#3091 RHOP S10E09 PART ONE: Case of the Ex

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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on the the first day of December, it's Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie.
How's it going? Well, hello, Benoons. How you doing, buddy?

I'm feeling refreshed and wonderful after taking a very long Thanksgiving weekend. How are you doing? Good.
I'm back in Texas. So

it's good because look who is behind me. On the couch.
It's Bueller sleeping.

Having his little nice piglet life back there. Look at the glorious beauty.

Living the life.

Well, I'm sorry that you're in Texas because that means that tomorrow I'm going on Jeff Lewis for the first time without Ronnie because Ronnie's in Texas. I know.
So I know

it's crazy. But Julia Cunningham looks like will be on with me and we love, love, love, love Julia.
So I'm looking forward to that. Go listen to Jeff Lewis tomorrow.

Also, I was on Morally Corrupt with Ms. Rachel Lindsay last week.
So go check that out. I forgot to plug it on the show, but that was a really fun episode.

Yeah, she's a good chick so go listen to that over on her podcast morally corrupt okay

yeah

and i don't know oh we have we're doing um amazon live today and we also are doing crappy hour so we have a whole bunch of stuff that's happening later this afternoon that's going to be live live live live live So come join us for all of those things.

I think there was something else. Plus, insanely busy week.
I mean, we've got Southern Charm is back. We've got Vanderpump Rules returning.
We've got Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returning.

We've got Mary to Medicine return. And we're going to check in with that one, do a couple recaps of that bad boy.
So, yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot happening in our world.

It's like rest, have some, you know, carbs for the holidays, and boom, welcome back to 10 shows a week, baby.

Yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be a wild one.

So anyway, to that effect, let's dive into it. Let's get into Potomac, which was so good and so hilarious.
um where we last left off um stacy was just handling kiarna

uh kiarna was trying to take down stacy

and uh what i thought was so funny was that there was this line this very funny line that the last episode ended with which is kiarna saying you know what like I would never trust you around my husband.

And Stacey says, you don't have one. And it's hilarious.

And what I loved is that basically when I turned on Bravo last night, I heard it three times within the span of 60 seconds because you turn it on and you hear the end of the replay from last week.

So you turn it on, the first thing you hear is, I would never trust you around my husband. You don't have one.
And then previously, I would never trust you around my husband. You don't have one.

And then this episode starts, I would never trust you around my husband. You don't have one.
They just really drilled it in how much Kierno lost that fight. It was just cracky.

And you know, that line is spoken on every housewife show at some point, right? It's like, oh, she doesn't have a husband. Ooh, burn, you know, and it's usually so annoying.
Like,

who cares? Why do we all have to have a husband? You know, there's more to life than having a husband.

You know, there's all that that usually goes on because it's been happening since the dawn of this show. That's like one of the big disses.

It's like a diss trope on this show, a trope diss on this show. But just the way Stacey did it and just knowing how much Kierna cares.
you know, about it. Yeah.
Because she cares.

She really identify she really needs that for her identity. Like it really bothers her that she's not.
And so that's why it burned so bad. And it was good.

And it's also good just because it's fun seeing a QVC host pissed off. I mean, if there is one person trained in this world to not get pissed off, it's a QVC host.

I mean, Buddha would yell before a QVC host.

Yeah.

It's, it's really a very special thing to witness. And

it was just, it's, it's great. It's great work.

So that's where we start up again.

Oh, by the way, do you hear this?

No. That's the sound of silence because guess what, America?

I finally got my chair fixed. So no more creaky chair in the background of the podcast.
I'm sorry for everyone who had to deal with that. Oh, yes, there will be.
Fixed it.

Because I didn't fix my Texas one. So I'll be squeaking plenty.
Don't you worry, everybody.

It'll be still beaking. Someone will be squeaking at all times.
Okay. So we start up with Kierna again saying, again, saying, I would never trust you with my my husband.

And Stacey saying, you don't have one. Kirna goes, and guess what? You don't have one either, bitch.
What about Timo? What about Timo?

Which, you know what, that's got to be killing Kiarna because like in her mind, she was probably watching last week's episode and me like, but I said something back.

They made it seem like she ended me, but I said something back.

Yeah, you said something back, but it doesn't count, babe. I mean, she had Timo, which is more husbands than you've ever had.
And Timo, she left Timo and then took him back.

So she's had a husband twice. So that's, you know, it's even sadder.
Kirina, just drop it, you know, and Kierana is also just still going too hard.

It's every episode that Kieran is trying to start something with somebody and it just falls flat every time. And it's getting more and more fun because her face is getting crazier by the day too.

Have you noticed? Like, I think she's just pulling, she's just getting so stressed that she's like pulling her hair back tighter and tighter. And it's like moving her eyes back.

And she's just getting a crazier face now too, to go with all of the fail. And it's just, it's just delicious, you know, because it's so well earned.

I know. It's like Kierna and Angel,

they're just like, they are just, they're just like the worst right now. And what's so frustrating is that they're bringing around the hottest guys ever to this show.
And it's like, why?

Can we, can we get like someone who brings hot guys who's actually interesting to watch?

Why do we have to have these two be our ambassadors? Because it's like, we know if we say, okay, get rid of Kierna and Angel, we lose Bobby and Kierna's brother. That's just not fair to us.

Oh my God, Kierna's brother. Good lord, I wasn't expecting that.
Like, happy Thanksgiving. Well, we saw him last season.

We saw him last season in a polo shirt, and he was hot then. And then this time he was like, Oh, I want to show America what I'm really working with.

I was like, Oh my goodness, goodness gracious, Kierna's brother. He doesn't even have a name, he's just Kierna's brother.
Wow,

wow, yeah, what a handsome feller.

So, um,

yeah, she's screaming, where's Timo? Where's Timo? Stacey's like, here you go, acting a fool. She goes, oh, really? And that's a great defense mechanism.
Well,

what?

And

someone's like, well, someone here told Chris, Tia, who, you know, look, I like Tia on the show.

She's a great addition, and I'm never going to not like her, but I'm not liking her jumping on the bandwagon.

Tia is coming a little too hard for Stacey. And I don't like it because especially later in the show where they all have the mean girls like gang up.

Like they're like, let's have a girl, let's have a meeting just to talk shit about Stacy. And Tia's there, you know,

lisping away with them. And I just don't, I don't like it.
It's not a good look for you. I know it makes me, it makes me very upset that that Tia is on the wrong side with this one.

You know, Tia's just so wonderful, but that is the mean girl side. And

it's the losing side. I would like to also add.
So Stacy, so Tia's like, somebody here told Chris about about what happened. And Stacey's like, well, I don't talk to Chris.

Giselle's like, yeah, this one, this one doesn't know girl code. She's not to be trusted around husbands or children, nah, or anybody else.

Okay, now we're putting her on Megan's list. I mean,

seriously? She's like, she cannot go within 30 feet of a school or a church.

Like, what are you making her out to be some child molester for now, Giselle? Jesus Christ, Giselle.

And let's not forget, Giselle was the one spreading that Chris was trying to like sexually assault her in some dressing room or something. And oh, made or made her feel uncomfortable

using language that would hint that he was like kind of

assaulting her. Giselle is going hard.
Giselle's disgusting. Giselle.

I love Giselle. Giselle can also be disgusting.
They can be two things at the same time. Giselle's always been one of my favorites.
Yeah. Yeah.
I love disgusting things. So wrong.

Listen, I eat peanut M ⁇ Ms out of my belly button. Do you think, you know what? You think I'm going to kick you out of the car if you're disgusting? I'm not.
Okay. I'm a human being.
I pick my nose.

I I have poop.

You know what? You know what? You're welcome at this table. But the thing is,

the thing is that I think Giselle is going hard on Stacy right now because Stacy...

Stacy sort of has Giselle's number about the football player that Giselle went on a date with. She basically used Giselle's tactics against her in Nevis, and Giselle's not happy about that.

So she's going to go extra hard because as we've discussed many times, and as I will always bring up, just in case someone is just brand new to our podcast, I don't see where Stacy violated girl code here whatsoever.

She going on a date, whether or not she went on a date with Chris, it doesn't matter. None of that is a violation of girl code because she only met Monique two episodes ago.

So there's no violation there.

If she has a pre-existing relationship with Chris, because they're already friends, and then she sits at a table with Monique and Monique says, yeah, the reason why we got divorced is because he treated me like a piece of meat.

And you already know, you don't know this girl, but you know, but you have a friendship with the husband.

husband it's not out of the realm of possibilities and it's definitely not a violation of girl code to even just to text your friend and be like hey just so you know i just met i'm i'm at lunch with your ex and she's saying these things about you like i just don't think that's a violation i do i mean i do think that that's a violation i think that if i think that dating him is not but i think that if she called him and and told him filming information and made it you know said what Monique said, which Monique did say, like what we hear isn't exaggerated.

Monique did say that, you know, that he treats me like a piece of meat and stuff but by the way it's not a crazy she i i don't think these are salacious details it's not like i mean monique was sort of like it's when she said don't enter me you can never enter me again that's definitely like a ooh like you know moment but it's not like she was revealing a very um

well i mean it was it was important it was an intimate story but but i don't think that like when someone's saying, you know what?

And then like we had, like we had sex and then he like gave me a cold shoulder afterwards. And I was like, I'm done with him.

I don't think that's like a crazy thing to be like, hey, your ex just said this. I don't know.

I just don't like, I understand, like, it's maybe not cool, but I think when we're talking about girl code, when you don't know this person, I don't know. I don't think that's.

Well, it's still a girl.

So I think like hating him would be, but girl code, it is fucking with girl code. If you like turn around and tell the guy everything that she said at the dinner.
But we don't know.

Okay, so technically, technically, I mean, I think. I think.
Technically, yes. I just don't think that it deserves this level of scrutiny.

No, because they were already giving her this level of crazy, you know, this level of pushback the whole season. So this is just one more thing.

And it's like, eh, you guys, you're like the ladies who cried Wolf. You know, you're the ladies who cried girl code.
And I've had enough. Is Giselle going to ice out Cookie for talking to Chris?

Exactly. Well, that's the big thing here.
Why is nobody mad at Cookie for being friends with Chris? But except Cookie and Monique are not friends.

So that would not be a violation of girl code because they hate each other. But why are we trusting Sophia?

I don't. I don't know her.
So, and everyone's like, well, she's friends with Karen, though. Yeah.
And Karen's one of the messiest people on this show. Are we forgetting?

I like that Karen has like, you know, gone to prison, gone to jail for the DUI, and everyone has elevated her to sainthood now. It's crazy.
It's still Karen. Come on now.

So Stacey's like, well, why don't we call the person accusing me of a lie then? And Wendy's like, oh, who can call Quith? You know Quith, don't you? Don't, don't, don't.

Hoverboard. It's me, Tha, I'm the hoverboard.
Sharise just hoverboards in from the sky. And it's like, here, me.

Anybody need me to be methyl? Is that a fun?

I am.

Yeah, we didn't even mention that Sharice was in the scene last week. And I remember.

like over the course of the week i was like oh we forgot to call out that charis was in the scene and then i thought do we have to call out every single time sharice shows up we don't have to But then, guess what?

Cherise plays a role. She's like, guess what?

I am the eldest wag in the room. So I have all the phone numbers of all the football players.
The eldest wag of all the wags. So Cherise calls.
She's like, I'll call Quiz. So she calls him.

And actually, that's kind of more Wendy. The ref is more like this.
You're like, I'll call Chris right now. So she does.
And it rings and rings. And she's like, hi, Quiz.
This is the weef.

Is that a pun? And he's like, what do you, what can I do for you, Shireen? So

the cell phone is like the size of a Tic Tac in his hand. He's like, hello there.

So she's like, okay, Chris.

I'm just imagining. He's just like.

You're right. I was holding it like this for Chris.
He'd be like, hello?

It's like those mini microphones people use.

He's like, I'm good.

What is happening? Ding,

Fight so far. I smell the blood of a housewife's fight.

What can I do for you?

Okay, Chris, I'm good. I'm actually filming, which I know.
Thank you very much. And we had a situation where Cookie was made to look bad.
And I know you and Cookie are very good friends.

And I just want to know if Stacey communicated with you about a conversation that was how about Monique. That's it.
Yes and no, Chris. Yes and no.
So he pauses,

or at least they make it seem like he pauses. and then he goes, I don't know anything about what the fuck y'all people are talking about.

Okay, Chris, have a good night. So Stacey's like, well, we called and here we are.

You made a phone call and still

she rises.

Still I rise. Talk about drama.
Talk about self-service. Talk about clarity.
Talk about a reliable network. So, no one believes this, though.

It seems like most women feel like Chris is covering for Stacey. That's the implication.
Because, you know, then Karen's like, well, then how would he know that there was a conversation?

Like, how would he know about that? And Stacey's like, well, you called Chris and you still want to accuse me of being a liar. He just told you no.

Yeah. And everyone's like, you're a liar.
You're a liar. And Giselle's like, nothing would convince me that she did not tell him nothing.

Yes, I'm believing Stacey. And also, I believe that pigs fly.

Of course I don't believe her.

Princess Ben.

So Stacy is like, it's very clear to me that no matter what I do or what I say, everyone is always questioning me. So fine, but I could care less.

We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.

All right, Maya. Take a seat.
Okay.

So Jassy says hi to Greg walks in so jassy waves hi to greg she's the one who who does it i guess they all like draw straws no greg comes over the one to see he comes over

yeah yeah

whatever it's like

it's like i don't know it's like saying a turtle walked in the room it's like okay fine that would actually be more interesting i was gonna say that would be amazing we'd all be like come on

i love that video where you became friends with the chicken on the dodo

so uh giselle's gonna celebrate her 10 million listens for her podcast. And Stacy is trying to like, she's sweating, so she's just trying to wipe down.

And Wale is having a conversation with Ashley, Wale from Love Hotel. And he's like, your eyeshadow looks good.
Everything looks amazing. Cause now he's going to be nice.

He can pretend like he wasn't ignoring her before. Yeah, Wale, you're so thirsty.
And he was much cuter on Love Hotel, right?

He was really cute. I remembered him being cute on Love Hotel.

I know he wasn't cute on this, but maybe it's because he's got like the thirst filter on because wherever there's a camera, there's Wale just trying to get into the camera, you know, into the shot or whatever.

And so hey, honestly, I have to say, I kind of love the strange trickling of Love Hotel men throughout these shows now.

Like in Orange County, we had like Phil came back and so did that one guy without like the chin. And then now we have Wale.
They're kind of like all floating through.

And it's just like fun to see these awkward men. kind of you know getting a second chance in the limelight for like one second yeah

so um charise lost, right? Because she called Chris, and that was a big lose, but she still wants to get one for the winning team.

So, she's like, Okay, girls, well, last time she and I went out, we met these guys, right? And they're all married. And the guy that she liked goes to the bathroom, and the other guy said,

Oh, I can see you guys who are into each other, but he's married. And this trick looks at him and says, What does that have to do with me?

Boom! So, everyone's like, Oh my god, Stacey's a whore, Stacy's a whore.

Man,

feeling all boner alive.

Suddenly, you can't make jokes. Suddenly, you can't have like a funny, shady joke.
I mean, I don't know. I mean, whatever.
So I'm like, I'm going to defend Stacy no matter what. I know, but

I just also love the thought that when the cameras go down, Stacy just turns into this like sex-hungry vixen, you know, that's like suddenly she's like, okay, cameras are down.

It's like, what are you doing tonight? Married man. Yeah.

I sold a camel sweater today. Fuck me in every orifice.
Let's go.

Yeah. Well, then, yeah.

So, I mean, I kind of feel like sort of with the logic of like, this is not really how I belie what I think, but part of me feels like if you're going to use the logic that these women are using, then what, Sharice, what were you and Stacey doing that, going out with two married men in the first place?

You know? Like, I think they were just talking to people at the bar, right? Because she just said they they were with... I mean, I'm assuming that they were just people they were talking to at a bar.

I don't know. Now,

that being said, I do fully believe that the Stacey who's on camera is very different than the one when the cameras are off. And I love that for her.

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So Wendy is like, Stacey is talking to Wendy to be like, can you get me together and everything? And Wendy's like, oh, she's like, oh, girl, they had you up on the ropes, girl.

Like, you were up on the rope. She goes, oh, my God, put Vaseline on my eyes.
Please do this. She's like, oh, wow.
You were really on the whoops. Put it on my knuckles.

And so, you know, then we cut back to Greg and Greg's like, no one spoke to me, everybody. I got a little jealous.
And Jesse's like, well, we spoke to you. We said, there's Greg, remember?

And then we just decided to keep arguing. So sorry about that, but we are working.
Okay. So then

I wonder how Greg feels, by the way, going to this party. And it's like, you know, the men always have to stand by the side and watch their women fight.
And it's just like Greg. And then you got...

Darius and Bobby. He's like flanked.
I mean, I kind of feel like Greg has the energy of someone. he sort of has that like Napoleon energy of

someone who's trying to exert power on his women because he feels like inadequate in other parts of his life. And I can't imagine that

standing between two like giant football players made him feel any better about himself.

You know? Yeah, it's like using bookends, but you've only collected like, you know, one really small book.

It's not even a book. It's just like a trinket.
It's like a yo-yo you found.

It's a Rubik's cube.

So then there's Vivian. Vivian's talking to Tia and they're bonding over the fact that they are Nigerian, which is cool.

I love that this show has really become, it's like half the cast is wags, half the cast are Nigerians. I think that's such a fun combo.
Yeah. I like that Vivian's like, oh, you don't like Stacey?

Great. I'll make dresses for you.
Let's get together.

So they talk about being Nigerian and then Angel, Giselle, Giselle, who said she's going to go enjoy her party. Of course, it's not.
She's not going to do that because it's Giselle, right?

So she's like, oh, by the way, yeah, Wendy, just so you know, wah, Angel was all in my face talking about how she got smoke for you. So come over here, Angel.
Come over here, Angel.

Get some smoke for Wendy to her face. Ah.

And, you know, then we see the conversation that Angel had where she's deciding to be upset with Wendy now. So Wendy goes, okay.

So she's like, okay, make it make sense. Angel, you got smoke for Wendy.
The smoke is smoking hot. It's smoking hot.
Everybody, gather around. Next fight.
Next fight. Let's keep it moving, people.

Audition season. Let's keep it moving.
So, Angel, Angel's like,

it just feels more like, I feel like you just don't treat me right. I mean, I feel like once you get to know me, you'll see me as a different person,

but you haven't had a chance to get to know me. I was surprised she didn't say that.
That's like her line this entire season.

In fact, I was surprised she didn't say that the entire episode, even later when she had people over to her house, I was shocked Angel was like, guys, I'm really glad that you're finally getting a chance to know me.

I'm like, oh, God, if if she says that again so wendy's like i don't treat you white and she's like no you don't you're dismissive and snide like you're being right now and passive aggressive well what do you want her to do like give you a hug after you accuse her of something she didn't do like of course you're she's gonna dismiss you because it's an outlandish thing that you're doing it's crazy that you're bringing this up yet again that you're still upset about something that was discussed and dealt with weeks ago and it was also primarily giselle who did it and now all of a sudden you're going to resurrect it to be mad at wendy And you now you want her to not be snide to you because of it?

I don't think so. And Wendy's done a very good job, I think, this season in general.
She's having probably her best season. And

with Angel, I think she's being very patient. She seems to be like, okay, it's a new girl.
She's going to try and start a fight with me, whatever.

And she's just keeping it kind of calm, cool, and collected, you know? And in this one, Wendy's like, okay, you want it? Okay, I'll just give it to you.

But she does it in such a bored way, which is so funny.

And she's like, oh, no, i'm being dwect and let me just tell you this i'm not the one to have a problem okay because i don't have an issue with you it's a one-sided beef it's a one-sided beef and she's like well do you see this is dismissive and gaslighting okay you said gaslighting i can't what are you fucking 20 get out of here everything is not gaslighting i know you can try to psychoanalyze me if you want i'm like i don't think she even tried to do that she basically was like you're trying to have an issue with me i don't have an issue with you so go do this if you want but i'm not going to engage in this yeah by saying gaslighting you're the psychoanalyzer not her what are you talking about you're throwing out some bullshit tick tocks you know pop psychology terms god she's terrible

so wendy's like i don't i don't need to okay i can tell what you were thinking while you were talking to me i could tell and angel's like oh because you're miss cleo

come on angel So Wendy's like, yesterday, Tia told me that Angel was upset because she saw me at the airport in Nevis and I didn't say hi to her and you say that you saw me at the airport correct and she goes I did see you yeah so you don't say hi well you didn't say hi to me either

Wendy just like like ad case clothes you cannot complain about someone saying hi if you don't say hi also like you can say hi first it's like you know what I hate is when people say you never call me you never call me I'm like the phone works two ways yeah exactly

yeah exactly so

now she's like well we addressed it she felt like the whole catfish comment came from you so did you originate the catfish conversation? And Stacy's like, how did the catfish comment come from Wendy?

Wait, Giselle was the one who said catfish. Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.

And Giselle's like, Kira's like. No, no, no, she didn't.
Wendy said it. Wendy said it.
Oh, she's a circle. I said it, Kirda.
I said it.

I said it.

I did.

Wendy's like, she wants to have a problem. And so now Wendy and Stacy are both saying like, Giselle said it.
And then we see footage of Giselle saying it.

So Wendy's like, okay, instead of you coming for Giselle, it's me that you want to come for. And Angel's like, well, me and Giselle had a conversation.

And this is just another example of you being dismissive. Angel, you literally walked into a conversation and put yourself, you did a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You went into a conversation, put yourself in a position where she would dismiss you, and then you got mad that she dismissed you. Yeah.
You came up with a court case that was dismissed.

You came up with a dismissable case. Okay.
If you don't want to be dismissed, then stop being dismissable. Get some evidence, ma'am.
So Wendy's like, no, this is another example of you falling flat.

And she's not like, ooh,

Wendy's coming out. And so Angel's like, well, I'm done.
Thank you. I don't choose to engage.
You started it. You literally chose to engage.

I know. Wendy's like, you're saying no, thank you as if we want you here, girl.
And she goes, it's fine. Kieran's like, are we still having the same chat?

Well, I know, Kiarna, you're not the one who's going to be complaining about the same

storylines coming up again. Should we go back to two seasons ago where you spent an entire season talking about how no one paid attention to you while you had diarrhea? Oh, listen up, Scarface.

So she's like, Here comes your Siamese twin. Get on the piggyback.
Get on her back. And I only say Scarface because I don't see a scar.
So I don't know where that thing is, but I stopped it.

No, Scarface. Okay.
More damning. Listen up, Al Petino.
Shut up. Shut up, absolutely gorgeous face.

Quiet down. Shut up,

cheekbones.

Shut up, cheekbones from a family that all has amazing genetics. Shut up.

So Stacey's like, here comes your Siamese twin. Get on the piggyback.
Get on her back then. Kieran's like, girl, you just got off the back.
Cause

they just ignore her because it's just another stupid, nonsensical Kieran align. So they just ignore her.
And Wendy's like, okay, listen to me, Kate. Can you guys just stop? Just stop.

Oh, well, of course. At Giselle Event, it's going to be an eventful day.
It should have been called the $10 million battle, though.

Princess Burn! Princess Burn.

Two, two, in the first 10 minutes, everyone.

So Stacey is like, okay, well, what do you have to talk about besides me? And Karen's like, everything. She said, well, what?

For example, everything, everything, my life, my business, my condo, my man, my things.

Well, the only time you speak up is when it's about my name. Well, what do you have going on? Well, I have a husband and a ring, and you don't.

Which is, again, so funny because, like you said earlier, I feel like Stacey's bringing this up mainly because she knows that that matters more to kiarna i don't think that's stacey i don't think this is a big deal for stacy but i think it's a big deal for kiarna it's insecurity right and kiarna's like i don't want that ring it's cloudier than a motherfucker she's like oh is it oh really well it's probably cloudy compared to nothing go run after greg

go beg

Well, you can talk. Well, you got to talk about a man you paid.
Did you pay TJ? And Stacey's like, go beg. That's old.
That's last season. That's That's old.
Don't do me.

I know a tired asshole when I see one. You're a tired asshole from Detroit and I know one when I see one.
She's like, oh, yeah, well, you look like a troll.

I love Stacy coming out. Like, finally, Stacy's like, fine, I'll just fight these bitches, you know?

Because for Stacy to be like, you look like a troll, that's a lot for Stacy. And she's like,

don't do me. I like her, by the way.
I like her dedication to fairy tale insults because it was only a few weeks ago. She's like, you're an imp.

I'll bet you couldn't even figure out one of the riddles from the sewing guy.

I hope you get pricked and fall asleep for many years.

A troll and an imp.

What are you little boy made out of wood?

You're just a big bad wolf.

So

Stacey tells Giselle, okay, congratulations on a beautiful event and congratulations on your success and good night.

And Tia's like, Stacey's leaving. And Kira's like, bye.
And Jassey is like, but Stacey, I haven't seen you since the wedding. She's like, okay, well, open your eyes, honey.
I'm not welcome here.

I've come to support her and now I'm going to leave. And she's like, but why? She's like, I'll talk to you later.
And Giselle's like, if you're going to go, please go. Please go.
Please go.

It's like, I pushed it. I pushed the elevator button.
She's like, please go.

So, Giselle. Giselle's really overplaying her hand.
This woman has done nothing to you. This woman has done nothing to you.

And now you're you're following her to the elevator, pushing the down button and kicking her out of your event. Like,

you lost, Giselle. How many stupid storylines are you going to lose until you shut up?

Oh, many, many, many. And she's going to come even harder at Stacey at the reunion.

Now that Stacy has become like the people's champion, now that everyone is like obsessed with Stacy, everyone loves her. So now that's going to make Giselle even angrier.

So Giselle is going to just like double down. And Wendy, Wendy really, she, she backed the winning, the winning, the winning horse here, right?

Like Wendy needed an amazing season given the scandal that she's in. She needed to come merge from this as like the people's hero as well.
And Wendy's having a great season.

She's backing like the one that we all love. It's just like everything is turning up, turning up.
roses for Wendy, except for the fact that she may be facing serious jail time.

But aside from that, it's a great look for her. Not maybe is facing serious jail time.
So Stacey's like, well, I pushed the button already. Well, I'm pushing it too.
I'm pushing the button.

No, I'm pushing the button. No, I'm pushing the button.
I'm pushing it. I'm pushing it.

I'm pushing it.

So Giselle's like, I don't like what I've heard and I need to marinate on it. Like, okay.

So you could also just stop talking about it and let Stacy do her own thing at the party and you can marinate later tonight, but that's fine. Yeah.
So Stacy and Jazzy get in the elevator and leave.

And meanwhile, Angel goes to Bobby, who's just like sitting there being hot, you know, and she's like, well, I told I was going to say something to her. And she was nasty.
And she was dismissive.

She was not nasty. She was dismissive, but I mean.

She was not nasty. She was dismissive with,

and we, according to Ben and Ronnie, say,

you know, we rule in favor of the dismissive. Yeah.
I love that. We dismiss you and we are, we sustain the dismissiveness.
Yeah, sustained. Exactly.
So Bobby goes,

sustained. Water, Bobby goes, water off the duck back, mama.

I'm sorry. Was that dismissive? That was dismissive.
That's dismissive. He's kind of like, you need to stop.

He's like, remember when I told you last episode when I crossed my legs for America, you need to just chill out? Well, I'm saying it to you again. Water off a duck's back.
Yeah.

So now they're doing more cheers to Giselle's 10 million.

And then it's time to catch up with the ladies. The party's over.
So Stacey is with, Harold Powell.

We're going to make some pizza. She's like, like, do you want pepperoni or would you like my favorite flavor? You are alone enough.
You have nothing to prove to anybody. God, I love that topping.

I was so proud of you, baby. You did so well.
The first race that you won. How did you feel? Like, did you know that you were that much ahead of the other people? She's like, yeah.

Sure did. So then Timo joins them and Arabella's like, I literally tried my hardest, but we were only a second away.
Oh, that's too bad. It's so funny.

I remember when I was your age, I always won all of my swim meets. Oh, well, okay, Timo, welcome back to the pizza party.

Yes, you know, as a father, there's one thing I would like to say about losing. You know, you lost only by one second, okay?

But still, you lose. Well, wait a second.
That's not really a quote that we go by in this house. No, it's a Timo quote.
But still, you lose.

This is what we say in Germany. Kloss, but no schnitzel.

Meier schnitzel.

My schnitzelu says, still you lose.

Still you lose. My schnitzelup.
So

Timo is like, it was pretty close. Who wants to give me a shovel? I would like shovel.
Now is the time for shovel. It's like what? Pizza shovel.
It is time for pizza shovel.

Oh, oh, you mean the paddle. Whatever it is called.
Give me pizza shovel.

The pizza shovel? Isn't that sexy? Oh,

so he

slaps her butt with the pizza paddle thing. thing and she's like, oh, you helped your father with taking that outside.
Bella, take the, set the table, please.

And she's like, thank God I have people who love me and support me.

As I walked out of that party and out of that negativity, I'm walking into everything that sustains me as a mother and a wife at home.

I found that among its other business, its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.

No time for poetry. Time for pizza shovel.
Okay, well, Arabella, get in here. It's time for pizza shovel.
So Arabella comes in. She's like, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.

Now is the time to stop talking about pizza. Now is the time to eat about pizza.
So they sit down and

Stacey's like, I am thinking about pizza night back at home with my husband and not on a date with anybody else's husband. Okay.

So she's talking about Timo and how they're not putting labels on anything because we don't want to confuse Arabella.

So we don't, we don't want, we just told her we got a divorce. We can't just be like, we're back together.
So we just make pizza shovel jokes at each other and giggle.

We just make pizza with pale crusts and serve them to her and say, this is real pizza. And she says, why is it in the shape of a kid's drawing of a house? And we say, no, that's a circle.

And she goes, no, it's a house. We say it's a circle.
We just gaslight her until she believes that everything's okay. And she'll never watch television or ever find out about this situation.
Woo.

Well, I've got a lot of things coming up up this week for Shio, mommy's gummies, Arabella.

So I've got meet and greets where I actually go to dispensaries and I meet people that are trying shi-o and eating Snickers bars off the back of their hands for some reason.

Or one time I saw a guy eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar.

What do you think about this, Arabella? Arabella's like, yeah, I think it's cool that you have a gummy bear brand.

And they laugh and she's like, Arabella doesn't necessarily understand cannabis, but she understands that mommy has a line of gummies that are helping people feel happy and joyous.

So what we like to do is we like to present information to Arabella and then lie about it right away. So she's at maximum confusion when the truth comes out later in her life.

Now we go to Ashley and her boys and she's like, oh, you saw a bunny in the house? Was it a bunny or a bug? Oh, I hope you took the bug outside. You know, we don't kill bugs around here.

She's like, I would never kill a bug, mother. Don't you worry about it.

i sit that bug off the kitchen counter and put it on the floor and i said you're not allowed up here this this space is for children only

so then at so mimi comes over aka sheila aka ashley's mom and the kids are like keyboard keyboard keyboard so i thought this was funny to me i don't know if you had this thought but like Ashley has this very nice little kind of keyboard situation for the kids and has like a TV screen attached where you can like learn lessons.

So, Dylan goes and he sits at this keyboard and he puts his hands out on it.

I was like, oh my goodness, is I literally thought for a moment, like, this kid's been taking like little childlike lessons, and he may actually be,

I thought he was going to play something really good. And he's like,

something like Moonlight Sonating out. But no, it's like he said,

which makes a lot of sense with Ashley's, you know, intonation problems.

Yeah, I'm probably her cottonist.

And she's trying to get him to play

loving and surviving, whatever's gone. Healing it, I'm thriving, not just surviving.

It actually made the song better.

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So now, Sheila and Ashley, she's like, I'm so proud of you

that it's called Master Musicianship, Mummy. Now please, retire to the other room so you and Mummy's wig can talk about her terrible, useless man.
Like, okay.

So, mommy, will you be singing me a song? What type of song? I don't know. A song for the piano man.
That's who I am, mummy.

Oh, okay.

I'd like to sing you, I would like to play you a wonderful Elton Johns tune called Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me. Are you ready? Ready? Yes.
Wrong, quon, quonk, quonk, quon.

All right, we're going outside, honey.

Before you do that, I'd like to dedicate this

moment from Mozart to you. Are you ready for a lovely bit of classical music? Yes.
All right.

Okay, we're going outside now. So they go out and Sheila's like, okay, so I'm so proud of you, honey.
Oh, wow. Look at your house.
Everything looks so good. Please don't cut me off.

Like, Sheila always comes over with that voice, like, please, honey, please, I'll do whatever you want, honey.

Your piano sounds great. The kids are doing great.
Your house is so clean. The yard looks so nice.
Please don't cut me off.

I know. And now she's like, well, I was talking to Uncle Lump the other day.
And like, you know, Uncle Lump was like, you just got to let Josh go. And so I let Josh go.

And we see a flashback of Uncle Lump. And I was like, you know what? I think it's time.
We need to do something for Uncle Lump.

He's been doling out good advice for these two ding-dongs for over 10 years on this show. And no one listens to him.
Every single year, he's like, you got to leave Michael Darby.

You got to leave Josh. You got to leave your boyfriend, Sheila.
You got to do this. You got to do that.
And they're like, okay, Uncle Lump, great, great advice. And then they go do the opposite thing.

This poor man, he has to sit there every single season and just say the things that we are saying every single time, knowing that they're never going to pay attention to anything he says. Poor guy.

Yeah. And so she's like, well, why do you want to get rid of Josh, honey? And she's like, well, you know, I just feel like we need to be realistic.

I mean, I don't want more kids and marriage would be a plus because I've, you know, I've done that already. So I don't need it.
But he hasn't even been married or have kids. What a loser.

Yeah. And we see flashbacks, Uncle Lump being like, yeah, you know, like, don't, you got to let him go.
But then she also says that.

By the way, Uncle Lump also said that, um, you know, like you i have to start respecting what you're gonna do too and you see uncle lump saying like

ashley like you have to give your mom the liberty to live the life that she wants to she may be happy as you know a pig and shit like you just have to move on which i'm sure he's told her probably like a million times because he like at this point like it sounds like like sheila's boyfriend is he sounds like a total deadbeat it sounds like and he sounds like he has some issues that are really affecting sheila's life it's really sad what's going on but at a certain point you just have to let people live their lives and and like it's like you just have to, just, you have to let it go, Ashley.

Your mom's not leaving this guy. It's been 20 years.
23 is 23 years.

It's like, oh, my God, this guy's such a loser. My mom's never going to leave the guy.
Well, Ashley, you fumbled her bag, you know?

You got rid of Darby. Like, what are you going to do?

You got to replace one. In order for your mother to get over this one, you need to get under another one, okay, with a lot of money.
So don't be this

and make it happen.

You know, the thing is this i'm maybe maybe if someone else told this to sheila she would listen but i'm just not sure she's gonna take advice from the from the person who married michael darby then was with josh and then was chose what's his face from love hotel ralph i mean like ashley your picker is not so great yourself yeah you know i feel for sheila but you can only feel so much i mean it's been years i mean and it's been 23 for ashley you know but even for me for this 10 i'm like oh god just who cares?

Like,

what are you going to do?

I have to say, to quote, to quote a great song from the 80s, Oshila.

So, um,

could you play that kid? Sure. Hold on, please.
All you ready?

Oh, Sheila. So now we go over to Wendy, who is arriving at Jazzy's house, and Darius is cooking for them.
So sexy.

Sexy cooking. So Jazzy's like, I brought out the good stuff for you guys, girl.
And so she's like, Jazzy's like, okay, guys, well, I hope you're hungry because Darius has something else in the oven.

Oh, I'm sorry. No pen intent.
I didn't mean to do that. It's not my oven.

It's not my oven. Something was formed in another oven during the course of our relationship.
It was pre-existing. Something pre-existing in the oven.
Yeah.

I was distracted in the scene because Jazzy put out a nice little spread, but she had this like plate of shrimp cocktail that she put on like an armrest in between two sections of her sofa.

And that really, I couldn't stop looking at that. That like kind of stressed me out.

Like, first of all, it just seems like a weird place to put shrimp cocktail in general, but also everything is gleamingly white or beige or cream in there.

And you're going to put this shrimp, this dippable shrimp with a bright red cocktail sauce, like dangling like on a plateau between the two seating areas of your sofa it just felt like no jazzy jazzy don't do that those shrimp didn't look good and i don't know what it was about the shrimp like they looked very precariously placed on the rim of that cup i just felt bad for the shrimp they looked like they were threatening something i was like don't jump don't jump you have so much to live for i was worried for the shrimp i wanted them to be larger i wanted them to be larger and i was gonna say that they just didn't look right.

But then we then went later on to Angel's Spread and that really made Jazzies look like, you know, Martha Stewart went in there. So those shrimp just look like raggedy.

You know how shrimp sometimes they look like they're torn, like they're, they're kind of too torn up. They just maybe overboiled.

Yeah, something, something looked wrong with those shrimp, but they were there. And so they were there.
There were shrimp there. And so this is a Stacey, Wendy, and Jazzy meetup.

And then the other girls are having like kind of a a meaner girl meetup.

Yeah, but so Jazzy's like, I literally hated to see my girl all over the place at the event because, baby, at the end of the day, I want my girl to know I miss her and I'm grateful that she came to the wedding.

And since we didn't really get to shoot too much in the wedding, we can pretend that this is kind of the wedding, also, right, guys?

I just want to mention that I got married since Bravo doesn't seem to pay attention to it whatsoever. I'll wear a wedding dress in the confessional.
I don't care. I will do that.

Can we please get another wedding shot? So we see a shot of Stacey coming into the wedding and saying, saying, hi.

Congratulations.

So Wendy's like, oh,

that sounds like your girl knocking like that. You know, she'd be knocking like she's from the FBI.

You would know. Yeah, because it's Stacy.

Yeah.

So because of Stacey's knocking. So Jazzy's saying, I'm always banking on the beautiful side that I've gotten to see of Stacy.
What is it? Guilty until, no, innocent until proven guilty.

So I don't know what you did or what you didn't do, but I'm here to support you, Stacy girl. Also, I'm just happy to find someone who will shoot with me so I can be on the TV show.
Yeah.

So she also got shrimp for her because she's pescatarian. So that is the raggedy ass shrimp.
That's the low effort shrimp that was left out. Low effort.

No, but it will get low, low, lower efforter at Angel's place. I like that Stacey goes, the shrimp of it all.

That's what I'm going to say when I walk into a room. Oh, the shrimp of it all.

So now they start talking about Stacy's like, well, can we talk about what happened after Giselle's event? I mean, what happened after I left?

And when it's like, oh, can we talk about what happened while you were at the event, while you were at the event? Let's talk about that.

And Jazzy's like, can we talk about what happened before the event? How about like, how about five seconds after the event? Which timeframe do we want to discuss?

Can we just talk about events in general? I love them.

Do you guys have pizza shovels? So then

now we cut over to Angels. So Angel has put out a spread that's like very supermarket coated.
Like she has the supermarket cookies, which no snobbery.

Those cookies are delicious, but she has supermarket cookies. She has the supermarket tray of cubed fruit and the supermarket tray of cubed cheese.

And then she also has the supermarket shrimp cocktail, which is smaller and sadder than

than what Jazzy put out. And also it was like, really what we saw were like cookies and shrimp.
And I was like, this is a, I don't know if I love this, this combo right now.

I mean, I love shrimp cocktail. I love cookies, but I don't know if I want cookies and shrimp to be like my main offerings.

Yeah, we're all not home making things for our like little charcuterie things when the girls come over, but there's a better way to do it. Like,

let's have some art in this. You know what I mean? Go to the buffet section and like get little containers of things and then place them beautifully.

Like, why are you just unwrapping cookies from the store and throwing them on a dish? That's

yeah, like we see you. This is a Bravo audience.
You're going to have to like really up your game here. Okay.
Go to Whole Foods. Like stop, stop going to Albertson's for this.

You need to go to like something nicer. Go to Whole Foods.
Go to like, if you have a,

I don't know what the nice ones are out there in Potomac, but go there. Have them just do it for you.
But like, you're a wag and you're on Bravo. Like you have to do better than this, Brad.

I'm sorry, Angel. And this has nothing to do with my feelings about you as a cast member, which doesn't help.
Relatively low. It doesn't help, though.
Yeah. It doesn't help.

So Angel's like, I have an announcement, everybody. I think I found the house that I'm going to buy.
Wow. Isn't that great? Everyone's like, oh, great.
Well, rich lady's getting a house.

Congratulations. And she's like, oh, it's so move-in ready.
And that's a big difference. Yeah.
It has nine bedrooms, nine. It's a little big, but we can deal with that.
God. It's a big enough.

I have a filter room. It's just a big room full of Vaseline.
I just take all my pictures in there. It's great.

We're going to put in each bedroom, we're going to put a W-A or a G. So it'll say wag, wag, wag, because there's nine bedrooms.
So that's nine letters. It's going to be great.

and she's like someone asked where her kids are at and she's like hold on let me get my binoculars oh it's just that this property is just so vast hold on let me see if i can see them oh i can't see them oh stop acting like you live in yellowstone national park for christ's sake I know.

Pull out binoculars to try to find Bobby down by the river. She just wants to like,

she wants to just brag again that she lives by the river. He must be down by the river, which we all care about.
I'm by the river, guys.

So they talk about the house a little bit while everybody gathers and Tia's like, oh, he sounds fascinating, doesn't he, Giselle? You should have him on your podcast.

And she goes, everybody wants to be on my podcast.

One thing Stacy's going to do is try to bring the group together.

She's going to bring the group together because we trauma bond over Stacy. So when we get together, trash Stacy, it's a kiki.

So she goes, so Giselle starts saying about, oh, the party was, oh, it was a 10 million party, you know, for our listens. And everyone rose to the occasion.
There was only one Cheeto that came. Ma.

Such a big deal the co-host didn't show up. Huge, huge deal.

Huge, huge deal.

So they're making fun of Stacey's dress. And Giselle's like, yeah, she's the kind of woman you cannot trust.
Ah.

And he is like, yeah,

she has just made this tangle web that we're in right now, which is so unnecessary. It's like, spider- not it's not the kiss of a spider-woman, more like the lies of a spider-woman.

So then we go back to Jazzy's, and Stacey's like, I don't understand why Kay was screaming at me over something that she heard from someone else, and I wasn't even given an opportunity to explain myself.

When it comes to Stacy, Kay hypes up, do you hear me? Do you hear me?

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.

So, and she's right. Kierna, the only time Kierna gets excited is when she goes after Stacy.

So, Angel, back at Angel's, Giselle's like, well, Kierna, I just saw you and you were like, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da. And she's like, yeah, I don't know why.

Just like when it comes to me, like, Stacy, like, mustered up all over Detroit, all over her hood. It's like, no, because you're always coming for her.

Like, you are, oh, Stacey is always just kind of like, oh, Arabella. And then you say something to her.
So she defends herself literally every single time.

yeah and so then we go back to jazzies and Stacey's like oh do you guys think that Kay is trying to have moments with me and then we see flashes of the season and everyone is Kay trying to come for her for no reason and Wendy says I think you are her favorite toy in the toy box

Well, that means a lot to me because to be the favorite toy, I mean, that will sell really well on QVC.

Zelle is like, what super bothers me about it is because y'all didn't know Monique when she was with her husband.

And to see her be able to sit down knowing what they have gone and divorce and talking about it, it was just like refreshing to hear her story.

I mean, Giselle, Giselle suddenly leaning into this like, ugh. How special to finally hear from Monique as if she wasn't one of the people who drove her off the show.

And as if she didn't rip down Monique every second that Monique was on screen. Four years, four years.
Every single season, Giselle was coming for Monique and trying to rip her down.

Right from the very beginning, she didn't like that she had such a big house and that she was so braggadocious and all of that other shit. So shut up, Giselle.

Giselle's like, me, as Monique's biggest supporter, ah, even the bodyguard I was using to hold Monique back from murdering me agreed that Monique was very, very raw. Wah.

Yeah, I mean, I think she's trying to now recast it all by being like, oh, well, that was not the real Monique because that was the unhappy Monique who was with Chris.

And now we're getting the real Monique. And now she's being authentic.
So therefore, I love her.

Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.
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