#3104 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills S15E01 Part 2 : Here We Zoe Again

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap.

If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there.
And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap. So Kyle's going to have a celebration of summer at my house.

Strawberry Moon. And she's like, Dorit's going to be there.
Okay. So I know this is a weird question, Sutton, but I'm just coming in here to torture you with names you don't want to hear.
Okay.

So I've already said Avi and I've already said Garcelle. So let's get to Dorit.
She's like, have I talked to Dorit?

No. I've not talked to Dreet.
Okay.

Well, you know that they filed for divorce, right? That she filed. She's getting divorced.
She's basically like almost as bad as you with your annulment. Did I say that? Whoops.
Sorry.

Oh, so she's the one who filed. Hmm.
That's interesting.

So Kyle does, no, we've had our ups and downs at times, but last year was like a new low. And we see them screaming at each other.

And she's like, I just think that like we spend more, when we spend, until we spend more time together, it's just going to be a work in progress. I'm like, you're the problem.

You're the one who's icing out your friend and acting like they're doing up a friendship. And then you complain to Doreen, like, you're the bad friend in this situation.

Stop acting like it's a force of nature. You have to change your behavior.
And Erica goes, Yeah, he's going to be hard on her. You know, the boss is hard on people.

Yeah, says the lady who won't go see her dying husband in the fucking jail or old folks' home or wherever the hell he is now.

So then, so then Reba weighs in on PK. She goes, Well, there's no question that's a loser.

Meanwhile, Kathy has pulled out full-size scissors and is trying to cut something off of her hat. And Kyle's like, Kathy, you're going to cut your finger.

So I thought that PK took that picture at the valet at a spot. That's just my opinion.
And he's going to be hard on her. He's going to be.
He's going to be hard on her.

Get pokey. Because Gombi's here.
Okay. It's going to be hard.

Well, like, not to defend PK,

but I don't think he knew that picture was being taken. Like, you're literally defending PK right now.
Don't say not to defend PK and then give a blatant defense.

If you don't talk to this guy, if you claim you don't talk to him, then why are you going out of your way to explain the photo? Just be like, yeah, that's fucked up.

Yeah, a lady who doesn't talk to PK and has never heard him say that he didn't know that he was getting that picture taken. And Reef is like, well, I'm cool.
I'm sorry.

Like, PK's whole thing is like marketing, right? He's like a manager, but he like, you know, he's about like positioning, brand positioning, Beverly Beach, all those things.

He knows where the paps are he knows about photography he knows what's going to get go where this was a hot he

can't play smart and stupid can't be it yeah i can't believe somebody would take my picture outside of craigs you know it's like one of those i don't know where they were but you know it's one of those where there's paparazzi just standing outside uh so um riba's like i wouldn't kiss him i'll tell you that much i find him very unattractive oh really i'm sure pk is hiding his boner every time he he comes around you, too.

But that shit was funny.

I love Reba's like ugly shaming PK. It was so good.

I don't care what year it is. I still reserve the right to ugly shame.
It sounds like, well, my mom and I don't agree on everything, but we do agree on that.

Now, Kyle, I don't want to be bothersome, but do you still talk to PK?

She's like, um,

PK? Um, uh, no, definitely not. Oh, this is a delicious salad.
Let me just cut this. She has like guilt salad cutting.
She just starts cutting lettuce in front of her.

It's like, Kyle, that's no chill. She's like, what? PK?

What's PK, huh?

So you're saying that you severed ties. Have you gotten the Catholic Church involved?

So.

Yeah.

Erica, tell us more about your show you did in London. Yeah.

Literally nobody believes her. So we go back over to Rachel's house and she's making bacon.
I don't know why it's the funniest way to make bacon.

It's just how separated all the bacon are and they're all perfectly aligned with each other. I don't know.
There was something about it that I was just cracking up at. Kaius.

Kaius. Hey, Kai.
Kai.

Kaius. Kai.

Kaius. What? Once a breakfast.
Once a breakfast. Yeah.
Yeah. Because I made breakfast.
I made eggs. I made three eggs and three bacons.
Eat it. It's so good.
You like it? This kid, does someone? Okay.

No judgments on this kid. Seems like very nice, very nice young man.
Someone teach him to chew with his mouth closed. Please, you're close.

Close your mouth. Please.

Please do this. I know, like in a divorce, people want to not come down hard on their kids because it's a tough time.
But could someone just please, just like, just one quick instructional lesson?

Because this kid is talking and the food is, I mean, this is, he makes Austin literally look like he's in Downton Abbey.

I was going to say, it's like watching, it's like watching a man on Southern Charmie. You know, just food.
Shepher Austin eating. Jeez.
It's not a judgment on his personality or how he was raised.

I'm just saying, just let's, let's, let's, let's like, let's infuse that lesson into Tyler. We're not saying his name is stupid.

Okay, so Rachel's like, yeah, when I first separated from Roger with the D, like it was brutal. It was like brutal, brutal, like totally brutal, death brutal.
It was like dying brutal.

But I used to come home to an empty house. Go ahead.
Go ahead, man.

No, I was just going to say, it was like when I watched that feature film that was not made for Oscars called The Brutalist, I was like, oh my God, it's about Raj. It was actually about architecture.

But I was like, it kind of was about Raj at the same time. Yeah.
I would come home to an empty house and like it would be sad, but now it's happy. Look how happy I am.
Hold on.

Do I look happy right now? Am I smiling?

I can't feel my face.

Is my mouth smiling? Yes or no? Don't lie to me. You're lying to me.
Yes, you are. Cause I'm smiling.
I'm smiling huge.

The smile is gorge. You have have to admit it.
Yeah. My relationship with my ex now, like, there were reasons our relationship was strained.

Mainly it's because he really hated pulp and his orange juice. He always like, strain it.
I was like, I don't know how to do that. He's like, just do it.
And I like wouldn't do it. And he got mad.

It was brutal. It was a brutal strain.
I think our greatest regret was like working together. Show clips of him right now.
Show clips of what a monster Roger was. And so we see clips of Roger.

And Roger's like, okay, guys, so I think that we should, you know, like make a viral video that like goes viral. That would be really cool.
She goes, um, making a viral video that goes viral.

And she like laughs.

And then what the best part is, our sweet, wonderful friend, Amy Phillips is right next to her because this was the time when Amy Phillips, the way she like broke through is that she was doing impersonations of Rachel Zoe.

And Rachel Zoe loved it so much. She's like, that's like hilarious.
Let's have like Amy like come in and like do me. I will do like a video.
I'll make her viral.

And so like, so Rachel cries his jokes. So Rachel laughs.
And then Amy laughs. And you see Amy laughing, and Roger gets mad.

And then Roger has this like flip out where he's like, No, you don't understand the crap I'm dealing with. And it cuts like everyone around the table, giving eyes, like, oh my God, including Amy.

Amy's like,

I just died. I died.
He throws a pen or something. I didn't even realize that was Amy.
Oh, my God.

That was like Amy's breakthrough moment. And I was just cracking up that they were like, just to show how brutal Raj was, look at Amy Phillips' face.
He threw a pen at Amy Phillips.

That's why Amy Phillips still has a big pen hanging out of her temple. I've always wondered.
I was so proud of her getting into a flashback on Beverly Hills, the premiere day.

Rest of Rachel Zoe.

So she's like, yeah, lines got crossed. And this person I was with like my entire adult life was unrecognizable.
And that person didn't feel right around me or my kids. Hold on.
I'm going to cry.

I'm crying, right?

Yes, I am.

I'm crying.

Shut up. I'm crying.
Like, I'm seriously crying. Not here.
Like, wait, but this is just dying. I'm gorge.
My audience is dead. My tears is light.
R.I.P. audience.
Oh, my God. I'm branding my tear.

I'm selling wet here in Target. My face is wet.
I feel tear. It's amazing.
It's so much wet. So much wet.
It's like, actually, like, I don't know. I don't even recognize my whiteness.
My face. Brutal.

So she's got such a weird energy here with her kid. She goes, so, like, you're with your dad until Saturday.
Is that okay?

And he's like, yeah.

Yeah, as long as you come in the morning.

Yeah, how are you with you and dad? He's like, um, you know, like, most horses are rough,

but like, Muggin's pretty good. I like him.
She says, um, you like him? Yeah, like, he's my dad.

She's like, yeah.

I think they wonder why he sometimes like says the things he does or like says or does things that he says or does things that he doesn't say or says things that he doesn't do or like just talks about things and like he acts like things and he does things it's like brutal what he does wild or like how he spends more time with his girl than he does the kids maybe that

that's uh

they give her they do her rachel's oats it goes saurs like so you like any girls i'm like Excuse me, Rachel, you work in fashion. Can we open it up? Or boys? Hello?

Do we have to be so heteronormative on caius do you like any people

he's like no my hormones haven't kicked in yet

well roger's had the same girl for a year and the kids have known for 10 months

and the producer's like wait a minute that means that he got a girlfriend right after you guys separated she goes um i'll let you do the math

literally do the math because i can't do math i literally can't remember like i literally don't i can't can't, like, carry the one. Like, I don't know.
Remainders. Don't get it.

Like, you do the math and then just let me know how long that was. You want to hear the quote of the day? Real love isn't easy and easy love isn't real.

Oh, my God.

Caius, Caius, I feel like you're like 40. That quote was like a lot.

He's like 40.

Why did that get a ts? That was funny. I feel like you're like,

Because you're not allowed to actually say someone's age after 39 on this show.

So now we go to Erica and Bose, those close girlfriends, at dinner. Yeah.
They're at a restaurant called

ADKT.

What do you like to call it?

So

hey, girlfriend.

I see you, boo. Got your chesticles out.
Yes, I certainly do. You know what's interesting about life?

I got the offer to do Marty Hoopla, and then 10 minutes before I go out to a huge crowd, my phone blows up, and Tom was being sentenced to prison. Wow, it's like that song.

Lightning crashes and old letter dies. Except it was Tom going to prison.
Know what I'm saying?

I got a video of him leaving the courthouse. He was just, ooh,

so vacant. I was like, wow, really? Because those are the reviews I read of you at Hoopla.

And she's like, yeah, the man I was married to. Never in my life did I think I would be sitting there married to someone going to prison.

Never before.

Never once when I was at dancing at Hoo-Haas in New Jersey did I ever think I'd be marry a guy to go to prison. But anyway,

Tom's story. Last time I was married to a guy I thought I was going to a prison, it was the guy who owned the place that I was dancing at, but it turned out to be the old one.
Hulu.

Obviously, Tom's story is ended, but my story is ongoing and there's a part of me that thinks i would like to say goodbye but what would that do what would that do your husband is old and dying in prison go say goodbye what the is wrong with you like i'm sorry tom is a monster i'm not even gonna stick up for tom tom's a horrible human being and he's getting what he deserves but that man stole millions of dollars and put you in gay bars in grease get over there and say goodbye

no she's too busy like framing herself as a a Natasha Bettingfield song. She's like, well, his story is over, but the rest is still unwritten for me.

That is so bizarre.

That man pulled favors to get the Secret Service to arrest your gay designers because you didn't want to pay them and you wanted to accuse them of all that American Express fraud. I see you.

Go say goodbye to your husband, ma'am.

Well, at the same time,

he knows the game. You know,

also a star is born. You know,

you give them the cash, you do the things, they become a star, and you let the bird fly, let the mouse go. Yeah.
So, Bo's like, do you feel relief that it's over?

She's like, well, you don't just shake shit off like that.

Actually, I literally did shake shit like off that. I was a hoodlum hoodlies.
What is the thing? Hoopla. Hoopla.
And Bose is like, well, this is why we need to get busy. I saw those rumors, girl.

And we see the rumors. Erica Jane Jane hooks up with much younger Bravo star.
Do you know who this is?

No, is it Joe Bradley? No, I always guess it's Joe Bradley. You know who it is? Yeah, I know who it is.
Okay,

much younger Bravo star. I probably knew this at one point, so it's not Joe Bradley.
I'll give you a hint. His mouth is always open.

Austin,

close. He's also a singer,

Jesse from Summer House.

Jesse? Oh, oh, oh,

oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Okay. I know, I guess you can't, they can't all be Joe Bradley.
You know what I'm saying? So, wow, congrats. And she's like, well, the truth is I met somebody and I was very afflicted.

And nothing happened?

Well, nothing was real happened.

Well, that can mean a lot of different things.

All right, the record is don't worry about

it. Don't worry about it.

All you need to know is I'm dating a man now named Shrek who loves

putting people in jail, whatever he does.

Now it's called the Sheriff of Baghdad. What is he called? I think it's a dark Baghdad or something.
I don't know. I don't know.

Something like that. I'm into a guy right now with a hairy back and a red hat on at all times.
And it is sexy.

He's basically like alternate Ralph from Love Hotel. So Erica's like, well, maybe something happened.
Yeah, I'm sexy and sassy. Okay, let's talk about the other girls.
That's why we're here.

So let's gossip. You start.
Well, guess what? I was at Sutton's and a mother was there. Just imagine that.
Did she talk about Avi? Hmm?

She did.

What happened, Avi? What happened?

Well, let's see a flashback of her saying nothing. She said nothing about it.
So

Sudden actually elaborates more and she says, well, you know, communication is important. And without communication, it's not going to work.

And Reba goes, well, it's not like Arvi was ever at a loss for words.

So

you give them the route to marry, and suddenly they chatter and chatter and chatter.

And she's like, oh, look at Sutton watching all her close relationships disintegrate like that. She's like, it's wild.
Wild, I'll tell you.

Yeah, she had so much vitriol at certain moments, but then we get to the reunion and she's a little church mouse. I can't trust someone like that.
I want all vitriol all the time.

Well, we don't like our inconsistencies. Be who you are.
Here's the truth. You know what? I hate.
I hate someone who's really inconsistent. Like, what are you?

Some buttoned-up, conservative housewife and passadino, you a sex kitten on a stage somewhere. I hate inconsistencies.

Here's the truth. Sutton has had very few friends in this group right now and it's her turn to show us who she is and be consistent and be alone.

So

Bose is like, well, Sutton has lost a few friends, so she's probably re-evaluating how she interacts with people in the group so she doesn't lose them, because basically we're going to steamroll over her.

Ta-da!

Already said, will the real Slim Sutton please stand up? Well, I don't know if I'd use the word Slim. She's a box.

I like that Erica. Well, aside from the fact that it's super shady, no pun intended, I feel like Erica doesn't even get the reference.
Well,

that's a funny, funny choice to say Slim Shady. Why not call her Boxy Shady? No, there's Slim Shady is a.
Okay, so there's someone in Eminem. You mean like candy? You know what? Never mind.

Let's just go back to ordering food at Atak.

so then we go to rachel it's very rachel heavy this episode yeah

so we go to rach lean into their their new star you know yeah we get that violin music again bose is getting ready and she's talking to her hair people and she's like i think with my straight hair and that gold outfit i look too much like share just like a spitting image

like oh my god not share but share is my girl oh my god i love share but sometimes i don't like share i don't like share that much either i mean but i do like that one song i love that one song do you know what song i'm talking about yes the song i'm talking about is do you believe no if i could turn back time if i could turn back time i would have said if i could turn back time yes

so sudden's getting glam and she's on the phone with kyle and uh talking about being empty nesters now

and kyle's like how do you feel about sing dore

every time i see you i'm just gonna say the name of somebody that hates you

Well, I don't hold on to things. If she has a problem with me, she can talk to me.
I definitely do not hold on to things. Can you believe my marriage was annulled?

Anyway, I don't hold on to things.

Yeah, that's Sutton, just easy going Sutton there.

So we're hoping we can work this out. So then Kyle has her friend Jen over.
And guess what? Kyle is serving lots of salmon. Kyle loves that salmon, man.

Yeah, well, you know, I am kind of an expert in the kitchen. Salmon and tortillas.

Pam salmon.

So

she is looking over the ground. She's got crafters to make your own flower crown, a very elisive anter pump, I might add.

And she's like, Yeah, these days you can't have people over. You have to have activities, you know.
This way, the girls don't have to interact if they don't want to.

Yeah,

it's just what we want to see on the show: the cast not interacting with each other. Thanks a lot, Kyle.

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Do not stay calm. Push people out of the way.

So people start coming in and we see Faye Resnick. Faye, morally corrupt Faye Resnick still hanging on.
And she's with some lady named Anna who looks,

I don't know, like she's maybe from death becomes her, like maybe she's falling apart. Like she's walking kind of funny.
And like maybe she just sewed her leg back on. I don't know.

And Kyle's like, oh my god, is that Dorit?

Yeah. Kyle's like, is that Dorit? She said, she thinks it's Dorit because, you know, everyone on the show is slowly merging into the same face because it's, it is the Beverly Hills composite.

Like it could be Linda.

What was her name again? Linda Elvis's ex. You know, it could be Linda Thompson.
Linda, it could be Linda Thompson. I'm just going to like pyramid this one through.
It's she's an ex of Elvis.

She used to be, she's Brodie Jenner's mom. Her name is Linda, Linda, Linda Thompson.
But they all do kind of have the same face. So eventually you're like, is that Darit?

Is that Darit? Is that Carlton? It's Camille. It's Camille.
No, it's Linda. It's Taylor.

It's just, I looked at it different. I thought it was like clearly the lady from a nightmare before Christmas who's always having to sew back on her arm or whatever part of her body breaks off.

And Kyle can see that. And it's like, oh my God, is that Darit? I was like, you are so shady, you know? Leave Dorit alone.
So Dorit then does come and Kyle's like, like, is that Dorit?

Oh, hey, Dorit, we couldn't see. We thought that lady was Dorit.
And she's like, ooh, who's that non-Alec Champagne who coming back to the dark side with us, you boring bitch?

I think it was actually both cases because I think it is sort of like the composite face, but she also knows that like

this woman is like not as glamorous and as attractive. I'm not saying with any shade to this lady, but like, you know, Dorit is like.

Dorit looks the way Dorit looks and Dorit is happy with the way she looks. And when Kyle says, I thought you were her, her, that it is a dig at the same time.

Yeah, she knows Dorit's not coming in with Faye. Give me a break.
Yeah.

So

then we see Keely in the car with Bose

and

Keely's like, hey, who's coming? Are any guys coming to this thing? And Bose goes, oh, you want the girls to bring their guys? Well, too bad, because they don't have them.

He's like, great. Can't wait to make flower crowns by myself.
I am so ready to move forward with Keely. I want to find a house together.
I want to get engaged. The clock is ticking.

TikTok, tick, tick, tick, tick, tock. Oh, my God.
Are you singing Kesha? I love when she sings TikTok. That's such a good song of hers.

So Bose comes in, and Kyle's like, hello, how are you?

So fake to Bose. And Bose does not like Kyle.
Kyle does not like Bose. They both don't like each other.
And Kyle is so fake to her. And Kyle's trying to be so upbeat.

She's like, oh, my God, tell me about the ring. Oh, my God.
Are you guys getting married? Are you having having a baby? What's going on with you?

I'm really looking forward to getting to know Bose more because like whatever was clouding our relationship will be cleared and that thing of course was Dorit. So yeah,

the battle for Bose starts now.

I thought Kyle was pretty cold and closed off. And if she opens up and reaches out, I'll be her friend.
And if not, I'll be her acquaintance.

And if she calls me up and says, you want to play tennis, then I'll be her tennis buddy. And if she says, should we go get the cars washed?

I'll be her friend that knows about car washes i mean there's so many different directions our friendship could go in if you really think about it so carl says they're still waiting for dorit to show up and doreet's like suitin' oh dorit dorit she says they're waiting for sudden to show up and doreit's like sudden who

suddenly i'd never heard of a lady named sudan before and boom

where's the tissue

so then so then dorit's like well i got everything i need to get out with sudden everything there's nothing left to say so i can still be around her and be cordial. But I don't need to fight with her.

I don't need to go there tonight with Sutton. But if she takes it there, I really goofy.

Well, she doesn't have Garcelle or Avi, so have at her girls.

Yeah, I think she's real confused without those two crutches around all.

So Sutton arrives, and Erica's like, wait with this, talk about you, yo, saga-bones, go.

Oh, I guess your mom didn't make it, so you're extra exposed. Okay, everyone, hit her in the soft underside.

Were your ears burning, just like your soul will be now

that you're unmarried and stuck with children?

Sorry, I almost tripped on my dress. I'm not used to walking on such mangy lawns.

Well,

who says it? Someone goes, oh, Doreen goes, well, at least you're on two feet.

Yeah, because Sun does. No, because Sun normally has like a broken foot or something.

It's like, what the hell?

I don't think it was about being drunk, although it would have been funny if it were.

So they're talking about Keely. Oh, Keely is so warm.
Oh, my God. Keely is so warm.
Look, he's making flower crowns there by himself. That's so nice.
He's so nice.

Good people make flower crowns by themselves. Yeah.

So Tariq's like, Son, I'm sorry to hear. Quail and Ika were updating us about the annulment with Christian.

Should I be calling you Saturn Brown now? Is that what you'd like? It's almost like a UPS commercials. What can Brown do for you? That's like me asking you to do something for me.

Does that you follow? It's like, yes, yes, that's right. That's right, Dorit.
Yes. Well, what can you do about it, Rat? Look, I'm so easygoing.
What can you do?

Here's what you do. You wash your cards, some short shorts, and still light outs, and you have a better fucking life.
That's what you do, girl.

You know what, Dorit? We can shake on it this won't be awkward at all let's shake on those awful men first wives club am I right she's like no I'm not going to touch your hand

I'm shaking you want to shake my hand Dorit it's

it's a wealthy hand

well I don't want that to tune

Oh, it's not. I've got arthritis.

Well, it's like, ooh, you know, here's how it goes with sudden.

You have my word you have my word as avi is my witness you have my word

but we haven't talked so i don't know what happened with garcelle or avi and uh

now you're an empty nester but you know what garcelle was tough that was tough and bose is like well what happened with her stop doing your sudden impersonation of me i don't appreciate that

sorry about that Got a little lost.

Did we talk

addressing? I mean, we're also doing my voice? It didn't sound like something I'd say, but you know what? I just went with it because I'm a new sentinel now. I just roll with the punches.

What happened? What happened with all those people who loved you? Did they discover that you have a terrible personality?

Okay, so here we go. This is when the show just goes crazy.
So, I mean, in a very boring way. But since like, I don't know.
I don't know what happened with Garcelle.

Kyle's like, yep, that's the mystery. That's the big mystery.
And Bose is like, she didn't say anything to you.

Well, last time I saw Garcelle, she was walking out on me and everyone else at that reunion.

So

now we see the clip of that reunion and Garcelle leaving, etc. So Sutton's like, I've texted again and again and again, and she did not text back.

And of course, then when I looked at my text history, I realized I never texted her in the first place, but I thought I've texted her again and again, and she never thought she texted me back.

Terrible.

Yeah, and like we said at the beginning of the episode, this is insane to act like you guys have no idea why Garcelle left. Every single one of them is like, what? Why would she do that? What?

And Dorit's like, do you think, do you think that for her, it was more like, gee, this is more of an alliance than a friendship? Oh, like, you, you, of all people saying this?

You are part of the Fox Forest 5, ma'am. That was so snotty of her to say that.
And Sutton tells us that she loved Garcelle. And she's like, I just have a hard time.

I just don't like people talking about her her like that. So of course, Sutton shuts it down right away and is like, that's a cruel thing to say.
She's a wonderful person. She's just angry right now.

We just need some space. And I know our friendship was genuine.
So how dare you cast her to be an opportunist? Just kidding. Sutton says none of that.

Yeah, she doesn't, but she says in the

confessional, she's like, well, I didn't just see her as an ally. I just don't like people to talk about her like that, which is why I won't say anything at this party.
Okay.

Just why Garcelle might have left. I don't know.
If anybody has been watching this show, it's like, yep, that's why she left, dummy. Yep.

Well, I was surprised when I heard that she wasn't talking to you. She must have started to listen to you and hear the awful things you say all the time.

Well, I know she was upset that I didn't have a back for whatever reason, and it seems that she was upset with you, too.

Yeah, it's like, well, we will never know because she's not speaking to me or any of us, so we can play the guessing game for eternity because of that.

I had to take a couple of months to be quiet and calm.

Remember who I am, put a couple of glass plates through Avi's throat, and I'm back, feeling better now.

When Sutton and I are in private, it's completely different than when she's around Garcelle. So now that Garcelle is gone, I would just like Sutton to be consistent, and that would be great.

So Kyle just stealing the consistent thing again. And also like casting Garcell to be the one who like was tainting Sutton in some sort of way.

No, Sutton was, Sutton was a monster before Garcelle came around. Like, you know, trying to make it seem like Garcel turned her is absolutely ridiculous.

Well, it's also just very Kyle to be like, well, the reason that I had a problem with this person, it was because of that person. And that person's gone now.
So now we can be friends.

I mean, it's every season with Kyle. You know, they run off who they don't like.
And then Kyle has her happy place and she'll stay friends with those people for a little while, you know?

And you can tell that they've all sat down and talked about who they're going to come for this season because they're all using the same.

I mean, they're just like politicians, you know, they're like, let's just all say Sentin's not consistent. Okay.

Let's just say it over and over again until people in comments everywhere are saying Sentin's not consistent, you know?

So gross. They do it every year and it's just like, it's tiring, you know? They need to get new people to fuck with.
I know they brought on Rachel and it looks like Rachel is unfuckwithable,

but we don't get a sense from in the previews, Rachel having problems with anybody, but I'm hoping for season two that she comes for all their throats.

Well, don't forget there is this new girl who's coming on in uh late i don't know i don't know i know i'm already rooting for her she's crazy amanda francis she's like some mlm queen not mlm but she's like a self-help guru and she's like a real flaky weirdo and i can't wait for her to come on because she looks like a real ville yeah i i i just want someone who will disrupt the kyle erica dorit situation So Kyle's like, um, she's like, yeah, um, so yeah, I've known Rachel for like many years socially and like we have friends in common and I've seen her in Aspen.

So like, I know her, but like not well. She's like trying to attach herself onto Rachel when she really clearly does not know Rachel very well at all.
Like Rachel's a Kathy friend, not a Kyle friend.

Yes. So

they come in and Rachel's meeting everybody and Dorit's like, oh, she said she was on your podcast, my friend Booze. She's like, oh yeah, she was one of my favorite episodes.

I could have talked to you for hours and hours. Yeah, we actually like got on the mics and just said gorge for 45 minutes straight.
It was like wonderful. Remember that? Gorge! Gorge.
Gorge! Gorge!

Gorge! Gorge! Dead. I just wanted to throw that in there.
I know Rachel's three mutual friends, but it was when I was a guest on her podcast last year that we really got to know each other very well.

Watch this. Gorge.

Gorge. Told you.
We hit it off like spocks.

So Rachel puts the flower crown over the tier that she's already wearing. She's like, oh my God, does this work? Am I crazy? Is this like insane?

Yes, it has jewels.

Thought so.

Guys, I feel like I'm at the first day of school. Is this the cool girls' table, guys?

Kathy, did you just pull pants out of your bag, guys? Guys, this is great. Those pants are gorgeous.
By the way, this table's gorge.

And she did. Kathy's just holding up these tiny pants.
Like, guys, look how cute these rag and bones are. I got them for rag and bones.
Who? Kyle.

Here you go did you call me a ragged muffin no rag and bones

who pulls a pair of jeans out of their bag like i still don't know a thing that kathy does like i just roll with it in the moment like what like

like oh like crazy like insanity like bananas like carnival in my house

I just want you guys to know the parties at my house right now are so boyish. I have like dinosaurs.
Isn't that wild? Like real actual dinosaurs.

Like they actually, Jeff Goldblum came over and he's like, guess what? Here's DNA. And he like actually made new dinosaurs.
And these are like real life dinosaurs and they're running around.

It's like crazy, crazy party. Also, I left my loser husband like a year ago.
And Boza's like, oh, she's in such a great place. Look at her.
Like, look at Doreet. Look at her.

You know, given where you are, which is

way down there, way down there at the bottom. You could be like Rachel Zoe someday.
She's like, Yeah, I feel like people shouldn't stay together if they're not happy. Like, kids can feel it.

They feel it. The kids are like, This is wild.
This is wild. And I feel it.

But now that he's gone, it's gorgeous. It's like gorgeous.
So now they talk about Dorit's kids, and they're like, So, have you told your kids that you're even getting divorced?

And she's like, Well, I, well,

Jagger has known. And Phoenix, I've just learned her name.
I mean, honestly, the little girl has been coming to my door asking for candy for years. I finally let her in.

Why would I tell her that PK is leaving?

Dorie has a tendency to talk in circles, so the more she says, the more lost you get.

But Doreen, since you filed, didn't you sit with them and say, we're getting divorced? And she's like,

no,

no, mm-mm.

With Jagger, I'm having the hardest time. He's 11, and he's made a couple of comments alluding to the fact that I know you and Daddy are divorced.

For instance, he walked in the other day and said, I know you and Daddy are divorced. So I'm starting to think he's catching on, but I'm not sure just yet.

Boys do that. Yeah, well, when me and Mo started having problems, we didn't tell the girls.
And then they felt a shift and they said, mom, we saw on TV that you left dad. So I told them.

And then we all agreed afterwards that we're kind of having the best divorce out of everyone and that we kind of handled it the best out of everyone.

So if anyone wants some advice, you could just come to me because I'm kind of like doing the best divorce of all time. The family that stays together does divorce together the best.

Yeah, yeah.

Like remember like last season when like Mo and I I went to like a shooting range together, and then he sat on the fence, which was like super dangerous, but just showed like how casually comfortable he is with me because we're divorcing like so well.

So, guys, I'm kind of like doing everyone else's storylines, but like a better version of it, right?

Well, I mean, you just got to sit him down and tell them, okay, dad just sick the Catholic church on me. I mean, what else are you going to do? Wait till they're 35 to say, hey, the Pope's a dick.

Here, this is what you do: you sit down to your children, you say, Guess what? Dad left us, so you, you're gonna go fix vending machines, and you, you're my new butler. That's it.

And so they're like, oh my god. Well, and Rachel goes, I mean, now he's like running around with girls.
And they're like, oh my God. And Boz goes, God, I thought I was harsh.

Dreet's like, well, I think he saw Mo doing it and he thought he could do it. And Kyle's like, yeah, he thought, wow, great.
I'll do what he's doing. Make out with horrors and ballet stands.

I guess that what that sort of means is I divorced from like the alpha guy in the group.

So like your divorced husband is like trying to copy my divorced husband, which is kind of cool because we're kind of like the ones that you guys follow. That's pretty cool.
Oh, yeah, Kyle.

I saw Mo and Aspen. Someone tried to set me up with them.

What?

Hell, hell no.

I was like, that's Kyle's ex-husband. Are you mental? Are you insane? Have you lost your gourd? What the hell? Like, you know what it's like?

It's like when you're famous and someone else is famous, people are like, oh my God, I know a gay person you could date. Wait.

You know that, Kyle? Like, remember, Kyle? You remember, you know, like when when you're like famous and then like someone else is like, that person's famous, right, Kyle? Kyle's like,

yeah.

I love Rachel just like casually being like, you know, when you're like famous.

Guys. And Erica says,

actually, no, we don't, Bo Guy.

Yeah, I feel like no one said to Erica, hey, Erica, you're famous. And there's another famous person over there you guys should date.
No one said that to her. Yeah.

So Boz is like, anyone left in Beverly Hills that Mo hasn't tried to get with? Well, he hadn't tried to get with me. Let's make that clear.

Kyle's going to make her pay for that later when she hears that. She's going to be like, I didn't appreciate that.

Yeah, that was actually like really mean because it's like, I'm going through a divorce and like, you're just like rubbing it in my face.

So like, it's one thing for me to be like, I'm desensitized to it, but for you to rub it in my face is like really not nice at all. Yeah, so Dorit's like, yeah, well, Mo's living his best life.

So now PK is living his best life. And Rachel's like, that is so fucked up.

As a famous person, I cannot condone that. Erica's like, PK is like a world-class party.
Mo is the kindergarten soccer league, and PK is winning the Premier League right now.

What I'm trying to say is, he's an alcoholic.

I love the reverence that Erica holds for PK because PK is like an old, decrepit, white man with money. So Erica's like, oh, yeah, no one wants to be like Mauricio.
PK, that's the man to be.

It's like,

it's like Santo Domingo.

that's where you want to be so rachel is like ugh hek sucks and you like don't want to be a you don't you just don't want to be a narcissist and like honestly if it didn't happen now it would have happened in like five years sorry sorry i die oh don't be sorry i'm loving all of this

So Coyle, what's it like you seeing pictures of Mauricio being so happy with anyone that's not you? And she's like, well, first it was shocking, but like, well, I mean, I've seen a few pictures.

I mean, we're pretty famous, too, right, Rachel, right? Yeah, I'm like, I'm sure Rachel's even like her to us, right, Rachel?

Yeah, I'm just like, I'm like telling people, like, stop trying to set me up with other famous people, right? Like, it's like so crazy how many people try to set me up with famous people, right?

She's like, Are you single, Kyle? Um, I'm single, but I'm like not dating because, like, just like, I just haven't been leaving my house, but like, guess what? Like, I've been like really happy.

I finally figured out how to open up the second French door, so it's like really truly when people say, like, when life, when life closes the door, like it opens a window, sometimes when life closes the door, you can actually open the door.

And I figured that out the real way.

There is still a chair, like stuck in that doorway, but one day I'm going to get it through the door. I just know it.

So we're just like, yeah, that's going to like change, my friend, because like three nights a week, you have to go out. Like you have to.

Like it's like so much easier to stay in your PJs in the house. But like once you go out, you're going to feel like so full.
Oh, yeah, because we're going to be like going to have dinner.

No, like emotionally full. Like anyone else.
I don't need dinner. I'm like, You don't do dinner.
No, it's going to be fall.

You're going to go out to parties and like podcasts are going to come up to you and be like, you're a gay icon. And it'll just feel so fall.
So fall. And Dorit's like, hoot girl, summy.

And Kyle's like, I don't even know what hot girl summer means.

My hot girl summer isn't with these chicks. It's with a...

It's in a bed with a man.

Sorry about that, everyone. Well, it's like a game show trying to figure out that last sentence.
I typed that a little. You can tell I was glad by the end of these notes.
That was so surprising.

Ronnie wrote the notes. Letters wrote the notes today.
And I was, there was just like a typo that I just could not get through.

The CC ticks, it sin abesed.

So there you go. That's what he was given.

It's in bed with a man.

So we'll see. It was a pretty,

you know, slow episode of the show.

Yeah, it's like when I started to see them, when they were talking and then they started putting up the names, like, you know, like the end credits over their conversation, I was like, wait, we're not ending with any sort of cliffhanger or incident or conflict.

We're just having them talk about Hot Girl Summer. I was like, okay.
But maybe it's just like establishing. It's like, this is what's happened.
Here's Rachel Zoe. Here we go.

We're just moving forward.

Yeah.

And honestly, it doesn't really look like anything starts to happen until this amanda francis comes on and so i don't know when that's going to be i would guess not till episode six or so but you know i like i said earlier i did enjoy watching it still you know after i thought well that was kind of boring but i did enjoy it while it was on so yeah i mean

roll with it you know they don't always have to be fighting yeah exactly not everything has to be at level 10 you can have a slow burn you can have a chill vibe so it wasn't terrible it just was like way just way slower than i was expecting i thought it'd be like a little a little happier.

Yeah, well let's see what they pull out of their bag as we go along. See what they whip out of that Birkin, baby.
Everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will talk to you next week.

Have an amazing weekend, guys. Bye.
Bye.

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