#2768 Below Deck Down Under S03E07: Letters From a Go-Go Poet

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Speaker 1 Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on Yeo Bravs. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there.
Hi, Ben.

Speaker 2 Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

Speaker 1 Good, excited, because we are still on the road. This weekend, we are going to be in Charlotte doing Southern Charm Season Finale.

Speaker 1 Then Then we're going to be in Atlanta doing a classic episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. Ben, what is it again?

Speaker 2 Oh, geez. Oh, geez.

Speaker 1 Look at that. We'll tell you in a second.
And then following that, we are going to be in Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, Austin, Dallas, and Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 You can get links for tickets and our schedule over at watchwhatcrappins.com, as well as a link to our Patreon, which is where you find the videos. Like we're doing right now.
Hi.

Speaker 1 And you can also find our bonus episodes. We did full traders recaps and now we are doing some airport snaps, which is where we judge the fuck out of people in an airport.
That's super fun.

Speaker 1 We just did one in Cincinnati that was really good. So go check those out.
And thanks for being here, everybody.

Speaker 1 Today is Below Death. Oh, did you find it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I found it. I found it, everyone.
The episode we are doing in Atlanta is Orange County Bringing Up Old Ghosts ghosts season 11, episode 16,

Speaker 2 which is uh, it is the Ireland episode. It's one of the two Ireland episodes.

Speaker 2 This is the one where they, uh, I think that they get Kelly drunk, and then there's a fight in the bus at the end of the episode.

Speaker 2 So, it's a really classic, hilarious show, and we are going to have a lot of fun recapping it down in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so come check that out. So, let's hit up some below deck down under season three, episode seven, declaration of love.

Speaker 1 Mmm.

Speaker 2 So it's 7 a.m. or it's right before the charter, and Harry's checking in on Brie and asking if she slept well.
I mean, the chemistry is off the charts with these two. And she said she did sleep well.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 that's a love story if I ever heard one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he gives her a little peck and she's just like, make a move, make a move.

Speaker 2 Do something.

Speaker 1 Then we go to Serena and Alicia. Alicia, who is the new Sous chef, and they're very excited for their first day.
And then Johnny comes in all creepily. I mean, I know he thinks he's romantic.

Speaker 1 He doesn't come off as romantic. He really does come off as assaulty.
And I need him to back down a little bit. He's like, hello.
It was so nice dancing with you yesterday.

Speaker 1 And she's like, yeah, it was good fun. Yeah, yeah.
I hope I didn't make you feel awkward or anything.

Speaker 1 Do you feel better now that my hand is on your boob? How does that feel?

Speaker 2 I hope I didn't make you feel awkward or anything when I went in and tried to kiss you after knowing you for 35 minutes.

Speaker 2 Just say, I'm sorry for making it awkward. Not I hope I didn't.
Because it's like, you did make it. You know you made it awkward.

Speaker 2 You know you made it awkward enough that you are coming down into the galley the next day to have to say this. So don't I hate when people are like, oh, I hope I didn't make it awkward.

Speaker 2 It's like, of course you did. And now I have to pretend like you didn't.

Speaker 1 Well, she doesn't really feel like it was too awkward. She's like, whatever.
You know, she's like, okay.

Speaker 2 I think she likes him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she seems to like him. And he's like, I know it was too much, especially for your first day.
So day two, impregnation. Meet me on deck.

Speaker 2 She's like, no, there was nothing wrong. It was quite good fun.
It's just that it's my first day on a reality show, and I don't want to totally embarrass myself this quickly.

Speaker 1 He's like, I just wanted to make sure that the rest of the guys weren't fuckwits, and they are. So fool steam ahead.

Speaker 2 I know, right? He's like, last night I went in for a kiss, and it was a little bit out of character for me.

Speaker 2 You know, in Greece, we have Greece green gods, Aphrodite, Eros, and they're definitely knocking on my door from being cold in my heart. You know, the arrow, pretend to get shot in chest with arrow.

Speaker 2 Oh, Cupid, Dionysus, yogurt. I feel warmer.
You'll see, I have heart and love in me now.

Speaker 1 Even his view of love is so violent.

Speaker 2 He's like, and then I love by shooting heart.

Speaker 1 She falls down, she bleeds all over ground, and we marry. Jesus, calm down, sir.
So, Jason is announcing that the jet ski replacement has just arrived.

Speaker 1 Thankfully, it's wearing a kimono by Captain Slange. Please pick that up.

Speaker 2 It's a beautiful accessory for your jet ski.

Speaker 1 So, Ray and Marina are doing some rooms, and the deck crew is doing jet skis. And now,

Speaker 1 Serena is announcing it's time to do the fridge and freezer, just going through like moldy veg, basically. Um, and so they do that.

Speaker 2 So then, uh, Vion and Lara are catching up, and she's asking how his night was.

Speaker 2 And he's like, um, he's basically like, Well, I told you, I told I told Zarina I was interested in someone else, and she's like, Oh, and Zarina took it okay.

Speaker 2 She's like, Well, yes, and then she caught me off guard before, just before my cabin, and she was like, Kiss me now.

Speaker 2 And so we kissed, and um, you know, but it wasn't me, she was she was kissing me, and she's like,

Speaker 2 So you just like, why would you do this?

Speaker 2 And he keeps on acting all passive this is such the classic thing this is like a carl carl radke thing he's like no it i didn't kiss her she kissed me i just happened to be there like sir we saw you you two were both kissing and if you didn't want to kiss her you could have walked away you could you know exactly how to defuse that situation and you're acting like oh no and this is not a victim blaming situation because this is a situation where he was he is enjoying doing this this sounds like problematic language but i'm totally backing it when it comes to vion because i think he was totally down for it but he doesn't want to have any of the responsibility or the accountability that comes along with this well he has none i think he has no accountability with this because she pulled him into the thing she kissed him yeah he kissed her back but he had just told her he's not into her so and he's like well she knows well she's standing with me and laura's like don't mess with my girls but yeah i mean i think serena knows right serena doesn't seem to be, you know, thinking they're married

Speaker 1 or anything.

Speaker 2 I think Serena's like, okay, but I'm just saying on his part, like, he's the sort of person that he's like, oh, yeah, no, I, I said this last week.

Speaker 2 You know, he's, he's the sort of one who's like, I'm gonna, he's gonna establish these boundaries solely that way he can say he's established the boundaries.

Speaker 2 And then when stuff happens, he'd be like, but I established a boundary. You can't be mad at me.

Speaker 1 So, but he did establish a boundary, which is unlike, I think a lot of these fuckboys do the thing where they're like, well, I'm not sure. And I'm not sure I want a relationship.

Speaker 1 And that's their boundary where they're like, they're kind of trying to have their cake and eat it too, which is all saying for the week.

Speaker 1 In case anybody wants to really argue what it means deeply.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think he wants to have it both.

Speaker 1 You know, most guys want to have it both ways on these shows where they're like, I'm just not sure I'm ready for a relationship, but we can see where this goes. Where he was like, no, I like.

Speaker 1 That other girl, you know, I like Forrest Gump. And then, you know, I think that was a little clearer at least.
I don't know why I'm standing up for Vion, but.

Speaker 2 I know, I'm surprised because, you know, Ben did this on Below Deck. Remember when he was with that lady,

Speaker 2 Sonny? And I hate to bring us back to Ben and Sonny, but he basically breaks up with Sonny. And then she's like, fine.

Speaker 2 And then he like, he's like, oh, well, now I'm going to start making out with you. And it's like,

Speaker 2 it's like, it's. It's, it's like, I think some weird,

Speaker 2 it's a weird, not strategy. It's like a thing.

Speaker 2 It's a tactic that I feel like fuckboys do when they don't want to be held responsibility for like the emotional elements that come with a hookup or a relationship and i just think it's just like i what i hate is the vion just acting all passive in it like oh he wasn't even part of this he was you know he just got roped in it's like you were an active part of this vion and you're acting like you're not and i'm just not here for it the only thing you've been active with this entire episode i'd like to add well i guess my thing is vion's like a such a douchebag and such a a sad worker for the rest of this like there's so many other reasons to be mad at him.

Speaker 1 But I think for this show, he was at least pretty clear. Whereas most guys, I think, would just lead all three on, whereas he was at least like, no, I like this one.

Speaker 1 And now I'm going to write her, you know, I'm going to write her letters on the little free notebook you get on your Marriott game stand.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, okay, I'll give him credit for being a little clearer than most of the fuckboys, but I still think that like...

Speaker 2 He's just going downhill very rapidly for me.

Speaker 1 Also, Serena's just getting on my nerves because like he said no. Like,

Speaker 1 get some self-respect, Serena. Like, I love Serena, so I don't like watching Serena be like, oh, but let's see if I can still try it.

Speaker 1 Stop it.

Speaker 2 Just stop it.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 Now we go back to the galley and she's talking to Alyssia. And she's like, so have you done some cooking? She's like, well, I don't want to disappoint you.

Speaker 1 You know, I've got a passion for it, but I'm not really a chef. Just hand me a chili and something green.
Let's get going, shall we?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 It's like, well, I wouldn't expect you to be a chef at 25 anyway. She's like, well, I'd love to learn anything I can from you, but whatever, whatever you need, I'll do my best to help.

Speaker 2 Now, tell me, what is salt? It's like, oh, dear. So basically, Zarina is going to have her start off making crew food and then go from there.
And then Alicia tells us about her background.

Speaker 2 And she says that she has no official training, but she has a lot of passion, which is great. But if I'm on a five-star yacht,

Speaker 2 I want to be like, well, this soup tastes like mud, but it also tastes like passion. So I'm going to keep eating it.

Speaker 2 I want the training too, not just the passion.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, some of us just watch, you know, Food Network. Okay.
Still learn to cook. Watch a couple of YouTubes.
You can learn.

Speaker 2 Can you learn to cook on the Food Network these days? Can you? Searing commentary from Ben Mandelker. Anyway,

Speaker 1 she's learning to compete against Guy Fieti to learn how to

Speaker 1 chase a can down a grocery aisle or whatever the fuck he's doing these days.

Speaker 2 Even learned to mix like bubble gum and duck confid together.

Speaker 1 Yeah. In a bottle.
So her other big story is, but the thing I'm one of four sisters and I have a twin sister and she plays such a pivotal role in my life. I'm obsessed with her.

Speaker 1 I want to be her, that goddamn bitch. One day I'll be her.

Speaker 1 So I've decided to cook and just try my own thing, you know, because before all I would really do is put pictures of my twin sister, which were basically me, but then I'd put pins through their head every day.

Speaker 1 And I started to get a headache and I said, god damn it, karma, can you pay attention? We're twins.

Speaker 1 Nobody could tell us apart in case, unless it came to our report cards or boys that wanted to date us or cars that our parents bought us.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, we were both like so together. And then my identity was bound to her completely.
And then she moved on.

Speaker 2 She got a boyfriend, moved to Australia, did everything she could to get away from me.

Speaker 2 And I kind of hit a low point and I started going out more, partying more, doing anything to mask the feeling of being alone, which is my way of saying, I wound up in the gutter. And food saved me.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you.
I'm a chef.

Speaker 1 And she's like, and you know, now she's got her own life. She's out in Australia, which is wonderful.
And so now it's time to grow up and learn how to make things that

Speaker 1 have a taste at how it's a poisoning that I'm going to feed her one day on a goddamn wedding night. It's great.
You know, it's going great.

Speaker 2 Now that my twin sister has moved off to Australia from England, it's time for me to establish my own identity by being on below deck Australia.

Speaker 1 They're like, what's your name? Ashley? I'm sorry. I thought your name was Alicia.
No, I'm Ashley. I'm very happy.
I have a boyfriend.

Speaker 1 Please let me embezzle your money. She's just going to do one of those shows where she turns into the twin.
Just to fucking die.

Speaker 2 Or there's never was a twin.

Speaker 1 Ugh, the best.

Speaker 2 I love twin intrigue. It's so good.

Speaker 1 Every single Michelle Keller.

Speaker 2 It is always good.

Speaker 2 Whether it turns out there's a secret twin or whether there's you've always known about the twin, but like they have a competition. It just always works out well in stories.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Has there ever been a dull twin?

Speaker 1 A doll twin? Oh, yeah. There's a lot of dull twins.

Speaker 2 Real houses in New Jersey. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How can you call them dull? One of them fucked their mother.

Speaker 1 One of them had a husband who fucked the mother, right?

Speaker 2 That's true. And they would meet and have culadas at Dunkin' Donuts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were exciting. They're exciting twins.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Harry and Johnny are talking about the new girl because Harry's so, you know, thirsty for the tea. He's like, so you and the new girl, tell me the tea.

Speaker 1 Won't tell anybody except Brianna and all the girls and cleaning, of course.

Speaker 1 What's going on? He's like, I like her. Oh, my heart.
I've been shot. I'm bleeding.
Bleeding on the ground. Fucking Eros.

Speaker 2 Death by Cupid. And he's like, well, you know, don't remember.
There's no rush. Is there? My recommendation, give her a kiss and then give her a second kiss two weeks later.
And he's like, got it.

Speaker 1 So then Marina is asking Brie about her and Harry and she's like, well, I think we're both kind of shy and it's kind of tough. I mean, where are the conversations?

Speaker 1 This morning he passed by me and kissed me on the ear and he still hasn't talked to me about it. What did it mean?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 She's just in an existential spiral because of Harry, which is amazing. Just quietly on the side of the show.

Speaker 2 It just always cuts her being like, huh, I'm having some trouble opening up the peanut butter. Does this mean something about me and Harry?

Speaker 1 What does it mean? And she's like, you know, I was hoping to see where Harry's head's at, but oh my gosh, it's just, I'm just going to get tired of this questioning game.

Speaker 1 I mean, this morning he said, how's your morning?

Speaker 1 What am I supposed to do with that?

Speaker 1 Did he mean this time zone or in America?

Speaker 2 Because it's not morning in America. It's so confusing.

Speaker 2 So then Lion is talking to Zarina and he's like, well, I think that Laura's angry at me. She's like, well, what did you do to her? I was like, I didn't do anything.

Speaker 2 And then Laura walks right in with that.

Speaker 2 She's really growing to hate Vion, which I love. Like, we've been waiting for this.
I think we thought this was going to happen a few episodes ago.

Speaker 2 So it's been kind of like, come on, Laura, be exasperated. And she's getting there.
So I'm very happy. And she just sees him.
And she's like,

Speaker 2 he's been kissing too many girls, including you, Serena, you slut.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he's like, too many? Who else did I kiss? There's six girls on this boat. Oh, and you're going to get through all of them, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 And he's like, Well, are you going to apologize to me, Laura? And she's like, No, why would I apologize to you, you slut? Wipe your face. Why is it always oily?

Speaker 1 How is your face oily every single time I see you? And that's one of the things I wonder about him because, you know, I'm a big fan of argon oil. That's what I put on my skin.

Speaker 1 So I have an oily tint to me as well. Not tint, but sheen.
I have like an oily sheen to me.

Speaker 2 I never think you have an oily sheen. Really? Never.

Speaker 1 Well, sometimes like I'll show you like fresh out of the shower and I'll be a little sheeny.

Speaker 1 But it's because I love an argon oil, you know, but I don't know what his deal is because he's all, have you noticed he's always shiny?

Speaker 2 Well, it could be that it's like massively hot and humid there, and maybe he just has oily skin. He might just have

Speaker 2 he just might have, he just might be an oily-skinned person.

Speaker 1 He's just so sexual, he's always lubed. He's always ready.
He's lubed up.

Speaker 2 He's ready. So Zarina tells us, at this point, I think Vian and I are just flirty friends and that probably shouldn't drink around each other.

Speaker 2 And Vion is obviously a shitster so let's be clear i would i would definitely hook up with him though little muscle man been waiting two seasons on the show to get some good action

Speaker 2 so um then marina is like finds a bed a singular hair in the middle of the bed under the under the comforter i don't know how she did that that's

Speaker 1 talk about how she did it i don't really understand marina's process here i know everybody's like oh my god marina you're amazing in housekeeping if i saw this in housekeeping i would decapitate her okay this is what she did.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Sorry. It's an extreme day.
Okay. I locked myself out of the house.
It's been a rough morning. So

Speaker 1 here's how she did it. She's at the foot of the bed.
She gets on her knees at the foot of the bed.

Speaker 1 She untucks the comforter and then she puts it over her head and slides up halfway into the bed and then slides her head back out the bed and goes, look, I found a hair.

Speaker 1 How many hairs do you think are in there now? Exactly. She just left 10 more hairs at least, at the very least, 10 hairs.

Speaker 2 It was way more

Speaker 1 now.

Speaker 2 Or the hair. Well, the hair is already off.

Speaker 2 So I agree.

Speaker 2 I felt like that was a counterproductive way to remove a single hair. You know, like it was a pyrrhic victory, as they would say, which is where you win the battle.

Speaker 2 But you win the battle, but you lose the war. The reason why I know this is because I went on a cruise.

Speaker 2 And back in 2018, everyone may remember I was gone for a week. I went on a cruise with my family and one of the stops was Albania.
And I was like, Well, I'm going to go to Albania.

Speaker 2 When am I ever going to go there? And this is, as you may remember, I asked my tour guide if he had heard of Bleona, who this is a real deep cut.

Speaker 2 Because if you know who Bleona is, one of the stars of Euros of Hollywood, you want famous, famous,

Speaker 2 a fully underrated Bravo show that only had one season. Bravo had like a series of great one-season wonders back in like around 2015.
Anyway,

Speaker 2 the tour guide was very proud that there was a battle in Albania where this Albanian leader named like

Speaker 2 Scandoval,

Speaker 2 something like that.

Speaker 2 Scandoval won.

Speaker 1 The Pyrrhic victory is when you put an apple against a pear and a pear wins because it's got some fuzz on its belly.

Speaker 2 I'm a lawyer and a storyteller.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, I went into Craig.

Speaker 2 But anyway, the point is that there was a battle that happened in Albania that was like won the battle, staved off the Ottomans for like a heartbeat, But then like the Ottomans came through anyway and they lost the war and it became known as a Pyrrhic victory That is your history lesson today everyone.

Speaker 1 You're welcome

Speaker 1 The Ottoman also lost the war of the couch because The couch always gets it back and the Ottoman doesn't the Ottoman is just kind of there. It's like optional couches win.
Sorry Ottomans.

Speaker 1 Sorry for your empire.

Speaker 2 Ottoman, Ottoman, I mean, it's funny to think that our little sweet Ottomans next to our sofas had an empire at one point.

Speaker 1 They did. And now they're like, God damn it.
Do you guys remember the time where we were actual beings and we weren't just things that people put their feet on?

Speaker 2 Now they're just like sidekicks to sofas. They're like, there was a time when we weren't the side, we were the leaders.
So our sidekicks.

Speaker 1 That doesn't even make sense. God, no one cares if I get a stain.

Speaker 2 Yeah, by the way, I think I just want to say, because I know I'm going to get some emails that

Speaker 2 the leader, whose name I forgot,

Speaker 2 scandal something, a very important person in Albanian history, was not part of this battle for the, it was King Pyrrhus.

Speaker 2 And so that's why it's called a Peric victory because it was King Pyrrhus who did love that victory. Okay, so it's a great story, everyone.

Speaker 2 And this all, of course, relates to Below Deck because this is, of course, a great illustration of the Peric victory: Marina's hair coming out while she removes a single hair under a comforter.

Speaker 1 If King Pyrrhus knew that one day this is what he'd be reduced to,

Speaker 2 the below decker gap.

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Speaker 1 so serena is talking about making toasties for crew lunch and alicia's like is there a toasty machine excuse me you lazy ass

Speaker 1 Apparently there is a toasting machine. What is a toasting machine? A toaster?

Speaker 2 Is it a toaster? I assume it's a toaster.

Speaker 2 You know, but the thing is this, you've got a flat top make it on the flat tops right like i've become i'm a latent life convert to toasting bread in a skillet i this is something i never even really knew was a true option until i was listening to a podcast called the recipe which i love with kenji lopez alt and and deb perlman and they talked about toasting bread in a skillet and i was like i'm gonna try it and i'm telling you if you've got like a nice piece of bread and you toast it in a skillet it is life-changing it is so much better than a toaster or toaster oven that's my

Speaker 1 bagel sandwiches.

Speaker 2 You just put it right into a skillet, yeah.

Speaker 2 I've made you one, get out, yeah. It gets such a beautiful char.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you put some butter on there, though, the way I do it, and then you like cook the shit out of those bagels until they're nice and brown, toasty, and buttery.

Speaker 1 Okay, so there's a toasting machine, so now it's four hours till charter, and Vion and Adair are washing the deck. And Vion's like, Oh, I think I should share something with you.

Speaker 2 And she's like, I'm here, of course light, bud light, whatever it is, I'm down.

Speaker 2 No, yes, well, I don't know if you know what's going on. I really don't know what's going on.
What are you trying to say to me?

Speaker 2 Was it you have to give me a little bit more context? And he's like, well, it's a little bit of a thing going on with Marina and Zorina. Oh, they rhyme.
Yeah, I got that. I know about that.

Speaker 2 Okay, back to work. No, no, no, no, no.
There's more to it than that.

Speaker 2 How could there be more to it?

Speaker 1 I used to date a guy named Bill, and I also dated another guy named Will. It was the most confusing shit I ever heard in my life.
Is that what's happening to you?

Speaker 2 He's like, Yeah, one time I was texting a guy named Bob and a guy named Rob. Turns out the same person.
How does someone named Bob, how do they have the two different nicknames, Bob and Rob?

Speaker 2 Why don't you choose one? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Then I got back on Tinder and I met a Rob Bob. What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Turns out Bill and Will are also the same nickname. What the hell?

Speaker 1 Try to date a Billy Bob after you dated the Bob Rob and the Bill Bob.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, I was so confused when I watched The hobbit i was like bilbo baggies now that's like half the guys i just hated

Speaker 1 so he's like actually there it was between me and marina and serena and she's like oh and you oh and he's like but i told him it's not going to work and she's like so what do you just feel bad like what's the story i'm i've got

Speaker 1 i'm crapping in the mud like what do you want and he's like no it's the other part of the story so she asked me is there anyone that you into and i said yes but unfortunately we are working together and she's like oh that's sweet.

Speaker 1 Harry's gonna love that

Speaker 2 It's like no I don't want to make you make anyone feel uncomfortable

Speaker 2 you won't make me feel I come from the world of mud and I don't get uncomfortable. It's like okay, well I think you're really fucking cool and I thought I'd share that with you.
Ah, thanks. You know

Speaker 2 Well, we still have a lot of time to go slow, so let's go slow. This is like this is the first time we've seen so many people people promote slow romances on Blow Tech.

Speaker 2 Although in her case, she just wants no romance. Let's be honest.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like, oh, I mean, look, we and our great team and everything, but he's not really my type of guy. Okay.
I want my guy to have a southern accent, a big lifted truck.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, at our wedding, I want him to sing, I hope you damn, something like that, you know?

Speaker 1 What's it got on his, what's it got on his iPhone music? You know, I need something like with trucks in it. I want it to be about trucks or Jesus.
This is bullshit. What do you even listen to?

Speaker 1 He drives a

Speaker 1 cooper.

Speaker 2 She's so disinterested in him.

Speaker 1 That's so funny. She goes,

Speaker 1 you think when he's going to pull up, he's going to roll down the window in his lifted King Ranch? No, he drives a mini Cooper.

Speaker 2 Stupid puss.

Speaker 2 So then

Speaker 2 preference sheet meetings.

Speaker 2 All right, everyone. It's another group of ladies.

Speaker 2 Caroline is a trial attorney and a philanthropist and she's reuniting with friends from Sanford San Diego and Pith Australia so on night one they want to have a tropical themed evening and then on day two they want to go on a biking tour and visit a tortoise sanctuary which I knew Ronnie you were excited about because it was like cute animals and then um they also tortoises aren't really cute but this was a cute tortoise

Speaker 2 though this was actually a really cute tortoise I think tortoises are I agree they're not that cute but this but they are well well, they are inherently, I think that turtles and tortoises, they have like an inherent cuteness because they got that big, that big old shell.

Speaker 2 And that big old shell is so cute. That it's, it's cute.
But they're so, but the thing is, they're so big that they kind of lose the cuteness. They can't be a little turtle.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I remember when I had a little pig spanky and I had to take him to that farm.
They had a tortoise that was as big as a backyard. I was like, holy crap, it looks like a spaceship.

Speaker 1 I think the best thing about tortoises is like, you go see them when you need to feel young, you know?

Speaker 1 Because like as you you get older especially somewhere like la there's like fewer and fewer aging people because you know they move but um you know you just see young people everywhere and then it's nice you know you can go see a turtle and be like gosh you're 200 years old fuck yeah i'm only 49 so suck my dick turtle There's a neighborhood, there's a neighborhood turtle around here, a tortoise.

Speaker 2 Although I haven't seen it in forever, maybe the owner moved away, but you go walking down the sidewalk and there, there would be the lady and her tortoise would be down there.

Speaker 2 And like, it was, it was pretty cute. I'm actually going to say, tortoises are cute because you know what? They eat grass like it's a, like it's an ice cream cone.

Speaker 2 When they see a blade of grass, they're like,

Speaker 2 they're so happy. It's like they've never, they're like, oh my God, do I get to have grass today?

Speaker 2 And they just sit there and they chomp on that blade of grass and they are, they are just so delighted. It's adorable.

Speaker 1 We're going to get to see them in a minute. So they also want a tour with a picnic on the iconic Enso.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 they're going to go on the Tinder, and then they're going to go to Coconut Grove for a picnic. I mean, this is amazing, guys.
And then the picnic can go set up when the guests are away.

Speaker 1 And then maybe we can send a crew with the bike so that we're on radio contact. And, you know, everything needs to be coordinated because this is a whole day of traveling around.

Speaker 1 It's going to require a lot of coordination, okay? And Vion's just kind of staring out into space. He's like, What rhymes with love?

Speaker 1 Love. I know.

Speaker 2 I know he's falling in love.

Speaker 2 So then Jason starts telling us more. He starts telling us about, I guess, this island or

Speaker 2 location called Ladique, which sounds like he's saying Ladik. And he's like, well, Ladique has a number, has the number one beach in the world at the moment.

Speaker 2 And it's beautiful turquoise water and white sand and granite mountains and a tortoise sanctuary. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Speaker 2 And that's why people travel all around the world to go to the Seychelles, which is why it's a shame that they wound up on our charter boat because you pay a lot of money to have really mediocre service.

Speaker 2 Oh, well.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, the trip to Ladique is being planned by a man who can only think with Ladique. So good luck.
Good luck to him. Shakespeare Ladique.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 1 three hours until charter. So Darrell is like talking to Johnny.
And she's like, is your chest okay? You keep holding it. He's like, I've been shot.
And she's like, well, how about this?

Speaker 2 You ever been to a waffle house?

Speaker 1 It's like, no. And she goes, what? you would love a waffle house.
You eat waffles and wait for somebody to fight. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 He's like, I don't even know what waffle is. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 So then, um,

Speaker 2 uh, now, so Zarina tastes Alicia's soup, and it's the seasoning is not really strong, but you know, she's young and she's new and she's green, etc.

Speaker 2 And then Vion, and then everyone's working, of course, and Harry's like, Where's Vion? Well, everyone is slaving away. Vion is writing Adair a love note.
And he reads us, or tells us,

Speaker 2 he's like, Adair, well, country music is, sorry,

Speaker 2 country music is playing in the background here. That was not part of his poem.

Speaker 2 That's not part of his poem, but he's like, he's like, clearly those beautiful green eyes and beautiful smile have taken over.

Speaker 2 And all I'm thinking about is the next time I'm going to see you again, to feel these crazy butterfly feelings in my tummy again. Your presence light up a room.

Speaker 2 I love you.

Speaker 2 When you're going to see her again, you're her boss. You see her every like five minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And this definitely goes to show, you know, everybody's saying, like, don't give a man too much attention because they're not interested in that. You have to pretend you don't like him.

Speaker 1 I mean, in this case, she really doesn't like him, but look how well it works. Like, he's got people who like him all over the place.
And he's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. They like me too much.

Speaker 1 And then the one that doesn't like him is like, oh my God, I have to marry her. I can't stop thinking about her.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And you know, this is this is probably the most unappetizing gesture for Adair.

Speaker 2 I mean, this, she said, she wants a guy in a truck and to give, like, someone who's going to give her a beer and go shoot pool or something like that. And then just get this

Speaker 1 love poem.

Speaker 2 Disgusting. This is Minnie Cooper Love 101.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So now

Speaker 1 everyone's noticing Vihan's not there and they're doing provisions and stuff. And Laura's lifting all these heavy boxes.
And Johnny's like, don't lift. There's so many men here.
Why would you lift?

Speaker 1 And she's like, but where?

Speaker 1 I do not see one. If you could show me one, that would be nice.
Because, you know, Vion's off writing letters. God knows where all these guys are.
So she just does it.

Speaker 1 And they're talking about air conditioning. And Vion's like, she's like, Vion, could you maybe do this? Because I'm doing these back and forth.
So maybe could you carry some stuff?

Speaker 1 And he's like, but we have to carry it all the way down. So he picks the down, the down slope.

Speaker 2 And leaves.

Speaker 2 By the way, the stews are going to the provisioner and to the boat with the stuff. And Vion's just standing there in the doorway while everyone else is like bringing stuff down to the galley.

Speaker 2 But basically,

Speaker 2 the stews are supposed to be doing the interior part of this. Instead, they're out doing the deckhand part of it.

Speaker 1 Yes. So he's getting worse every week, this guy.
I mean, he's getting worse and worse at his job. So then Lara's like, oh, bye.
Vion's a princess.

Speaker 1 And he's like, oh, how am I a princess if I'm fucking helping?

Speaker 1 Would a princess stand at a dock and watch people pass by with boxes? No.

Speaker 2 Would a princess

Speaker 2 isolate herself away and write love letters to admirers? It's like, yes, actually.

Speaker 2 So then Laura's like, the boys can have boys. She's going to give everyone Hawaiian shirts for tonight because it's a charter, which means it's time to have the guys come out shirtless again.

Speaker 2 Every single charter she does this.

Speaker 1 She's getting worse. Like she's putting metallic booty shorts, like these skin-tight little short shorts for the guys.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, every time it's getting to be like, they're going to start getting pissed soon. I mean, Vion does get pissed, but not really because of this.

Speaker 1 He's like this at her for personal reasons, but I ain't doing that. Fuck you.
I'm not wearing fucking booty shorts every night without shirts. I'm not even paid to do this job.
This is your job.

Speaker 1 Why are you putting me in a costume job to pass plates? That's your job, ma'am.

Speaker 2 So then Lara meets with the stews and she basically tells Marina that she's going to stay on housekeeping because she's really good at it.

Speaker 2 And Marina is, of course, upset about it because this is what happens. This is the Latin life on Blow Deck.

Speaker 2 When you're good at laundry and housekeeping, you get stuck there the whole season and then you complain about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and she's like, oh, I'm pissed. You know, compliments will go so far when you don't see the light of day for three days.
It's not fair.

Speaker 1 Well, don't worry. You just left a whole head of hair in a bed.
So maybe you'll get moved off that job.

Speaker 2 Yeah, seriously. And Laura's basically like, I've got a job here, and I've got to, I've got to choose the best people for the job, so it is what it is.

Speaker 2 Um, so now it's 30 minutes to charter, last-minute looks and everything, double-checking toiletries in the shower, etc.

Speaker 2 And then Harry's asking Alicia if she's ready for her first charter, and you know, she's like, Yeah, and so they're all getting ready, and then um, Johnny finds his booty shorts and he's like, Oh, I found booty shorts in bed.

Speaker 2 Should I wear for Alicia? Hey, you have the same bro, and they're like, Oh, God, more booty. Another night of booty short service for the guests.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's like, Lara's, he asked how Lara's doing. And she's like, oh, my God, I'm kind of hot, but fine.
He's like, is it as hot outside as I am on the inside?

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, my God, if you need a fan, go to the galley. All right.
They're all down there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, um, okay, so Lara's talking to Zarina and she's like, she's like, you know, I really like Vion,

Speaker 2 but every time I see him, he's just chatting to Adele. Like, he just doesn't fucking do anything, you know.
And Adele and Vian's like talking to Harry, and he's like,

Speaker 2 Adele makes me just so nervous, bro. I mean, look, look, I wrote this letter for her.
Harry's like, Really? Well, you better take it a little bit slower before you send that letter.

Speaker 2 I would hold on to it for another week and a half and then give it one line at a time.

Speaker 1 Letter, a letter is third base. You can't do that.

Speaker 1 You haven't even met her parents yet.

Speaker 1 He's like, but read it, bro, because it's got a lot of depth. Oh, poor Vion.
It does not have a lot of depth, Vion. Poor, sad, go-go, Vion.
So Serena is like, oh, Jesus, it's so hot.

Speaker 1 Can someone turn the temperature down? My tits are sweating.

Speaker 1 So now the guests arrive, and we learn a little bit about Caroline from her bio that pops up. She's from La Jolla.
She's a trial attorney, a philanthropist.

Speaker 1 She has her own parking spot at her favorite winery, Napa. So she's also a drinker and a driver.

Speaker 2 So she's also an alcoholic.

Speaker 2 Good for her. So

Speaker 1 Carolyn, thankfully a lawyer, because she's got to get herself out a lot of DUIs. I know.

Speaker 1 It's like way to throw Carolyn under the bus.

Speaker 2 You know, she doesn't have a parking spot. She knows she's when they ask her to fill out the forms.
It's like, well, you know, they love me out there. I practically have a parking spot.

Speaker 2 You know, this is just

Speaker 2 like, she probably drove her car through the wall.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 they come on board and everyone says hello. And then one of Caroline, Caroline says to one of her friends, like, hey, just so you know, the captain is majorly checking you out.

Speaker 2 And I cut to Captain Jason looking like as far away from the women as possible. Yeah, he's into you.

Speaker 1 Oh, I need to crack on with the platters. Maybe we should do like a little hummus plate or something.
So Alicia starts making that. And meanwhile,

Speaker 1 Adair is doing the tender and people are doing the dock. And now they're en route to Ladic.

Speaker 2 So how much damn right Le R

Speaker 2 I've been on route to the dick for a long time okay and I find it each and every time I try to find it.

Speaker 1 So Alicia has agreed to make Thai food for the crew lunch. Surely this is going to work out great.
And Serena and her talk about how much they're, how great they are at working together and stuff.

Speaker 1 And Serena's like, you know, Alicia's amazing. Normally I like to sit on a counter and really ask the person, what do you do? What's your favorite color? Where have you gone to school?

Speaker 1 Do you know what chiffonard means do you like french bulldogs or chihuahuas

Speaker 1 what's your favorite kind of knife pairing or chefs you know sort of stuff like that but i learned with the last one that that makes people run away so i've just decided to hand to crew food to see if anybody dies

Speaker 2 I've learned a really important question to ask in these moments on the counter is to say when you put on a shirt do you put your arms through the holes first do you put your head through the hole first or do you do a weird thing where you drape the shirt over your entire body and keep your hands directly at your side?

Speaker 2 And then once your shirt is on, you slither your arms up through the shirt and through the armholes like a regular lunatic. Because then I might know we have a problem.

Speaker 1 So the ladies are being wacky. They're like cracking up.
They're like, how do I open this door to go to the outside? What is not open? Honey, you need to press the button. I pressed the button.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, it opened.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Try and open it with my butt.

Speaker 1 Oh, I wouldn't open. I'm falling.

Speaker 2 You know, I got a parking spot at this doorway. So then Harry's asking where Adair is and everything.
And Adair walks through,

Speaker 2 she arrives. Saying, hey, this is yummy.
So they all,

Speaker 2 it's just, they're talking. I don't know.
Nothing really happens. Viana's basically, he's just crushing.
And he's like, we've put everything out there now that we can, you two.

Speaker 2 So Johnny and Adair go down for two hours. So they're going to go and have a break.
I don't know why I felt compelled to read that, but now we all know exactly when they need to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 That's what happens.

Speaker 2 It's like, I thought when he said, when I started reading it, I thought he was saying, Now that I put it out there, that I'm really into you.

Speaker 2 Uh, but no, he was like, No, we've put the water toys out on the ocean and you can take a break.

Speaker 1 So, Laura checks in with Brie. She's like, What's going on with Harry? She's like, I don't know.
We went out on a date. I told him my parents owned an ice cream shop, and then nothing.

Speaker 1 It's just like, hi, bye. How was your night? Oh, I mean, what is that? She goes, Oh, so he needs to get into gear then.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's fizzling. What if it's fizzling?

Speaker 1 I think it's fizzling out, but we haven't talked about it. If a fizzle fizzles in a forest, but there's no one around to hear it fizzle, are you even drinking a Diet Coke? I need more communication.

Speaker 2 All right, well, I'm just going to sit over here and fantasize about going to my cottage in rural England with my dogs because you're annoying the hell out of me. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 So basically, what's happening to you is what's happened with Harry and every woman since he's ever been born. You're bored.
She's like,

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 2 So now Vion is talking to Harry about this love letter situation. He's like, Would you like me to read it out loud? And Harry's like, Yeah, absolutely.
But read it very slowly.

Speaker 2 You don't want to go too fast. He's like, All right.
Adair, you speak your mind and there's no filter. And that I love, I love that the most.
Never change that as it is what makes you you.

Speaker 2 That is what makes you you. I mean, your accent.
I love your accent. And Harry's like, oh, American accents.
It's like, yeah, it makes my heart skip a beat. Well, you are special.

Speaker 1 And Harry's like,

Speaker 1 he likes her accent. I mean, she's got no inside voice.
And she's like, yay, back around here. Swing that truck over the low.

Speaker 1 No one likes that accent.

Speaker 2 Harry was way too accurate with that.

Speaker 1 It's so funny.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. You've got the most romantic voice I've ever heard in my life.

Speaker 2 New I've heard that before.

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Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 now they all,

Speaker 2 speaking of which, what are toys, party, fun times. Laura's telling Brie they need to set up the dinner at a certain time.
And then Vion's trying to flirt.

Speaker 2 So he's like, Sue, Adea, was your break good? Yeah, I showered and washed my hair. It was real nice.
I was trying to get more mud into it, honestly, but I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 So then Laura's like, well, you know, I didn't really want to get the boys in the underwear, so why don't we put some palm leaves on the front and the back? How about that, Bri? Do that.

Speaker 1 And she's like, oh my god, they're gonna love this.

Speaker 1 So Laura's like, well, they requested Seychelles Island-themed dinner. So, you know, do Silver Hot Pants scream Seychelles? Not really, but the women are gonna love it.
I get to demean Harry again, so

Speaker 1 it's worth it.

Speaker 2 So then Zarina's

Speaker 2 Zarina's telling Jason that the boys are going to be in booty pants again. And she's like, oh, and by the way, I don't think I told you, Jason, but

Speaker 2 I filmed the boys just sitting having a laugh on the job. This is my polite way of tattling on them and saying they're not doing their shit.

Speaker 2 Because while Harry and Bion were reading that love letter, they were on like a monitor in the galley. And so

Speaker 2 Serena totally recorded them as she should have for proof when she needs it when they accuse her of like not pulling her own weight for some reason so serena shows the captain she's like oh forgot to tell you you've got some videos about the boys sitting around

Speaker 1 and he's just like meh they love a chat the old dick we're gonna do so he doesn't really care um so then uh

Speaker 1 you know he probably cares more that they're tattletaling honestly so then laura's like uh you know vion can we get someone to set up for dinner and he's like no She's like, why? He's like, because

Speaker 1 Harry's down and I need a deer for water toys. And part of our love story.
I can't have to get out of my sight.

Speaker 2 He probably is like, I want to have time alone with Adair so I can flirt with her. She's like, yes, I just feel like it's a bit like the boys are all kind of just like chilling.

Speaker 2 It's just a bit annoying to see us getting it done as quickly as possible. And then Adair is always just like wandering around like she's got nothing to do.
He's like, he's like, well, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 And he's like, no, it's just like, that's just the way things are with you guys. Someone could be doing this, you know, things like that.

Speaker 2 You could be productive and not standing around reading poetry to each other on the closed circuit television.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and he was like, but then if we're going to walk off deck and start giving you a hand in interior, then they're going to start taking the piss out of that.

Speaker 1 She's like, well, and he says, well, you know, this is honestly, this is very gray for me. This is a very gray area.
And she's like, um,

Speaker 1 okay, well, I don't even get to send my girls to eat. And he's like, but what else is there for me to do? And she's like, give them a kick up the ass and have them do more.

Speaker 1 And he's like, okay, he's like doing that kind of stupid blink, but he's starting to simmer.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and this happens like on every single day.

Speaker 1 Or I guess he's starting to boil. Simmer is when you calm down, right? So he's starting to boil.

Speaker 2 And this, every season of Blow Deck, the boatswain is always so

Speaker 2 such a dick about like helping out. Like this is the time you need service.

Speaker 2 You have, if you have six people on your boat that need to be served dinner and you need to help, like there's a lot, like you can only, and they've got multiple levels. Why not help?

Speaker 2 Because the guys aren't doing anything. The boat is angered.
The toys are in. Nothing's being cleaned right now.
Everyone's just standing around.

Speaker 2 So Lara is very annoyed.

Speaker 2 She's like i've never worked with anyone like vion he hasn't shown any initiative he's all about himself and he doesn't have the passion for the job he will get a smaller booty short than usual tonight so vion's like i mean how does laura even have the free time to monitor my deck crew because obviously your stuff is not getting done so i wonder what the problem is

Speaker 1 So then Serena and Lara are planning the lunch thing and Vion is saying, you know, he's talking to the guy, or he's talking to the crew, his deck crew, and he's like, you know, with the interior, I feel like we're helping them a lot, but obviously they sees it different.

Speaker 1 So I don't get it, but my advice would be to just don't stand around and make it look like you're not doing anything. So just walk in circles, no leaning.

Speaker 1 If you've got line, if you've got time to lean, you've got time to pretend that you're not leaning. So Laura doesn't ask you to do shit because it's not her job.

Speaker 2 So rather than actually help out, he's telling his crew. to pretend like you're working.
Yeah, we don't have to actually work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's not saying help out more. He's saying pretend you're busy so you don't have to help.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so Johnny's like, Well, if you need to help, tell me. I mean, I'm not going to say no, fuck you.
Johnny's like, I'll help. He's like, No, no, no, don't, don't help.

Speaker 2 Pretend like you're going to help. He's like, I feel bad saying this, but because it's not the truth.
And Adair's like, Wow, you're really hurting my feelings right now.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I'm so sorry. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Love story. Really? So Johnny is like, I don't care who's right or who's wrong.
Here's what's right. My heart.
And this is on the right path.

Speaker 1 You can argue with duties, but you cannot argue love.

Speaker 2 So Jason.

Speaker 2 He's having a very emotional charter. Jason calls Vian to

Speaker 2 the captain's area, the captain's region of the boat. And he's basically saying, hey,

Speaker 2 we're going to get dropping off guests at Ladique at 11.

Speaker 2 At 11, they're going to get off, and then they're going to, I guess, go on their tour or whatever. But landing at 11,

Speaker 2 you figure it up, organize this whole tour thing, et cetera. Lead the team, talk to Laura, talk to the chef, figure this out.

Speaker 1 So then,

Speaker 1 let's see. So now Johnny is really hungry, right? And so Laura's like, okay, well, once Adair's had dinner, then she can move up to cabins.

Speaker 1 So Laura's like, well, we're going to serve the first court in a Hawaiian shirt. The second course, you'll have the shirt open.
The third course, you're wearing this.

Speaker 1 And we're serving a fourth course which is just your bowls on a plate. I just like all of the testicles on one giant plate.

Speaker 2 It's just a progression. So then

Speaker 2 Johnny is like, well, I don't know if I'm going to fit into that. And he starts eating some of this Thai curry.
And he starts, but he starts...

Speaker 2 His reaction to spice was hilarious because I feel like normally when people eat spicy things, they're like, whoa.

Speaker 2 You know, they do that thing that you fan your mouth, which is funny because it's not like that really ever helps anything because you're not really creating any sort of like wind currents, but it's kind of like a gesture, like, guys, my mouth is on fire.

Speaker 2 But he starts being, he starts, he starts acting like he's having a reaction. He's like, Oh,

Speaker 2 I thought it was, I thought an animal was going to pop out of his chest.

Speaker 1 Did you ever see that video of cats tasting things for the first time?

Speaker 2 Don't be like, No, I wish you

Speaker 1 let a cat taste ice cream, and the cat's like

Speaker 1 that's how Johnny was. Their face just freezes with their mouth open.

Speaker 1 Like they're petrified. Their taste buds don't know what to do.
It was so fucking funny.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I'm crying over here.

Speaker 1 And Harry's like, I'll try it. Oh, my God.
God, it's really hot. Jeez.
And Johnny's like, I'm hungry. I don't care.
I'll eat it.

Speaker 2 And they're all like these big burly guys. And they're all just like dying with the spicy food.

Speaker 1 They're like, ah!

Speaker 2 And Alicia's like, sorry. I love spice.

Speaker 1 And Harry's just like, oh, he's going to eat it because he's in love. So he's like, the curry warms up my whole insides.
It almost came out of my eyes. Keep on eating.
Keep on smiling.

Speaker 1 I do it for love.

Speaker 2 Curry eyes. So then

Speaker 2 Alicia's, she's so proud of herself. She's like, yeah, it's a pretty diabolical curry.

Speaker 2 So she's, it's so funny because she's like, just smiling.

Speaker 2 So now it's time for service, time for the food to go up. Zarina's making an enormous snapper.
She has this big-ass snapper that's salt-baked. It was big fish.

Speaker 2 She looks, I feel like Zarina does a good fish. I feel like she, whenever she has to do like some nice fillets or whatever, she really kills it, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she does great with fish and soups. Loves a soup.
So they've climbed 707 stairs today, we see on the screen. And so

Speaker 1 Marina's showing Adair how to clean and stuff. And then Lara presents the snapper with mango salad, bonnet petiti.

Speaker 1 And then the guys come out in their shirts. They're buttoned.
It's crazy. It's first course.

Speaker 1 So then Alicia is asking

Speaker 1 to clean stuff. So they're doing great in the galley because Alicia's like, please let me clean things.
So Serena's in love.

Speaker 1 And then Alicia's like, you know, it's a lot of work and it's a lot of adjustment. But, you know, God, Serena's a good, a good boss to have.

Speaker 1 You know, it's really nice to be around a woman who doesn't look exactly like like me and Excel in every single goddamn way. So it's nice.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 Marina, meanwhile, is talking to Adair. And Marina's like, so do you have type? And Adair's like, well, I thought I do, but I don't know.
I don't know how well that's working out for me.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's probably time for me to switch it up. She's like, what's your type? I don't know, like a redneck vibe.

Speaker 2 And Marina's like, oh, like, woman, bring me a beer, like gross ketchup on white tank top, you know, just like sitting in in lounge chair throwing tinfoil at tv watching football and picking nose yeah exactly like that that's perfect i love that yeah you know i just i just want someone to tell me bring me a damn beer you know sometimes that's just all you want in life and she's like i was joking there that is so sad

Speaker 1 that's so sad

Speaker 2 You want someone to show up in a pickup truck covered in mud, doing like donuts in the parking lot and going off and drinking and driving down the.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's perfect. That sounds like the dream.

Speaker 1 Sweat stains, ball hair, booger rockets, you know, typical guy. That's what I'm into.
Sickross. God.

Speaker 2 Hey, you ever see Panic Room? Remember how Dwight Yoakum looked in that movie? That was so fucking hot.

Speaker 1 So now the next chorus is served and the shirts are open. And the guests are like, wait a minute, now there's shirts open.

Speaker 1 and um vion's like don't worry there's one more dish to go don't spoil it jesus this is this is a progressive surprise dinner don't tell her tell them what's coming

Speaker 1 so then um uh it's gonna be a local chicken curry with a caramelized pineapple enjoy um so right now vion's totally fine with getting into the booty shorts which they're currently which they're doing right now and he's like get the shirts off boys boys you know what let's do it for the tip because when you earn 2500 euros you're not gonna care about wearing this shit so just put it on so he does and he comes into the kitchen and serena's like whoa hold on a second please nobody stare at my eyes

Speaker 2 wow that's really beauty so then Adair's meanwhile grossed out.

Speaker 2 She's like, oh, I see her inner thigh hair and I couldn't even imagine eating my cake and turning over and have that silver crotch in my face. No, thank you.

Speaker 1 So whatever happened to Levi's

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 the guys are like taking forever by the way to change to get into booty shorts.

Speaker 2 They're taking forever and they're sitting around a lot during this entire thing the students are going up and down the staircase. Zarina's plating, Alicia's playing, everyone's like working so hard.

Speaker 2 And the guys are just sitting there joking around, taking their time. And Lara's like, hello, hello, come on, hurry up, everyone.

Speaker 2 You know, just because you're stripped fast doesn't mean you have to lazy.

Speaker 2 It's like, I don't really understand the correlation between those two concepts but fine she's like come on come on come on do this hurry up so laura's basically bossing them around because they're dragging their asses and she's like get up there

Speaker 1 yeah and vion is not liking that so he's like look i don't like this because my butt cheeks are hanging out let's like let's just get it over with she's like you just did a strip tease the other day you rubbed your whole tank on a woman's face

Speaker 1 i think you'll be fine and he's like well but i wasn't so naked i had underwear on okay your underwear that were the same size as this. And she's like, I thought you were a world-class stripper.

Speaker 1 No one said world-class. They said beefcakes.

Speaker 1 It's not world-class.

Speaker 2 So his whole thing is that the underwear he was wearing fit him better. So he's like self-conscious or he's claiming to be self-conscious all of a sudden about it.

Speaker 1 He's like a stripper diva. He's like, well, I can do it when my booty shorts fit me right.

Speaker 2 And we're like, why is he all of a sudden being so particular about his booty shorts? I mean, look,

Speaker 2 we all know what it's like to put on a shirt that's like, you're like, oh, God, I hate the way I look in this shirt or something like that. So for a moment, I was like, oh, I can understand it.

Speaker 2 But then he says, I'm her equal on this boat and she's bossing me around like I'm one of her minions. It's fucking annoying.
Like, this is really pissing me off. I'm like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's not about smatty shorts.

Speaker 2 It's because you're fragile.

Speaker 1 Because listen, I mean, I've never had a job where I haven't been asked to put on like really skin-tight booty shorts and that's it. You know, so I know what it's like.

Speaker 1 Like, you really need to get the right ones. And I think if he had started this by saying, listen, you've had us naked every dinner and it's starting to feel creepy.

Speaker 1 Like, can we just not be naked anymore? Like, if he had started that, I think that everybody has the right to be like, girl, I'm not getting in booty shorts for every single dinner.

Speaker 1 I think everybody has that right. But the fact that he was all gung-ho and like, let's do it for the tip.
And now he's mad that he's getting bossed around. And now he's using it.

Speaker 1 Like, how dare you treat me like this? It's like, okay, no one's buying it, buddy.

Speaker 2 Exactly. So they go up, they do it.
Everyone's amused, et cetera. And

Speaker 2 afterwards, Beyonce really he's upset he's like that was not fun this was like well why did you do it then he's like well what are you going to say no he's like well you could have said no he's like but why why could we not be in our hawaiian board shorts it's it's kind of funny because he's like i hate being bossed around by law but unfortunately i have to listen to everything that she says yeah

Speaker 2 It's like, well, you can't play the card. Like, we're equals.
You can't boss me around. Then why are you saying that you had to listen? You could have just said, no, I'm not going to do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Harry's like, well, what's the difference between that and Speedos? I really don't get it.
And he's like, well, I feel uncomfortable with my butt cheeks all hanging out.

Speaker 1 You know, the whole thing is going up my butt crack. I mean, it was too far.
It was too far. And Harry's like, okay.

Speaker 1 He's like, he put them off. He looked at himself in the mirror and he was like, yep, I'm going to wear them.
And he served them. And so obviously this is about something else.

Speaker 2 Yes. And to be fair, I think also Harry is lacking empathy in this department because to him booty shorts is like wearing a full tuxedo because like normally it's a budgie smuggler.

Speaker 2 so it gets smaller.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's true.

Speaker 2 Yeah, skimpier. I should be sure.

Speaker 1 He's like, this is the parker of swimwear. I don't really understand.

Speaker 2 It's the hoop dress of swimming.

Speaker 2 So, um,

Speaker 2 so Zarina's asking him how it went, and he's like, Oh, I think it went a bit too far. I mean, that's just not usually a piece of clothing.
She's like, and Zarina's like, but like, was it a good fit?

Speaker 2 They like, they are quite tight. It's like, I just didn't feel comfortable in them.
She's like, Well, she knows she can't help but arrive.

Speaker 2 She ordered it on off of Seychelles Amazon, and this is just what they had. And I don't think she wrote to them saying, like, please give me the smallest and tightest booty short.
He's like, but no.

Speaker 2 And Harry's saying, like, we have, but no one's forcing you to do anything. You know, it was peer pressure.
Yes, but you don't have to, you're your own person.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And meanwhile, Serena puts the shorts over her clothes.
She's like, it's not that tight. Do not, does it, do I look as hot to you now as you look to me in these things? Come on.

Speaker 1 He's like, God.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Harry's just like, I don't think it was her intention to hurt you. And he's like, I need to leave.
He's getting mad that no one will be on his side because he's trying to do this.

Speaker 1 Like, I have, I'm a victim of harassment. And they're like, okay, sir.

Speaker 2 And no one's on his side. And the reason why no one's on his side is partially because he's a lazy worker.

Speaker 2 So if he had been like a really good worker, he would have built up a lot of like social capital on this boat. But he's not a good worker.
So he's, his laziness chews into all of his social capital.

Speaker 2 And he doesn't realize that. So now in this moment where he wants to spend some social capital to get people on his side about the booty shorts issue, everyone's like, no, you were lazy.
So

Speaker 1 yeah, and again, because I know that people are going to be like, well, if the roles were reversed, if the rules were reversed, I would say, no, you can't have the ladies coming out here serving a bikinis every meal.

Speaker 1 That's creepy. And the guys would be a lot creepier about it.
The guy guests would be a lot creepier about it.

Speaker 1 And also,

Speaker 1 if he, like I said earlier, if he had said earlier, like, I'm not comfortable with this. I don't like it.
And she made him, then that would be different.

Speaker 1 But the fact that he okayed it, went through with it and now is like, what? This is, this is just unfairness.

Speaker 2 I don't think it's well, if the roles were reversed, it'd be a whole different story. Of course, it would be because it's in different contexts, but it's not, they're not reversed.

Speaker 2 So, therefore, Vion, you suck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Fion sucks. So, then we get a romance scene with Harry and Brie.
So, he's like, All right, here we go. Brie,

Speaker 1 how was your day? How was it? Second.

Speaker 1 He's like, First day of charter. She goes, Yeah, they're nice.
And he's like, Is that so? Yeah, really nice.

Speaker 1 all right bye she's like oh my god what does it mean

Speaker 1 why why is harry walking so slowly out the out of the room just try and take it a little slower that's all don't mind me one step at a time so now vion wants to slip the letter to adair but he doesn't want he doesn't want to put it on the bed because then marine marina will see it and then she'll pick it up and harry's like um i think if you write it to Adair, she won't pick it up.

Speaker 1 And he's like, oh, I just need it in the right hands because I've had a thing with Marina, you know? Like, do I write my name with, like, love? And it's like, no, please don't write love.

Speaker 1 Please, please. You've got at least three years of courtship before you do that.

Speaker 2 Listen, I don't want Marina to find this letter, so I'm going to put it in the most discreet place. Exactly where you put your foot when you walk into her room by sliding it under the door.

Speaker 1 Like, right.

Speaker 2 If it were on Adair's bed, that would actually be more discreet than just sliding it under the door and just having it right there in the middle of the floor for everyone to see.

Speaker 1 And Vian's all nervous. He's like, oh my God, I just don't want Marina to throw it away.
God,

Speaker 1 that was an epic opis I wrote. It was just

Speaker 1 so much thought and so much time, so many words. You know, it was very hard to write.
So I've just had butterflies in my stomach.

Speaker 2 So he's, so then he slides it under the door. Jason checks in with Alicia to see how her first day was, and it was good.

Speaker 2 And then Marina goes in the cabin, and of course she opens the door and she steps right in the letter and she's like, what the? And she's like, there's a letter.

Speaker 2 And so she doesn't throw it out because she's not, she's not the crazy person that

Speaker 2 Vion is trying to make her out to be. So she's like, I dare you got mail.
She's like, oh, finally a male around here. Did he bring a beer? No, like, let's her mail.

Speaker 1 Oh. Did he ask him to bring me, did he ask me to bring him a beer? No, I don't want to read it.
She's like,

Speaker 1 well, it's three pages. It's very Ross from Friends.
I don't know what that is. What the hell? Could you, I don't know,

Speaker 1 reference it to Grace Under Fire or something?

Speaker 2 Could you include something that involves ducks and dynasties?

Speaker 1 I like that this young girl would be referencing reruns of Grace Under Fire.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 Can't mention Brett Butler.

Speaker 2 He got in the original flavor, Roseanne.

Speaker 1 Reference that.

Speaker 1 I don't like long letters. The longest thing I like to read is the license plate.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 meanwhile, Bree is checking with Laura. Brie and Laura are looking at the fish in Captain Jason's

Speaker 2 room and they're looking at the, and Laura's telling them, Brie, what the names are.

Speaker 2 And she's like, yes, and this one right here, this relaxed one, his name is Vion, because he's not, he's just floating around not doing much and wearing booty shorts.

Speaker 2 I've never seen booty shorts on a fish before. Yeah, it was hard to find, but you know, Amazon really has everything.

Speaker 1 Now Adair reads her letter and it is so fucking funny because he reads it. They put him in like a little bubble of him reading the whole letter.

Speaker 1 You know, he's like, Adair, I know we are working together and spending a lot of time together and I want to keep it professional at all times, but I won't lie in saying

Speaker 1 I don't have no feelings for you. It's like, oh my God.
Don't write.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of double megas there.

Speaker 2 I won't lie in saying I don't have no feelings. Well, first of all, it's grammatically questionable.

Speaker 2 So wait, I won't lie by saying I don't have no feelings.

Speaker 1 Now, he might be just trying to talk like someone that she can understand. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't have no feelings for you.

Speaker 1 I just want a man to look me in the eye and say, listen, I don't got no feelings for you.

Speaker 2 Well, if you say, I don't got no feelings, that means you do not have no feelings. That means you do have feelings, but he says, I don't want to lie and say I do have feelings for you.

Speaker 2 So is this letter saying

Speaker 2 that, like, if he says he has feelings, he's lying? Is this a letter saying, I want you to know I'm not romantically attracted to you?

Speaker 2 I think technically that's what he knows.

Speaker 1 Nobody knows. It's go-go boy English.
Nobody knows, you know. So he's like, there's still so much I would like to know about you.

Speaker 1 I feel like we have only touched the surface of what lies underneath i hope i get the opportunity to not not explore those

Speaker 1 no feet unshallows that are maybe depths but not two shadows with you

Speaker 2 i hope i get to explore those depths specifically the ones in your vagina with my penis she's like ow and so

Speaker 1 looking at it like jesus christ is longer than the bible and marina's like girl you better spill the tea she's like well

Speaker 1 i think it says something like your energy is bright in a room and something like that. I mean, I guess that's what he said.

Speaker 2 She's like, it's sweet.

Speaker 2 She's just hearing herself.

Speaker 2 Beta.

Speaker 2 So, um, Harry is, Harry's talking to Laura and he's like, So, by the way, I'm sitting on your bench. How do you feel?

Speaker 2 She's like, good. He's like, so what's the low down? What's the gossip? Should I do something else for Brie? You know, I don't want to go too fast, you know.

Speaker 2 So I was kind of thinking of maybe walking up to her, smiling, and then walking away. I don't know.
She goes, um,

Speaker 2 well, listen, what are you doing right now to make her interested? Are you doing anything? Have you shown you even flirt with her? It's a flirt. That's like, that's like second base.

Speaker 2 That's right before, that's right before third base, which as we know was

Speaker 2 touching her, touching her shoulder.

Speaker 1 So I mean, it's basically like going on to the dockwear. Not that I've ever done it, but I mean, I've done things like this.
Don't tell anybody.

Speaker 1 I don't want anyone to find out but i've done things like say how's your morning

Speaker 2 she's like yeah i just um

Speaker 2 you know you have to be careful because otherwise a girl can just kind of float off and you know the thing is this she's like a mortal so don't really fuck this up so make a move she's like yeah oh my god She's like, I don't think she knows that you like her.

Speaker 1 So he's like, I'm so shocked right now. I can't believe what Laura's saying.
I mean, last child of the the season, I moved too quickly with Margo, and now I'm being told to move too slowly.

Speaker 1 Well, the difference is you were moving quickly with someone who didn't really like you. That girl just wanted you in the friend zone.
This girl does like you. So you can move slowly.
Yes. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can move more, not slowly.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm not lying when I say I don't go no faster.

Speaker 2 So the crew is waking up. It's the morning and everyone's saying hi.
Morning. Hello.
Hello. Adair and Vion

Speaker 2 have like a little hug.

Speaker 2 And Vion is he because she's like, because she hugs him, he's like, oh, good. She's not mad at me about that.
No. And he's like, no, that I know I have a chance.
I'm on clear at nine.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And then they're talking about Jason's telling everyone, get ready because this is the day of the big picnic. They're going to leave at 11.
There's a lot of organization that needs to be done.

Speaker 2 And surely Vion has been focused on that since he learned about the plan. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So now it's laura serena and vian and they're like okay well what's the plans for the thing and he's like i mean you see it there they're going on a bike ride and they're like um

Speaker 1 so do you have a plan he's like yeah people will be with them on bikes uh probably marina and adair and she's like but i'm going to do the picnic and he's like okay so adair riding then and johnny on the beach and then chef you me i mean who cares you know beach bike duh there's radios people can just communicate and she's like adair's like but will the radio work And he's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 probably.

Speaker 2 So I just need you to tell me what time I should be there to cook the lunch for everyone. He's like, well, you could be there, I don't know, like 12, 4 p.m., 7 p.m., 1 p.m.

Speaker 1 Yesterday. I don't know.
Let's just say 12 of someday.

Speaker 1 And she's like, okay.

Speaker 1 And so Lara's like, I mean, what's going on in his head? This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the guests. I mean, what are they going to do?

Speaker 1 You need to make sure that the sandwiches are fresh when they get back from the tortoises.

Speaker 2 So then meanwhile, Harry's like, okay, I'm going to step up my game. So we text Brie and he says, I wish we had more time to talk while on charter.
Your kisses and hugs are the best part of my day.

Speaker 2 Wish we could have a proper

Speaker 2 snuggle together. And she's like,

Speaker 2 oh, this made my day.

Speaker 2 Does he like me though? I'm really still so confused. So she wrote back.
She writes back saying, this made my day. And I always look forward to your hugs and kisses.
And I love that.

Speaker 2 She's really happy because he finally decided to flirt with her.

Speaker 1 So now it's the picnic time. So Lara's sending some people to set.
She's telling Serena to set up with Johnny and she'll go with the guests and do the bike ride with Adair in them.

Speaker 1 And so Jason's radioing to get it's getting swelly. So they're going to have to go in a taxi.
Okay, so they all start going over there. And well, first breakfast is served.

Speaker 1 And Serena's like, um, so first one you're going to be making this is smoked salmon. Well, basically, she's just cooking with Alicia, Alicia, right? So they could.

Speaker 2 By the way, can I say something? Can I say something? And this is totally going back, but I forgot to mention it because this was, I thought, notable. Just with Vion complaining about everything,

Speaker 1 I'm totally stopping the flow, but I'm just this was bothering me enough that I'm like, I was just about to talk about making finger sandwiches. Oh, don't worry.
Glad to see.

Speaker 2 Because this bothered me enough that I was thinking about it in the bathroom last night. I was like, you know what? I have to make this point on the podcast.
And then I almost forgot to.

Speaker 2 But what I thought was so funny and what I really love about Blow Deck, they are so smart with their editing.

Speaker 2 This show is really a very sophisticated show, a way that they really storytell with very quick things. We saw that whole scene of Johnny and all the deckies eating that spicy curry.

Speaker 2 And they're all sitting around. They're in like a bank.
They're in their banquet. They're like losing their minds because it's so spicy.
They're coughing. They're sneezing.

Speaker 2 But they're all just sitting there. They're doing their thing.
And there was this really quick shot of in the middle of the service that Brie and Lara, did you see this?

Speaker 2 They both had like mugs of the curry and they had to like sneak a few spoonfuls off to the side and they were like, oh, thank God. And they just were eating it and then they went back to work.

Speaker 2 And I love that because this told the story of how these guys on the deck have all this time to lays around and they're like, oh my God, so spicy.

Speaker 2 And meanwhile, these girls are like, whatever, fuck the spice. And they just pile and

Speaker 2 go right into it. And I just have to say, I love that.
I love that little scene because it told so much between the two departments.

Speaker 2 And I know it has nothing nothing to do with what's going on with the story right now, but it does speak to the larger story about why Vion is setting such like Vion acting so insolent that he can't let other people help out.

Speaker 2 You know, and he's like, oh, but why do we always have to help out? But meanwhile, your people are down there in the crew mess.

Speaker 2 It's just sitting around being they have the luxury to be coughing over their hot curry. So anyway.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to sit there and marinate in your assholes being turned into rings of fire. So

Speaker 1 exactly so now it's time to load up the tender and get stuff across so they're packing and vion's like oh my god you guys are so on top of it i don't even have to give you direction so i'm not going to i'm tired

Speaker 1 geez yeah so then one of the guests like she literally backs out of this picnic yeah this guy's the worst so now uh one of the guests is like wish you were coming captain he's like someone's got to look after the ship don't they i'm working on some some kimono designs.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking this time they'll open the front and have like a silk belt or something like that.

Speaker 1 You guys go ahead.

Speaker 2 I might not be at the tortoise sanctuary physically, but I will be there fashionably. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my new line of tortoise kimonos, debuting today on David.

Speaker 1 So now

Speaker 1 Harry has to help with rooms, and then the water taxi is loaded up. And so everybody heads over there.
So

Speaker 1 Vion decides that he has time because he's backed out of doing anything. So he's going to make a romantic thing for Adair.
Well, he's not going to make it. He's going to make somebody else make it.

Speaker 1 So he's like, you know what goes like cheese plates. So I'm going to make a cheese platter for Adair.
And Harry's like, okay.

Speaker 1 And he goes, and then I'm going to give her a hug and I'm going to whisper in her ear,

Speaker 1 would you like to go on a date with me? I don't care if you're farting due to the dairy. I would love you anyway.
And Harry's like, wait, you have to do that? Right in my ear?

Speaker 1 Like, do you want to go on a date with me? I wouldn't do that. It's very close.
Ear work is like ear four.

Speaker 2 That's very close to your lips touching. And that's, that's, that's not even, that's not even the, that's not even the home base.
That's, that's grand slam, the kissing.

Speaker 2 He's like, yes, but that's what I want to do. And he's like, after you, wait, you want to kiss her after you whisper? Are you even allowed to do that? Is that legal? He's like, yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm going to shower. So this guy has backed out of the pic out of the picnic and now he's spending his time hatching a cheese plate romance also

Speaker 2 while in the meantime the people who have arrived on the on the coast johnny and um

Speaker 2 johnny and bree

Speaker 2 they weren't even told what the landscape was gonna be i think they thought it was a beach picnic so they are barefoot they don't even have shoes so they're having to walk through streets and all sorts of surfaces with prickly and scary things you know that's like hurting their souls like and it's also hot cement.

Speaker 1 It's so why wouldn't they have shoes? So didn't they, weren't they going on a bike ride? Who rides bikes barefoot?

Speaker 2 Well, they, no, they didn't have shoes because they thought they were setting up a beach picnic, but it wasn't

Speaker 1 the beach part. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know if we were there yet or not, but either way, I'm like, I was like so mad that they were not, they were not told to, that, where, where this picnic was supposed to be.

Speaker 1 So Harry's like, so what do you want me to do while you take a shower? And he's like, I don't care. He's like, I guess I'll shoot me some stainless or something.

Speaker 1 So he's taking all this time and squandering it instead of like getting out of work and stuff.

Speaker 1 So then Vion goes to Alicia in the kitchen and he's like, so Alicia, are you good at making cheese boards? And she's like, um, I mean, is this for you? And he goes, no.

Speaker 1 And she says, is it for the guests? And he's like, it's for a date. And she goes, oh, did you ask Kadara out? And he's like, no, not yet, but I will.

Speaker 1 She goes, well, I mean, do you think she'll say yes? I mean, was she not slightly put off by the fact that you've gone through half the crew

Speaker 2 she's like well i've been here for 36 hours and my twin wouldn't have said that but i'm not your twin

Speaker 1 he's like no i haven't he gets really defensive he's like no i haven't she goes oh so it's just a rumor there and he's like i'm not into any of them though she goes yeah you should make your own cheese board and he's like oh whatever and he's like no respect and he like storms off why the fuck should she stop she's actually working you're doing nothing and is

Speaker 1 also doing nothing. Make Harry cut a fucking cheese board.
And I love her now because she's like, get the knife out. I'll show you what the cheese is, but I'm busy.
I mean, who the fuck is this guy?

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 It was great.

Speaker 2 I love that she was not intimidated by the fact that he was a superior head of department or anything. It was so obnoxious.
I mean, she's doing work. So he's like, oh, surely you're not busy.

Speaker 2 You're a sous chef. No, baby girl.
This is not going to work like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, it is going to work like that because she's actually working like that and you're not.

Speaker 1 She doesn't work for you, you fucking weirdo. So, and it's not romantic when you're like, oh, guess what? I had some underling make you a cheese plate.
Go fucking order a cheese plate then.

Speaker 1 You're docked.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So then, meanwhile, we see this is where everyone is arriving for the picnic setup and everything.
And they don't have a cart to haul anything.

Speaker 2 Cause again, I think, I don't think they were told that the beach picnic is not actually just like on the beach where they're landing. So they don't have a cart.

Speaker 2 They don't have shoes, and they have to carry all this heavy shit barefoot through the streets of Ladique.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's terrible.
So I don't know whose fault this is because don't they pick the beach picnic?

Speaker 1 Wouldn't that be kind of an interior thing? Is that a deck thing to pitch the picnic?

Speaker 2 I think it's usually the, I think it's the deckhands because haven't we seen before in other shows where like the bosun goes scouting the beaches and stuff? Maybe because it was a water.

Speaker 2 Here's where there could be some grace. Because there was a water taxi that went to water.
Yes, yes i know i'm from new york but because there was a water taxi it

Speaker 2 maybe it dropped them off in a different place than where they would have dropped off with the tender so maybe that was it but they're still i don't know i still to the beach i still think that like vion was like

Speaker 1 like like there wasn't a moment where vion said okay they're taking a water taxi where are they going to land like there was no thought of like anything he's just like okay they're going off and they're going to figure it out yeah while he's arguing about cheese plates that he doesn't want to make so they start setting up and now vion's still still going off he's to himself but he's like you stupid fucking person

Speaker 1 which i was proud of him for at least not saying bitch because i was prepared i was prepared and he's like i'm fucking pissed i'm pissed off about this oh well you're not pissed enough to pick up a knife and start cutting some cheese and let me tell you something else i don't think any girl wants just a cheese plate to herself it's weird and it's far i think it's a strange well it's a weird cheese plate kind of feels like the date like if i'm gonna if you're gonna romance someone and you're gonna sit down with with a cheese plate, that is the date.

Speaker 2 So, then why are you asking for the date with the cheese plate?

Speaker 1 Yeah, who's like, here's the cheese plate. Now, hug me and let me whisper in your ear, I'm in love with you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and again, it's such a misread of who Adair is. I don't think she wants a cheese plate.
I think she wants like ribs.

Speaker 1 And I'm not even saying that as like a cornhole and she wants to like, you know, watch some NASCAR shit and like go get wings.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yeah, she wants something a little messy, you know, and God bless, you know, she should.
She deserves it.

Speaker 2 So, um,

Speaker 1 I mean, it sounds like she's going to be I'm sorry, what is this, Chiefs?

Speaker 1 It's not flat and it's not shiny and yellow. So I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 Where's the breading?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 anyway,

Speaker 2 Laura, meanwhile, is with the guests, and they're doing this bike ride to the tortoise sanctuary. And it's taking a long time.
It's a long bike ride. There's traffic.
You know, Caroline.

Speaker 2 almost drunkenly drives into a truck. I got a parking spot on that truck.
But they arrive at the tortoise sanctuary and we meet the tortoise and they ask if the tortoise has a name.

Speaker 1 And the tortoise is named David, which I thought,

Speaker 2 why do they name this tortoise David? That is hilarious. I love when they, I love, I think I've said this before.
I am so amused when people give animals very kind of like plain American names.

Speaker 1 David.

Speaker 2 Like formal too. This is David.

Speaker 1 He's a

Speaker 1 cute. So they pick the tortoise and stuff.
He's 114. So everybody loves him.

Speaker 2 They give David the treatment as if he were the charter, the primary charter guest. Did you know? They put the whole thing up on the screen.

Speaker 2 They're like, David, 114 years old, enjoys pets from younger women, loves green vegetables. Kale gives him gas.
It's like his preference she.

Speaker 1 So now the bike ride is taking forever. And so Lara is trying to radio Serena, but of course the radios don't work.
Even after Vion assured them that, of course, they're going to work. So

Speaker 1 she's stuck on the beach trying to make the food and get it ready and now there's flies all over everything because she's ready for them to arrive and they're not arriving

Speaker 1 radios and everything's melting and it's becoming a disaster and now it's 12 23 71 minutes since arriving to the beach and she's like um well i was excited when i was setting up but now i'm getting a little bit worried you know it's not your food flies all right

Speaker 2 I think this is one of the most unorganized beach picnics I've ever been a part of. Like, Vion, what is this?

Speaker 2 And yeah, so it's a disaster because she put everything out way too early and now it's up everything's melting and the flies are attacking it and who knows when anyone's going to be there because everything's delayed and no one can can communicate and it's all vion's fault while he's on the boat making cheese blatters and i can't wait for next week when they when the two women just tear vion apart on on the boat because yeah i hope they do those fucking gods that's what they show in the previews they show zarina and laura basically confronting him vian and basically telling him he's like totally inept.

Speaker 2 And I'm here for it.

Speaker 1 Love it. Well, that's good.
Well, that brings us to the end of Below Deck Down Enda, everybody. Thanks so much for being with us.
Grab tickets for the live tour.

Speaker 1 We'll see you this week in Charlotte and Atlanta and then the following weeks. A ton of other places.
So go to watchwhatcrappins.com for ticket links.

Speaker 1 And thanks for everybody who's watching this on Patreon right now. We love you guys.
We'll talk to you later.

Speaker 2 Bye.

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Speaker 5 Picture this.

Speaker 6 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 6 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 6 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 6 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 6 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 6 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.