her sights? And she's like, all of them. I think V will be upset with me if I get with Joe.
So probably Joe.

Speaker 1 Why can't we just share? Why can't we just?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 women arrive and Amy's like, everyone, these women are part of my service. You can find them at at 1-900, Amy Girls.

Speaker 1 And then Asha's like, oh, this matchmaker is a bit weird. But I'm so excited for the charter.
Who's going to choose who to be? Let's fucking do this.

Speaker 2 I love that she just starts off saying, the matchmaker is weird. Anyway, these girls seem great.

Speaker 1 The matchmaker is weird. There's something fishy about this lady.

Speaker 1 She seems so... miserable.

Speaker 2 She seems miserable. She is like,

Speaker 2 every time she has to smile, she seems so pained.

Speaker 2 Like she hates joe she hates the women and she just you can tell she wants to let out her inner bitch but she doesn't want to be a bitch on tv so she's just like really keeping it all in she's holding it together she's brass knuckling it

Speaker 1 Well, just the whole, how the whole thing works. Like, okay, Joe, here's, here's a bunch of girls lined up.
Which do you like? Which don't you? All right, let's just get rid of those.

Speaker 1 You know, it's just so business-like and weird. It's like a job interview and it's just, it's creepy.
I wouldn't like my life either if if it was if it was like this, you know?

Speaker 1 It was probably a sizzle reel,

Speaker 2 yeah. It was well, it was probably a sizzle reel.
She probably had a sizzle reel going with a production company, and Bravo was like, We're gonna pass.

Speaker 2 So, they said, How about we just like put her on the yacht instead? So, she's probably so upset because she was supposed to have her own TV show instead.

Speaker 2 She's getting like shoehorned into a below deck season.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so Dekkhan Joe gives them all the all their shoes, and he's like, Oh, I've smelled all of them, ladies.

Speaker 1 Gross.

Speaker 1 And then Amy greets all the ladies and she's like, ladies, I cannot believe you are all here. Stretch your backs.
I know it was rough in those crates. Now, listen, there's a lovely bachelor.

Speaker 1 By lovely, I mean, yeah, he kind of looks like old Yeller

Speaker 1 in a bad way. If old Yeller had lived a little bit longer and not fallen down that well, trying to save Timmy.
God, I'm depressing myself, aren't I? Well, he's really old. He farts on accident a lot.

Speaker 1 Just pretend you don't smell those. He's looking off into the distance.
Just tell him, don't go towards the light, Joe. Come back.
Come back, Joe, because otherwise we're not going to get his money.

Speaker 1 Okay. Now, I'd love to introduce you.
Here he is shuffling, looking for the bathroom like it's three in the morning. Joe, it's still the daytime.
Joe, okay. It's Joseph, everybody.

Speaker 2 Now, if he starts talking to you about some little kind of like robot aliens that like are sitting in his tenement,

Speaker 2 just just humor him. Okay.
He's really obsessed with batteries not included. So just let him just let him just have that moment.

Speaker 1 If he looks bored, just ask him if he thinks Steve Gutenberg is gay and or talented. He will not stop talking for at least 15 minutes.

Speaker 2 He will offer to dive into the community swimming pool

Speaker 2 and just don't let him do it. Let him know that the aliens never came for him.

Speaker 2 It's dangerous for him to do it.

Speaker 1 So one of the girls is like, I'm ready, honey.

Speaker 1 And Amy says, there's love in the air. That was chickpea farts.
I shouldn't have let had, I shouldn't have let Joe have chickpeas. It's Joseph.
So they all come up to meet Joe. And

Speaker 1 they were supposed to go one by one, but they tackle Joe. And we see their photos and descriptions.
So we see Anna first. She was 2023 Ms.

Speaker 1 World, which is very important if you're looking for a good relationship. Okay.
Beauty queens only.

Speaker 1 That's all she needs on the the resume.

Speaker 2 So Anna Aliman. So wow, she really was Miss World.
That's shocking. I was like, because she acts so crazy.

Speaker 2 There's nothing about her that seems like a pageant person in this episode, but I guess, but I guess Miss World is different than Miss Universe, right? I wonder if Miss World is a different.

Speaker 2 Okay, you know what? I'm just not going to go down this path. I'm just going to stop myself right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's different. There's like Miss.
County and then Miss City and then Miss State and then Miss, you know, country and then Miss

Speaker 1 Universe, and then Miss Worlds, and then Miss Planet, and then Miss Interplanetary, Miss Saturn.

Speaker 2 Miss World focuses on beauty with a purpose by emphasizing humanitarian work and social impact, while Miss Universe celebrates confidently beautiful by highlighting confidence, glamour, and global ambassadorship.

Speaker 2 So, I mean, I should have been able by watching the way Anna talked and behaved on this episode, I should have clearly understood that Miss World was about emphasizing humanitarian work and social impact.

Speaker 2 So, that's my bad, everyone.

Speaker 1 Well, I think, you know, another difference is like Miss World is generally the most fucked because it's the whole world and the whole world is fucked. Let's just face it.

Speaker 1 So Anna, yeah, and I'm surprised she was 2023 Miss World 2 because she seems vile, like as a person. So then we go to Leah.

Speaker 1 She's a soprano opera singer, which is something I wasn't expecting that, except I was because I saw the previews. And then Alicia is a former champion bodybuilder.

Speaker 1 And Brooke has a a master's degree from Harvard. We don't know what in, but really she's going up against an opera singer, Ms.
World, and a bodybuilder.

Speaker 1 So at this point, she's just, she's too good to be here right. Wait, is Brooke the blonde girl who's like, oh my God, poodles talk?

Speaker 2 Is she the one who, I don't remember which one was Brooke, but,

Speaker 2 and then there was also Mary Lee, who specializes in red carpet makeup. And her face is like, she's like, it's like an extreme close-up on her face.
And I was like, whoa, be careful of this one.

Speaker 2 But actually, she wound up being one of the more normal normal ones turns out yeah i was like red specializes in red carpet makeup and that close-up face i was like red flags all around do the carpet i take it show up like beige

Speaker 2 okay so she has the makeup she does the makeup for the actual carpet yeah like hold on everyone don't walk on the carpet yet

Speaker 1 that's not the makeup on

Speaker 2 so now they're going to do their one-on-ones and anna is taking pictures of the caviar and um which so basic i mean not like and i say that as someone who takes pictures of caviar anytime i see it i'm like i'm like i'm just saying i'm basic and she's basic we're basic together yeah

Speaker 2 and well it's just one of those things like look i'm around caviar oh i'm rich that's the thing it's like i take pictures of things that like arrive in front of me that look beautiful but i would never go to a to a like a buffet and if there's a caviar they'd be like oh i gotta take a picture of the caviar so people know i'm around caviar yeah

Speaker 1 yeah but that's what they're doing. So that's what that's Anna's vibes.

Speaker 1 So, no, I'm with you. I'm following you.
I'm just reading the notes at the same time.

Speaker 1 So Josh is kind of looking at Kizzy in the kitchen. She's like, what are you looking at?

Speaker 1 He's like, nothing, nothing. I was just wondering where my fucking tongues were.
Oh, smooth. Smooth, buddy.
All right. So now he's getting one-on-one time with Ashley.
And he's like, you look amazing.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, my God. Listen, this was a pretty hard first date to top.
I mean, it was crazy. I was brought over here with my wrists tied with a bunch of girls I really didn't know.

Speaker 1 And then I was brought on a little dinghy over to this big boat with an elderly person and a lady taking pictures of eggs. This is terrifying.
Would you let me off this boat?

Speaker 2 And then we see Amy talking to the other women and she goes, guys, let me tell you about Joe. He is a great guy.
Okay. He's a finance guy.
He's 47 and he's definitely 47.

Speaker 2 Don't even need to fact check it so don't do it and he already has two kids um he would love to have more kids he just wants to have he just wants to have a lot of babies so that way he's not the only bald one in the household okay and anna goes ew

Speaker 1 he's like listen it's not only about being bald he also doesn't want to be the only infirm one in the in the household anna she's like oh gross

Speaker 2 Amy goes, but he's all about chemistry. So things are negotiable.
I'm like, thank you for highlighting that. Cause imagine if he was like, you know what? I don't care about chemistry.

Speaker 2 I don't care if there's chemistry. Just find me a lady.

Speaker 1 So now Kathy's downstairs mumbling about herself. And she's like, oh, I suppose some things don't need to be washed then because things here just are not washed.

Speaker 1 And then she's vacuuming the washers and the dryers. Like, well, there's too much dust on these.
Vacuum the washers. Vacuum the dryers.
Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, vacuum.

Speaker 1 Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum.

Speaker 2 When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Speaker 1 Eh?

Speaker 1 So now she's moving stuff on the counters and everything's gleaming in cartoon gleams, you know, and she's wearing her little rubber gloves. And it's like Snow White has just passed.

Speaker 1 Everything's gleaming and gorgeous. So then Aisha runs into Sammy, Sandy.
Sammy.

Speaker 2 Hey, Sammy.

Speaker 1 He's like, ah, I can't stop making out with women, guys.

Speaker 1 So Captain Sandy's like, what's it like up there?

Speaker 1 It's good. We've got them hanging out there.
I'm taking them one by one. And they keep going up to him and saying, Santa Claus, when did you lose so much weight?

Speaker 1 Oh, good.

Speaker 2 And then we see Nathan and Joe. They're talking about it.
And Nathan's like, how do you reckon the dating's going? He's like, oh, well, when you have money, you can do anything.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's the way I probably would do it too. Would you? He's like, yeah, oh, like them.

Speaker 2 Light them up. Fly them in.

Speaker 2 I'm like, Nathan, you realize you had like a supermodel hanging off of your arm for like the past year and you're still like fantasizing on ways that you could like pick out the creme de la creme of the dating pool?

Speaker 2 Like you realize you had something and you probably messed it up.

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is the creme de la creme. I don't think the creme de la creme's fantasizing.

Speaker 2 He's fantasizing that, oh, if only he had money, he could just fly in the women and make his choices.

Speaker 1 It's like you already had someone really hot and nice. Yeah, send me a plumber any day.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Who needs all this? Just send me a man, a man who knows how to do something.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Ladies are mingling.

Speaker 2 Anna is like, oh my God, I want to take a photo. And so she like, she keeps doing this pose on the boat where she like leans back and puts her like hand on her forehead and then closes her eyes.

Speaker 2 And she's like, oh.

Speaker 1 Girls love having a pose that they do all the time. I mean, my niece does it.
She does this thing. She does a couple.
She has like three that she goes through.

Speaker 1 One is this, where she puts her hand under her chin like this and smiles like really big. And she does it.

Speaker 1 She's got like hundreds of pictures like that and then my favorite one that she does is where she stands straight with her hands on her hips and then she looks behind her she's like

Speaker 1 oh yeah that's the picture why are you why are you taking the picture oh i don't want to see the back of your head what are you doing

Speaker 2 she's not she's oh yeah well i think that's like a gen z thing she's facing away from the camera A Gen Z thing, I think, is to kind of obscure your face a little bit.

Speaker 2 Like, there's also a thing that I see Gen Zers do where they'll take a picture, but they'll have like their hand in front of their face a little bit, kind of like,

Speaker 2 like you can't see it all. It's a mystery.
You want to see more

Speaker 2 blocking or like going like this or like a hand or like a cup or something.

Speaker 2 There's also the Gen Z selfie. You know about the Gen Z selfie?

Speaker 1 No, it's the Gen Z selfie. Let me look.

Speaker 2 The Gen Z selfie, I'll describe it. What you do is you take your phone

Speaker 2 and you, if it's an iPhone, you put it on the 0.5 lens. So it's the wide angle, you know, but but you don't do it, you don't do it like fake, you don't, you're not aiming it towards yourself.

Speaker 2 Like you're not, you don't have the face forward camera. You do like the normal cameras, if you were taking a picture of like food or a landscape.

Speaker 2 And then you turn the phone around and you hold it out in front of you and you aim the lens at your face. And you just have to become really good at knowing which way it's looking.

Speaker 2 It's kind of like how we had to do selfies back.

Speaker 2 before we had front-facing cameras. And so you do this wide angle phone flipped around picture picture of yourself.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 I've tried it a few times and I look crazy when I do it, but that's the way the kids are doing it. That's what they're doing.
I'll try to do one right now.

Speaker 1 See if I can do it. Okay, I want to see you do it.

Speaker 2 Okay, let me try.

Speaker 2 My office is messy right now, everyone. You're going to see a messy background.
I apologize ahead of time. Okay, so I have it.

Speaker 2 It's on the... 0.5.
Okay, so I'm going to try to take it. Okay.
Okay. It's on 0.5.
Oh, no, it's not on 0.5. Now it's on 0.5.
I'm going to turn turn it around and you use the side buttons.

Speaker 1 Okay. What?

Speaker 2 So this is how

Speaker 2 this is how it turned out. But what happens is, do you see? Yeah.
Sorry, people who are listening. This is not compelling.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Let me show it.
Let me show it to Biller and see what he says.

Speaker 2 But what it does is it makes my head look tiny and my torso look enormous.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a weird. Yeah, that's a weird one.
Yeah, I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1 They also like doing it really close to the face, but from above, so it looks like your head is giant and then the rest of your face is tiny. It's really weird, the things that they do.

Speaker 2 It actually completely distorts your body and

Speaker 2 it actually looks crazier than you can imagine.

Speaker 1 I know I'm not going to ask Bueller what he's doing.

Speaker 1 That's what Bueller thinks of yourself.

Speaker 1 It's the Bueller cam.

Speaker 1 Okay, so let's get back to it. So now Bachelor Joe is talking to Leah and she's like, I'm an opera singer.
I just sing for President Trump. And he's like, Badass.
She goes, I know, I love him.

Speaker 2 So, for anyone who is wondering who is performing at the Kennedy Center these days, keep an eye out for Leah, the one and only performer.

Speaker 2 Like, and now the one-lady production of Lei Miz, starring Leah as all the roles. She's like running around the stage.

Speaker 1 They're in the darkness.

Speaker 1 This is trumpeting Melania because they can't sell any tickets.

Speaker 2 Hey, Leah, are you comfortable doing little shop? Because that will require you to climb in and out of that plant.

Speaker 1 I'll do anything.

Speaker 1 I'll let me green bottle from autospace and all that.

Speaker 1 Somewhere in that screen.

Speaker 2 Get back in the plant, Leah. I'm getting there.

Speaker 1 I'm getting there.

Speaker 1 So now,

Speaker 1 let's see. Sandy's just loving this speed dating.
And then we go to Bachelor Joe talking to Alicia. And he's like, you know, my phone knows I go to sleep.
So it tells me it's time to go to bed.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, my God, you are speaking my language. Why are we awake right now?

Speaker 2 I love when, I love that he acts like the phone divined that. It's like you enter it in your settings when you like to go to sleep.
And then the phone gives you like,

Speaker 2 you say like the health setting, right? You say how many hours you want to get per night. And then like it calculates when your alarm is.
And then it says, it's time for bedtime.

Speaker 2 He's like, wow, it just like knows.

Speaker 1 I turn that shit off immediately. I turn all those things off the phone.
It's like, time to stand up and breathe. How about it's time to fucking sit down and die, stupid fucking phone?

Speaker 1 Tell me what to do.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like $150 for you for you to tell me to breathe. The fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, stupid motherfucking phone.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, he goes to sleep at 9.30. He's like, yeah, my phone knows I like mushed up food.
Will you mush up this food for me? It's caviar still.

Speaker 1 Mush it up.

Speaker 2 Hold on, can I take a picture of it before you mush it up?

Speaker 2 So then the Joe's talking to Maryland, Merrily, and he's like, I'd like to go to Brazil. Oh, I have to invite you to go to Brazil.
Brazil would have everything.

Speaker 2 Like, if you want to go to the beach, we have the beach. If you want the mountains, you have the mountains.
Really? You don't say Merile. You mean this giant fucking country of Brazil has a beach

Speaker 2 and a mountain? Oh, we have everything. You want to see a tree? We got trees in Brazil.

Speaker 2 Have you ever heard of sounds? We have sounds. It's like the country has everything.

Speaker 1 So now Josh and the boys are talking in the galley and they're talking to Kizzy. And he's like, so Kizzy, when are you up? And it's your turn to go talk to old man Joe.
And she's like, I'm up next.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, don't be a tramp, Kizzy. And she goes, oh, you're going to get fucking smacked, mate.
Tee hee hee. So now we go back to him with Anna.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, this is my first time in Barcelona, unfortunately. And she looks really uncomfortable.
And he goes, isn't it amazing here in Barcelona? And she goes,

Speaker 1 yes, but it unfortunately can't compare to Saint-Tropez.

Speaker 2 She thinks she's doing some sort of flex. And he's like,

Speaker 2 you know, I'm the one who charted this yacht. Like, it's not impressed me that you mentioned Santrope.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure what I'm saying. I'm paying for your trip.

Speaker 1 And now you're saying it's not good enough. So enjoy your old people in Saint Trope because that's who you're going to be stuck with.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Because this senior is not putting up with you after 9.29 p.m., ma'am.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 My phone is telling me it's time to go to sleep.

Speaker 2 So he's not into her.

Speaker 2 So now Kizzy and Kathy are separating laundry and Kathy's like, so this laundry, this is, this is Joe's laundry. And Kizzy's like, yeah, he's so beautiful to me.
He's mine. He's mine.

Speaker 2 Kathy's like, beautiful, isn't he? Has anyone else hooked up yet? And Kizzy's like, well, me and Joe did, and they're getting quite close. I think she's kind kind of like, he's mine.

Speaker 2 Like, jealous bitch, be careful.

Speaker 2 Get too close. You'll get a siletto in the eye if you know what I'm talking about.
Watch out.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile,

Speaker 1 V and Joe are outside flirting. She's like, oh my God, this is wet.
And he's like, oh, really? Who isn't? And she's like,

Speaker 2 that's hilarious, Joe.

Speaker 1 So then Asia is asking one of the ladies how it went. And she liked him fine.
And everyone's like, well, yeah, I guess he seems nice, right? And then Anna is is over there like,

Speaker 1 making gross faces.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Deck team's getting the toys out. And V

Speaker 2 is like, yeah, they're not even using anything. And then they're just doing some like, some administrative stuff.
And

Speaker 2 Max has to go down. Like, Nathan sends Matt down, then, which leaves Nathan and Joe to hang out on deck and just have more fun.
So this is where Nathan.

Speaker 2 Nathan, I'm sorry. This is where Max tells us his tragic backstory.
He's like, Nathan, like La me on day shifts at the beginning, and then like his best friend come and it changed everything.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm feeling bad, and I understand that it's because I don't speak with my parents anymore, and like we have real bad relationship, and all this love that I lost, I was like finding a friendship because I was like having connection with people, and what I couldn't find with people, I found with jellyfish.

Speaker 2 But I don't know, I just I get emotional.

Speaker 1 I am so emotional every time you walk in the room. Oh no, but it's good, it's okay, I'll be good, I'll be strong.
Yeah, he really stretched that out into something.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's like, I hurt, my feelings are hurt because my parents. Wow.
Geez, we really blame them for everything, don't we? I mean, I blame my parents for everything.

Speaker 1 So I'm generally, I'm in, I'm in that, you know, like, I like that. But this is a little bit of a stretch.

Speaker 2 You also could just be hurt by being demoted on the friendship ladder. Just, I think just the simple act of it is enough.
Like, you don't even have to bring the parents into it.

Speaker 2 Like, if you say, oh, the two of us were like, we're like the buddies and we were running things. And now his friend came in.
And now I'm just kind of like the run to the litter.

Speaker 2 And I'm sent to do overnights while they get to play and have fun. And I'm left out.
Like, that's enough to make me feel bad for you.

Speaker 1 You don't even have to bring in the parents. Yeah, you don't need it.
And I feel like that's kind of a modern thing, right?

Speaker 1 It's like, if you don't like something, you can't just have an opinion anymore. It's like, well, my opinion matters because this is how I'm a victim.

Speaker 1 You know, no, your opinion matters even if you're not a victim. Like you still have the right to have your feelings hurt.
I agree.

Speaker 1 You don't have to be like, like, I have parental trauma. Who cares? Get over it.
You're old. Like, just say you're pissed.

Speaker 2 Well, you know what?

Speaker 2 At this point, then Kathy comes upstairs and goes, the story of a mother's life, trapped between a scream and a hug.

Speaker 2 I don't understand.

Speaker 2 You'll see it someday in the paper.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 so now Joe is going down to the mess and complimenting Victoria and flirting with Victoria.

Speaker 1 And it's annoying watching him because we've already heard him say things like, well, she won't be in a relationship with me anyway. So we know that he's getting ready to lily pat away from her.
And

Speaker 1 he's still flirting with her really hard to make the fall harder for her, which is really annoying. And he's like, V, you're really an asset to the team.
And Aisha's like, oh, Jesus.

Speaker 1 Because she hears it and she knows exactly what he's doing.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Hello there. This is a two-part recap.
Okay. This is the end of part one.
So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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Speaker 1 She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

Speaker 1 Let's give a kiss a Reno to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.
We love her on the rocks, it's Melissa Cox.

Speaker 1 Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg.

Speaker 2 This is living with Michelle Vivian.

Speaker 1 I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

Speaker 2 She sure is swell.

Speaker 1 It's Raquel. Yes, we canna.
It's Sedana.

Speaker 2 Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

Speaker 1 Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors.

Speaker 2 Make way for AJ Lopez.

Speaker 1 She's V V I P, it's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

Speaker 2 Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

Speaker 1 We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Speaker 2 Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.

Speaker 1 Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.
Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.

Speaker 2 Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

Speaker 1 Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

Speaker 2 Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the Cork Master, the Master of the Cork, Jennifer Corcoran.
We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.

Speaker 1 My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. She's a total knockout, it's Katie Manock.

Speaker 2 We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley. In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.
G, it's Lisa H. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron.
She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.

Speaker 2 Always killing it, it's Lola Al Kalani.

Speaker 1 The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.
Rose. There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

Speaker 2 Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

Speaker 1 We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Tele of Sun.

Speaker 2 Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop.
It's Solian Pop. Let's take off with Tam LaPlain.

Speaker 1 We're obsessed all with Tessa V.

Speaker 2 You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons.

Speaker 1 She ain't no shrinking Violet couchar.

Speaker 1 We love you guys.

Speaker 1 If you like watch what crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 1 Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

Speaker 3 Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 3 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 3 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 3 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 3 And this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 3 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.