#2769 RHOBH S1416: Catamaran Got Your Tongue

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Watch What Crappens Watch What Crappens Watch What Crappens Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens Watch What Crappens Watch What Crappens Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hi.
Good to see you, as usual. Good to see you.
What's going on with you? Well, you know, today is a big day because we're talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. People on Twitter are really worked up, as they should be, because it was a really good episode.
What are they worked up about? They're angry at Erica. People are really angry at Erica for saying that Garcelle peaked.
And they're also, they find that Erica is really hypocritical for attacking Sutton and saying that Sutton attacks women when they're at their lowest moment. When they say, what about you, Erica, going after Lisa Vanderpump when she just lost her brother and being part of that and bullying Lisa and Denise off the show.
Come in, Erica erica you came in as yolanda's friend and then you joined the fox force 5 to get her off the show like that people were really pulling up everything oh i love it yeah everyone a lot of a lot of um a lot of feelings people be attacking dorit for being inauthentic it was hilarious it's great so um great work everyone on twitter um in the though, before we get into our Beverly Hills recap, we are hitting the road again this weekend. Our tour, the Mountain Hysteria tour continues to power on.
So this weekend, we're going to Charlotte and Atlanta. In Charlotte, we're going to recap the Southern Charm season finale, which will be great.
I'm very excited to talk about that. And then over in Atlanta, we're going to do a classic episode.
One of our favorite episodes, which is going to be orange real housewives of orange County season 11, episode 16, bringing up old ghosts. That is a part of their Ireland trip.
And if I, if memory is correct, now I haven't rewatched it, but this is, I believe where they get Kelly drunk and then they have a big fight in the van at the end of the night which should be really really good other places that we're going to on the tour we are going to DC Philadelphia then we'll be going to Boston Detroit Chicago we will then eventually go to Texas for Austin and Dallas And then we will end things unless we get some new shows, which might very well happen. But for right now we have in May, our grand finale is in Las Vegas, our very first ever Las Vegas show, which will be great.
So that's all the news. Go to watch for crappens.com to get your tickets.
Also go to patreon.com slash watch what crappens to catch our bonus content. We did all of traders there.
So if you want to catch up there, listen to our recaps there. We also had some really fun airport snaps where we sat in the Cincinnati airport and we talked about all the people and things around us in the airport and we had a great time doing that.
So thanks to everyone who came to our shows this past weekend and we we look forward to seeing a bunch of you this coming weekend. So here we go.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, season 14, episode 16, Sutton on trial at sea. Yeah.
So we're here. We're back in St.
Lucia at the wind jammer landing resort. And Kathy and Kyle are getting ready.
And Kathy's like, well, Hey Kyle, do you ever put anything on your lips and kyle's like kathy you're putting blush on she's like no i know just gives it a little you know it just makes your lips look more like cheeks you know i just want to have a nice cheek face she's like yeah but it's gonna make your lips dry oh oh i guess that makes sense i guess that's why my lips are always dry of all the crap kathy hilton puts out of her bag, and she's still putting blush on her lips. Like, why? So then we go to Jennifer, Garcelle, and Sutton, and they're getting ready, and Jennifer's like, this is what I'm going to wear tonight.
And Sutton's like, I'm wearing vodka. Isn't that hilarious? Vodka's my favorite color.
Actually, red's my favorite color. Red vodka.
I love vodka. Please, nobody call me an alcoholic.
That would be very offensive.

God, I love vodka. I mean, really.
Now, how dare you insinuate that all I do is drink vodka? Anyway,

tonight I will be wearing an evening gown made entirely of distilled vodka that has been

turned into wood.

I don't know what I'm talking about

because I'm drunk on vodka.

I love vodka.

And Bose is telling Nico in her room,

she's like, I have intentions, right, for the trip.

I want it to feel like a girl's trip

where everybody gets along and it's kumbaya

and we enjoy each other.

And Nico's like, girl, what kind of girl's trips do you go on?

My girl's trips are never like that. And love nico the gay being like no this is not how girls trips works because i'm the gay on many girls trips and yeah it's never peaceful i'm still traumatized from a couple of girls trips to this day quiet nico decade ago yeah quiet nico get back to bedazzling some seashells So then we have Erica who is standing by the edge of the pool.
Um, and,

uh, yeah quiet nico get back to bedazzling some seashells so then we have erica who is standing by the edge of the pool um and to read everyone's doing like photos this is because of course they are they're all like well i put on the socks so it's time to do a photo shoot so they're all taking photos for their instagram and everything and boz is like okay well uh everyone gather in my in my sweet. So they all go to her place and Kyle and Garcelle are

going to And Bo's is like, okay, well, everyone gather in my suite. So they all go to her place.

And Kyle and Garcelle wind up wearing the same outfit. Yeah.
And she's like, well, I did call Kyle's style hideous in the past. So I guess this is my karma.
Now I'm eating those words because we're twinning. She's come a long way.
and then they do like a little runway moment where Kyle goes stomping around the living room and Garcelle, of course, is a model and knows how to do it. So that was fun.
And then they hug. Now it's time for dinner.
So they're ordering and Kyle's like, I'll have this, but I don't want the mashed potatoes. And they're like, wait, please hang on, on missy no one said that should be illegal

says hold the mashed potatoes and this is why i can never get behind kyle she says shit like that just stupid ignorant shit you know why is everybody else getting canceled and kicked off shows when kyle can get away with saying something so fucking hateful pulled the mashed potatoes fuck off mashed potatoes i'm never buying another caftan again so um yeah everyone's like we'll have the mashed potatoes. I'm never buying another caftan again.
So, yeah, everyone's like, we'll have the mashed potatoes, please. So then we have Dorit, who's like, So everyone, how is your villa compared to ours? And Jennifer's like, Oh, it is gorgeous.
Like, it's just like yours. Yes, it's just wonderful.
And Bo's is like, Okay, I have a question. I have a question.
Can we discuss the outdoor shower, though? You said that you will not use an outdoor shower. Okay, she says, Dorit says, I don't really like outdoor showers.
She's like, well, no, but I'll do them occasionally. I mean, even with my husband, I'm like, I don't walk around naked.
Or rather, it's more like, I don't want him to go to the outdoor shower. And then'm sitting there watching that the problem with walking around naked when you with someone like piggy it's that he thinks he can be naked too so i just rather i sleep in long drums right sleep in long drums uh well she doesn't like getting naked in front of her own husband i can't imagine being in a relationship where i'm holding anything back.
And might I also add, whoop. I mean, there's this whole point of intimacy.
That's the whole point of intimacy. I could be naked physically, naked emotionally.
Naked, naked, naked in front of Kili. And Kili is naked too.
We're all naked and we're drinking naked juice. And guess what? The reason why we're doing that is because I invented nakedness.
Whoop, whoop. And furthermore, whoop.
Yeah, I guess that's why I'm not in a relationship, among other things. Because I doing any of that any of what she just said i was like yeah that makes a lot of sense with my own life i'm not getting naked i'm not getting naked alone i'm not going to get naked emotionally i'm not going to get naked in any way put a jacket on that's what i say put a hoodie over your emotions nobody needs that yeah.
Yeah. So Jennifer is like, well, it's actually very funny.
I had a scene in Broadway where I stood up in a bathtub and I was a full frontal nude. And they're like, what? And we see that she was in The Woman, which I didn't even realize.
The Woman. She was great.
I actually saw it. I wanted to see it when I lived there.
It was playing when I lived there mean it was a long time ago but i couldn't get into well i couldn't afford to go see it but i and they ended up doing a great performances taping of it and it is so so good i loved it and the lady from third rock from the sun is in it she was great on that i can't remember anyone's name johnson yes she was in it. And Miranda from Sex and the City was in it.
I mean, it was incredible. The entire cast was amazing.
But Jennifer Tilly was Crystal, the bad girl who stole the husband. And so, yeah, I guess she had a scene in a bathtub.
And she was like, I had an English boyfriend at the time. And you know how the English are.
You know, he said, but you're going to you're gonna be naked and I said no I'm wearing bubbles so I stood up in the bubble bath and the bubble slid off of me and I said but the bubbles fell English people are hilarious well then I realized he had actually never seen me standing up and so walking around naked before he had never seen it Because I would go into the bathroom and we had a very good sex life. And I would have laid down and arranged myself in a very attractive position and turn the lights down low.
And then I'd be like, I am ready. Yes, I realized that.
Kathleen Turner, wasn't that famous? Because Kathleen Turner originated that role in London, right? Everyone was like, Oh my God, Kathleen Turner was,

did full frontal on stage.

Was this the same show?

No,

I don't think so.

Oh,

okay.

The women,

I don't think Kathleen Turner was spreading misinformation about Kathleen

Turner.

Cause why not?

It's,

it's Wednesday.

What's your lie about her?

I don't think so,

but I mean,

I have no idea.

Um, uh, she's like, I used to wake up at five in the morning and put on makeup and go brush my teeth so you would wake up thinking i'm perfect see i just don't agree with any of the ladies today i say just wake up as nasty as possible and if they can take that they can take anything you know I've got like my original pictures. I don't like put any airbrushed pictures on dating sites or anything like that.
It's me just looking old and smelly, you know. And if you can take that, we can go on at least more than one date.
Exactly. So you got to lead with honesty.
You got to be open and honest. You know, it's called the Kyle Richards method of dating.
So it's like people ask you how old you are. You should always say a little bit older.
Cause then they're like, Oh my God, you don't look that old. And then you can feel good about it.
You know? Right. That's like from 30.
Remember on 30 rock where Jenna was telling everyone that she's just turned 60. So that way everyone would say, wow.
Okay. There you go.
Amazing for 60. There you go.
thank you i am 62 so kyle has something really important to say there's just something about this tropical air that feels so good doesn't it well thanks kyle thanks for that that's amazing insight on tropical air it's like well those are those negative ions i'm always trying to tell you about and you wouldn wouldn't listen to me. But now that you're here, getting negative ions, now they're acceptable.
Well, I see how you are. She's like, well, Sutton, that positive attitude.
So now Sutton's like rubbing her shoulder against Kyle because she's just besties with Kyle. And we see another example of how just desperate Sutton is to be liked by people she considers popular.
And it's so sad, but also so funny. It's like she got somewhat tacit approval from her mother this season, and so now she's moving on to her next biggest goal, Kyle Richards.
Yeah, seriously. So Garcelle is, of course, watching this like, no.
So Dorit's like, by the way, in all seriousness, Sutton, you know, I have thought about it a lot, and I have felt in the last few months that you've been, in particular, very mean-spirited to me. I've kept thinking to myself, gee, a lot of little jabs coming my way.
Gee, gee, gee. It's like, like, I've wanted, look how hard I've tried.
I've just tried so hard to come back to a good place with you, Sutton.

But, you know, I put my heart on the table.

And she's like, well, I think that we've both had times where we have failed each other.

So let's just go with the, we both are terrible.

And let's just stay with that.

How do you feel about that?

Dariq.

Sutton's already, like, starting to boil over.

Her satanic eyes are, like, starting to come out. She's like, we're not going to put this all on me just because I started this feud because I got angry because he whispered something at one point at dinner, even though we were supposed to be pretending to be a sisterhood.
So she's like, but wasn't the feud when she made that, when Dorit made the alcoholic con or the, of course there's alcohol in that drink comment. That was the iteration of it but it all started the things went sour between them in oceanside when like they were sitting at that restaurant and there was some comment about i forgot it was there was dorit muttered something and then sudden did the whole thing okay everyone we're gonna tie our hands together with a ribbon and we're sister then that night she was like, you know what really bothered me? That she said something under her breath.
I mean, we are supposed to be sisterhood. You're supposed to say it out front.
And then on the Sprinter van, she was like, you said something under your breath. And we're supposed to be a sisterhood.
That was sneaky. And then they started fighting.
And then they have been at each other's throats all season as a result of that. Oh, okay.
I thought it was an alcoholic thing. That was just the latest manifestation.
Yeah. So she's like, you're the one who wanted this group to have an intention.
And then it is 48 hours and it's out the window. And then we see a flashback to two months earlier when Dorit wouldn't admit to being Teddy's friend.
I love that we're trying to remember. It's in the notes.
Dorit admitting. She won't admit to being Teddy's friend.
and so Dorita's like well you know a lot of it was we're gonna have arguments but we should be able to talk it out am i right certain am i right that's right it's like but any attempt to converse or to have a conversation with you is rejected rather than trying to work it out you want to go lower you want you're like pk reaching into can of Pringles. You just want to go lower and deeper and deeper and sadder.
Okay? And now you want to have an issue. Well, in the moment, Sutton meant that she wanted to have a sisterhood.
That's what I feel. She just doesn't really understand what that means.
And Carl's like, yeah, I mean, she met him when she said it.

So that's something.

We see later that

Sutton turned to her and was like,

thank you. Thank you so much for saying that.

Thank you. I know.
Kyle says

one sentence. One sentence because

also Kyle and Dorit

seem like they're good now,

but they're still not great. So Kyle will still

pile on. So Sutton's

like, I brought it to the group because I

thought it was important. It's like, yeah,

but I think she means that, well, she

says every time, and so that's

where it gets confusing, because it's like, okay,

well, sometimes if you mean what you're saying, sometimes I

feel sincere, and sometimes it's very earnest,

and she's like, I was sincere. Yeah, hold on.

Let me finish. Let me finish.

Hold on. My hat's flopping all over the place.
I love the Erica's hat. She's like, let me finish.
Let me finish here. Let me finish.
And she says, and then sometimes it turns and Sutton's like, okay, well, shall I place my hand on a Bible? Should I? Because you know what? We're not doing this. I'm not going to do this again.
You are not going to beat me with a stick. She gets so angry.
She's so over the top. Just calm down, lady.
Your head's going to pop off. Nobody's beating you the stick.
We're just going to bring out the same thing over and over again until you submit. I will not do that.
And Kathy's like, well, we're just having a discussion. I don't know what we're talking about, though.
I haven't been paying attention. So Dorit's like, every time there's a chance to take accountability, you cannot just make yourself a victim.
You know, say, I'm an adult. I take accountability whenever I make a mistake, which is, should we just like roll all the scenes of Dorit Garcelle having to explain to Dorit why the things she has said in the past have been either problematic or sound like they have a tin ear or whatever, and her just saying,

you know, refusing to hear anything Garcelle has to say at any restaurant.

Yeah. I take accountability every time I make a mistake.
For example, the time I said that I'm

very close to minorities who happen to work for me, how I said, yes, they do work for me. Is that so bad? That's taking a coon of bullying.
I mean, is it so wrong that I said that Garcelle attacked me when she raised her voice 0.3 decibels? I don't think so. It was an attack.
And of course, Garcelle's like, well, as Jennifer Tilly would say, oh, Doris ha, ha, ha, ha. Dorit's taking accountability for two minutes.
I mean, come on. Now all of a sudden she's an accountability guru.
Please. She's like, well, there has been no point where you have tried to rectify any of our little mishups.
You know what, Dorit? I have been thinking about this long and hard. And what I want to say is that I'm not wearing vodka tonight.
I'm actually wearing more whiskey. But anyway, well, I don't know what you just said.
But here's what I've got to add to that. Okay, I said something at the caviar party, and I did not feel like myself at all when I said that.
And we see the flashback is when she said, like, you, basically like you're poor. And so I was like, and I sincerely apologize to you because what I should have said is you are very poor, not just regular poor.
And I really did not lean in enough to how low in society you are. And I apologize for that.
I learned lessons as a little girl that I should have brought to this. You don't speak to poor people.
You have security escort them out. And so I apologize for speaking directly to you.
I know that must have hurt. I apologize for filling you with hope when I looked you in the eyes that I gave you the feeling that maybe rich people would also look at you in the eyes.
But no, no, we don't. We don't do that.
And I should never have given you that sense of aspiration.

And the fact that we sat at that caviar

party together and I purposely

wore a loss prevention jacket

across from you.

That wasn't right.

That wasn't right. I mean, let's face it.

This is California. I can't really get you arrested

anyway, so it wasn't right of me

to do that. That's all right.

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I sincerely apologize. And Erica's like, yeah, it was, you know, it was just beneath you.
It was beneath you. Oh, come on.
You're on a Real Housewives. Like, honestly, I feel like it was so, this thing that she said was so, like, of all the things that could be said on a Real Housewives show,wife show for someone to say like what was it like like go talk to someone while that fits or whatever whatever that whatever the phrase was yeah compared to any other show on bravo yeah this is you think you're better you think you're up you think you're better than her my wallet is whatever i mean i think that was pretty shitty but it's really funny how Sutton tries to apologize because right after that, we see we saw the confession over.

Sutton's like, I don't regret saying that not one single second.

I wish I said it more.

I wish I said I wish I came up with rhymes for poor little idiot.

I wish that I had the server walk up to her and say, I'm sorry, man.

We don't accept WIC carts here.

That would be good.

That would be good.

Oh, goodness.

So, Dorit's like, I appreciate that.

And I think that if you had at any point maybe had said that at some point, if you really felt sorry, if you didn't have to wait this long to have a pride out of you.

And she's like, well, I'm doing it now.

Well, you're very passive aggressive about it.

She's like, well, Dorit.

And Rose is like, she's actually trying to apologize, Dorit.

And I'm like, Dorit, listen, this is the closest you're going to get to a sincere apology from Sutton.

And Sutton's like, excuse me.

And she's just telling us this.

She's like, if she'd shut up, she'd hear me apologize for calling her Brokey.

Okay. Brokey Roberts.
I'm very sorry for what I said, even though it was admittedly hilarious and everyone at Caviar Caspia laughed because we all knew it was true. But anyway, you did not need to be embarrassed by the Caviar Caspia people.
And what I said was low, even though true though true but low and i shouldn't have said it into your face only the hundred back but unfortunately sootin we've moved on to other things she's like oh now there's a lot more you need to apologize for so both is like dorit you're not even taking any of it in it's an an apology. Take it.
And she's like, Goiz, Goiz.

I said, thank you. I said, thank you.

I appreciate it. But wait, there's more.

Well, Dorit is not gonna think

something is genuine at this point.

And I don't blame her. Sutton does a lot of

things. Apologizes for them.
And then we

as a group are left wondering, which was true.

The low blow or the apology. You just

don't know. It's a mind game.

I mean, a magic mirror.

I can't see which way is right. I'm like,

I'll see a magic mirror. I can't see which way is right.
I'm like, oh, relax. Relax.
Am I fat? Am I thin? I don't know. Why am I shaped like an hourglass? Why is my face so big? Erica, shut up.
Erica is not. I'm sorry, Erica.
You're having a great season. And I've really grown to enjoy you on this show but you cannot be accusing Garcelle I mean Sutton saying things that you don't know what's true and what's not true when you had an entire season where you were like well it was snowing in Pasadena so my son took his car out and it turns out he was driving on a roller coaster and he was in a roller coaster tycoon and went up in the loop-de-loop and then all of a sudden Tom he got into his car and they crashed into each other in the roller coaster and Tom went down the mountain and he spun around and he was lying in a ditch.
Yeah. Yeah, agreed.
So, but she's also like on the poor side, you know what I mean? So she's standing up for the other poor. So, and also when Sutton apologizes and you don't know what was real, the slam or the apology, can't both things be true? I mean, most hurtful things you say are meant, but then you feel bad for saying them.
So you apologize. It's called being an adult.
Okay. Yeah.
I'm sorry that she is so smart that she knows exactly what Dorit's trigger is, which is calling her poor. Okay.
Which I guess you don't have to be that smart to figure that trigger out, but still. Yeah.
You know, well, I think what made it actually really mean is that Dorit is like, she's really going through it and losing her house and stuff. But I don't think that was happening at this time.
I think if she called her poor, like right now when the house was being taken away and all that other stuff that's allegedly being, that's allegedly going down and PK not paying any bills and stuff like that, that would be different. But you know, it was when Dorit was still pretending to have money so yeah it didn't count yeah i mean it was mean it was a mean thing to say i keep on making excuses for it because it's like classic um you know recapping housewives when there's one that you like more than the other so you'll be like honestly yeah it was a compliment if you think about it no it was horrible it was horrible it was a shitty shitty thing to say it It was a shitty thing to so not guilty but also like i guess you know when we watch other shows people say so things that are so much worse i mean it's like find someone who's wild fits compared to like um uh you your husband has one foot on a one foot in the grave and one foot on a banana peel and you sucked your weight at the top.
I mean, like it gets a lot worse than this. Well, I also didn't think that it was so bad when Dorit made fun of, uh, Garce or made fun of Sutton's alcohol intake.
So I don't, I'm just definitely not. Yeah.
I think I'm just this whole season. I'm like, I mean, this is pretty mid as far as, you know, things to be mad about go so i don't really care they're very sensitive um so bo's like dorit i think the question is there anything that you feel accountable for that you could actually apologize to saturn about that's where we actually need to go since you just bragged about how you take accountability and she's like well you know what the joke about the drink that i that i made you know that wholeheartedly was not to start anything or to hurt you but just to highlight to everyone in the group that you are something of an alcoholic and that's in many ways very humorous so that's all i was merely doing it's like oh so we're calling we're calling that a joke now it's like well the comment the Listen, it wasn't my intention to call you an alcoholic,

especially when everybody can see that you're clearly in your cohootic.

And probably, if you hadn't called me a bitch after I said that you were an alcoholic,

I probably would have said, I'm so sorry, that wasn't my intention.

But you called me a bitch, which meant that me calling you an alcoholic first,

in retrospect, is actually allowed.

So to be fair, it's not that you called me a bitch. It's that you called me a bitch in the home.
In the home. That was like the ultimate, because Dorit can't be offended.
She's called everyone the C-word all season. Like how many times has she been like, what a effing C-word.
That's true. Yeah, that's true.
Now now she's like how dare you speak to a woman like that so kathy's like well listen we're here for another four days all right you can't conquer rome in a day which isn't the saying you know because the saying is you can't build rome in a day because i'm pretty sure rome burnt pretty fast it didn't take very much long to it didn't take that much time to bring it to the ground, but it didn't take long to build. It did.
You can't build it in a day. So Bo's like, well, I appreciate the honesty and the candor, and I really think, like you said, Rome wasn't built in a day, I'll subtly correct you, but probably some bricks are being laid, because I do feel like we've made some progress in making one small building in an entire empire, So, yeah, you know, it only took,

you know, a few thousand years for Rome to get to where it was. So it's a good sign for you, too.

Well, while we've got to break in the fighting, I just want to say that, Boze, you know, I really appreciate when you came to my house the other day and said that you like me better than Tariq now,

and you apologize for ever going on to her side and becoming my best friend. So thank you.
That meant to me bows everybody hear that everybody hear that yeah like bows is kind of like my best friend now so just want to like announce that to the table like i'm friends with her now too so i guess that makes me pretty cool well from that moment i said look whatever i can do to help kyle i'll do it did you get my note about never bangs again good and god answered my prayer when i went to soho house and sitting across from me not even an arm length away was john turturro making up with a homely homely lady and i thought oh my goodness he's making out with sister. But then it turns out it was not even Aida.

It was a different person entirely.

It wasn't until I said, I love that show where you had to deal with toe jam.

That was a good drama on HBO.

Did you ever see that?

The night of his character had like crippling foot disease, like crippling athletes or something.

And it was just him picking at his toe jam with a pencil for eight episodes. mean that was a decent show but god i will never forget that or forgive john troturo so as i sat there at the soho house enjoying some very okay food i was looking at mauricio making out with a girl and i said never again i will text kyle richards right now so um she I don't know't know why this made me laugh but she goes there's mo with his girl and kathy went a female a female and she went a girl and garcelle says with a woman with a woman okay let's all decide how let's all agree on how we're gonna refer to women all right kyle is kyle is ready to call her a little fucking bitch slut um it was a girl one of one of the girls so girl says like well greece not malibu i mean who knows where else it doesn't sound like a random girl sounds like it's his girl and if you were to say it's just some stranger, I would say, no.

And then I texted Kyle.

And I said, girl.

And then afterwards, I gave her the full report.

And Kyle's like, yeah, three and a half minute long voice, no.

I haven't gotten one of those since Jamie Lee Curtis

actually forgot to press end

when she was leaving me a voicemail.

God, that got ugly.

It definitely wasn't a voicemail. She was actually trying to call her husband, and then she dialed me by accident because, honestly, I got onto her phone, and I put my number under Christopher Guest's contact.
But, like, whatever, it was still fun, still fun. We laughed about it afterwards, and I laughed.
I mean, I laughed by myself, because I'm like, wow, Jamie Lee Curtis knows me because I made her know me. Yeah.
So then we get to hear Buzz's voice now. Hey, babe, full report.
She's not cute. I mean, look, if you're going to go do it, like get the cutest girl on the planet, right? No, actually, I was sitting there.
They were there. I was dreaming of scenarios where I could push them in the water.
Let me know what you want me to do. Kill him.
I'll run up on a man. Let me know.
You know what? That's being a girl's girl. I invented girls and I've been being girls girls.
So then Kathy's like, that's a girlfriend right there. I'm sorry.
That's a female friend right there. That's a female friend.
Well, we all have your back. We all want to fight for you.
So, if I'm being completely honest, I feel that we tiptoe about scissoring Morgan. Can we get into that? How does that work? I was like, what? We had a pact not to mention her.
She who shall not be named. And she looks totally shocked.
And Garcelle's like, well, we don't know what the situation is is and if we're being supported in a way in that way then we can back off which is such a funny way to put it like tell us more because if she's giving you all the emotional support that you would get from a uh boyfriend or a spouse or a lover um then we'll know you're set and we're okay but if you're not being supported by her then that way we can go in on her as well she's just messy but she's just putting it under the guise of like actual like i want to make sure you're okay but yeah i mean during this generally i agree with garcelle in general that kyle doesn't have the right to be like open and honest to everybody else but then she won't talk but it's also she said five million times she's not going to talk about it morgan refuses to be talked about on the show, this and that. So I'm kind of like, why are we going back to this well? But then I saw in the after show, I just saw a clip that was posted.
And Garcelle's like, listen, it's everywhere. It's on all the blogs.
When we're shooting, it's literally everywhere. And Kyle flying everywhere with this girl.
And then it has, like everyone else has to be open and honest, but she doesn't. It's just fucking annoying.
then it cuts to kyle in her own room and kyle's like well you know like she knows my situation and why i can't say it and how come it's okay for garcelle like her kid doesn't want to film and that's fine she doesn't want to talk about that and then her other son had stuff going on and she doesn't want to talk about that those are her children how are you even going to compare somebody requesting that their child, especially after one of them was bullied by you guys on national TV? How are you going to argue that that's even close to being the same thing? Give me a fucking break. Well, the thing is, I think also Kyle has, there's an expectation that they all should rally around Kyle.
And, you know, if they see Mauricio out in the wild, they're going to to her and they're gonna they're gonna support her and yada yada yada and it's like fuck this guy which in some ways they should because kyle is their castmate and ultimately they are friends with kyle first but i think that like there's an element that they have to really put themselves out for kyle and garcella's like honestly i don't even like this woman. She's like, she's superficial.
She's fake.

Everything is about her.

And you know what?

I'm sick of like, here I am on TV, kind of like co-signing this group bashing of Mauricio.

But the truth is, like, we don't even know what's going on on Kyle's side.

And I'm kind of like sick of it.

And so I want, I think it's time for Kyle to also, you know, if we're going to like rake some random girl over the coals and start saying like, Oh, she's, she's, she's not, this random person's not cute. She's a girl, you know, like, how about like Kyle, you talk, you know, you've got some stink on your side as well.
So why don't we talk about that? And also Garcelle did talk about her son on the show quite a bit. So I'm surprised that Kyle's acting like that never happened.
And then we get Erica backing up. Of course, the party line, you know, the Kyle party.
It's a sad party. But the Kyle party line where she's like, well, Garcelle wants information about Kyle, but we know nothing about Garcelle.
I mean, who's Garcelle sleeping with? I know she had a roster back in the 90s. That was good.
And then we see Garcelle talking about how she's banged, you know, all these famous people. And then she goes, well, maybe she's Pete.
Oh my God, look who's talking, lady. The last person you bragged about was fucking Armie Hammer before he got canceled for talking about wanting to eat people.
Shut up, Erica. And what do we know about you? You still won won't even you're still pretending you're innocent in this whole thing what about marco marco lady you're lucky nobody brings that up so i don't want to hear america yeah i know like at least um at least garcelle's roster in the 90s included like like johnny depp and you know all these people and yours was tom girardi yeah yours was old nuts on the ground

tom girardi who fucked over like how many how many victims and then you helped fuck over marco marco so whatever lady don't well i liked garcell's garcell's response and someone asked garcell on watch happens live someone's like what did you think about erica saying that you peaked And Grisel just goes, fuck Erica.

Fuck Erica.

Yeah. And Griselle just goes, fuck Erica.

Fuck Erica.

Yeah, I was like, well, there is no situation, you know.

I mean, you guys know everything.

I mean, sure, you saw me at a concert, but I had that on the books for like six months.

And she says it like it was an appearance.

She says, I literally had an appearance that I had on the book. So you're booking appearances.

Morgan is booking appearances of you in the wings at her shows.

Thank you. that like it was an appearance she says i literally had an appearance that i had on the book so you're booking appearances morgan is booking appearances of you in the wings at her shows no yeah i think that that doesn't that doesn't seem right and also i just want to say one other thing about this piece sorry to go back a little bit this peaking like oh erica's saying well maybe she peaked like how sad is it that the definition for erica of garcelle peaking is based off of who she slept with as like i would argue that garcelle is ascendant right like this is i think this is the most exposure i mean garcelle obviously was famous in the 90s she was on the jim and then she was in the jamie fox show late 90s early 2000s she's been around all these years she was coming to america back in the 80s etc like she's been with all the time.
But I would argue her being on the show is like her most high profile gig that she's had or like the thing that she has had her name on more people's mouths than ever before. And so I would say she has not even reached her peak.
So but for Erica, it's like, well fucking represents who what your peak is like there's actually something very sad and inherent in what was just a shady comment yes but it really is a extra revealing shady comment yeah and she's got more going on than who she's fucking i like that point and she's producing film after film erica what are you doing you're you're like speaking over garage band Like, give me a fucking break. Okay.
And mooching tables off reunion sets for your fucking house remodel. Give me a break.
Oh, did you see that by the way? Did I send you that Reddit thing? Somewhat Reddit. Let me tell you, if you ever have a mystery to solve, Reddit is who to give it to.
Okay. Someone posted, isn't this the same coffee table from the reunion set? And sure enough, Erica's new table in her remodeled home is from the reunion set.

Wow.

She's just taking shit right off the set.

So get out of here.

You're manufacturing the shit that you're mooching off reunion sets.

Come on.

I'm going to say good for you on that front.

I'm going to say, you know what?

You should take that, take that coffee table. But by the way, those garage band loops powered Erica to be all for you on that front.
I'm going to say, you know what? You should take that coffee table.

But by the way, those garage band loops powered Erica to be all the way into the background, her song, all the way in the background of Inonora. So, you know.
Well, I don't know that being in the background of a movie about a whore marrying a Russian billionaire is like the height of a compliment. You know what I mean? Well, maybe Inon Peaks.
I don't know. It's like, wow, my song got played in the strip club on The Sopranos.
Like, wow. It's huge.
Honestly, if I heard any one of my stupid musical tracks that I made five years ago playing in the background of literally anything, I would be, like, issuing press releases. I'd be so happy.
Anyway, I happy um anyway she shouldn't be happy i'm just you know i know i'm just erica because she's like she's sitting on everybody else's accomplishments yeah so girls carl's like whatever that was an appearance it was on the books and she's well right but that brings attention right and said well what am i supposed to do i mean going the gas station brings me attention. You know, like I can't even get granola out of the bin at the Sprouts without getting attention.
It's everywhere I go. The paparazzi are everywhere.
Because you're calling them everywhere. And I'm so glad that Garcelle just keeps her foot on her neck because she's like, yeah, does paparazzi really follow Kyle Richards everywhere? I mean, Julia Roberts can go to the grocery store, but Kyle can't.
Please. I know.
I can't even do my favorite hobby, shopping, because I can shop anywhere. Gas station, 7-Eleven, and the paparazzi are always there.
So, Jorit's like, Coyle's been in this town for a very long time, and she knows how things work, and if you want to avoid being seen with Morgan, you know how to do it. Yeah.
And so Kyle's like, well, maybe one day I'll have a great story to share with you guys. Maybe.
And Kathy's like, maybe you won't. She goes, okay, well, maybe I don't.
It's been 54 years so far. Still haven't gotten a good story out of you, Kyle.
Still waiting. I have white parties.
The guy from Fatburger comes over and makes stuff for people. So Garcelle Sutton goes, I hope you do, Kyle.
I hope you have a great story to tell. Now, let me nuzzle my chin against your shoulder a little bit.
Just tell you, as your best friend, here's the kind of author I want to be. The kind of author that supports a friend writing a beautiful story about herself.
Kyle, I hope you have a great story. And furthermore, I hope you dance.
Were you just singing that song the other day on the show? Yes. Is that why that came to me? yes um in the below deck creek naturally of course yes of course where it fits in the best so garcelle's like is it annoying that sutton's infatuated with kyle yes but i needed her tonight and she was so blinded by kyle's light and they make a little twinkling sound.
It's like, but she didn't have my back.

And, you know, part of this, I'm like, why is it?

Why does she have to help gang up on Kyle?

This is ridiculous.

And you've done it a million times.

Like, give it a rest.

Like, it is kind of getting old to me.

The whole, like, hounding Kyle about the same shit over and over.

But then I remembered, and they showed us clips of this later, that they actually had a discussion where they're like we're gonna get kyle tonight about the lesbian thing right

like yeah get her and then once they do it so it's just like oh my god kyle i'm so sorry she's being mean to you you know she has that kind of an attitude so i'd be pissed too commercials here comes one right now I would be furious.

I have childhood trauma around this topic because when I was in kindergarten, I was cast as a tree in the production of Snow White, in the kindergarten production of Snow White. And as a tree, I was part of an ensemble of trees, and together we created a forest.
And when Snow White is banished from, you know, the castle, she has to go running through the woods where she, you know, eventually finds famously the dwarves.

And so as the trees, the direction that we were given as actors was that we could either be kind trees and say, run, Snow White, run, get to safety.

Or we could be evil trees and go.

Tell us about your lesbian relationships, Snow White, run, get to safety. Or we could be evil trees and go, wah.

Tell us about your lesbian relationships, Snow White.

We could be very nosy trees and say,

what's the deal with Morgan Wade, am I right?

You fucked Cinderella or not?

I heard they found your slipper in your place, slut.

You could also be a bad jokey tree and say,

is there vodka in that? Which was strange as a kindergartner to ask. You could be a bad jokey tree and say is there vodka in that which was strange as a kindergarten or to ask you could be a really offended tree how dare you go big macauly or you could be a gossipy tree i just saw mauricio with a girl and she's not cute keep running snow white mauricio had his dick in an ugly tree i'm telling you that right now girl now, girl.
Okay, so what kind of tree did you choose to be? So all the boys, of course, the boys were like, we'll all be evil tree as well. We'll be.
And all the girls were like, no, we want to be nice trees. We want to support Snow White.
It's like, okay, so boys are going to be mean. Girls will be nice.
You know, classic. So we all, it comes the big scene, and we all are lined up, right? Because we're trees.
And I'm like the first tree, I think like stage, right. And so Snow White comes running through.
So I'm the first tree that Snow White encounters. So I go, and then every single other tree went run Snow White, run, even the boys.
So all the only evil tree, I was a psychotic tree. Everyone was like, oh, that poor poor kid lost it forgot his line i was like i was like no we had an agreement to all be psychotic trees but i was the only one so everyone was like a nice tree and there's one fucking strange tree that's literally trying to kill snow white and that was me so i understood garcelle's pain when she stood up there like a psychotic tree and did the muhahaha to Kyle.
And Sutton did not do her part. And Sutton said, run, Snow White, run to Kyle.
Were all the other trees played by Lisa Vanderpump? There was one played by Lisa Rinna, actually. Hello, Snow White.
How are you, Snow White? How are you Snow White? How are you? So then this fight is pretty much over. So Bose announces that tomorrow is the boat excursion, which is terrifying because we know what happens on boats on these shows.
And this show is no exception. So now we go back to the villa and kathy gets a call oh sorry i just want to say kathy's like what time she goes we start at 9 30 okay that means 10 for me she's like uh i mean we start at nine it's like that's so kathy to be like i'm not even going to pretend like i'm gonna be on time i'm building in minutes for me, and all boats can wait.
So Kathy gets a call from Carol, her brand manager, and she's like, hold on, hold on. She's putting on creams and sucking down vitamins and doing all the stuff that Kathy Hilton does, injecting stem cells from a baby she stole on the beach, you know, that kind of stuff.
And she's like, hold on a second, I'm changing. Just hold on hold on one second okay and she just puts the phone on the bed and never comes back never got it ten minutes later you just hear carol going uh kathy kathy kathy so then um uh garcelle everyone's getting ready and everything so they're all they're all settling in and stuff and Garcelle is not happy with what happened at dinner.
But in the meantime, Bose is talking to Erica and she's like, so why don't we even start with something like this? I may have to go to sleep with my hair is too big. I'm not going to take it all off.
And Erica's like, yeah, well, whatever. And Erica starts pulling out her clips and everything.
And Bose is horrified. Bose is

like, what's going on?

Why are you taking your hair out

right now? She's like, this is the second time.

Can I just say that this is

only the second time in my life I've seen white women

rip out tracks, clips in, and just

throw it on the chair next to them.

We see the first time.

I love that it's a cultural thing. It's just a white lady thing that they just start ripping out their hair and throwing them on the couch.
And Bo's is like staring because we see the first time she saw it was at the party at the beginning of the season where they were pulling out Kathy's clips and everything. So they're then starting to have this scene.
As they go on with the scene, Erica is still pulling out the hair and every time she puts her hair down on the sofa, you see Bo's looking at it like, you're disgusting. You're trash.
So Dorit's like, well, Bo's. Now, I understand the intention tonight.
Because she's about to come for Bo's for not having her back and standing up to her at the party or saying something against her at the party. So Bo's no look look this is i can't concentrate on anything but the hair can we talk about this in a minute please white women please explain so then um it's like well remember we were having these conversations and sudden said it's just how hypercritical she remember? Do you remember? And Erica's like, oh, god damn it, this hurts.
Does this look real, by the way? Does anybody fall in for this bullshit? Yeah. And Dorit's like, you know, I think Bose wants to believe the best in people.
It's one of the things I love about her. Unfortunately, I have enough experience to realize Sutton isn't sorry about the wallet comment, and she's worried about the way it made her look to all these women, and she's trying to say a face.
Which is probably true. I'm going to say that Dorit is probably accurate on that one.
Well, that's true, but it's also hypocritical, because when is Dorit ever sincere? Like, when is Dorit ever nice to Sutton? I mean, give me a break. And then there's that.
Yeah, I mean, you can't say that you felt bad about making the joke about the booze, but then you decided you were not going to call it back because you called you a bitch. Yeah.
Like, okay. So she's like, you do realize that I've been sitting for three weeks with the shit that she slung at me.
She's like, yes, but then when you finally get it, acknowledging the apology is important. She's like, I did.
I did. I acknowledge it by saying, I do not accept this.

Yeah.

It's like, Dorit, you keep going back.

And she says that Dorit has a challenge with being able to give apologies and now receiving apologies.

So she's starting to see some cracks in the Dorit facade.

And she's like, okay, so what do you want this chick to do?

And she's like, well, for us, it has to be more than just words. Erica.
She's done this nine million times. And she's like, yes.
Like pyramid over there. I think it's just letting things be.
And seeing how it develops. She's like, well, but, you know, you have to not put it on the back burner because that doesn't solve anything.
And so Dorit's like, well, maybe there's no solution. Sutton's just evil.
So in the other villa, of course, Sutton is talking about this shit with Jennifer and Garcelle. And so she's like, well, how do you feel, Sutton? Because I really feel like you guys made a little progress today.
No? No. Okay.
Your eyes are slitting and they're turning red and green. Okay.
Christmas is cancelled. Damn those puppies.
I get it. I get it.
I'll just be sitting over here quietly. So Sutton says, this is her classic warning that she's unhappy and she's about to say something shady.
Well, I'm gonna say this this. You're like, uh-oh.
She's announcing that she's going to say something. I'm not going to go today.
Okay, everybody? I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it.
I think that's like maybe move the needle a little bit. She's like, I moved the needle.
Okay. I picked up that needle and I moved it.
And that needle pierced me in the heart. I'm not apologizing again girls and garcelle is pissed she's still pissed at sutton and she's well i don't think you should apologize no unless you're apologizing to me hint hint and she's like well i'm not and i'm actually i will say this i did appreciate when kyle my new best friend did step up and defensive me for dorit for about three seconds that was very special we see a left blast back with Kyle saying like, Dorit, that's not nice.
She's like, I mean, the way she stood up, it's just so wonderful having a best friend. I never had someone who had my back like that.
And it's just hearing those words for the three seconds while I sit in my cocktail. It just, it just filled me with so much love.
I felt like I had a wind beneath my wings. And then she tells stepping up for me i knew we were friends i knew it i knew it and now everybody does too it's just so sad to be this insecure when you're so rich and like have so many years under your belt like come on you're like the better you're like the bet you're like you you are the prize in this situation not kyle.
So Garcelle's like, okay, well, when somebody says to you, when you say, I'm going back to Kyle, when she said, if there's anything to tell you, I will tell you, then we do say, and then we say, okay, I'll leave it alone. And Sutton's like, well, I do think it's a bit unfair to just say we want to know everything right now.

And you just got to tell us.

Yeah, but remember we made a plan.

Remember we sat there and we're like, we're going to get her on this one.

Should we roll the flashback?

Yeah.

Well, we made that plan before me and Kyle were best friends.

So, I mean, we're basically friend married now.

So you're basically coming after my friend, my friend, girl, woman, female.

What am I supposed to say now? Well, all of a sudden, you're not doing it. When it comes to Kyle, you have a blindfold on.
That's not true. Why would I have a blindfold on to the most radiant and beautiful person at the table? Well, I believe it.
I mean, that's how I feel. And you want me to tell you how I feel, so I'm telling you how I feel.
And she's like, why could we do it last year? She goes, well, last year, I asked a lot of questions because there were a lot of, you know, changes in her life. They seemed dramatic.
Also, she wouldn't ask me. So, that was pretty much it.
You know, what do you want from me? What do you want from me? You know, I had listened to friend to friend. And she goes, I don't want anything.
You know what? I'm going to bed. Good night.
You know, you've got blinders on. Good night.
And she's like, well, you did the same thing, Garcelle, last year. And then Garcelle trips night and she's like well you did the same thing garcelle last year and then garcelle trips and she's like ow damn it she goes oh forget the bet admit to doing the same thing last year she's like well i'm not saying i didn't but now when it comes to her you're just so protective yeah she's not always been the most amazing fan she's i am not protecting her because she can do everything herself she is wonderful and she She is self-reliant.
I don't need to do anything for her. She's like, well, for some reason, your loyalty is beyond.
She's like, well, I am not protecting her and there's no loyalty. I just will do whatever Kyle wants to do.
And that is my choice. That is not out of loyalty.
And I want Kyle to do whatever she wants to do. I'm not going to protect her.
That's her life, her wonderful, glorious life that I'm so lucky to be a part of and i am not going to babysit a grown woman because i will be a friend to the grown woman a lot i will not do that the car's like whatever is a woman i'm going who survived an attack from a brick hitting her in the nose on the set of halloween one of the greatest films of all our time have some respect have. Have some respect.
Garcelle's like, I'm going to bed. So Garcelle's like, all of a sudden, she's taking a different stance.
I mean, I've had sons back so many times, but tonight, she just left me out to dry. Okay, I see you.
I see. You know, it reminds me of this is I think Garcelle was like, this is the moment to land the death blow.
We are going to finally get Kyle on the Morgan Wade stuff tonight. It's all set up.
It's queued up. It's ready to go.
And then Sutton's not there to help do it and bust it wide open. It's like on a reality.
It's like on big brother. That's one season, the season six of big brother, when there was like the friendship versus the other people.
And the other people were going to, like the Sovereign Six, they were going to finally take out the friendship. And then Howie, for some reason, put up people from the Sovereign Six.
And you're like, why? Why? I know this is a very specific reference. But to those who saw that season, they will see it here in Sutton's actions.
Sutton! So she goes to bed and then Jennifer Tilly comes to comfort Sutton. And she's like, would you like a good and plenty? And there's a couple with some hairs on them.
There's glitter on this one. I don't even think I have glittered in my suitcase at the moment.
She's like, I need a moment alone, please. I need to take some time to myself for a second.

Listen, it's very hard for me to think about the dulcet tones of Kyle Richards' voice when other people are talking.

So please leave me alone so I can just hear her sounds.

Oh, yeah, that sounds great.

So now the next day they're all getting ready to go to the boat.

And Jennifer is putting on earrings.

And she's like, oh, God, there's a hole here somewhere.

That's what he said.

And Bo's and Erica are getting their glam done.

And Erica's like, well, I take sleeping pills on a trip like this.

She's like, you do?

She's like, I have to.

Otherwise, I don't, you know. You don't wake up? Yeah.
Well, how do you wake up? Magic. She's like, oh, okay.
So in the next villa, Sutton and Garcelle sit to have a little chat over there, coffee. And she's like, okay, well, listen, have you seen the girls? She goes, how can I see the girls? Like I've been perusing the neighborhood in my nightgown.
I have some sense. How would Kyle Richards feel if she knew her best friend was walking around in her nightgown? So listen, I want to say something.
I'm sorry. I got a little frustrated last night and I stormed off.
I just wanted to see what it was like to be petty like Kyle Richards. She's like, oh, okay, well, I hope you enjoyed that.
You know, it was our first fight. She's like, I know, I know.
It was exhilarating, but also kind of sad. I'm like, if I'm going to fight, I want it to be against someone that's more entertaining.
You know, I get that. I get that.
So then Garcelle's saying, I just feel like we're tiptoeing around Morgan. You know, when I brought that up at the table, you went on full protecting mode of her.
And I get it. You guys are in a good place now.
And I am. I am.
So am I with her. But I felt frustrated.
And I just felt like you weren't listening to me. And I guess I just wanted backup since I've done it for you for so many, so many years.
I get it. You want to backup.
And it was hard for me to get backup because I was being backed up by God, which felt so amazing. And, you know, if she's backing me up and it was hard for me to get back up because i was being backed up which felt so amazing and you know if she's backing me up and then i'm backing you up we basically got a pyramid and i don't have the upper body strength to do that do you understand okay you know this year i really wanted to have a deeper relationship with kyle but it's like wanting to do the butterfly in a puddle no matter what your are, a puddle is still just a puddle.
Can't get any deeper than that. So anyway, you know, she's out with Morgan here.
She's out with Morgan there and she's on the side of the stage and we're not allowed to say anything about it. Why can't we ask about it? Yeah.
So we see a clip of Kyle being like, oh my God, you know, like all the stories out there, I'm aware, I'm aware of how famous I am, you know? And there's just so much curiosity about that person that I, you know, forced a tattoo on of myself and then, you know, fed vegetable kebabs at a memorial service. And, you know, I don't know why anyone's curious about it, but I don't have to speak on anyone's behalf but my own.
So Garth Fell's like, you know, like how are we supposed to have a friendship if you're hiding your life? You know, sometimes when somebody's just so adamant about not want to talk about it, you just have to respect it and move on. Unless it's your mother, in which case, you just ask her every single day to say I love you until finally she breaks down and does it because there's a TV crew there.
But that's a special occasion. Well, that's what I'm going to do.
So Bo said she was at a restaurant and she saw Mo with a girl and called Kyle and told her, how about that? She was like, yeah, this is the first time I've heard that he's been there. And Caricelle's like, yeah, but that girl, they're like, yeah, she's dating.
They're like, yeah, they're dating. Yeah, but why shouldn't he? She left him.
I agree. She left him for a young woman and now everyone's like, I can't believe Mo is such a villain dating.
Listen,

let the man live his best life.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I just, like, you're separated.

You also kind of cast the first stone. And, I mean, one

could say, who knows? You cast the first bone.

The first bone, right.

I mean, look, it sounds very much like

Marisa was not there for Kyle when she needed him.

And so, in some ways, that is the first stone.

But the point is, like,

we all saw last season, you and Morgan Wade. And I'm not saying it's like I'm not being like, oh, you slut.
I'm just saying, you know, the point is your relationship with Marisa has run its course. And now you guys are starting to see other people.
And that's just the way it goes. And if you can do it, it's just like stale outrage at this point.
And it's not even Carl outrage, really.

It's everybody else trying to make it a big deal.

So then they all go downstairs and start taking pictures.

And Jennifer Tilly is taking a naked photo of herself in the pool.

You know, saying, oh, look at this thirst trap.

And it's like, why is everybody else doing these thirst things?

You know, I'm only thirsty for the material of my bathing suit, vodka. Yeah, they're all doing thirst traps and they're having a fun time with it and now they all gather and this is a, oh my God, whoa, you look great.
You look great. What are you wearing? It's Valentino.
Oh my God, fantastic. Blah, blah, blah.
It's, you know, it's the whole classic Beverly Hills 10 minutes of admiring brands. Yeah.
So now it's valentino oh my god fantastic blah blah blah it's you know it's the whole classic beverly hills 10 minutes of admiring brands yeah so now it's time to go on the catamaran she's like would i'll be swimming food sunbathing swimming more swimming and uh garcelle's like could someone be thrown overboard absolutely can't wait to see who so now they get on the boat and stuff And Erica's, you know, Erica's about to turn on Sutton because every time Erica does it, she butters her up first. That's so fucking funny.
I wish they had like a montage that they showed of Erica doing this. So Sutton's like, please excuse my butt in your face.
She's like, oh, actually, it looks good. You look cute, girl.
What do you weigh now, 100? She's like, oh, come on, 110. She's like, oh, good.
Well, I'm 128 to 130, and that's it. Just us southern ladies obsessing over calories together, aren't we besties? That's such a funny observation.
I never noticed that, but it's true. She does butter her up.
She butters her up, and then she gets her all happy and then just breaks her down. So they're all getting on the boat and everything and they're all sitting at the table and Kyle, of course, her eyes, she notices Jennifer's earrings and she's like, her eyes, of course, are like bling, bling, bling.
She's got the Terminator eyes. She's got the display where it zooms in on the earrings.
She's like, um, I can't get over your earrings. Hi, I'm the Doce and Gabbana.
She's like, I love them. I want them.
Yeah, well, it's Altam it's altamoda so there's only one so you can't get it off you can't get it at the delgian gabbana boutique but they're they which i'm sorry i know that sounds really obnoxious i was like one of a kind i can't buy them like she's spiraling yeah so now uh they go to the buffet of cheese and uh they're eating you know they start getting their eating and stuff like that and so jennifer is standing there and she's like um okay do you need anything and kathy's like uh do me a favor uh you can take my plate okay thank you thank you so much uh okay you want this too yes what is that Oh, thank you, love. Could you add me a napkin? And did you see any dressing over there? Is there any butter? Would you please get that? There's some crumbs on this table.
That would be great if you could maybe decrumb the table. And the producer's like, does Kathy think that you're the help on the boat? She's like, I don't know.
Sometimes I think she's not quite sure who I am. And Carl's, yeah, if you're around Kathy, she's gonna ask you to do things for her.
You know, I mean, that's just how she is. Oscar nominee? Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter. So, Sutton's like, yeah, there's a hierarchy, and Kathy is on the top.
Thankfully, best friends with her sister, so I'm getting there. I'm getting there.
So everyone's now lazing about on the boat, sunbathing, etc. And Dorit hangs out with Kyle.
And she's like, honestly, Kyle, oh my gosh. If I fall into your face, I'm just saying, ha! And Kyle's like, oh my god, by the way, I have a very good view, by the way.
Your butt is right over my head. Oh my god.
And she's like, you're like a rock, Kyle. You have the body of a rock.
She's like, really?

I mean, I try, you know. That's like what I'm doing.

I'm just going to the gym at 6am

not eating mashed potatoes, sending them back.

So Dorit asks about

Kim, and Kyle's

like, she's good, but I don't see her.

Like, how the fuck would I know?

She's Kim. She's a mess.
I don't want to talk about it.

So then she's like, well, I haven't

seen you three together in so, so long. And she goes, yeah, well, I mean, we're just not that close.
So then we go to the other ladies, and they're... Just the Richard sisters.
Dorit should know by now, you can never have three in the same room. One's always got to be on the outs.
And it's interesting, too, because Dorit's kind of on the goods with Kyle right now, but she's bringing up another subject she knows Kyle does not want to discuss, which is Kim, you know? So I thought that was interesting. So then Erica is talking to Sutton like, oh, what happened to you? Come on.
She's like, well, I just don't want it to fly off, you know? So, you know, guys, I was talking to Garcelle today about my apology to Dorit, and I really meant it. And I just want you all to know I meant it.
I wouldn't put them on my ears. Okay? It was a thing I said.
And listen, my name is Gonze. Okay? I'm going to say this.
I'm going to say it. Well, it wasn't a good thing to say.
It wasn't a good thing to say. It was a terrible thing to say.
It was terrible. I've beaten myself up about it.
Thankfully, the gold chain I was beating myself up with was a lot more hurtful than what other pleather leather strap Dorit would be beating herself with because she's poor. But I do feel bad.
Very bad. You know what I've noticed? By the way, you look great.
I love the earrings on you. Your hat's wonderful.
You just look better than ever. But you know what I've noticed? You are very critical and sometimes very not, you're just not the most compassionate to women that are going through the worst time in their lives.
And I felt it with myself. And Sutton's like and like her eyes, she has these very feline eyes and they just start to like lower and Sutton's like, oh really? This is what we're going to do.
And we see like actually a very, very long montage of Sutton going after Erica to read Kyle. So Erica's like, you know, you pose with a friend and all the work as an enemy.
I'm sorry, but just before we go on, because of all these clips they showed, they make it look like Sutton, and Sutton was the main one who would go after Erica and be like, but I've read this article. And everyone else was like, it's too long.
I couldn't read it. But what pisses me off is she's doing all of this and then she's standing up for kyle later but it was kyle who was the one saying we're questioning erica on this shit if you're on a tv show you have to be questioned and that's just the fucking way it is so we're gonna do it you know and now she's off like she didn't do anything and the only one being held to the fire is sutton and That's not fair.
it's also not the same thing erica when you're it's a it's a whole scandal that's all over the national news that you don't get to just talk about like that's crazy of course you're going to answer and then you come on making excuses for tom and saying he's got dementia and all this other shit trying to help his defense like you don't just you get questioned and none of this has anything to do with that so erica the fact that erica every fight erica brings it back what about what was done to me last year you fucking deserved it and you're lucky that you got off and even got to come back and get a chance at redemption because you fucking deserve those questions and you still do there's so much stuff that they're not asking you right now so consider yourself lucky i wouldn't piss off setting while you still got that marco marco thing going on because a lot of the audience doesn't even think about that one and she could nail your ass with that one so be careful erica be careful my little lamb no i mean i think that you bring up a very good point which is that like erica is conflating um you know being um kicking people when they're down with someone who's trying to get clarity about something. And, you know, when you have a show where you have like the, probably the biggest star on the show, the biggest principal who champions the idea of being open and honest, open and honest, but then is very protective and is very private about when stuff is happening in her life or her friend's life, her allies' lives, it feels like hypocrisy.
And I think Sutton is triggered by hypocrisy. Most people are, but she was particularly triggered by it and she wants to get to the bottom of it.
Because I think Sutton's also like, I have been really open about everything in my life. I've been very raw on the show.
And then you get to just poke at me and you get to have fights with me and you get to do all these things with me. And yet I'm not allowed to say question you and I've had it.
I'm going to ask you questions. And it's uncomfortable for Erica and for Dorit and for Kyle.
But like, it's also, she's doing her job. Okay.
It's not, it's not like she's going around like fat shaming them or something like that. I mean, you know, when sudden, when sudden the whole thing whole thing with the invasion and something's like, well, I had a hard day too, because there was someone who was supposed to be on a plane and couldn't come in here.
It's like, that was shitty, yes. But the truth is, like you said, this is a show about being sort of putting yourself out there on TV and they're not, they're being very protected.
They would get selectively protective, selectively open and and Sun's just kind of like, you can't do this and now you're going to make me look like the shitty person when I'm just doing the thing I'm supposed to be doing. Yeah, and so Erica's like, well, you pose as a friend and oftentimes work as an enemy.
And Garcelle just goes, wow. Wow.
Wow. She's like, you know, I've had enough sitting back watching Sutton Strack's fake apologies, fake sisterhood.
If Sutton was sincere about the apology last night, she wouldn't have had to bring it up and sell it to us one more time. I'm like, well, she would have because if you didn't bring it up, it's like, can you believe she just thinks she can say it this one time and then everything is fine.
So Sutton is like, here, I'm just going to emphasize that it was so important for me to bring it up that I'm going to say it again. And they're like, oh, really? Wow.
Now we know it's fake because you had to sell it to us a second time. And of course, Sutton is going to blow this up into a much bigger deal.
So she's like, to say that I mistreat women. How dare you? She's like, well, I mean these women here.
She goes, that is a very strong statement set in strike. Mistreats women.
How dare you? How dare you? Ramona Singer pops up. I believe the phrase you're looking for is you don't support other women, Erica.
So Erica's like, well, it's a true statement for me and what I've observed for the last three years and this is just my observation is that it's okay for you to say things and we can't say this. Oh, for someone like you to say that, that I mistreat women.
And to imply that I would ever mistreat someone as saintly and as godly as Kyle Richards over there, absolutely not. Yeah, and she's like i mean you do this thing you say i want to help you i feel bad for you and then we see the clip of her saying i'm here for you i got you a care package kit okay there's chips there's candy there's champagne there's handcuffs those are for sexuality not for prison and um i'm here for you and then kind of like confronting her and taking her down and she goes but then you turn around and call me a liar because you were lying about a lot of shit that's why okay she did one thing then you lied about stuff and then she asked you about the lying about stuff yeah so erica's like i'm just pointing out a pattern in the way that you treated people at their lowest point and so i'm like well i'm sorry i didn't realize that you cared about patterns because there were a lot of patterns in the Tom Girardi case of you involved in it.
So if we're going to go and talk about patterns, we're going to go there. But anyway, I'm sorry that I asked questions about the LA Times.
I'm sorry that I'm the only one here capable of reading more than three sentences in an article and therefore it all was on my shoulders to ask questions about it. It really seems to bother you.
She goes, of course it bothers me. She goes, okay, well, that's on you.
That's not on me. She goes, no, it's on you for doing what you did.
She goes, I apologize, Erica. She goes, well, I do accept your apology, but you still did it.
So Colin and David are like, oh my God, there's like a scene happening without us. Let's get involved.
So they come in. By the way, Dorita, we haven't talked about this.
Dorita's wearing like a Yosemite Sam hat. It is this, the most enormous beach hat.
It is like, it's like a, it looks like a giant, like, tortilla chip fell on her head. I took a picture of it because it was so funny.
I don't know if I've ever seen a beach hat that was as big as that. So she's like, how do you know you've been hard on Dorit? She goes, Dorit has been hard on me.
She goes, I know this, but you're kicking a dog when she's at her lowest. Well, I apologized.
I apologized and then I apologized today.

But I'm not going to be sitting here and put on trial by a judge and a jury like I'm a terrible person when I am not.

I am not.

I demand to have a jury of my peers, not a jury of my pores.

Oh, she wants a jury of beers.

I'm telling you, she does have a drinking problem.

Oh, come on.

Listen better.

So Erica's like, you can feel the way you want and I'm just telling you how i feel she's like oh well i can i can feel the way i want to thank you for the permission ma'am so erica's like oh i just knew the other she was gonna drop with er oh i'm sorry i'm sorry that was me doing my erica gerardi impersonation which was quite accurate i believe i just knew the other she was gonna drop with erica at some point and i knew not to trust it because she did this before to me. And so now we have montages of before of all those times when Erica has buttered up Sutton and then turned on her like at the reunion.
They're like, but I thought you said that you forgave. I thought you said that you forgave Sutton, Erica.
And she goes, oh, I was just playing a bitch. She was such a disaster that reunion.
That was one of the worst reunion performances. Oh, my God.
She just looked crazy, too. Oh, my God.
Whatever. She looked like a totally different person.
That was nuts. So Sutton's like, you're not a real friend, Erica.
You know what? I gave you a pizza party at Chuck E. Chase.
She's like, well, I basically, everyone, guess what? Here's the newsflash. I'm basically a terrible person.
That's what I am. You said I'm unkind to women.
We're going through their baddest, their worst point in their lives. It's like, well, you in this group? She's like, no, you said women as a whole.
Okay, let me tell you something. I was always nice to them.
I was nice to Nancy Reagan when I met her that one time. It's like, oh, they're talking about women in this group.
I mean, don't get into semantics. Oh, and now I'm anti-Semitic.
Is that what you're trying to say? Oh, wow, that's real convenient. Do you know how many Jewish people I've tried to help get divorce lawyers when their husbands cheat? I'm not even talking about Jewish people.
Well, see, look at me. I'm being inclusive in this argument, and you're not.
So now who's the mean one? And by the way, Kyle converted Judaism also. And guess what? She is a wonderful person, aren't you, Kyle? Kyle, I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend, right? Right? Well, she's just trying to clarify. She's just trying to clarify.
Let Erica clarify.

And Sutton's like, oh, my God.

Carl's jumped ship now.

Fucking bitch.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe that bitch.

But Sutton's sticking to this whole thing now.

Like, you say I'm anti-woman.

She's like, oh, shut up, Sutton.

I'm not saying anti-woman.

I'm saying anti-us.

I mean, this group.

Anti-woman.

How dare you?

So Sutton's trying to make it this much worse thing.

And then she's like, what do y'all want from me what do you want seriously what do you want from me i'm tired i get blamed for everything all you do is telling me i'm wrong constantly oh god man you are not gonna kick me when i'm down and this is during this time i'm like wow i'm like garcella is really being like quiet you know like normally they are been accusing garcella of being son's mouthpiece but Garcelle is not doing it this time, I'm like, wow. I'm like, Garcello's really being quiet.
Normally, they have been accusing Garcello of being Sutton's mouthpiece, but Garcello's not doing it this time. And she says, well, there's so many times that Kyle could step in to have Sutton's back, and she doesn't.
She's not doing it today, and Sutton refused to see it. And I've been seeing it for years.
And Garcello's kind of like, I'm not doing this. She didn't have my back last night.
I'm not going to have her back this time. Let's see if her new friend Kyle will jump in.
And, of course, she doesn't. Which, of course, Kyle jumps to the wrong side.
So, they're like, oh, come on. So, Dorit's in it now.
She's like, come on, come on, Sutton. And Sutton's like, pick on somebody else.
But why is it okay for you to pick on people? And she goes, I'm not picking on anybody. You picked on me.
It hurt. It's been three weeks of peen, pure peen.
Oh, come on, Doreen. She's like, if you don't think you've picked on me, that's okay, that's fine.
But you have. She's like, well, you know what? That's what I said.
She's like, and Sutton's like, I'm sorry. Erica's like, that's what I said.
I'm getting like very stimulated because it was a really good fight. And Sutton's like, I was, I was so handpicked by you.
I was the picking. I was like a little kernel of corn in your beak and you're picking and picking and picking.
Okay, again, you actually need to speak English so I can understand, please, handpicking. I don't get it.
Yeah, please, speak English words. I don't understand what you're saying and she's like well maybe if i did it in an english accent it would work better for you maybe so maybe so that did actually help quite a bit thank you i was a little confused i can only take so much okay um so good you know i apologize to you and I meant every single thing she's like well you apologize for Caviar Caspia but what are you but you're not understanding is that there's more to apologize for well that's all I am gonna apologize for for Caviar for calling you poor at the Caviar place oh really what about bitching me whom you know what that's it I it.
I'm not going to apologize for anything else. I am good.
I am good right now. Do you want to move forward? Do you want to move forward, surgeon? She says, well, not right now.
I'm good right now. I am good.
It's like, well, well, well. Her actions have been saying all along.
But for the first time, her words and actions match.

And this is why I don't believe your apology.

Oh, please, you pick and you pick.

Sutton's right that Dorit just keeps picking and picking until Sutton gets pissed, and then she goes,

there she is, losing her temper.

Well, what you ordered.

Don't order a hamburger and be mad that you got fries on the side.

You know what?

I apologize, and I meant my apology, but i want to be on us with you carcass in bo's like oh well this is really surprising to me i don't know this sutton in this way she's lashing out she's angry and i'm seeing a different side that i'm not sure i like where have you been bo's that's personality lashing out like 30 breakdowns this season alone it's not like it's your first time seeing him. So Sutton's like, this is not going to be Sutton on trial.
But it's a good week. I'm not doing that.
Last week on Crazy Yacht from Hell. So Sutton, she's like, she has her hat.
She puts on her hat. And she's just like, I'm going to go.
I'm going to go. So she like walks off.
And Garcele's like, normally I would have something to say and I really don't like to see them pile up on Sutton. And under regular circumstances, I would just say, everyone, no, but I'm not going to do that because the other night she didn't have my back.
I'm not going to stick my neck out for her when she doesn't do it for me. She can deal with it.
And Kyle's like, I mean, Sutton loves to start an issue and then just create a whole chaos around it and then act like a victim. She didn't start this, though.
You were sitting right there. She just said she meant for apology.
Yeah. So then Erica's like, oh, she's triggered because she knows I'm right.
So Kyle goes to follow Sutton. And Sutton's like, I just need to be by myself.
Two seconds. Two seconds.
I've got things to say. Very important things to say.
And Kathy goes, these boat rides, they're not really working. I don't think these are working.
You know what? I came down here to console you, one very rich lady to another

very rich lady. Sometimes poor people

just don't understand, and you have to let poor people

just be poor, and that's okay.

She's like, thank you. Thank you for saying that.

You know, I hate these fucking bitches.

They're such a fucking

fitnesses. Such a fucking bitch.

And that's

where we end. Sudden having to break down

out of a boat window holding her son hat on just saying the C word over and over it was really good it was a really good pile on on Sutton and she acted exactly how you'd expect her to act which is why she's so wonderful why she's been wonderful all along because she just can't help but be the disaster that she is so everyone thank you for being here for listening uh go to watch what crappens.com get your tickets for the shows that are happening this weekend and beyond and we will catch you on the next episode bye everyone bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it Amanda Foster. It's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto.
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