#2782 RHOA S16E04 Part One: Bank of Trymerica

April 01, 2025 55m Episode 2782 Explicit

This is part one of a two-part recap!

Brit reveals herself to be a true tryhard on The Real Housewives of Atlanta when she throws a fit at a bank party for zero reason and announces that she’s got a pistol. Meanwhile, Drew records … something with Hot Dog Dubin and Shamea records something with someone who most likely doesn’t specialize in weiners. To watch this recap on video, listen to our White Lotus bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Download Audio

Listen and Follow Along

Speed:

Full Transcript

We've both been on a decorating journey lately, so we're just like really happy to have found our sponsor, Revival Rugs. Revival's founders didn't want to spend thousands on a new rug, but they didn't want to settle for mass-produced cheap alternatives either.
Revival is a global company with teams in the U.S. as well as weaving regions in India, Turkey, and Morocco.
They blend traditional techniques with contemporary designs. And let me tell you something.
I got a Revival rug, and I actually to put it in the bedroom and it's under the bed right now. And I absolutely love it.
It had been hardwood floors all this time. And to actually put my feet out of the bed in the morning and have them touch that beautiful, beautiful rug, it feels so luxurious and so lovely.
I am beyond thrilled with it. And the ordering experience, the shipping experience, I mean, everything was just so

easy and fast.

If you're in the market for a new rug, check out Revival Rugs. Visit RevivalRugs.com slash WWC and use code CRAPPINS20 for 20% off your first order.
That's RevivalRugs.com slash WWC code CRAPPINS20. One more time, revivalrugs.com slash WWC with code C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S 20 to save 20% off your order.
Ready to electrify your drive? Hyundai's cutting-edge EV lineup is about to change everything you thought you knew about electric vehicles. Prepare to be captivated by a range that's as bold as it is brilliant.

From the lightning-fast Ioniq 5 and Ioniq 6, charging from 10 to 80% in a mere 18 minutes, to the Tech Pack cabin's boasting highway driving assist and blind spot collision warning, Hyundai EVs are redefining the electric experience. And with America's best warranty, including a 10-year, 100,000-mile limited electric battery warranty, you'll drive with unmatched confidence.
Hyundai's EVs aren't just the future. They're the now you've been waiting for.
Learn more about Hyundai's EVs at HyundaiUSA.com. Call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
America's best warranty claim based on total package of warranty programs. See dealer for limited warranty details.
See your Hyundai dealer for further details and limitations. So I just used NerdWallet's card finder tool to find a better card for me.
And listeners, this is genius. All you have to do is answer a few questions and in minutes, you'll get matched with recommendations tailored to you.
I'm discovering cards I didn't even know existed and the matching was on point. The best part? No research needed.
The nerds already did that for us. So if you, like me, want to easily find the right card for you, go to nerdwallet.com to get matched today.
Terms and conditions apply.

Credit products subject to lender approval.

See nerdwallet.com for details. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Well, hello everybody and welcome to What's What Crappens? A podcast for all the crap we love to talk about.
On eel broths. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben.
Hi Ben, How are you? Oh, I'm just absolutely fabulous. How are you, Ronnie? Good, darling.
We just arrived back in our homes from Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. What a weekend.
Such a great time out there, you guys. Incredible.
Thank you so much for coming. So good to talk to you.
So great to hear from you. So great to hug you.
We are not on the road this coming weekend, but the following weekend, we're back out. We're going to be in, are you ready? Because this is the last, well, it's the last, that's not really the last leg, but we're going to be in Boston and then Detroit and then Chicago, Chicago sold out.
Sorry. And then we're going to be in two shows in Texas, one in Austin, and then in Dallas.
That's May 9th and 10th. And then the 15th, we're in Las Vegas.
We have got two new show dates. We will confirm them to you once we get them.
But for now, that's where they are. Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, Las Vegas.
So go over to WatchWhatwhatcrappens.com for your ticket links and calendar. And also that's where you'll find links to our Patreon, which is where you find our What Loan Is No recaps, as well as our videos like we're on right now.
And every day that we're not doing a live show. And then tonight, it's too late for you to hear it now,

but tonight we're doing Crappy Hour every other

Monday night. It's live on YouTube.

And we try to stream it to Instagram too,

but YouTube is the most reliable, so go there.

And that's that.

I just want to say with Chicago,

Chicago I think is sold out, but

they may release more tickets. I'm not sure,

but they may.

That's not an official line,

but our experience in the past is that

sometimes they will release some things

Thank you. They may release more tickets.
I'm not sure, but they may. That's not an official line, but our experience in the past is that sometimes they will release some things.
So just keep an eye on that. If you wanted to go to Chicago, keep an eye.
And we'll try to announce if they release, if possible. But hopefully we can get some more people in there because we're going to have a great time there.
Yeah. Use the ticket links from our website because they are the actual ticket links.
Don't just search tickets because you'll get StepHub or some bullshit while they'll try to charge you. Yeah, there's like vivid seats.
Yeah, don't get scammed. We're Beyonce, girl.
Okay, we're not Beyonce-ing you. Okay.
Here we are with Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 16, episode four with the vault. On the plane on the way home, I was watching this, and there was a teenage kid sitting next to me, and very Lachlan-esque, like, string bean kid, or whatever.
He was listening to Star Wars soundtracks, like, all of them. I mean, he listened to a lot of Star Wars.
I kept looking at his phone, I was like, wow. And he was, like out.
He was like beating his fingers to it. He's like, yeah, fucking yeah, fucksy, fuck yeah.
And he was watching my Real Housewives of Atlanta. I had the captions on so he could watch it.
I think this is the first time this man has been exposed to Housewives. He was trying not to laugh, but he watched that whole episode.
So I'm proud of Real Housewives of Atlanta. You know, you're reaching out across the aisle to children.
Children from Texas who now love you. I was really hoping that I would connect with my flight attendant.
I felt like she might watch Real Housewives in general. And I thought she might be amused that I was watching Real Housewives of Atlanta.
So if she was starting to approach and Portia was on the screen, I'd pause a little bit.

Because I don't know if she's seen the new episodes yet.

She may not recognize Kelly, but she'll definitely recognize Portia. So I'll press play as she gets really close.

So she sees Portia playing on my screen.

And then she'll probably bond.

I don't know what I expect out of those things.

I do it all the time.

I expect to become friends with the flight attendants. Just like anything.
i'm like can i get like a little snack and uh it was a swing and a miss like nothing she wasn't like oh my god god i love porsche i was hoping there'd be like a moment like that nope nothing so no you it looks like you found you found your you found your whale yeah i got some laughter uh you know at the screen But I also just like the idea of Real Housewives of Atlanta and this kid's mind playing to themes of Star Wars. Galaxy far, far away.
I know something about Charles Oakley. In a city far, far away.
Darth Portia. That's just Candy.
Candy's doing the score. Shamil's like, wait, I'm singing on the Death Star

Drew that blew up no

no I played on it Drew you're lying

it doesn't exist anymore no I'm pretty sure I just played

on the Death Star

well I have to say

it brought me back to a lot of Star Wars music

and all of it had better vocals than Drew's

Let's go. doesn't exist anymore no i'm pretty sure i just played on the death star well i have to say um it brought me back to a lot of star wars music and all of it had better vocals than drew's song from this this is a funny drew even doing drew will walk into a studio and they'll play one song and she's seeing something singing something else like or she'll talk the lines she'll be like and then i pass him by what are you? Can you sing the songs? Can you sing one note out of these songs, please, ma'am? She, in the recording booth, hilarious.
The whole episode was hilarious. I am absolutely loving this season so far.
I hope people are loving it too. I don't want to be an outlier.
I hope that people are feeling it. I don't know.
I haven't taken the temperature of the room just yet because it's only been four episodes a little early but i think it's really good so far and i was cracking up and the thing that surprised me the most about this episode was that it looks like this was our episode um uh leading up to kenya's big flame out where she like does something to brit that like is rumored to be at worst revenge porn at best, just like shady nude

shots on the internet. I don't know what it was,

but we're all

coming into the season, we're like, Kenya, she

just goes too far. And yet, I found

myself at the end of this episode being like,

fuck Brit.

She's trying so hard.

One of the most interesting things about this episode

is that it's kind of turned people on revenge porn. Now people are like, fuck yeah, what's wrong with revenge porn? Bring back Kenya.
Yeah, I was totally on Kenya's side about this. Well, let's ride in the streets.
There's revenge porn. And now they're like, yeah, what's wrong with revenge porn? Who cares? Because this girl is so fucking terrible.
And she is terrible. She's so thirsty.
She's trying so hard. It's she's just congratulations you're a terrible sister and you're a terrible real housewife we don't know about wife yet because we haven't gotten that far into the show but it's only episode four and you're already a terrible housewife and a terrible sister i mean that's a lot like how did you turn the i how did you get people on kenya's kenya slash revenge porn side how did you do that so quickly and so easily like she wasn't really like i wasn't anti-brit coming into it i was like okay brit brit's doing her thing she's trying to you know do whatever but by the end of this episode i was like kenya like you were so thirsty you were trying it so hard and you were going up against the legend and like you don't even kenny didn't even like you're like a mosquito to kenya she didn't even bother really coming for you because if she really did she would have railroaded you but unfortunately next week she goes too far i guess i guess with the h1n1 or whatever because kenya it ended up taking kenya down in the end so well we'll see well yeah it does and i'm sure is that a mosquito no i don't think what's the one that maybe like west of you west nile yeah malaria with the west nile virus there just yeah yeah it was we're we're not going to sell the name of h1n1 but um we'll see obviously next week the pendulum could swing right back it probably will but for right now right now, I think- I could, but it's pretty amazing.
It's a miracle that you, you know, and as I get older, I don't believe in miracles as much. Well, that's not true.
I do. But I'd like to say I don't believe in miracles as much, but I'm team twirl.
Me? It's been a long time. And you're also making Kenya look reasonable, which has not happened on this show in a very long time, where Kenya looks like the reasonable, sane person in an argument.
She's like, what are you even fighting about, lady? She asked you about a wedding band. Oh, no.
Oh, killer. Get out of pistol.
You're an idiot, Brit. Yeah.
Why didn't they fire Brit right away? Let's not even wait till that moment in the show. Or should we just wait? Should we just wait till the end? I'm not even sure what you're asking and are you saying why are they firing for oh kind of threatening gun violence or whatever and i say oh yeah she didn't technically threaten it but she did say like well i have my pistol so i mean if kenya's gonna get fired for putting some boobies up there she should get fired for threatening murder you know yeah i mean according to married to medicine it's attempted assault and battery so if dr gregory had any say you know he would come out and sing his solo that's some if he had some say or if he had some song he and dr scott should really do a duet together andy was like do you guys want to start a band of Of course, Scott was the first one to be like, I'm down.
I'm down. Well, the court of Ben and Ronnie, the Benron court, the 9th District circuit of Benron court is in recess and will return or adjourn or unadjourn after next week's episode.
And then I'm sure we

will then have more adjudications to dole out to everyone.

But before we break for recess, I will say revenge porn is bad, but threatening gun violence is

worse. So team twirl on this one.
And I would like to see Kenya continue to pretend she has a beauty shop that's open because everything that i've read says that beauty shop is not open ever yeah i want to know is this just a set piece and she's like i dropped 400k into it i'm like well you dropped for more than that into mark and you married him so i don't i don't know what to tell you about i'm glad you paid for that house yeah and then she got fired not long after um uh yeah well well we'll we'll see i forgot i was gonna say but you know what that's okay you know what that's okay um just say the add master over here because and then because we i literally just walk about taxes no i don't think people realize it's not like oh we we flew in before like i walked in my door. I got off the plane i went and got a sandwich and a coffee and i ate my sandwich i walked in the door and sat down and here we are like i have not even entered i have not entered the depths i have not seen my kitchen i don't even know what's going on in there there could be ants from the weekend i don't know so i'm not saying i'm not saying this to be like look at me i'm a'm a martyr.
Although I am. I am always a martyr.
Well, no, that's that. There's the Jesus story.
Jesus was basically crucified because he was talking about housewives monstops. They're like, we're going to make you talk about housewives.
Jesus died for your podcast. But it's more to say that I'm Looney Tunes right now, because now i'm fighting the twin impulses of like food coma airplane stuff but also extreme caffeine and i'm like i'm ready let's dive in let's dive into this because i've got a lot of opinions and i'm just gonna let them loose throughout the podcast instead of before the podcast yeah okay so let's get going here we go the vault the episode's called the vault i'm calling this Bank of Trimerica.
It's an episode about Carrie Strug, The Vault. Let that sink in.
Oh. I was like, hey, didn't she hit that girl in the knees with a bat? That was Carrie Strug.
That's Tanya and Nancy. Carrie Strug Nancy.
Tanya and Nancy. Tanya and Nancy.
Tanya and Nancy. Tanya and Nancy.
Tanya and Nancy. Tanya and Nancy.
Tanya and Nancy. Tanya and Nancy.
Tanya and Nancy. Tanya and Nancy.

Tanya and Nancy.

Tanya and Nancy. Thank you.
I believe. I believe that was the Atlanta Olympics.
I don't care. I'm still bitter that all those Olympians get on cereal boxes.
I'm like, what about bloggers and podcasters? Where's my cereal box? It's about time someone said it. And now we said it.
Care about Carrie Strug. Well, you can jump.
Okay, so here we are. We start with Angela Britt walking with a mimosa.
Oh, no, with mimosa the dog. Oh, and this is another reason I can't with Britt.
Let the dog walk. I mean, the dog is stuck in your house all day listening to you complain about granite instead of marble.
Okay? Because your husband is too cheap to let you get the finishes you want. And now we have to watch you carry the dog.
She has a baby stroller for her dog. The dog's outside.
Let it walk around. And then when they sit down, she's like, okay, now you can come sit on my lap, dog.
I'm like, oh my God. Just let the dog live its life.
Yeah. I just, for some reason, it really bothers me that the dog's named Mimosa.
I can't explain it. If you told me, if literally anyone in their audience said that they had a dog named mimosa i'd be like oh that's funny but for some reason brit naming her dog mimosa it bothers me i think i'm still like feeling the aftershocks of that cater dinner she had last week where she had her assistant dress up in black tie for no reason and then they served like the lobster tails so i think that she has like this thing where she tries to be fancy but she doesn't quite know how to do it so she's like i'm gonna need my dog mimosa and you're like uh okay sure yeah she's trying she's trying to sound she she and she's just she sounds kind of trashy you know because mimosas aren't good and i'm sorry i don't care what anybody says mimosas and everyone's like it's the healthy drink for bros the healthy alcoholic drink just pour fucking vodka in your cocoa puffs like the rest of us it's a fancy ass drink yeah i've definitely gotten out of my vodka i've definitely gone to that place in my life where like mimosas are nice but why not just drink champagne which by the way it sounded very much like it would be a tagline that's like definitely a heather de bro tagline like in the works right mimosas are nice but why not just have champagne well if your name was champagne that would work yeah otherwise it really has no it's like otherwise people it's like it's just like a strange assessment it's a strange strange declaration it's not so much a tagline as a declaration and it's like but like heather de bros are like but i like tourniquets better this season we're just gonna have them take stances on things with the opening credits sometimes sunny but i prefer clouds clouds are great you know what's even better shade that would be good if someone was like a weather lady.
Yeah. Okay.
So, they're catching up, you know, and Angela's just working so hard. Because she bought five damn houses to redo at the same time.
I love Angela. I love Angela.
And I really, I have not taken the temperature on this, too. I don't know where people stand with Angela, but I love her.
I also love that she has that bubble voice

where it sounds like there's a permanent bubble in her

throat.

I haven't tried my impression.

A carton of Benson and Hedges.

Yeah.

I don't know how to do her voice.

I haven't tried it yet, ever, like that.

It's just coming out right now.

I just love listening to her talk.

She's like,

Hey, girl. Howard's like a little wig.
So Britt tells us, they talk about how much they love Home Depot. And Britt's like, yeah, Home Depot's such a vibe.
And then she tells us, yeah, I want to know, Angela, because, you know, I don't have a lot of girlfriends. Because females, they don't really love me.
Like, they love me or they hate me or they hate me. I'm just that girl that everybody wants to be.
So we know she's an asshole. I mean we already knew she was an asshole but this episode is really the Brits and asshole in cement.
Congratulations. You got your asshole on the walk of Mimosa.
Everyone wants to be her. An insurance agent with a dog named mimosa uh so angela's like i really want to be that insurance lady in a denim top somebody please what do i have to do so angela asks how the husband is and then brit just starts uh coughing she's like um something like flew into my mouth and it's so gross which was funny and then angels like breathe through your nose you might want to have that looked into might i suggest metal straws i mean anything at the her nose is literally concaved all the way to the back of her face on this part they just took out this whole they took out the whole bridge of her nose and just left a little part with holes in it.
There's traffic. So Angela's like, let's get out of the let's get out of the wilderness.
Let's get out of the wilderness. Sounds nothing like her, but I'm going to have to commit to it for the rest of the episode, and I'll come back next week with something else.
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappens commercial.
If you're a parent or share a fridge with someone, Instacart is about to make grocery shopping so much easier. Because with Family Carts, you can share a cart with your partner and each add the items you want.
Since between the two of you, odds are you'll both remember everything you need. And this way, you'll never have to eat milkless cereal again.
So minimize the stress of the weekly shop with Family Carts. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes.
Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees apply.
For three orders in 14 days, excludes restaurants. Have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire? Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families, from ancient empires to modern monarchs, to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty.
Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was a teen sensation in circus shows featuring dancing bears, burlesque performers, and blood-soaked chariot races. But when her star came crashing down, she clawed her way from rock bottom to the very top, using everything from comedy to espionage to get there.
Empress Theodora didn't just survive. She revolutionized women's rights across the Byzantine Empire, like changing laws to let women divorce men, own property, and bring abusive men to justice.
For all her work in pioneering, she's remembered as the most powerful Byzantine empress in history. Follow Even the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen to Even the Royals early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus. So they like sit down and everything

and Bri's asking like

how's everything going? How's everything going

with your family? And she's like

family is everything.

Yeah and she goes yeah family is

everything. And then

she's like yeah I hate my sister too. She's a

bitch too. I fucking hate my family.

You hate your family? Yeah. Family is everything.

Yeah we should have known she was about to talk

about some shit going on in her family when she goes

family is everything. You're like

Thank you. bitch too i fucking hate my family you hate your family yeah family's everything yeah we should have known she's about to talk about some shit going on in her family when she goes family is everything you're like oh shit's going down so she's like their families and just keep saying family is everything it's very real housewives in new jersey or my family actually my family was like that my whole life my family was like my family's everything and then they fought over money and now they don't speak.
They haven't spoken for like 30 years. Good job, guys.
Turns out Ronnie is actually related to Angela Oakley. He's like, this is my aunt.
I had the nerve to ask Charles Oakley to clean a countertop. Oh, yeah.
This made me so happy, this part. So she's like, well, my sister and I, we're not seeing eye to eye on a lot of things and my mom is in the middle and here's the thing you know as a married woman we we shouldn't include our family the dynamics in our marriage but i made that mistake and um then she basically what nothing just listening okay laughing uh laughing.
My mother has an opinion. She was brave enough to share that opinion with Charles.
And she's like, oh, man, not Charles. I'm like, yeah, they had a big argument about cleaning up.
Man, Charles really wants those counters clean. Because remember, he almost disowned his own daughter in the first episode.
He's like, remember when I came home and the dirty she's like i cleaned the kitchen dad he's like no you didn't not enough don't fuck with charles oakley's countertops clean them off that was my favorite when when i thought like oh damn this is probably a really bad argument and then you find out that it was just about cleaning things i was like this is great and she's like well i'll just imploded and you know even though they've apologized my husband feels like you know what happened yesterday so basically mom has a lot of opinions on how things should be done charles has a lot of his own opinions on how things should be done and he holds grudges that's what that is your mom doesn't want to clean the kitchen just say it your mom doesn't want to clean the kitchen and charles oakley is too rich to argue about it and you're like clean the kitchen or we're not going to support you and she's like i'm not cleaning the kitchen i'm the mother and she's like okay well he's not going to support you now and she's like what am i what the hell you have five houses she's like all you had to do was clean the countertops i think it's that i think the mom it's not that the mom didn't want to clean i think the mom weighed in on what the best practice is to clean something and charles was like no i clean it this way and the mom was like well you really should do it this way because that's more of what a mom would do that's what a mother-in-law would do say oh you do it that way huh you know when my me passed away, my mom, one of her greatest angers that it was hard for her to let go of was that my grandma would come into the kitchen after this big long dinner and she would insist on doing dishes. And my mom was like, I don't want you to do dishes.
Stop it. Just go relax.
Because my meemaw insisted on taking the iron pan. What is it? The cast iron pan.
The cast iron pan and scrubbing it all the way clean. And my mom would spend like months getting this thing built up with all the shit you have to do on those things.
And then she's like, no, this is clean and this is the way it's going to be. I'm not eating out of a dirty pan, Rhonda.
I'm not doing it. And that was one of the things my mom couldn't let go of in the end it's not crazy so i get it that's totally by the way that's that's a totally valid valid not give up like that's a valid like oh yeah uh i think i told you that like was buried in a pay less shoe box it was not cast iron coffin um no it was one of those like uh like really cheap ross dress for less stickless pans or whatever someone's someone stayed with us recently and um they used the cast iron skillet and then they like like i was out i was out and they used it

and then they like let it soak and i was like i was like first of all who told you you could use the cast iron skillet but second of all you don't let cast iron skillet soak i came back it was just like soaking with like suds in it and i literally who i'm getting triggered right now just thinking Get out of my house

So Angela says, you know, and I take care of my family financially, and that comes from Charles. So I'm Britsink.
Yeah, I get it. You know, sometimes we try to send our help or like resources and it like backfires.
No pun to the gun I bring up later in the episode. This is Chekhov's

backfire. I just said backfire

so you know someone's gonna be threatened

to be shot later.

And I'm just like, how does it backfire?

And Britt's like, well,

I said, also, okay, so I say,

Mike, my sister needs some help. And then

my sister, when she's mad, she's like,

oh, he's trying to be my daddy.

And I'm like, no, my husband's not trying to be your daddy.

No one can replace my father.

So,

yeah, a lot of

tension between Britt's sisters

and Mike is

what we're learning here.

Yeah, and she has a middle sister,

Cher, and her older sister's

Tiara. What a

name of three sisters. Brittany, Cher, and Tiara.
Definitely sounds like a girl group. It's like the 90s.
I'm sorry. Go ahead, Ben.
She says the dad was the focal point for all of them, which makes sense. He died suddenly because he got a blood clot.
They were all surprised and so brit says that her sister share took it the hardest and their relationship has just never been the same yeah which we find out later is kind of bogus so then not that they didn't take it hard but that this is the reason that they're not talking she's like she died because my dad died of a blood clot it's like i think something's missing here so then um now they walk on and they're talking about the party. There's going to be a big party.
It's going to be in a bank vault. And Angela's even going to include Shamia, even though they got off on the wrong foot.
So then we see the flashback to them arguing and Shamia being like, oh, whatever. I'm cool with your 90s nose.
And she's like, whatever, Flava Flav!

Which is still great. So then

Brittany's like, or Britt's like,

she's like, so what do you think she meant by that?

And Angela's like, you know, she just felt like I

was acting. And I'm like, no, that's just who I

am for my friend. Like, you know,

I just like to show up

for my friend. You know, shimmy through like to show up for my friend you know shimmy

through her jabs and i through mine and i'm open to hashing it out and moving forward so brit is you know it's hoping that they can they can you know settle it and angela's just like you know you know you know that mean energy when you see it and so of course this now opens the door for to talk about Kenya.

Yeah, she's like,

well, I like Shamia, but

you know,

Kenya, So, of course, this now opens the door for Brit to talk about Kenya. Yeah, she's like, well, I like Shamia, but, you know, Kenya's mean.
You know, she was really snooty. And she's still mad because Kenya said, what about your wedding band? And now she's going to make it the biggest storyline in the world.
You're trying too hard. You're a try hard.
You need to, like, find something else to do. You're exhausting.
Yeah, yeah i mean if you can't deal with kenya's light shade what are you even doing on this show i think that she's trying to be like i'm a new generation i'm gonna stand up to these aunties but she she's just coming off like a kind of a bratty kid right so she's like yeah all i see in my mind when she's talking like this is like stop stop elder abuse. You know, those bumper stickers.
I'm like, yeah, stop it. Leave us alone.
We've worked hard. We went to war this generation.
We did. So Brit's like.
Kenya does have a persona that could like probably ruffle a couple of feathers. But like, who wouldn't have a preconceived notion with a personality like hers so basically she's like yeah i've watched a show and kenya think she can just

be snobby to anybody but i'm gonna take her down and she kind of did the end god i hate when bad

people win i hate it i mean kenya kind of took herself down because you know she went too far

as usual but still this girl was the impetus impetus get out of here impetus oh people yeah saying that to you people are just like you learn between his legs so then we go over to shamia's place and we hear her song playing it's like baby go on relax back baby you know i'm gonna handle all of that never had they never had somebody that can relax relax put yourself on this table you'll get a massage and relax put your feet over here put some oil on that feet relax light a candle and relax put on some yanni a great song. Yeah, I like a song just telling you to sit down.
You know, because I feel like most songs are like, Get up, hit the dance floor, everybody dance and put your arms up. I like one that's just like, Sit down, you fat bastard.
Your feet are swollen. You had too much salt today.
Sit down, you fat bastard. You sweat going up the stairs.
Snooze eight more minutes. Was just eight more minutes.
Go back to sleep. Don't dance.
Put up your feet and stay in that chair. I like song just called don't dance so then um shimmy a sister comes to wanna and this is so us by the way i was like was this produced by watch what crappens because yes they go have this beautiful so they do this whole camera set up by the pool and shimmy is ready to to give america her new song don't dance sit down instead you fat sweaty bastard and tawana's like i can't wait to hear it and then it's like fucking leaf blower every single time it is the whole scene and like they're so committed to that like outdoor setup they're like no we are going to continue shooting this we're not going to take it from the top outside.
We are doing it here. She's like, I want to show everyone my pool.
And an entire scene goes by with... In the background.
And then at one point, Shami is like, I'm just going to door dash some olive oil. Hold on a minute.
I'm going to try an because it's so loud it's so loud and so shamia is talking about how music has always been a big part of her life she started off at a choir and church and then she sang in a group with carrie hilson and then she was in a group called co-ed and she did all this stuff, and she just loves singing, singing, singing, singing. God, she just loves to sing, which is all a setup for when later on when Portia is a total asshole to her when she plays her song.
This is what this is in retrospect. Music has always been very important to Shamia, but Shamia hasn't always been very important to music, is basically what i got from this scene um but i wish her luck with her new solo rain rain go away come again some other day i i really like the remix went like this here sing the song you do it i'll do the remix part so she's decided she's going to apologize to angela because it was not nice to go after her terrible physical appearance and she should be going after her soul like most people you know she wants to be like more death eater and less like joan rivers you know so she's gonna make this up by door dashing or instacarting some olive oil and somehow turn this into a prop which shimmy is doing a lot of things i really don't like which is multiple singles and um olive oil humor just You know what I mean? Wasting a full bottle of olive oil on a prop.
Because olive oil is expensive. Okay? It's going to get more expensive.
And at the end of this scene, Tara, it's so great! And at the end of this scene, she's like, Oh, I hate that damn leaf blower. Maybe I'll buy the house next door, too, so they can't do that anymore.
Yeah. Shamia at one point, it is funny, though, because Shamia's like, you know, I was a smooth criminal for telling her that she looks like Latoya Jackson.
I mean, and how am I going to moonwalk that back? Am I right? Your nose is mine. Oh, I'm just playing.

So then we got a Porsche and she was, by the way, she,

she reached the number of legally acceptable Michael Jackson puns before they

actually owed the estate something clearly.

That's it.

There's blood on this dance floor. Okay.
And we're going to clean it up.

Hold on. Oh my goodness.
Look, here comes my cleaning lady, Diana. Why are you so dirty? Dirty Diana.
Am I right? I'm so bad. She has a, I'm looking at the Shamia in the mirror.
I'm asking her to change her ways. So then we go over to Portia, who's at a WeWork or something, pretending she has a whole building dedicated to Portia's line.
Now, I was a little worried because they keep calling her line Pamper, and I was like, that's taken. You know, because I was like, who wants to have a line named after Pampers? Like, come on now.
But it's called Pampered. Pampered with Portia.
Isn't Pampered take it? It's got to be Pampered. Pampered should be taken, right? Stom in by Portia.
Sure. Bronny.
She's named after different items. Pampered.
Let me see. Pampered, pampered, pampered.
Pampered by Portia is theorsche is the first one so you know porsche serious she at least got the first google search it's pretty good what about pampered chef oh pampered by porsche is number two pampered chef comes up first and then pampered by porsche but the next one for me is pampered tails which oh i get pampered auto care and then pampered chef stoneware and then pampered chef pizza stone i still have an image of carrie schogg on my screen because i looked her up um and it's her looking like carrie schrock is giving an image she's giving a look at the camera like why are you looking at my picture right now it's kind of amazing she's like trying to be polite but she's also like really um like off perv she is she's definitely giving like a like who the do you think you are she's like um hi i'm trying to move on with my life i put it up on screen so everyone can see she's like really upset to be on the podcast right now it's a little exclusive for crap then demands members you can see carrie's drug right now oh yeah she's like oh could somebody straight iron my hair that would be nice thanks how about less picky picky and more irony irony that would be great how about more blow out he blew okay she's like um does porsche have any pampered products for gymnasts is there a specific line for that she's like i am a top gymnast and i have static cling so somebody

i was told this episode would be about a vault and now i'm hearing there's no gymnastics involved so what am i even doing here okay so we're at porsche's place pampered by pampered by pampers and um hey y'all just wanted to make sure we can get together you know because you there's been a big change because I've been focused on anything I could do home, you know. And so that's what we're going to do now.
And Johnny's like, you're going to be Martha Stewart from Decatur. And she's like, Martha Stewart was run out of prison because she had to come out and go get it, okay.
So she basically says she's been selling sheets for the past few years, which I've forgotten about. I think we knew about that, but I've forgotten about it.
Sheets is low-key, one of the most popular Real Housewives of Hustles. Don't forget that Countess Luann also had some sheets, the Countess Collection.
She also sold, I think, flatware. Which is also what, you know, flatware is also how her singing voice is described.
So, Portia. It's also what Brittany asked for when she went in to get a nose.
So, Portia is talking about building my empire. And then when she goes, we're building a billion dollar empire here.

And it goes, it's.

She got a lot of this scene.

The producers kind of hate Portia this year.

Because she's like, you know, her agent's like, so are we talking about ambassadors?

Because Drew reached out to me and she wants me to sit down with her and talk to her about doing work for her and Dennis.

I was like, wow, Drew, really?

the out to me and she wants me to sit down with her and talk to her about doing work for her and Dennis. So I was like, wow, Drew, really? Now you're going to try and come for Portia's agent? Really? Yeah.
Yeah. And so of course she doesn't, uh, Portia does not like that.
And she's like, she's like, yeah, well, we're always looking for ambassadors, but they have to be serious about their content, sort of implying that Drew is not very good at doing what she's doing, which is not a surprise. So yeah, he says that she reached out with Dennis and he said, he's like, well, you know, he says, Dennis says, well, you're well connected and trusted in the music business.
And there's like a lot of things you can do to help us out with Drew's music career. And it was just like random because i was like when did dennis become quincy jones which is a question i think a lot of us have been asking where did he get qualified to do any of this aside from a children's album he produced uh three years ago yeah and she's like well as far as drew there are some other things that she's not done according to her contract that go nakedaked Corporate will handle.
And she tells us Go Naked Hair does have a full-blown team. Attorneys, we have admin, we have HR.
And then as she says each of these things, the editors keep popping up. Portia.
HR. Portia.
A.K.A. Portia.
But then they keep spelling the name different. I didn't even notice that the names were spelled differently.
I did see that it was Porsche, Porsche, Porsche. But it was definitely giving like...
We have Admin, a.k.a. Porsche.
We have HR, a.k.a. Porsche-ia.
It was definitely very Karen Huger in that moment. It was very much like she was acting like this was like a Fortune 500 company it's all you yeah so um oh really you're trying to serve mush today as well well someone's copying me the original must seller commercials here comes one right now But now we go over to Drew and Ralph.

So this is ralph's first scene of the season uh because he's been living in the basement and of course they they roll that clip again where drew says uh ralph's been living in the basement she tells kenya that and they just have that shot going down the stairs into like the darkness it's a ralph's domain which, which just cracks me up every single time. Why is Drew trying to get this thing out there that she's always outside with her children? Like every time we see her with her children now, she's like, look at us out in the front yard playing ball.
Hey, do you have a backyard? The front yard is very dangerous to be playing ball in all the time. And why are you always outside? I don't believe Drew's always outside.'t believe it in a lot of fake drew storylines i will believe that you pay your chef before i believe that your ass is outside throwing a ball for your children i think that's fair um ralph is doing football drills with the kids and they're running and everything and then drew tries to be funny and she tries to run as well and ralph was like don't dare an Achilles.
And we see footage of Drew tearing her Achilles by doing nothing except running like three feet. So she's saying that Ralph and I are better co-parents than we ever were parents.
And we see this flashback to the therapy session. Yeah, when there were a couple.
And we see a flashback to their therapy session. And I forgot about this line, but this line was amazing.

Where Ralph was like, oh, man, everything's a problem for her.

Because she's like insinutable.

I tried to get her a steak and lobster.

She deserves a Lunchable.

So he's like, you know, all this stuff that you're telling in the magazines and stuff.

Like, narcissist.

He goes, you are a narcissist.

He's like, no, I'm not. Do you even know what that means? And then the producer says, do you know what a narcissist is? She goes, you're going to make me look up narcissist.
Okay. Well, how do you spell that? By the way, Ralph has shown up for his, we've seen his interview look.
He's just wearing, he's wearing a blazer with no shirt and the producers are like why are you wearing no shirt he's like he doesn't have any good answer for it but he's like trying to pull off a look and he's definitely can't do it we also see that he's been really um leaning into his basement life he did like an mtv cribs for his basement and it turns out the basement is actually really awesome there's like a movie theater down there and there's like a whole man cave so he's happy as a kitchen a full kitchen he's fine yeah i'd live in the basement too if drew was upstairs i'd be like bye could you please take off your heels that would be my that would be my thing i would just be on a little radio going drew drew ronnie ronnie please take off your goddamn heels okay tell your glam team to take off their heels too. I'm trying to watch big business again.
Thank you. So, yeah, she's basically, she's saying that he's a narcissist, which seems about right.
And he's like, oh, well, I mean, if that's your experience with me, then that's your experience. And I do apologize for that.
Ha! See, look, guess what? Nurses can't apologize. So, ha! Ha! Then we find out that it's part of their divorce decree that they can't talk to the kids about the divorce.
So, no one's telling the kids anything. They're just like, are you getting divorced? They're like, mm, my lips are sealed.
Okay? Dad's just living in the basement for no reason. Just go throw a ball in the front yard with your mother, okay?

Yeah.

So, yeah, they can't talk about it. But someone brought an article to JoJo.

And so now they have to kind of like navigate it.

And they're not really sure what to do.

Yeah.

And so she tells him, look, take the kids whenever you want.

What the fuck do I care?

And he's like, oh, my God, we're a great a great couple and they are kind of like they still have their chemistry i mean it was terrifying chemistry but they've still got it i don't know maybe they're calling a pique and dorit you know yeah i mean ralph was doing his like like trying to charm america thing where he had his big smile out because he has that enormous smile so he's got the smile and he's being all silly and kind he's like i'm just i'm just ralph i'm just everyone's ralph everyone loves ralph so i don't know isn't he just wacky this is this is what i call fun sliver fun sliver sliver a comedy um the screwball comedy america has fallen in love with sliver the fact that ralph got in trouble for having for spying on his family with cameras now has an actual screening room in his in his apartment which is kind of terrifying it's like why is why is enigma playing so much so kelly i've talked man to wear better underwear So Kelly goes over to Kenya Moore hair spa. Kenya Moore hair spa! And they say hi and everything.
And Kenya is really nice to Kelly because Kenya is also smart. She knows she's going to be mean to Brit and she's going to be nice to Kelly.
And then Kelly will be like, Brit, you're crazy. Kenya is so nice.
It's great game and she's chosen kelly to be her her her little deputy and by the way she also chose kelly because she i think she knows that kelly kelly is worthy of it because i think kelly has been great and kelly is kind of fearless and she does like she does like baby shade like she does she's like a good like baby version of like she's like muppet baby's version of like the realwives of atlanta and i think that i say that in the best possible way right like because we love muppet baby's version of kermit just as much as regular kermit but he's just like the muppet baby baby's version and so i think like brit is not a muppet baby's version brit is just like she's just a garbage version yeah uh so kelly's in, and the premise of this is that Kenya still hasn't opened.

But I can't wait to open, and I want Kelly to be here because she has a waffle restaurant.

Which doesn't really make a lot of sense, but she's doing her sweet Kenya voice.

Like, okay, do you like my hair washing station?

Kelly's like, the hair washing station is

great. Now, where do you make

your waffles?

We don't do that.

Okay, well, you're going to need a waffle iron in here

for this spot to be successful. That's

my key to business. Might I suggest waffle curls?

I'm here.

Sheree walks in.

Did somebody say waffle curls?

They're just putting their hair through the waffles

That's probably going to become a thing on TikTok

Guys, instead of spending all that money

on an unnecessary thing

ditch the flat iron, get a waffle iron

Yeah, if you guys see this happening

I came up with it

Grandpa Rod

The weirdest crimp of all time

Yeah, the waffle crimp

So Kelly is Thank you. the weirdest crimp of all time yeah the waffle crimp so kelly is saying kelly is there to give uh advice you know business owner to business owner and she's like you know i'd love to really be able to witness kelly as an entrepreneur as a girl boss i'm in kenya as a girl boss as a business owner she reminds me a lot of myself.
Just, of course, with 90% less maple syrup. But either way, love her.
100% more working businesses that are open. It's also slightly different.
So Kelly's like, oh, I'm wearing one shoe that's a different color than the other shoe. It's a very Sarah Jessica Parker moment.
I mean, I know you love Kelly. I think i think kelly's a little try hard too but i think she just needs some time to kind of work hard you know yeah she's try hard but i think she just has more upside i think that she has i think that she has something there she has more upside too but i mean we're comparing you know it so but i but like yeah this whole like i'm having a sarah jessica moment she's like we also sometimes serve different color waffles at the restaurant just for sarah j um so kenya's like wait a minute sometimes we just throw waffles out a window let me say why remember the time when waffles used to be

fun?

She's like sitting in a window riding on a waffle.

Remember?

I'll never get you.

Running on a waffle.

But her pen is a waffle also.

I broke my fountain pen again.

I couldn't help but wonder. In a city where I'm always waffling, maybe a waffle is what I really need to do when I sit down in a city.
Like, well, she's young. She's working on it.
She's working on her Sarah J. How are you supposed to date in this city when you don't have any holes, but you have so many divots.
You know... The episode's called Just the Tip.
Just... I couldn't help but wonder, was this a waffle? That's it.
I couldn't help but wonder. Is this a waffle? It's the shortest version of...
Is this a waffle that's it i couldn't help but wonder is this a waffle it's the shortest version of is this a waffle is this the waffle um uh so she they sit down and kenya's like um wait a minute why do you have a bodyguard and we see this like guy the size of a wall at the door like there's a waffle guard and uh turns out jiselle's just outside waiting for her ride don't worry so ken it turns out that kelly kelly's ex she's like you know you have an mark and i have an mark meaning that she also has her ex is also named mark and he is a dipshit and um he was abusive and he made physical threats um in court i mean this guy's a real idiot he he threatened to kill her in court in court on a court record my god can we get some subtlety with our threats of violence my god whatever happened to the poetry of violence i mean gee what happened to have a breathing on a phone? But, um... This is really bad.
But this is... Sorry.
Welcome back to the news. Get ready before you...
Waffles. Welcome back to the news, guys.
Am I right? Waffle news. Welcome.
This is also why sometimes Kenya just... If you don't know how to take Kenya, this scene could have gone very differently if this was someone else.
Because Kenya's like, wait a minute, you're saying Mark? I'm spelling his name because I don't want to say his name. Oh, so Mark, okay, so you're saying he was abusive? And she goes, well, I've had some situations.
And she goes, were there physical threats? And she's like, yeah, I have a restraining order. Do you have proof? She's like, yeah.
I'm like, Kenya, I mean, Kenya, to a lot of people, I think that could sound like Kenya's kind of questioning the veracity of these statements, but she knows how to take Kenya. And she's like, no, no, yeah, he threatened me.
He fully threatened me in court. And she's like, you know, we were in court and they actually held him in contempt and he threatened to kill me.
And she says, unfortunately unfortunately he can't see the girls right now because of the threats towards me um and the judge awarded her restraining order so god that's so that's why she has the bodyguard it's like actually it seems like the first really good use of a bodyguard ever on i know because normally it's like yeah it's like you're right well you know what she uh she threw up my burrito so i've got a bodyguard now in case because i do not stand for that sort of activity with a burrito i will not have people misbehaving in a wine barn um but yeah this guy sounds like a real piece of shit and he sounds awful it's ridiculous that she has to have a bodyguard and um it's it's not even a funny bodyguard it's like it's like normally our the bodyguards are usually here for petty reasons and she has to have like a legitimate bodyguard and that's like so fucked up and this guy sounds like the worst worst person ever so um because he basically he wants the waffle business and uh she started the waffle business when they were married but he like she always ran it and now he wants in on it because, you know, I guess she brought in the money or something like that. And so he said, if I don't get to have the business, I'm going to close everything.
And you wouldn't have anything without me. And Kenny's like, he tried to color purple you.
You do right by me the color waffle so you already waffled to me and I am here so she says uh yes but i waited to exhale him which is funny so kelly is basically saying like i really like kenya i don't know what the deal is with kenya and brit because i haven't experienced anything that brit was talking about is this the same person she seems great so uh you know it's smart kenya's shrewd though too kenya knows how to uh kenya knows when she's about to go into war she senses it already with brit she's gonna she's gonna bring in a newbie cause a rift get her allies yeah she knows she needs some newbies on her side she can't do it just with you know the the other half of the cast so she's like okay so she's like well am I doing the right thing? Because I put 400K into this, this is my daughter's college fund. And Mark is being evicted from his Brooklyn place I read today, so he's not gonna be much help.
Not that anybody expected him to be. But so she's like, I actually like this moment.
Yeah, it was nice. She's like, no, you're doing the right thing.
And Kenya's like, tear, tear, tear. She's like, you're doing the right thing.
Don't worry about it. All you have to do is open it at some point.
Yeah. Well, I like this because normally the housewives fake this kind of shit.
They're like, I'm opening up the most luxurious and wonderful day spa that this city has ever seen. And we are already booked for weeks and weeks and weeks to come.
It's like Caroline Brooks, you know, with the toilet falling through her floor. But here she's like, I don't have anyone coming in here and I blew through my daughter's college education money.
I am fucked. And I was like, I kind of like that.
She just was like open about it. And she's like, just give me some advice.
Question. Will putting up posters of revenge porn bring people in next week i was thinking that might be a good tactic congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto ashley savoney she don't take no baloney put your hands together for carly clap katherine d bernardo has our heart oh get on the right foot with chrissy offutt dana c dana do she's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.
Itchles. We never miss her call, it's Diane Call.
Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickless. Jamie, she has no less namey.
You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo.
Hava Nagila Weber. We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns.
She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer.
Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Manok's door.
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson.
Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett.
She gets an A from us. It's Lindsay D.
Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.
We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox.
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg.
This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian. I love a y'all, Olivia Williamson.
Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell.
It's Raquel. Yes, we can.
It's Savannah cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge, the Bay area betches, betches, and our super premium sponsors.
She's VVIP. It's Amanda V can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.
Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD.'s got a leg up It's Bethany We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Can't have a meal without the Emily sides Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland It's our queen It's Queen Laifa Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall Know your worth with Jason Kerr We got our wish It's our queen. It's Queen Laifa.
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Know your worth with Jason Kerr.
We got our wish. It's Jen Plish.
She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch.
She's a little bit loony. Junie.
My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo.
She gets an A. It's Kelly B.
We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley.
We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder Baron. She's a whiz.