#3102 Southern Charm S11E03 Part 2: Lost Boy Lit

Speaker 1 Audible's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you. When it comes to what romance you're into, you can't be pinned down unless you want to be.

Speaker 1 Here's your invitation to have it all. Fancy a dalliance with a duke or perhaps a sexy billionaire.
Find a book boyfriend in the city and another on the hockey field.

Speaker 1 Or, if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm. Hear modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Speaker 1 Moss and Rebecca Yaros, and Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, plus all the really steamy stuff.

Speaker 1 Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash crappins. That's audible.com slash crappins.

Speaker 1 You already know we love virgin voyages. This cruise line is more iconic than Ramona Singer's runway walk.
We're talking all-inclusive everything.

Speaker 1 Wi-Fi, dining, entertainment, group fitness classes, everything is included. No hidden fees, no surprise charges.
And unlike most of the Cast of the Valley, all Virgin Voyages trips are 100% kid-free.

Speaker 1 No room for loud toys and crying kids to drown out the sounds of the ocean. The destinations are amazing, too.
Some highlights are Ruba, St.

Speaker 1 Lucia, New York, Miami, Iceland, and a below-deck favorite, the Med. Oh my God, the boats are beautiful.
They're so modern. The rooms are just so luxurious.

Speaker 1 I love all the colored lighting in there and the balconies. And I also just love that they are tailored for adult experiences.
That makes me so happy.

Speaker 1 Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages. Learn more at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.

Speaker 1 You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Or when you're packing for a trip and your cat refuses to leave your suitcase?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real.
And you know what? It's completely normal. That's exactly why Hill's Pet Nutrition exists.

Speaker 1 They understand that being a pet parent means being human with all our imperfections and daily juggling acts. Hill's science-led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible.

Speaker 1 Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets, Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it.

Speaker 1 They've created science-based nutrition that supports your pet's lifelong health so you can feel confident even when life gets hectic. Because you're only human, there's hills.
Science does more.

Speaker 1 Ready to let go of the guilt? Find the right food at hillspet.com/slash crappins. That's hillspet.com/slash crappins.

Speaker 1 Watch what crap is,

Speaker 1 watch what crap is.

Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Speaker 1 Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one.

Speaker 1 Bye. Enjoy the show.

Speaker 1 So now we go to Witner FaceTiming with Shop. And Witner's like, hey, having a birthday party Saturday.
The theme is literary figures. So that can be an author or a character.

Speaker 1 It's basically just a reason to see what stupid shit Craig and Sally come up with because you know they don't read.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shep loves this. He's like, I'm going to dress up like 100 years of solitude.
Gosh.

Speaker 1 He's going to show up with like a white bang and be like, guys, I'm Susan Sontag.

Speaker 1 Just like his head is going to be in a fishbowl. He's like, guys, it's the bell jar.

Speaker 1 It's going to be all fun. Oh, Charlie's there.
I think she's very attractive. I would totally be open to going out with her.
Oh, wow. You would.
Would you lower yourself?

Speaker 1 into going out with a 24-year-old supermodel beauty queen with a perfect body and face chef really and rodrigo's like uh well um austin and and uh Craig went to see uh Charlie or sorry Austin told me that Craig went to see Charlie at the art gallery she works at so

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 and and so Shep is like okay gosh I mean well I was in the hot tub with Craig and Sally a week and a half ago, but whatever if Craig likes her, you know, gangs away.

Speaker 1 First of all, I'm not gonna jockey for position or anything like that, but hashtag Megalodon's necklace coming in. Woo! I'm too old for that shit.
Maybe I'm too old for her. But what do I know?

Speaker 1 I'm just a regular William Faulkner. If I, if I, if I may.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm too old for her, frankly, because she's 27.

Speaker 1 Which, you know, now Leono DiCaprio has broken his 25-year-old lady rule and he is dating a 27-year-old. Wow.
So, you know, they're all doing it now. They're all doing it.

Speaker 1 So he's like, yeah, I got a lot of shit last year when people were like, well, of course Iana did this or that. She's 26.
But then again, I am maturing at a glacial pace.

Speaker 1 I'm just a boy.

Speaker 1 I'm maturing more slowly than it took to resolve the Vietnam War. The details, which are available in the Kenberg's documentary calls, the Vietnam War Garsh.

Speaker 1 So he says that Craig is just an interesting cat and he stopped trying to figure out Craig a long time ago.

Speaker 1 And he's just suggesting that Austin do the same because they're trying to reset where you know they have to every season where they're like, We love each other now, and then two episodes later, they're like, I hate him.

Speaker 1 So, Rodrigo's like, Yeah, well, I think that Austin might have a FOMO. He's like, Oh, poor Austin, he can't make a decision for Christ sometimes, can he?

Speaker 1 Rodrigo's like, No, man, that's kind of his problem. He's like, I mean, you know, what did he say? It's it's a winner.

Speaker 1 Remember, we were at Folly and we just got surfing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.
Shep, could you stop doing the flashback music?

Speaker 1 We'll let post-production do it for us. Okay, Garsh.
Sorry about that.

Speaker 1 So the dad calls, and

Speaker 1 he's like, hey, I was thinking I could pull right up to the storage unit and start looking at furniture for my new house. And the dad's like, whatever you want to do, we're ready for you, Garsh.

Speaker 1 So they, so Shep is like, look, the grass is always greener, and I get that. Just human nature.
As

Speaker 1 Isaac Asimov once wrote, the tree that grows next to the robot is stronger than the robot that's built next to the tree. Did he say that?

Speaker 1 Not sure.

Speaker 1 But no one else has read it in this group, so I'm going to stick with it. No one could found that.
So I recently...

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. I recently bought this new house because I just wanted a house on Sullivan's Island, which is one of my favorite places in the world.
It's bigger, it's like historical.

Speaker 1 Four bedrooms, four baths. I don't even know what to put in it.
And we see um clips of this new house, and it's huge.

Speaker 1 It's 5,000 square feet, four bedroom, four bath, like he said, and it's 3.25 million dollars.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a big, it's a big one. He's like, my dad, I think, is kind of excited to get a little bit of his stuff out.
So they pull up to

Speaker 1 the family barn, and his dad, Rip,

Speaker 1 waits by the fence. And he's like, hi there.
He's like, my parents were a big factor in me

Speaker 1 buying this house because my brother bought a big house with his two kids and a wife and my sister are the same thing.

Speaker 1 So for them, and in the normal trajectory of a guy's life, I'm 10 years behind, maybe 15. Kersh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the dad's like, I just want to make sure you get some wooden Venetian blinds. Those add value to a house.
Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 I will never forget that when the dad was like, you need to have wooden blinds, Shepard. You need to have them.
They're very important for resale.

Speaker 1 And there were like those huge, clicky, clacky, you know, blinds. They're huge that go over the windows.
And that was all the dad cared about. He's like, you need to get those blinds, Ship.

Speaker 1 It's very important.

Speaker 1 All right, dad, we'll take it over.

Speaker 1 It's been years and that stuck with me. So

Speaker 1 Shep's like, whoa, Rodrigo, get excited. Biggest swab meeting South Carolina right here, right?

Speaker 1 So they go into the storage unit and it's just all, you know, God knows where half of this furniture came from, like plantations over all over the south. I mean, I don't know.
It's like a lot of

Speaker 1 old shit. Yeah, very antique stuff.
It's all like probably like great antique. Like if you're antiquing, it's probably all great stuff.

Speaker 1 But the funny thing is, it's like, is this really going to be, is this Shep's style? I mean, I don't know what Shep's style is.

Speaker 1 But I feel like it's not necessarily his style, but he's just happy to have items in his house. Yeah, he's just going to throw shit in there.

Speaker 1 yeah it'll be like banana peels he just wants like a sectional from ikea and a surfboard that's all this guy ever has in his house so he's just like dad put whatever you want to in there so they do they start going through it and the dad's like well that's nice those are round floor and garsh get those and then there's like of course a big shellact fish yeah somebody got and then the best part is where we see a uh pic we see two paintings actually of shep yeah as a teenager with his golf club over his shoulder just posing like

Speaker 1 and uh they're two side by side and they're exactly the same but they're two years you know they you know they're separate times but I just love that it's like it's it's time shep we got to get out there and get your yearly picture with your golf club over your shoulder well Cindy

Speaker 1 our our young man's turning into an adult man Time to get the painting done. We got to get a painting of Shep with a golf club.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 So they go through shit and Rod's like, oh my God, I'm the designer and this is basically amazing. Like everything in here is basically wonderful.
I mean, it's just great. I was like, is it?

Speaker 1 This is not, this is not great, but whatever. They, they load up on some crap and they're done.

Speaker 1 I feel like individual pieces, again, I feel like they're all good antiques and individual pieces are probably great, but I feel like an entire house with that, I just don't feel like matches Shep's aesthetic.

Speaker 1 It's just basically his parents. It's his parents' stuff that they just put in the barn.
You know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I guess we'll see.
The house is beautiful, though. Gorgeous.
We'll see. So then we go to Daniel Island where Madison and Brett are driving to their new home on a golf cart.

Speaker 1 Let's see how much Brett's going to talk this time. I'm going to say 18 words.
I'm feeling emotional today because I drove through this neighborhood when I first moved to Charleston.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm going to marry some old rich man and I'm going to live out here because I was like, the only way I was going to be able to do that was be if I married a rich guy.

Speaker 1 but sure enough, I married you. He's like, Yeah, you didn't marry an old rich man.
That's right. I got a hunky man, my own money.
I'll finish the joke for you. That's okay.

Speaker 1 Or at least I had my own money before I spent it on this house. And

Speaker 1 we just sold our starter home here on Daniel Island, and now we're moving into our forever home, which is right around the corner on Daniel Island. They mention Daniel Island a lot.

Speaker 1 I feel like they're constantly like, I'm on Daniel Island.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 they arrive, and their realtor is like, Welcome in. Congratulations.
I have a little something for you, but you can't drink this right away anyway. It's champagne.

Speaker 1 So they say, Who, motherfucker? Get that thing open.

Speaker 1 Unless you got a husk of corn. I don't care what you got.
So they go. It's a nice house.
Beautiful, beautiful kitchen. Beautiful kitchen.
It's very good. I mean, congratulations.
It's humongous.

Speaker 1 Oh, my gosh. How much money is she making? This is a $3.9 million house.
Six bedrooms, seven-bath, another 5,000 square footer.

Speaker 1 And she's like, well, it's a high price, but it's just perfect.

Speaker 1 I mean, if I got a bill to pay, I'm going to turn that kitchen into a, I'm going to turn it into a kitchen beautician, and I'll make sure it's taken care of because my dreams are coming true.

Speaker 1 Look at this: pregnant, wedding ring, house, chick, chick, chick. Makes me a little nervous.

Speaker 1 When people make these proclamations on reality TV, that's like, you know, Bravo like bookmarks it and be like, okay, we're going to turn this into a black and white flashback in about five years when her life falls apart.

Speaker 1 Okay, great.

Speaker 1 yeah you know they always do that but uh it is actually very exciting and now we know why she was so messy with audrey she's like gotta make sure this paycheck is coming in i've got a house yeah

Speaker 1 i love pregnant madison just coming in and causing mess and then going home to her husband i know you know it's like wow isn't it amazing i can still make money off of with austin's life and i don't even have to him So they look and they're there's the fucking rooms and she's getting choked up because she's like, I'm gonna have babies in here.

Speaker 1 They look in the primary bedroom and this is where I'm gonna make all these six other kids. No, I'm kidding.
We'll do it all over the place: kitchen island, sofa, everywhere around this house, Brett.

Speaker 1 He's like, Well, I thought we were gonna say the sex tapes. This is a sex tape room.
She goes, Well, we're gonna have to link those to pay for this shit. That's for sure.

Speaker 1 So she says, The fact that I'm even approved for something like this after being called white trash for how many years?

Speaker 1 And then we go flashback 2018. And Madison's like, shit, fuck him.
He said that I was a white trash hairstylist.

Speaker 1 2020 yeah well you're a terrible person and you're a trash can there's that was the worst he was Craig was so vile that reunion um but they've they've always been so mean to Madison and now look she's like the star the line for Madison's RoboCon was huge yeah she did win she really did

Speaker 1 so they go outside and she's like life is so good it doesn't even feel real yeah this is crazy he's like i can only imagine what your dad would be saying if you walked in so she starts to choke up

Speaker 1 and she's happy another milestone in her life now we go to dool's pet store in case you in case you couldn't figure that one out uh it's also the mantra for all the men on the show doolittle

Speaker 1 welcome to do the least cat store where every man trying to get a reputation defending cat in Charleston. Please come visit our sister store we just opened up on Daniel Island called What Job?

Speaker 1 Hey, my friend's getting a kitten for the first time. Oh, I think that's him right there.
He's the one spitting all over the window. Great, crazy, you? Wow, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Well, those cats are going to hate him. He's going to be giving them showers every time he talks to them.
They need to get him a slobber guard. If that's even a thing.
Do they sell slobber guards?

Speaker 1 They should for dogs that slobber, just like a little tray, a little bit. A bit.

Speaker 1 So Austin is like, Rodrigo's cat had a litter. And I don't like coming home to just like an empty house.
So, I really want to have a couple of cats excited to see me when I walk in. I was like, Ugh,

Speaker 1 you're being such a fuckboy right now. Being like, oh, I'm lonely.
I'm sad. I just want two little cats.
I was like, ugh. And I hate that I was like, that's so sweet that he wants two cats.

Speaker 1 But I'm a pushover when it comes to cats. I can't help it, everyone.
I can't help it.

Speaker 1 Well, also, I don't know that he's met cats before because I don't know that cats are the pet you get if you want something to be

Speaker 1 able to come home.

Speaker 1 Cats Cats are like, you're here. Feed me, you fucking moron.

Speaker 1 How were you all day? Oh, look, look his back. Let's see who his back.
Just give us our food.

Speaker 1 Actually, my friend's cat is so cute. And my friend's, the cat that I had growing up definitely would get excited when I'd come home.
Like my cat had dog-like qualities.

Speaker 1 And my friend's cat has dog-like qualities, like always wants to play. Like there are definitely cats that are super social, but you just never know.
You never know what you're going to get.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think so. I think I've known a lot of cats like that.
But I just mean like the basic reputation for a cat isn't like, oh my God, Microsoft's happy to see me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the baseline cat is like, oh, well, I guess our solitude is broken up. Someone's stupid's here.
Let's go in the other room. Wow, you just walked in the door.
That means you know how to use it.

Speaker 1 You want to try walking out again? Well, I guess I'll go back under the bed where sophisticated people live.

Speaker 1 Are you having dinner? Good. Time to make a poop.

Speaker 1 Just be right here in my little house that you've inconveniently stored in the kitchen, you moron. Oh.

Speaker 1 Well, that's nice that you put a glass on the counter here. Let me just move that for you onto the floor.
Bye.

Speaker 1 So he's picked out two names, and they are Piper and Martini, which I think is funny because it's like a pipe and martini, really. It's like paraphernalia.
It's like paraphernalia and booze.

Speaker 1 Piper and martini. Like, those do not sound like names that Austin would name a cat.
Piper and Martini. Piper, maybe.
Piper, get over here. But Martini is like,

Speaker 1 i don't know i'm surprised he didn't like name one of them something like

Speaker 1 keg

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 1 i don't know miller i guess you can't name it after after a competition but like funnel or

Speaker 1 polo doggers get in here

Speaker 1 dip matthews get in here

Speaker 1 Yeah, so the clerk's like, so you got one cat, you got two cats. He goes, oh, I got two girls.
They're actually the background on my phone. Look.

Speaker 1 like, wow, that's amazing. Never seen pets as a background on a phone before.
Thanks for sharing that with me. I've heard Martini their names.
Good, good fucking choice. Okay.
Who let you have cats?

Speaker 1 So, you know what?

Speaker 1 We need one with a bell. Can we get a bell for the cat? Put a bell on the cat.
I'm like, oh, the last thing you need is a bell on a cat. You know how much cats move?

Speaker 1 You're just going to be hearing that tinkling non-stop. No bells on the cat.
Cats already hate you without you forcing a bell on them.

Speaker 1 And Craig's Craig's like, well, I suggest getting this litter box because the wall, it has walls and, you know, they have privacy.

Speaker 1 I think anyone with a cat should be suggesting those cat boxes that clean themselves, the self-cleaning cat boxes with crystal, with crystal

Speaker 1 litter. Oh.
Yes. I got that from my cousin.
And I still feel like a badass because that's a good cat gift. That is a good cat gift right there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think for cats, well, you definitely want to get a scratching post, right?

Speaker 1 And then,

Speaker 1 you know what they love? You know what a cat loves? A pole with a little feathery thing that dangles off of it. Ugh, that is like,

Speaker 1 that's basically like getting a MacBook Pro for a cat.

Speaker 1 Like that's, they wait in line for that shit.

Speaker 1 Did you hear? Well, I'm making a commitment to get cats. That's very daunting.
Look at me. I'm making a commitment, America.

Speaker 1 By the way, there's a coffee shop next door. Why don't we just like close out here and head over there to the coffee shop? Okay.
So they go to the coffee shop.

Speaker 1 And I was like, all that shopping for my cat makes me hungry, Craig. It's like, oh, cool.
Cheers. The kids.
Thanks, man.

Speaker 1 Dude, I think that you should like come over and see me being a cat dad in actions. That way, America can see that I'm actually like really adorable, right, Craig?

Speaker 1 Maybe I'll come over before we go to Wits' birthday party.

Speaker 1 What are you going to dress as? It's literary times.

Speaker 1 Come on, Craig. You know what that means, right? Books.
It's books, Craig. He's like, well, I haven't thought about it.
So I'm going to ask Chat GPT.

Speaker 1 So, ChatGPT, with everything you know about me and our relationship so far, I have to dress like a literary figure. Give me a couple of options.
What I should dress as.

Speaker 1 Chat GPT is like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Talk less.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Form tighter sentences.

Speaker 1 bloop, bloop, bloop.

Speaker 1 You can be one of the rocks in Jurassic Park. That was a book.

Speaker 1 So Austin's like, so. Was Fraggle Rock ever a book? Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

Speaker 1 And of course they give him, they give Austin Jay Gatsby. And Craig goes, damn, that's a compliment.
I was like, is it? Have you read the book? Do you know that story?

Speaker 1 Do you know that, you know, Jay Gatsby is like a faker? You know what happens to him at the end? I mean, spoiler alert, but is that it actually is kind of perfect. That's kind of a perfect Craig

Speaker 1 costume.

Speaker 1 So then also Dorian Gray and Craig goes, 50 Shades of Gray. And like, this is sad when Austin, I mean,

Speaker 1 I can't, but like, when Austin's like, no, Dorian Gray is the guy who has a portrait and he stays young forever and people love him because he's not only hot, but he's got cats. Okay.

Speaker 1 And he stays young as long as his portrait remains intact, okay?

Speaker 1 Is that 50 shades of gray? I love that. I love the crack fluja.
He's like, Well, I'm not really a huge theme pie party guy, okay? He's like, Oh, you're scarred from having to dress up in the Hamptons.

Speaker 1 And then we see Summerhouse

Speaker 1 where Paige and Craig were wearing their mask to matching costume for NASCAR.

Speaker 1 Commercials.

Speaker 1 Here comes one right now.

Speaker 1 The holidays are coming fast and they're coming hard. And you know what? It's time for some last-minute gifts.
It's time for home preparations. And we don't need to be stressed about it.

Speaker 1 We can embrace it and we can have fun with it. That's why we use Wayfair.
Okay. You can get it done properly.
You can get it done quickly.

Speaker 1 I'm going to get a whole bunch of new bedding because I'm going to have some guests over the holiday and it's time to upgrade the bedding.

Speaker 1 And Wayfair, which I never really even looked at Wayfair for bedding, but it has gorgeous, comfy bedding. I just got a beautiful, soft feathery blanket, you know, for cuddling up and on the bed.

Speaker 1 You know, the blanket that you put between the bed sheet and the bed spread?

Speaker 1 Deluscious. Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your home goals and gift list with endless inspiration for every space and budget.

Speaker 1 Fast and easy delivery, even on the big stuff, so you can get what you need when you need it. No more huge delivery fees for furniture.

Speaker 1 Get big stuff like sofas, dining tables, beds, desks, and more shipped for free. Find all your must-haves from furniture and decor to appliances and cookware all in one convenient place.

Speaker 1 Get last-minute hosting essentials, gifts for all your loved ones and decor to celebrate the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Speaker 1 Wayfair, every style, every home.

Speaker 1 Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is when I need my wardrobe to just work.
That's why I'm all about Quince. Quince makes the essentials every guy needs.

Speaker 1 Mongolian cashmere sweaters for $50, Italian wool coats that look and feel designer, and denim and chinos that fit just right. Their outerwear lineup is no joke.

Speaker 1 Down jackets, wool topcoats, and leather styles that are built to last.

Speaker 1 Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production.

Speaker 1 By cutting out the middlemen and traditional markups, Quince delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price.

Speaker 1 It's everything you actually want to wear built to hold up season after season. And you know, in Los Angeles, it doesn't get very cold here, but it can get a little chilly.

Speaker 1 And I have my beautiful Mongolian cashmere sweater from Quince, and it has been perfect for these chilly evenings.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think we keep saying Mongolian cashmere so much when we're talking about Quince that that's what I went for too.

Speaker 1 I got a Mongolian cashmere hoodie, like a camel-colored hoodie, and it's comfortable and it is

Speaker 1 gorgeous.

Speaker 1 Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quince. Don't wait.
Go to quince.com slash crap ins for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Speaker 1 That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash crap ins free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/slash crap inside the current currents.
This is a test of the Reese's broadcast system.

Speaker 1 If you're currently eating Reese's, this is just a test. Continue living the dream.
If you aren't, oh boy, drop what you're doing. Go get Reese's now.
Do not stay calm. Push people out of the way.

Speaker 1 Craig saying he's not really

Speaker 1 like, he doesn't really like theme parties when he's been cosplaying as a southerner for literally 10 years on this show is hilarious.

Speaker 1 But Craig is like,

Speaker 1 well, now it's after my breakup. And I will say that I tried the lover version of myself.
And now I'm back to the party version of myself.

Speaker 1 Wow, single Craig's back. Thank God.
Single Craig's back. It was amazing.
Yeah, because whether it's like Sally or Charlie, I'm having fun being able to kiss someone if I want to. Guilt-free.

Speaker 1 I'm the architect of my own demise. Ha ha.
So Austin's like,

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, who would it have been? Who would you guess, Craig?

Speaker 1 Who would you guess?

Speaker 1 So he says, Charlie, he has chemistry with, and well, maybe he has chemistry with Sally, too. I mean, geez, like they were hanging out in the hot tub, and Austin's like, I have FOMO.

Speaker 1 Cause like, God, do I miss being single? yeah I mean okay yeah maybe I do

Speaker 1 and so Craig's like oh my god like I would do anything not to be single right now I didn't want to be single but someone made that decision for me but Austin God in this half in half out is bullshit

Speaker 1 look I'm like I'm having fun being a flirt I was really good in a relationship I loved it everything in life is is give and take and sacrifices and stuff and when it's the right person and if you're her person then it doesn't matter and it works if you're willing to put the work in it's like it's like in that romantic story the bonfire of the vanities it's about loving someone and then they love you back right no

Speaker 1 so now we go to witness

Speaker 1 it's really it's i'm still waking up sorry like i don't know bonfire of the banners was the best i could do this morning

Speaker 1 i was actually going back to my it's a great book by the way did you ever read me that did you ever read it? Yes, I did actually. I love that book.
I love that. That book is

Speaker 1 so, that's such a good thing. I even liked the movie.

Speaker 1 I was even fine with the movie. I like the movie, too.
So then we go to Whitner's house and Vanita's there because she's the decorator for parties, guys.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 she helps him set up. They have to steam a table runner thing.
So if we get to watch him do that, and he uses glass plates. I mean, this guy is kind of an adult.

Speaker 1 He's steaming a table runner and using glass plates. I mean, what the hell? And they're not only glass plates, they're trauma plates because they come attached with memories.
I've an X.

Speaker 1 So, um, Wittner, but before that, Wittner says, Wittner's backstory is he's like, my mom has always been big on theme parties. Anything from, you know, Cole Porter to the 50s to eras of history.

Speaker 1 It makes for some great family photos.

Speaker 1 That's so not my. We see pictures of his, yeah, when we see pictures of his

Speaker 1 extremely cold porter type. Cole Porter theater.
Cole Porter party having,

Speaker 1 I mean, this looks like a family. And you know that they have some Santa music parties.
And they wear same pajamas around Christmas. Oh, God, you should have seen our Doris Kearns Goodwin party.

Speaker 1 Ugh, that was a great holiday.

Speaker 1 And Vanita says she has been friendly with Witt's mother for almost 10 years because she used to work at a store and that was one of the frequent shoppers.

Speaker 1 And then she put two and two that they were family because the mom really didn't even speak about her kids at all. So she had no idea about the kids.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 But then it turns out that who she thought the mom was was someone else entirely because the mom takes off a mask like Mission Possible. Guess what? I was in costume, honey.

Speaker 1 Total stranger. She's like, oh my God, it's Cole Porter.

Speaker 1 So Winner's like, my mom is very anti-establishment, straight up. I mean, she'd be an anarchist if she could.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what that means, but this is a mother we need to meet.

Speaker 1 you know what i the mother who doesn't give a shit about her children makes them dress like cold porter for her amusement and then wants to throw overthrow the government i have to tell you i where is she i love an anarchist cold porter enthusiasts

Speaker 1 she's like fuck rules fuck everything okay everyone time for some cold porter

Speaker 1 seriously where is she

Speaker 1 so uh vanilla so you know people are going to come over later so you know they get it they get it set up pretty much and then we get witner's more of Witner's backstory. He's like, you know,

Speaker 1 like, I've only used these plates once and it was an anniversary couple a couple of years ago. I haven't used them since, but I have licked my wounds so we can use them now.

Speaker 1 I was engaged in August 2023 and she walked out two months later. And

Speaker 1 yeah, I was with her for three years and we lived happily for two and a half. And then I did love her, but one day it was just over.
She just said she needed space and that was it. I don't know.

Speaker 1 She just said it was things I did wrong. I had no idea what I did.

Speaker 1 No idea.

Speaker 1 No, I begged for couples therapy. She didn't do it.
And then finally I came home.

Speaker 1 She'd moved out.

Speaker 1 And so we don't know what happened. Maybe she'd be in a lesbian.
There's a lot missing there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, when a guy's like, oh, what? I mean, she, I mean, just suddenly she moved out. I mean, she said it was things I did, but I've got no idea what they could be.
I tried everything.

Speaker 1 God, when she was about to leave, I even tried couples therapy after six months of her telling me that she didn't like a lot of the shit that I did. I have no idea.
It's such a shit.

Speaker 1 What could it have been? We had just gotten that cat.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Benita's like, well, have you tried dating since? He's like, yeah, to varying degrees of not successful, but I was heartbroken and probably still am to some degree. I'm injured.

Speaker 1 So the question is, I don't know, for some reason, this feels sincere to me. It doesn't feel fuckboy, but this is very fuckboy-y to be like, oh, yeah, something happened.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm just innocent in this. And she just, she just walked away.
I I mean, like she probably said a million times, I'm leaving you because you don't listen to my needs.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know what happened. She just never even said, she just never said what was wrong.

Speaker 1 He seems like a really nice guy.

Speaker 1 And in the first episode, he was talking about how, yeah, he went to law school with Craig, but they didn't really know each other because he was two years younger than Craig, even though he passed the bar way before Craig.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that he doesn't really relate to these people because he actually has a job that he has to go to.

Speaker 1 So at first I thought, okay, he's being cast as kind of the new Craig, you know, that's like the one who has to work that doesn't really fit in and they're going to make fun of him for having a job and stuff.

Speaker 1 But it's hard not to have some cynicism because this is Southern Charm. Yes.
And

Speaker 1 I know what the men on Southern Charm are like, and so I just don't trust them. But yeah, he does seem pretty nice so far.

Speaker 1 I think also I'm like influenced because someone came on to crap the hour was like, my friend is friends with Witner and says that he's actually a really stand-up guy.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, guys, well, it's a fact he's a stand-up guy what can i what can i say um but i i am being i think clouded by that but he does actually seem like he might be a stand-up guy uh we'll see

Speaker 1 right now he's torturing i don't know right now it just needs to keep me entertained okay so we go to the getting ready montage uh everybody's getting ready sally comes to charlie's uh to get ready with her and then craig is getting his hair and makeup done and um he's like yeah this is like a single boy costume yo craig i'd be a pretty good wingman for you tonight because i don't think i'll be getting the chips wearing my costume

Speaker 1 he's dressed like one of the harry potter kids right does he say which one it's actually hermione i think i think he's actually in harry potter drag i think it said

Speaker 1 he's wearing like a little skirt i believe i could be wrong i mean again when i watched this i was a little drunk So I seem to remember that it said I was like Hermione, but I didn't have the energy or the effort to go back five seconds to read what it said.

Speaker 1 So I'm sure we will find out soon.

Speaker 1 Um, but Craig is like, but when he says, Yeah, I'm probably not getting the chicks wearing this, and Craig's like, The reason you're not getting chicks, Austin, is because you have a girlfriend.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 Craig's not wrong on that,

Speaker 1 you shouldn't be concerned about that.

Speaker 1 So, uh, Witner is offering his dog Bacchus some mojito, and the dog's like,

Speaker 1 Why'd you name me that?

Speaker 1 Uh, and then uh, Vanita, Vanita comes in and she's like, here comes the bride. It's no longer Vanita.
It's Medusa. You know,

Speaker 1 I would have liked a better costume from Vanita because she basically was dressed, just, she was dressed very prettily,

Speaker 1 pretty,

Speaker 1 like very nice, but she had like kind of like a some sort of accessory that was like a little sort of little snake. I'm like, if you're going to do Medusa.
You got to do Medusa. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Medusa has been done on this channel before. In fact, I actually don't even think you can touch Medusa after What's Her Face did it.
What was her name? Why am I blanking on her? Heidi. No.

Speaker 1 You are Fallon. You are out.
Fallon. Remember when Fallon did Medusa?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Fallon did Medusa with the snakes in her hair on Atlanta.

Speaker 1 But didn't Heidi Klume just do that? Yeah, she had the snakes actually moving. I just feel like when people do Medusa, they really commit to the bit.
And I feel like...

Speaker 1 I feel like Vanita did not commit to the bit. I feel like there could have just been a better literary character for her to do, you know?

Speaker 1 So everyone else comes in and, you know, drinks and stuff. And Molly comes in dressed as, I think, Gandalf.
And it's funny. She's got like a full beard and everything.
And so she's hot.

Speaker 1 And then Shep's like, lonesome dove, Captain Gus McRae. And I was like, of course he dressed as that one.
Of course he dressed as a sloppy, messy one. I loved it.

Speaker 1 I was so happy that he brought a lonesome dove reference because you, you had like that, that like three months of like lonesome dove that you were going through lonesome dove and it was a lot of pages.

Speaker 1 It was just such a hilarious like random

Speaker 1 No pun intended chapter in your life like you found this book that was so big in the 80s that was a mini series It was like acclaimed by like every it was like a whole thing and it was so random that you sort of like were going through this lonesome dove phase and then the fact that Shep of all people is like I'm referencing lonesome dove I was like oh

Speaker 1 It's perfect.

Speaker 1 I know I was like, were we reading that at the same time? That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 now I'm reading great expectations. No.
And

Speaker 1 I've just discovered Miss Havisham. She just came into the book yesterday, and I'm dying.

Speaker 1 That shit is hilarious. Why didn't anybody tell me? I don't even care about the rest of the book.
I just want it all to be her.

Speaker 1 And for those of you who haven't read it, this is her first scene. She's wearing a wedding dress that's all old.
Like she's never changed. Something happened on her wedding day.

Speaker 1 And so she's really depressed and she's never taken off this wedding dress. Okay, so it's all yellow, it's like jazz.

Speaker 1 This is like years later, and she's um like super sad and like withering away, and just like waiting to rot in her house.

Speaker 1 And so, this kid comes in, she makes this kid come to her house, and she goes, Do you see this? And she puts her hands over his heart or over her heart, and he goes, Your heart? She goes, Broken.

Speaker 1 That's that's like you should have been, Miss Havisham.

Speaker 1 Mrs. Havisham.

Speaker 1 Hero, my new literary hero. That's who I would have addressed as.
So by the way, great expectations. Great expectations.
Go ahead. Sorry.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, great expectations is a concept that is totally foreign to this TV show.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Shep is no, it's not. It's what all the women have when they come on here.

Speaker 1 And they end with Lonesome Dove. The ending.

Speaker 1 With Bonfire of the Vanities.

Speaker 1 so no they end with white noise by donde lillo so um

Speaker 1 gosh a postmodern masterpiece oh

Speaker 1 maybe it's infinite just oh oh dus mcrae he's a lazy loquacious and charismatic rake with a fondness for alcohol gambling and whores oh gosh

Speaker 1 Does sound like you, buddy. So then Sally comes, and this is the best one.
She's like, um, I'm kissing Kate Barlow from Holes. holes.
And Shep goes, from what? Holes. What's that?

Speaker 1 You don't know Holes the movie slash the book? It was the book first, so it counts. Holes? Holes.
Holes?

Speaker 1 Holes.

Speaker 1 I don't want to make fun of her selection. I never read holes.
I never saw the movie. And obviously the name holes.
You coming out, Dre. She didn't read the book, Holes.
Are you kidding?

Speaker 1 She's just reminding the men that she's single. It's reminding, reminding, reminding everyone of options.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, who are you? She's like, a hole. Lots of holes.
Okay, pick one.

Speaker 1 Molly is like, well, some girls dress like Sally and Vanita and some girls are Gandalf because, you know, of course, like

Speaker 1 Sally and Vanita are like, you know,

Speaker 1 they're, you know, showing off. They're looking as beautiful.
And they're like, you know, their costume is really more like they wedge their costume into like looking hot.

Speaker 1 And Sally is like covered in a robe with a fake beard and a hat and a staff, and like her face is unrecognizable. And she's sweating, and she's like,

Speaker 1 She's like melting in the corner,

Speaker 1 and Sally's like, Oh, wow, Molly didn't really even see you there. She goes, You shall not pass.

Speaker 1 You don't get it,

Speaker 1 and then Vanita takes her to the side, and Sally's like, Yeah, that was really weird. Vanita's like, Yeah, I could feel the tension.
Oh, really? You had tension with Gandalf? Stop it.

Speaker 1 Well, one doesn't just simply walk into this party.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 So that was a Lord of the Rings reference, guys. Molly is like,

Speaker 1 she's sweating in the corner, which is hilarious. Reminds me of the story.
My friend from high school, she sometimes doesn't like always get things.

Speaker 1 And she told a story about how she once was invited to like an adult Halloween cost, like adult Halloween party. Not like sexy times, but you know, like.

Speaker 1 When it's like adult Halloween, people sort of like costumes have a different look, you know? They usually are like sexy this, sexy that, or they're just kind of they have like a certain vibe.

Speaker 1 And she went dressed as an MM.

Speaker 1 She went to this party, like a fancy Halloween party, dresses like a kid's costume in an MM. And it's like,

Speaker 1 could you imagine?

Speaker 1 You're the MM and everyone's wearing kind of like,

Speaker 1 you know, sexy costumes. And they're like, yeah, they're like wearing a tuxedo and a masquerade.

Speaker 1 Mask.

Speaker 1 She's an Eminem. And that's reminds me.
That's what this is. Molly as the Gandalf.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Sally's like, oh, my God, I'm so bad with being fake. I just can't.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
I just can't look someone in the face if they've been talking shit about me.

Speaker 1 So then Austin does show up as Hermione, which I love that for him. I didn't know that he was Hermione.
She's my favorite.

Speaker 1 Or as I used to call her

Speaker 1 Hermione. Hermione.
Because before the movies came out, I didn't know how to pronounce the names. Yeah, I just called her Hermione.

Speaker 1 I still don't know how to pronounce it, to be be honest i'm like hermony harmiony i think hormones hormones hormones granger um also ted boys for griffin dorn

Speaker 1 uh so craig craig meanwhile he's dressed as um what's his face from hook um

Speaker 1 ruffio how dare you not know who i am i'm ruffio oh my god okay so craig comes dressed as ruffio he was wearing his big blow-dried hair which he wore at the bravo con it's like where'd he come up with that hair and i guess it was so successful on ruffio night that he just wore it to BravoCon too.

Speaker 1 But he's got all this mascara on his face, all this eyeliner and mascara that's like, looks like it's melting off, you know? And he is so proud of this.

Speaker 1 And he's another Sally who's like, it's from Hook. That was a book, you know, like dumbass.

Speaker 1 And as he goes to each person and no one knows who he is, you see him just start to crumble. Yeah.
And it just, this is all it takes. Like every person is like, who? He's like, come on, man.

Speaker 1 It's from Hook. Nobody gets it.
And by the end of this episode, he's just furious. And I think it's because his costume has been denied.
Yeah, I think.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, he looks like he's in Mad Max. That's his first problem.
Because when I saw the previews, I thought it was a post-apocalyptic party when I saw Craig.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, they're doing a Mad Max party. But then I saw Austin dressed as

Speaker 1 Harry Potter. I was like, oh, maybe they're doing a movie party.
I was like, I don't know. I don't get it.
I'll see what happens. But this was not what I thought.
Also,

Speaker 1 like a far cry from the Jay Gatsby and Dorian Gray suggestions from chat GPT I'd have to say

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 so he's like I'm the leader of the lost boys and like oh that's nice I'm holes I represent holes

Speaker 1 I'm lost

Speaker 1 brief yo looking for holes I don't know and um so they kind of flirt a little bit but awkwardly and um she she says Sally's like oh Craig asked me if he could play with my gun he thought I met in a sexual way.

Speaker 1 So then Craig's like, mommy, my hair was better before the wind got it.

Speaker 1 So people keep mingling.

Speaker 1 Rodrigo wears a shirt that says, I'm Don Quixote. And then Madison arrives dressed like a little man.
And no one really understands who she is. She's like, hi, Shep, you know who I am?

Speaker 1 He's like, no, tell me about yourself. I'm Shepard Rose.

Speaker 1 And she holds up his book. And he's like, oh, my God, you nailed it.
Shorts and a Blazer. I might explore that in the near future.

Speaker 1 And she looked like the Danish judge from

Speaker 1 Great Bridge Bake Off. What was her name again?

Speaker 1 Remember the Danish judge that was on that show?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I forgot her name.
That's funny. She totally looked like her.

Speaker 1 So it's like, I did it better than you, though. Okay, but I did get you a gift, Winner.
And he's like, you did? She goes, yeah, I got you

Speaker 1 your own shark tooth necklace.

Speaker 1 Gosh, wow, I mean, you nailed it. I think shorts and a blazer is a thing I might explore in the near future.
That might be a wonderful decision for this lonesome dove.

Speaker 1 All the bitches get shark tooth. And then we see a clip of Shep giving Sienna that

Speaker 1 and still being embarrassingly hilarious.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 now they go outside and Craig's like, oh, hey, Austin.

Speaker 1 So Shep is like, look, she dressed as me, everybody. Holding up his book.
And Craig's like, is that the best thing that's ever happened to you? Madison, you're way too well dressed to be Chef.

Speaker 1 And Rodrigo's like, the only thing she's missing is a 21-year-old girl on her arm. But other than that, Chef's kiss.

Speaker 1 So then Charlie arrives, and she's dressed as Daisy Buchanan.

Speaker 1 So, oh, she really.

Speaker 1 She probably asked ChatChat GPT, what would Craig come dressed as? She's like, okay, I'll be Daisy. But alas, she's the only one.
I know.

Speaker 1 I like that Chat GPT even knows that they're going to be together. Chat GPT told them to dress like a couple.

Speaker 1 They just didn't listen. They all are like, oh my God, you look amazing.
Who's Daisy Buchanan again? And Trust like, I'm Daisy Buchanan from the Great Gatsby. Where are you?

Speaker 1 You ever see Hook?

Speaker 1 It was a movie that was not well received. And I'm a character in it.
And I think it was based on a book.

Speaker 1 You know? Yeah, I'm the leader of the lost boys. And she's like, uh-huh.
So anyway, hi, everybody. And you just see him crumble inside.
He's like, oh,

Speaker 1 I could have been the Gatsby loser. And instead, I chose this.

Speaker 1 Well, also, was Hook actually based...

Speaker 1 Like, was Rufio a character in Peter Pan?

Speaker 1 Because if not, then Craig is not following the rules of the party. Was Rufio a character from Hook? Is Hook not a book? I don't know.
Maybe it was a book.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at, obviously, I'm on the Wikipedia. I don't think it is a book.
I mean, Peter Pan, obviously, it was a book,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think...
I don't know, it was Craig. I mean, guys, this is Craig.
It's like very important for me

Speaker 1 to find out whether or not Craig violated the rules of this party.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it's a literary party. What do you expect? It's Craig.
So Austin whispers, like, oh my God, he's trying so hard.

Speaker 1 And Craig's little, you know, Craig can hear it because he knows Austin's in the room, so he's talking shit about him.

Speaker 1 And he's like, Rufia, i can you can tell austin's talking about me i clock more than he realizes i'm not dumb was that a reference to the the alligator or no

Speaker 1 i clock peter pan jokes so craig is like austin let's do a shot and so i'll say i can make you one

Speaker 1 holes and craig's like okay uh you want to do one with us so they're all getting together to do a shot you know which is always like the which means fights about to come so they do the shots and everything and craig by the way the shot is, they go, Austin says, what is this a shot of?

Speaker 1 And Craig goes, this is all we have. He just pours whatever's in the shaker into three little glasses.
I mean, he doesn't even make a shot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Definitely off the wagon now. So Craig is like, you know, a shot is just a mini drink.

Speaker 1 I mean, talk about a literary party. I mean, the

Speaker 1 word Smith here. So Austin's like, yeah, I've been doing shots the past three years.
I know. I know what a shot is.
Craig is insane right now.

Speaker 1 And Rodrigo goes, Um, Austin really likes to make little digs at Craig, and like, it's, I think it's because he gets FOMO.

Speaker 1 So, Craig, so they do this shot. It takes a while for them to do it, but they do the shot, and um,

Speaker 1 and so Sally is like, That didn't even taste like anything. And Craig's like, Sally is never happy with her shot, yeah, because it's always in your hot tub, Craig.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 Austin is so jealous.

Speaker 1 That's insane right now. I'm not jealous at all, Craig.

Speaker 1 Yeah, did you hear him? You're so jealous. You're locked up in your house, you and your kittens.
Craig, you've been locked up for five years and all of a sudden he emerges and he's fucking having fun.

Speaker 1 Am I right? God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what? I don't even know why it bothers you. Just be yourself, man.
Like, why can't you just be yourself? You're so jealous. What? What? I am.
Okay. All right.
Guess what?

Speaker 1 I am being myself.

Speaker 1 I'm having late nights at my house, partying with everyone. It's been a blast.
And for you to hate on fun, that's silly. It's insane right now.
Oh, wait a second. No, that was my line.

Speaker 1 That's what you should have said. Because if you had said that.
You're supposed to say, you're supposed to say, whoa, Craig is emerged. You started it.

Speaker 1 Craig, I'm not mad, dude. You're insane.

Speaker 1 You're the one that's bitter. You don't know yourself.
Oh, yeah. Shall I switch it around on you and pull a Craig Coniver special? Why are you so unhappy?

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, really? You're the one who's not happy. You're the only person here who's unhappy because you're living a lie.
You're stuck in a relationship and you're not happy.

Speaker 1 Okay, Craig. You don't know anything.
I got cats now, okay?

Speaker 1 And everybody's like, oh, what? And the new girl's like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 So Craig's like, you told me you were jealous that I was single.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, I did not ever say that.

Speaker 1 I did not not ever say that you said no i would never say that i'm not jealous of anything you got going on i promise you very much you said it right after jt said that patricia was a bitch i remember it exactly

Speaker 1 i mean he did kind of say that and uh craig's like okay austin happy people don't tear people down you're not happy

Speaker 1 craig you're the one craig the master of tearing down like craig tears down too i was like and here you are tearing people down i didn't start it Oh, yeah. Well, here you go, walking away.

Speaker 1 Whatever, my blood. Is this

Speaker 1 what is this Austin's new thing? Is to start up by saying, and here you go, walking away. And here you go, tearing people down.
Seeing right now.

Speaker 1 Wow, Craig really flew off the handle quick there. I think it's like

Speaker 1 what happened, Craig?

Speaker 1 Sad. Sad when a storyteller loses his school.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So they fight. He says, Austin says he's a dick and he calls him a fucking loser and it's the end.
Wow. Austin and Craig are going at it for no reason.

Speaker 1 I mean, at least they know, though. They're like, it's episode three.
Nothing's happened. Let's fight.
Let's just fight about something. Who cares? I'll criticize you for having cats now.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's enough for us to go on. Let's just do that.
Yep. Well, everyone, that was fun.
Thanks, everyone, for being here. Thank you for the birthday love.
Thank you, Ronnie. And we love you.

Speaker 1 Happy birthday, buddy. Thank you.
To many more on channel 4. That's right.
And then the next birthday present comes later tonight with the return of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Speaker 1 So we'll be back tomorrow with a full recap of that show, which I'm sure will be very exciting. So thanks, everyone, for being here.

Speaker 1 Talk to you next time, Barlie.

Speaker 1 Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
It's always a party on Allison Block. Our way is the Amber Way.
It's the Foster and the Furious.

Speaker 1 It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto.
Put your hands together for Carly Clapp. Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt.
We never miss her call. It's Diane Call.

Speaker 1 Sunday in the Park with Dylan Clark. Big Yay, it's Emily Gaultier.
Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickolis. Hava Nagila Weber.

Speaker 1 You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, Hugo, we all go for Hugo.
Jamie, she has no less namie. She's our kind of mess, it's Jennifer Messer.
Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.

Speaker 1 She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson.
Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B. K.
Syrah, Syrah, whatever will be, will Lauren Sillsby.

Speaker 1 She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

Speaker 1 Let's give a kiss a Reno to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.
Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the berg. This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.
I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

Speaker 1 She sure is swell. It's Raquel.
Yes, we can. It's Savannah.
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
Darn Skippy, it's Tippy. And our super premium sponsors.

Speaker 1 Make way for AJ Lopez. She's V V IP.
It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Speaker 1 Let's real with Caitlin O'Neill. Put us on a stretcher, it's Charlotte Fletcher.
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.

Speaker 1 Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Hail the Cork Master, the Master of the Cork, Jennifer Corcoran.

Speaker 1 We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo.
She's a total knockout. It's Katie Manock.
In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock. G, it's Lisa H.

Speaker 1 We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron. She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.
Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani. The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters.
She eases our woes, it's Melissa St. Rose.

Speaker 1 There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud. Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska.
She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Speaker 1 Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Please don't stop.
It's Soli and Pop. Let's take off with Tam La Plain.
You'll always get the full story with Tori Parsons. She ain't no shrinking violet couchar.

Speaker 1 We love you guys.

Speaker 1 If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 1 Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.